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The Long and Winding Road	By : kathmco Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2997 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: I only seek to borrow from Tolkien's genius, and do not seek to profit from this writing in any way.

Chapter 2

Haldir stepped toward the woman, pulling down his hood, exposing his thick head of long silvery hair, braided in the fashion of the Galadhrim.
The woman stared hard at him for a moment, before her eyes rolled back in her head and she started to slide down the wall to the floor in a faint. Stepping forward quickly, Haldir caught her before her head hit the floor. Picking her up in his strong arms, he laid her gently on her bed, then set about making himself comfortable.
He removed his cloak and hung it on a peg near the door. It was dripping, but he felt the peg was close enough to the fire for it to dry by morning. He also removed his tunic, which was damp, and his boots, which were soaked through, placing them on a chair near the fire to dry.
Checking on the woman, he found that she had slipped into sleep, and watched her easy breathing for a few moments. Deciding that she would be fine, he went in search of nourishment.
Nothing looked familiar to him - there was no kettle keeping warm near the fire, no bowls of fruit or breads anywhere. "What does this woman eat?" he thought, as he paced around the room. Folding his arms across his chest, frustrated, he leaned back against a white, freestanding cabinet. Feeling a slight tremor behind him, he looked carefully at the tall, rectangular white box. Pulling open the door, he was assaulted by a wave of cold air, and the sight of many different foods sitting on the shelves within. Smiling, he began pulling items from the refrigerator, his face showing wonder at the cool air. He would ask the woman about the magical cupboard when she awoke. Right now, he was more concerned with filling his belly.
Salads, fruits, and cheese all found their intointo Haldir's gut, along with nearly an entire gallon of milk. Letting out a long, loud belch, he walked back to the bed, where the woman still lay sleeping. Crawling in bed next to her, he marveled for a moment at the softness of the pallet and pillows, before allowing his eyes to glaze over in sleep.
It was her scream that woke him in the morning.
Her scream and the sensation of being beaten about the head with something soft, as the woman attempted to kill him by battering him with her pillow.
Sitting up, he grabbed her wrists to keep her from slamming the pillow into his head again. She froze, her mouth dropping open, her hands still clutching the pillow.
"Why do you seek to pummel me? Have I done anything to cause you to fear me?" Haldir asked, frowning at the woman. He wondered if, perhaps, she wasn't right in the head.
"Who did you say you were?" the woman asked in a soft voice, her wide eyes never leaving his face.
"My name is Haldir. I am the March Warden of Lothlorien, come here on a journey of great importance to my people," he answered, letting go of her wrists. She clutched the pillow to her chest, staring at him.
"You…can't be…" she whispered, her eyes huge with awe. Letting go of the pillow with one hand, she slowly reached up and gently touched the tip of his left ear with her finger.
Haldir sucked his breath in through his teeth as her touch on the sensitive point of his ear sent a shiver down his spine. He once again took hold of her wrist, this time to keep her from touching his ear again, although under different circumstances he would have welcomed her advances.
"Oh…I'm so sorry…please forgive me," the n mun murmured, realizing she had made a faux pax in touching Haldir's ear. Evidently, the tip of the ear was an erogenous zone for Elves, judging by the expression on his face when she touched it. "Oh, Lord…I must be losing my mind," she thought, her attention riveted by the delicate point of his ear. "How can a fictional character even have erogenous zones? For that matter, how can a fictional character be sitting in my bed, holding my wrist, and smelling faintly of cheese?"
"I don't understand," she continued, still not able to take her eyes off of his ears, "How can you be Haldir? Haldir was an Elf in J. R. R. Tolkien's books. He isn't real. Elves aren't real!"
"Tolkien? You know Tolkien?" Haldir's bemused expron son suddenly turned deadly serious. Pulling her toward him by the wrist he still held, he ordered, "tell me where to find him. I must speak with him immediately!"
"You know Tolkien? How can that be?"

"He was once a traveler who walked the same road that brought me here. Where is he? Is he your mate? When will he arrive home?" Haldir was becoming impatient with the woman, and it showed in the frown that graced his face.
"No, no…I don't know him at all. This cabin used to be owned by his family, or so the realtor told me. That's the reason I bought it - I'm a huge fan of his work. But Haldir…I'm so sorry, but…Tolkien died nearly 30 years ago," she finished softly, her eyes showing her sympathy.
Haldir's face registered shock, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Dead? Then I've come for nothing."
"Why did you come?"
"Many years ago, Tolkien found his way to us. He told us stories of great wonders from his world, and in return we told him our legends. He became an Elf-friend, anomisomised us that we would always be remembered in his world. He made a solemn oath to the Lady that he would write our histories.
"My people are now leaving Lorien for the Blessed Realm. My Lord and Lady wish to have the scrolls Tolkien had promised he would write, so that they can present them to the Valar upon their arrival in Aman. I was sent to find Tolkien and the scrolls. If he is dead, then I have failed."
"Surely you have your own historians…I can't believe that you wouldn't have any written histories of your own…"
Haldir snorted. "Of course we do. That is not the point. My Lord and Lady wish to show the Valar what others think of our race, not just what we think of it."
"You haven't failed, Haldir…I have copies of the books that you can take with you," the woman smiled, getting up from the bed. Evidently she had forgotten that she was dressed only in her baby doll nightgown, because she now offered Haldir a lovely view as she walked to a bookcase near the bed. She bent down, taking several books from a lower shelf, and Haldir sucked his breath in between his teeth.
"You know my name, Milady, but I have yet to learn yours," he said, not taking his eyes from her rounded bottom.
"Calla…as in the lily. My mother was a horticulturist."
"Your mother was a what?" Haldir said raising his eyebrows, surprised that she would admit to being the daughter of a whore.
"Horticulturist. She worked with plants," Calla explained, without turning around. Selecting a few more books from the shelves, she brought the pile back to the bed, and dumped them next to Haldir.
Wrenching his eyes from her, he looked down at the pile of books. Picking one up, he flipped through it, a tentative smile quickly turning into a frown. He picked up one book after another, scanning a page or two, then discarding it for still another book. Looking up at Calla, he waved the final book at her.
"What language are these written in? This is not Elvish, nor Westron! Nor any other language I recognize," he demanded, holding one up to her face.
"It's called English…which brings up another question. How is it that we can understand each other? I don't speak any of the Tolkien languages, and I seriously doubt that you can speak English," she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"I know not…but I suspect it has something to do with this place. Tolkien had no problem with language barriers when he visited us, either. There is magic here," he replied simply, shrugging his broad shoulders.
"I don't believe in magic."
Haldir smiled at her folly. "Not believe in magic? How do you account for me, then?"
"I don't know. You may just be the result of one too many glasses of wine last night."
"You have wine? Where?" Haldir asked, momentarily distracted by the thought of having missed it last night. He would have much preferred it to the milk.
"Focus, will you?" Calla frowned, waving her hand in front of Haldir's face. "Do you want the books, or not?"
"Yes…but if I cannot read them, then no one else will be able to either," Haldir said, bringing his attention back to the pile on the bed. He fingered the cover of a beautifully bound leather edition of the Hobbit, pondering the dilemma. Suddenly, he realized the answer to his problem was right in front of him.
"Of course! I will take you back instead. You can translate them for us."
"Oh, no, buster. I'm not going anywhere with you. If what Tolkien wrote is actually true, then that means orcs, uruk hai, cave trolls and all other types of evil-looking, sharp-toothed nasties populate your world. Not a chance am I going anywhere near there! I'll just tell you what the books say, and you can go on your merry way."
Haldir saw the fear in her eyes at the thought of travelling with him, and thought better of pushing. He could, of course, simply throw her over his shoulder and carry her back, but she would be easier to manage if she came of her own accord. He still had some time…he would work his charm on her.
"Tell me then, what does Tolkien say about Elves?"
"Which ones? The Elves of Rivendell? Lord Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, Erestor, Arwen? Glorfindel, the Balrog-slayer? The Mirkwood Elves? Thranduil? Legolas? The Elves of Lorien? You, for example? Or your brothers, Orophin and Rumil?"
Haldir laughed, pushing himself up to lean against the backboard. "Start wherever you wish."
"Okay, here's the abridged edition. According to Tolkien, Elves are immortal. You came west from Aman and are known as the First Born. Eventually, you sail back to Aman on the White Ships across the Straight Road. You can die, but only in battle or from "weariness of the world." You mate for life, and if you lose your mate, you will more than likely die yourself. Sex is like a marriage contract for you…"
"What?"
"I said, sex is like a marriage contract to your people…you know, the physical act bonds you for life."
"That's ridiculous. You must have read it wrong."
"I didn't read anything wrong. You bond for life, and the act of sex seals it."
"Tolkien wrote that?" Haldir features began to twist in anger. He jumped up from the bed and began pacing the room, his hands in fists at his sides. "I told Galadriel that he would distort the truth! That human was always prattling on about his god, and that sex was something only to be done for procreation! He spent more time lecturing us on that particular subject than on anything else. What else did he lie about?"
"Lie? You mean it's not true?"
"Of course it is not true! Pleasures of the flesh are a gift of Eru, to be enjoyed and shared often. Tolkien knew this…I do not understand why he would lie. What must your people think of us?"
"My people think your people are fictional, remember? It doesn't matter what they think. So, your people don't marry? Do they just jump on each other whenever the whim hits them? To hear you speak, there isn't any romance involved, at all. Don't you fall in love?"
"Of course we marry. When we do, it is for life - he got that part right at least. We don't necessarily fade should our spouse die…although it is not unheard of. Love and sex are two separate things…for us, finding a soul mate is rare, but sex is commonplace. Why should one deny oneself simply because of the misconception that one must love the other first? That's idiotic."
"I don't happen to think the idea is idiotic! I don't fall into bed with just anyone, unlike you, it seems. How can you have sex with someone you don't care about?"
Haldir turned to look at the woman. "We do not have sex with just anyone…there of course must be an attraction on both sides…if there is desire, then why hold back?"
She saw the anger in eyes turn into something else, as he looked at her. Noticing for the first time that he wore only breeches, she could understand how he would have no trouble finding lovers. His face was angelic, having finely sculptured features and piercing gray eyes, framed by his long, silvery hair. Broad shouldered, slender hipped, each muscle clearly defined, his body was unlike any she had ever seen in the flesh, and his breeches left little to the imagination. But the way he was looking at her right now was disconcerting. Suddenly, she remembered how she was dressed.
"Um…I need to get changed. You'll have to step outside for a moment, Haldir…"
He began walking toward her, a slight half-smile on his face, his eyes drinking in her every curve, ignoring her command.
"Desire is all that is needed," he whispered, reaching her side. She quickly scooted to the other side of the bed.
"I thought you said desire was needed from both parties…"
"I desire you…you desire me."
"I do not desire you."

"Your body tells me otherwise," he scoffed, his eyes drifting down to her stiffened nipples, seen clearly through the thin fabric of her nightgown.
She jumped up from the bed, but he cornered her before she could get very far.
"Why do you run from me? You want me…I can see it in your eyes," he whispered, reaching out with one finger to trace the curve of her jaw.
Calla couldn't have moved if she wanted to…and she really didn't want to. Her eyes locked with his as he lowered his face to touch his soft, full lips to hers. His hand reached around to the back of her head, pulling her forward to deepen the kiss, while his other hand snaked around her waist, crushing her body to his. She could feel the hardened bulge in his leggings digging into her stomach.
It was her own body's response to his advances that snapped her back to reality. Pushing him away with both hands, she ducked under his arm and moved quickly to the other side of the room, leaving Haldir looking bewildered.
"Where are you going? Is this some ritual your people indulge in? Should I be chasing you?" he asked, looking confused.
"No, it is not a ritual…and you most definitely should not be chasing me. I told you before - I don't jump into bed with complete strangers! Please, just take your books and go," she replied hotly, poin at at the door.
"I cannot leave without you. You are the only one who can translate Tolkien's writings. Besides, I am most disturbed over the way he had seemed to distort the truth about us. I wish to know more."
"I am not going with you. You'll just have to find someone else, Elfboy!"
"Elfboy? If you seek to insult me, you'll have to do better than that!" Haldir laughed. He walked to the fireplace, and slipped into his boots and tunic.
Calla watched him dress, a small voice whispering in the back of her mind that she was blowing the most exciting opportunity that would probably ever present itself to her. Ignoring the voice, she watched Haldir, marveling at his body as he dressed.
"I need a sack," Haldir said, looking about the room for something he could use.
"I beg your pardon?"
"For the books…I need a sack to carry the books."
"Oh, of course." Calla went to the kitchen area and pulled out a large, plastic Hefty bag from the pantry. "This should do it." She held the bag out to Haldir, making sure to keep an arm's length away from him.
Taking the bag, Haldir quickly shoved the books inside it, then removed his cloak from the hook near the door. He placed the bag of books on the floor, and turned to Calla.
"I wish you would just agree to come with me…it would make things much easier,"saidsaid, fingering the soft wool of his cloak. He looked up and met her eyes, seeing a stubborn look settle in their blue depths. Sighing, he crossed the distance between them with three long strides. Before Calla could open her mouth to protest, he had wrapped his cloak around her and slung her over his broad shoulder.
Carrying his kicking, shrieking bundle, he paused at the door to pick up the bag of books. Stepping out of the cabin, his feet found the path, and he began walking in the direction he had originally come. "At least the storm has abated," he thought, grateful for that much.
Calla continued to kick and twist on his shoulder, her mouth spewing forth every vile name she could think of, and making up a few as well. After a while, Haldir grew tired of the pounding at his back, and stopped, dropping the bag of books. He gave her a firm slap on the rump, saying, "Stop this at once. If you do not cease beating at my back, I will drag you to Lorien by your hair!" Smiling at her shocked silence, he allowed his hand to caress her bottom through the cloak that covered it. "That's much better. If and when you decide to be reasonable about coming back with me, I will allow you to walk." He forced himself to stop rubbing and kneading her rump, stooped and picked up the bag, and continued walking.
"I'm being kidnapped by an Elf," Calla said softly to herself incredulously, although Haldir heard every word. "I'm being kidnapped by a horny Elf."
"I do not have horns. Unless that is your way of referring to my, if I do say so, large…"
"That is NOT what I was referring to! Well, actually that is part of it…oh, shut up! I am not speaking to you anyway. You happen to be kidnapping me, and I do not speak to kidnappers," Calla interrupted from over his shoulder, giving his hair a yank.
"Ouch. Do you want another reminder of how to behave? I find it most pleasant to administer them…"
"No! You leave my bum alone! Or…or…I'll pull your hair out by the roots!"
Haldir chuckled, thinking that he was actually glad he hadn't found Tolkien after all…this one was going to prove to be a challenge and much, much more fun.
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The Long and Winding Road