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The Long and Winding Road	By : kathmco Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2998 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Discer: er: I seek only to borrow from Tolkien's genius, and do not seek to profit from this writing in any way.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and review! A quick note to Dragoneyez - I'm working off of the assumption that Elves could control procreation…in this story they're so promiscuous that if they couldn't, Arda would be a giant Elven baby factory! Eek…plot bunny alert!

Chapter 16

Calla walked into the talan, finding Haldir and Legolas sitting at the small table near the window, waiting for her. She didn't like the look on either of their faces as they turned to see her walk in.
"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, a frown creasing her brow as Haldir rose to meet her.
"Come and sit down, Calla…we need to speak with you," he said, putting a hand on her elbow and steering her to a chair.
"Calla, Lord Celeborn has reminded us of a few things that we have unfortunately forgotten to discuss with you. Important things…things that may very well change your feelings of our relationship," Haldir began. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, standing behLegoLegolas. They both looked at Calla with a mixture of sadness and regret in their eyes.
"What? cou could he possibly tell you that would change my mind about the three of us? I don't understand, Haldir."
"Calla," Legolas whispered, reaching across the table to take her hand in his, "we are immortal."
"Duh. I knew that from Tolkien, remember?"
"But Calla…you are not," Haldir explained, his eyes unable to meet hers.
"Duh, again."
Legolas shook his head, and looked up at Haldir. "She does not understand, Haldir…"
"Calla," Haldir tried again to explain, "You will grow old, and eventually your body will begin to fail. Ours will not. How would it make you feel to see us as we are now, while you grow weak and frail?"
Comprehension dawned on Calla's face, but her reaction was nothing like Haldir and Legolas had imagined. They had been prepared for tears and pleadings, not the raging female they now faced across the table.
Calla snatched her hand from Legolas' grasp and stood up, her eyes flashing fire. "Do you two think that I'm a complete moron? I know I can't stay here, as much as I'd love to…I know I have to go back. I never intended to stay. I know that if I did, I'd grow old and crotchety, while you two would remain wrinkle-free and gorgeous. I know that you'd be boinking every elleth in town, while I'd be sitting around knitting, with a herd of cats crawling all over me. How dare the two of you just assume that I thought this relationship would be forever? In fact, I don't even recall your asking me to stay in the first place, and even if you did, the answer would have been 'no!"
Haldir's mouth dropped open at Calla's outburst. "What do you mean that you had no intention of staying with us? You agreed to this relationship!"
"I know I did - but you never indicated that it was a long term relationship! I thought you meant just until we could take care of the whole translation thing, and you could get me back over the mountains! "
"Calla, do you think so little of us that you could so easily give us up?" Legolas asked, the hurt in his eyes evident.
"Do you even hear yourself? Isn't that why you both needed to talk me - to explain why it couldn't be a long term relationship?" Calla asked, hands on her hips, glaring at the two of them for trying to turn the tables on her.
"Yes, but…but…" Haldir sputtered, unsure of when and how he had lost control of the conversation.
"Yes, but, nothing! It was perfectly okay when you two were the ones to set the limits on the relationship, but you can't deal with me saying it's only temporary, right? You're both chauvinistic pigs!" Calla was fuming, turning on her heel stomping out of the t, sl, slamming the door behind her, leaving Haldir and Legolas stunned and sng ang at one another.
"Why did she call us pigs? We look nothing like swine," Legolas asked, perplexed.
"Who knows why she says half of the things she does - she once called me a toad," Haldir said, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders. "I suppose we should go after her and apologize."
"Apologize for what, Haldir? What did we do?"
"I don't know, but we had better apologize anyway. You haven't felt her try to twist your ears off of your head - I have. Believe me, it's better to just apologize."

They found her just below the mallorn of Haldir's talan, her fists still clenched and shoulders tightened with anger. Walking to either side of her, the two Elves looked down at their feet while mumbling an apology.
It didn't work.
She turned on them in a flash, not caring that her voice carried through the forest, causing Elves to look up from their tasks with raised eyebrows. "You have got to be kidding! You don't even know what you're apologizing for, do you? Elves! Argh!" she cried, brushing past them and stalking off into the forest.
Following her, the two Elves repeatedly tried to get her to stand still long enough to listen to their apology, but she kept slipping away. Finally, Legolas had had enough.
The next time he was close enough, he grabbed her bodily, slinging her oves shs shoulder. "We shall continue this discussion in the privacy of Haldir's talan!" he said sternly. Haldir cringed, because he knew exactly what was coming.
"OW! OW! Let go!" Legolas cried, dancing around in a circle, trying vainly to get his ear out of Calla's iron fisted grip.
"Then put me down!" she yelled, twisting harder.
"No! OW! Not until you agree to listen to us! OUCH!"
"Put me down! You don't deserve for me to listen!"
"You will listen! OW! Let go of my ear!"
"Not a chance, Elf! I can hold out longer than you can!"
"OW! I have been in battle, woman! I have survived orc attacks! I can put up with the pain! OW!"
"Orcs don't twist ears, pal! Put me down!"
"NO! OW!"
Haldir could take no more. He burst out into laughter, guffawing, snorting, and nearly bending over in half.
The sound of Haldir's outburst shocked Legolas and Calla into stillness, as they both stared at the laughing Elf, who had tears of mirth streaming down his face. "You should see the two of you! I…you…snort! Haldir dissolved into laughter again, unable to continue.
A smile ticked the corner of Calla's mouth, as she realized just what a sight the two of them must be, for the stern and proper March Warden to break down laughing like a loon in the middle of the Golden Wood. She looked down at Legolas, whose own was was trying desperately to make an appearance on his handsome face.
"Truce?" she asked him, unable to hold back her smile.
"Truce," he answered, his own grin escaping his hold.
Calla bent forward to kiss the tip of his ear, which was nearly glowing a bright, cherry red. He set her down, immediately claiming her lips with his in a kiss that was more clacking teeth, since both were still grinning.
"We are sorry, Calla. I understand now, I think…we thought to tell you that our relationship could only be temporary, not realizing that it was possible for you to already think that way…am I right? We were presumptuous," Legolas said, brushing his hand to her cheek.
"Well…they can be taught!" Calla replied, still smiling. "No one likes to be taken for granted, Legolas. I'm not some backward innocent - I knew what the story was when I accepted the both of you. I'll miss you terribly, though," she admitted, sobering for a moment.
"Not nearly as much as we'll miss you, little one." olasolas kissed her again, much more successfully than the last time.
They turned to look at Haldir, who was still snickering, now sitting down on the forest floor, holding his sides.
Legolas cleared his throat, attempting unsuccessfully to get Haldir's attention. "I think perhaps you had better get his attention, Calla - he doesn't seem to be paying me any mind," he said with a smirk.
Calla bent down and made a motion to grab Haldir's ear. A hand flew up in an instant clamping down on her wrist, pulling her down to sit on Haldir's lap. He smiled into her eyes, mock-growling at her attempt to get his attention.
"Well," Calla said, looking into his gray eyes, "I'm waiting…"
Haldir sighed, brushing a stray hair from Calla's face with his fingers. "I am sorry for being such a…a…swine."
"Pig. Chauvinistic pig. It means that you think you're superior simply because you're a male."
"I never thought that! I…"
"Haldir, do not start again. Please just apologize for being the dimwitted, unfeeling idiot you have been, as I did, so we can go home," Legolas said, sharply interrupting Haldir before he could completely insert his foot into his mouth again.
Haldir looked into Calla's eyes, seeing the flickering beginnings of anger in their depths again. "I am sorry I was presumptuous. I never meant to take you for granted. Please forgive me," he ended with a whisper, the last word muffled as his lips met Calla's.
She smiled when he broke the kiss. "I forgive the both of you. Let's go home, I feel the need to show you both just exactly how much I forgive you!"
"We really need to get some rest…we journey to Rivendell in the morning," Haldir replied, standing and taking Calla's hand. He brought it to his mouth, brushing her knuckles with his lips.
"Something tells me that it won't take very long," Calla grinned, looking pointedly at the large bulge in the front of Haldir's leggings.
The trio made their way back to Haldir's talan, where they quickly proved Calla correct in her assumption.
- 15
- 16
- 17
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The Long and Winding Road