schedule
November 10, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This was a lovely story; you have improved increadibly from the first one or two I read from you.
Giving the characters depth fleshed out the plot nicely. I felt like I was actually reading a y
ay
as opposed to turning on the TV for 5 mins. in the middle of a lousy mini-series. If you continue
to improve at this rate I am sure you will turn into one of my favorite writers here on AFF. I feel
almost like asking you to ditch 'Butter' and 'Dark (something)'; the one between Boromir and
Faramir, they stank.
I liked the way you set a contrast between the Prince Elphir and his sister. The visual description
of their outfits truely mirrored how they felt about life. Although as soon as I read the Prince's
name "Elf-ear", it was obvious that he was going to be gay and involved with an Elf. A different
name would have held that plot twist in a little more suspense. Keep up the good work!
Giving the characters depth fleshed out the plot nicely. I felt like I was actually reading a y
ay
as opposed to turning on the TV for 5 mins. in the middle of a lousy mini-series. If you continue
to improve at this rate I am sure you will turn into one of my favorite writers here on AFF. I feel
almost like asking you to ditch 'Butter' and 'Dark (something)'; the one between Boromir and
Faramir, they stank.
I liked the way you set a contrast between the Prince Elphir and his sister. The visual description
of their outfits truely mirrored how they felt about life. Although as soon as I read the Prince's
name "Elf-ear", it was obvious that he was going to be gay and involved with an Elf. A different
name would have held that plot twist in a little more suspense. Keep up the good work!