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Elf Resort	By : LisaC206 Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3358 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N- All of Middle Earth and it's characters belong to Tolkien, I am just borrowing them for a little while.

1.

“All check ins for the Elf Resort, over here,” came the voice over the intercom.” Have your I.D. card and Sindarin dictionary ready.”

Nicky couldn’t quite believe it- she spun round and round, trying to take it all in. “Elf Resort- where on earth did that come from?”

Middle Earth Lodge was impressive indeed. The reception area was a huge hall, very rustic and ornate. The carved beams on the ceiling, which were incredibly high, were flamboyant to say the least. Elves dressed in varying amounts of attire, rushed past her, the air alive and magical about them.

The voice was back. “All check ins for Dwarf Delving at the end of the hall please. I.D and false beards ready.” Nicky heard a slight cough and a snort through the speaker. Lots of grunting and shoving as a group of dwarves or dwarf- like persons pushed past her, knocking each other over in their haste to get there first.

Nicky giggled, they did look comical with all their heavy armour, trying to run.“Wait till I tell my friends about this place! Kelly’s never going to believe me- she always said I had a wicked imagination- but this is priceless.” Just then a group of cute and rather chubby little hobbits bumped into her, apologizing and laughing as they chatted excitedly. They all headed to ‘Down the Hobbit Hole’. Smiling, she thought that would be a fun place to stay, lots of drinking, dancing and socializing. Nicky decided she would feel right at home there- no perfect elves around to make you feel inferior and clumsy. No pushy, greedy dwarves who had the most disgusting eating habits- just good, clean, fun hobbits, and lots of food!

She rushed after the hobbits, banging into other Middle Earth peoples as she went. Lining up at ‘Down the Hobbits Hole’ behind the others, for once in her life she felt tall and slim. Nicky looked at the ‘Elf Resort’ line, there were plenty of teens lined up hoping for a glimpse of the elves. Several other elves were milling around the hall.“Would you look at those elves...?” Nicky said aloud. “ They’re something else aren’t they?”

One of the hobbits piped up beside her. “‘Tis for the ‘elite’ that place, all them fine elven folks, they pretty an’ all, but we have the best parties!” His jolly face beamed up at her.

“I bet you do, and I’m all for parties…” Nicky’s voice trailed off as deafening screams started over at the ER.

Then she saw ‘him’ and wolf whistled loud and clear as the hottest looking elf she had seen so far, strode by. Now she had everyone’s attention, including the elf’s. He turned and looked at her, his eyes burning into her soul for the longest second of her life. Then he smiled at her and turned away- heading for the Resort. Security rushed up on all sides of him and cleared a way through the crazed fan girls.

“Miss…miss…what’s your name?” the hobbit pulled on her sleeve, “ Are you coming with us now? We’ve decided to have a party in your honor.”

Nicky hardly heard him. Her heart was turning flips and her whole body had gone into meltdown. “ Whaaaat…. oh sorry, I didn’t hear you.” God, I’ve gone deaf, dumb but certainly not blind- that was too much. The hobbit repeated his question.

“My name’s Nicky…Party? In my honor… you sure?” Her eyes were still glued to the Elf Resort as she watched ‘perfection’ disappear from her life. “Ahh…I…I may have to visit the ER instead, sorry guys.” Nicky’s heart finally stopped hammering on her chest, like it was trying to get out and she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. “Ok guys, may need a cold shower though.” She giggled.

“Shower? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, bath- you know, cool myself down.” ‘Bloody impossible after that’ she thought.

They looked at her like she was mad. If only Kelly was with her. She needed some home comfort- they could have such a laugh here. Now they were at the door of ‘Down the Hobbit Hole’ and after a last glance at ER, she handed her I.D over and stepped in. She found herself in a huge dining hall with plenty of chairs and more food than she could ever have imagined. The hobbits, she decided, were not unlike her younger brother Davey. Always running, falling, laughing and eating- oh, and slightly annoying, but very cute. The drinking and smoking were their only differences- and did they like to do both! The long tables were packed with the most delicious foods- pastries, fruits, meats, puddings, everything you could ever want. “ Ok, I could really make a pig of myself here, and no one would even notice.” There was wine, ale and some vile looking brown liquid- “Middle Earth Special” apparently. Nicky sniffed it her nose wrinkling at the scent. “Hell, smells like rotting leaves and dirt.” She gagged.

“Shhh…” said hobbit no.1. “It’s a special brew made by the elves, for those romantic encounters you might have in a place like this.” His eyebrows wiggled at her encouragingly. He looked so funny, Nicky burst out laughing. Hobbit no.2 plopped a huge glass of ale before her, sploshing it on the table.

“Those elves are strange beings for sure, but they know their brews and for that we are thankful just the same. Try some, you might need it later.”

Nicky didn’t think so- ‘not in your wildest dreams, sunshine. Ok, hobbits are cute, but they just don’t pop my cork.’ Vague thoughts of her little brother, came to mind. But them elves…they’re a different matter altogether. Hey, and what of Middle Earth Men? Nicky hadn’t noticed a door for them. “Is there a place for the Men folk of Middle Earth?” She turned to hobbit no.2.

“Why yes of course- ‘tis called ‘Man Hunting’, didn’t you see it?”

Nicky shook her head. ‘Man Hunting’, this place is crazy-‘ make mental note to check out that one’ She drank along with her newfound friends, laughing at their jokes and their funny antics. Such happy wee folk she concluded. Hobbit no.1 was really relaxing now, he was smoking some pipe weed and the sweet smell reminded Nicky of the joint she had left in her bedroom- half smoked. ‘Jeeze, hope Mum doesn’t find it’ Hobbit no.1 was offering her the pipe now, which she gratefully accepted. It tasted sweet like honey with a hint of spices and was not too bad on her throat. Nicky started feeling just fine, the ale making her head spin. ‘Oh, I like these hobbits’. She grabbed a pastry stuffed with apricots and custard, biting into the delectable sweetness.

The more she smoked, the more she ate, and the more she ate, the more she drank. She even joined in the popular jig on the table top as was customary. Singing as loud as she could, her face rosy with heat and her throat becoming hoarse. Finally the song ended, and Nicky and the other hobbits sank back down in their seats, laughing and spilling their drinks. Her body felt heavy and in dire need of some rest. Hobbit no.1 pointed hopefully to the elven brew but she shook her head, laughing. A hobbit lass cleaning tables came to her aid. “Come with me, you need to rest awhile- there will be plenty more parties.” She took Nicky through to a hallway, with candles lighting the walls. The first round door she opened, two hobbits were laughing and smoking in there and yelled at them to go away. She flung open the second door and all was quiet. Nicky fell on the bed gratefully and passed into a deep slumber.



*****

*The elf stood there smiling at her and holding out his hand. “I’m coming,” she called to him, as he swept her up in his strong arms, Nicky smiled at the hobbits. He spun her around and around…thrusting her over his shoulder, his powerful arms gripping her tightly…his long, red, wiry hair hanging far down his back…hang on, that didn’t sound right! Nicky looked down, she was nearly touching the floor with her head and a grunting dwarf was running towards Dwarf Delving with her.

“Noooo…” She wailed. *

Nicky awoke, the sweat pouring off her. “Oh shit, thank god that wasn’t real.” Not that she hated dwarves, understand…but she did not wish to be carried off by one so he could perhaps initiate her into dwarven ways of lovemaking…eewww- perish the thought! Her lips felt dry and sticky… her tongue had practically cemented itself to the roof of her mouth. She wasn’t sure what time of the day or night it was and on opening the curtains, the sunlight came streaming in. Screwing up her face against the onslaught to her frazzled brain, Nicky peeked outside. The gardens were alive with butterflies and insects and huge sunflowers nodded their heads in the slight breeze.

“Awesome, I’m outta here.” Stumbling to the door, holding her sore stomach, she yanked it open and looked out. In the hallway, she spun left, then right. Which way? The hall she had come from the night before, was to her right. On her left were more doors. She chose the left and wandered along- it wound round several more times,ending with an open door to the garden. Nicky looked around- nobody. ‘Can’t be here all alone, there were heaps of hobbits last night.’ She heard someone whistling. “Hey, excuse me, where is everyone today?” The whistling stopped and only the bees buzzing in the heat, could she hear. “Man, where did everyone go? This is some weird place alright.”

“Who are you looking for?” A voice from behind the rosebush spoke up.

“Anyone really. They seem to have all disappeared.” A hobbit with a fair crop of hair and a sweet face peeked out at her. He was holding a pair of secateurs and appeared to be pruning the bushes. “Hi, who are you?” Nicky moved closer to the rosebush.

“I’m Samwise Gamgee, Miss…begging your pardon?”

“Nicky. Hey nice to meet you Samwise. Frodo’s gardener, gee.” Wow! Wait till I tell Kelly this…she’s gonna flip.

“Why yes miss, how’d you know?”

“Oh… just a little story I read.” He seemed pleased she had heard of him. “Where is Frodo?”

“You know… Mister Frodo? I suspect he’s busy helping his Uncle Bilbo tidy up today.”

“Really?” Bilbo- double wow! “I wonder if I could meet him- would you take me to see the two of them?”

“Well us hobbits love meeting people, and I’m sure he’d like to meet you, Miss Nicky. He’ll be at the ‘Green Dragon’ tonight- maybe we’ll see you there.”

“I’d love that Samwise, will Rosie be going?” Sam blushed.

“She works there Miss Nicky, so I suppose she would be at that.”

“You make sure you have that dance with her then and tell her how you really feel about her.”

Sam was stunned; he forgot his usual manners and disappeared very quickly down the path- out of sight.

“Strange the way he left, would like to have chatted more.”

*****



Far to her left, Nicky heard some beautiful music floating through the air, softer than light rain and so gentle on the frazzled mind. Following it, she arrived at a huge stonewall at the end of the garden. The music and laughter continued, but she could not see. Bending down, she looked for a gap, a hole, anything in the solid wall. The voices were making her crazy- the language they spoke, made no sense at all, but she knew it to be elvish. It made her head tingle and probed her body’s senses, tuning out most other sensations.

“And…WHO… are… YOU?” The voice came from above and scared the shit out of her. Perched up high on another wall- well more of an archway, was a hobbit… two in fact, eating and smoking a pipe.

“Jeeze…you gave me a fright. I’m Nicky, who are you?” She squinted up in the bright light, shading her eyes for a better look.

“I’m Pippin and this fine looking fellow, is Merry.”

“You’re joking?”

“Why would we want to do that, Miss Nicky?” Merry handed Pippin a muffin and Pippin handed Merry the pipe. They nudged each other and laughed.

“Can I get up there with you?” Nicky asked. This was too good to be true. “I really want to see over this wall.”

Pippin pointed to the end of the arch, “Try climbing up there, plenty of foot holes you know.”

In less that a minute, Nicky had reached the two hobbits and had a great view of the gardens next door.

“Make yourself comfortable, Miss Nicky.” Said Merry- he patted the stone beside him, hoping she would sit there.

“Thanks, but I need a look over that wall…if I could just squeeze past you both…”

“Steady on, you’re not one for manners are you lass?” Pippin commented.

Nicky was already in a prime spot at the edge where the archway met the solid wall. She lay down flat, not wanting to be seen, and looked over. The sight before her was incredible. There were huge trees, with long, drooping boughs, practically dangling in the massive pond in the centre of the garden. The fountain rose out of the middle, water spouting forth like some great whale as it cascaded elegantly back into the pond. And everywhere she looked, Nicky saw them… Elves…too lovely to dream of! Elves eating, elves walking, singing and doing each other’s hair! Oh this was something else. “I really need Kelly here, she told me all about them but I never believed her. Shit, shit, shit! I should have listened to her, she’s right, they’re incredible to watch.”

Merry and Pippin leaned closer to hear what she was saying.

“You know what she’s on about Merry?”

“Think she might be looking for one of them elven folks next door Pip.”

“Who Merry?”

“Dunno. Let’s ask her.”

Both together, “Who are you looking for?” Nicky completely ignored the question.

“Shhh…that singing. I want to hear more. What are they singing?”

“Miss Nicky…” Pippin called. Merry blew a smoke ring around her head and she waved it away.’

“I don’t smoke anymore…well that’s not entirely true, I had some last night, but you can see I’m busy. I don’t really fancy falling off the top of this wall and making a complete fool of myself.”

“Busy doing what?” Asked Merry.

“Elf watching, are you that dumb?” Merry looked hurt. Before he could lash out, Pippin intervened.

“Why don’t you just go over there? Instead of sneaking up here and spying on them.” Pippin offered her.

“ Cause…cause I’m not sure I’d fit in over there, they seem too refined for the likes of me.” She smiled at Pippin. “Look at their hair, does that hair come naturally? I spend heaps to get mine like this.” She yanked at her blonde hair with copper coloured streaks through it. Merry inspected his own mop of hair and held it up to the light, comparing it to Nicky’s.

She sat back on the wall next Merry. “Would you like to smoke some pipe weed with us now, Miss Nicky?” He passed the pipe to her, she hesitated and he insisted, pushing it towards her.

“Ok, thanks Merry.” She puffed on the end of the long, beautifully shaped wooden pipe. ‘Better than my old bong,’ She laughed to herself. The leaf was as smooth as ever as she drew it into her lung, exhaling slowly. “Lovely thanks guys, could get hooked on that. Wish I had some of my own leaf here to give you boys a taste.” She lay back down on the wall, eyeing the elves as their music and words floated on the air around her. She could go to sleep up here- it was like the most wonderful dream she’d ever be a part of, and she did not want to wake up. Then she spotted the elf. “Oh god, it’s HIM!”

“Who?” Said Pippin, trying to clamber over Merry for a better look.

“Pip! Watch out for the pipe weed! You’ll knock it down.” Merry frantically scrambled to save the Long bottom Leaf from falling over the edge.

“I want to see WHO!” He said again.

“That one with the awesome blonde hair and the silver tunic on. His eyes are always watching.” Nicky overlooked the fact that most of the elves were dressed this way.

Pippin had moved up along side her. “Oh him!” He gave Merry a knowing smile. “Why that’s Legolas. He’s a very good friend of ours, isn’t he Merry?”

“Yeah, he’s a warrior you know. Has an eye for the orcs all right. The way he lets those arrows fly, they don’t stand a chance.”

Nicky’s eyes had widened in surprise. But did he have an eye for the ladies? That’s what she wanted to know. “THAT”S Legolas? Oh man, Kelly’s really going to kill me now. She’s in love with the guy…I mean elf. She’s gonna have my guts for this.”

“Huh?” Merry and Pippin looked at each other and both shrugged. Girls, they were always the same when came to Legolas.

“LEGOLAS!” Pippin shouted over to him.

“What are you doing you idiot?” Nicky hissed, as she pulled him down. “He will see me.” Too late, Legolas had spotted them high upon the wall and was already making his way over to them.

“Yes, Pippin, what are you doing up there?” His eyes searched the wall, easily spotting Nicky lying beside Pippin.

“Smoking Long Bottom Leaf…and it’s glorious!” Pippin grinned at him.

“I see…and you have company?”

“Well yes…this is Miss…” Nicky clamped her hand over his mouth.

“Shhhsh…don’t tell him.” Pippin’s eyes were popping out of his head. Legolas’ left eyebrow arched and his questioning look completely threw her.

“I’ve seen you before…you were out in the reception area yesterday.” His piercing eyes softened and he smiled…Nicky’s heart fluttered and her stomach was doing little flips again.

“That was me alright.” The words stumbled out of her mouth. She felt clumsy and her tongue was threatening to stop working properly- it already seemed to have doubled in size.

“So are you having a good time in the Hobbit Hole?” He asked.

“Yes…I like hobbits.” She felt stupid now, as she knew she was blushing- god, what was happening to her?

“So do I,” Legolas was saying. “They are curious little folk…very brave hearted too.” Nicky was hardly listening…she was mesmerized by his voice and beautiful face. The smoke and his words all mixed together now and she felt totally at peace. Pippin elbowed her.

“What!…Sorry I was miles away.”

“He said… we should join him for lunch at the Elf Resort, do you want to go?”

“Maybe another time.” She heard herself reply. ‘What am I thinking? Nooo…please don’t turn away.’

Legolas smiled at them all and began to walk off. Looking back he said, “Another time it is…Miss…?”

“Nicky!” Merry shouted.

“Miss Nicky.” And with a final wave, he was gone.

Nicky smacked her head repeatedly, “So pathetic, so stupid.” She scolded herself.

Pippin grabbed her hand, “Don’t hurt yourself, you crazy woman.”

“I’ve just made a huge mistake, I’m such a fool.”

“Well, I’ve been called that a few times myself.” laughed Pip. “But Legolas and all the elves will always be there you know. Forever actually.”

“Thanks Pippin…and Merry. But I don’t think I could be held responsible for my actions if I let loose in that place.”

Merry grasped her other hand, “You know what Miss Nicky? Lots of people are fascinated with the elves. You should see them fight, they’re amazing in battle.”

“Yes…I know that.” Nicky thought about all the fighting sequences in the books. ‘ If only I had watched the films’ she thought, for maybe the tenth time that morning. Kelly was right. They were impressive and stunning but Nicky had been a diehard fan of the Tolkien books…preferring not to see the films as it would change her own image of Middle Earth forever. Now she was not so sure of that decision, as Middle Earth had never looked so good as it did now. “Well you two, I suppose I had better go look around for some lunch. Would you like to join me?”

“Sure we would.” Replied Merry. Pip eyed Merry and a smirk crossed his face.

“That’s a grand idea Miss Nicky.” He said.

“Great…now… how do I get down from here?”
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Elf Resort