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Journey Of A Butterfly	By : Mel99Moe Category: -Fourth Age to Modern times and beyond > Het - Male/Female Views: 5714 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or places of Lord of the Rings/Tolkien. No money is being made. This is for personal enjoyment only.

Chapter List
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Chapter 23 - Simple Lives Of Elves

They walked in complete silence back through the woods, Terrwyn leading and Feredir following closely behind. He held his bow in his hand, just in case she decided to run again. He would not hesitate to cripple her if she decided to do so. He could pretend all he wanted, but he could not deny what he had felt as he held her. Something stirred deep within him, deeper than he would admit. Now he felt it whenever he looked at her, whenever he heard her voice. That kiss would always be implanted in his mind. Curiosity was a reality and he would always want to know more about her, mentally and physically. Feredir decided he had to rid himself of such thoughts just as soon as he turned her in for escaping. Then he would visit his favorite haunt and seek out Feona. She was always good at making him forget his troubles. She could make him forget his own name. Yes, that was what he would do just as soon as he got rid of this troublemaker. Let this red nuisance sit alone in her barracks and contemplate her actions.

As soon as they got back to the city, Feredir led her straight to the Captains headquarters. Terrwyn would not look at him. He didn’t expect her to. They exchanged some very harsh words. The young elf did not know what to believe. He had never been in this situation before, had never been unable to stop someone without use of his weapon or felt the fire that she caused when their lips touched. They walked into the front waiting area of the headquarters. A guard stood outside of Glandur’s office. Feredir, still holding onto Terrwyn’s upper arm, pushed her rather roughly onto a chair. Then he came around in front of her and squatted down so he was eye level with her.

“I would not suggest any quick moves. I may have missed, but the guard here will not,” he whispered.

Terrwyn sat in complete silence, not looking at either elf in the room. She turned her head from Feredir to face the wall next to her chair. Damn him, she thought to herself. He was such an arrogant son of a bitch at times. How could she ever have felt anything for him? Sure, he was a good kisser. In fact, no one had ever kissed her like that. She got just a taste of what it would be like to make love to him, when his body writhed upon hers. That part was all elf, very sexy and seductive. Damn him thrice. “Well,” she thought. “I will take my punishment. I will not let him get the best of me, and I will never let him touch me again or there will be two murder charges hanging over my head.”

Feredir spoke to the guard silently and entered the Captains office. As the door slowly opened, he looked back once more to Terrwyn. “So she thought she could use me to aid her in an escape,” he thought to himself. “Humph, she picked the wrong elf. Look at her sitting there. She is absolutely seething. Thought her little plan would work did she?” But it almost did and he could not forget, especially now as he looked at her. She was beautiful; there was no denying that. Her body fit against his so perfectly, and when she moaned, it set him on fire. That had all been part of her plan . . . hadn’t it?

The elf warden stepped into the Captain’s office and approached the desk. He stood quietly at attention until he was addressed.

“So Feredir, what seems to be the problem?” Captain Glandur asked sternly, looking up from his paperwork. “And do start from the beginning.”

“Captain, I transported the girl to the Master Healer’s office this morning as is my duty. Master Curuven set her on an errand to place an order at the apothecary.” As he spoke of their day and her duty, he remembered how enjoyable it was talking to her. He had seen her smile and her eyes light up. Then he remembered how distraught she was as she spoke of her lost brother. Could he really blame her for trying to escape? Had he been in a similar situation, wouldn’t he try to do the same thing? When he was sitting in that tree, looking down upon her, did she not look helpless and scared? Did he not want to comfort her, help her? Suddenly he could not do it. He could not turn her in. Had he been in her position, falsely accused of murder and unable to find a missing loved one, he would have tried to run away too. She was acting out of instinct.

“And when we were told we would have to wait for the herbs . . .,” He paused and gave it one last thought. “I took it upon myself to show her the ancient area of the gardens. We were . . . separated and she became lost.”

“Lost?” Glandur asked with a curious glare, one eyebrow raised in question.

“Yes Captain,” Feredir replied. “Oh, but I found her, not much worse for wear. She got tangled in some hawthorn and may have a few scratches, but other than that she is fine.”

The tall blonde Captain stood up from his chair, went to where Feredir stood and circled him. Feredir remained standing at attention and feeling rather uneasy.

“It’s funny that you should claim that she became lost. I have been informed that you were seen running through the center of town towards the ancient areas of the gardens. How do you explain that, Warden?” Glandur put emphasis on the title, reminding him that he was not a border guard and must answer directly to the Captain about such matters as a warden.

Feredir thought for a moment. Who could have told the Captain about this? It had to have been one of his border mates and he had a good idea who it was. One such ellon had always been rather jealous of him ever since he joined the guard here in Ithilien. He was amongst those earlier that day. He took a deep breath and decided to end the charade before it got out of hand. If he learned anything, it was that one did not cross paths with Captain Glandur. He was fair in his judgment, but he could not tolerate lies or, unfortunately, border guards who disobeyed their sergeants.

“I apologize, Captain. The girl, Terrwyn, did try to escape. I know I should have reported her first off, but she had not gotten very far. I knew I could find her and bring her back. I was hoping to avoid having to report her in the first place, but . . .” Feredir paused remembering just why it took him so long to bring her back in the first place. “Well, she is back now.” Feredir looked to the floor. He knew he would regret this. Damn her red head and damn her beauty. “Captain, had you been there, you would have done the same thing. She was running away because she feels no one is helping her. She mentioned her lost brother, how she just wanted to find him and bring him back. Personally, I think it is a lost cause. It has been years since his kidnapping. The boy probably did not survive a month in the hands of the Haradrim. I have seen them, fought them with my bare hands. They are cruel men and care for no life but their own.”

Glandur’s face softened as Feredir spoke. It was the first time he had actually heard or felt compassion coming from this young elf. Recently, he had questioned his decision to put Feredir in charge of Terrwyn. He thought being with a female would tame him somewhat. Actually, Feredir seemed more distant and rebellious. He was hard on the girl and Glandur regretted that. Terrwyn did not deserve such animosity. Now though, Feredir seemed to soften a bit, especially at the mention of Terrwyn’s concern for her brother. He could certainly understand why. Feredir had his own troubles with his sibling, something the Captain had known about since Feredir first came to Ithilien from Mirkwood.

“You are correct about the Southrons and I must agree with you about the outcome of her brother’s life. Even if he is still alive, he will not be the man he once was. He would have been tortured and retrained to think like one of them. However, that is not the issue here.” Glandur’s face hardened back to its original form and Feredir knew this was not the end of his redress by the Captain.

Glandur went back to his desk and stood firmly in front of his chair. “You still do not follow the rules Feredir.” His voice was low and unmistakably harsh. “You cannot continue to behave in such a manner.”

“But the girl was getting away, and I knew that if I --.”

“You cannot act on your own,” Glandur said in a raised voice. “There are rules that must be followed and when those rules are broken, there must be consequences.”

“Captain, I understand that, but --.”

“If you understood that you would still be at the border,” Glandur was almost shouting now, something he did not do very often. Normally, he was very calm and handled himself in a composed manner, but Feredir was pushing him to his limits. “I don’t need to tell you that you are one of my best guards. You have the skills, Feredir, of that there is no doubt, but you are not above our laws. Your talents are being wasted here as a warden.” Glandur calmed himself and sat in his chair. He took a deep breath and continued. “I need you to straighten your attitude up, Feredir. I need you to start listening to commands and heeding them. I need you at the borders.”

Feredir smiled smugly. “I am ready to go back, Captain.”

“You misunderstood me. You are not ready yet,” Glandur said in a low tone. “Until you can follow orders and stop thinking you are above others, I must request that you stay assigned to your ward.”

“But Captain, please --,” Feredir started to argue, but Glandur held up his hand.

“There is nothing you can say to change my mind. Feredir, you have a talent that not many possess. I have seen you fight. Whether with your bow or in hand-to-hand combat, you are always at the top of your game. I see the potential in you to go far in this elvish army. You are young yet and your mindset is not where it should be, but you are not so young that you cannot learn. It is time to own up to your actions. Until you can do that, I am afraid your future in this army is in jeopardy. So for now, you will remain a city warden. You will stay with your ward. You will not let her out of your sight. If I hear of another incident like this, I will remove you from all duties and you will become a civilian of the city. I will not tolerate this behavior anymore, Feredir. Is this understood?”

Feredir stood silent for a moment. He was angry, but he would not let it show. “Yes my Captain,” he finally replied.

“Good, now send in Terrwyn. I have a few things to discuss with her also,” Glandur said, dismissing Feredir.

* * *

Terrwyn sat outside the Captain’s office. She glanced at the guard standing next to the office door. He was like all elves, tall and fair. His hair was long, straight and the color of wheat. He wore the usual uniform, black and silver, a variation of the Gondorian uniform, but simple . . . simple like the lives the elves lived. She considered that for a moment. Were the lives of elves as simple as she had always imagined them to be? She remembered being in the Firien Wood, the first time she climbed up to Rosloch’s hut in the tree. There was a feeling of freedom being up there, looking out across the land as far as she could see. She could have spent endless days and nights just sitting up there, the warm summer breeze lifting her red waves from her face. This was what she imagined the lives of elves to be like, and maybe it was for some, but for those here in North Ithilien, it was more like the lives of men. There were politics and laws, rules to constantly follow and be aware of. Even their uniforms were fashioned more like those of men. Terrwyn remembered the elf warriors she had seen as a child at Helm’s Deep. Sure, they wore armor, but it was still a thing of beauty, the way it contoured to their bodies and looked like part of their own skin. Every part of them was elvish and that was what drew her to them. They were not influenced by men. Men were influenced by the elves then, in awe of their strength as well as their beauty.

Ithilien was beautiful indeed, and very elvish, but it was their minds that seemed to change. The elves were slowly leaving Middle-earth and taking their culture with them. The world would soon belong to men alone, so the elves did little to . . . well, to remain elves while they still walked these shores. They were stepping aside to allow men to rise. Terrwyn saw that now with this guard, with Glandur, even with Master Curuven. They seemed to quell that which was truly elvish, as if saving it for the day they reached those golden shores of Valinor. They were guarding their hearts, waiting for the time of their departure. Torn they were, between leaving Middle-earth, which for most was the only life they had known, and going to their secret world beyond.

Feredir . . . he was a different elf all together. Sometimes he was more man than elf, most of the time really. He was two different beings, divided by a sharp jagged edge. Only when the two personalities joined, smoothing that edge, could she see who he truly was. She had seen that deep in the ancient forest. She felt it when she looked at that arrow sticking out of the ground. That was his good heart speaking. That was his true elvish side.

As he lay upon her, kissing her and moving against her body, that too was his elvish entity. His real strength lay hidden until he chose to show it. Light as a feather he felt lying on top of her, yet every muscle was alive and tense. His kiss too told of his story. There was passion within him that no one had ever shared. Sure, she knew Feredir had been with many females, elves as well as human, but none had seen his soul. None had felt his love. Not even Terrwyn could claim that. It was not love he gave, but just a small glimpse of what he had locked away.

Terrwyn knew he was torn . . . torn between elf and human, immortality and mortality. He had told her there was no other choice but the life of an elf, but in that one moment that they connected, she felt his struggle. It was not an easy decision as he would have her believe. This made her want to know him better. She was very curious about him now. She wanted to know what made him this way. Why did he protect himself so adamantly? Why did he choose to show her this small window into the real Feredir? Why did she feel as if she could stay there forever in his world? He was like the hut in the tree, comfort and freedom. Terrwyn laughed to herself. The guard by the door moved only his eyes to see what she found so amusing, and then went back to staring at the wall across from where he stood.

Terrwyn thought how funny that seemed to her. The one person assigned to her, to make sure she remained imprisoned, was the one person that made her feel freedom. It was really too confusing. She should hate him, loath the very ground he silently walked on, but she could not deny the fact that her heart skipped a beat every time Feredir said her name, or looked her in the eyes. The slightest touch sent a spark racing beneath her skin. Something happened when he was near her, when he was more elf than man. Whatever it was, it mystified her, made her want him, made her want the elf . . . made her hate the man.

As Terrwyn sat quietly, drowned in her own thoughts, the door opened to Glandur’s office and Feredir stepped out. She lifted her head and captured his eyes. “The man,” she thought to herself. Anger festered behind his silver depths, partly aimed at her. Still, she longed for his elvish side, which seemed quite buried right now.

“The Captain would like a word with you.” Feredir’s tone was low, as if he would rather not speak to anyone, least of all her.

Terrwyn felt bad for what she’d done, for running away. She made Feredir’s life more miserable and now he didn’t trust her. As she got up from her chair, she looked to him, but he would not look at her. Just as she was beginning to understand him, he made himself unavailable again, throwing up a wall so high, she may never see him again, not as she had seen him in the forest.

Feredir passed her, walking to the exit. As he did, he brushed against her. Terrwyn gasped. His effect on her was still quite prominent. She almost thought she heard him gasp also, a quick intake of air at the shock of their touch, but then maybe she wanted it too much and only imagined it. Terrwyn had a sudden urge to reach out and take his arm, let him know she was sorry, but Feredir was so cold towards her. To touch him now would be a mistake. She walked to the office door and put her hand on the knob, paused and looked over her shoulder. “I am sorry,” she whispered, then went inside.

Glandur was standing behind his desk, replacing a quill back into its inkpot. Without lifting his head, he rolled his eyes, looking at her through his lashes. Terrwyn knew that look. She had seen it before, but not since a child. That was the look of disappointment, the one that said, ‘I had so much faith in you, but now . . .’ There was no need to finish that thought.

“So, you attempted to escape. Is that true?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Would you mind explaining that to me? After all we have done for you here, after all our leniency, why would you take it upon yourself to run away?” Glandur’s tone was serious. He was very displeased.

“I . . . I don’t know why. I saw an opportunity so I took it,” she answered honestly.

“But why would you jeopardize your situation, our trust?” Glandur sincerely wanted to know the answer.

“Captain Glandur, I do appreciate the chance you have given me here. I realize you could just as easily lock me in a cell until my kinsmen came for me. Living here and working amongst the elves has been very rewarding. My whole life I have wanted this opportunity, though not for the same reasons. But I came to realize that time seems to stop, life slows to a snail’s pace when surrounded by immortals. I felt that I had lost track of what really mattered to me.”

Glandur came out from behind his desk and gestured for her to sit. Then he sat in the chair across from hers, folded his hands in his lap and straightened himself. “Did I not promise you that we would help you?”

“You did Captain, but as I said, time seems to slow greatly here in North Ithilien. It has been a month and not one word has reached me of any news. Do you realize winter is more than half over? Come spring, they will come to collect me. I will have no proof of my innocence and my hanging will be finalized. I do not have the luxury of time as the elves do.” Terrwyn paused, looking down at her hands that were shaking slightly.

Glandur noticed this. “There is something else, something more pressing that made you act out.”

A tear escaped her eye. “If I die, there will be no one left to look for my brother. I am all he has.”

Glandur’s heart was ripping apart by the sound of her voice. She still held out such hope, yet he could not help but think it was in vein. “My child,” he said sympathetically. “I understand this, I do. Not knowing is more painful than knowing and dealing with the pain afterwards. Yet, I cannot help but think that your needs are far greater than the outcome. You would risk your life and any hope for a future, just to find out that your brother has long since passed. This, I’m afraid, is what you would discover.”

Terrwyn’s eye lit up with an internal fire. “You do not know. You are not all seeing. If there is only a hair-widths chance that Hathmund is still alive, then I have purpose.” She spoke rather harshly to the Captain, something even his own soldiers did not do. This girl was determined and would never give up. “You of all people should know. Is it not the elves that taught men of hope? Have you separated yourselves so far from humans now, that you can no longer see how you have helped to shape us?” Terrwyn slumped in her chair. “Or do you not care now? Are you only waiting for the call of the sea, not giving any care about those left to their own in Middle-earth? Well, I have hope. One of your own taught me when I was a child never to give up as long as I believed and I believe there is still a chance that my brother lives. So, that is my answer Captain Glandur. Need overpowered my thoughts causing me to risk everything. So if you don’t mind, please tell me my punishment now so that I may be done worrying. If I am to be locked in a cell, so be it. I am ready.”

Glandur laughed, not what Terrwyn expected from him. She thought he would yell for the guards to come, bind her wrists and haul her off to the cells. “My, you have quite a fierce soul don’t you?”

“Sir?” she asked confused by his reaction to her outburst.

“You are right. You have said what many elves have felt lately. We have become so consumed with ourselves and our last plight to the shore, that it may seem we have left Middle-earth already. It is not intentional mind you. I for one am not ready to sail anytime soon. I feel there is much to do yet, but I see how it must look to you. I assure you though; we have not forgotten your case. If information has been scarce, it is my fault and I apologize. I have sent two of my men to Rohan, just as visitors mind you, guests of the King.” Glandur smiled a wicked grin. “But there is nothing saying they cannot inquire about a few things now is there?”

Terrwyn looked worried. “I’m not sure your plan will work. This matter does not involve Ithilien.”

“It does now that we are holding one of their own as a prisoner. Do not worry Lady Terrwyn. They will be discrete. The last thing I want is to endanger the relationship between Rohan and Ithilien. No actions will be taken, only inquiries. Perhaps we can find out more about the two men who you say they are witnesses to the night in question. We will see. In the meantime, I cannot let it escape me that you attempted an evasion. I am afraid I must still hand out a punishment.” He stood from his chair and quietly thought for a moment. “Master Curuven will find some busy work for you to do, but I assure you it will have nothing to do with learning medicine. He will be informed immediately.”

Terrwyn was shocked. “That is it? No prison cells, no chains?”

“It will be hard labor and you might decide the cells would have been a better place to follow out your sentence.”

Glandur finished up with Terrwyn and sent her on her way. As she was leaving she turned back. “One more question, Captain. Will I be assigned a new warden?”

Glandur smiled. “No, Feredir will remain in charge.” He raised an eyebrow showing a humorous mood. “That is his punishment for not following orders.”

Terrwyn let out a sigh. She was not disappointed that Feredir was still her guard, but she did not look forward to his wrath. He would not be happy at all with her, but she could handle him. And maybe, just maybe, she could get to know him a little better. “That’s asking quite a lot,” she thought to herself and left Glandur’s office.
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Journey Of A Butterfly