Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Barad-en-Elei (Fortress of Dreams)	By : narcolinde Category: -Multi-Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2320 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings and no profit of any kind is earned by this story. Main characters and settings originally created by JRR Tolkien. Just for fun, no money earned. OC's and story are erobey's.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Part Twelve - Forgiveness

"There is nothing else to tell you. There is neither hope nor faith to succour me. Maglor denies our bond; he cannot forgive my deceit." With these words Elladan closed his account of the recent past and leaned in exhausted silence against his brother's chest, cold, numb, and grateful beyond description for Elrohir's support.

"This is all wrong," Elrohir said in bewilderment. "This cannot be."

Long hours ago he had climbed onto the sofa and gathered his twin close. Now he refused to let go, keeping Elladan wrapped up in his love and protection, desperate to vanquish the agony all these events had inflicted. Never would he have imagined such a fate befalling Elladan and his conscience assailed him, for had he not sent him away, had he not been so careless in the way he'd revealed his betrothal, had he not been so outraged over Elladan's desire for him, then mayhap none of this would have happened.

"Nay, this lies not at your feet, Muindor. Ossë was right. This is my fate. It is here, whether for good or ill, and so it has always been," Elladan denied his twin's self-recriminating thoughts. "Even if you had come with me and counselled against the course I chose, I would have done the same. I love him as you love Echuil'laer and my heart was lost that first night when I heard him singing, so forlorn and so lonely."

"Perhaps." Elrohir sighed, not knowing what to say or do for Elladan.

The storm had blown itself out and the air held a rank, raw oyster smell of stranded seaweed and beached sea-stars. It was twilight again, Elladan having talked through the afternoon and the night and all the following day while the tempest raged. Asmalindë had returned and listened along with Elrohir, filling in that which Elladan could not know, her tears and quiet sobs mingling with the twins'; her sorrow that of a mother's, filled with impotent wrath for her inability to mitigate any of Elladan's distress.

"B'rôna Kâno is a fool," she sniffled, wiping her nose for the hundredth time upon a damp and rumpled handkerchief. "When Jatmâ returns, I will go over myself and tell him so. He will listen to me, "

"Maybe," Elladan lifted his head to smile his thanks, but shook his head, for he did not believe she would succeed.

"What is to be done now? I will not watch you fade, Elladan."

"Help me get to Himling. Go down to Lindon and bring back a boat." He withdrew from Elrohir's embrace and sat forward, bare feet upon the floor, and stretched his arms above him with a groan ere he rose. "I need to hear Maglor say that he rejects me, only then can I accept this. Then we will decide what to do."

"Perhaps we should just go home," Elrohir suggested gently, standing and taking his brother by the arm, for while he was glad to see him upright, Elladan looked anything but well. "Given time, mayhap Maglor will open his heart and welcome you. If we leave now…"

"I cannot leave here," Elladan protested. "Himling is my home."

To that Elrohir had no reply, too stunned by the finality of the words to think clearly. He had assumed he and Elladan would always be together, dividing their days between Imladris, Lorien, and Arnor. His new bride altered the dynamic, but he had not believed his status as husband, and ultimately father, would change the pattern so much. The hard truth was that Elrohir had never considered Elladan would find a mate, knowing his brother's choice would not be condoned; a naive assumption, he now realised. He had taken for granted that he would always be first against any claim upon his twin's time and attention, Elladan's counsel and companionship his by right. Another had taken this supremacy from him; someone else was first in Elladan's heart now. Right behind this unsettling revelation broke a strong surge of jealousy and Elrohir found himself wanting to dispel the allure of this Noldorin Prince who had stolen away his best friend, the only person on Arda who truly knew and understood him.

Feeling all this turmoil coursing through his brother, Elladan smiled and grabbed him, hugging him close. "That is exactly how I felt when I learned of your love for Echuil'laer."

"Ai, Elladan, please forgive me," said Elrohir, distraught. "I didn't understand."

"Nay, no more did I. It is new for both of us. Before we had only one another; now we must learn to share." But there was sadness in his words, for Elladan felt it unlikely that Maglor would be making any demands upon him to stay. He exhaled in disconsolate fatigue. "Will you find us a boat and sail with me to Himling?"

"Aye." Elladan squeezed his brother's arm in support, seeing the flash of pain in the sombre grey eyes, thinking he would like to have a word or two with Maglor himself. The minstrel would pay dearly for the harm he'd visited upon Elladan, so much so that he might wish the cave-in had buried him.

"You mustn't blame him," admonished Elladan sharply. "It was not his doing. I am the one who pretended to be someone I am not; I am the one who brought pain to him. Maglor must be lost, succumbed to madness now that he knows Elros never returned to him. He cannot even come forth from the seclusion of the island, so broken are his heart and mind."

"Then why go there? Spare yourself that much, Muindor, for I agree with your earlier statement. Whatever wrong you may have done, you have more than paid for it."

"He has done no wrong." Erestor's voice preceded him into the cottage as he opened the front door and stood there upon the threshold, gazing in tender compassion at his favourite twin. "Elladan, Indorion, set aside any thought of that kind. I have been to Himling and spoken long with my Adar. He does not hold you to account for any of this."

"He doesn't?" Elladan peered at Erestor, owl-eyed and forlorn, for if Maglor was not consumed in sorrow and grief then it could only mean that Ossë was correct. The minstrel simply did not love him and never had.

"Nay, I could never blame you," came the fluid voice he loved so. Maglor pushed in behind his son and filled the open space.

"Maglor?" Elladan gasped aloud and started forward, halting in uncertainty, staring in bewildered confusion at the tall, familiar figure framed in the doorway. "You, here?"

"Aye, I would spe…"

His words were interrupted as Elladan closed the remaining distance between them, his hands coming up to softly cup the face before him, his head lifting to tenderly settle mouth to lips in a passionate kiss.

Elrohir's jaw dropped as it had not since he was forty and saw for the first time his brother's maturing body naked and hard and realised that was how he looked, too. His eyes swept over the scene, an ache assailing him that was joy and sorrow and embarrassment all combined, for never had he witnessed Elladan engage in so intimate an act with another. It was as if all of Elladan's heart was in that kiss and to see the Noldorin Prince seize control and kiss him back, clasping him at the arms, crushing their bodies firmly together, was nothing less than shocking. The embrace ended and the minstrel pulled away, carefully but firmly disengaging from Elladan. Elrohir could not see his brother's face but Maglor's eyes were bright and dewy and filled with such an expression of guilt and self-reproach that his heart went cold.

"Elladan," the ancient singer whispered, remorse and regret hollowing his voice. "I did not mean for any of this to happen."

"Yet it has happened. What are you going to do about it?" demanded Elrohir, halfway to his twin's side before Elladan could turn in the singer's arms.

"Nae, Elrohir, don't," he sighed as he went to his brother. Saes, your anger cannot force his love.

"Niena's Tears," mumbled Maglor, staring from one twin to the other, dizzied as past and present collided. They were so like the Mariner's sons, so like one another. He blinked and then reached out for the door jam as he caught Elrohir's killing glare, swaying a bit, unsteady and unsure as the room wobbled a hazy revolution through his eyes. He shut them and pressed fingers over the lids, a groan escaping his compressed lips. Beside him, Jatmâ secured a hold on his elbow both in support and encouragement. Maglor opened his mouth to answer but was cut off before he could sound a single syllable.

"How can you not love him?" demanded Elrohir, furious and in his anger reverting to a childhood trait, neglecting to recall that only he was privy to Elladan's thoughts this way. He hugged his brother harder. "You don't deserve it but it is yours and you would spurn a heart so true? You had better be mad else I will risk damnation and put an end to you here and now."

"Muindor!" Elladan exclaimed in shock, staring at his brother, seeing the fierce warrior who so easily dispatched the foes of Eriador, Imladris, and Lorien marking his mate among them. "Do not speak those words. He cannot help whom he loves any more than you or I."

"I never said I do not love you," stammered Maglor, frightened eyes travelling over the signs of illness and grief so apparent in his beloved's face and form. What madness, indeed, to remain apart from him at such a time. Right and just was Elrohir's wrath. "Elladan, I …" he began and faltered into silence. How could he ask anything of him after all this? Mayhap it was better for him to go, whether to Aman or Imladris, for Maglor knew not if he could heal the injuries he had wrought.

"Tell him!" demanded Jatmâ, giving him a rough shake. "No more of this. Tell him the truth. Has he not earned at least that much from you?"

"Yes, and I…"

"What truth?" cried Elladan, tense and fearful. Now that the moment had come he could not bear to hear the words that would seal his doom. Plain as leaves on a tree was the dismay on Maglor's face; this news could not be good.

"I think we should let them talk privately," interrupted Erestor, scowling frown travelling between Elrohir and Jatmâ with equal disfavour. "Our presence hinders them and such matters are of a nature not to be shared. Come, we will go down the the beach for a time."

"No!" the twins shouted together.

"I am not leaving him alone with that…that minstrel." Elrohir spoke as if the term was the most disgusting epithet known to elf-kind.

"I don't want to hear it!" Elladan's frenzied voice broke and he shook loose from Elrohir before his mind realised the door was blocked by the very elf he wished to escape. He paced to the window and found his brother at his elbow, clutched the sleeve of his tunic, grateful for his presence while mortified to be acting this way.

"Elladan?" Maglor's quiet query was laced with uncertainty and fear. Tentatively he edged into the room. "Is it true, then? Ossë claimed you could not truly love me after what happened in the caves. He said…but when you kis…"

"Ossë!" Elladan fairly shrieked the word and exploded out of Elrohir's arms. "Lies are his skin and deceit his bones! The marrow in them is pure malice and what flows through his veins is not blood but bilious jealousy and sadism! How can you listen to anything he says?"

The elves gaped at him in stunned, incoherent silence, for Elladan was not given to such vehement outbursts of violent temper. He stood before them wild eyed and panting, murder in his ravaged expression. Erestor cleared his throat and approached, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"He has done great harm and wronged you both, but his part is finished and he will hinder you no more. Set aside this anger and heed your husband's words, Elladan," he calmly exhorted. He let Elladan go with a gentle pat and reached for Elrohir, tugging him away. "We need to leave them alone," he instructed tersely when Elrohir balked.

"No, Elladan is not up to it; he has already said so. Let Maglor say what he would before us all, for if his words are fair and just and true then there is no need to shut them away behind doors and walls."
"Nay, it is a fine night and he has been cooped up in the cabin for days," Maglor objected, eyes pleading with his mate to consent. "I would speak with you alone but not because my statements are shameful or hurtful. Yet they are words only for your ears. What say you to a stroll along the shore, Elladan?"

Long Elladan gazed into those compelling eyes he'd come to adore, seeing what he had decided was love and wondering now if that was right or wrong, and if wrong how he could have made so grave an error. Was he so distraught over Elrohir's betrothal, so needy? Maybe anyone's attentions would have been welcomed. The kiss bespoke more, but his abused psyche warned that Maglor had kissed him thus that first night when this farce became reality and he became Elros. Was it only desire? Nay, for he had known that before and this was something else, something that made him more alive than seemed possible. Surely Maglor felt it, too. Yet he wondered, for how could he bind himself to Elladan and still think he was Elros? Would not such a bond reveal his very soul to his husband? Maybe they weren't bound at all, the union false like everything else between them.

He had to know the truth. What good was it to pretend when the sham was uncovered? Maglor knew he was not Elros and nothing could change that, yet knowing this he was here, begging leave to trade words. Mayhap he only meant to speak in person the doom that would crush Elladan's heart, but had he not hinted that love was possible? The kiss, the heat of it lingering, gave credence to that notion and Elladan softly touched his lips, a faint smile unfolding as he did. Gathering his courage, he breathed a heavy sough and sent Elrohir a determined nod.

"The stars will be bright after this storm," he said calmly, meeting Maglor's anxious gaze. "It would comfort me to see Eärendil. I will go with you." As soon as he said it the singer's eyes lit up with inexpressible joy and this inspired a corresponding up-swell in Elladan's heart. Pulse racing, he snatched up the sensation and let it overtake him, breaking out in a wide smile. There was hope. All he need do is apologise, beg forgiveness, plead with his mate for pardon. Maglor would grant it; surely there could be no other reason for the happiness radiating from the minstrel's soul.

"Muindor, are you sure? You have not rested since telling me this tale." Elrohir was not pleased, unwilling to trust the elf who had pushed his brother beyond despair. Worried eyes scanned Elladan's visage, pale and drawn beneath the overprint of giddy excitement. Elladan was clearly giving free rein to his impetuous emotions. Elrohir switched to scrutinise Maglor, all the softness leaving his countenance, the expression as threatening as the glint and glitter of hardened steel. The minstrel sucked in a harsh breath and tensed, eyes wide and wary.

"Ai, Muindor, I am fine, or at least fine enough. Be at peace and wait for me here." Elladan smiled, warm and content to be so loved, and reached into Elrohir's thoughts I must face this now before my courage dissolves again. He will not harm me.

He has already done so.

Have I not explained that it was not his doing but mine? He is here. It is what I wished and I cannot help but hope. Do not begrudge me the chance to make things right. Valar, would you have me broken-hearted or happy?

"Happy, of course," Elrohir replied aloud, a resigned sigh closing the words. He embraced Elladan and let him go, watching as he approached Maglor and took the hand extended to him. "Call if you have need of me."

"Aye," Elladan smiled. But do not come looking for me. If our talk goes well, then… He let a fleeting image of his favourite position scamper through his thoughts and chuckled over Elrohir's suddenly scarlet cheeks.

"Ai, Elladan," Elrohir managed, uncomfortable as he took in the subtle signs of desire both elves displayed. It was going to take some getting used to, seeing them together, knowing what they did with one another.

He followed them out to the porch and with a last warning glare at Maglor relented, watching them amble away hand in hand at a pace easy for Elladan to manage, the crystals on the bonding bands sparkling in the sun. It was not lost on him that they were supporting one another, leaning against one another and bearing each other up as they went. Reluctantly, he had to admit that was as it should be between mated couples. Like his brother, he allowed himself to hope. Erestor came beside him and he peered at the seneschal curiously, noting the strong resemblance to Maglor, amazed to known his old friend and mentor was of such noble and notorious lineage.

"Elo, Erestor, son of Maglor. You don't even like to sing." he scoffed. "My mentor, my childhood tutor a Noldorin Prince, the grandson of Feänor? Will you exert your claim upon the High King's Crown?"

"Enough. Silence your insolent tongue, whelp," growled Erestor darkly, his gaze filled with warning.

"Fine. Sorry." Elrohir shrugged and then glanced at his old friend covertly, serious now. "Were you there?" he asked quietly.

"What are you asking, Elrohir?" Erestor heaved a tremendous sigh and pressed his fingertips over his eyes as though holding them shut would prevent the bloody images from flashing through his memory. "Of course I was there. He is my father. Did I fight beside him? No, and neither did I fight against him. I am not a kin-slayer."

"Forgive me, I did not mean…"

"I know what you meant."

The sand was warm and loose between his toes, massaging the bare soles of his feet as he walked, and Elladan looked down to find Maglor discalced also. Further inspection revealed the minstrel as simply and comfortably dressed as he. With a rueful smile he shook his head; what a pair they were, both so ill and drained they'd not bothered with proper clothes and shoes. Both o them vain to a fault, surely this was a clear indication of the depth of grief to which their sore hearts had fallen, and that in turn a mark of the magnitude of their love. A swift check of his mate's eyes revealed he was thinking the same thing and they offered each other nervous, uncertain smiles.

"It is a form of proof I would choose to forego," Maglor said. "I prefer the rings." He carried Elladan's hand to his lips, kissing not the skin but the crystal-dusted wedding band round his finger. "The bond is true."

"Yes?" Elladan was beaming and returned the gentle pledge, lips brushing the cool glossy surface. "I felt it must be, yet so much of what lay between us was false."

"Not the important things," Maglor corrected. "What I feel for you has never been false. I could not realise it, so lost was my mind in the past, but though I knew not who you were, my soul recognised you."

"It was the same for me." Elladan's eyes gleamed in triumph and he squeezed the hand within his clasp. "The bond is true." Perhaps the rest, the lies and deceit, could be ignored, laid to rest given this one great truth. Yet even as that thought arose, his conscience demanded a full accounting. Let Maglor hear it all and make his decision again, whether to keep him or send him away. And in the deepest corners of his heart, Elladan needed Maglor's confession, too. He slowed to a stop and raised wounded eyes to his husband's. "Why didn't you come before now? Is it true you banned me from Himling?"

"It is." Maglor hated to speak those words but the time for lies was over. "I believed Ossë. He said you were never committed to more than proving him wrong. He said you claimed you could face your fate and turn from it at will, that it was your pride that was engaged and not your heart. He said that you had played your part and there was no more reason for you to stay. I could not face you and thought it best just to let you go."

"That is not so. I said those things before I knew you. My heart is yours, if you will have it." He gripped the hand in his so tight it was painful yet dared not let go, peering intently into the sombre face regarding him. What was spoken next determined whether he would live or fade. To his utter joy, Maglor smiled and drew him close.

"I will have no other," he said, "and to me you are bound. Nothing can change this. I was witless not to understand it and regret the hurt my rejection caused you. If I could go back and undo my deeds…Ai! So many things I would change, Elladan, but not our bond."

"I am glad to hear it." Elladan pulled back and stole a quick kiss. "You are here now and that is all that matters." So he hoped but it still hurt. It was clear there was much to be settled between them.

They walked on.

Maglor cast an uneasy glance over his shoulder, feeling Elrohir's glower fairly burning his skin even through his garments. "Ai Valar, I have seen that look before. That is Elrond's son and no mistake. He would be well pleased to stick me with a knife, that one," he said.

"Nay, for my sake and for as long as he lives, Elrohir will see to it no harm comes to you." Elladan smiled and found the minstrel's assessment of his brother curious. "Does he really favour our Adar more than I?"

"Yes and no," Maglor cast his mind back into the childhood days of Elrond and Elros. "Each of you is in a strange way almost an amalgam of the first set of twins. Your brother is, however, most like Elros: protective and bossy and just a little bit more arrogant than he has any right to be, yet…" he smirked but then stopped mid sentence, seeing the haunted expression flickering over his beloved's features. It occurred to him that what he'd said might very likely be perceived as a threat. "Ai! Your brother holds no appeal for me. Do not let that thought find a home in your heart. I know Elros never truly loved me and I can see now that in many ways I didn't love him either. Not well, not properly, not as a mate ought to love, not as I love you. I've learned whole new layers of meaning to that word since you arrived in Himling Cove. I have no wish to pursue Elrohir. My heart is content."

"Is it?" Elladan searched his husband's face anxiously and passed his tongue over lips that felt dry and hot. "I pray it remains so after our talk." What he needed to say would test his strength in ways no physical battle ever could. They reached the jetty where first he'd spied Maglor singing into the black and bleary night and he stopped, deeming this a fitting place. He swallowed and dropped his sight to the hand holding his, caressing Maglor's ring with his thumb. "There are things I need to tell you," he said, lifting remorseful eyes to Maglor's.

"Nay, you need not," Maglor shook his head but his denial went unheard as Elladan fell to his knees in the sand. Maglor caught his breath, looking down into soulful eyes girded with grey mettle and shadowed in black dread.

"I lied to you from the very beginning," he said, "though that was not my intent."

"Ai, Elladan please don't," Maglor pleaded, looking away with a grimace for this was not a pleasant sight. He would have moved aside but could not bear to lose the security of their connection, palm to palm.

"That sounds ridiculous, I know, for one chooses either honesty or deceit and I willingly picked the latter."

These words struck Maglor hard and he released a noisy breath, stepping back to study Elladan, bewildered. "Why?" he asked quietly. "Did you know then what I felt for Elros?"

"Ossë took pains to make it clear."

"So you agreed to abet the Maia in his duty, keeping me alive to serve the Silmarili? Ai, that is cold, Elladan." Maglor shuddered and would have broken away but Elladan held fast to his hands and would not permit it.

"No, not for that. I didn't know about the stones; he never said anything about them. What Ossë did was spout a lot of drivel about fate and doom and how I was a powerless wretch who could not master my own destiny. He baited me but none of his speech would have convinced me but for one thing: he put me in your path. Once I saw you, all his jeering words proved true. You were my fate; you are my fate." He paused, taking a moment to record Maglor's engrossed expression, senses taxed to their limits, absorbing every nuance within his words.

"I did not do it for his reasons," he continued, smiling gently, "for I deemed that would hurt you. Yet I could not help myself, for my soul knew yours right away. That hateful creature was correct; I could not turn from any fate that included you, no matter how daunting or dangerous or doomed it might chance to be. I did not expect that. I could never in my wildest fantasies imagine I would love you, though he even foretold that. I was prepared to fear and loathe you. And then you kissed me. Ai, Maglor, there was such love, such passion! I had never known the like before and I wanted more. I wanted it from you."

Maglor could only stare, mesmerised by this profession, spirit lifting with each syllable that fell from Elladan's lips, and he smiled.

"Did you? Valar, I don't understand Ossë's plotting. Why didn't he just tell me? That moment on the beach when I saw you, I did not immediately think you were Elros. I didn't know who you were, just that I somehow knew you, had been waiting for you. I wasn't well; I tried to figure it out. Ossë filled my head with nonsense about Elros coming back. I believed him and began haunting the beach, singing for Elros though it was you who came. It was you. Nae, if only I'd known."

"I tried to tell you; I wanted to tell you."

"Aye, I understand; say no more." Maglor tugged at Elladan's hands, suddenly wanting these painful revelations to stop, but Elladan was not done and ignored him.

"I wanted you to love me, not him, not Elros. He left you, abandoned you and never would I do that, never. Even when I went into the caves and thought…I thought you were feeding it. Ossë said…" Elladan felt his stomach clench in fear, for the next words were sure to wound. "He said you knew and wanted him to…deal with me because I would take the Silmaril for my own. I heard you that day when D'râk…left. When I found him, I thought you sent him to his death, and me to mine."

"Ai, Elladan!" Maglor winced and shut his eyes as this statement stung his soul. "I did not, could not, never! Did you really think I could want you dead?" Yet he had no need to hear an answer for it was obvious. Once a kin-slayer, always a kin-slayer. Maglor ground his teeth in frustration. "You believe me a murderer still."

"No, not anymore, but I did. Please forgive me; I didn't understand; I didn't know what to do." Desperate to make him listen Elladan squeezed the fingers in his grasp hard. "You turned from me; I began to think you had learned the truth and despised me for my lies, for pretending to be someone I am not, for trying to steal your love."

"No. I didn't really turn from you, Elladan, I only wanted you to speak the truth, to trust me enough to admit it. When you didn't, Ossë's warnings seemed viable. Why didn't you?"

"I couldn't!" insisted Elladan, heart thudding painfully. "How could I tell you it was all a sham and see the anguish that would cause you, to know I was the one who opened that wound? Nor could I bear to have you hate me; I would rather pretend to be Elros to the end of time than lose you. Please, you must forgive me, you must! It was wrong, I know it, but it was done for love. I cannot lose you, not now, not ever."

Maglor looked upon this elf, so desperate to gain his pardon, so terrified to be rejected, and wondered how it could be so. Did Elladan not perceive that he was the one making the sacrifice in choosing such a course? Could he not comprehend that it was Maglor who must be forgiven? With effort he extricated one of his hands and settled it on the pale cheek turned up to him, studied the dark-smudged eyes pleading with him.

"No, Elladan, you will not lose me," he said, smiling in answer to the relief this inspired, wishing he could collect up the tenderness of the kiss pressed into his palm for some later day when he might need to know he was so well loved as this. There was so much hurt, perhaps too much for them to bear, and he wondered if hearts so battered could ever heal.

This was not like his imagined vision, not in the least. Now that he had his noble warrior so humbled and contrite, it did not fill him with exultation but with disgust. The sight of Elladan debased, wasted and ill with grief, desperate and terrified and pleading for forgiveness sickened him. Slowly he sank to his knees, sad and tired, and wrapped his arms around Elladan's shoulders, drawing him near his heart. They leaned in, each head bent upon the other's shoulder. Soft lips grazed Maglor's neck and his heart skipped.

"Promise." Elladan's words whispered over his skin.

"My word on Erestor's life."

"I am forgiven?"

"Your actions require no forgiveness, beloved."

"But I want it," sighed Elladan. "I need it, Maglor. Say it. Say that you forgive me. Say it and then strip me down and make love to me, to Elladan." He slipped his hand beneath the loose shirt and indulged a lingering caress of the well-formed torso, fingertips providing the image for eyes that were closed in quiet contentment. He found a nipple and rubbed it just because he liked the way it felt, first soft and then rising hard and high.

"I forgive you," Maglor gasped out, stealing a quick kiss, the response so fervent and hot he was breathless even though it ended quickly. "Now you say it."

"Strip me down and fuck me." His hand had travelled lower and sampled the growing hardness in the singer's crotch.

"Valar!" Maglor shivered under the touch, copied it, groping Elladan until he coaxed a moan from the pliant body draped against him. "Not that. Say you forgive me."

"You don't want to join with me?" Elladan lifted his head, worried, and peered into the dark eyes, cupping tender balls crammed against the strained fabric of the pants.

"I do," Maglor groaned, hips bucking to enhance that sensation. Again he imitated Elladan's hands and was rewarded when his thighs shifted wider. Almost without thinking, he claimed lips already parted and waiting for him, loosening the drawstring at the waist of Elladan's pants and deftly reaching in for the erection. He stroked it eagerly.

"Then do, saes," Elladan panted, gazing at the mouth he'd just tasted so sweetly, and now it was he who mimicked his husband's tactics, digging into the trousers and fisting the rigid cock, the very heat of it against his palm tantalising. He matched his pace to Maglor's. "Oh, 'tis good," he added in husky excitement. Aye, they would share this, just as they had in their first days together, and then consummate the bond anew.

"So you cannot forgive me, Elladan? Saes, there must be a way I can win your pardon, for I need it, too," whispered the minstrel, and his manipulation slowed to a halt even as he reached for Elladan's wrist and stopped him. He found bewildered grey eyes upon him, frantic, the expression uncomprehending.

"I don't know what you mean. For what deeds must I forgive you? You have done me no wrong."

"Do you not see it, even now?" Maglor's sight filled with a sort of wondering awe and travelled the pensive face so close to his. "I failed to trust you, beloved. I placed conditions upon you, upon the fullness of my love. I suspected your intentions and grew jealous of something that was a complete invention. You never coveted the Silmaril for you own, but I came to think it so. All could have been rectified had I taken action and told you as soon as I realised you were not Elros. The caves, Maedhros' attack, even D'râk's death, all could have been avoided, prevented."

Their desire flagged under the pressure of these serious words and they remained still, staring into the ugliness laid bare by Maglor's confession. Elladan drew a great lungful and blew it out, reaching out to finger a tendril of ebony hair draped along Maglor's cheek.

"When did you discover the truth?"

"Not long ago. It just suddenly was so obvious and I was so startled by it. I couldn't fathom love like that, to cast aside one's persona in order to secure an eternal bond. Ai, Elladan, it was that morning when I made love to you, the hairbrush clutched in your hand the whole time. It was that brush, the way you held it, left-handed, the way your wrist turned when you drew it through your hair, the way your eyes turned to find me and make sure I was well, happy." His was silenced when Elladan sealed their mouths again, sucking at his tongue hard enough to wring a cry of delight from him. Yet he withdrew, with no small effort, laughing as he had to dodge those hungry lips and met Elladan's shining eyes.

"Am I forgiven, then?"

"You are," Elladan nodded, vision locked on the smiling lips as he lunged for them and caught them, devouring his beloved.

The need for words vanished and the two resumed mutual stimulation, though Maglor desired the sensation of Elladan naked against him and cast away his top, opening Elladan's shirt, shoving it down over his elbows and pressing against the bare chest thus exposed. Tight little nipples dimpled his skin and he buried his nose against Elladan's neck, inhaling his scent and then sucking at the flesh there. Elladan's cock was in his hand and how he relished that, feeling all the small thrusts and wiggles his touch evoked. The grip around his organ was tight, perfectly so, and he growled around the mouthful of skin as he bit softly.

Somehow they communicated the desire to enhance the skin to skin connection and each let go of the other's cock, hands working in concert to bring them together, shaft against shaft, a glorious, unified gasp marking the moment. Each captured the other's penis; two hands formed a single grip; eyes held eyes in avid longing as the quickening pace sped them to orgasm. The moment came and again their mouths joined, tongues languidly entwining as ejaculation anointed them with pungent and vital essence. It was over soon and yet the sensation lingered, warm and consoling, comforting and filled with promise, and they were content to remain thus, sagging against one another in the most luxurious manner, the susurration of the surf the only sound, lulling them into relaxed ease as the stars brightened in the darkening sky.

Maglor combed through Elladan's hair, a small spark of fear assailing him as he thought how near he'd come to losing him. That would be his death, that was inescapable reality, and the fear became terror. What better means to punish him than to take away this great, bright soul that made him whole, that loved him despite all his black and bitter deeds? A worse torment he could not imagine than living on forever, knowing he could never again hold Elladan in his arms, hear his voice, make love to him. He must have made some stricken sound for Elladan pulled back to peer at him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, only I just realised I am vulnerable, so vulnerable. If anything should happen to you," he swallowed, scanning the dear face, caressing the wan cheek. He longed to take Elladan back to Himling and there remain, hidden in the protection of the Silmarili, for the Powers would do nothing to jeopardise those stones.

"Nothing is going to happen," assured Elladan, kissing him, smiling, finding this too endearing for words.

"You don't know," Maglor shook his head. "They only care about those gems, nothing else. When Elros left, they could have stopped him. Instead they let me languish and suffer, pining for him. Elladan, I wasted four thousand years grieving for a myth."

"Ai!" Elladan could think of no appropriate answer to that. "Not a myth for you did love him."

"Did I? Nay, it only served their purpose to have me believe that. It is just as Ossë said: I kept his memory alive to punish myself. You cannot know how your Adar hates me for what happened to Elros. You cannot know how I have hated myself."

"Enough. Ossë is cruel and Elros made his own decision. Ai! I don't want to talk about Elros anymore." Elladan snuggled back against Maglor's chest and sighed. "Do not darken so bright a song with sadness," he pleaded. "Sing to me, Maglor, sing of us and the great love we share, the important work we do here. If it serves some greater purpose, can we complain? I have you and I will not let you go. Be at peace, for what have I done to anger the Powers or deserve punishment? Any harm that befalls you wounds me a thousand fold. They must let you be happy now for my sake. Rejoice! and sing to me, beloved husband."

Maglor straightened and held Elladan out at arms length, examining as if for the first time the elf he had wed, and so it was. Had he ever seen Elladan before, really perceiving who he was, truly appreciating the magnitude of the gift of such a strong heart? Nay, for when first he'd discovered Elladan, his love had been untried and untested. Now he had faced the worst and still his love held true, even in the face of the horrors in the Crystal Cave. Even believing Maglor the author of such death, he had defended him, ready to die rather than let the truth come out. Was he deserving of such devotion? Nay, and what had he to offer in return? Isolation from his family, his home, ousted from his life as a renowned warrior. He could not ask that; he would not. Swallowing a desperate sob, he snatched Elladan back against his chest, squeezing tight as the idea of letting him go tore him apart.

"Maglor? Valar, what is wrong? What is it?" Astonished and frightened, Elladan pried loose and lifted the bowed head, forcing the singer to meet his gaze. Such sorrow was there that has forgot to breathe and cold dread spread through his bones. "What? Speak, by Elbereth, speak!" He shook his husband hard.

"Elladan!" Maglor gasped out, fighting tears. "You cannot stay here at Himling."

"What madness is this?" Elladan demanded. "Why not? I will not leave."

"But your father, your family, your life in Imladris," he faltered under the irritated and angry glare trained upon him.

"What of them? They do not need me there to hold their hands and see them through every day that dawns. Elrond has Celebrian, Elrohir has Echuil'laer, Arwen has Haldir, occasionally, Erestor has Enerdhil, and Glorfindel has whomever he damn well pleases," he barked. "And Adar keeps the finest horses in Middle-earth. And all of them can ride. There are even roads and Avarin guides to help should my people suddenly forget the way to Lindon and lose the ability to read maps. They can visit me here. We can visit them in Imladris. My life is here, but I can still defend Imladris, with your leave, whenever there is need. What other excuses would you like to raise? Will we now discuss your wife in Aman?"

"Excuses? Nay, she …it was just a political marriage, no feelings involved on either part."

"Fine, then there is nothing more to part us."

"I just cannot demand that you give up everything to be with me."

"Have I no say in it? Would you send me away after all this? You would sentence me to Mandos, do you not know? Is your love for me so trifling?"

"Nay, not that! I only…" Maglor gripped him hard. "Elladan, I am unused to happiness and wary of joy. Please forgive me; I did not mean to suggest I would want you to go."

"Then don't suggest it, not ever, not even in hysteria or madness. Saes, I can bear no more just now. I need quiet and rest and I need you to make love to me, to renew our bond. If you deny me I think I will go mad."

"I will deny you nothing, nothing. All I have is yours, especially my life and my love. Yet I have more knowledge in these matters, Elladan. It would be better if we wait and…"

"You don't want to make love to me?" Elladan stared, crushed and stunned. "Why?"

"Did I say that? You didn't let me finish." Maglor kissed him, smiling gently. "Impetuous, impatient, and irresistible you are. And Itchy."

"What?"

"Making love in the sand. Very irritating to sensitive places and wholly uncomfortable, beloved, trust me in this."

Elladan gaped in silent disbelief a second or two and then laughed, snatching Maglor into a tight embrace. "I defer to your Ages of experience here on the shores of Himling Cove. Sing to me, then, for that is almost as good."

Maglor sang. The words and the music and the song were new. Even his voice was new; fuller, richer, more potent in its vocal range and emotional depth for his spirit was healed, his sickness cured. His skill exceeded even the excellence achieved in Aman before the days of the Silmarili, before the Oath and exile. He sang of all that had happened and though the tale was fraught with pain and sorrow and bitter fate, its theme was triumphant and could not be subdued. He sang of the past and the future, of those he had loved and lost, those he had murdered, those he had spared. He sang in thanks and in praise, in supplication and contrition, in mourning and in joy. He sang of penance and forgiveness, of desire and of sacrifice, of beauty and strength, of purity and purpose. He sang a song that filled all the world, that lifted beyond the heavens and bridged the sundering seas to ring through the misty veils on the shores of Eldamar, a mighty song, a glorious song, a song to last until the end of days. He sang of Elladan.

~ The End ~

ELROS

He became an important character so I got to know him. Dates and ages for Elros used in this story are all from Encyclopaedia of Arda and tolkiengateway.net. If I'm wrong I'll just have to live with it:

FA 532 Born

FA 538 Captured by Maglor and Maedhros, age 6 years old. Remained with Maglor and Maedhros until the War of Wrath, as far as anyone knows, probably fostered with Círdan and Gil-Galad.

FA 583 The War of Wrath. Elros was 51 at the time, fully mature by Noldorin standards for a whole year. He became Maglor's lover on his coming of age at 50. (in this story)

End of FA at 590 Elros is now 58 and openly living with Maglor, who is near to madness. (in this story)

SA 32 Elros becomes King Tar Minyatur - he is 90 and at this point made his choice to live as a human. It is not specified (that I can discover) exactly when this decision was reached, only that Elrond and Elros learned they had the choice from Eonwë after the War of Wrath. So in all, Maglor and Elros were together just 40 years. (this story)

Primitive Elvish Words and Names

All these words were taken from Ardalambion.

Asmalindë (Yellow Bird)

Barjânô (Protector)

B'rôna Kâno (Long Enduring Herald)

D'râk (Wolf)

Jatmâ (Bridge)

Ohtatyaro Nessa ~Quenya~ (Young Warrior)

Phaja Narwâ (Fire Spirit)

Rôda Maril ~mixed PE and Quenya~ (Crystal Cave)

Graphics of the crests of Feänor, Eärendil, and the Silmaril found on forodrim.org

Note

There's an Epilogue so that we can find out what becomes of Ossë, and learn a little about how the rest of the family copes with Elladan's fate. I should have it done soon. I am very grateful to dapper, ebbingnight, naledi, scarlet1061, starbreeze, and stef who have given me kind and supportive feedback on this story. I hope it is readable and this conclusion acceptable.
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Barad-en-Elei (Fortress of Dreams)

~ The End ~

ELROS

Primitive Elvish Words and Names

Note