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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees	By : sarahjean Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General Views: 3149 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
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Hey! All I want is what's real!

Something I touch and can feel!

I'll hold it close and never let it go!

Said "Why . . . why do we live this life?

With all this hate inside?"

I'll give it away 'cause I don't want it no more!

Please, help me find a place!

Somewhere far away, yes I'll go and you'll never see me again!!

- Creed, Bullets

�YAAAAIIIIII!�

That�s the sound my brother Tommy made as he fell down the hill. Well, okay, so I might have pushed him a little�

Truth be told, I was annoyed, and he just sparked it off by pulling my hair. Gandalf noticed this and, as soon as Boromir had helped Tommy up, he decided we should all stop for a rest. I swallowed my pride enough to mutter a quick �sorry�, before darting off to sit alone. Sometimes, sitting alone is the best thing in the world. Either that, or I was so used to it that it was second nature, like breathing.

The landscape was beautiful. An artist I may be, but I draw people and tarot stuff, not landscapes, so all this coming from me about landscapes was actually saying something. It was so green and so pure, there were no cars (though I have to admit, give me an Audi A6 or a Plymouth Fury any day) and no buildings to spoil it. Perfect.

The trek had been spent in silence for me, after telling Legolas things I hadn�t even told Berry. I was embarrassed and ashamed � certainly, it made me fell a bit less suppressed, but at the same time, what did he think of me now? Did he think me weak? I thought myself weak. I mean, just opening my mouth and letting all that tumble out�my life has never been pretty, and putting in words is not only hard, but embarrassing.

As I sat there, I thought of my family, my friends, and what I had considered to be my upcoming career. I had planned to join a band, possibly with Berry � she was making progress against the ME. I could play guitar, mainly played lead, and it was my dream to play professionally � or at least, to play in a band. That little dream went hand in hand with my dream of being a portrait artist. What a load of bollocks that was. No offence here, excuse my language and all, but I think I was kidding myself with that one � I�d spent years trying to be an artist and no one had paid any attention. Maybe I was damned to be one of those poor loners seen walking around pushing old lady�s personalised trolleys for them � doomed for the rest of eternity to push around an OAP�s cart. Lovely.

Sam handed me a plate of properly cooked food, stunningly enough. I managed to recover my manners in time to say thank you. As I ate, I watched Frodo Baggins. The hobbit had a slight smile on his face as he watched Boromir try to teach Merry and Pippin some sword fighting. But you could see he wasn�t very happy. But then, I wouldn�t be either � I was only tagging along and I was complaining like someone had shoved a pole up my � well, never mind.

I handed the empty plate back to Sam with a small smile, and glanced around. Aragorn was watching Boromir and the hobbits, Gimli was looking around, as was Legolas, Tommy and Jack were also practicing with their swords, mocking a proper fight with each other. Gandalf was sitting on a boulder, smoking his pipe thoughtfully. I sighed.

I couldn�t understand why I was feeling unnerved � it was as though there was a great tingling in my body that wasn�t painful but seemed unpleasant all the same. I fidgeted, frowning. I tried to think of something else, aside from this � my head was spinning slightly, and it seemed to be getting worse.

Think, Carrie! Don�t faint, damn it. Ermm�errrrmmm�Rik Mayall! I grinned to myself triumphantly. My favourite comedian! He always made me smile � as Drop Dead Fred or as Rick from the Young Ones � he taught me my first curse word. I believe I learned from him �what a pile of shit�. My smile faded slightly. Rik couldn�t save me now�

�Oh lord,� I groaned, and clutched at my head.

�Man, what is that?� I heard Tommy whine. I frowned. He felt it too? But �

A bright light flashed. Everyone either jumped back or ran for cover. I did neither, but I fell off the boulder I was sitting on. I landed on my ass, and I stared in wide-eyed wonder as a rip seemed to open from the sky, a blue whirlpool in the middle of white light. A silhouette fell from this anomaly, and hit the ground. The whirlpool and the light retracted and disappeared.

Everyone remained still, staring at whatever the figure might be. Gandalf was the first to approach, clutching his staff, whilst Legolas held his bow with an arrow at the ready. I jumped to my feet and slowly trod my way over, frowning. What on earth was that? I didn�t remember reading that in the book.

As I approached, I saw the figure on the ground more clearly. It had shoulder length medium-brown hair, and was wearing�the clothing of my world! And when this woman � apparently � pulled herself up, Tommy, Jack and myself gasped.

�Penny?� We all said together. Then I said, �Bloody hell,� sounding a lot less than satisfied � think Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Everyone stared at me. �What the hell is she doing here?� I glared. �What is this, Happy Families in Middle Earth? You picked the wrong family, sweethearts.� I kicked at a clump of dirt and turned away, tugging on my hair.

�W-where am I?� Penny asked, eyes wide. She glanced around, and her gaze fell on us. �Carrie? Jack? Tommy?!�

Tommy didn�t look all that happy either. He and Penny don�t get along too well, and sometimes I get stuck in the middle, even though I always secretly lean more towards Tommy. It�s not that I don�t like my sister, it�s just that � well, there are actually times when I don�t like her. Hate her, even. We�ve had fun together, but we�re opposites � we clash a lot. I wouldn�t be exaggerating in saying that she�s prettier than me. She has hazel eyes too, but the green in hers is more pronounced than the green in mine, and her eyes are all large and Bambi-like. She has a great figure, a heart shaped face�our parents prefer her too. The only things I have better than her is my hair and the fact that I actually paid good attention to education. Not that she�s an illiterate shcmuck or anything. She just had shitty grades and has forgotten half her schooling.

�Penny,� Jack said, wide-eyed.

�Who is this?� Gandalf asked, all business-like.

�Our sister,� Tommy said, as he helped Penny up.

�Someone in Middle Earth really wants to sabotage this place,� I said, trying my hand at humour. �They�re plaguing you with my entire family.�

Legolas, Boromir and Merry and Pippin looked amused, but the others all looked grim. My siblings glared at me, to which I gave an innocent smile. Once their backs were turned, I allowed my smile to slip into a glare, my lip curled into a look of disgust that might have made Sauron crap himself.

�This gets stranger with every pace,� Gandalf mused, studying Penny. �How many people are there in your family?�

�Five children,� Jack said. �And our parents, Tommy�s kid and wife, Penny�s kids and boyfriend��

I started laughing to myself bitterly at the thought of Leela and Danny in Middle Earth. �I might as well throw myself over the cliff right now,� I muttered to myself quietly.

Unfortunately, Legolas, with his Elf ears, heard me, and cast me a look that said, don�t you dare. I crossed my arms and put on my sulky face. I didn�t want Penny here � I didn�t want anyone here. I wanted to be back in my bed, I wanted Tommy to be kayaking at Yalding, I wanted Jack to be closed up in his bedroom playing his computer. I wanted Penny to be back home stealing mum�s cigarettes.

�What�s going on here?� Penny asked, looking frightened.

�You are in Middle Earth,� Gandalf explained quietly. �It appears you have been pulled into the anomaly that brought your brothers and sister here. Tell me, where were you before this?�

�I was just putting my key in my parents� door,� Penny said. �I�d forgotten that I left my milk in their fridge.�

I closed my eyes. She�d been at the house.

Penny glanced at us. �And you�re here too��

�I�ve been here for a week or two,� Tommy said.

�Days,� Jack said.

�Days,� I echoed.

Penny�s eyes widened. �But that�s impossible! Before everything went black, I heard you, Tommy, yelling about that Anna Kournikova woman.�

�We were pulled in at the same time,� I said, �but we were released at different times.� Something occurred to me. �Hang on � what exactly is the time difference there? I mean, is time standing still while we�re here, or are we missing to our world?�

Gandalf sighed wearily. �That, I am afraid, is a question that cannot be answered by me as of yet. I am still working towards an answer as to how you came to be here in the first place.�

I shook me head, vaguely noting that the lack of surprise from the others meant that they already knew I was from another world.

Penny glanced around, as though noticing for the first time that there were other people. �Um, who are you?�

Gandalf smiled softly. �This, my dear, is the Fellowship of the Ring.�

Penny frowned, then her eyes widened. Me and my brothers gave her warning looks, which luckily, she wasn�t thick enough to not get, so she merely allowed Gandalf to introduce everybody. I sidled up to Tommy. �I think things just got a whole lot worse,� I muttered to him quietly.

�No shit,� he said. �Now I�m gonna be arguing with her all the way to Mount Doom.�

�You and me both, honey,� I replied, shaking my head. �In fact, I say we push her in instead of the Ring.� That made us both chuckle. Penny was definitely going to make things harder � I mean, she used so little brain capacity in a day it made you wonder if the rest of her brain was covered in dust or something. Or if she just needed oiling up like the Tin Man. Thinking of that, I sang to myself, �If only I had a brain��

Jack smirked at me. I gave him the finger.

�Well, it would appear the Fellowship has gained a new member,� Aragorn said, looking disconcerted but accepting.

�Gandalf��

Legolas was looking to the distance, a frown marring his features. I followed his gaze, and froze. How could I have been so stupid? It appeared that my little mental dig at Penny�s brain had ricocheted back at me. I�d let my own prediction slip past me. A black, cloud-like formation was moving towards as�

�What is that?� Sam asked, looking at it worriedly.

�Nothing,� Gimli said. �It is just a wisp of cloud.�

�It is moving fast,� Boromir said distantly. �Against the wind.�

Gandalf glanced at me, and he must have seen the look in my eyes. �Quickly!� He cried, �Take cover!�

�Crebain from Dunland!� Legolas said, and instantly moved quickly, grabbing my forearm and ushering me along. I was vaguely aware of everyone moving behind us, as Legolas and I dove over a rock and hid behind it, breathing rapidly.

I heard squawks and a horrible, leathery rustling of dark wings. There were many of these Crebain. I glanced to Legolas, and he glanced back. He gave a reassuring smile, but I didn�t really register it as reassuring. Not right now. My brain was on a whirligig, and only a tranquiliser dart in the ass could calm me now.

I rested my forehead on the smooth rock, waiting for the Crebain to pass. Sharp stabs of pain were shooting through my head, and I felt almost as though I were being shrivelled, like a grape in the sun becoming a raisin. I just wanted to shrink back into the shadows, I wanted to dispel the pain from behind my eyes.

�Melamin?� Legolas asked carefully. �Are you well?�

I opened my eyes, and rolled my forehead on the stone as I turned my head towards him. I nodded weakly. �H-headache.�

Soon, Gandalf gave the all-clear, and we all crawled out from our hiding places, looking about us wearily. Gandalf eyed the skies, before turning to me. �Well, if I had doubted you before, Carrie, I most certainly do not now.� He shook his head. �Spies of Saruman. The passage south is being watched. We must take the pass of Caradhras.�

Caradhras�why did that ring a bell in my mind? After the spies�oh, crap. Caradhras! I glanced at Gandalf in a questioning way, but the look he gave me clearly said he didn�t want to know what lay ahead. Apparently, he would rather risk Caradhras than Moria. Of course, I knew why. But still � I could change things. I could stop Pippin from making too much noise, I could save time � if only people would listen to me. Story of my life, you know. No one ever listens to me. I hate to sound sorry for myself and all, but it�s true.

I frowned. �Caradhras��

�Yes,� Gandalf said, and the tone of his voice was final. I swallowed, and glanced at my brothers. No point in looking to Penny � she was pretty much useless. Jack and Tommy knew what would happen, and they stared back at me with looks of confusion. I shook my head. Gandalf would be impenetrable in his decisions, I knew this. We had no choice but to take the cold route of Caradhras.
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Falling In Love is Hard on the Knees