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Reviews for Orc in Ithilien

By : kspence

From ANON - The Lauderdale on August 10, 2014
As to this final chapter, I was genuinely stunned by how short it was when I read it, and how well, in view of that fact, it actually works to pull everything to a close. "Captain of Mordor" came with what we could have taken as a happy ending. This is the sequel that takes that happy ending and wrings it out, with much airing of old laundry and staring the awkward and ugly in the face, and any number of other metaphors that I could employ but won't.

On the face of it, some might say that Faramir and Shagrat's relationship is on shakier footing now than it was at the start of the tale, with the two of them apart as they are, but the fact of it is, it wasn't a very egalitarian relationship to start with, with all of the power (political, emotional, even physical with Shagrat being not all that well yet) on Faramir's side. Now Shagrat has a territory and a people in his own right; he's had it out some with Faramir, and he has a staunch advocate in the firm of Ludlow. Ludlow's protectiveness toward Shagrat and less-than-impressedness with Faramir have been well established in previous chapters, and it was charming that Ludlow should be the one to see Faramir coming, and to go wake Shagrat up.

Last words made the perfect ending. "Your boyfriend�s back!� Because even with all that's gone on, they *are* boyfriends, or at least they're working on it, and I couldn't want things to be otherwise.
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on August 10, 2014
Read these last two chapters some months back, but I wasn't really reviewing anybody's stories at the time (in fact I was barely reading anyone's stuff at all, so hopefully that is at least somewhat flattering!) I have come back to rectify this now. I'll start with this line, because I've always enjoyed your gift for a wry turn of phrase: "After the excitement surrounding the impromptu exorcism of lieutenant Dargaz had worn off..." A hook of a sentence if ever there was one.

You were right sneaky with that Warg of Shagrat's. I did a little checking on a couple of scenes that came to mind, and the animal has been "it" all along, hasn't it? Goes to show how one (well, how I, at any rate) will make assumptions based on nothing much at all, really. I mean, really. At least Ludlow can claim to have been making "a perfectly reasonable assumption, based on appearances." I was just defaulting to all neuter pronouns presumed male, or some such nonsense. Anyway. It was great to find you slipping in another allusion to hyenas and their physiognomy. You know, a new litter of Wargs is not a bad thing for this new little Orkish community. While I know that they are under Faramir's protection, they still don't have the friendliest of neighbors. They need all the allies they can get. Although it begs the question of when and where the conception occurred, and the nature and whereabouts of the father. Another Warg, or can Wargs breed with regular wolves, I wonder? By movie-verse standards - and your Wargs DO have that hyena quality going on - they seem very much a separate species.

I can't help feeling that something is missing between these two lines:

[Shagrat drew a long breath in through his nose, shrugging.

The Uruk regarded him sidelong for a time. �You know,� he began, �I�m not sure if you�ve noticed this either, but that Melek�s a fine-looking girl.�]

Partly because the break is there anyway, so rhythmically it feels like Ludlow should do something there, and one does rather wonder what Ludlow is doing during that brief timespan. (Blushing and trying not to look at Warg's pseudo phallus, I imagine.) I did very much like Shagrat's reveal about Melek, not least because of his realization that Ludlow needs it spelled out in the first place. How well he has come to know his hobbit friend. 8) The fact that Ludlow seems fairly open to the notion of something more with Melek ("I�m sure a nice girl like Melek would never � well! I�d certainly want for us to get to know one other better...") is interesting. As he says, one has one's preferences and he's on the straighter end of the stick, but it made me wonder if he didn't already like Melek a little.

Misunderstanding at the front of the chapter aside, I love the fact that Ludlow wants to share a bed with Shagrat, and to go on sharing a bed with Shagrat, in a spirit of pure hobbity companionship. It's very Ludlow and, as such, both genial and sweet.
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on February 24, 2013
"So I'm back after my long silence without any excuses or apologies, just to pick up Chapter 23 and review it."

Er, that sounded like it could be taken for snide, and it isn't meant that way at all - what I meant was that I wouldn't take up time in front of the review-proper by going over all that. I also owe you some feedback for "Azof and the Farmer's Wife" as well, which I have been enjoying immensely.
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on February 24, 2013
So I'm back after my long silence without any excuses or apologies, just to pick up Chapter 23 and review it. I think I've read it several times since you originally posted it and NOT reviewed, but today I went back to somewhere around Chapter 15 and reread from there, so that I would be able to actually think and write intelligently about it in the context of the larger story. Wrote up some notes that I plan to assemble into a comprehensible review:

shift between the two chapters / Dargaz's personality / Shagrat's old injury / hey, what ABOUT Frodo, anyway? / Earlier instructions / "snap of bone" / gentleness with dargaz / LOL Azof cannibalism

Now we both get to find out what they mean.

By "shift" I mean, of course, that the focus immediately before this chapter was very much on Shagrat and Faramir, with a focus of several chapters' duration on an odd but nonetheless bizarrely in-character Cinderella episode, complete with carriage and strange fairy godmother (Ludlow) and ballroom garb (not gown) and shenanigans at midnight.

This chapter does a 180. Faramir is nowhere to be seen, Shagrat's relationship with him is NOT at the forefront, and indeed, barring a reference to "the Uruk�s most recent parting with Faramir, which was notable for its toe-curling awkwardness all round," Faramir's name is not even mentioned. This was disconcerting the first time I read the chapter because it felt like such an absolute break, especially after they'd had a rather touching, albeit characteristically clumsy and inappropriate, reconciliation just before.

I've thought about this, and I think it is now that I can kind of see what is going on. Aside from the obvious fact that Shagrat needs to get his bearings and get his little settlement of Orcs (and one hobbit) on the road to being settled, he has this blast from the past with an old tormenter. One who, in a very very weird and monstrously inappropriate way, could almost be describe as an old "ex."

The Nazgul meddled with Shagrat emotionally and sexually. Aside from rape and molestation and the appalling things it did to his body, it horribly tarnished his memories of Faramir. Messed him up so badly that, quite aside from Faramir's own less than stellar performance at points during their long acquaintance, even the good bits were just overlain with Wraith-filth. So this is an exorcism that helps more than Shagrat or Dargaz or the larger community of Orcs in Shagrat's settlement. It's also more than a particularly entertaining piece of revenge (literally pissing on one of the Big Bosses.) It is palliative care for Shagrat's relationship with Faramir, and perhaps a chance to reclaim some of those old memories. Remember the good bits again, not just the horrid ones. Or I'd like to think so, anyway.

Since the story isn't over yet but an ending is supposed to be in sight, I do hope we'll get to see Faramir again before it closes out.

What were those notes again? "Dargaz's personality." Yeah, Dargaz is quite a vivid little character, for all that we are meeting him for the first time in this chapter. I have to imagine he's someone who wants a leader anyway (being the one the blade called to so strongly in the first place), and I suspect he's going to be a bit of a pain for poor Shagrat in the future, Shagrat filling the vacuum left by Sauron and (mostly lately) the wicked Morgul blade. Shagrat also showed him a real kindness, though, even gentleness (it being a "relatively gentle kick," after all) and I have to think that constitutes some claim on Dargaz's loyalty.

I do also like the fact that Dargaz has a loyal contingent in his own right though, what with the way Melek and the other archers stick up for him and converge to take care of him afterward. And I like wheezy-voiced Melek too.

The responsiveness of Shagrat's old injury calls up memories of Frodo's own famous injury at Weathertop. Interesting, because of course Frodo was stabbed by the Witch King and Shagrat was...NOT stabbed by the lesser Nazgul who tormented him, but in fact "healed" by the nasty thing after being stabbed by troll, with evident lasting consequences. I thought that made for a nice piece of resonance, but it also made me wonder - very much outside the present scope of your story - whether you ever actually would write about Shagrat's encounter with Frodo (the discovery, the searching, the interrogation, etc.), and what he may or may not have thought during it or even thought of Frodo, and/or the fight with Gorbag. Which I do not doubt was instigated by Gorbag, since even in Tolkien's writing Shagrat is very intent on playing by the book and trying not to end up dead or in trouble, to the point that even when he's injured very badly as he is when Sam sees him, he still "sees his mission through" by taking Frodo's belongings to the people that they need to get to.

Your stories give a fairly good explanation for both the canonical Shagrat's restraint and his diligence. If I were Shagrat, after all of that business, I would NEVER want to get on the bad side of a Nazgul again.

Anyway. Just something I wondered, since it is Shagrat's chief role of significance in Tolkien's narrative: the place and events from which his character springs in the first place. Possibly to be avoided for that very reason, I don't know. But I wondered.

"As Dargaz drew his knife, the Orcs closest by immediately began backing swiftly away and of Shagrat�s company only Rukush recalled his earlier instructions. Stepping in, he lifted Ludlow off his feet, tucked the Hobbit under one arm and took him with him." I couldn't recall what those earlier instructions were, though I went looking a bit. Were they regarding Ludlow, or were they more general?

"He felt a quick twist then a snap of bone, and shrieked out once through his teeth." Good lord. So parsing this, the implication is that Dargaz, or at any rate the Nazgul possessing him, is able to actually snap a bone in Shagrat's wrist with the power of thought alone?

As for "LOL Azof cannibalism," I don't think that really requires explanation.
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From ANON - Anon on November 11, 2012
I'm so excited that there is a new chapter!
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From ANON - materia on June 06, 2012
So I've read all 22 chapters over, and while I think you're an amazing writer and have very tactfully adapted your characters to the lore of LOTR, I wanted to make a suggestion to improve one of them; Ludlow. He has played a very active role in propelling the story of Shagrat and Faramir, and I think you should reference him at some point in the last chapter, demonstrating that he has been inspired after rekindling the man and the orc's love, and so he is readying himself to find his own - maybe by going on a diet. I really think you should do something along the lines of that, because previously it seemed the hobbit's pudginess was fate's only safeguard keeping Shagrat and Ludlow from having their own encounter at some point (they were really looking out for each other, it seems unnatural that there would be no sexual tension between the two)

Aside from that all the violence and animal cruelty didn't do much for me, I think the story would be better without that too. Ironically so would Ludlow's chin!
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on April 02, 2011
Awww...you have no idea how happy I was to see this chapter. I wanted to call it "Lover Came Back."

(As an aside, who *was* the fellow with the shiny hair? Some child or grandchild of Imrahil? And if you actually mentioned who in the story, I am going to feel embarrassed.)

The sex was appreciated - that characteristic mix of the clumsy and the erotic - and I loved the detail with the firesteel and flint. This business of keeping tokens seems very much in character for Faramir (If I wanted to be nitpicky, it would be nice to have a reference to Faramir touching the flint at an earlier point or points, but I'm guessing this is a detail that came to you later.)

Of course it can never be, but I can't even imagine how Denethor would have reacted to Faramir's dalliance with an Uruk. We get Eowyn's reaction, of course, and that of the other human-type folk in Faramir's life, but Denethor? I suppose his rage would have been incandescent.

A new sort of cruelty, because now I am left madly wanting the next chapter.
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From ANON - Moniquill on April 01, 2011
I just wanted you to know that I am squeefully happy every time your update this.
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on April 09, 2010
Still coming back to this story, still quoting it at the unbelievers. P) Hope to see it updated again, but even as it is it gives me joy. Give my regards to Shagrat!
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on November 07, 2009
I've been in an Orkish mode and rereading a few chapters of Captain of Mordor, so I thought I'd pay my respects, as it were. Oh, and remark on the funny way adultfanfictiondotnet has of slipping errors into people's texts. Because I've read your work, as hosted on other sites as well, so I know that some of those funny goofs weren't there before. Plus I've seen the same in nearly every other story I've read on this site. Do not know what is up with that.

Anyhow, hope you are well and that Shagrat and Faramir are still carrying on with one another in a civil fashion.
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From ANON - fnog on September 30, 2009
God, how I love you.

I'm so happy you're still doing this. I can't remember when I first stumbled upon your writings, maybe two years ago (but I'm guessing) and I've rediscovered it once, but now I had once more forgotten where i was in the story (chapter 18 this time, it seems), and so, I re(-re)-read it all (Captain of Mordor and onward) and I squirm and giggle and hide and sweat and shout at the screen until late turn to early and it's the best I've ever read, every time I read it.

And now, I thought this was the last chapter and didn't know what to do with myself, but it seems... I'm going to rediscover this again. I should mark it in my calendar, perhaps... Two months from now? Four? Of course it feels slightly frustrating now for me, but you needn't rush, at all. I know I'll be just as happy next time I read this (and I get really happy, but I can't seem to properly get my feelings across, alas).

More praise, more praise, I have it: You are inspiring, for you write them so FLESHY, you trick my mind into believing they exist, they really turn into real people (punch- and scratch- and shake-until-brain-turns-to-slush-worthy real people may be in all their silliness). And so, I feel I shuldn't to less while drawing, and I try to make my creations less predictable, give them layers and a life beyond just that one picture.

I can tell this is a jolty review, but it's the best I can do, and it's heartfelt :) Thank you for deciding to write, that glorious, beautiful day (which shall go down in memory and all) and I hope you'll be back, stronger and more fearsome and shiny than ever, with chapter 22, which will send the enemy screeching and hiding under their satin bed sheets.

Cheers!

(Now, start counting parentheses)
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From ANON - The Lauderdale on May 15, 2009
"He moved much closer till he was leaning against Faramir, and resting his chin on his shoulder began huffing hot gusts of damp breath pleasantly into his ear. It was a bit, Faramir thought, feeling overwhelmed generally, like being accosted by a friendly pet horse."

I really liked this bit. And Faramir referencing the iron codpiece from "Captain of Mordor" - always loved that detail.) And Faramir's rheumatism! A nice reminder to the readers, like Shagrat, that Faramir isn't that wide-eyed 19-year-old anymor. And the end bit:

'Shagrat glanced at him warily. �I don�t think so, Goldilocks,� he muttered. �My cock�s been in your mouth exactly twice, and you�ve tried to kill me afterwards both times.�
...�It was just an unforunate � an extremely unfortunate combination of recurring bad circumstances. The odds have always been stacked against us, Shagrat,� he said. �You know that.�
But still the Orc seemed unconvinced.'

When you put it that way, I'm not sure I would be convinced either! Made me laugh, though.

So I'm coming away from a 3-chapter-fix of "Orc in Ithilien," feeling upbeat and hopeful of more. Guess I'll go track down that Grond fic you mentioned as well.
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From ANON - thelauderdale on May 15, 2009
�My goodness Shagrat!� he exclaimed. �Has someone been trying to braid your hair?�
That had me laughing, as did the dramatic exit. Really quite fun. I wish I had a name for the fellow who was trying to get in with Faramir, and I was a little surprised that people weren't more alarmed by the appearance of an Uruk at their festivities, even one as...grand...as Shagrat in his fabulous ensemble. Though it's been some time now since the war and people have heard about Faramir granting clemency to the Orcs, so I guess an old terror of monsters has been commuted into a contempt for barbarians. It's a sea change into something rich and strange.

I'd like to know what they think these doings in Gondor. At the least, I imagine King Aragorn's eyebrows jumped into his hair.
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From ANON - thelauderdale on May 15, 2009
Oh for crying out loud! I just happened to check in this evening and saw that you've come up with three new chapters since last I was here. Just finished 19 to see that Shagrat is getting framed as Cinderella, completely with strange fairy godperson, gaudy carriage and ball! This is just about the craziest...and most ingenious...twist I've seen in a while. And a nice bit of a parallel job, when I think back on "Captain of Mordor, where Shagrat himself draws an implicit comparison with sleeping princess stories like "Snow White" or "Sleeping Beauty."

Fun!
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From Moniquill on April 10, 2009
Thank you so much for continuing this! I know my commentary's fairly repetitive, but this story is so amazing that it rather reduces me to squeeing fangirl levels. Much love!
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