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Reviews for Azof and the Farmer's Wife

By : kspence

From ANON - The Lauderdale on March 16, 2013
The degree of naturalist's knowledge you bring to your stories, where applicable, is a real strength. Dunno if I've mentioned that before, but for example, in a story like "Speaks to the Trees," the close attention of the narrative to the natural world is wonderful, even down to a throwaway line like Shagrat "with his head thrown back among the cuckoo-flowers and buttercups."

It's brief here, but when Azof brings his bouquet of blackthorn into the house, the description is both vivid and terrifically appealing: "The delicate flowers were shaped like little, white, apple-blossoms, and � as they were now - in season, covered the rough black branches like bubbles clinging from a soap-bath, clothing them with a frothy, frivolous-looking layer." There's a closeness and an enthusiasm there that is infectious - I mean in the sense that it conveys very readily to the reader. I couldn't have told you a blackthorn from an apple tree before, but I remember going to look it up when I first read this description. I looked it up again just now, getting ready to review, and wound up getting distracted on Wikipedia, learning about the phenomenon of "husband and wife" trees and inosculation.

Although it was a tangent, I quite liked it. It made me think about Azof and Jules, and their own slow grafting.

Azof's description of his woes, post-Ring War, is both sympathetic and funny, with the quick back and forth between his baldness and his impotence. "But me hair! It ain�t growing back at all!" as Jules tried to comfort him, made me laugh but also made me feel terrifically sorry for laughing. And this passage -
[Poor Azof! He was fishing, obviously, and Julienne shook her head at him. But what a ridiculous situation! The Orc had gotten ahead of himself, absurdly far in fact, and she had to struggle to suppress an almost overwhelming impulse to burst out laughing at any moment. Julienne wasn�t an unkind woman, and it was obvious that this would be exactly the wrong thing to do.]
- establishes, not just how far out an already vulnerable Azof is throwing himself in his awkwardness, but also the reaches of Julienne's empathy and generally classy personality. They really are very lucky to have found each other, as the chapters to come will bear out, giving each other what no one else has. Not necessarily because no one else could have, but because no one else seems to have been able to bother themselves.

Which makes me huff a little. I've become quite fond of these two characters: together, yeah, but also separately. I want them to have nice things.

Funny bits that warrant quoting, because I like them.

["An� it�s not cos� I don�t wanna. Cos� I�d do it - I�d shag you, in a minute, if I could! I�m not fussy - I�d shag anyone, I would!"]

["It," he said, looking significantly at Julienne, so that she would be sure to understand what he was talking about, "don�t work no more. You get what I�m talking about?" He made a vague chopping gesture downwards, from the middle of his body. "Me candle. The �old man�. My todger. It. It."
Julienne did her best to look at anything, anything other than the sadly-afflicted region of the Orc�s person, but failed utterly and gave it a brief, searching look.
"Oh yeah, it�s still there."]

["People say it�s bad luck to take � that - in the house."
"Wot�s that? It�s only a bit of blackthorn! I�d never have thought you�d be one for believing such a load of ol� rubbish! Some folk reckon it�s a sign it�s going to get cold again when it flowers, an� what kind of nonsense does that sound like to you?"
"Yes! they call it the blackthorn winter! And look � blackthorn flowering! Don�t you see how it�s snowing right now?"
"Yeah. I s�pose."]
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on March 11, 2013
Reading this chapter again, I had a laugh at all the Drews. I'm not sure I really did differentiate them in my head, the previous occasions that I've read, but Farmer Drew, Distant Cousin Drew (icky, awful man) and Neighbor Drew (Old Drew?) are actually three separate men, aren't they? (And fresh cause to dislike Distant Cousin Drew after Chapter 9. What's WITH that guy, anyway?)

I've always liked this "first time" between Azof and Julienne - from the story-telling perspective, I mean - because of the suddenness of how it happens and the vividness of the action: Azof "waving sideways under their combined weight" and staggering up against a tree, "fighting his way through layers and layers of skirt and underskirt," and then the deed, the failed attempt to speak afterward, and final abrupt departure, absent any kind of explanation. The whole thing feels very real: not just for the "cinema picture" of the action in one's head, but for the way Jules' concern, and Azof's response to that concern, gives way to a kind of quick animalism (nothing that's ever happened to me, but it "feels" right in the story, like something that could happen between two people, not necessarily only these two people); the awkward spontaneity of it; and Jules' closely (almost too closely) realized disappointment afterward, when he just...LEAVES. I can still feel her confusion and her anger and her hurt.
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on March 10, 2013
You know, of course, that I am well ahead on my reading for this story (right up to the present run of 9 chapters), but I think it was somewhere around Chapter 2 that I left my last review, and it's fun to go back again now that the relationship is more established and we know more - er, a bit more, anyway - of what Azof is up to on the side.

Even knowing Azof for the generally good sort that he will prove himself to be over the next chapters, it is hard to see Jules' dealings with him in the early days of Chapter 3 as anything other than ill-advised. Not that I think she's an idiot (although I don't necessarily read characters for their excellent reasoning or emotional intelligence), or some caricature of a sex-crazed grass widow. I do think she is terrifically lonely, though, and as such, taking some risks, and maybe even courting a bit of destruction, in these early dealings with Azof. People can do some not-so-smart things when they are lonely. She really is fortunate that he's such a good sort. (I won't say it's because of his challenges in the bedroom, either; that certainly hasn't stopped sexual predators in other RL scenarios.)

I'm woefully illiterate when it comes to film and television personalities, and not having read much Dickens, I tend not to watch a lot of material based on his work anyway. But I hit up Wikipedia and it looks like I do know Mr. Winstone from one film: 1999, "The War Zone." And isn't that a grand association to be having with him.
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From ANON - HelenaMarkos on January 26, 2013
Oh how this has come along! I love how the relationship between these two has developed, the very real care they seem to have for one another, and Jules' new attraction to him. They both seem like lonely souls, and it is sweet that they have found some joy in one another. This last chapter is especially sweet (an quite sexy ;P), but more than the magic Julienne has worked on Azof, I love her regard for him at the end. Her thus-far absent husband seems like such a wretched thing, and I'm happy for her, that she's found a fella so eager to please (breakfast in bed, Azof you old romantic) and who enjoys her company. And, really, you write the most lovely, non tratitional sex scenes, along with a sort of gentle intimacy that is very sweet. I really like this pair.

Which is why I am very nervous about Azof's outings in previous chapters and their sudden drop off. I really hope things work out ok for these two. They deserve a happy home life at the end of it all.

Beautiful chapters, and I'm a bit cross with myself for waiting so long to check in on this (Laud kindly pointed me here today), but finding three new ones waiting for me was such a joy.
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From ANON - Anon on December 26, 2012
Another awesome chapter! I'm curious as to what Azof is actually doing when he is out and am still wondering if he is ever going to be able to be able to...express his desire for Jules properly. I think is is probably the best bedroom scene that you've done so far and I loved when Azof spoke a little bit about what his life was like before I know I'm really interested in hearing more about his past. Can't wait for the next chapter update soon!
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From AntiDolorifico on November 24, 2012
I swear, every update from you is like a sip of water in a desert, equally desired and loved! Azof's and Jules' relationship is, while not conventional at all (which is good) so strangely sweet. I do hope that he does regain use of his, um, male faculties. And also, it brought a wee smile to my face when he brought her blackthorn, and not only because it was very orcishly adorable, and provides to me, apt symbolism of them both�the black, thorny, unlovable branches, and the delicate, white flowers; the whole beauty and the beast thing. Eh, might be that I read too much into it, do excuse me, but I love snooping around for symbolism and such, even if the author maybe didn't intend for it to be there�I blame my (brilliant) English professors! Also, I liked the reference to blackthorn because it was one of my favorite shrubs back when I lived in your relative neck 'o the woods, Sweden. There, it's called "sl�n" and I remember picking the berries, but we'd have to take them home and freeze them to remove their bitterness before they could be eaten. Anyways, that chapter brought forth a lovely little memento for me an addition of being a pleasurable read, as always. =)
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From ANON - LoveHopes on November 15, 2012
Where were you?! I was having withdrawals from the wonderfulness that is this story! I was so happy when I checked & saw that you had added another chapter, made me all giddy :) On a serious note though, I really love how you describe the bedroom scenes. You put in so much detail but you don't make it raunchy or sound like a bad porno/romance novel, I feel as if a proper lady were ever to write a love story this would be how. Once again I can not wait to see what happens & learn more about the two of them, who knows maybe he'll show another hidden talent other then being able to cook tasty nomz.
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From ANON - Anon on November 15, 2012
Another wonderful chapter, Azof's desire to constantly be around Jules is adorable and I hope his ailment wont always be a problem for him. Please update soon.
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From ANON - Anon on October 16, 2012
I love the latest chapter. I like how the ending of Sauron affected them in more than just they are no longer under his control. I'm exited to see more so please update soon.
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From ANON - HelenaMarkos on October 07, 2012
Oof, what a horrible revelation. I seriously felt awful for poor Azof (even though I was completely shocked by the previous chapter). Though, I imaging an orcish brain could think of all sorts of interesting things to do with a lady (besides eat her, of course) that I'm sure these two will work something out. And, who knows, maybe Jules will work a little magic on poor Azof.

Also, Jules! I love it :D It has a sort-of intimate ring to it, the way I imagine Azof saying it.

Looking forward to the next update! Your orc stories are so wonderful.
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From ANON - LoveHopes on October 04, 2012
Another fantastic chapter! Though I feel so sorry for poor Azof, what ever will he do? Oh well even without a working wanker he should be able to please a lady. I'll be sure to look that up on google while keeping an eye on this story ;)
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From ANON - LoveHopes on September 22, 2012
I love this story, sense finding it I've been trying to find more stories like it. Please update soon, I really want to know what happens to these wonderful characters.
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From ANON - AntiDolorifico on September 06, 2012
Two updates close together... this just makes me a very happy orc-fancier, you know. Last chapter was exciting. Azof's behaving like a right nutcase though, isn't he? I am curious to the reason why, and well... MOAR ORC SEX.

There's really so few good orc stories around, yours being the exception. Everyone fancies them prissy elves. Blah... =D
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From ANON - helena markos on August 19, 2012
I wonder how kindly Ray Winstone would take to being called orcish, but I'll admit, his character in that movie (tv show?) seems like a good comparison in this case.

I like Azof tremendously, though Julienne is taking quite a dangerous risk being alone in the countryside and letting an orc play peeping tom. She's fairly lucky that Azof is such a gentleman about it (or, at least, as gentlemanly as an orc will ever get). It's a strange mental back and forth she's playing with herself as well, but somehow completely believable. Really nicely done, though sometimes your asides of asides in the prose makes me a little dizzy.

Still, I am in awe of how your write Azof's speech pattern (obviously this comment is more relevant to the first two chapters). Every sentence he speaks must be mostly red squiggles, yet I understand him perfectly when I read it. That's a tricky bit of business and I'm always impressed when I see folks pull off a heavy accent like that in stories.

Oof. What a place to end a chapter! I find myself checking on this story every few weeks, just to see if an update had been made. I was so happy that it was, only to be left with a cliffhanger. :/ Still, life always takes precedent over fan fiction. As much as I would love to see quicker updates, your chapters are always so nicely done, and well worth the wait.
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From ANON - Sara on August 12, 2012
Nice! :D love the full blown plot. I read a scene from Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy that was a bit like your beginning. Were you inspired? Not sure about the short, bloated Ork but maybe the wrongness of it just adds to the attraction haha! I always liked the idea that LotR was written by the victors and the Orks were therefore unfairly portrayed as complete monsters, blackening everything they touch, when actually there's more to them than that.
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