Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Sleeping Beauty	By : SilentNiobe Category: -Multi-Age > Het - Male/Female Views: 6613 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
Author's Note: I have been so immersed in writing my first novel lately, that for a while I lost myself in that world. However, I have received such wonderful reviews that I just *had* to come back to Sleeping Beauty and finish this chapter for you. I cannot thank you enough for your support, you have all been amazing to me and my stories from the very first chapter I posted on this site. I have not replied to reviews yet, but I am planning to in the next week.
One more thing before you move on with the chapter: I tried to find a way to describe the depth of Legolas' pain and kept failing; which is another reason why it took me so long to finish this chapter. And then I came across something I had written in my blog and realised that -with a few changes- it said exactly what I wanted to say. I have done this before in my other story, Lim Aear, so I assume that for those of you who have read it will not seem so 'weird'. I had to explain, though, for those who are not very familiar with my writing.
All that being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 21 – Breaking through
"Are you ready?"
Alice watched as the drops of the red liquid in the vial spread and diffused in the glass, until the water turned into what could easily be mistaken for red wine. She moved her eyes to the wizard then, her heart galloping as fast as a horse in a race.
"I am."
"Wait, wait… Alice, please let's think about this again for a moment," Johan pleaded from the other side of the bedroom where he had been pacing back and forth.
"Johan, I've made my decision," his cousin replied, her eyes moving at the blond German for help. Andrea walked over to Johan and cupped his face in her hands.
"Everything is going to be ok. He has been right in everything he's said so far, I think we should trust him."
As if to make her point, she produced the two rings of the Guardians from her pocket and held them in front of the American.
"We will protect her."
True to his word, the wizard had showed up at Johan's house in Germany a week after Alice and her cousin had arrived, by which time Andrea had also joined them. She had brought the rings from her house, two plain looking golden rings with a strange script on their inside that had picked Alice's curiosity; she had seen it before. The curves of the characters looked very familiar but only when Gandalf told her the language was Elvish did she remember why. 'Guardian of the soul'; that's what the inscriptions meant. But whose soul were the Guardians supposed to protect: hers or Legolas'? There will be only one soul, the wizard had replied. Once you fix your bond.
Her attention was pulled away from her thoughts by something held in front of her. Her eyes met Gandalf's and he gave her an encouraging smile.
"We do not have much time," he whispered and nodded at the red liquid. What an irony that it looked so similar to its antidote. Taking a deep breath to hush her rising panic, she took the glass in a trembling hand and brought it to her lips.
"Oh man… don't do it Freckles…" she heard Johan moan from the other side of the room but ignored him. She would do it for her Prince. After all the pain he had been through, she was lucky to have to pay such a small price.
She didn't even pause for breath as she gulped all the contents of the glass down, but looked surprised as she gave back the glass to the wizard. Johan moved to her side immediately, followed by Andrea.
"How do you feel? Are you in pain?" he asked throwing a glare at the wizard and touched her cheek. It was true that the wizard had been nothing but helpful so far, but how could he ever like the person who had just poisoned his cousin?
"Uh… I don't feel anything different," Alice replied looking at the wizard instead. "I thought it would be bitter, but it tasted really sweet…"
"As sweet as the slow death it brings," the wizard replied with a bittersweet smile and got up from the chair he had occupied next to her bed.
"Wait!" the red-head called as she got more comfortable in her bed. "You didn't tell me how to reach Legolas."
Gandalf shook his head.
"The poison needs some time to work. You will strain yourself too much if you try to reach him now. Your body is not weak enough."
"No, no, no… you don't understand…"
"Alice, I think you should listen to him…-"
"No! I have to see him, please. Just… just let me try, ok?"
"Let her try," Andrea said in a cajoling tone and exchanged a look with both men. Johan sighed and walked to the armchair at the far end of the room, plopping down with his back almost turned from the bed; he couldn't watch this.
"You have to relax," he heard the wizard tell his cousin. "Clear your mind from every other thought and focus on Legolas. Let your feelings for him flow in your veins and help your soul travel to where his lies."
Johan rubbed his forehead. About a month ago, he would laugh at such gibberish and mock anyone who dared say they believed it. Yet here he was, in a room with the woman he had loved most in his life and thought he'd never see again, an immortal wizard and his cousin who he had allowed to be poisoned in order to find her elven Prince. To say the situation was a little messed up would be an understatement.
A gasp broke the silence in the room and Johan found himself next to his cousin before he even had time to realize he had moved. Alice was clutching the sheets and gasping for breath, blood dripping from her nose.
"What is happening to her…?"
Tell me how to forget, and I shall do it.

How do you stop thinking about something that shook you to the core? How do you ignore this one thing that gave you shape? How do you leave behind a part of you?
Tell me how to forget, and I shall do it.

Show me how the machine of Time works, how the clocks tick, how the minutes are weaved into Life... How do mere seconds seem like hours? And how do months seem only like days?
How do you leave something behind you when it all comes back to find you? How do you fight off the ghosts who come to haunt you at your most vulnerable moments?
How to you keep away the past?
Can you? Should you? Will you?
Tell me how to forget and I shall do it.
For the pain is horrible when it's fresh, but unbearable when it gets numb. When you grow used to it. When you reduce all other feelings to accommodate this poison into your body. And you carry it along with you, no matter how far you go to escape from its source, no matter how much time has passed, no matter how hard you have tried to shut it off.
But can you? Can you escape a part of yourself?
Tell me how to forget and I shall do it.
"It's over", the Mind says. "You know now. You know."
"So stop me", the Heart replies. "Stop me from beating, and I will stop remembering. For Reason sits too high in her shiny throne and my playground is down at the Green Fields. In there, the Feelings play and they are my children. And tell me, what do children do but grow?"
"Send them to Neverland. The place where they will remain forever as children."
The Heart teared.
"And what will become of my Green Fields?"
But Mind could not answer. For who would Reason rule, if the Green Fields withered?
"Tell me how to forget and I shall do it."
The Heart gave a sympathetic smile.
"Kill yourself," she whispered. "Kill yourself and you shall be free. For You are Your Memories and Time cannot erase them. Time cannot erase you."
Tell me how to forget and I shall do it.

I fought.
I fled.
I waited.
I gave up.
But Time did not heal my wounds. The ghosts come back. And the wounds bleed all over again.
Tell me how to forget and I shall do it.
Please…
Alice sat up on the bed, her hands grabbing her chest. She could not breathe. The weight was crashing her, choking her and she could not push past it. Through bleary eyes she watched -rather than felt- Johan touch her cheek and speak to her frantically but she could not hear him. Andrea's face was pale, and she was wiping her face with a wet cloth that was smeared with something red.
Only Gandalf stood motionless, looking at her with sad, knowing eyes. He knew. He knew what she had met and his eyes gleamed with unshed tears.
"I cannot reach him," she heard herself say in a broken voice. "His pain is too strong for my mortal soul… I cannot break through it."
"I warned you."
Gandalf's voice roused her from her trance. She had been watching the flames in the fireplace for hours, the cup of tea forgotten in her hands. Indeed, he had warned her. But she could never imagine the magnitude of Legolas' suffering. What she had felt when their bond was fixed, she realised, was only a small part he had accidentally let escape; and even that small part had suffocated it her. His real pain, however… how could he have survived bearing all this weight on his shoulders? How much had he decided to endure for a hope that they would someday be reunited? And how easily had she ignored and discarded everything?
"Do not blame yourself," the wizard said as if reading her thoughts. "It was his choice and a very conscious one."
"I don't deserve him." Her voice held so much loathing that the wizard raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"You just poisoned yourself for his sake."
"Sometimes I wonder if I even have a heart inside me. He begged me, Gandalf. He begged me to believe him and even though I had felt his pain, even though I knew what he had been through for me, I laughed at his face and threw everything away."
The last part was barely audible because of the lump in her throat and she didn't hold the tears back. She felt too tired, anyway.
"You couldn't possibly know," he told her in a gentle voice, reaching over to touch her arm. "No one but Legolas himself knows what he feels and how he is dealing with it."
"But now I know. All of it." The self-loathing again.
"Yes, you do. Which is why you are going to try again when you feel ready."
She wiped the tears on her cheeks and let out a sigh.
"What if I can't break through this 'wall' again?"
The wizard leaned back on the couch and smoked his pipe thoughtfully for a few moments before he started talking.
"It will be easier this time. And even easier the next time. As the poison starts working, your body will not hold you back so strongly. Now that you know the full size of his pain, you will be prepared for it. You will hold it back."
Alice listened to the wizard with a frown. She would never be able to hold back this force. And even if she did, she doubted she would be able to break through it. It was like an impassable rocky wall she had to break down with her bare hands.
"You will have to relax and think of something familiar. Something that makes you feel strong and safe, comfortable."
When Alice didn't reply, the wizard continued:
"I know it sounds very difficult, perhaps a little hard to understand at this point, but when you try again you will see how all this works in practice. But don't expect it to happen right away; and don't get disappointed."
Alice nodded letting her cup on the coffee table. Rubbing her tired eyes, she gave a smile at the wizard and said "I think I'm going to sleep. I feel a little tired."
However, the moment she stood on her feet the black spots dancing in front of her made her sway dizzily; if it wasn't for Johan who had just walked back in the living room, she was sure she would have collapsed.
"Hey, hey, easy…" he told her in a gentle tone and turned to the wizard with a questioning look.
"The poison has started working," the wizard replied with a somber look and Johan could only nod with a frown.
"I'm okay," Alice lied quickly, "I just need to get some rest."
"And that you will," the wizard said from his place in the couch. "Sleep well, child."
"Goodnight," Alice mumbled tiredly, as she dragged her feet on the stairs to her bedroom.
"I hate seeing you like this," Johan said in a worried tone when they entered the bedroom and helped Alice lie on the bed, while Andrea took off her shoes.
"Well, dear cousin, it's only going to get worse so get used to it," the red-head replied with a lopsided grin but Johan's lips remained tightly bound in a thin line. Alice's face softened and she cupped his cheek affectionately. "Everything's going to be okay. If you don't trust Gandalf, you have to trust me."
"I'm afraid that if I let you sleep, you may never wake up."
"The poison works very slowly, Johan," Andrea said rubbing his shoulders and winked at the woman on the bed. "But we should not overtire Alice, so you'll come with me downstairs and let Alice get some rest."
Johan rolled his eyes and kissed his cousin's forehead before he stood.
"Germans and their discipline… Goodnight Freckles!"
"Night guys," she said with a yawn and turned on her side once the door was shut.
Sleep, however, invaded her. Although she was very tired, the thought that Legolas was out there alone carrying all this pain and suffering kept her mind working restlessly. Was it too early to try again? Perhaps she should let herself relax and think of something familiar like Gandalf had advised her and see if anything would happen.
Turning again on her back, Alice willed her eyes closed and took a deep breath. She let her brain register the blackness for a few moments, before she let the picture of Legolas fill her thoughts; the flow of her feelings was instant and she succumbed to them. Like the previous time she let them drag her to the 'wall' between them, but this time she braced herself when she felt it coming. This time she was prepared to hold the weight and break through, because she had to see him. She had to reassure him that she had not given up; and so should he.
The moment she collided with the wall, she willed her mind to think of something familiar. Her mind unconsciously produced a picture of her apartment in New York. The scent of vanilla filled her senses and the longer she breathed it in, the lesser the pain became. It was easier to put her thoughts in order without the onslaught of Legolas' suffering and she brought again the picture of Legolas in her mind; just the way she remembered him from the first time they had met in her dreams. A small smile tagged at her lips when she imagined him lie on her couch, his blond hair shining like gold on her chocolate brown couch, his eyes closed, his breathing slow and even…
Alice gasped.
She really was in her apartment. And Legolas was not a picture anymore, but flesh and bones on her couch in front of her.
She had made it.

I have a feeling you're really going to like the next chapter... :-D
- 21
- 22
- 23
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