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secret Love	By : belanna Category: -Multi-Age > General Views: 2424 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
Chapter 27 Explanations
�What�s so funny?� an amused voice suddenly asked.
Without them realizing it Poppy, Minerva and Hermione had arrived.

�Oh Poppy, thank god you�re here! Sev looked at an egg of a Harpy and now he�s blind.� Remus explained to her.

�Bloody hell! I thought those creatures were extinguished or at least banned to some godforsaken Island.�

�So did I.� Severus sighed.

�There is not much I can do for you, Severus. Although if I remind correctly there does exist some kind of potion which will return your eyesight in a matter of days. But with you being allergic to some ingredients I�d better not risk it, besides your eyesight will be normal in a week anyway.�

Severus glared at her, well at least he would have if his eyes weren�t just white balls. There was just no point in telling the people who were gathered here that he was allergic to some ingredients. Stuff like that just wouldn�t do for a Potions master and he was deeply ashamed about it.

�No word from the other two teams yet?� Minerva asked.

�Oh my God!� Remus exclaimed, clapping his hands over his mouth. �I totally forgot to tell you: they have found Legolas and they are on their way over here. Harry and I just apparated back to the cabin in order to see whether team two was alright.�

�Harry apparated here? You know he still doesn�t has his license Remus!� Minerva snapped.

�Might as well tell you that Draco and Ron came here in the same fashion.� Severus told her.

�WHAT! I had expected more from you two! You are teachers after all. You should set a good example. Before you know it, they�ll think it�s alright to disobey the law. Who knows what could have happened to them?!� Minerva spoke in an angry tone of voice.

�It�s not like these kids haven�t been able to apparate for months now, besides Albus did not have any problems with it.�

�Albus� opinion does not make something right or wrong, Remus!�

�True Minerva, but my opinion can make a difference.� Dumbledore suddenly said. Yes team four, the rest of team three and Legolas had finally arrived.

�Albus!� Minerva said surprised. �I know that, but you must set an example and by letting them break the rules you are doing exactly the opposite.�

�I see this more like bending the rules. They are in their final year Minerva, besides this pair has been through so much already that I do not think that the normal rules always apply in their cases.�

Minerva sighed frustrated, but decided to drop the matter for now. She knew when she was fighting a losing battle.

�Why don�t we all go back to the castle, there will be enough time to celebrate tomorrow.� Albus suggested.
Remus approached Legolas on their way back, dragging Severus behind him. �Hey Legolas, welcome back!�

�Why thank you, Remus. It is good to be back.�

�Where have you been all this time?� Severus asked.

�Most of the time I spend unconscious. Apparently some unicorns had found me half dead in the woods and brought me back in their tribe. There they decided to better be safe then sorry and left to go to the other side of the forest where they would await the outcome of the war. After I finally became conscious and realized I was going in exactly the opposite direction of where my heart lay. I talked things over with the unicorns and together we decided that three unicorns would escort me back. And so they did.

In the beginning we could only travel for small amounts of time as I was still very weak, but us Elves recover very quickly. We could soon go in a much rapid pace. So finally after a couple of weeks you found me.� He finished taking in a deep breath. �Phoo, forgot to breath there for a minute.� He laughed.

�And what am I glad that Aragorn is still here and that you are all well. That was my worst fear, coming here to find everything destroyed or Albus telling me that there was no way I could ever get back to my world or Albus explaining to me to me that it is impossible to get back to my own world as the others were long gone. Thank Elbereth that none of this is true.�

Aragorn hugged Legolas close to him. �How could you ever believe that I would leave this world without you?�

�I do not know, if you were put for the choice to either stay here with the off chance that I was still amongst the living or go back to live your life in the world you love. I thought it would probably be a hard decision for you to make.�

�Oh Legolas I do not care where I have to spend the rest of my life as long as I can spend it with you.� Aragorn told him, caressing his face.

�Do you really mean that?� Legolas questioned him, his eyes welling up with tears.

�Of course I do, silly. Now come on.� He said, pulling Legolas up the entr�e stairs of the castle. �I think it is time to make up for all those precious moments we could have spend together the last couple of weeks.�

�I think I�d better head to the hospital wing.� Severus muttered. �Is Poppy somewhere around?�

�Yes, she is approaching us right now.�

�Okay, thank you for accompanying me back to Hogwarts, Lupin. I think I can take it from here.� Severus said in a cold voice.

Remus was really taken aback by this: �Lupin? Severus what�s wrong? I�ll gladly take you to the hospital as well.� He kissed his lover softly on his forehead. �Now let�s go, Poppy motioned us to follow her.� Remus took Severus� hand in his as they started to walk towards the hospital wing.
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�So now you have your own room, hmm?�

�Indeed I have.�

�I suppose this has some great advantages?�

�Yes, I suppose so. I think it depends on what one is planning to do.�

�Hmm and what about when a person wants to make passionate love with his lover?�

�Well yes, then it would be better if one is living on his own.�

�Legolas, Aragorn stop right there!� a third voice suddenly called out. �Where do you think you are going? Legolas has just spend a few weeks away from the castle, has been injured severely, has taken unicorn milk and you do not think it is wise to let me check him over? Tssk I thought better of you. Now let�s go!�

The duo growled in frustration, before following Poppy downstairs. �Even Severus was wise enough to report at the hospital wing.� The nurse lectured them.

�Yes I would have done that too, IF I were BLIND!� Legolas said clearly irritated.

�Now, now Legolas we are only concerned about you. I just want to return you in tiptop shape to your own world. When are you leaving by the way?�

�I have no idea. We haven�t talked about that yet. After all he has just returned.�

�True, now wait here. I�ll first examine my other patient.� She told them, while walking over to another bed. �Now Severus, if you could please lie down�. Thank you.� She waved her hand above his face a couple of times. �Wow, I have never encountered this kind of blindness before.�

�Of course you haven�t! It�s not every day a person spots an egg from a Harpy.� Severus snarled.

�Sev!� Remus warned him.

�Well, it�s true, isn�t it?� the Potions master snapped back. Lupin let out a frustrated sigh. He had no clue what so ever on how to pass Severus� recently put up walls. He really thought he had succeeded in breaking most of them down, but they seemed to be all back in place and even more solid than before.

�There�s no need to take your frustrations out on us young man. Especially not on Remus he is only trying to be there for you as do we all. Now wait here and be good, while I�ll look up the spell and potion which will quicken your healing progress.�

�It�s not like I can find my quarters anyway!� Severus grumbled.

�Sev, did something else happen in the forest?�

�No.�

�Then why are you acting like an ass?�

�I don�t know what you�re talking about, wolf?�

�If you�re trying to shut me out, than it�s not working baby.�

�I am not trying to do anything. I am just being who I am.�

�Right.�

�Maybe this thing between us, just isn�t going to work. I don�t know what I was thinking.�

�You don�t mean that!�

�Oh yes I do! I only took pity on you, that�s it. But I cannot hide my true feelings any longer. I am not in love with you wolf!� because I already love you with my entire heart, he added silently. It hurt him to say this to his newfound lover, but there was just no other way. They were getting too close. And in the end Severus would let him down in some way or even worse hurt him, mentally of course. Eventually he would see Severus for who he really was. A sad excuse for a human being, who was incapable in loving or caring for anyone. Look at what had happened to his sister. He should have taken better care of her, looked out for her. If he had, his mum would still be alive and his sister wouldn�t have run away.

�Fine have it your way, Severus Snape!� Remus sobbed. �From now on I won�t bother you any longer. I do not know what you are trying to gain from this, but shutting me out won�t help your problems go away.� With that said he stormed out of the hospital wing.

�By Elbereth Severus, was that really necessary? You could have treated him a bit nicer.� Aragorn told him.

�Oh, sod off!� Severus yelled.

Aragorn raised his eyebrows in anger and was about to say something back when Legolas shushed him. �Let him be Estel, just let him be.�

Aragorn shot Severus one more glare, before returning his attention back towards his lover.
When Poppy returned to Severus� bedside she sighed out loud once she noticed that Remus wasn�t there. �Severus, you really are a mystery to me.� She muttered.

�I heard that!�

�So?� Madam Pomfrey replied, rolling her eyes. �Now listen closely. I�ve found the recipe and it�s very easy to make. The only problem is that I don�t have Monkswood in my cabin at the moment. I was hoping you might have some in your private collection?�

�As a matter of fact I do. The only problem is that you�ll have to take me with you as I first have to lift a couple of spells before you can enter my rooms safely.�

�Can�t you just tell them to me?�

�No.�

�But��

�I said no Poppy!�

�Oh alright, but before we go, I�ll check Legolas over first.�

�Whatever.�

Poppy raised her eyebrows at his attitude, but wisely decided to make no further comments about his current behavior.

�So Legolas how are you feeling?�

�I am feeling fine now, thank you.�

�Now huh? So what have you been through the last couple of weeks, physically that is.�

�Well.. uhm first there was the spell that made me unsubstantial and when it started to wear off I hit a tree and was knocked unconscious. I believe I stayed that way for over two weeks, waking up from time to time. The first couple of days I was very weak, not able to walk for more then a half an hour in a row. This of course slowed us down. I also experienced frequent headaches, but they aren�t really bothering me anymore.� Legolas told her.

�Good, now please lie still, while I�ll check you over. Unfortunately I am not familiar with the Elven autonomy.�

�But we are, although I don�t know that much about their insides. We aren�t as advanced as you are.� Aragorn explained.

�So basically what you are trying to say is that you are of no use to me.� Poppy remarked grinning.

�Like I said, it depends on what kind of problem it is.�

�Yeah, but that IS the problem. When do I know if something is wrong with him?�

�Aah, well just check him over first.� Aragorn suggested.

Poppy quickly scanned Legolas with her wand. �I�m not sure, but what I remember from the first time I scanned him, he seems to be alright.� Poppy said smiling. �Although it is clear that he is high on whatever substation there was in the unicorn milk. But I believe that the side-effects will be gone by tomorrow.�

�Are you positive?�

�Not completely, but as I said, the scans look the same as the ones I took on our first meeting.� Poppy explained.

�See I told you I was fine.� The Elf remarked, crossing his arms in front of chest, while sitting up straight.

�Remember on our quest that you broke your ankle as you jumped of that huge Olifaunt and kept telling us that nothing was the matter.�

�But everything WAS fine.� Legolas pouted. �It really wasn�t bothering me that much.�

�Do you see what I mean? He really is incorrigible.�
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Remus sprinted back towards his room, praying he wouldn�t run into anyone, which of course was to no avail. �Remus, Remus is that you?� a voice sounded from an open classroom.

�Yes Minerva.� Remus replied, not daring to enter the classroom.

�Is something the matter?�

�No everything is just peakish.� Lupin said sarcastically, while fighting back even more tears, which threatened to fall on his already tearstained cheeks. �So if you will excuse me professor, I have some business to attend to.� He managed to say, without a sob.

Minerva stepped out of her classroom. �Oh my gosh Remus, you look horrible. Do tell me what happened.�

�I think I�d rather first straighten everything out for my self, thanks.�

�This has to do with Severus, hasn�t it?� Minerva asked softly.

This caught Remus by surprise. �Excuse me?�

�Oh come one, it�s not like that everyone with two eyes and half a brain couldn�t have figured that one out by now.�

�I.. uh..� Lupin stammered, trying to make some sense of everything that was going in the mess that was supposed to function as his mind.

�So what did he say this time?� she inquired.

�He..uhm� only pretended to love me, out of pity for me.� Remus sniffed.

�Why don�t we go to my office and I�ll explain some things about Severus to you.� She suggested, guiding him inside the abandoned classroom and to the private office next to it.

�Take a seat, would you like some tea?�

�Sure.� Remus replied, still a little confused. Hmm so everyone seemed to know about their relationship, well former relationship that is. And �till this far no one seemed to mind both them being gay and being in love with each other. This made Remus smile a little.

�What�s up with the smile?� Minerva asked

�I was just thinking about how much gay people are excepted in this world. I know for a fact that it is quite different in the Muggle world, well in some countries that is.�

�Yes, I have heard about that, but it�s not generally excepted in the wizardry world either. Even though it seems that way as gay people are allowed to marry and have children now.�

�Huhuh I know. Anyway what was it you wanted to tell me?�

�Alright, Severus will probably kill me once he finds out that I have told you about this, but I believe you deserve to know this. It will hopefully make you understand him a little bit better.

Okay, hmm where to begin. I�ll first tell you something about Parcival Snape, Severus father.

Parcival was a well know and all-round respected man. He is very skilled in persuading people in such a matter that in the end they believe they came up with the idea in the first place. This way he almost always got what he wanted and was able to keep his high reputation.

Severus� mother was a kind and warm person, whom I remember from my own Hogwart�s days. She was a beautiful, shy and very insecure Hufflepuff girl. She must have met Parcival after she graduated as he went to Durmstrang. Five years later we met again by coincidence, she then was carrying her first child, Severus� sister Alice. His mother, Anne, looked dreadful and not at all like the girl I used to know. At first I presumed that her pregnancy had tired her down, much later I learned the truth.� Minerva sighed, blaming herself for her own stupidity. If she had figured it out sooner, then maybe she could have done something to prevent it all from happening. She took a deep breath, before continuing:

�Parcival had practically brainwashed her into his perfect wife. One who would never disagree with anything he said and did as she was told. He made her totally depended of him, this way she would never even think of leaving him as she no longer could live without him. The times she DID speak her mind, Parcival would made sure that she�d think twice before she ever did it again.�

�What did he do to her?� Remus asked softly

�Beat her and threaten to hurt their children, which he also did occasionally.

Severus was also thought to keep his emotions in check. You must understand that this is very difficult for let�s say a three year old, who does not understand why he is not allowed to laugh, cry, be afraid etcetera, while all his friends are clearly displaying all these emotions in front of their parents without being punished.

His father told him that it would make him look weak and no one liked sissy�s of course. That�s why crying was especially not tolerated in the Snape manor. I remember one time in his second year, when Severus was experimenting with some kind of potion when suddenly the cauldron exploded. It must have been very painful as he had burn marks all over his face and hands, still he only grimaced. He didn�t even give a cry in pain. From then on I started to pay some more attention to him. Slowly Albus and I found out the truth.

Not all of it at once of course, the most vital information we unfortunately received too late. We knew that Severus, Alice and Anne were both mentally and physically abused by Parcival Snape. The only thing we did NOT know as well as the rest of the world, except for Severus and Alice, was that Alice had been raped several times by her dad. Every time she would go home for the holidays he would do it again.� Minerva dried the tears who had been silently falling down her cheeks. Remus took her hands in his and smiled reassuringly, silently urging her to continue.

�Just after Alice graduated, Severus was 13 by then, her mother walked in to Alice�s room and saw her husband and daughter sharing one bed. She immediately realized that Alice was forced into this and it probably hadn�t been the first time. This was too much for her and she snapped. It was not long afterwards that she killed herself and Alice ran away a day later never to be seen again.

Parcival told everyone that his wife had been depressed for ages and that in her last days she even got violent towards him and their kids.�

�Oh my god.� Remus gasped. �So Severus still had to live with the man?�

�Unfortunately yes, when Severus got back to school after the summer we immediately realized that Parcival had lied. Severus was quieter than before, never spoke a word unless a teacher asked him something. He also was a mess both from the in- and outside. He was pale as a ghost, with dark circles around his eyes indicating a lack of sleep. He also cut himself, mostly in his arms, but you can still find some nasty scars on his belly.�

�Oh yes, yes I vaguely remember that year. I remember me approaching him to ask him if was alright. He didn�t say a word and only stared at me blankly. I don�t think he had the spirit to sneer at me or even make a foul remark. But was there nothing you could do? Did you not talk to him?�

�We of course tried to talk to him, ask him if there was anything he wanted to tell us. Of course his mother had died, which is a great shock to every son or daughter, but his sister had also mysteriously disappeared. Every time we acquired after his father he would only reply with single words, not sentences, and he seemingly had a hard time to keep his ever remaining blank mask.

After a year his sister found out that Severus was still living with their father. So she decided to go to the Ministry of Magic to put him in. At first they didn�t believe her, but as clever as she is, she was in Ravenclaw you know, she had bought a Muggle video camera and had taped her and her father a couple of times. The ministers were of course very skeptical about the evidence as they believed it could have been tempered with. Thankfully Severus� mother, Anne, had also written a farewell letter, which Alice had kept hidden all this time. In the letter Anne apologized for being such a bad mother and for all the horrible things they had to go through. This was why she couldn�t live with herself any longer. It also clearly stated that Parcival had at least raped Alice once as she described her thoughts of when she entered her daughter�s room that one particular evening. Severus too had to state at the court, but he was too terrified and upset to make much sense. Although in the end he did tell them that his father had raped his sister several times.

As Parcival had of course many connection he was only sentenced to Azkaban for 5 years. After he had done his time, he was released and no one has ever heard of him again.

Alice ran away again and her whereabouts are still unknown.�

Remus was silent for a minute, trying to order all the information he had just gotten into his mind. �Holy shit, so Severus had to live with the man for an entire year even though he knew of all the things he had done.�

�Yes although he was at Hogwarts most of the time of course. But he did go home every holiday. Sadly we couldn�t do anything about the situation as we didn�t have any proof of what might have happened, plus we only had speculations as we didn�t know exactly what had happened until after Alice came back, because Severus wasn�t talking.

Anyway until his 18th birthday he was under the guardian of his father�s sister, because he had nowhere else to go. I don�t know how she treated him, but I don�t think very good. He namely had to stay at Hogwarts from then on. Only in the summer holiday, when they had no other choice, was he allowed to go home.�

�Oh poor baby.� Remus whispered, with tears in his eyes. He felt a huge urge to sprint out of the room and give Severus a massive hug, fortunately he was able to suppress it.

�I hope you understand now, why he acts the way he does. He has never learned to express his true feelings and emotions. He is afraid to love anyone in fear of getting hurt once more or hurt the person he cares about. He probably also reasons that he has survived on his own for so long that he doesn�t need anyone.� McGonagall looked at Remus with her piercing blue eyes. �Still do not pity him, or even tell him you feel sorry. That�s the last thing he needs to hear from you. Treat him the same way you always did, just show a little more patience and understanding at some occasions.�

�Thank you very much Minerva for telling all this to me. I�ll sure put in mind everything you have told me.�

�I�m glad I could be of help now shoo, get some sleep and figure out a way to get him back.�

�I will, I will.� Remus smiled as a plan started to form in his mind.
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secret Love