Shadows Of The Past
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
10,021
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
6
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
10,021
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
6
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 11
Title: Shadows of The Past (11/?)
Author: Janalynn27
Type: FPS
Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, Rape, Non-con, AU
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No disrespect is intended and no profit is being made.
Beta: Patricia Pleasant aka slayer9649, Thanks a bunch! Any other mistakes are of my making.
Summary: Glorfindel uses Erestor as a shield to say no to a suitor and Erestor is tormented by the past.
Timeline: Early TA
Feedback: It is greatly appreciated
Author's note: Okay, I know Greenwood the Great wasn't called Mirkwood until about 1050 TA but in my story it is already called Mirkwood. The twins are around 22 yrs. old which is about 8 human yrs. old and Lindir is around 29 yrs old which is about 10 human yrs. old.
Chapter 11
Sitting in his usual corner in the Hall of Fire, Erestor and Glorfindel listened to Lindir play and sing his beautiful music. As time went by, the sound in the hall became louder as drink was imbibed and raucous games of chance and merry dancing ensued. Glorfindel laughed as he watched one of his warriors, Conion, sway out on the dance floor, obviously having had too much to drink, even for an elf.
Erestor watched the warrior and his groping hands, trying desperately to keep hold of a dance partner, but failing miserably. When Conion looked towards their corner and smiled at Glorfindel, Erestor narrowed his eyes and watched as the warrior stumbled his way to Fin’s side.
“Captain, why do you not come and dance with me,” Conion asked, having danced with Glorfindel a time or two before.
Glorfindel smiled and shook his head, “I must decline, Conion. I am not dancing tonight.”
Erestor gripped the arms of his chair until his knuckles were white and he almost growled at the warrior when he grabbed Glorfindel’s arm and proceeded to pull on him, saying, “Oh, just one dance Captain, saes (please).”
Glorfindel knew that the warrior had drunk too much and that Conion was a jovial ellon, often the life of the party, so he was not upset with his insistence. Trying to convince Conion that he was not up to dancing this night, he was suddenly cut short when Erestor stood.
Erestor had had enough and before he realized what he was doing, he stood as close as he could to Conion without touching him and whispered in a deadly voice, “Your Captain has said he does not want to dance and if I were you, I would release him at once before you lose something very precious to you.”
Conion gulped and looked down to where Master Erestor had a knife at his groin and he immediately let go of his Captain’s arm, afraid to make any other moves. “I…I am sorry…,” Conion gasped.
Glorfindel was so surprised at Erestor that he could not move for a few moments until finally he shook himself and slowly gained his feet. Carefully wrapping his hand around Erestor’s wrist, Glorfindel whispered, “Conion, I suggest you walk away.”
The warrior nodded and backed a few feet away, then whipped around, fairly running to the table that held the drinks and quickly down one and then poured his self another.
Once he was gone, Glorfindel discreetly took the knife from Erestor and slipped it into his boot just as Erestor turned to him to bury his face against his chest. Sighing, he wrapped his arms about him and breathed, “Es.”
Erestor sniffled, not believing what he just did. He could still feel the possessive anger pulsing through him, all he could think of was that Fin was *his* and that Conion had no right in touching him. When the warrior started to pull on Fin’s arm and kept pleading for a dance, Erestor just snapped.
Glorfindel felt Erestor tremble and he scanned the hall, noticing that a few were looking their way. Not wanting Erestor to be seen in this condition, he pulled him to his side and said, “Lindir, Erestor and I are going to go to his chambers. In about a half an hour, why do you not come and we will have some hot cocoa and cookies.”
Lindir had not seen what exactly had gone on between Conion and Erestor, nor did he hear anything that was said, but he could tell that Erestor was terribly upset. “I will be there,” he said, nodding.
Glorfindel smiled down at him as he walked with Erestor, stopping to bid Elrond and Thranduil goodnight, and then heading out of the Hall of Fire. When they were around the corner from the hall, Erestor stumbled and Glorfindel swung him up into his arms and quickly made his way to Erestor’s chambers.
Erestor buried his face in the crook of Glorfindel’s neck and wrapped his fingers amid Fin’s tresses. His body shook as the anger still coursed through his veins and he clung tighter to Glorfindel. When he was carried into his bedchamber, Erestor released Fin as he rasped, “Let me down.”
Glorfindel frowned but did what he was told and he watched as Erestor pulled away from him and went to stand in front of the fire. After a few minutes and Erestor had yet to say anything, Glorfindel took a few steps forward, asking, “Es, are you all right?”
Erestor closed his eyes, “No, I am not,” he said in a sorrowful voice. He was not well. As the wall started tumbling down, he was finding things about himself that he did not like. Hitting Glorfindel, the rage that had filled his soul, even to the point of drowning out the pain, made him cringe just thinking about it. And now, tonight, feeling the possessiveness towards Fin, the deadly fury towards Conion and his audacity to even think of touching what was his. What would Glorfindel think of him, when he told him of his feelings, the emotions that were filling him, making him do things that he never thought that he was capable of?
Glorfindel could feel the mixture of emotions that were surging through Erestor. As time went by, a bond was forming between them, and he was able to pick up on Erestor’s feelings much easier. Walking up behind Erestor, he placed his hands on his shoulders, only to have Erestor pull away from him and start to pace around the chamber. Truly worried, Glorfindel asked, “Es, what is it? You can tell me anything.”
Erestor slowed to a stop and turned to face his meldir (m. friend). He searched Fin’s face, thinking that there could not possibly be a more handsome, caring ellon to ever exist and the fact that he did not deserve him. He knew that if he were to confess his feelings to him, that Glorfindel would not be angry, but would he be disappointed? Erestor did not know if he could handle Fin’s disappointment in him but he also knew that he could not keep anything from his best friend. Walking back over to stand before the fire he took a deep breath and said, “I am having feelings that I am struggling with. Tonight, when Conion touched you I was furious. There was a part in me that wanted to protect you but that was not what was going through my mind when I put the knife against his groin.”
Glorfindel frowned, “Es, it is completely understandable, your reaction towards him. With what you have gone through, of course you are going to be protective of me,” he said in a soothing voice.
Erestor whipped around and shouted, “But that is not what had me nearly attacking him! All I could think of was that he had no right to touch you, to touch what is mine! I wanted to hurt Conion just for him even thinking that he had a right to your attention.”
Glorfindel was at a loss for words as tears filled those dark haunted eyes that he longed to see filled with happiness. When Erestor’s eyes filled with dismay at his silence and looked down to the floor, Glorfindel quickly walked to him and drew him into his arms. “Shh, Es, everything will be all right,” he whispered.
Erestor buried his face against Glorfindel’s chest and shook his head, “Is it? Are you not disappointed in me?” Erestor asked, his voice fill with such hopefulness and fear.
Glorfindel had to blink away his tears as he placed his hands on either side of Erestor’s face so he could look into his eyes, “Es, I am not disappointed with you. I should have realized how you would feel. I should have been more forceful with Conion. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Elrond knew this, which is why he suggested that we leave. Not until you work through all these feelings will you truly be healed. The things that you went through, the things that you lost, of course you are going to be filled with anger. It was not right, what happened to you,” Glorfindel said as he wiped at Erestor’s tears.
Erestor searched Glorfindel’s eyes and saw only understanding, patience, and love. When Glorfindel leaned forward to place a kiss upon his brow, Erestor closed his eyes and whispered, “Hannon le. I do not deserve you.”
Glorfindel caressed Erestor’s cheek with the pad of his thumb, “Of course you do, though as time goes by, you may think differently about whether I deserve you,” he said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood, “Now why do you not go and wash your face, Lindir will be here soon and I know he will be upset if he sees your tears.”
Wiping at his tears, Erestor raised a delicate eyebrow and chuckled, “We will see; it will all depend on how many bad habits of yours that I uncover.”
Glorfindel laughed as he watched Erestor walk into the bathing chamber and shut the door. Going over to the fire, Glorfindel had just picked up the kettle of hot cocoa when there was a knock upon the door. Sitting the cocoa onto a table, he went and answered it. “Lindir, come in. I was just about to pour the hot cocoa. I have not even looked to see what kind of cookies that were sent,” Glorfindel said with a smile as he led Lindir to the table near the balcony.
Lindir followed the warrior as he searched the room. When he did not see Erestor he frowned. “Where is Erestor?” he asked as he sat down at the table and accepted a mug of cocoa from Glorfindel.
Glorfindel uncovered the plate of cookies and said, “He is in the bathing chamber; he should be out shortly.”
After choosing a couple of cookies from the plate that Glorfindel held out to him, he then placed them onto the napkin before him and asked, “Should we not wait for Erestor?”
“I am here, penneth (young one),” Erestor said as he walked to the table and sat down across from the young minstrel.
Lindir smiled, “Hello, Erestor, you are feeling better?”
Erestor looked to Glorfindel with dismay, not having realized that Lindir had seen what he did in the Hall of Fire. When Glorfindel shook his head that he did not see anything, Erestor was greatly relieved and turned back to Lindir and said, “I am, hannon le. Now, what kind of cookies do we have here?” he asked as he reached for a cookie, “Mmmm, oatmeal raisin, my favorite.”
Between bites, Lindir told Erestor and Glorfindel how he was doing in his studies. He smiled with pride when he announced that his teacher had commented that he had never met a minstrel of his caliber at such a young age.
“Oh, I am so proud of you, pen dithen (little one),” Erestor smiled a bit nervously. They were finishing with their treat and now it was time for him to tell Lindir that he was leaving.
Glorfindel felt Erestor’s nervousness so he placed his hand over his meldir’s and gave it a light squeeze. “You are very gifted, Lindir, I am sure by the time you reach your majority you will have excelled well past all of the minstrels here in Imladris,” Glorfindel said with a smile of his own.
Lindir nodded as he looked down to where the two adults were holding hands and he felt jealous of the Balrog Slayer. When Erestor said his name, he looked up into his eyes and frowned when he saw the worry in them and wondered what it was that Erestor needed to tell him.
Taking a deep fortifying breath, Erestor said, “Lindir, I wanted to let you know that Glorfindel and I will be leaving for the winter. I am not feeling that well and under Lord Elrond’s instructions, we will be spending the winter in Elrond’s cottage. Because of the imminent snow, Fin and I will be leaving the day after tomorrow.”
Lindir sat back and stared wide-eyed at Erestor, not wanting to believe what he just heard. As tears filled his eyes, he gasped, “You are leaving, but what of Yuletide? I have not finished your present yet!”
Erestor’s heart ached as he saw the tears pool in the crystal blue eyes of his pen dithen. “Lindir, do not be angry with me. I did not want to leave but I am sure you are aware that I am not well. I would not be leaving if I thought it would not help me. Saes, do not be upset with me,” Erestor pleaded.
Lindir could not help the tears that started to fall. Sniffling, he whimpered, “I am not angry with you,” then he ran over to the settee before the fire and crushed his knees to his chest as he bowed his head, crying.
Erestor sat there, his own tears falling as he listened to his penneth. It was so easy to forget that Lindir was still so very young. His genius in music and his mature attitude, forced upon him by losing his family at such a young age, made one think of him as much older than his twenty-nine years. Not knowing what to do to make it better, he looked to Fin for help.
Glorfindel sighed as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind Erestor’s ear and whispered, “Go talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him and that you will be back as soon as spring comes.”
Erestor took a shuddering breath and walked over to kneel next to the settee. “Saes, Lindir, do not cry so. I will not be gone forever. Once spring comes I will return right away. And the cottage is not so very far away. Should there be an emergency I will be able to return to Imladris or Lord Elrond could send a messenger to me. Saes, I will not be able to go if I know that you are upset with me,” Erestor said, trying to keep his voice steady.
Blue eyes looked upon Erestor’s face and saw the tears that wet the ellon’s (m. elf’s) cheeks and Lindir sniffled, “I am not upset or angry with you. I know you would not leave unless you had to. I am sorry Erestor; I cannot seem to stop crying.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, pen dithen,” Erestor said as he watched Lindir bow his head once more. The pain he was feeling over his pen dithen’s hurt was tearing at him and he tried to think of something that he could do to possibly make up for it. Suddenly he knew of one thing he could do, but could he handle it? Erestor thought of how much he loved Lindir, as if he were his own Elfling, and he realized that he wanted to do this. Taking a deep breath, Erestor asked Lindir to look at him and when the tear-streaked face of his penneth appeared, Erestor opened his arms.
Lindir blinked to see through his tears and stared into the ellon’s eyes, the one that he longed to be held by, searching for affirmation. When Erestor nodded, Lindir did not waste anymore time before he was off the settee and wrapping his arms about the dark-haired Advisor’s neck. As arms enfolded him, his tears started to fall in earnest, causing him to let out great hiccups.
The force of Lindir’s small body caused Erestor to fall back on his bottom. Closing his eyes, Erestor leaned his head on top of Lindir’s and wrapped his arms tightly about him. “Ai (Ah), merilin nín (my nightingale), how much I love you. I am so sorry that I have not told you before now,” Erestor whispered, as he rocked Lindir in his arms.
The young minstrel sniffled as he leaned back to look into Erestor’s eyes and whispered back, “Your merilin?”
Erestor smiled through his tears as he nodded, “Yes, that is what you are to me. Your music sooths my soul, your faer (soul) shines so brightly that you give light to mine. You will never know just how much you mean to me.”
Tears fell faster even though a huge smile lit up Lindir’s face. He leaned forward and placed a kiss upon Erestor’s cheek before resting his head once more onto his shoulder and said, “I love you, too.”
Glorfindel, with tears of his own upon his face, sat down upon the settee and Erestor and he stared into each others eyes. He was so happy for the both of them and he knew that Erestor was going to be okay. It may take all winter to work through the memories and the emotions, but Glorfindel knew that Erestor would try all the more harder for the pen dithen that he cradled now. When finally Lindir had cried himself to sleep, he helped Erestor lay him onto the settee and cover him with a blanket.
“Should we inform Elrond that he is here?” Erestor asked as he brushed Lindir’s hair off his face.
Glorfindel wrapped his arm about Erestor and whispered, “No, there is no need. Elrond knew that he would be here with us and that you were telling Lindir of our journey.”
Erestor sighed as he turned and wrapped his arms about Fin’s waist. Resting his head against his chest, he looked down at the sleeping Elfling, “Hannon le, Fin. If it had not been for you, I would not have had the courage to hold Lindir. You have given me so much.”
Glorfindel tightened his arms around Erestor, “You are welcome, mellon nín (my friend). You have given me and Lindir so much in return. Come, let us get some sleep, for tomorrow will be a long day, I reckon,” he said as he pulled Erestor away from the settee.
Sighing, Erestor walked over to the bed and retrieved his night robe, saying he would return quickly and headed into the bathing chamber to change. After brushing out his hair, Erestor walked back into the bedchamber as Glorfindel took his turn getting dressed for bed. Checking on Lindir one more time, Erestor then crawled into bed.
Glorfindel doused all but one lamp and then climbed into bed. Spooning Erestor, he smiled when he heard Erestor’s sigh and felt him snuggle closer to him. Lacing his fingers with Erestor’s, he whispered, “Goodnight, mellon nín.”
Sometime in the middle of the night, Erestor woke to find a sleepy-eyed Lindir standing next to the bed. Smiling and without saying a word, Erestor pulled back the covers so the Elfling could crawl into bed. After he was settled, Erestor wrapped Lindir into his arms and sighed with contentment as Fin’s arm moved to hold both of them tightly. Peace settled over all three of them and they soon were fast asleep, smiles gracing their lips.
TBC
Author: Janalynn27
Type: FPS
Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, Rape, Non-con, AU
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No disrespect is intended and no profit is being made.
Beta: Patricia Pleasant aka slayer9649, Thanks a bunch! Any other mistakes are of my making.
Summary: Glorfindel uses Erestor as a shield to say no to a suitor and Erestor is tormented by the past.
Timeline: Early TA
Feedback: It is greatly appreciated
Author's note: Okay, I know Greenwood the Great wasn't called Mirkwood until about 1050 TA but in my story it is already called Mirkwood. The twins are around 22 yrs. old which is about 8 human yrs. old and Lindir is around 29 yrs old which is about 10 human yrs. old.
Chapter 11
Sitting in his usual corner in the Hall of Fire, Erestor and Glorfindel listened to Lindir play and sing his beautiful music. As time went by, the sound in the hall became louder as drink was imbibed and raucous games of chance and merry dancing ensued. Glorfindel laughed as he watched one of his warriors, Conion, sway out on the dance floor, obviously having had too much to drink, even for an elf.
Erestor watched the warrior and his groping hands, trying desperately to keep hold of a dance partner, but failing miserably. When Conion looked towards their corner and smiled at Glorfindel, Erestor narrowed his eyes and watched as the warrior stumbled his way to Fin’s side.
“Captain, why do you not come and dance with me,” Conion asked, having danced with Glorfindel a time or two before.
Glorfindel smiled and shook his head, “I must decline, Conion. I am not dancing tonight.”
Erestor gripped the arms of his chair until his knuckles were white and he almost growled at the warrior when he grabbed Glorfindel’s arm and proceeded to pull on him, saying, “Oh, just one dance Captain, saes (please).”
Glorfindel knew that the warrior had drunk too much and that Conion was a jovial ellon, often the life of the party, so he was not upset with his insistence. Trying to convince Conion that he was not up to dancing this night, he was suddenly cut short when Erestor stood.
Erestor had had enough and before he realized what he was doing, he stood as close as he could to Conion without touching him and whispered in a deadly voice, “Your Captain has said he does not want to dance and if I were you, I would release him at once before you lose something very precious to you.”
Conion gulped and looked down to where Master Erestor had a knife at his groin and he immediately let go of his Captain’s arm, afraid to make any other moves. “I…I am sorry…,” Conion gasped.
Glorfindel was so surprised at Erestor that he could not move for a few moments until finally he shook himself and slowly gained his feet. Carefully wrapping his hand around Erestor’s wrist, Glorfindel whispered, “Conion, I suggest you walk away.”
The warrior nodded and backed a few feet away, then whipped around, fairly running to the table that held the drinks and quickly down one and then poured his self another.
Once he was gone, Glorfindel discreetly took the knife from Erestor and slipped it into his boot just as Erestor turned to him to bury his face against his chest. Sighing, he wrapped his arms about him and breathed, “Es.”
Erestor sniffled, not believing what he just did. He could still feel the possessive anger pulsing through him, all he could think of was that Fin was *his* and that Conion had no right in touching him. When the warrior started to pull on Fin’s arm and kept pleading for a dance, Erestor just snapped.
Glorfindel felt Erestor tremble and he scanned the hall, noticing that a few were looking their way. Not wanting Erestor to be seen in this condition, he pulled him to his side and said, “Lindir, Erestor and I are going to go to his chambers. In about a half an hour, why do you not come and we will have some hot cocoa and cookies.”
Lindir had not seen what exactly had gone on between Conion and Erestor, nor did he hear anything that was said, but he could tell that Erestor was terribly upset. “I will be there,” he said, nodding.
Glorfindel smiled down at him as he walked with Erestor, stopping to bid Elrond and Thranduil goodnight, and then heading out of the Hall of Fire. When they were around the corner from the hall, Erestor stumbled and Glorfindel swung him up into his arms and quickly made his way to Erestor’s chambers.
Erestor buried his face in the crook of Glorfindel’s neck and wrapped his fingers amid Fin’s tresses. His body shook as the anger still coursed through his veins and he clung tighter to Glorfindel. When he was carried into his bedchamber, Erestor released Fin as he rasped, “Let me down.”
Glorfindel frowned but did what he was told and he watched as Erestor pulled away from him and went to stand in front of the fire. After a few minutes and Erestor had yet to say anything, Glorfindel took a few steps forward, asking, “Es, are you all right?”
Erestor closed his eyes, “No, I am not,” he said in a sorrowful voice. He was not well. As the wall started tumbling down, he was finding things about himself that he did not like. Hitting Glorfindel, the rage that had filled his soul, even to the point of drowning out the pain, made him cringe just thinking about it. And now, tonight, feeling the possessiveness towards Fin, the deadly fury towards Conion and his audacity to even think of touching what was his. What would Glorfindel think of him, when he told him of his feelings, the emotions that were filling him, making him do things that he never thought that he was capable of?
Glorfindel could feel the mixture of emotions that were surging through Erestor. As time went by, a bond was forming between them, and he was able to pick up on Erestor’s feelings much easier. Walking up behind Erestor, he placed his hands on his shoulders, only to have Erestor pull away from him and start to pace around the chamber. Truly worried, Glorfindel asked, “Es, what is it? You can tell me anything.”
Erestor slowed to a stop and turned to face his meldir (m. friend). He searched Fin’s face, thinking that there could not possibly be a more handsome, caring ellon to ever exist and the fact that he did not deserve him. He knew that if he were to confess his feelings to him, that Glorfindel would not be angry, but would he be disappointed? Erestor did not know if he could handle Fin’s disappointment in him but he also knew that he could not keep anything from his best friend. Walking back over to stand before the fire he took a deep breath and said, “I am having feelings that I am struggling with. Tonight, when Conion touched you I was furious. There was a part in me that wanted to protect you but that was not what was going through my mind when I put the knife against his groin.”
Glorfindel frowned, “Es, it is completely understandable, your reaction towards him. With what you have gone through, of course you are going to be protective of me,” he said in a soothing voice.
Erestor whipped around and shouted, “But that is not what had me nearly attacking him! All I could think of was that he had no right to touch you, to touch what is mine! I wanted to hurt Conion just for him even thinking that he had a right to your attention.”
Glorfindel was at a loss for words as tears filled those dark haunted eyes that he longed to see filled with happiness. When Erestor’s eyes filled with dismay at his silence and looked down to the floor, Glorfindel quickly walked to him and drew him into his arms. “Shh, Es, everything will be all right,” he whispered.
Erestor buried his face against Glorfindel’s chest and shook his head, “Is it? Are you not disappointed in me?” Erestor asked, his voice fill with such hopefulness and fear.
Glorfindel had to blink away his tears as he placed his hands on either side of Erestor’s face so he could look into his eyes, “Es, I am not disappointed with you. I should have realized how you would feel. I should have been more forceful with Conion. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Elrond knew this, which is why he suggested that we leave. Not until you work through all these feelings will you truly be healed. The things that you went through, the things that you lost, of course you are going to be filled with anger. It was not right, what happened to you,” Glorfindel said as he wiped at Erestor’s tears.
Erestor searched Glorfindel’s eyes and saw only understanding, patience, and love. When Glorfindel leaned forward to place a kiss upon his brow, Erestor closed his eyes and whispered, “Hannon le. I do not deserve you.”
Glorfindel caressed Erestor’s cheek with the pad of his thumb, “Of course you do, though as time goes by, you may think differently about whether I deserve you,” he said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood, “Now why do you not go and wash your face, Lindir will be here soon and I know he will be upset if he sees your tears.”
Wiping at his tears, Erestor raised a delicate eyebrow and chuckled, “We will see; it will all depend on how many bad habits of yours that I uncover.”
Glorfindel laughed as he watched Erestor walk into the bathing chamber and shut the door. Going over to the fire, Glorfindel had just picked up the kettle of hot cocoa when there was a knock upon the door. Sitting the cocoa onto a table, he went and answered it. “Lindir, come in. I was just about to pour the hot cocoa. I have not even looked to see what kind of cookies that were sent,” Glorfindel said with a smile as he led Lindir to the table near the balcony.
Lindir followed the warrior as he searched the room. When he did not see Erestor he frowned. “Where is Erestor?” he asked as he sat down at the table and accepted a mug of cocoa from Glorfindel.
Glorfindel uncovered the plate of cookies and said, “He is in the bathing chamber; he should be out shortly.”
After choosing a couple of cookies from the plate that Glorfindel held out to him, he then placed them onto the napkin before him and asked, “Should we not wait for Erestor?”
“I am here, penneth (young one),” Erestor said as he walked to the table and sat down across from the young minstrel.
Lindir smiled, “Hello, Erestor, you are feeling better?”
Erestor looked to Glorfindel with dismay, not having realized that Lindir had seen what he did in the Hall of Fire. When Glorfindel shook his head that he did not see anything, Erestor was greatly relieved and turned back to Lindir and said, “I am, hannon le. Now, what kind of cookies do we have here?” he asked as he reached for a cookie, “Mmmm, oatmeal raisin, my favorite.”
Between bites, Lindir told Erestor and Glorfindel how he was doing in his studies. He smiled with pride when he announced that his teacher had commented that he had never met a minstrel of his caliber at such a young age.
“Oh, I am so proud of you, pen dithen (little one),” Erestor smiled a bit nervously. They were finishing with their treat and now it was time for him to tell Lindir that he was leaving.
Glorfindel felt Erestor’s nervousness so he placed his hand over his meldir’s and gave it a light squeeze. “You are very gifted, Lindir, I am sure by the time you reach your majority you will have excelled well past all of the minstrels here in Imladris,” Glorfindel said with a smile of his own.
Lindir nodded as he looked down to where the two adults were holding hands and he felt jealous of the Balrog Slayer. When Erestor said his name, he looked up into his eyes and frowned when he saw the worry in them and wondered what it was that Erestor needed to tell him.
Taking a deep fortifying breath, Erestor said, “Lindir, I wanted to let you know that Glorfindel and I will be leaving for the winter. I am not feeling that well and under Lord Elrond’s instructions, we will be spending the winter in Elrond’s cottage. Because of the imminent snow, Fin and I will be leaving the day after tomorrow.”
Lindir sat back and stared wide-eyed at Erestor, not wanting to believe what he just heard. As tears filled his eyes, he gasped, “You are leaving, but what of Yuletide? I have not finished your present yet!”
Erestor’s heart ached as he saw the tears pool in the crystal blue eyes of his pen dithen. “Lindir, do not be angry with me. I did not want to leave but I am sure you are aware that I am not well. I would not be leaving if I thought it would not help me. Saes, do not be upset with me,” Erestor pleaded.
Lindir could not help the tears that started to fall. Sniffling, he whimpered, “I am not angry with you,” then he ran over to the settee before the fire and crushed his knees to his chest as he bowed his head, crying.
Erestor sat there, his own tears falling as he listened to his penneth. It was so easy to forget that Lindir was still so very young. His genius in music and his mature attitude, forced upon him by losing his family at such a young age, made one think of him as much older than his twenty-nine years. Not knowing what to do to make it better, he looked to Fin for help.
Glorfindel sighed as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind Erestor’s ear and whispered, “Go talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him and that you will be back as soon as spring comes.”
Erestor took a shuddering breath and walked over to kneel next to the settee. “Saes, Lindir, do not cry so. I will not be gone forever. Once spring comes I will return right away. And the cottage is not so very far away. Should there be an emergency I will be able to return to Imladris or Lord Elrond could send a messenger to me. Saes, I will not be able to go if I know that you are upset with me,” Erestor said, trying to keep his voice steady.
Blue eyes looked upon Erestor’s face and saw the tears that wet the ellon’s (m. elf’s) cheeks and Lindir sniffled, “I am not upset or angry with you. I know you would not leave unless you had to. I am sorry Erestor; I cannot seem to stop crying.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, pen dithen,” Erestor said as he watched Lindir bow his head once more. The pain he was feeling over his pen dithen’s hurt was tearing at him and he tried to think of something that he could do to possibly make up for it. Suddenly he knew of one thing he could do, but could he handle it? Erestor thought of how much he loved Lindir, as if he were his own Elfling, and he realized that he wanted to do this. Taking a deep breath, Erestor asked Lindir to look at him and when the tear-streaked face of his penneth appeared, Erestor opened his arms.
Lindir blinked to see through his tears and stared into the ellon’s eyes, the one that he longed to be held by, searching for affirmation. When Erestor nodded, Lindir did not waste anymore time before he was off the settee and wrapping his arms about the dark-haired Advisor’s neck. As arms enfolded him, his tears started to fall in earnest, causing him to let out great hiccups.
The force of Lindir’s small body caused Erestor to fall back on his bottom. Closing his eyes, Erestor leaned his head on top of Lindir’s and wrapped his arms tightly about him. “Ai (Ah), merilin nín (my nightingale), how much I love you. I am so sorry that I have not told you before now,” Erestor whispered, as he rocked Lindir in his arms.
The young minstrel sniffled as he leaned back to look into Erestor’s eyes and whispered back, “Your merilin?”
Erestor smiled through his tears as he nodded, “Yes, that is what you are to me. Your music sooths my soul, your faer (soul) shines so brightly that you give light to mine. You will never know just how much you mean to me.”
Tears fell faster even though a huge smile lit up Lindir’s face. He leaned forward and placed a kiss upon Erestor’s cheek before resting his head once more onto his shoulder and said, “I love you, too.”
Glorfindel, with tears of his own upon his face, sat down upon the settee and Erestor and he stared into each others eyes. He was so happy for the both of them and he knew that Erestor was going to be okay. It may take all winter to work through the memories and the emotions, but Glorfindel knew that Erestor would try all the more harder for the pen dithen that he cradled now. When finally Lindir had cried himself to sleep, he helped Erestor lay him onto the settee and cover him with a blanket.
“Should we inform Elrond that he is here?” Erestor asked as he brushed Lindir’s hair off his face.
Glorfindel wrapped his arm about Erestor and whispered, “No, there is no need. Elrond knew that he would be here with us and that you were telling Lindir of our journey.”
Erestor sighed as he turned and wrapped his arms about Fin’s waist. Resting his head against his chest, he looked down at the sleeping Elfling, “Hannon le, Fin. If it had not been for you, I would not have had the courage to hold Lindir. You have given me so much.”
Glorfindel tightened his arms around Erestor, “You are welcome, mellon nín (my friend). You have given me and Lindir so much in return. Come, let us get some sleep, for tomorrow will be a long day, I reckon,” he said as he pulled Erestor away from the settee.
Sighing, Erestor walked over to the bed and retrieved his night robe, saying he would return quickly and headed into the bathing chamber to change. After brushing out his hair, Erestor walked back into the bedchamber as Glorfindel took his turn getting dressed for bed. Checking on Lindir one more time, Erestor then crawled into bed.
Glorfindel doused all but one lamp and then climbed into bed. Spooning Erestor, he smiled when he heard Erestor’s sigh and felt him snuggle closer to him. Lacing his fingers with Erestor’s, he whispered, “Goodnight, mellon nín.”
Sometime in the middle of the night, Erestor woke to find a sleepy-eyed Lindir standing next to the bed. Smiling and without saying a word, Erestor pulled back the covers so the Elfling could crawl into bed. After he was settled, Erestor wrapped Lindir into his arms and sighed with contentment as Fin’s arm moved to hold both of them tightly. Peace settled over all three of them and they soon were fast asleep, smiles gracing their lips.
TBC