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The Gift	By : mirasaui Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 9163 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Gift
by Mirasaui

Part 13: Under the Stars
The air had a sweet scent after the heavy rain. Droplets of water clung to the leaves of the flowers and trees refracting Ithil's light into hundreds of precious gems. Two elves walked the paths of the gardens under the moonlight, one with hair like the moon itself, the other with that of the sun. No words were spoken as each took comfort in the other and in the silent stars that shone above them, Varda's gift to the Firstborn.
"Come with me, Lindir." Glorfindel broke the silence, taking Lindir's hand into his own. He left the garden walkway and led his friend across the rain wet lawn to the line of trees that guarded the Last Homely House. Disregarding the main path through the wood, the Elda followed a faint trail that was just discernable to Elven eyes. Rainwater from branches that they brushed along the way fell as a fountain spray of adamant (1) upon their hair and clothes.
The barely visible path wound through bracken and scrub but the two elves stepped through it effortlessly as was the way of their kind. Soon the canopy overhead grew dense, blocking Ithil's rays until the darkness cloaked them in shrouds of black velvet. Glorfindel had not spoken another word since asking Lindir to follow and the forest too lay silent and still. Deeper they travelled onward into the heart of the wood, where ancient oak, beech and ash dug thick roots into the ground, guarding secrets of old.
The aged trees seemed to sigh with their passing as if they knew what lingered in the elves' hearts, their voice whispering songs of ages past. Here the air was heavy with moisture, forming a grey mist that sinuously caressed and wound its way around the darkened trunks, cloaking the silent figures from the outside world. There was power here; one could feel it in the ground, in the air, in the thick limbs and boughs that reached toward the sky. It was here before the time of the Elves; sowed perhaps by Yavanna when the world was new. Glorfindel stopped in front of a gnarled tree of indeterminate age. Reaching out he placed both palms upon the trunk of the ancient oak and beckoned for Lindir to do the same. The tree pulsed with life under their fingertips sending vibrations through their arms and into their bodies. A low hum emanated from the tree and seemed to thrum with the beat of their hearts. They became one with the forest, living the song of the trees.
Moments passed and still they stood, lost in another time, one with nature. As gradually as it had begun, the vibration stopped and the hum quieted. They were left with a feeling of peace and serenity. Then Glorfindel once again took Lindir by the hand. "Come," he said simply. They moved further into the woods, away from the ancient heart in a slightly westward direction, still following the faint path. Lindir opened his mouth to speak but Glorfindel placed a finger upon his lips and shook his head. They walked a little ways farther and suddenly the trees gave way to a circular clearing. The stars shone brightly overhead and in the center Ithil's rays lit a silver circle on the wet grass. Delicate white and yellow blossoms littered the ground, their heads just peeping above the plush green lawn. A shrine, it seemed in the middle of the wilderness.
"It is beautiful, is it not?" Glorfindel whispered. "I come here often. It is a sacred place. As far as I know, only Lord Elrond and I know of its existence."
Glorfindel led Lindir to the center of the clearing until they were both standing in the spot where Ithil's rays shone down upon their heads. Lifting his arms and face up to the stars, Glorfindel began to sing. The song was Quenyan, one sung in ages past, a tribute to Varda Elentári, the Lady of the Stars.
Lindir watched spellbound as a soft golden glow began to surround the Vanya. He could feel great power emanate from the ancient elf's body. Glorfindel appeared to call to the heavens and indeed it seemed the stars answered, for they began to take on a brighter glow. The deep, clear voice of the golden warrior was beautiful and as the song continued to flow from his lips, Lindir could only sigh in rapture. Other voices joined with Glorfindel's as if the very stars themselves were singing. The sound was as none Lindir had ever heard before, like a heavenly chorus, for the voices were singing with great joy and happiness. Such wondrous sound that it brought tears to Lindir's eyes and made him want to cry out in ecstasy and bliss. Another lovely voice joined the singers, harmonizing sweetly with the bass tones of Glorfindel. With surprise, Lindir realized it was his own, as he too had raised his arms and was singing with the stars.
The song ended, the last notes dying softly as the voices stilled to just a whisper then were gone. Glorfindel lowered his arms and turned to the elf at his side. Cupping Lindir's face in his slender hands, he looked into his friend's eyes, sky-blue to ocean. "Did you hear the voices? Did you hear the song of the stars?" He gazed hopefully at his friend, who could only nod his head in affirmation. "Yes, I heard them," Lindir whispered, his voice raw with emotion, "How...?
"Shush, do not speak," the Elda whispered, "lend me your cloak." Lindir undid the clasp of his grey cloak and handed the garment to his friend. Glorfindel spread it out upon the grass then lay upon it, his back to the earth. He motioned for Lindir to lie beside him. "Watch," the Elda said softly, "watch the stars."
They lay in the grass in the clearing, Ithil's light bathing them in a soft white glow. They watched, and as they did the light of the stars grew even brighter, until the whole sky was lit as if billions of candles illuminated the heavens. As if the moon forgot its routine in the sky and rose to couple with the sun, for it was almost as bright as day. Then without warning all the lights in heaven went out. The stars, the moon, all were gone. Only darkness remained. A void so deep and terrifying to Lindir it was as if someone had extinguished his very soul and he was afraid. Every doubt Lindir had ever felt, every bad thought, fear, prejudice, all evil that was within Lindir came to the surface and threatened to overwhelm.
What lasted but a moment seemed an eternity but with the same suddenness it was over. Ithil shone brightly and the friendly light of the stars once again peopled the sky. Lindir opened his mouth to speak but again, Glorfindel stopped him. "Watch," he said, and once more Lindir obeyed.
In the midst of the star field one bright star began to move. Soon others followed in a swirling dance across the midnight sky. As they left their place in the heavens, the stars seemed to move toward the two lying in the grass. And, in the center of the star spiral a face appeared; that of a woman fair with shining eyes and long, golden hair. The stars became a crown upon her head and she glimmered and twinkled as if she was a star herself. A slim white foot settled on the ground before them and the lady materialized in whole, her laughter ringing like tiny bells on the wind.
"Glorfindel, Lindir, Firstborn of Ilúvatar, you who sing with the stars, I hear your call and I answer."
Robes of white touched with stars and edged with gold cloaked her slender and graceful form, the long, billowing sleeves of her dress moving as if in a gentle breeze. She reached out a white hand and fingered a strand of Lindir's hair.
"Child of Ithil, you have seen much sorrow in your life. Stray not towards the dark but embrace the light. You hold a precious gift for the Music of the Ainur resides in your heart. Let it spring forth so that others may share in its beauty. For it is in the music that you will find your heart's desire."
The Lady smiled at the young elf who gazed at her with such awe.
"Elbereth Gilthoniel," Lindir whispered.
"That is who I am." the Lady replied, "Did you believe I had forsaken you? I am with you, always. Listen to my words. To know joy you must experience sorrow; to gain strength you must first show weakness. The answers lie within you, Lindir. What you seek you must first find inside."
Varda knelt and placed a gentle kiss on Lindir's forehead and where her lips had touched for a moment, a star appeared.
As Lindir's white locks slid through her fingers, Varda moved her hand to grasp those that were golden.
"Glorfindel of Gondolin, old friend, child of Anor. You ask for guidance but you do not heed my words. They do not always come from my lips but sometimes from the mouths of others. Open the doors that you have closed. Let in the music and the light. Listen to the one who sees inside your soul, for he is guardian of more than the Golden Woods."
With a smile and a silvery laugh, she was gone, the shining stars weaving their way back to the heavens where they once more took up their nightly position, smiling down upon the two lonely elves who bathed in Ithil's spotlight.
Glorfindel's eyes were like a mirror, reflecting the light of the silvery stars. He turned them on his friend as he felt Lindir's hand upon his arm.
"Why?" Lindir whispered, "Why bring me here? I am nothing to you and yet you share with me an event so wondrous that it has left me almost beyond words. The Lady of the Stars.... she spoke to me.... bestowed a kiss upon my brow. I can still feel her sweet lips."
Tears of joy traced a path down Lindir's cheeks. For he had spoken with the Lady that all Elves revere, one of the Valar, Kindler of the stars. His eyes shone with the wonder of her visit.
"You belittle yourself, Lindir." Glorfindel replied. "Since first I found you lost on the border, I have cared for you. I know not what The Lady told you for she speaks to each of us in her own way. But, tonight, she opened my eyes to that which I should have seen long ago."
"As to why I brought you here?" Glorfindel took a deep breath. "Many reasons, Lindir. All elves experience sorrow. We see the things we know die away but in balance, we also see new growth, new life. I have always felt that I saw more than my share of death and destruction and I let my grief run deep, holding it inside until it became an integral part of me. I sensed the same in you when first I met you and over time it seemed to grow worse. But I was so caught up in my own self-pity that I could not feel for any but myself."
"Haldir opened the door for me. We are much alike, we two. Always, he has been willing to share a shoulder for my sorrow. A step at a time, he broke the locks on the door wherein dwelt my despair and pain. This day, he set me free but I knew it not.
"After our argument tonight, I felt you had lost your way. Peace is our only salvation and I believe in that strongly. Men have faults but they also are Children of Ilúvatar. I thought if you experienced the music of the heavens that it would help you understand the place Men hold in this world. One day the Firstborn will leave Middle-earth but Men will remain. This world will be theirs to govern until the end of time when we all meet again and Eru decides our fate.
"I wished also to ease your hurt. For I knew that tonight, I would be the cause of your sorrow. Haldir, dear Haldir, I love him as I would a brother. Haldir spoke with me of that which was disturbing, of what I felt I was not ready. Haldir told me your secret, Lindir. He told me of the love you have for me."
With Glorfindel's admission, Lindir knelt in front of the ancient warrior and placed a finger upon Glorfindel's lips.
"Speak no more, Glorfindel. Let me tell you of my feelings. I have loved you since I first set eyes upon you, since I was no more than an elfling. Deep in my heart, I knew you would never return my love but I could not change the way I felt inside. You speak of faults but you are perfection to me. You are beautiful, my love, not just on the outside though you rival Anor itself, but on the inside as well. It is not only I who feels this way about you, for you are beloved by many of Middle-earth, all speak well of you.
"These years past, my love for you has grown until I felt my heart would burst. Yet, never could I speak to you of my love. So scared was I of your rejection that I forced myself to be content with loving you from afar. I also met with Haldir. He convinced me to tell you that which I never dared before. So, I am telling you now, Glorfindel, melin chen." (2)
The Elda tried to speak but Lindir shook his head. "This is hard for me. Even now, I tremble in fear speaking these words. Let me have my say before you tell me what I am sure must break my heart.
"From what you have spoken so far, Glorfindel, I know that you do not have the same feelings towards me. In my heart, I have always known it was so, though I hoped against all hope that I had a small chance. Now, that is taken from me. Yet, if you could in your kindness grant me one request, I would treasure it forever." At this Lindir's voice dropped to a whisper and his eyes, which had been downcast, turned pleadingly to his companion. "Love me tonight, Glorfindel, just this once, just this night."
Glorfindel looked at his friend with sadness in his eyes. He raised his hand and gently caressed a lock of moon-kissed hair.
"Lindir, I brought you here tonight to tell you that my heart is closed. I have never been in love, never found the one who was meant for me. It has been that way for both of my lives. I let those that I have lost steal a piece of my heart until I believed I had nothing left to offer.
"When first I found you; a dirty, half-starved, frightened elfling, held you in my arms, the heart I believed was dead, warmed. Yet, any cold heart would have been moved by such a child.
"As you grew, I took an interest in your welfare. As your rescuer, I believed I had that right. Before I knew it, you had cast a spell upon me. Every time I looked at you I felt its draw. I kept you at a distance, unable to let you go from my heart completely, but unable to come to peace with how I felt.
"I have nightmares, Lindir. I see the faces of the friends I lost over my lifetime. They call to me, plead with me to save them. I could not bear it if your face entered my dreams. So I backed away from the feelings I had and I built a shell around what was left of my heart. Haldir understands, for he has similar dreams, of this we have spoken many times. But never did I tell him of what I felt for you.
"Tonight he begged me to open my heart and live. I, as I have always done in the past, ignored his words. And, when he spoke to me of the love you had for me, my only thoughts were to turn you away.
For when you came of age, those feelings that I believed were special affection for a child blossomed into something new. A spell so powerful it rocked me to the core. I was bewitched, caught up in a siren's song of passion and heat. You haunted my dreams, my waking moments and I was lost. All I ever brought to anyone was sorrow and grief and I did not wish to burden you with such hurt. Never having known love, I was wracked with guilt and shame over the lust I felt toward a child I thought of almost as a son. For I could not see past the urges of my body, my eyes were blinded to the truth of what lay inside my heart.
I spoke to Erestor and Elrond and told them I cared more for you than I should. And they warned me away for they too, were concerned for your welfare.
"But Varda showed me what a fool I have been. There is music in your heart, Lindir, and it has been calling me ever since I first saw you. It is the music of one fëa (3)calling to another. Not lust, Lindir, love. And tonight, my heart sings for the first time to yours."
"Melin chen, Lindir, gur-e-guren." (4) "I will have you tonight and every other, if you will let me."
The stars grew brighter and a silvery laugh accompanied by the jingle of tiny bells floated lightly on the air. Sky-blue eyes locked with those of ocean and pure love flowed between. Ithil and Anor joined together in a flash of golden light, shining over the two as they found love under the stars.

Notes:
1. adamant - a legendary, extremely hard stone, sometimes identified as diamond or lodestone.
2. Melin chen. - I love you.
3. Melin chen, Lindir. Gur-e-guren. - I love you, Lindir. Heart of my Heart.
4. fëa - soul (fëa and hröa - soul and body)
Parts of this chapter were inspired by two stories: The Face of the Sun by Nildrohain and the Glorfindel/Haldir RPG Series at Rivendell-Reflections written by Leanan 2000, Ember Vixen & co.
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The Gift