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Greenleaf & Imladris 29 - Aduial: Soul of a Knight	By : MPB Category: -Multi-Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 6315 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter XVII: Stirrings

It was during a walk along the pristine shores of the Bay of Eldamar that he received the answer to his fears. Nearly a score of years had passed since the Elf-knight had reached his majority. There was no trace of the newly come-of-age Elf; as a rule, elven rebirth led to swift maturation that a returned Edhel might continue with his life soonest.

Legolas watched somberly as Elrohir picked up a stone and threw it into the waves. The twin seemed out of sorts this breezy afternoon.

“What ails you?” Legolas asked curiously as the warrior glared at the endless sea.

Elrohir sighed and turned back to face him. He pursed his lips in that oh-so-familiar and therefore endearing manner that betrayed frustration. “There must be something wrong with me,” he replied. At Legolas’ surprised reaction he went on to explain testily, “They say our faults are corrected in the Halls of Awaiting. It makes me wonder if this particular fault of mine has been stripped from me.”

“What fault do you refer to?” Legolas queried.

“My passion, it seems,” Elrohir answered with a scowl.

The prince stared at him in surprise. “What?” he scoffed. “What do you mean? I have seen you look at others with the same interest you once took in the Elves of Middle-earth. You cannot pretend you feel no desire.”

“Desire, aye, I do feel it,” the twin agreed. “How can anyone not notice the beauty of the Eldar of Valinor? But beyond that I falter.” He snorted with disgust. “Do not laugh, Legolas, but I have been chaste since my coming-of-age.”

Legolas gaped at him. To Elrohir, the archer’s reaction was understandable, thinking as he did that it was disbelief that drove him to silence. The word chastity and the names of Elrond’s sons were rarely if ever uttered together. Even within the eternal bounds of comfortable monogamy with binding-mates, their need for the pleasures of physical coupling continued unabated. Elladan’s relationship with Nimeithel was already talked about in Eldamar for its intensely passionate nature.

But Legolas was not rendered speechless by incredulity. Rather he was reduced to dumbness by active relief. To know for certain that something stayed the Elf-knight’s usual predilection for bed-play no matter how casual was an unexpected boon in the midst of Legolas’ longing-driven gloom. Elrohir was still his and his alone. He drew in a shaky breath and silently uttered a prayer of thanks to the Valar for sparing him further pain.

Of a sudden, he remembered Gimli’s sage counsel of more than thirty years past. “What stays you?” he asked, just this side of giddy from anticipation of the answer. “Is it simply lack of passion or—?”

“I seem to have become more discriminating in my taste,” Elrohir said. “I constantly compare them all and find them wanting.”

“Wanting in comparison to—?” Legolas pressed on.

Elrohir blushed of a sudden. “Please, do not be offended but I compare them to—well, to you. But there is none in all Valinor to match you.” This last ended almost in a whisper. “I hope you do not take this as disrespect to you, Legolas,” he hurried on. “‘Tis not that I use your image as—as—” The blush grew deeper as the Elf-lord grew ever more uncharacteristically embarrassed.

But for his centuries-honed discipline and well-ingrained prudence, Legolas might have taken him right then and there. As it was, it was all he could do to keep from pulling Elrohir into his arms and kissing him senseless.

“I am not offended,” he gently assured his unknowing spouse. If anything, he felt much heartened. Not to mention flattered.

“I only mean that I admire you and think you the comeliest Elf in Valinor,” Elrohir explained seriously, calmed by Legolas’ manner. “I cannot help but envy your mate that he won you. Would that I be so fortunate as he when the time comes.” He sighed then complained: “Not that anything will happen if I continue to be so selective!”

His heart swelling with full-blown relief, budding elation and bursting affection, Legolas patted his Elf-knight’s arm comfortingly.

“Mayhap ‘tis just a passing phase,” he said with a genuine grin. Inwardly, he fervently hoped it was not and would remain thus until fate or time saw fit to restore Elrohir to him in full.

*********

Taur Galen FA 230

The forest river was swift-moving and oft cold even at the height of summer. But that little troubled the Elves who enjoyed its bracing waters. Elladan grinned as his twin looked longingly at the rushing flow.

“If you truly wish to take a swim, do not let us hinder you,” he said.

At his side Legolas chuckled and said: “Indeed, I will join you, Elrohir. ‘Tis a blazingly hot day. What about you, Elladan?”

The older twin shook his head. “I am more inclined to take a nap in the shade of this tree,” he replied, suiting action to words.

They had gone hunting together in the great forest at the western feet of Túna that morning and had brought down a goodly number of game for the royal pantries. But instead of returning to the Elvenking’s halls, they had sent the other hunters ahead and headed for the river instead. Elrohir had expressed a desire for a quick dip in its cool waters.

Elladan watched a while as his brother and friend swiftly stripped before diving into the river. He smiled and allowed himself to drift into light slumber.

He and Nimeithel had come to Taur Galen for a whole summer’s visit with her parents. Naturally, Elrohir had insisted on coming with them that he might spend the season with Legolas. The past month had been most refreshing for the brethren, affording them the luxury of a spell of duty-less freedom.

While Elladan dozed, Legolas and Elrohir tested their mettle and strength against the river’s powerful current. Battling the fierce flow, they soon reached the great falls that fed Taur Galen’s main tributary. Avoiding the perilous roiling whirlpools at the fall’s turbulent base, they clambered out onto the rock-strewn banks and rested upon the mossy boulders awhile.

Lying atop one flat boulder, Elrohir regarded the clear skies with a contented sigh. Legolas grinned, pleased to see him enjoying himself.

“That was a great buck you brought down,” he praisefully remarked. “I believe ‘tis the same one that has eluded our hunters for many months now.”

Elrohir smiled. “‘Twas a cunning beast,” he said. “I almost thought to let it go.”

“Why didn’t you?” Legolas inquired.

“He was the only stag we came across. And you like venison.”

Legolas looked at him fondly. “Thank you,” he softly said.

“Don’t mention it.”

At length, Legolas rose to his feet and looked anon at the river. “Shall we walk back or swim?” he said.

“Swim,” Elrohir answered, moving to get to his feet as well. He stopped suddenly as his gaze fell on the fair archer.

Legolas noted the startled look in his eyes. One would think he had never seen his friend before.

“Elrohir?” he asked wonderingly. “What is wrong?”

The Elf-knight shook his head but his eyes seemed clouded with confusion. “Nothing,” he said hoarsely. “Come, let us return to Elladan.”

He did not wait for Legolas to join him but dove at once into the river once more. Puzzled, Legolas followed him.

The archer was even more bemused when they returned to where Elladan now awaited them. Elrohir hurriedly drew on his clothes and kept his gaze averted from the archer. That struck Elladan as odd while Legolas did not quite know whether to feel troubled or hurt.

“Muindor”—brother—“what is it?” Elladan questioned him. When Elrohir would not reply, he softly added: “You will lead Legolas to believe that he has wronged you in some way.”

Elrohir quickly looked at the prince and noted his chary mien. Drawing a shaky breath, he reached out and gripped Legolas’ hand.

“Forgive me if I was abrupt,” he said. “I was only beset by something I never expected.”

“And what is this thing?” Legolas asked quietly.

“I cannot tell you,” Elrohir replied. “Not now. Please, do not think that I do not trust you, Legolas. ‘Tis only that—”

The prince gently silenced him by placing two fingers against his lips. It was clear Elrohir had been taken unaware by some unexpected thought or feeling. He was not offended that the Elf-knight would not confide in him. Just as there were matters that Elrohir told him but not Elladan, so were there things better suited to Elladan’s ears than the archer’s. Apparently, this was one of the latter.

“I understand,” he said.

That evening, Elrohir did not come down to dinner but sent his excuses instead. Worried, Elladan sought him in his room. Memories of times past continued to afflict his brother, some disturbing enough to dismay the intrepid Elf-knight. But then that was not unexpected considering the uncertain life they had all known and survived in Middle-earth.

He found Elrohir seated before the hearth, staring with haunted eyes into the fire.

“Gwanneth?”—younger twin? “What is wrong?” he softly inquired, sitting down by his twin.

Elrohir scarcely looked at him. “When I lay down to clear my head, I saw a vision. Images of him – with me.” He shook his head. “I cannot put it into words.”

Elladan regarded him thoughtfully then reached out tentatively with his thoughts. Elrohir felt the light inquiring probe. Acceding, he opened his mind and completed the connection between them.

It was controlled of course. Even with his twin, Elrohir never revealed all that passed between him and Legolas. Not all words or thoughts or deeds.

Elladan allowed the flow of images to register on his own mind’s eye. He saw a candlelit room and recognized it as Legolas’ old bedchamber in Greenwood. Saw his brother and the woodland prince talking, about what Elrohir did not reveal. And then it came – brief but vivid images of sable and gold mingling upon snowy sheets and pristine pillows, two bodies straining and joining in love-play, the sounds of imminent completion...

Elrohir withdrew from their link then but it was enough for Elladan. He knew what his twin had recalled.

The Elf-knight drew in a shuddering breath before looking squarely at Elladan. “Did I – did I ever – lie with Legolas?” he whispered.

Elladan hesitated then said: “Aye, you did.”

“Why?” Elrohir gasped. “Why in Arda did I bed my own friend?”

“He was not the only friend you bedded in all your years, Elrohir,” Elladan reminded him.

“But he was my dearest one,” Elrohir fiercely countered. “How could I have demeaned him?”

“You did not!” Elladan objected. “Legolas willingly yielded to you.”

“For what reason, Elladan?” Elrohir insisted. “There must have been a good reason for him to have done so.”

Elladan pondered what to say. The temptation to tell Elrohir everything was very great. But judging from his reaction, it would be unwise. Legolas had been right. Were he to reveal their binding to his brother now, Elrohir would just as passionately throw himself into attempting to feel something of his love for the archer and, possibly failing under such forced circumstances, would endlessly fault himself for disappointing Legolas.

“There are times when friendship can lead to intimacy,” he carefully pointed out. “You and Legolas were extremely close. It so happened that you sought intimacy with each other during certain – straits in your long association.”

“What straits?”

Elladan sighed. His twin could be so tenacious. “You – developed an obsession for him,” he honestly related. “He chose to succor you rather than lose you. ‘Twas your first joining in Mirkwood that you envisioned.” Taking Elrohir’s incredulity in stride he continued. “And then when mother had to leave for Valinor, Legolas comforted you in the only way that seemed to reach you. The last time you coupled with him before – before he fell in love with – his mate – was after a terrible quarrel that near sundered your friendship.”

Elrohir swallowed hard. “I touched him in that manner?” he said in a hushed voice. “And he stayed my friend?”

“He did not think it too high a price to pay for the regard you had always shown him,” Elladan said. “Do not fault yourself in this.” He looked at his brother curiously. “What recalled to you your intimacy with him?”

Elrohir swallowed again. “At the river,” he murmured. “When we got to the falls and rested, I suddenly – saw him in another way. I was – I was overcome by his – his bared magnificence.” At Elladan’s choked gasp, he glared at him. “‘Twas not intentional! I had not thought of him that way before. Not even when I compared him to all those who sought to woo me!”

Elladan met his twin’s troubled gaze. “Did his mate know about us?” Elrohir asked. “I cannot bear the thought that I may have unwittingly caused discord between them!”

“He knew,” Elladan assured him. “And he accepted your closeness to Legolas. Do not let this distress you.”

Elrohir looked down at his hands. “I am shocked, Elladan, that I should have coveted him in that way. And that he cared enough to answer my needs!” He clenched his hands. “He was ever worthy of my regard even then and now I know why. The Valar grant that his love be returned to him soonest.”

Elladan pursed his lips, caught between an urge to laugh and a compulsion to weep, both born of a mixture of frustration, excitement and tension.

“‘Tis Legolas’ most fervent prayer as well,” he finally said. He drew his twin into a soothing embrace. “But for now, you must be his comfort until that yearned for day comes.”

“I do my best,” Elrohir murmured. “But how can that ever be enough when he misses his love so terribly?”

Elladan had no answer for that.

When he returned downstairs, he found Legolas anxiously awaiting him. Glancing at his family in the dining chamber, he took the archer by the arm and led him out to the porch. The house was a fair distance from other dwellings save for the residential pavilion. They would not be overheard or disturbed.

“Tell me all, Elladan,” Legolas demanded without preamble as soon as they were out of earshot of the others.

Elladan bit his lips. “I do not wish to raise false hopes,” he began reluctantly.

Legolas stared at him then said firmly: “Better false hopes than none at all. Please, gwanur”—kinsman—“tell me what happened.”

Elladan blew his breath out. “His odd demeanor at the river?” the older twin abruptly said. “‘Tis because he was bested by the sight of your ‘bared magnificence’.”

The archer stared at his friend in shocked disbelief. Elladan smiled faintly at his expression.

“His words, not mine,” he said. “Legolas, it caused him to remember your first joining in Mirkwood.”

Legolas caught his breath. He swallowed hard then nodded to the Elf-lord to continue. Elladan swiftly recounted everything to the archer.

When he was done, Legolas gazed at him, hope and fear alternately lighting and shadowing his eyes. “What can we expect now?” he inquired almost timorously.

“In truth, I do not know,” Elladan said. “But for him to recall that event after seeing you at the river...sometimes the body remembers ere the mind does. He responded to you as he has not with any other Elf. He may not recall his love for you as yet but he has at last begun to feel desire.” He placed an encouraging hand on his law-brother’s shoulder. “I know ‘tis not as much as you hoped for, yet it is a start.”

Legolas gazed up at the starry firmament, eyes gleaming with unfathomable emotion. After a long silent while, he looked at Elladan once more and smiled, the gentleness of it enough to near bring the Elf-lord to tears.

The prince whispered tremulously: “As you said, it is a start.”

***************

Glossary:

Edhel - Elf

To be continued…
- 17
- 18
- 19
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Greenleaf & Imladris 29 - Aduial: Soul of a Knight