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Reviews for Haldir's Heart

By : Wraith
  • From ANON - RavensWing14337 on June 05, 2005
    How can you expect others to take your work seriously, if you don't? If you don't take the time to proofread and check for spelling and grammar why should anyone be bothered to read it? I've never seen so many obvious errors in a single document. There's little or no continuity to the story, you start conversations with characters as though you've given us some background that led up to that conversation, you didn't. The spelling is awful, I've never seen someone spell "talan" three different ways in the same story. According to you its "talen", "talon" and "talan"....proofread! Learn how to spell the names of the characters, and the locations including using the special font characters. There are sections of your story where the endings of conversations are missing. The believability factor for this story is non-existant. You tell us the child looks to be six years old, later the child tells us she's four, fine...but then you tell us she's been nailed to a tree by her hands, major wounds there, but you have the adults who are tending to her leave her after they have "treated" her wounds to dress herself. What happened to the wounds on those tiny little hands? According to you she "has lot of wounds, they are bad, but they will heal"....You have Haldir "striding" off without her, leaving this injured 4 year old to follow in his wake. How realistic is that? Not to mention the fact that you're talking about an elf, not a human. An elf of only 4 years would still be the approximate size and weight of a 1 year old human. You cannot mix the two timeframes. If she's the size of a 4 or 6 year old human that makes her somewhere around 20 or 22 years old. There are many, many more errors in grammar, continuity, spelling, punctuation etc. You started off with what promised to be a good story, but you took no pride in your work and the result is a sloppily written fic that needs MAJOR revisions. Get yourself a Beta, and not some online nitwit who "just loves everything you write" and has no constructive imput for your work, or the expertise to find and correct your errors.
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