Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Nothing Gold Can Stay	By : TAFKAB Category: +Third Age > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 5309 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 25
- 26
- 27
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Legolas and Haldir escaped Sméagol's chatter by hunting together, ranging far and wide along the river, going so far as the western edge of the forest. Though Haldir's company did much to soothe Legolas, he still felt disquiet and sorrow deep in his soul, and he knew the other elf could see it.

Haldir did not press, but gave him space to speak of it on his own. Legolas was glad, though he knew he would speak soon.

“A fine shot!” Haldir applauded as Legolas brought down a leaping buck from afar and it fell by the edge of Anduin. “You would be welcome on the marches, should you ever desire to leave the Greenwood and come to the Golden.”

Legolas smiled a little. “Your words are kind, but I think I must not accept your well-meant invitation.”

“Is it because of the dwarf? How long must you play wet nurse to him?”

Legolas frowned his displeasure. “Speak not of him so, Haldir. He is a valiant comrade.” He gave Haldir a wry look. “And yet, can you imagine him in the Golden Wood? He would be as unhappy among the trees as a fish atop a mountain.”

“You are fond of him, though he troubles you.” They loped across the meadow to skin the deer. “Both more so than appears on the surface, I think.”

Legolas set his jaw and took out a coil of rope, throwing it over a nearby tree-branch. Together they hoisted the deer by one leg and set about cleaning and skinning the animal.

“It is too late for us to add this hide to our tanning pot,” Haldir lamented. “A pity, but the lady means to move on soon, I believe.”

Legolas only nodded at him. He could not bring himself to care.

“What troubles you?” Haldir murmured, slitting open the deer with a swift stroke, gutting it, and setting the entrails well aside. “You may speak openly to me, and I will keep your secrets.”

Legolas turned away from him, cutting into the deer’s hide and trying to get a purchase on the slippery skin so he could begin to pull it off.

"You know the tale of my lost companions-- but I have not told all." He lowered his eyes. "My lieutenant, Giledhel, survived the enemy ambush and was held captive. When we scouted the keep, we found him held prisoner there. He had been tormented and wounded; his body survived without his fëa. I gave him mercy at Mithrandir's request." He gestured with one of his long knives.

"A hard burden, but you did rightly," Haldir murmured, laying his hand on Legolas's shoulder. "For many yén I have led my brothers and our companions in our battles along the westmarch. As a commander, I have lost men. It is a great burden. Every time I send my troop into peril, I fear I may lose Rúmil and Orophin, my brothers." His hand tightened on Legolas, a firm grip, bearing him up.

"I should have gone after him the moment he was taken."

"You would have died." Haldir spoke simply. "You had the dwarf in your charge and none to support you. You could make no other choice."

"I should, perhaps, have gone and died. It was wrong for Giledhel suffer when I did not."

"Those are the words of a coward," Haldir said simply. "You cannot make amends for the enemy's evil by wishing your own death. Those who lead must accept the responsibility of command. That includes sending some to die-- and saving whatever others you may."

Legolas swallowed hard, closing his eyes against the pain in his heart. "You are right, and I know it in my heart-- though it will be long before I forget the fate of Giledhel. But his loss is not all that troubles me, Haldir."

"Then tell me all, and I hope I may help you cleanse the wound." Haldir's clear grey eyes were gentle.

“There was a wraith in Dol Guldur when we went with the wizard. It sent visions to our party.” Legolas felt great relief in daring to speak of it; the dwarf had begged him to stop, but the burden of what he had seen himself do weighed always on Legolas’s mind. It had kept him from Gimli's side as they journeyed, and he was glad to find relief and peace in the company of Haldir, who did not make him uncomfortable in the same ways Gimli did.

“What did you see?”

Legolas sighed, leaving the slimy work and staring at his bloodstained hands. “A terrible thing. Haldir….” Legolas very nearly ran his fingers through his hair in spite of the mess.

Haldir waited, seizing the deerskin, and Legolas joined him to tug at it, peeling it away from the meat. “I was born near the beginning of this age,” Legolas whispered. “But through the long years, I have found no mate. There were those who tempted me, but never did I find one to whom I could give my heart fully, without doubt or question. I have always believed such a thing was not meant to be, and I found no lack in my life without it. But then the wraith's vision changed that.”

“How could a wraith send you visions of love?” Haldir asked in bafflement.

“The wraith meant to drive a wedge of madness into my mind,” Legolas said, resigning himself to tell Haldir the truth. He ached to be shed of the burden. “In the vision it sent, I forced a friend to… commit the act of marriage… with me.” He licked his dry lips, his bloodied hands opening in a helpless gesture. “Though I have never done so before, I felt all the sensations and emotions such a thing implies, though they were in dark and terrible guise. I had not dreamed they were so..." he hesitated. "Beguiling.”

Haldir gazed at him with horror that melted into profound sympathy. “That was a terrible violation of your fëa.” His tones were gentle and forgiving, and Legolas wilted with relief at the response.

“It sent my friend same vision,” Legolas whispered. “And forced us both to feel we craved such things. Together. It has left my mind in great confusion.”

Haldir pulled the skin free from one of the deer’s legs, making a noise of satisfaction. “Feel no guilt, Legolas. The wraith’s sending was cruel, but it was untrue.”

Legolas did not answer, and in the stretching quiet, the statement almost began to sound as if it were a question.

“In part.” Legolas’s voice finally fell soft and delicate as a snowflake resting upon the silence.

That took Haldir aback; he fumbled his hold on the deer’s skin and stepped back from it, moving to re-adjust his grip. He finished dragging the skin down to the front legs before he gave up his effort.

“You still feel the illusion the wraith sent you?”

“I do not know what I feel.” Legolas whispered. “Is it possible to feel lust without love, or love without lust? Are the two emotions one? What are they, and how should they feel to me? Should they creep on me unseen and brighten suddenly like the dawn? Should they distract my mind, should they torment and scourge? Should they whisper tenderness and trust, kindness and friendship, peace and comfort? Should they come and go like clouds over the moon, or should they burn in me, leaving no rest by night or day? Should they be all of these things at once? Should I simply know in the peace of the starlight that I have found my heart for once and all, in a mortal?”

Haldir gazed at Legolas with deep concern. “I do not know; I am not married... Legolas.” He hesitated. “Prince of the Greenwood, son of Thranduil, name the friend for whom you feel these things.”

“It is no matter.” Legolas tried to smile, but failed. He helped Haldir finish removing the skin. Leaving it tumbled on the ground, they went to the river to wash.

“I would help you, if I may.”

“I do not know what I feel, whether the wraith poisons me or whether it uncovered the truth of my heart,” Legolas told him again. “I may feel one such emotion in the morning, and again I may feel another by noon. They come without warning and I believe they are real, but then they depart on a breath and I doubt them all.”

“Do you feel these things for Aragorn, for Strider?”

Legolas laughed, his heart easing in spite of his worry. “No.”

“Not for Gandalf, surely. He is not a mortal.” They smiled together at the notion, and Legolas shook his head once more.

Haldir stiffened, and Legolas could perceive his thought turning inevitably toward the correct conclusion. “I think your confused feelings no more than a lingering shade of the wraith’s poison,” Haldir said, his voice calm and reassuring. “Confess your fears to the lady. Tell her of the wraith's torment and she will put her hands upon you and sing. She will drive the evil away.”

“Doubtless you are right,” Legolas said, and found his heart eased. “I will speak to her of my burden as soon as I may.”

*****

Gimli and Galadriel went forth to hunt together, the lady carrying her bow, and strolled along the side of Anduin together so none might approach them unseen on their left flank. “We will part company with Haldir when we reach the Old Forest Road,” she said. “I think Gandalf will ask him to take Sméagol to the elves of Mirkwood so they may hold him, lest he escape and do mischief we may not predict. If he knows what I guess, if he is what I guess… we cannot allow him to be taken by others who want his knowledge.”

Gimli nodded slowly; he still had not asked Legolas whither they would go.

“You and Legolas will come with us.” She smiled. “Though perhaps you may later wish you had not. We will cross the mountains to Rivendell, and we must make our passage in the deeps of winter. It will not be a pleasant journey, but my heart tells me we have no time to wait for fair weather.”

“You think not?”

“Even now Gandalf wrings answers from Sméagol. My heart tells me….” She looked directly at Gimli and paused. “You have heard Gandalf speak of the Necromancer. You have faced a wraith. You know the power of Mordor rises.”

Gimli shivered, making the iglishmêk sign to warn against evil almost without realizing.

The lady smiled without humor. “Haldir and Legolas are not only hunting to feed Sméagol. They spend their days tanning furs so you and Strider may wear them when we climb. I would not have either of you die in the High Pass.”

She looked past Gimli, and her eyes narrowed. Swifter than thought, she lifted her bow and an arrow sang; a hare fell not far away. “We will have food for Sméagol after Gandalf questions him, at least, though he may never trust elves or men again.”

Gimli retrieved her arrow for her, gallant, and put the hare in his pouch. They rambled on, with Gimli holding out his hand for the lady to squire her across shallow streams, though he knew she only accepted the offer to humor him. She moved with light and sure feet, lithe and agile.

“When the time for council arrives in Rivendell, your questions will be answered,” she told Gimli before he could decide how to word an inquiry of his own. “I will not speak now. But I believe Sméagol is the key to a great mystery, and we will not find the answer to our liking.”

They continued on, talking of lighter matters such as friends and kin, until the sun sank low behind the mountains and they turned back. The lady put her hand on Gimli’s shoulder. He did not know who guided whom as dusk fell, but they walked slowly through the wilderness together, and neither stumbled.

“Here are Legolas and Haldir,” she murmured at length, and the two elves appeared from the gloom to greet them, Haldir stepping forth with confidence.

“Our hunting went well, my lady.” He bore a large, rough sack over his shoulder, but it did not seem heavy. Gimli judged it held pelts. He and Legolas also carried a pole between them, over which they had tied the dressed carcass of a deer, ready for roasting.

Legolas did not speak. He looked on Galadriel and Gimli standing together in the dim of evening, and a faint light glimmered in his pale eyes. Gimli frowned, half-turning, and realized it came from the lady; she glowed as if the moon was on her, but it had not risen yet.

Legolas turned his face away, toward the camp. As they went Haldir began to chant a marching song, and Galadriel joined him. Legolas did not add his voice, keeping both eyes on the ground before him and steadying the pole.

They could hear Sméagol squealing and weeping long before they reached camp. He remained noisy as they arrived, though he lay untouched upon the ground near the fire. Gandalf sat nearby, deep in thought, his eyes shadowed. Strider greeted them, curt, and tended the fire. Together, Legolas and Haldir set up a spit to roast the deer while Gimli gathered more wood to make sufficient fire for long roasting.

Galadriel went to Sméagol and set her white hand upon his head. He flinched away from her and cursed. "Cruel elveses, gollum! Leave us alone! Don't touch usss!" But his cries eased. They soon subsided to whimpers.

“The news is much as we feared,” Gandalf said gravely to her. “We must press on in haste. I think we will make the ford tomorrow.” He did not speak further, waiting in silence as the meat cooked, then ate his portion without talking further to anyone.

Little conversation arose around the fire that night, and no songs were sung. Gimli went to his tent after taking his share of the watch over Sméagol. Alone, he lay down on the cold ground and failed to sleep.

Legolas was so busy-- presumably spending time with Haldir-- he did not come to check on Gimli.

NOTES:

fëa: Spirit
yén: Elvish year, comprising 144 human years
iglishmêk: Dwarvish language of hand-signals and gestures

A comment response thread for this story can be found at http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/62310-review-replies-for-nothing-gold-can-stay-by-tafkab/ !
- 25
- 26
- 27
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Nothing Gold Can Stay