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Azof and the Farmer's Wife	By : kspence Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 9835 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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They all stood staring as Slaglob finished his speech.

“That can’t be right!” the Hobbit exclaimed, frowning. “There’ll have been a misunderstanding, I’m quite sure. He’s bound to want to do all he can to help Azof, of course!” He thought over what he’d just said and began to look worried. “Perhaps – perhaps if I go and just have a quick word.” He bowed to Julienne and then hurried away, moving with a quick, trotting gait.

“Shaggers and Azof,” Burzurg explained, “ain’t exactly bezzy-mates.”

“You want to follow that Halfling Missus,” Melek advised. “Be best if you’re there when he speaks to the Captain as well.”

“Why’n’t we all go!” Slaglob said eagerly. “I don’t wanna miss this!”

The sun had set behind the mountain while they were talking, and in the Orcs’ hollow the shadows were deepening and it was getting dark. Untroubled by this the three Orcs went racketing along at quite a pace, following a path through scrubby undergrowth that was now all-but invisible to Julienne. They walked for only a little way, going downhill, and soon came to the edge of a stand of trees growing in a small, steep-sided depression in the side of the mountain.

“It’s the skinny bastard down there,” Burzurg said, pointing down into the dell. “See ‘im? The one wiv the armour, and all the hair.”

“Now you come to mention it, Burzurg, it is a bit OTT,” Slaglob agreed, “like he’s been down the military surplus shops an’ gorn an’ bought ‘imself everythink wots in the catalogue. But then he ain’t exactly adjusting well to life on civvy-street.”

“Carapace, carapace, will you do the fandango,” Burzurg chuckled, snickering. “The jessie. The tosser. That plonker! The big berk.”

“You’d never say that to his face,” Melek said. “You’d wouldn’t bloody dare!”

“Well? Don’t want to go an’ get my ‘ead bitten clean off for nothing, do I?”

Their row seemed to be escalating again so the farmer’s wife left them to their squabbling.

A large Orc was sitting on the ground under the trees at the bottom of the slope. At first all that Julienne could see of him was that where Azof was sturdy and stocky, this one was tall and spare. As Burzurg said, he was wearing quantities of plate armour and chain-mail, and he had a great head of long, lifeless hair. He and Ludlow the Hobbit were deep in conversation.

“- not interested!” the Orc was muttering.

But the Halfling seemed to be making a point in Azof’s favour. “You say that now of course, but he’s still one of us. One of our- your – our own!”

“Anyone who wants can go and get him and welcome,” the big Orc replied, “though I doubt you’ll find many takers.   Point I’m making is you’ll have a long wait to catch me doing it!”

The Hobbit sat down beside him and began speaking in a low, urgent tone; as she drew nearer, Julienne was only really able to catch the end of it. “Come on now, Shagrat,” Ludlow was insisting, “she’s come all this way! And she seems – nice!”

“’Nice’!” the Uruk Captain snorted. “You reckon she’s ‘nice’ do you? How ‘nice’ can she be if she’s taken up with Azof? Woman must want her frigging head read.”

“But you’ll see if you’d only talk to her. Why don’t you go and meet with her, at least.”

The big Orc shook his head.

“As a favour to me then. Please?”

“I said I’m not interested!” the big Orc snarled back at him, with a savage note in his voice that made Julienne quake with such fear that she didn’t notice that the Hobbit remained quite unmoved. “Azof’s made his bed,” Shagrat continued, “and now he’s bloody well going to have to lie in it. I won’t lift a finger to save the likes of him!”

Watching her footing on the steeply sloping path, Julienne hurried towards them. “Azof said there’d be no point coming,” she began as she drew nearer, “and I don’t have much. But if you’d consider helping him - anything I’ve got - you’d be more than welcome to have it –“

The attack was so quick and unexpected that Julienne was knocked off her feet by it.   The strange Orc jumped to his feet, grabbed and spun her, shoving her sideways against the rocks at the base of the cliff. As he held her effortlessly there, one long arm pinning her in place across her shoulders, he thrust his face into the crook of her neck, under her arm and then briefly down each side of her body, much in the same manner that Melek had used to assess her earlier; perhaps not attacking then after all, but certainly having a good – sniff.

“Say that again!” he snarled, breath hot and damp against her face. “What you said - about giving me stuff when you’ve not got much!”

“Shagrat!” Ludlow cried, appalled.

“I said you’re - welcome to it,” Julienne choked out, struggling feebly against him. “It’s not much but you can have it! Anything I’ve got!”

At that the Orc dropped his hold on her so abruptly it was as if he’d had his fingers burnt.

Julienne looked up to face him very slowly, as if encountering a dangerous animal, at first keeping her eyes lowered and her back pressed firmly against the rock of the cliff. The Uruk Captain had fallen back a few steps but was still staring at her. As the farmer’s wife got her first good look at him she saw that his expression was almost comically bemused.

No doubt about it, the big Uruk Captain had a very distinctive face. The right eye was missing and that entire side marred by what had at one time obviously been some horrendous injury, for the brow and cheek down to the neck underneath were raked with a series of long, narrow scars which showed thin and white against his mottled grey skin. Julienne, who’d seen the damage when it was still relatively fresh couldn’t quite believe it had all healed as neatly as that.

“Right then. Right.” the big Orc said at last, gnawing away on his bottom lip. “Change of plan.” His shoulders hunched and he sighed mightily. “Seems I’ll have to go and fetch the useless bastard after all.”

By now Melek and the others had made their way – cautiously - towards them.

“Lads’ night out is it, eh?” Burzurg said, rubbing his hands eagerly. “How many you planning on taking with you, Shaggers, then?”

“No one,” the Uruk replied.

“Think you’ll be able to manage?” Slaglob put in, doubtfully.

“It’s only bloody farmers, innit!” Shagrat shouted over his shoulder, stalking off. “If it turns out I’m not up to sorting it on my tod - how about I don’t even bother coming back.”

“I think,” the Hobbit began, looking nervously from Julienne to Shagrat and back again, “I think perhaps in that case maybe I’ll tag along with you then, shall I?”

“At night?” Slaglob exclaimed, nudging his companion in the ribs. “But it’ll be proper dark soon, Ludlow, you know.”

“Blimmin’ useless, Ludlow is, out an’ about at night,” Burzurg explained. “Straight up – ‘Obbits cannot see a bloomin’ thing when it gets dark!   Can you believe it? Me and the lads took ‘im out this one time. Us lot thought ‘ee must’ve been ‘aving a larf or somethink the way he’s going, but he just keeps on stumbling, an’ tripping over tree roots, an’ falling down flat on ‘is face –“

“If he’s such a dead loss, maybe you’d no business wheedling him into going with you in the first place,” Melek commented.

“Funniest bit,” Slaglob continued, ignoring her, “is when he walks directly into this over’anging branch, right, an’ this ‘azel –

(“Field maple” Burzurg murmured absently, correcting him)

“Awright, so this field maple stick gets ‘im, doesn’it, and almost has out his eye!” Slaglob crowed with laughter and used his hand to cover one of his own eyes. “’Ee’d ‘av been a proper little Captain then, eh?”

“Miniature version,” Burzurg agreed, as Melek shushed them, for the big Uruk Captain had stepped up briskly while the pair were speaking. He was now wearing a long woven cape, and carrying a small sort of haversack.

“Right. Me and him’s going, ” Shagrat said, nodding at his Hobbit, “so you lot better stay here and – I dunno. Hold the fort. Now then Melek. ” He stared at the smaller Orc for a moment, then shook his head. “Melek,” he sighed, “you’re to be in charge till we get back.”

“Oi! ‘Ow come she’s the one gets special privileges an’ you’ve only known ‘er two minutes, eh?”

“Because she – she’s the least worst suited for it.”

In spite of this less-than ringing endorsement, Melek was quick to assume the weighty mantle of temporary leadership. “Burzug! Slaglog! I’ve had enough of you!” she shouted, as the Uruk Captain strode away. “Off you go then! Piss off out my face! Go and help Maz with patrolling the boundaries or something!”

The two Orcs got up and left, muttering mutinously and with much dragging of feet.

“Maz has a new pack of cards,” Melek called after them, “and betcha the sneaky bugger’s got a fresh bottle of grog hidden up there too, look.” At that Burzug and Slaglob perked up a bit, noticeably picking up their pace.

Melek watched them go. “Little fella worries,” she told Julienne, indicating Ludlow and rolling her eye. “You’ll watch out for him, Missus, won’t you?”

“I worry when it’s just him and Azof,” the Hobbit muttered under his breath.

Julienne assured Melek that she would be sure to share her lantern with the Halfling and held her hand out to the smaller Orc. After a moment’s hesitation Melek gripped it carefully, mindful of her claws.

“Good to meet c’hu, Missus,” she said, “and I do ‘ope – once this business with Azof’s sorted out we’ll be seeing you up ‘ere again.”

The Uruk Captain however was already setting off.

“So?” he yelled, cutting short Juliennne and Melek’s farewell. “You coming or aren’t you?”

Picking up her skirts, Julienne ran after him. “I need to thank you.”

The tall Orc stopped, snorted, and turned halfway towards Juliennne, not quite meeting her gaze. “I’d leave off thanking me for a bit if I was you,” he advised. “Not like I’ve actually done anything on your account, as yet.”

“Perhaps,” Juliennne persevered, “but I want you to know how much I appreciate you changing your mind.”

He glared at the ground, muscles in his jaw working as he clenched and unclenched his teeth, then turned abruptly away.

“I’m glad to see your face has - gotten so much better,” Jullienne blurted, for want of something better to say – and then wished she’d held her tongue for the Uruk stopped dead in his tracks. Looking down his long nose at her, he fixed her with a hard, cold-eyed stare.

“I put spit on it,” he conceded at last, snorting again wryly. “Didn’t have much else to hand - as you might’ve noticed, but Orc spit’s got – stuff, in it – “

“Special stuff that helps with the pain and healing?”

“That’s right.” The Captain seemed surprised. “Told you about that, did he?”

“Yes,” Julienne nodded. “In happier times.”

“Happier times?” the big Orc was incredulous. “With Azof?” He regarded her seriously for a long moment. “You can tell me it’s none of my business and welcome, but I reckon you should be able to do better. Much better.”

Julienne shrugged. “He suits me,” she said.

The Hobbit had joined them and was now looking from one to the other and back again. “Do you - do you two know each other, or something then?”

The big Orc nodded once, sharply. “Little bit.”

“Not really,” Julienne said, “but we’ve maybe – met.”

“It was just after the end of the war. I on the bones of my arse, when she -” the Uruk began, then broke off, darting a sidelong look at Julienne. “And I’ve heard what they say about women and mumakil, but I didn’t reckon there’s much chance she’d remember. Not that that mattered, though, ‘cause I did.“

“Well, hardly,” Julienne replied. “Not because of you,” she added hurriedly, in response to the Uruk’s pained expression, “it’s because I’d not long broken with my husband. I had to go to market to sell all my things. That’s why it’s a day I’m not likely to forget.”

“Yeah. I remember. ‘Cause as it happens I’d been having - a – a run of bad luck, too. Cold day, snow – bloody freezing! An’ there I am stuck out in the middle of it. Not feeling too clever ‘cause I’d just had a ruddy good hiding on top of it, then this one –she – what did you say your name was, again?”

“Julienne,” replied, and reconsidered. “It’s ‘Jules’.”

The Orc crooked an eyebrow at her but made no comment. “So, Jules here comes up, doesn’t she, and says to me, do I want this extra coat it so happens she’s got. And then I - ” he broke off again, shaking his head and staring at her as if he couldn’t believe his own memory.   “Well, I graciously accept.”’

“That’s it?”

Julienne could allow that it had happened something like that, but her own recollection of the day was a little different.

TBC
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Azof and the Farmer's Wife