Life's Path

Title: Life’s Path
Author: Elfgirl69
Pairing: Haldir/OFC
Rating: R
Genre: romance
WARNING: Adult themes, sex
Disclaimer: I own no one from The Lord of the Rings. All the characters and place names displayed belong to JRR Tolkien. I do not intend to, nor am I making any financial gain from the writing of
this story.
Feedback: Yes please!
Beta: Tracy; Thanks for keeping my story online!
Timeline: A.U. Not following movie-verse.
Summary: Annis is drawn to Caras Galadhon to find her life’s path and love.

Chapter 12 – The Ripple Effect

The next morning Haldir rose from his slumber, stretching as his right hand pushed the long hair from his face, the memory of the prior day still playing in his mind. He smiled, chuckling lightly as he thought of Annis standing on the bench. Sliding slowly off the bed he walked to the large bay window then pushed the light silk shears back and gazed out upon Rivendell. He saw a few Elves moving in the early raising sun, one of which was Maresto who was walking towards Elrond’s palace. He shook his head as he pushed jealous thoughts out of his mind. A knock at the door caused him to dress hurriedly and then swiftly answered it where Celeborn stood before him.

“Good morning Haldir.”

“Morning, my lord,” he bowed in greeting, moving back to allow Celeborn to enter.

“We are to convene with Elrond and the others soon.” Celeborn walked to the window, gazing out. His mannerism seemed to be one of preoccupation. “I wish for you to sit in with us. You know much of the activities on our borders and can help with analyzing the threat.”

“I would be honored to do so.” Haldir moved to stand next to his lord.

“It has been so long since I have walked the hall of this palace. Not much has changed, though the laughter of my dear child has long gone.” Haldir stood quiet, not sure what to say or how to offer any comfort. Celeborn turned and looked at Haldir intently as he continued. “Haldir, I do not possess great powers like my beloved Galadriel but I do have enough to sense what is in the air. I feel so much anger. All involved need to step back and take a breath, allow things to progress without using too many of the negative emotions which float on the air heavily.”

Haldir was vaguely shocked as Celeborn speak so. He wanted to plead ignorance, act as if he had no idea what Celeborn was alluding to but alas, he could not. He looked away and out of the window again, sighing heavily. Maybe not intentionally, but Celeborn had confirmed his suspicions…Elrond did not approve of him. Last night Annis had been so convincing, throwing his thoughts of Elrond’s disapproval of him to the side with her actions. He felt the hand of Celeborn gently squeezing his shoulder then it remained there as he spoke.

“Fathers, even grandfathers, can be somewhat blind when it comes to the child they care so deeply for. They fail to see the happiness of the child, rather seeing the expectations and plans they have built within their own minds for the path the child should take. It is not something many would ever admit to. We use excuses and words to hide this. It is a weakness you too will feel when your child arrives in the world.”

Haldir swallowed hard and bowed his head. The words echoing through his mind as he tried to grasp words, but could not. Slowly he forced words to form.

“Then Elrond disapproves of me…of us. She said he disapproved of her choice of being a warden, she lied.”

“You can not blame Annis. Do you think she ever entertained the idea her actions would cause disapproval? She wants nothing more than a chance to follow her path but she has some barriers to climb.”

“Aye, barriers, but we know sometimes when one can not climb with the weight they carry, they may drop some of the load.” His words were bitter and he felt Celeborn pull his hand back.

“Do you think this is why I came to you, to anger you? I came to talk not as a lord but as a trusted friend. I wanted you to understand what Annis may experience in the next few days. She will need your support not your anger.”

Haldir could not speak. How could he be strong and sit back as Annis was swayed by Elrond to leave him, the wardens, and Caras Galadhon. He turned, looking at Celeborn.

“I thank you for your words, but I need to think, alone.” Haldir bowed his head and walked towards the door. His usual formality breaking for a moment as he looked back at Celeborn by the window and spoke. “May I ask to be excused from the meeting this morning?”

Celeborn slowly nodded his head and sighed softly.

“Aye, I am sorry to cause you such hurt and anger, that was not the intention. Please seek my counsel later this day and we will discuss what passes at the meeting.”

Haldir nodded and turned swiftly, walking blindly towards the surrounding woods as Celeborn’s words echoed through his mind.

******
Annis awoke and dressed before the sun had even risen. She chose a simple white flowing gown and braided her hair, using some of the lilies in her room to weave into the braid. She departed her room, choosing to walk through the halls, smiling as she touched statues and ornamentation that brought back so many good memories. She truly felt at ease here. This had been her shelter when she was a child and even now she felt a comfort that she could not put into words. Her path led her by a balcony where she caught sight of Elrond standing with his back to her, his robe colored softly by the rising sun he seemed to be studying. Slowly, she moved behind him.

“Ah my sweet Annis what brings you into the halls so early you even beat the birds.”

She laughed softly and stood by him as the watched the sun rising above the trees, the dawn light playing gently on their leaves.

“No morning is ever quite as beautiful as one in Rivendell. The way the light seems to touch and awaken the life which was sheltered by the night.”

“Then with such beauty why do you choose Caras Galadhon and not your true home here?”

His words made her falter a little and she turned, moving towards a stone bench carved out of the same pale rock, which had created the balcony. She sat down and looked up to see eyes were studying her intently.

“I thought you understood, after talking yesterday. I need to see other communities and what they offer, not just this one.”

“I heard you, yet your words offered no true explanation of your actions. Until recently, your life’s path had never involved Caras Galadhon. So why now do you choose that over what you know is offered here.”

“Grandfather, I never had even thought I would have been called to Caras Galadhon. But upon being there I found my place, I feel a happiness that was missing.”

“Missing? So then you are saying all the times you spent with me here you were missing something. For you never spoke of missing something but freely spoke of the plans you had when you came to join me here.”

Elrond moved so he was standing over Annis. He looked down, his face a mix of hurt and the sternness she had seen when she was caught stealing into the unprotected forest. She sighed softly and grasped her hands together laying them into her lap. She did not know how to put what she felt into words, her mind playing the memories of Rivendell and the recent happenings in Caras Galadhon as she looked away from his intense stare. She felt his hand touch her chin and raise her face so she was looking at him once again.

“Annis I do not say these words to deliberately hurt you, but I feel the choices you make are guided with your heart, a very human thing to do. You know I have always acknowledged that when the time came you would join us for you never have fit into the world of your father. Your skills, your life path, are more than those of a warden. I know Galadriel has spoken to you of this previously. You must look beyond hurting your father by being a fighter, a protector as you call it, and start on the correct path.”

Annis flinched as he spoke. Had he spoken with Galadriel? What had been said? She felt hurt and upset that she had been a topic of conversation.

“Is this truly about my being a warden? Or is it something deeper?” She pushed off the bench and past him, her hand grasping the edge of the balcony so hard her knuckles turned white. “Or is it that I choose to be with one who you feel is not good enough for me? That I am no longer the little one who looked to you for all the guidance in the world, the one who always wanted to please her grandfather more than anyone else.”

“Haldir is an honorable one. His strength and loyalty will someday be written down in books and read to young ones. I do not feel anything negative towards him but you are naive, headstrong and unable to look past the entrance to the new world opening to you.”

“Naïve? I have had others…he is not my first. I have known pleasure before even here in Rivendell.” She turned quickly standing face to face with Elrond but as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. His brows creased together as he stepped back.

“Are your words meant to hurt me? Do you think I do not know whose bed you warmed the last time you were here? He was dealt with appropriately.”

Annis blinked and stepped back from him. Dealt with? Then….no he must have punished the wrong person. She struggled to speak.

“Nay, you can not punish someone when I was willing and if you did then you have….”

“Punished?” He laughed dryly “Were you about to say I had punished the wrong person? There was no punishment. Aye I struggled at first with what to do. The thought of telling your father crossed my mind but that would have sealed your fate for he would have never let you leave Minis Tirith again. No, I planted seeds in his mind. My correspondence laying a plan even he could not deny would be of the best choice for you.”

Annis shook her head. Plan? Elrond and her father had been planning her life. How could he do such a thing? She felt the blood rush to her head and her heart pounded.

“Why would you? How could you? I thought you loved me.”

“It is because of my love that I did what I thought was right. Maresto was promoted to a position that would be appropriate for binding with a princess. He is a fine warrior and leader so no one was the wiser.”

Hearing his name made Annis sit back on the bench, she looked down and swallowed deeply, the sound echoing in her ears. The night she and Maresto spent together flooded her mind. It was a foolish action, one brought on by the strong wine they had shared at a feast. A night, which for one moment had her believing she had found her place but as the morning broke it brought reason back to her world. She had departed quickly after the night and this was her first return to Rivendell since then. She felt Elrond sit next to her and gently took her hand into his own.

“You see, then, that sometimes acts of passion, longing, and a desire while fulfilled for a fleeting moment, were really mistakes to begin with. That is all I want you to consider. You have always planned on joining me, to live here in Rivendell and not in your father’s world, that I worry you are making a decision based on desire not rationally.”

Annis could not speak as she listened. Surely her heart knew what it wanted. Haldir was the one; she knew it… did she not? Elrond did not speak as he gently stroked her braid, touching the petals of the lilies in her hair.

“I know my choice is right. I feel him, our emotions are tying together, our paths are entwining. You have foresight; you know what the future holds.” She spoke in a sob-like voice. She rose suddenly and pulled her hands away from Elrond. She wiped a few tears from her eyes and then walked back the way she had come. Elrond moved swiftly and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

“Shh…I only speak with the knowledge I have. I want you to step back and look at things without your desire. Show the elf side, the rational side, that which you are to become.”

Annis pushed away and looked to him. Without another word, she turned and swiftly walked out turning at the first exit from the palace. Elrond watched her leave and sighed heavily. He held his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose, shaking his head gently.

“Why do you confuse her so Elrond?” Galadriel moved from a side entrance covered by climbing ivy so that it was hidden.

“I do not try to confuse her. I just want her to decide….”

“Rationally? Like you and Celebrían did when you made your choices.”

“It is not the same thing.”

“Is it not? I do believe the same words were spoken to both of you. Decisions based on rationally, not only by heart.”

“It was…we did.” Elrond stopped and looked at her. He could not fight her for he remembered the feelings he and his beloved had shared, the many discussions on waiting and the pleading to be allowed to be together.

“You see Elrond, just as Arwen had to leave Rivendell to fulfill her destiny, Annis will need to leave here. You know what she is capable of, what she holds deep within her and you can not deny that she will become great.”

“Aye I have seen what the future holds, or futures hold. You know as well as I what we see is only one path. Sometimes we have many paths laid before us leading to the destination at the end.”

“Very true, but then you should also know sometimes a path can cross another path. So no matter which one we take, an event, an individual may still be there.” She moved to stand next to him as she spoke, her face was soft and caring as she reached, taking his hand gently in her own.

“Galadriel, I only want Annis to see her potential beyond the wardens. You have addressed her, she knows a little of what she is capable of doing yet she fights it. She clings to the wardens and Haldir tightly.”

“Haldir is not the problem Elrond, Annis is. She has been denied the chance to experience what her heart has wanted, the flames fanned by Legolas and you.” Elrond looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “Aye, your stories of what a female may achieve when she is an elf. That no matter her sex she would be able to carry a sword and quiver. You may have not intended for her to believe she was to be a warrior but now she desires that more than anything.”

“She is meant for more than that. She is a princess, a wise woman, a healer. Why can she not see that?”

“Simple… she has never associated any of those with this life. She sees freedom from Elessar disapproving eyes. A freedom to fight, serve and protect the ones she loves. Until she has experienced that, tasted how it feels, she will never open her eyes to what her true path is.”

“But Maresto….”

Galadriel laughed lightly and walked to the edge of the balcony.

“Aye, a fine warrior and elf he is, but she has no desire for him. What passed between them was brief. Much like yours and Aragorn’s thoughts of Legolas being her love. Annis is strong willed.”

Elrond nodded and looked out. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he turned from the view.

“I can not accept what she chooses Galadriel, no matter what is said. I have seen a path, the path she should take.”

He bowed in respect and turned. He moved quickly away from Galadriel, leaving her looking over the balcony. She had a smile on her lips as Celeborn came into her sight. He waved as he made his way towards her.

“Ah my love, what have you been doing with your morn?” He kissed her cheek gently and took her hand as they walked towards the meeting forum.

“Oh I have been contemplating why your sex is so stubborn when it comes to the matter of a female child.”

“By the way you talk, should I assume your evening talk with Elrond has spilt into this morning?” Celeborn looked to her and frowned a little.

“I only want him to step back and allow things to play as they are intended to be. But now I fear that like a tossed rock ripples the waters, he has become the rock and the waters of life are rippling greatly.”

******
Annis moved blindly towards her favorite spot, a small clearing that unless you had the knowledge of its existence one would never find. She pushed through the over grown bushes which protected it from the eyes of others and sat on a rock. Her whole body went limp and she laid her head on her lap sobbing quietly. Her mind was full, confused. There were so many things running through it that it made her ill trying to settle it down. Slowly she raised her head, not bothering to wipe her eyes, and stared at a small creek that ran gently through the clearing. She heard the bushes rustling behind her and turned her to see an arm then leg emerge. Upon seeing who it was and she turned her back to the unexpected company then stood slowly.

“How did you find me?” She said as she moved towards the edge of the creek, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Easy, I followed upon seeing you leave the palace. I lost sight of you for a moment but since you were coming in this general direction, it was obvious you would be here. You always hid here.”

Maresto spoke softly as he walked to the side of her and sat on a rock watching the water, gently picking a few stray pebbles and throwing them into the water. Annis watched the pebbles sink and then sat onto the grassy ground.

“Am I that easily figured out?”

“Only to those who have chosen to study your habits and were sent to find you when you decided you were not going home with your father.”

Annis smiled a little and looked at Maresto with her tear-streaked face. He smiled as he stood up, and then knelt by the edge of the creek. He pulled a piece of his tunic out and dipped it in the cool water. Then knelt next to her and wiped her face. She laughed gently as he did this.

“Ah, but if I remember, you soon started to say you could not find me and then steal back here to sit with me. Those times were so simple, I wish I could go back to that.”

“Things can still be that simple again Annis.” Maresto sat next to her so his right arm and leg were touching hers. “Things are complicated because you have made them so.”

“I have made them? How could you say I have done such a thing?”

“Why did you choose Caras Galadhon? Why did you choose Haldir after all we have shared and talked about? The many times we have sat here by this very creek wrapped in each other’s arms, hidden away, dreaming of the time when you would join Elrond and make Rivendell your home.”

He paused a moment and looked at her. Annis sat with her mouth open as if she was to speak and stopped, looking away from him as she replied softly.

“How did you know about Haldir? Did my grandfather speak to you? Send you to talk to me and try to get me to be rational.”

“Nay, Elrond said nothing to me. Did you truly believe the wardens would not talk? They have no reason to hide anything. As far as they see it, Haldir and you are a fine match. I am disappointed that you could not bring yourself to be honest last night. His lady wanted to speak to him…” He laughed a little and laid back. “A very convincing act and one I should have seen through. For the Annis I knew would have never run from me as you did last night.”

“That Annis was young, naïve and unsure of herself. The one that sits next to you now is a grown woman.”

“You are wrong Annis, you were a grown woman the first time our lips met. From the time you weaved yourself into my heart you were already grown. Why do you desire him so? Do you not remember the times we shared? The night where we final gave into what we both desired for so long.”

Maresto touched her leg gently and rubbed it with his fingertips. She could not speak for a moment as the eyes, which had always intrigued her, caught her once again. The memories floated back. He spoke the truth, to a point. She remembered their first kiss which had taken place at this very spot, the young girl who wanted nothing more than to find her place in the world around her so she had latched on to Maresto. To her young mind, he was her way into the world, the one who would take her from her father and bring her here. She felt her heart beat a little quicker as the scene of her hiding her face against his chest, him raising her face and claiming her lips for the first time played. Soon after, the clearing became their meeting place. She would hide here knowing he would be sent to find her. Maresto was a good elf and had never pushed further than Annis was willingly to give for he was patient and a close friend. She had felt honored that he would spend the time with her and not with one of the many other ellith who wanted to be with him. Maresto sat up and gently stroked her cheek and down her neck, studying her intently with his piercing eyes.

“Talk to me, Annis, as we use to. Why did you run from me after the night we spent together? I have spent so many hours pondering what I did wrong. Replaying the evening, worried I pushed you too far, took more than what you were willing to give, but alas, I cannot find that I did anything wrong. I did not deserve that treatment Annis. You willingly came to my room and gave yourself to me. You said words that I had so desired to hear that I still desire to hear.”

Maresto had moved closer so as he spoke his breathe was caressing her cheek. She could smell the woody smell of the soap he used. She closed her eyes and fought a few tears back. She sighed, wiping the tears from her eyes and then shifted so she was looking at Maresto, slowly taking his hand off her cheek and holding it between her own.

“I do not have the words to explain things better…aye that evening I willingly went to your bed. I ran because afterwards I realized that maybe…just maybe the plans we had laid before us were wrong.”

“Nay Annis, we would have Elrond’s blessing, your father and mother’s blessing. I am not blind. I knew as soon as I was given the new position that Elrond approved. Stay here, bind with me, become my love, my one.”

He leaned over as he pulled his hands from hers. He gently, yet firmly, held her head by placing a hand on each cheek then leant over, capturing her lips, his tongue slowly pushing into her mouth. She gasped slightly which was the opening he needed to let his tongue enter her sweet mouth. Slowly pushing her back and shifting his body so he was laying slightly on her. She moved her hands and pushed against his firm chest trying to break from the kiss. Finally, he pulled away and looked down at her, gently stroking her face. She could not speak for what seemed to be an eternity. A rustling in the bushes made both of them look towards the entrance, but nothing appeared.

“Most likely just an animal.” Maresto said as he leaned in to take her lips one more time.

“Nay Maresto please…I do not desire you. I cannot go back and change what has passed between us. I love Haldir and no amount of words will stop that, I am sorry.”

She spoke softly, touching his cheek. Maresto dropped his head down and sighed. He caught her hand and kissed her fingertips.

“I can not force my will on you. Haldir is a worthy suitor. I trust he will treat you well. You will always be greeted with open arms, my dear friend.” Maresto slowly stood and straightened his tunic. “I must depart for the sun is rising higher and I am to sit in on the counsel of the elders.”

“Thank you my friend…for everything. I could not stand the thought that you hated me for something I cannot control.”

“No one could ever hate you Annis, no matter what you did. Now go and enjoy the rest of your day. I am sure Haldir has been called to attend the meeting too so maybe wait for it to break and show him where you grew up.” He turned with a wink and pushed out through the bushes.

Annis watched and smiled. She then lay back, looking at the sky above her, her hands on either side of her body idly rubbing the grass. She smiled and closed her eyes, trying to relax enough to plan her evening with Haldir.