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Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home	By : IdrilsSecret Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 4869 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. I make no money in the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
- 26
Chapter 25

For the next couple of days, Túron and I met and discussed my plan. I came clean and told him what had happened. He knew about Legolas’ proposal and how Raenor found his letter. He knew about the blackmailing, and my failed attempt to get word to Legolas through the falconer. I now realized that I couldn’t do this alone. I couldn’t involve my brothers in my scheme, and there was no one else I trusted. Túron had no problem helping me. He said it was because his reputation was already tarnished, but I knew it was because he still cared about me and my happiness too.

As luck would have it, Túron had once been my assistant. I was only a Captain then, but he still knew how things ran around the military offices. He had sent out countless orders that I had approved, and even helped to organize meetings and such. He knew how to keep certain people at bay so that I could get work done. Túron had been an asset to me when we worked together. So the first part of my plan came together easily.

Túron needed to get approval to send a crate of books to Mirkwood, and he came to me for help. I needed to get to Mirkwood without raising suspicion. So for a few days, Túron was going to become March warden of the Northern Guard while I took his job as the librarian’s assistant.

I organized countless meetings for my Captains to have with their troops, made sure the practice schedule was full, and then gave myself a pile of work and an order not to be disturbed. I had my whole battalion keeping extremely busy for the next few days to let Túron run things with as little distractions as possible while I was gone. We even went as far as to exchange outfits. That way, at the end of the day, Túron could leave my office and it would look like me, as long as he stayed hidden beneath my hooded cloak. There were so many different things on the schedule, there shouldn’t have been any reason for interruptions, leaving Túron alone while I was gone. I knew he could handle an inquiries that came to my office, and in turn he would keep everyone away.

While Túron acted on my behalf, I would do the same for him. I would dress in his clothes, and join the traders who were responsible for delivering the crate to Mirkwood. Again, I would stay cloaked and hooded. Túron said it shouldn’t be difficult. He was a solitary elf, and he didn’t interact much with the others. In return, they found him odd and left him alone.

The traders wouldn’t have very far to go. They made their deals outside of the Rhovanion. A small band of Wood elves would meet them at their rendezvous point. My plan was to convince the Wood elves to allow me to travel with the crate all the way to the palace. When I, as March warden, gave the order to ship the crate, I made it clear that Master Pallon’s assistant must remain with the delivery to ensure nothing happened to any of the precious books within. As it turned out, there were books inside that once had a home within Mirkwood, called the Greenwood at the time. As evil and their threats grew, these books were sent to Lothlórien for safe keeping. They were one of a kind, personal ledgers of King Oropher, Legolas’ grandsire. He had documented the war up until the time of his death. His entries were an exact account of the war, and something like that couldn’t be replicated. A witness of Lothlórien would need to document the delivery to ensure it arrived as planned.

The day came, and that morning I met with my brothers at Haldir’s talan. “I’m afraid I won’t be available for the next few days. I’ll be buried in paperwork that I must get done.”

“All work and no pleasure,” Orophin jested.

“Yes, I know, but this cannot be helped. It will require long hours and late nights. Oro, I’d appreciate it if you helped to keep interruptions to a minimum.”

“Not a problem,” Orophin agreed. It wasn’t the first time I’d asked him to do this.

“I promise as soon as my time has freed up, we will enjoy one of our evenings together, but for now I must be a recluse.” They both understood, and so my plan was underway. As Oro and I were leaving, Haldir called out to me. I told Orophin to go on without me, and that I’d catch up. Haldir waited until my middle brother was gone before he spoke.

“What is this about, Rúmil?” he inquired with furrowed brows.

“Just work, nothing more,” I said.

“You are behaving strangely,” he said with suspicion. “Something is going on, and I’d like to know what it is.”

“Nothing is going on, dear brother. You are–”

“I know you Rú. You are hiding something.” He cocked his head to the side and observed me. “Have you heard from Legolas as of late?”

I tried to hide my emotions, but my eyes could never hold a secret from Haldir. “It has been a long while.”

“He prepares to leave for Gondor, I’m sure. Thranduil will be sending him as a representative for Mirkwood for the royal wedding,” he informed.

“This much I know.”

Haldir studied me a long moment. “Are you running off to Gondor to join him?”

“What? No. I would not do that.” I sounded guilty already. My voice went higher than normal.

“You’re running off somewhere. Might as well tell me now before I devise of a way to blackmail you.” He said it with humor, but the one word brought terror to my face.

“Please don’t say that,” I said somberly.

Haldir wheeled his chair to where I stood by the door. He grasped my arm and looked up at me pleadingly. “Tell me little brother,” he asked sweetly.

I gave a sigh and rolled my eyes toward the ceiling. “No one knows this, but … I’ve been found out.” Every word was a struggle to get out.

“You mean someone knows about–”

“They know everything.” I hung my head.

Haldir turned his head to the side. I could see his hands ball into fists as he uttered the name. “Raenor.”

I nodded.

“How?”

“I was careless. He found a letter … from Legolas … in which he … he proposed that we … that we become … bond mates.”

Haldir glanced up at me with shock. “He asked you to bind to him?”

“Yes.”

“And what were you going to tell him?” Haldir was more interested in this than the actual problem.

“I don’t know what I was going to say. I was still considering all my options, and finding them to be few. And then there was an emergency, and I fled my office before making sure everything was put away and–”

“And Raenor found the letter,” Haldir said.

I nodded again. “He forced me to answer Legolas in a letter that stated I wished to end our relationship. He made me give it to him to read, and then he sent it to Mirkwood. I tried to intercept it by going to see Cúnon and have a note sent to warn Legolas to disregard the letter, but Raenor beat me to it. By now, Legolas thinks I want nothing more to do with him, but that’s not true. I need to get word to him somehow and tell him that it was false. I am being blackmailed.”

“Let me guess. If you don’t do as Raenor tells you, he will turn you in to Lord Celeborn and ruin mine and Orophin’s careers as well.”

“That’s the story. Now you know. You can yell at me. Tell me how horribly I screwed things up or that I should have known better. There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already berated myself over.”

“What is your plan now?” Haldir asked without lowering his authority over me.

“I was going to go to Mirkwood and see him in person.”

“And just how did you plan to do that?” Haldir’s voice rose.

“You’re not going to like this next part either. I have enlisted Túron to–”

“Túron? You can’t … Are you actually … What kind of a failed plan is this?”

I was almost glad he couldn’t get up out of that chair and smack me in the head. He looked like he wanted to. “It is not failed. I arranged for a shipment from the library to be delivered to Mirkwood. I will go in Túron’s place, and he will take over my position. I’ve made the schedule heavy so I shouldn’t have many inquiries. Túron used to be my assistant, and he knows military procedure. Everything will be just fine.” My explanation was sketchy at best, and I could see that Haldir was confused.

“Preposterous!” he yelled. “I may not be March warden anymore, but I’m your brother, and you oldest brother at that. I forbid you to do this.”

“It’s too late. Túron is already on his way.”

“Then stop him. Stop all of this madness. You do understand that what you have conjured in that demented head of yours will not, nor shall it ever work. You might as well deliver yourself to the Lord and Lady and confess everything right now. It will be easier than trying to explain any of this.”

I flopped down on his couch, feeling defeated before I had started anything. “You don’t understand. Nobody understands. The things I was forced to write in that letter … Legolas will never speak to me again, and I don’t think I can go on knowing that. I know you think this is nothing more than some frivolous act. But I’m telling you that I’m an ellon desperate to save the most important thing in my life, and that’s my relationship with him. I can feel it, Haldir. I can feel the emptiness in my soul. He’s read that letter and he thinks I’ve abandoned him. How am I supposed to go on allowing him to think that without even trying to make it right? This isn’t how it was with Fandir or even Túron. When they were gone, I gathered the broken pieces of my heart and went on. But Legolas, he holds my heart and my soul. If he throws them away, I will not get them back. They will be gone forever and so my will to go forward does not exist. For the first time, I have found someone who wants me no matter who I am or what I do. Someone who is willing to compromise just to ensure my happiness. And in turn, I have to be willing to make certain adjustments too. This was what we were working on before Raenor ruined everything. Now, Legolas thinks I will not even try, that I’ve given up altogether. I’m not abandoning Lothlórien or my position as March warden, but I need Legolas in my life. That’s what it all comes down to.” I was exhausted after confessing the truth. No one knew just how deep my love for Legolas was. I didn’t expect Haldir to understand. I didn’t think he’d ever found true love as I had. I just wanted him to let me do what I needed to do.

“I had no idea,” Haldir said softly after a long silence. “And you said in his letter, he asked you to bind to him?”

“He did.”

“And you understand that a decision like that lasts until the ends of the worlds.”

“I do. And I know what will happen if he disappears from my life or I from his. It feels like … like we are already bound. I am desperate to get him back. I’m willing to do anything.”

Haldir went silent again. He was considering something. I thought it was about whether to let me get on with my plan or not. Time was running short, and if I wanted to head out with the traders, I needed to leave now. Finally, he looked at me from his chair. “Has Legolas ever spoken to you about the events that happened while he was gone with the fellowship?”

I wasn’t sure what this had to do with anything, but I answered. “He told me quite a bit. It was a very challenging time, but it was a success, and because of his deeds, evil has been vanquished and the world of men shall advance as it should.”

“Did he ever tell you about his time spent sailing to Gondor?”

I thought about it a moment. “Actually, yes. He told me about gaining the Army of the Dead, and capturing the Corsair ships. It was all part of their plan.”

“He didn’t tell you anything else?”

“He was a bit vague, but … why are you asking me this, Haldir?” He moved his chair backward and rolled over to a window that overlooked the many pathways in Lothlórien. He was really worrying me. What did he know about Legolas that I did not? “Hal?” I whispered, almost afraid to ask.

Finally, he glanced over his shoulder and spoke. “I will help you.”

“You’ll … help me?” I was completely thrown by this.

“Your plan is failed. Go now and tell Túron to send word to the Librarian that March warden Rúmil must go in person to deliver the books.”

“What? But–”

“Do you want to see Legolas before he leaves for Gondor?” Haldir said stern and to the point.

“Yes, of course.” I thought I better not argue lest he change his mind.

“Then tell Túron he is not needed except to send the message. Tell your Captains that you have official business in Mirkwood. I will sit in for you while you are gone, but you need to leave as soon as possible.”

I was dumbfounded and stood where I was as I tried to register what was taking place. When I could finally move again, I went to my brother and got on my knees so that we were eye to eye. “Why are you doing this? I thought you didn’t want me to–”

“I don’t,” he said, his voice cracked with emotion. “But there is no mistaking what it is you feel in your heart. I know this because … I found that very same thing once. I chose differently. You should not. Especially not with Legolas now that he’s–” Haldir cut his words short and would not finish the sentence. He looked into my eyes, and I thought I saw the glimmer of a tear, but thought better and blamed it on the lighting. “Leave today, Rúmil. Speak to Legolas before he leaves for the White City. Hopefully it is not too late. I’ll do what I can to keep Raenor at bay, but you’ll have a bloody mess on your hands when you get back. Don’t worry,” he paused to smile. “We will figure this out. We always do.”

Haldir hinted to his past, and I remembered the little gold tube that Cúnon gave to me, the one he’d taken from Haldir’s drawer. I still had it tucked away inside my tunic. Could it be that he’d meant to send this to the person he spoke of? I reached for my hidden pocket and retrieved the tube. “While I was at Cúnon’s home, he gave this to me. I’d forgotten about it. I should have given it to you sooner, but with everything happening . . .”

Haldir stared at the golden vessel, as though he was afraid to touch it. Apparently, he hadn’t thought about it in a long while, maybe he’d forgotten it was there, a piece of his past catching up to him. Slowly, he reached for it, taking it from my hand. He held it in his fingers, studying it a moment, but he didn’t open it.

“I have your drawer too,” I said to break the silent tension. “But it’s at my flet. Cúnon said you might want it.”

“He’s making you your own drawer I suppose,” Haldir said, his eyes never leaving the message container.

I nodded.

Haldir blinked several times, breaking the trance he was in. He palmed the little vessel and looked up at me. His eyes had changed, and I saw a distant light in them, the one that had always filled them before the accident. I thought that whoever that message was meant to reach held a similar light in his eyes for Haldir. I hoped that one day he would tell me his story, but now was not the time.

“You should be on your way soon. Don’t fret about things here. I will take care of it,” Haldir said.

I leaned onto my brother and hugged him. I finally had someone on my side, someone who understood what I was going through. I cupped his face and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Brother.”

“I love you too. Now hurry. There’s not much time.”

“I’m going right now,” I said as I stood.

“Take my horse if you want. She’s better for long travel. She requires fewer stops,” he said.

“All right,” I answered. Then a thought occurred to me. “But how will I explain my need to travel ahead of cargo?”

“I’ll think something up. Don’t worry about any of this here. All you need to do is get to Mirkwood quickly and talk to Legolas.”

“If you say so. All right. I’m leaving. Thank you again, Hal.”

“Go on,” he said shooing me toward the door. “And be careful navigating the Rhovanion. It is not completely devoid of the creatures just yet.”

I heard him say this as I exited his home. Then I ran back to my flet and packed for my journey. Next, I found Túron and told him about the change in plans, making sure he knew that Haldir was a part of it now. If Túron needed to go to anyone for anything, he could count on my brother to help. He wished me well and I headed for the stables, where I took Haldir’s horse, and started out on the path to my questionable future.

>>------->

I finally broke over the border and entered the Rhovanion, finding it much the same as it was the last time I came here. It was still dark and dismal. The trees’ gnarled trunks and branches made it seem like they were weeping, and they probably were. I could not hear them. They must have stopped talking centuries ago. It still smelled of decay, but it was not as putrid as it once had been. A great number of beasts were either killed or fled from the land at the death of Lord Sauron. However, this much evil would not be vanquished easily. There were still creatures lurking in the dark places, hidden by shadows where they waited for their next victim to come by. I would make sure I was not one of them.

I couldn’t travel the trees like the Wood elves had taught me. Because I was in a hurry, I took Haldir’s horse into the forest. There was a path to follow, and as long as I didn’t meet trouble, it would cut my travel time down by half. Belan was a magnificent beast, used to dealing with difficult situations, and I felt very safe riding her. I could tell if something was close to us by the different sounds she would make. She was nervous, and that was natural, but she would not throw me like the last horse I brought here.

About an hour into my travels through the dark forest, I heard the familiar bird calls and remembered Legolas using them to signal his people. The Wood elves knew I was here. I checked to make sure I looked non-threatening. My bow was securely fastened, knives sheathed, and I took my hood down so they would know it was me. I reached up with both hands, and started to push the hood of my cape back when I felt something wrap around my waist. Before I had a moment to see what it was, I was yanked from my horse, and landed hard on the ground. My horse, trained to stay with her fallen rider, trotted irritatingly around me. I glanced down at my waist to see what pulled me down, and just caught sight of the end of a rope whipping along the forest floor. Elvish rope, I thought. Lothlórien used it too. With just a flick, it could tie itself tight and with just a tug, come loose easily. I remembered Galadriel gifting a length to one of the hobbits when Legolas’ fellowship left Caras Galadhon. I hadn’t known that Mirkwood had possession of any elvish rope. I knew it now.

She dropped down from a nearby tree, two other female elves with her. She was a sight for sore eyes … at first. And then I saw the rage on her face as she came a little closer.

“Corweth, I’m glad it’s you,” I called out as I started to get up. “I need to get to the palace as fast as we–”

“You’re not welcome here,” she said sternly.

I was afraid of this. Corweth was very protective of those she loved and cared about. She never really warmed up to me, not at first. It was her sister, Messel who I dealt with. Of course, she was gone now. It hurt my heart to think of that day, when she died in battle. But I thought Corweth and I had finally made amends after that. Not now. Now she looked like she wanted to skewer me through my gut. It was apparent to me. She knew about my letter to Legolas, and she was angry. “Please, if you give me a moment, I can explain.”

“I’m not the one you need to talk to,” she said.

“Then he is here?” I asked impatiently. “Legolas is still at the palace?” I got no response except for three sets of eyes that wished for my extermination.

She studied me carefully, her ire the most prominent emotion, but there was something underlying in her steely gaze. She was wrestling with her thoughts. “I have my orders. I am to see that you make your way back from whence you came.”

“By whose orders? The king or the prince,” I challenged her. I wasn’t going to give up now after coming all this way and risking everything in the process.

“You must leave. Now,” she said, and her two companions took a step closer to me. I was going to be escorted away no matter what.

“Corweth, please, just listen to me. I must see him. I have to explain the letter. It wasn’t me. I swear to you that is the truth.” I didn’t know anything else to do but beg. Corweth, once her mind was made, wouldn’t listen to anyone. It had always been Messel who made her see reason.

After a few nerve wrecking moments, she finally glanced over each shoulder and gave a nod to her companions, signaling for them to give us a private moment alone to talk. I’d never been so relieved. I watched the other two elves walk off into the dark woods, and waited until I was sure they were far enough away before I released the breath I was holding. Then, I let my shoulders relax and was about to speak when Corweth lunged at me and pinned me to the closest tree. Before I knew what had happened, she had two knives out, one at my throat and the other at my bollocks. I didn’t dare move a muscle.

“M-my, y-you’re much faster than I r-remember,” I stammered nervously. I was more worried about the knife below than the one at my throat.

“Do you remember what I told you when you first came to Mirkwood?” she said venomously.

“You said I was pompous and arrogant,” I answered. I felt the back of her hand press tighter against the inside of my thigh and swallowed the lump in my throat.

She leaned closer, her lips up against my ear, and whispered, “I said that if you ever hurt Legolas I would cut off your balls and feed them to the spiders. And my company and I just came across evidence of a nest. We happened to be in the middle of figuring out an approach to attacking it when you came along. Perhaps I’ll do so by distracting them with a meal . . .” She paused and glanced down at my crotch. “More like a snack … aye?”

“At least you didn’t say morsel.” That was a mistake. She was in no mood for jesting. The knife pressed against my throat, and her other hand began to tremble slightly. One false move and I’d be turned from a rooster to a hen. “All right. All right,” I said submissively. “You’re right, and I do remember your threat. But you have to know that love him, and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. That letter … it wasn’t … I didn’t … I was blackmailed and forced to write it. I’ve been found out, Corweth. My position in the army, my family name, mine and my brothers’ reputation is all at risk. By coming here, I’ve put it all on the line, and I’ve done it to make things right between Legolas and me. But I can only do that if you’ll let me go to the palace and make my plea. I’m begging you to let me through. Take me in as a prisoner. Tie my wrists, my legs. Drag me the rest of the way from the back of my horse. I don’t care, just let me speak to him before it’s too late.”

“It may be too late already,” she said.

“Sounds to me as though there is still a sliver of a chance,” I smiled carefully. I felt her hand relax away from my lower region, but I still didn’t move a muscle. I hadn’t gotten through to her yet, and dared to make my next statement. “Messel would have let me through.”

“Don’t,” Corweth warned dangerously.

“You know it is true. Out of all of us, she was the one who always saw the positive in any situation.” I hoped my words were softening her heart, if just a tiny bit.

She didn’t move for what seemed like forever. Finally, she lowered both weapons and took a step back. She just glared at me, unsure whether to speak to me or not. “That letter destroyed him,” she said quietly.

My stomach clenched to think of him reading it. “I tried to intervene and send a note before it arrived, but my enemy was quicker than me. There was nothing I could do to stop it. That’s why I’m here now. I can feel the emptiness in my heart. Legolas has given up on me.”

“He’s given up on a lot of things lately. He’s not himself. He hasn’t been since he came home after the war. I tried to talk to him about it, but he told me he was tired. He said it was a very difficult journey he’d been on, and it would take time to get used to being home.” The ire returned to her eyes as she narrowed them on me. “And then that letter came. I hardly see him anymore. He locks himself away in his room. Not even Thranduil can make him come out. I fear for what dark shadow has cast itself upon him. Maybe … maybe you can cast some light upon him once more. Or maybe he’ll order you to be hung.” She said the last part as though meant to be a joke, but I couldn’t help noticing the seriousness of her undertone.

“I will accept the punishment, if that is what it will take to make him whole again,” I said. “I care only for Legolas and his well-being, not for my own.” I softened the features on my face and took her hand gently in mine. “Let me at least try, Corweth.”

She tried to remain stern, and her hard stare barely faltered, but just barely. I saw it before she said it. She still believed in me and Legolas. Without taking her eyes from me, she whistled twice and her companions came back. “We will escort him to the palace.”

The female elf on her right stepped forward. “But you were told to–”

“He comes with us, and that is final,” Corweth interrupted. She reminded me of Haldir in that instant, whenever one of his captains used to question him. “I will take full responsibility for my actions. Neither of you will be reprimanded. All I ask is that both of you run on ahead and notify the king about our visitor so that there are no surprises.”

“Are you sure you trust him?” the elf on her left asked.

“I do. We will travel slower because of the horse, but we won’t be far behind. Now go on,” Corweth demanded.

I watched the two elves head off through the forest and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. You might not like what you find once we get there,” she warned.

I called to my horse, and we took our positions. Corweth told me where to go so that we could navigate the forest safely. We didn’t speak for the longest time. I didn’t know what to say, and she wasn’t in a talking mood. Corweth was tense at this point. I thought she seemed worried about the response when she came back to the palace with me in tow. She had disobeyed her orders, and I knew Thranduil did not tolerate that kind of behavior. I was sure it was the king who gave the orders to turn me away. He never much cared for me as a companion to his son, although he never tried to stop us before. I hadn’t torn his son’s heart out then either. I knew of the king’s overbearing protectiveness towards his only son. I was now a threat, and that would not bode well in the king’s halls.

“You were right about Messel,” Corweth said, surprising me when she suddenly spoke after such a long silence. “She always did have the ability to not assume malice so quickly. She was constantly trying to teach me the same, but I always assume the worst. Without her here, I find it difficult to see both sides.”

“Even with a friend, it seems,” I said to remind her that we had once found common ground between us.

“You still see me as such?” Corweth asked lightly from behind me as my horse walked steadily along the path. We were moving at a slow pace so that roots and stones wouldn’t hurt her feet.

“Of course. Nothing has changed, at least not for me.” I needed Corweth to trust me again. I might need her support once I got to the palace.

“So, what happened, Rúmil? How did your secret get out? Did someone see you with another ellon?” Her tone was accusatory, and I wondered what she had conjured up in her mind.

“No,” I said, revolted by her idea that I would take another lover to my bed. “Absolutely not. Why would you think such a thing?”

“You have been separated for a long time, and that causes much pent up desire. Am I right?” She was looking for a reason to hate me again. It was easier for her to reject than to accept.

“You are completely off the mark. I would never do that to Legolas,” I said with defiance, wishing I could get away from her accusations. Unfortunately, we were stuck on the back of a horse together until we got to the palace. “I thought you knew what took place between Legolas and me. I thought that was why you were so angered by that letter he received.”

“All I know is that you two were head over heels the last time I saw you together, and then you sent that horrible note.”

“Did you not see the letter?” I asked.

“I saw him reading it. I saw the pure joy on his face as he broke the seal, and then the disbelief and heartbreak as he eyes scanned down the parchment. I asked him what was wrong. For a moment, I thought something happened to you … that you died in a battle perhaps. Legolas stumbled and I ran to catch him. I asked him what happened, fearing the worst, but it was more injurious than what my mind could come up with. The last thing I expected Legolas to say was that you rejected him completely. I watched his soul get crushed right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

I felt tears well in my eyes, and I was glad she could not see my face from her position. I knew that letter would hurt him, but I guess I hoped that a part of him would question it, perhaps reject the notion that I was capable of such a thing. It hurt to know that he took it as truth without second guessing it, and I wondered if somewhere deep down Legolas feared this day would come to light.

“Did Legolas tell you about his letter to me?” I asked when I found my voice again after swallowing the tears that threatened to fall.

“No,” she said. “If you are going to try and tell me that this was Legolas’ fault–”

“It wasn’t like that. Not in the least.” I paused to catch my breath. These memories were difficult to think about at the moment. “The last time we were together, he left me a note to read after he was gone. He asked me to become his bond mate.”

“He proposed?” She seemed surprised by this. I didn’t think she knew. I nodded. “But he didn’t mention it.” She sat back and slumped away from me. “Now it makes sense,” she whispered more to herself than to me.

“What makes sense?” I asked.

“The king. He’s been rather harsh lately, more so than usual. His relationship with Legolas has been strained. They didn’t speak to each other for a couple weeks. Legolas must have told him.”

“But I didn’t give him an answer, not right away,” I told her. I didn’t want her to think that I had been a part of any falling out between father and son. “I wanted to take my time, to make sure I understood what it would mean for us, especially living in two different places.”

“But it goes much further than that. If you legally bind to Legolas, you could have claim over Mirkwood, and that is something Thranduil would never agree to,” she said.

“I don’t want anything of the sort, and I would be willing to sign a document stating as such.”

“That’s not how the king would perceive it. He would see your binding as a threat, a take over from the Golden Realm. He must have had this argument with Legolas, and it forced them apart. And then your letter came. When Legolas read it, he must have gone to his father, and now Thranduil protects him because he fears that your rejection has escalated the–” She cut herself of quickly.

“What are you talking about?” This conversation was not making sense to me.

“You do not know?” she asked. I shook my head. “It is not for me to tell you then.”

“You’re not the first person to say that to me,” I mumbled. “Just tell me if Legolas is still in Mirkwood.”

“As far as I know he is, but my companions and I have been out here on patrol for two nights.”

“Do you know when Legolas is leaving for the crowning of the new king in Gondor?”

“I don’t know. That was one of the arguments Legolas had with his father. Thranduil doesn’t want him to go, but Legolas insists. He grew very close to those he traveled with during his journey … even to the dwarf. He goes to Gondor not only to represent Mirkwood, but to honor his friendships.”

“All the more reason why we must hurry. I need to see him before he leaves,” I said desperately.’’

>>------->

We finally arrived, and entered the underground palace. It had been a long time since I’d been here, but it still looked familiar to me. I thought that I could navigate the hallways and tunnels, and still find my way around.

We passed the kitchen and I glanced inside, seeing the shelves across the room. I remembered them with fondness. Legolas and I started our friendship there. I could remember my urgency to leave Mirkwood after I delivered a message to the king, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with a mischievous elf who tricked me into staying much longer than I wanted to. Those were good days when we were just discovering each other. I remembered how nervous he made me with his lustful stares and suggestive behavior. I had held him off as long as I could, but soon I found that I couldn’t be away from him. I couldn’t be away from him now, but I was worried he wouldn’t take me back. That letter that Raenor forced me to send might have destroyed it all, no matter what I tried to do to make things right again.

Corweth brought me to the grand hall, and we stood outside for a moment. She paced back and forth a few times. I thought she was trying to get her story straight in her head before facing her king and explaining why she went back on his orders to send me away.

“I’m just going to tell him what you told me. That there was foul play amidst, and that you wanted the chance to make amends,” she told herself.

“I’ll take all the blame if that’s what we need to do to spare you any punishment,” I tried to reassure her. I didn’t think it was working. “Tell him I forced you to bring me.”

Corweth cocked her head and raised a brow. “You … forced me?”

“You’re right. He’ll never believe that. Why do you have to be so bullheaded,” I complained lightly.

“Whatever you do, don’t give in to the king. Make him hear your side of things. He won’t want to. He’ll try to deny you your right to speak. He’ll try and fluster you, throw you off your game, but you must keep your head,” she advised.

“I will,” I said, and thought about how many times I’d done the same thing with Legolas. They were very much alike, Thranduil and his son. All I had to remember was that my main goal was to speak with Legolas. Thranduil was just a boulder put in my path. It would be difficult to move, but not impossible. There was always a way.

I took a deep breath and gave Corweth a nod. She nodded in return and pushed open the thick double doors, marching into the King’s Hall. I heard him before I saw him.

“Ah, Corweth, finally you have returned,” Thranduil called from his throne perched high on his dais across the stone bridge. I had always admired this large cavernous room with its tall pillars carved from deep beneath the earth. I had kissed Legolas on that bridge once, in front of all his friends and acquaintances.

“I have, my lord,” Corweth said and bowed just inside the door.

“Well, come in. Tell me what news you bring from the Rhovanion,” Thranduil greeted her.

“I have brought someone with me,” she said in warning.

Thranduil moved to the edge of his throne and glared across the bridge. “I thought I told you to be rid of him.” His words were spoken in anger.

“I tried, my lord, but–”

“I’m afraid I insisted that I come here, and I think you know why,” I said, stepping inside the doorway, coming to stand next to Corweth. “She tried everything short of dragging my corpse back to the border.”

“Then she did not try hard enough,” Thranduil complained.

“Please don’t blame Corweth. Even if she had taken me back across the border, I would have found my way here eventually. I was determined to come.”

“You’re not welcome here,” Thranduil seethed slowly, each word pronounced thick like honey. “Guards!” he called out, and I saw two very tall muscular elves dressed in full Mirkwood guard uniforms come from each side of the dais and moved toward the bridge.

“Wait!” Corweth called. “My king, you know I do not take your orders lightly, and I’ve never gone against any of your commands. However, I would ask that, just this once, please hear him out. Let him speak with you first before you cast him from your sight, and then make your determination.”

It felt like an age as Thranduil glared at me from a distance. I could tell that he didn’t want to do this, and if it wasn’t for Legolas’ involvement, I would have been picked up and carried out by those two large guards by now. But the king loved his son, and sometimes that meant doing what he didn’t care to do. Finally, Thranduil nodded to each guard, and they disappeared into the alcoves at each side of the dais. Then, he raised his chin and stared down his nose at me. “Come,” was his only command.

I glanced at Corweth and she nodded. Then I made the long walk across the bridge. It felt as though I was going to my death, but I reminded myself that I was another step closer to seeing Legolas, and explaining my situation. I couldn’t really blame Thranduil for hating me at the moment. He was trying to protect his son, to spare his heart any more damage. He didn’t understand that I was here to mend Legolas’ heart as well as mine.

I was finally at the edge of the dais. Thranduil stood in the center, his long green robes draped over his shoulders, cascading over his tall body where they ended at the floor. The golden edge embroidery glimmered in the candlelight, and his crown flashed with red and green jewels. His thick dark brows angled inward making him look angry and intimidating. I could tell he didn’t want me here, and it was probably futile to think he would give consideration to anything I had to say.

“You’ve caused enough damage,” Thranduil started.

“I know, but there is an explanation for my–”

“I don’t want explanations. I want to know why. Why did you hurt him like that?”

I was shocked by the king’s tender tone. He genuinely wanted to know. I could see Thranduil hurt too, and it scared me. What kind of shape was Legolas in? “I didn’t want to hurt him. I love him more than anything. He is my life source and I don’t think I can go on without him,” I confessed.

“He told me he asked you to be his bond mate, and that you turned him down,” Thranduil explained. “I thought at first that you were wise enough to know that could never happen, and you let him down easily. And then he showed me your letter. Such a cruel thing to do to someone so close to . . .” He paused to reword his sentence. “. . . to someone who hears the distant shores.”

I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly, and I took a couple steps sideways. “He has what?” I asked with disbelief.

“You heard me. My son … he is … he is not long for this world. He has heard the calling.” Thranduil said with such sorrow.

“But when? How?” I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Legolas had the sea longing? But he was still so young, and he loved Middle-earth. He loved Mirkwood. I couldn’t imagine him suddenly wanting to sail to Valinor. “What brought this on?”

“He said he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to worry about him. Instead, he thought that by having you as his bond mate, it would help tie him to the earth, and ease his longing. And then that letter came. He was ready to leave that day. Said he would travel to Mithlond and take up residence at the Grey Havens until a ship was available. I stopped him from doing that. I convinced him to stay here. That I still needed my son in my life because I have no desire to sail. Legolas needed to know that someone still depended on him, and that was me. But he is still fighting the song. I see him every once in a while, staring into the west. He hears them calling and he cannot turn away.” Thranduil came to his full height and flung his cape from his shoulders, tossing it onto his throne where it draped across the arms of the chair. He came toward me and glared at me from his towering position on the dais. “I am his anchor now. You will only drive him away from me, away from this land. I want you gone from this place, and never come back here again. As for Lothlórien, if we have any dealings with your kingdom, it will be handled by someone else, not you. You are no longer welcome in Mirkwood. If you care about Legolas, you will stay far away from him, and leave him alone like you told him in your letter.”

The letter. I’d almost forgot. The news of Legolas’ sea longing was such a shock. Thranduil walked away, going to his private meeting chamber, the door which was at the back of the dais. I couldn’t let him leave yet. He still needed to hear me out. “I wrote that letter. That is the truth, but I did not mean a single word put on parchment.”

Thranduil stopped and looked over his shoulder, not wanting to give me his full attention again. “Do you take me for a fool?”

“No. Rather, I was the fool. I was … I was found out by one of the March wardens. He blackmailed me, said he would ruin me and my brothers if I didn’t do as he said. You see, he found Legolas’ proposal. It was my own fault. I should have burned it like all the rest, but that one was special to me. He proclaimed his undying love for me in that note. It just didn’t feel right to set it to flame and watch his promise burn. I’ll admit, I took longer than I should have to answer him, and perhaps that’s part of the reason why he hates me. When I didn’t come back right away with my answer, he must have thought I would decline his proposal. By the time I had made my mind up, it was too late. And I tried. I tried to get word to Legolas that would arrive before that horrid letter, but as I said, it was too late. Now, I am here to set things straight, to tell Legolas that I meant none of those things, and that I’ll love him for the rest of my days. You see, your son is already a part of my soul, and he owns my heart. Whether we bind or not, it doesn’t matter. There will never be another for me. So I came here to speak with him, not to hurt him, but to tell him what I should have told him a long time ago. I don’t want Legolas to sail either, Thranduil. Perhaps if I can fix this and let him know how much he means to me, I can be his anchor too. Together, maybe we can both be that to him. Will you let me speak to him? Please?” I begged. I laid it all out for the king to see.

Thranduil thought about my question, considering my offer carefully. He was stern and intimidating, but I thought that as a father, he would not deny his son the truth. “I cannot do that,” he finally said.

I was done pleading with this stubborn elf. “I thought you said you loved your son, and that you wanted to see him happy. If you will not let me explain the reason for that letter, he will continue to fade away, and the Grey Havens will be inevitable. You will lose your son. Even if Legolas wants nothing to do with me ever again, at least let him know the truth.”

“You cannot speak with him because he is not here,” Thranduil finished explaining. “He has already left to attend the coronation in Gondor.”

“He’s gone already? But I thought there were still a couple days before he had to leave.” I couldn’t believe he’d left this soon, but then again, he might not have wanted to be confined to his father’s halls in his state. “When did he leave?” If he left yesterday or this morning, I could probably catch up to him.

“He left two days ago. He said he was meeting with his dwarf friend, and they were taking the scenic route to Gondor, keeping promises or some fool thing like that.”

My heart was shattering. I came all this way to talk to Legolas, argued with his father, who could have thrown me in the cells at any time, and spilled my deepest feelings out for all to see, just to be told that he was not here. Not only that, but he’d been gone for a couple days already. I could not catch up to him. I was already taking a risk by coming to Mirkwood. If Raenor found out he would go straight to Lord Celeborn. Following Legolas to Gondor wasn’t even an option at this point. I had to leave now so that I could get back to Lothlórien before I was found out. There was nothing I could do except one thing.

“Can you tell him what I told you today?” I said, defeated. Thranduil didn’t deny me so I went on. “Tell him the truth, and tell him that I love him. Tell him, I’m sorry.”

Thranduil gave a subtle nod and I left. I crossed the stone bridge, stopping in the exact spot where Legolas kissed me. I looked around at the great hall, and knew I would probably never step foot here again. I exited the double doors, and found Corweth waiting for me. She didn’t say anything. She could see by the look on my face that I wasn’t successful.

“What happened?” she asked.

“He’s gone already,” I said.

“He left for Gondor so soon?” She seemed surprised.

“Thranduil said he went with the dwarf, Gimli. They are journeying together to Gondor. He told me how they became friends and promised to show each other places that were special to them.” I looked at her deep in the eyes. “You knew about the sea longing, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “It wasn’t my place to say anything. Legolas didn’t want anyone to know except for a few of his closest friends.”

“Do you how it happened? Or when it first took affect?” I wondered.

“Legolas didn’t go into much detail about it. I think talking about it made it seem too real. He was trying his best to let it subside until he could tell you,” she said sadly, knowing we might not see each other again. “What will you do now?”

“I have to go home. I have to leave now before someone becomes suspicious. And then I guess I will go back to business as usual in Lothlórien.”

Corweth took my hand in hers, something she had never done before. She was not one for expressing herself. “You promised that when you came back to Mirkwood, you would visit my sister’s resting place. Will you go with me now, before you leave?”

I hadn’t thought about that, but I did indeed make Corweth that promise. “I would very much like to see her, yes,” I forced a smile.

>>------->

Meanwhile, in the throne room . . .

Thranduil waited until he was certain that Rúmil was gone before he entered his private meeting chamber. He knocked three times, and a guard opened the door from within. Sitting in a chair, kept under the watchful eye of Thranduil’s three most trusted guards was Legolas, scowling at his father.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Thranduil complained.

“He came, Ada. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Can you not see how much he cares about me?” Legolas pleaded.

“It is for your own good that you do not see him again.”

“But you heard him,” Legolas said in a raised voice. “He didn’t write that letter. I told you I questioned it in the first place, but you convinced me that Rúmil had finally bent to the laws of his home.”

“You were not much more than a corpse for weeks after that letter came,” Thranduil argued. “You said you would leave. I was the one who told you to stay. I’ve been the one who’s helped you keep the longing at bay.”

“You never gave Rúmil a chance. As soon as I told you about my proposal, you shut me down,” Legolas argued.

“You don’t understand the complication your binding would cause. You are the prince, for Eru’s sake. If something should happen to me, you would be king. To bind yourself to an elf of Lothlórien would mean that kingdom would have say over Mirkwood.”

Legolas stood from his chair, and the guards closed in on him. He scowled at them. “You can call off your dogs, Father. I’ll not try anything foolish.”

Thranduil watched his son a moment and then he nodded to the guards, who stepped away. “Leave us,” he commanded, and they left the room.

Legolas waited until they were alone before he picked up his argument. “I don’t see how you come up with that idea about Lothlórien. Rúmil is not royalty. He has no blood ties to the Lord and Lady. It is just me and him. The kingdoms are not a part of that, at least not Lothlórien.” Legolas’ eyes turned to slits. “Unless it is just your prejudice against Lothlórien. Is that it?”

“There are too many complications,” Thranduil answered. “For one, Rúmil’s standing within the army. You know of their laws. And now his secret is out. How did you think you could still go through with this? How did you think you could live as a married couple while he is still March warden? And now you’ve been touched by the longing. Remember what your heart felt like moments ago when you thought Rúmil had meant the things he wrote in that letter. I watched you break. I saw you slipping away.” Thranduil went to his son and clasped a hand to his shoulder. His eyes softened as he spoke. “I saw my son fading away, and it made my own heart hurt.” Thranduil lowered his eyes and turned from his son. “When your mother died, I felt what you feel now. It is a loneliness that is indescribable. It eats away at your soul, the very thing that makes you who you are. And without something to hold you to this land, you will surely fade to nothingness. You were the one thing that held me here. My little leaf, my tiny son. It amazed me how something so small was able to help me heal. I grieved the loss of your mother for a long time, but I no longer felt the pull of death. And that time you were injured … when you died … twice . . .” Thranduil paused and slowly shook his head. “I felt the pull again, and realized that you were my anchor all along. Now I am yours. Do you see now why I fear what will happen without you here?”

Legolas suddenly felt the guilt of not considering his father’s feelings. This must be what Rúmil felt about his brothers, wanting to keep them safe, keep them apart from his affairs. Family was most important, and should always be considered first. “I’m sorry, Ada. I don’t want to cause you any grief, but I want to live my own life.”

“And I agree, but maybe now is not the right time. You need to adjust to your newfound affliction. It could be years, centuries before the pull is so demanding that you cannot ignore it anymore. Maybe by then, Rúmil will be ready to sail too, and in Valinor you can finally be together. But there are too many complications here, too many ways for disappointment to creep in and speed up the process. And I am not ready to lose you yet, my son.”

“I understand what you are saying. I don’t want to lose you either. But Ada, I don’t want to lose Rúmil. The emptiness he said he felt, I feel it too. It is true what they say about two souls perfectly balanced for each other. We are already bound. We need no ceremony to unite us. It has already been done. I know that now. I knew it the moment I read that letter. I felt the extreme loss of his connection. And hearing him just now, telling you that he was forced to write it, and that he still loves me and needs me, I feel my soul mending. I’ll not sail from these shores until he is ready. He is my stability, my mainstay. His love is the security I need to know the longing will remain dormant.”

Thranduil seemed to give in. Nothing he could do or say would keep Legolas away from the one he loved, and to try would only make his need stronger. “How will you do this?”

Legolas shook his head. “I don’t know, but I am willing to do anything it takes, and the first step is letting him know that I have not abandoned him.” Legolas hugged his father and whispered in his ear. “I will not leave you, Ada. I will remain in Mirkwood if it means your happiness. You have suffered so much loss already. I will not add to it. But please. Please, let me go to him. I cannot stand the thought of him going home, and not knowing my true feelings.”

Thranduil held his son as he hadn’t since he was just an elfling. He had tried to keep Legolas and Rúmil apart, but he now knew it was impossible. To keep them separated would cause more harm than good. “I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been a loving father who cares as much for his son as he does for his kingdom,” Legolas said.

Thranduil released Legolas and looked into his eyes. “More than for his kingdom, for without you, this place has no meaning to me.” He smiled and kissed each of Legolas’ cheeks before returning to his stern deportment. “You should hurry before he gets too far.”

“Thank you, Ada,” Legolas said with a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, son.” Thranduil watched Legolas dash from the room. The guards were outside of the door and they started to go after him as he ran across the stone bridge. “Let him go,” Thranduil commanded his guards. They stopped and turned to their king. “It is all right. I’ve given him permission.” He watched Legolas finish crossing the bridge and disappear through the double doors of the great hall. He knew he had done the right thing, but it felt as though he might never see Legolas again. It was just a feeling. He knew his son would not disappear forever, but now Thranduil feared for his own longing. His son was always the thing that grounded him. He never thought the day would come when he’d have to worry what would happen without the boy. Thranduil used to imagine Legolas falling in love with an elleth, binding to her, giving the kingdom tine princes and princesses that would insure the future of the royal bloodline. That would never happen, and when Legolas sailed, Thranduil would have no choice but to go too. This was the reason he let his son go. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps Rúmil was his anchor now, and in turn it would mean Thranduil’s continued rule over Mirkwood, for he loved his kingdom and his people. Thranduil would hope he made the right decision, and only time would tell.
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Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home