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Reviews for Complications and Confusion

By : cathankitten
  • From Everdean on April 13, 2008
    i do hope you havnt abandoned this story for good as i really enjoy it. hope you update.
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  • From ANON - elfqueen2003 on July 06, 2005
    I'm glad someone told off Haldir. Maybe Glofindel and Elrond will set him straight please continue
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  • From ANON - Silverwolf on July 06, 2005
    This is an awsome fanfic. Pleeeeeeeeease update soon.
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  • From ANON - Ertia on July 02, 2005
    Oh, just wanted to add that you did very well at portraying the events that shaped Rumil as he is here, the abuse and rejection at the hands of his parents, trying to force him into something he was not. Very apt and very well done. :)
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  • From ANON - Ertia on July 02, 2005
    Hmmm.
    I'm not comfortable with this story, even though I read it straight through in one sitting, which says alot for the story being told.

    The major thing that bothers me is the consistent theme of abuse as punishment. I don't know what culture you come from, but I would think that Elves would have far better and more creative appropriate forms of punishment than a good beating. Telling someone you love them and then turning them over your knee? I'm glad that you are displaying Haldir as an abuser, finally, but I think that having such powerful Elves as Glorfindel and Galadriel resort to spanking a MarchWarden seems counter-productive.

    I also think the transition from Legolas being abused, trodden down, and using self-infliction as a coping mechanism, to his being a strong maternal in protection of Rumil is too fast. If he is that trodden down, I can't see him standing up to Haldir that way. It was too fast..too sudden.
    I'm interested to see where you are taking this story, and I'm with Tuxedo Elf in hoping that in the end your maternals will be seen as equals.

    One tiny suggestion: substitute "all right" when you want to say "okay". Okay as a word didn't enter venacular speech until the late 1800's and it's very hard to envision an elegant, ancient elf saying Okay.



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  • From ANON - Anna on July 02, 2005
    I like your story very much. It would be even better, if you reduce the spankings.
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  • From ANON - Lisn on June 20, 2005
    Wow this is so sad.... BUT I LUV IT!! Bring on the PAIN!!! Hmmm.... I'm really sick ain't I??
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  • From ANON - HHS on June 16, 2005
    That was not right of Haldir punishing a maternal who isn't even his.I hope that maternal's husband will bring Haldir down back to earth because I think that he's acting like an ass.A very big one.
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  • From ANON - Nightbreeze on June 13, 2005
    OMG I thought you'd never update!
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  • From ANON - HHS on June 13, 2005
    Well,I'm confused now on the last chapter that I have read.
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  • From angstyelves on June 13, 2005
    I must be honest and say that I think this needs a lot of work.

    While your plot has potential there are just too many inconsistencies. For example, you say that these 'maternal elves' are rare and special, but they are not treated as such. When Rúmil 'comes out' as it were, Haldir assures him of his love, yet as soon as he shows any sign of thinking for himself, he is only too happy to punish him, now that he is apparently 'inferior'. Rúmil’s reactions are the only 'realistic' ones in the whole story, in my opinion.

    As for the spanking, there really is far, far too much. Going back to my previous point, these elves are treated like no more than property, despite constantly being told they are loved. Not to mention that constant spankings cannot be healthy for either ‘mother’ or child.

    I sincerely hope that you plan for this to end with some kind of equality for the 'maternal elves' as their lives are currently rather pathetic, particularly Rúmil. But then he is my favourite, so I'm biased.

    You also need to look at your spelling and grammar and preferably get a beta as well. There were points where I had to read a sentence three times to make sense of what I was reading.

    Do not take all this the wrong way, I am simply trying to help. If I thought the story was completely beyond hope, I would not have commented.

    Tux

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  • From AvariNailo on March 26, 2005
    please up date
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  • From ANON - nightbreeze on March 26, 2005
    please up date
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  • From ANON - Carhuine Malthenel on August 31, 2004
    Love mpreg fics. they are so cool.
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  • From ANON - HHS on August 28, 2004
    What's with the corporal punishment?Now Elrohir's pregnant!?
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