schedule
June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great so far! please continue!
schedule
June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey... I'll be honest, OK? I really, ReAlLy like the idea, but it's a tad bit difficult to follow. Your comma placement is off; ...'That is a truly lovely name for a truly lovely young lady. Would you like to go home Lorelie?' *There should be a comma between home & Lorelie: "home, Lorelie"
And the Elf-nicknames are overused; don't do that, ok, dear? No Hal, 'Ro, 'Dan (Elrohir, Elladan) Or Leggy or Lego... *ahem* Was going off a bit; apologies. Get aquainted with the semicolon ;;;;;;; it is your friend. I like the story, but you should consider a Beta. One last thing: being somewhat of a Tolkien scholar, this always bothers me: you should AlWaYs capitalize the names of Races, i.e. orcs, Hobbits, Men, Elves. As I said, work on your style a bit and find a beta. My email is MailOrderBeta@Yahoo.com.
And the Elf-nicknames are overused; don't do that, ok, dear? No Hal, 'Ro, 'Dan (Elrohir, Elladan) Or Leggy or Lego... *ahem* Was going off a bit; apologies. Get aquainted with the semicolon ;;;;;;; it is your friend. I like the story, but you should consider a Beta. One last thing: being somewhat of a Tolkien scholar, this always bothers me: you should AlWaYs capitalize the names of Races, i.e. orcs, Hobbits, Men, Elves. As I said, work on your style a bit and find a beta. My email is MailOrderBeta@Yahoo.com.