Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Reviews for A Grand Adventure In Foreign Policy

By : jesuiscanadien

From ANON - annakas on December 18, 2006
Sorry for butting in but I do have one big bone to pick with concerning this story.

Why is is categorized in the male/male section of this archive? While I do understand this story has some male/male action but still it is mainly a hetero story in reality, and the little side dish of slash does not change the fact.

Even the male/male action involved the oc/mary-sue at points. So I as a slash reader don't appreaciate it when I am lied to and find hetero stories in a category that has the title of male/male on it.

When I visit the male/male section I expect to find fics that involve two male characters in a sexual relationship and not any females in sight (or very little of them and not as the focal point). Same goes if I go to female/female sections I don't want to see any males in the sex scences then, and in het section I don't expect to find slash exept if it is a threesome (like in this case) fic with f/f/m or m/m/f but still the story would in that case be still a hetero story.

That would be all from me. I admit I did not finish the story after I started but that was because I realised this story was not a slash story that I expected to find in the slash category and het stories just don't do it for me.

As a writer I wish you well and that you continue writing since there are people who like het, I am just not one of them.

So Please change this story from the male/male section in to under the male/female category where it belongs and I will have no complaints because then my expectations won't be cheatewd like they were this stime. The categories are there for a reason so that everyone could find what appeals to them the most.

annakas
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From ANON - Earwen on January 18, 2006
That was a wonderfully written story! I love how you never said 'Middle Earth' and called it Arda and also that you i did a very different pairing and plot compared to most other stories. No sending her off to fight the war, no marrying Legolas lol Good job! The language was done nicely and the whol Glorfindel getting to Earth was done in a very cool way.

This story was amazing and you should be very proud of yourself and your amazing talent.

Amazing piece of work!

Earwen

p.s i also love the fact that she's Canadian like me. Long live the Kanucks! lol

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From ANON - Earwen on January 17, 2006
Oh god thats too funny! (holds stomach as she laughs insanely) *deep breath* AHHH!!HAHAH! oh god! *wipes away tears* ah that was good! i love this story so much!

Earwen
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From ANON - Nicky on January 03, 2006
Well, that was an ending I was not expecting! It made a brilliant read! I find it hard to imagine a greying elf! - I know he was more 'humanitised' when Eru sent him to earth, buit somehow all I had in my mind was an attractive elf,now an old attractive elf!? A fantastic story, I enjoyed reading it!
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From ANON - Nicky on December 29, 2005
Another great chapter, I have probably said it already, but this is a great read. Her family kind of sounds like mine!! I like the way 'Finn' has fitted into society so well. Look forward to reading more...
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From ANON - Anon on December 16, 2005
Mary Sue from hell..
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From ANON - Nicky on December 14, 2005
Another fantastic chapter, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and found his explanation of how he fitted into life on 'earth'. Wonderful! I really enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading more! This really is a brilliant story! I look forward to the next update! Till then bye!
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From ANON - Nicola on November 26, 2005
Just finished reading this, and had intended to review each chapter, but got so engrossed in reading this, i completely forgot. It was as if i was seeing the whole story play out in front of me, as if I was watching the TV. What can i say except Wow! It is a fantastic story! I thoroughly enjoyed it! It had a mixture of everything in it, and I just loved the way you re-introduced 'Finn' into Karyn's world. Absolutely brilliant! You have a real talent for writing!
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From ANON - Cecilia on November 20, 2005
Your story keeps getting better and better everytime I read it. I want you to know that you are doing a great job and don't let anyone on here discourage you from continuing this story. I was very sad to see it gone from scribeoz, and I found it on another site as well as this one. I look forward to many updates and I hope you write more stories as well!!!

Keep up the excellent work!!!

P.S. Your next story can be about me, Elrohir, and Elladan. You don't have to say much, just say Chapter 1....Cecilia and the twins had hours and hours of great sex...the end....hehehe!!!!
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From ANON - Anna on October 27, 2005
Wow! I didn't know you had this story on this site. I've been reading it on FF.net, though I haven't read the latest two or three chapters. I apologize for not reviewing enough, but school has been brutal this semester. I have greatly enjoyed reading your story! It takes me into a whole other world, and I admit it's my escape from reality. While I was reading your story it reminded me of a song that I absolutely love. It's called "When you kiss me" by Shania Twain. I believe that it embodies Karyn and Glorfindel. I hope to catch up on what's going on this weekend. I was happy with the last chapter I read. Their wedding ceremony in Lorien was beautiful. That's when I thought of the song. Keep up the excellent work, and update soon!!!
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From ANON - Elf Kat on October 18, 2005
Okay - I see your point. As two of my favorites, I know I am very defensive of Elrohir and Elladan being portrayed in a way that I think is wrong. As you can imagine, slash with them and twincest drives me absolutely insane. You have a right to write them differently and I realize that, its just a frustration for me to see them in what I think of as a poor light. But once again, its just a sensitivity I have and it falls under "you can't please everyone".

As I said, everyone's OC is slightly Sue'ish. I just feel you need to tone yours down a bit. Most of the stories I enjoy have a slightly Sue'ish OC, its nearly impossible to write one that isn't. Even Tolkien wrote a major Sue in Luthien. But he's allowed!

I didn't log in to review because I have had writers respond with vindictive actions before on this site as well as other sites where I post for an honest concrit no matter how nicely I put it. I don't want someone to sic GAFF or Deletius on me because I didn't agree with their version of Glorfindel. I know this is chicken shit to some degree but I got tired of my ratings going down cause someone threw a temper tantrum over what I did trying to help them.
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From jesuiscanadien on October 15, 2005
Hi Elf Kat,

I'm sorry to have to post like this, but you weren't logged in and I can't locate you in order to respond to your words. I know that if you're not reading too closely, it sounds like she's being pursued by every Tom, Dick and Harry, but allow me to clarify these issues.

She thought she was in a hallucination when she shagged the twins. As soon as she found out Arda was real, she already really liked Glorfindel as a person, and refused the attentions of the twins. I modelled the twins off of the new Young Hollywood, as those who are good looking and popular, as the twins would be in Imladris, tend to take advantage of the situation and meet their libido's desires. Case in point, Charlie Sheen, Michael Rosenbaum(he's a playa in Vancouver), Johnny Depp before he settled down with Paradis, I could go on, but why bother? I felt that since Tolkien had written that elves enjoyed sex, why not compare it to something people can understand. Also, Boromir was bigoted against having a mortal women living in Imladris. He felt it was inappropriate for mortals to live with elves and vice versa. That is why he wanted the OFC to move to Minas Tirith. No other reason. Thranduil is not evil, he just doesn't feel mortals are equal to elves, and after the dwarvish debacle, who can blame him? Plus, I see him as being a bit proprietary. The OFC had knowledge he wanted, and so he tried to take it. Considering mortal women were not equal to mortal men in that society, and Thranduil didn't think mortal men were all that worthy of the elves, he felt he could take legal custody of chattel(the OFC) and be within rights. He was just misguided, as the OFC states. And if anyone should think that Haldir was interested, I pointed out that he was only curious as to why an elf would bond to a mortal, and Glorfindel/the OFC pointed out the fea bond. The OFC didn't have sex with Glorfindel the entire time of their courtship and only started when they had bonded.

The OFC is not supernaturally gifted. Being an empath and sensing things is quite common amongst the regular population. Most people just don't mention it, or they don't realize they're picking up on more than surface stuff when they 'know things'. I call it being of the 'wiggy', for good reason. As most people wig out when they figure out you've got the goods on them.

I made the OFC 36 as I wanted to see a story about someone who had seen life, been to hell and back and gotten frequent flier miles, and had made some discoveries about themselves. I've found that people in their mid-thirties don't sweat a lot of stuff, but they can still screw up. It's all a part of living and learning. My mid-thirties were rough, but so were my twenties and my teens. I know I'm a lot calmer than people a decade or two younger than me, and I wanted to see people who didn't freak out over everything to be represented.

I realize my OFC may be a bit Sueish, but then I felt if I wrote a character who wasn't of a similar mindset to me, I would've written her a wee bit flat. I notice the world around me, and I want to help make it better. Of course this means I work for a non-profit charity, but not everyone's gonna be into that. I have studied Eastern Religions extensively in college, and I wanted to bring those ideas forward and maybe introduce them to an audience who may not be familiar with them. I have drawn parallels between the modern world and Arda in my story because I want to not just tell a romance, but show people their world through different eyes.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. It was rational and thought out, which I must say is why the previous review was deleted. When I have taken writing classes, all the rules for constructive critisism were the same. Say what you liked, why and give examples, and then say what you didn't like, why and give examples. I find that specifics, where the critic has been thoughtful in their analysis and given careful and realistic reactions to the work, is the most helpful. It can guide a writer and while a writer should never write the story simply due to a review reaction, they should use the critique in good faith to help them with any story issues that can crop up.

Sincerely,
Jesuiscanadien
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From ANON - Elf Kat on October 13, 2005
I don't know what the previous reviewer said but I assume it was bad due to the GAFF and Deletius references. I would never say that someone deserved to be shredded by either of those two groups. They do nothing for fan fiction but drag it through the gutter.

I will say I did have problems with this story being a little over the top. Your OC was just too desired by every male she came in contact with. That is such an annoying quality to a story to me. It ruins the best writing. And the thing about the twins just drove me insane. I hate it when people make them out to be scum buckets. They were a couple of thousand year old elves that were serious and noble warriors and you have written them like 20 yr old sluts. Of course abusive Thranduil is what caused me to stop reading. Read the books again and see how beautiful the elves are. They can be sensual without being slutty or agressive without being abusive. If you can, read the Silmarillion. Anyone writing Glorfindel should read it as well as Unfinished Tales.

Everyone's first story is rough so don't get discouraged. Eventually you will catch yourself doing the annoying things in time to stop them. My first story was a huge Mary Sue and every story since then has gone away from Sue. I don't think its possible to write a complete non-Sue but its possible to write one thats mostly not a Sue.
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From ANON - Jillian H. on October 07, 2005
*throws two cents in*

I haven't read all of the story yet, but what I have read has been good. : ) I usually read reviews before I read a story, just to get a feeling for the story, and to see what other readers have thought of the story. I have to say that as soon as the first reviewer mentioned GAFF and Deletrius, I pretty much took the review with a grain of salt - why bother reading the rest, when I knew where it was heading, and I knew what kind of review it would be. No offense, reviewer. You are, of course, entited to your opinion - but I, personally, don't believe in flaming. Constructive criticism is one thing...telling someone that their story is worthy of flaming, is another.

So, I'm off to read the rest. So far I have enjoyed your story very much, and I can't wait to read the rest. I love well written smut and this looks very promising. So, I say, bring on the smut! This IS AFF, after all. : )

J.H.
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