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Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home	By : IdrilsSecret Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 4869 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. I make no money in the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
Chapter 27 A Father’s Mistakes

It must have been later than I thought. The sun was rising, but I still had a little way to go before I crossed the borders into Lothlórien. I thought I’d be back by now, much earlier than what Legolas wrote in the message he forged. As long as I was back sooner than that, I would be satisfied. I knew Raenor would be suspicious of my whereabouts, and the longer I was gone, the more speculation he would throw at me. By coming home much sooner than was expected, I thought it would put some of that suspicion at ease. Raenor would never think that I’d leave Mirkwood so soon if Legolas was still there. Rumor had it that the Prince had already left for Gondor. I was the only Lórien elf who knew that not to be true. Covering my tracks was turning out to be a lot of work, but this is how I would need to think from now on. I’d always need to stay a few steps ahead of Raenor. That would be easier to accomplish while Legolas was away and temptation was leagues away, but what would we do when he returned? That’s what I had to figure out.

Finally, the border was just ahead. I could feel the magic of the Lady’s protection in the air, like a static charge when the atmosphere was dry. I was home and a part of me was glad. A bigger part of me was dreading what waited for me in the city. I spurred my horse onward … no use putting off the inevitable. That’s when something to my right caught my eye. I turned and there was Raenor, standing in a clearing, watching me. I slowed my horse and hung my head. I could tell by the crease in his brows that he knew something or at least suspected it. Shit, I cursed under my breath as I leapt down from my horse and walked toward him.

“Raenor! Awfully far out for a walk, wouldn’t you say?” I tried to approach him non-threateningly.

“Back so soon?” he returned.

“Yes … well … I finished my business ahead of time.”

“And how is the woodland king?” he asked.

“Just as stubborn as always.”

“And the Prince?” He was fishing for information.

“The Prince was not there.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. When I was in the palace, I didn’t know Legolas was hiding.

“Are you sure about that?” Raenor’s tone was becoming accusatory. He knew something all right.

“Do you really think, with what you hold over me, that I would meet with him and put my reputation at risk?”

“I know you would, especially after I found out that you were sending correspondence to him even when I warned you not to make contact,” he said in a dark tone.

“You saw the letter I wrote … the one you forced me to write. The Prince must hate me by now. Besides, he’d already left for Gondor before I arrived,” I explained as calm as possible. Raenor was judging everything I did or said at the moment.

“That’s not what I heard,” he said, and a slight smile curled the corner of his mouth. He definitely knew something.

“Why do you presume to know everything?” I said with ire.

“I have eyes and ears everywhere, and I heard that Legolas has not yet left Mirkwood.”

“Well, if he was there, I didn’t know about it. I stood before the king, and only the king and–”

“Then how do you explain your arrival well in advance of the delivery? You left Lothlórien a day before everyone else. Weren’t you supposed to escort it, make sure it arrived safely?”

I was running out of options. Apparently, Raenor’s sight reached much further than I originally thought. He really did have spies out. Why? Why was he being like this? Why couldn’t he just leave me and my family alone? “It seems that it doesn’t matter what I say. You are going to draw your own conclusions. You’ll never believe a word I–”

I was interrupted by the sound of my horse whickering and annoyed by something. Both Raenor and I dropped our conversation and reached for our bows. Our first instinct was to prepare for anything to happen. The horse began stomping and turning in circles. Danger was near.

Raenor and I, though not close, stood with our backs to each other so that we had eyes on our entire surroundings. “Do you see anything?” he asked.

“No, but there is something close. The trees are restless and uneasy,” I answered. I could hear them speaking to each other, worried for our safety.

“The trees?” Raenor said with confusion. He didn’t know about my ability.

“Just keep your eyes trained before you. Whatever is out there, it’s moving closer.” I suddenly heard a low growl and turned toward where it emanated from. “Over there,” I whispered to Raenor.

My horse rose up, her legs flailing at the threat. Out of the trees burst a massive creature, one that hadn’t been seen within our borders in an age … a warg.

It snarled and prowled closer to my horse, but she wouldn’t run away. Then I remembered Haldir telling me once how she was trained to stay in the same vicinity as her rider. She would not leave unless I told her to. “Belan! Drego!” I yelled, telling her to flee. She escaped just as the warg lunged. Now it turned to us, its new prey.

“Not sure that was such a good idea,” Raenor said beside me.

“I’d rather face the warg instead of my brother’s wrath once he learned that I let his horse perish,” I said as a jest, but this wasn’t the time for humor.

Its yellow eyes glowed from across the clearing in which we stood. A nasty beast, it smelled like rot and decay. It was as big as one of the Beornings in bear form. It had a coarse brownish grey coat, and a mane of stiff, thick hair like bristles, but long and thick, which grew from its neck to between its shoulders. It had long powerful legs, able to leap from a great distance or run quickly over any terrain. The head was quite large, and the mouth, full of sharp teeth and fangs, was wide and dangerous. Saliva dripped from its mouth, anticipating the taste of our flesh. From what I could tell, it was a female, bigger and more aggressive than the males. I started to question my choice to take on this horrid beast, but it was too late to change now. She had us in her sights.

“The only way out of this is to work together,” I said to Raenor, just in case he had other ideas. He nodded, and I had to trust he was with me. “We need to separate. No use having it lunge at both of us.”

“I’ll go right,” Raenor said.

I went to the left, and we both watched the creature as she turned her head one way and then the other, watching us to see which way we would go. I could see she was deciding which one of us would be the easier prey. Suddenly, she settled for Raenor and began her slow prowl, stalking him. This gave me the opportunity to move to a better vantage point where I could get a good shot with my arrows. I knew the warg’s hide was quite tough. As a matter of fact, there was a large arrow protruding from her mane near her shoulders. Probably left over from the war, it had lodged in the beasts flesh and blended in with the coarse hair. My best opportunity to take her down was a hit to the temple. That was the most vulnerable place, besides her underbelly, but there was no hope of flipping the creature.

“Any time now,” Raenor called to me. He had been backing up, keeping a sharp eye on the warg as she moved closer.

“I don’t have a clear shot,” I called back.

“Do you not see how large this beast is?” Raenor complained.

“We have to hit her in the head, preferably the temple. It will take her down quickly. Otherwise, we’ll just anger her.”

“I’m afraid she’s already angry … and hungry.” Raenor lifted his bow. “If you won’t then I will.”

“Raenor! Wait!” I yelled, but he fired his arrow. It deflected off her thick skull, nicking one of her ears. The warg charged him. Now it was my turn. “Hey!” I screamed and loosed my arrow. It hit her in the hind leg. I could see only half of the arrow head punctured her, but it was enough to take her attention away from Raenor. The warg stopped and swung around. Her yellow eyes locked onto me, and she came running across the clearing. “Shit,” I said to myself as I took off at a run.

My best option would have been to climb a tree, but the trees here were devoid of low branches, and their trunks were wide and smooth. However, I spotted a large boulder that I could at least get behind until Raenor could get over to help me. I hoped that’s what he was doing. “Raenor!” I called without looking back. I reached the boulder just as I heard the thump of the beast crashing into the solid surface. Then I heard Raenor curse in elvish, the thwack of his bowstrings, and the dull thud of an arrow hitting its target. The warg roared after being hit a second time. Her claws made a horrible scraping sound as she turned and pushed from the boulder. I left my hiding spot and saw her heading toward Raenor, then took my second shot and impaled the creature’s hind thigh. She stopped and turned her head back and forth, watching me and Raenor.

“We can’t keep doing this or we’ll run out of arrows. The hide is too thick,” I said to him.

“We’ll have to run her through with a sword,” Raenor said. I agreed that it might be the only way, but it was dangerous.

This wasn’t the first time I’d fought with a warg, but it was the biggest one I’d ever come up against, and there had always been more elves around me than only one. It would take both of us and our swords to accomplish this, and I believed we could do it, but a small part of me didn’t trust Raenor to follow through. Yes, he wanted to see me destroyed, and with what he held against me it would be very easy to do. But I knew he liked to play with his catch before killing it, which was why he decided to blackmail me instead of taking his evidence directly to the Lord and Lady. I didn’t think he was ready to give that up yet, and so I had faith that he wouldn’t let the warg devour me. So, I decided to take the initiative, and made the first move.

“Hey! Over here!” I yelled, waving my arms. “That’s right! Come this way!”

The warg turned her full attention on me and padded across the clearing. I ran for the boulder, hoping it would give me a few moments to allow Raenor to approach. I could hear her panting and snarling, her large feet pounding the ground as she came closer. I ran quicker than I ever had in order to reach the boulder in time. The warg wouldn’t need to catch up to me to overtake me. All she needed to do was leap forward and she would be on top of me. “Raenor!” I yelled, hoping he was already on his way across the clearing. The last few feet, I slid on the ground, grabbed the boulder, and flung myself around behind it. At the same time, I released my sword from my side and brought it up, hoping to impale the beast. In my mind, she was right behind me ready to leap. I was on my back, sword raised, and looked up. The boulder rose above me. Any second, a giant warg head would appear, fangs dripping with saliva, snarling, growling, snapping. I would stab her to injure her, and Raenor would come up from behind to deliver the final blow. Like I said, this was what played out in my mind. What I saw was nothing but the forest canopy above me. What I heard made my heart pound.

Raenor cried out for help. I could tell he was still in the glade, nowhere close to the boulder I hid behind. I scrambled to my feet and peeked around the boulder. Shit! The warg abandoned her chase for an easier target, Raenor. She had him on the ground on his back. Raenor had his sword, but he was using it to block the warg’s teeth. He didn’t have a clear shot to impale her.

As I watched, I stepped out from behind the boulder and judged the best way to approach this. Raenor was fending her off for now. I could just run up from behind and stab her between the ribs to her heart. Was my blade sharp enough? Wargs had a tough hide. It wouldn’t work. I would have to approach and take up the fight, allowing Raenor enough time to get to his feet. Then, the two of us would have to battle at close range with the beast. Hopefully, one of us would get her in a vulnerable position, and the other would finish the job.

Raenor managed to slice the side of the warg’s face. She retracted long enough for him scramble backwards and get a little distance. He was trying to get to his feet, but the warg recovered and went after him again. “Rúmil!” he called desperately.

Something about the way he called out to me made me hesitate. Some dark place within me tried to become the voice of reason. Not since the enemy’s weapon passed through Lothlórien had I felt such hate. The voice spoke out to me.

“This is your chance to be rid of your problem. As long as Raenor holds you in his grip, he will never let you have your life back. He knows your deepest secret, and he will use it against you for as long as you dwell in these lands. You can end it. Let the warg have its prey. No one will ever know. Make up a story. By the time you arrived, it was too late. No more blackmail. You and Legolas can be together once more without worry. Your career as March warden will go on uninterrupted. You’ll have your freedom once more. Don’t go to him. Let the warg do what it does best.”

Raenor cried out again, and I saw the warg’s enormous paw swipe at his face. Her claw caught his cheek, and a long red wound appeared. “Rúmil!” he called out again, but his voice was weaker. His strength was diminishing. He wouldn’t be able to hold her off much longer. It would be so easy to let this scene play out. I could live with this, I thought to myself. After all the shit Raenor put me and my family through, after what his father put my father through, this could end it all. And then I remembered Haldir telling me about our father. He’d been in a similar situation, blackmailed by Raenor’s father, held too long beneath the thumb of a wicked man. He chose not to do anything. His problem went away, and he continued to be March warden. Haldir’s secret remained as such. Our family name was not tarnished. But there was one thing wrong with following this path. The guilt would follow my father for the rest of his days. It eventually became too much to bear and he sailed. He thought it would end all suffering and make the path for me and my brothers an easier one. However, what he did only prolonged the feud between our family and Raenor’s. The jealousy, the hate, it passed itself down to the next generation, and here we were, history repeating once again. This was not the way. If I played out the same scenario as my father before me, I would end up like him, guilt-ridden, remorseful, unhappy with my selfishness. I could never rest peacefully, not even with Legolas by my side, for I would always know what I did … what I didn’t do. No. I wouldn’t make the same mistake.

Raenor’s cries brought me out of my daze. The warg swiped its paw at him again, knocking his sword away. He was weaponless, vulnerable, and about to face his death. The warg knew she had the advantage. There was little time. I dashed across the glade, sword raised for an attack. I could see the warg’s jaw open, yellow teeth ready to taste its prey. Her head came back, and she was about to spring forward and take Raenor’s head, but I was upon her and ran my sword through her inner thigh where the flesh was soft. The warg roared, surprised by my attack. As she abandoned Raenor and spun around, my sword’s hilt slipped from my hands, and remained in her leg. Now she was focused on me.

I didn’t know how badly Raenor was injured, but I yelled at him to get away. My only thought was to reach the boulder again and give myself enough time to get my bow and arrow ready to fire. The warg was too close to attack it in such a way. I needed to put some distance between us, and took off at a run. The warg was behind me, but she wasn’t as fast as she had been, not with my sword embedded in her leg. The boulder wasn’t far. I made it just in time. The warg stopped and watched to see what my next move would be. Meanwhile, I readied my bow. Arrow in place, I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths. Then I sprang to my feet and jumped out into plain view. The warg was right there, almost too close to use my bow. However, there was just enough distance between us that not only could I take my shot, but it would hopefully guarantee a solid hit. I thought about where I would take my shot, in the head near the temple. It would bring her right down. She stared at me with wild eyes, yellow and soulless.

“Come on you lousy piece of shit,” I murmured. Then yelling, I said, “Hurry up. You want me? Come get me.”

She crouched down, ready to spring forward onto me, trap me, snap my neck, and carry me away to her den where she would leave me, waiting for my body to decompose. Then she would have her meal. Finally, she leapt forward. Her mouth opened in a roar, legs outstretched, claws exposed. I focused on her mouth, brought my bowstring back, and released my arrow. It flew straight and true, entering her through her open mouth and embedding itself at the back of her throat. Instantly, the warg stopped her pursuit. She looked shocked at first, but eventually brought her giant foot up to a swipe at the arrow sticking out of her mouth. She tried but didn’t succeed. Her strength was diminishing and she wavered, stumbling around in an erratic pattern. Meanwhile, I nocked another arrow in case she decided to lunge at me again. The warg fell to its knees, and struggled to get back up again. And then she gave up. The great beast laid down on her side and gave up. I could see her sides still moving, struggling for every last breath. I almost felt sorry to her … almost. Carefully, I walked around her body, found my sword and pulled it from her leg. She lifted her head, giving a strangled growl, and collapsed once more.

I didn’t like to see any creature suffer, even one like this. The warg would have held no pity for me as she devoured my flesh, but I wasn’t without a soul. I went to her side, rested the tip of my sword between her ribs, and pushed down quickly until she moved no more. I looked at her for a moment, and wondered if these wolf-like creatures might have been different had they not been influenced by Sauron’s black heart.

When I was finished putting the beast out of her misery, I turned my attention back to Raenor. He was still on the opposite side of the clearing, laying on the ground. I feared I’d waited too long to lead the warg away from him. I didn’t want to make the same mistake my father did, but while contemplating my choices, I might have done just that. I left the warg and ran to him.

“Raenor,” I called as I approached. Thank the gods, I could see his chest heaving. He was still alive. I crouched down beside him and observed the wounds that were most clearly visible. The worst was the long cut down the side of his face. It started at the outer corner of his eye and trailed down his cheek. Part of it was deep and would need stitches, something that couldn’t be taken care of now.

“Where else are you hurt?” I asked.

Raenor started to sit up and winced in extreme pain. “My side,” he said though gritted teeth. He gestured with a tilt of his head to the opposite side of where I was.

I stood and moved around. That’s when I saw the blood soaking into the ground. “Can you turn on your side?” I asked and he did, but growling in pain.

His tunic was torn, and there was a lot of blood. I could feel panic set in as I prepared to lift his clothing. I was wrong about the cut on his face being the worst. It was his side. There were two puncture wounds, probably made by the warg’s fangs. They were deep, but the area they were in was what worried me. He could very well have internal damage.

“What’s it look like?” Raenor asked.

“Merely a scratch,” I said so as not to throw him into shock.

“Liar,” he grumbled.

“We have to get you to the healers. Can you ride?” I said as I looked around the area for my horse, who had run off when the warg appeared. I knew she wouldn’t have gone far.

Raenor tried to sit up again, but he collapsed. This wasn’t good. If he couldn’t stand then I couldn’t get him onto my horse, and he surely couldn’t walk back to the city. I would have to leave him and bring help back here.

“What was a warg doing in the Lady’s realm?” Raenor complained. “Her power should have deflected its urge to cross onto our lands.”

“I don’t know why it was here,” I said, completely dumbfounded. “Unless the Lady’s power is waning.” I stood and whistled. A few moments later, my horse came charging from the tree line. She was still nervous about the warg, even though it was dead. I spoke soothingly and rubbed her neck to calm her. Then I looked back at Raenor. “I have to go get help.”

I could tell by his angry expression that he didn’t like that idea. However, it was our only option. There was no way to get him onto my horse. “How do I know you will not leave me here to die?”

His question made me wince internally. It was as though he knew I hesitated earlier. I felt my guilt set in. Was it my fault he was critically injured? If I hadn’t stopped to weigh my options, could I have kept the warg from hurting him? I shook myself clear. “Why would you ask that?” I said, keeping my eyes turned away from him.

“I think you know why,” he answered.

I was beginning to wonder if he saw me hanging back as he was attacked. And then I wondered if he knew the truth about our fathers, about my father not helping his in a time of need, letting him perish. “Plainly, you do not know me if you think I would do such a thing.”

“If the situation was reversed–” Raenor started, but I interrupted.

“You would not either. We may not like each other, but we wouldn’t let another elf suffer. It is the way of our people,” I said sternly. “The more we talk about this, the longer it will take to bring help. I must go now.” I went back to Raenor and kneeled beside him. “You have two deep puncture wounds in your side. I will wrap them and put as much pressure on them as possible to slow the bleeding. I’ll ride like a bandit, get the healers and return as fast as I possibly can. It’s our only option.”

“Do you think by doing this I will forget about what I hold over you?” Raenor asked.

“No,” I said tersely. “I don’t think you’ll ever stop blackmailing me. I think you take joy in turning my life upside down. But I’ve come to realize that some things are more important than others, and despite what you think or how you see me, I cannot change who I am or who I love. So, once you are recovered . . .” I paused. I was about to make a decision that I’d been struggling with for most of my life. I knew I couldn’t have everything I wanted. I couldn’t be a soldier and continue a relationship with Legolas. I couldn’t ask Legolas to play along with my game. He was too important to me. I’d been a soldier for many centuries, but I’d only recently found real love. It was time to move on and follow my heart.

“I … I will resign from my position as March warden, and then I will resign from our army. All I ask is that in return for helping save your life, which you know I hold in the palm of my hands, you will not tell a soul what you know about me. Let me go without controversy, and allow my brothers and our family name to remain untarnished.” I used Raenor’s fear to blackmail him. If he thought I would leave him here to bleed out, maybe I could barter with him to assure him I would not abandon him.

Raenor’s eyes narrowed. He knew I had turned the situation around on him. I could tell he thought I might actually leave him behind. What he didn’t know was that I had already struggled with that scenario moments ago, and I’d come to the only decision that would allow me the knowledge of knowing I did everything possible to help.

“Fine,” Raenor eventually agreed.

“I’m glad you agree,” I said.

“You haven’t given me much of a choice,” he growled.

“Well then, now you know how I feel.” I could get used to this, having the advantage, that is. “All right, let’s see if we can move you over by those trees so you’re not out in the center of the clearing,” I said, and we somehow managed to move him. Raenor suggested using his cloak as bandages. I ripped the bottom off, making a long wrap, and tied it around his waist. I made sure Raenor had his weapons close, and I gave him a few extra arrows from my own quiver. Once he was all set and as protected as he could be, I mounted my horse and I was off to the city.

>>------->

When I arrived, I headed straight for the healers. They worked quickly, got the supplies they needed and a cart to transport Raenor back to the city. I decided not to go with them, but gave them directions to his whereabouts. It would not be difficult to find him. Instead, I thought it best to report to the Lord and Lady about the warg. On my way there, I struggled with whether or not to say something about my resignation. In the end, I decided to tell my brothers first. It was only fair to tell family beforehand.

The Lord and Lady’s meeting hall was high up within the city of Caras Galadhon. The stairs that wrapped around the bole of the mallorn tree that led to their home was lit with lanterns that never burned out. They were kept lit by the Lady’s magic. A lot of things within Lothlórien thrived because of her, even the very trees themselves. I had only been up this way a handful of times during my soldiering career, but I remembered how bright the lights were, and today they seemed a bit dim. Usually, the light was white, but not so bright as to blind you. Today, there was a yellowish glow about them. A set of guards escorted me up the stairs. I thought to ask if they noticed the difference, but centuries such as these did not speak to anyone while on duty.

Once we reached the meeting hall, I was left on the platform outside of the hall. Steps led to the building where two white wooden doors remained closed until the Lord or Lady emerged from them. Beyond the hall was their private home, a place most thought as sacred. It was very tranquil this high up within Caras Galadhon. Everything else was half way down, and the sound of the busy city did not reach this far. I did, however, hear water trickling, as if a fountain ran somewhere close. I imagined magic kept it running like the other mystical things found in Lothlórien.

After a few long moments, one of the guards that escorted me, walked from his station to the grand white doors. He took one by the handle and waited until just the right moment. When he opened it, Lord Celeborn walked out without slowing. The door opened just in time, like a well-rehearsed maneuver. Lord Celeborn was dressed in white robes that hung to the floor. A silver braided rope cinched his waist. His platinum hair was long and straight, the color of spiders silk. He was a very ancient elf indeed. You could tell by the amount of worry that sat on his brow that he’d seen quite a lot in his lifetime. I imagined he had been a fierce warrior in his youth. He must have been a sight to see, especially if he ever fought alongside the legendary Lord Glorfindel.

He went to the edge of the steps and looked down to where I waited. He did not smile, but nodded in my direction. “Come, join me March warden, and tell me what news you bring.”

“Yes, my lord,” I said, bowing with my hand over my heart. I stood straight and climbed the steps. As I reached the top, he gestured with an upturned palm to enter through the door where he’d just come from.

I had never been inside the meeting hall. The furthest I’d ever been was the platform where I waited. Part of my training, as I made my way up the ranks, was to be a century, such as the ones who escorted me here. Once inside, I noticed that this was more of a library than a hall. There were groups of chairs gathered and arranged in particular areas for meetings. Bookshelves lined three of the four walls. Most held books or ledgers, but some had figurines or jeweled boxes. There were large crystals of different colors, and silver bowls for decoration only. I wondered if any were used in ceremonies, but of what kind I did not know. I was sure these were items the Lord and Lady had collected over the millennium, and that they were of personal importance to them alone.

There was a hearth on the wall to the right, between the shelves on either side. Tables were scattered here and there, some for sitting areas, and one was long and lined with wooden chairs for larger meetings. Straight across from where I stood was another set of white doors, but I had no idea where it led to. It was a large room with a high ceiling, well lit by lanterns like the ones used to light the stairway. These burned white, how I thought they should have looked.

Lord Celeborn gestured to the hearth were there were two white wood chairs and a small matching table between them. The chairs were situated before the fireplace, a meeting area for only one or two elves. I went to a chair, but I didn’t take a seat. I waited for Lord Celeborn, but he gestured for me to sit first. It seemed like a more casual meeting, since it was just the two of us.

“Now, what brings you here?” he asked me as he sat across from me and draped one leg over the other. His robe fell to either side of his knee, revealing silver thread leggings embroidered with white leaf detail. His boots matched his leggings in color. Very royal attire, I thought to myself.

“My lord, I was out near the borders, returning from Mirkwood after escorting a delivery to King Thranduil, when I came upon March warden Raenor. I stopped to speak with him when we were assailed upon by a warg.”

“Was anyone hurt?” he asked first.

I nodded. “I’m afraid March warden Raenor suffered lacerations from the beast. We both fought the creature, and eventually it was killed. However, Raenor came away with serious injuries to the waist, puncture wounds from the warg’s bite.”

“Oh dear,” he said with real concern. “What is your opinion of his situation?”

“He was awake and conscious, and not very happy to be left behind. I rode to the city as fast as possible and sent healers to treat him and bring him back. I think he will be all right, but we won’t know for sure until he arrives home. However, my concern right now is more about the warg. It was within our borders, and I can’t remember ever knowing of one coming within Lothlórien. The Lady Galadriel’s magic should have turned it away. I am concern about this, and I knew you needed to know also.”

Lord Celeborn remained silent and in deep thought for a moment or two. I was waiting for him to thank me for the information and lead me back to the main doors so he could be alone to think about the situation, but he just sat there. Eventually, he stood from his chair. I did as well, and waited for my orders.

“You’re right, Rúmil, the Lady’s magic should have driven it away,” he said. His voice had lost its stern edge.

“Has … something happened?” I asked after another long pause of silence.

Eventually, Lord Celeborn seemed to shake himself from his trance. He looked at me once more, brows creasing to their usual position. “Nothing too concerning. I will speak with the Lady about this. In the meantime, we should place guards further out toward the borders for added security. And tell the healing house to send word to me as soon as Raenor arrives.”

“Yes my lord,” I bowed, and turned to carry out my duties right away. The century at the door opened it for me and I left, hurrying down the stairs.

I made my way to the healing house and gave them Lord Celeborn’s message. And then I went to my office and called for a meeting with the other March wardens and a few of the Captains. I had my assistant go to Haldir’s home and retrieve him. I knew he would want to be there too. I had a moment to gather myself before everyone started filing in. I sat in my chair and looked around at my office, thinking about what I told Raenor. I was leaving the army. I made the deal, and there was no way to back out of it now, unless Raenor did not survive his injuries. I did not wish that, of course.

It’s funny. After all these years of hiding and protecting my secret, I suddenly felt free. I thought leaving would be disastrous. I thought I would regret it, and wish I’d never made such a decision. Maybe I thought I’d never know what to do with myself, since soldiering had been a huge part of my life and who I was … who I am. When I thought I should be feeling horrible about this decision, I was actually feeling like a whole new world was about to open up to me. I didn’t have to worry about my brothers or their reputation. I would leave the army, and I’d think up a legitimate reason why I was doing so. I was feeling elated, and I hadn’t even made my announcement yet.

Of course, I was still tied to this place, at least for my brother’s sake. I had no plan to leave Haldir in Orophin’s care, even though my paralyzed brother was getting along much better on his own now. He still needed help from time to time, and I thought I would be there for him as long as he needed me. I could also go to Mirkwood whenever I wanted to, and stay as long as I could or as long as Legolas would have me. No more sneaking off or devising stories to cover my whereabouts. I would have a freedom I’d never known before, and for the first time in my life I felt I could take a deep breath and relax.

There was a knock on my office door and those I called upon filed inside. Orophin was there, as well as Haldir. I got the meeting underway and explained what Lord Celeborn wished to be done about added security at the borders. Half an hour later, the meeting was adjourned, and everyone began to leave. One captain stayed behind, Gúdir, Raenor’s brother. Orophin and Haldir saw him and they lingered at the rear of my office. My brothers had always protected me, even now, and they understood that Gúdir might try to cause a scene knowing that I was with Raenor when he was injured.

Gúdir peered over his shoulder, seeing my brothers hovering close by, but he did not address them. “March warden Rúmil, I wish to speak with you in private.”

“Whatever you have to discuss with me, you can do with my brothers here too.” I told him sternly.

“I’ve not come here to cause alarm. I simply wish to know about my brother. I received word that he’s been injured, and I’m sure you can elaborate on that, since you were there,” Gúdir said calmly.

“He received lacerations to the face, possibly the upper arms, but it is the bite wound on his side that caused me to leave and find help. The punctures were deep, but I slowed the bleeding. The healers should not take long to reach him and administer medical attention.”

“Will he be all right?” Gúdir asked softly, no longer a captain, but a concerned brother.

“I feel he will be. I hope you understand that I would have brought him back if I could have, but he could not ride, and we both came to the conclusion that I should ride ahead and send help.”

Gúdir nodded without lifting his eyes. He didn’t seem entirely convinced about Raenor’s condition. I stood from my desk and circled around to where he stood. I, too, knew what it felt like to fret over an injured brother. I clasped Gúdir’s shoulder. “Raenor will be fine. I am sure of this. He was in pain, but his spirits were high. He’ll be home before too long.” I leaned into his ear. “If I thought any differently, I never would have left him behind.”

“I know,” Gúdir whispered and nodded again. “Thank you.” He started to leave my office, but stopped in the threshold, and turned back to me. I could see Orophin take a step forward, and Haldir wheeled closer too. But Gúdir was not here to start trouble. “I know our families have not gotten along well, but I want you to know that I never really approved of the way Raenor behaved towards any of you. I can’t say I’ve ever understood the feud between us. However, he is my brother, and like the three of you know, family supports one another. Raenor will do whatever it is he’s going to do, but you have my word that I will not be a part of it. As far as I’m concerned, I have no ill feelings toward any of you.”

I think the three of us were dumbfounded by his confession. It was the last thing I expected to hear, and we silently watched as Gúdir left my office. Eventually, Orophin went to the door and closed it. He stood there, still trying to figure out what just happened.

“Well,” Haldir said to break the silence. He shook his head. “I have no words.”

“I’d rather it was Raenor than Gúdir,” Orophin said.

“Yes, but perhaps if Raenor knows he doesn’t have his brother’s support,” I started to say.

“I don’t think that will make a difference,” Orophin interrupted me, and of course he was right.

Haldir moved his chair over to where I stood and grasped my arm. “I’m glad you are all right.”

I smiled and clasped my hand over his. “You know, there was a moment, when we were fighting the warg, and I had an … opportunity.”

Haldir’s expression turned to concern. “An opportunity for what?” he asked, but I think he knew where I was going with this.

Orophin approached me next, a scowl on his face. “You know how Father’s decision affected him,” he scolded.

“And that’s why I didn’t act upon my tendencies,” I said. “But I think I understand why he did what he did. He was protecting all of us.” I paused and walked to the other side of the room. “There was a moment when the warg had Raenor pinned. He didn’t see me, didn’t know where my position was during the fight. For all he knew, I’d been injured. And for a single moment in time, I thought about staying put and letting the warg . . .” I didn’t want to finish that sentence. I felt horrible knowing I ever contemplated such a thing. “I thought about doing it so that Raenor couldn’t hurt any of us, or threaten us again, so that I could live peacefully and not have to worry about either of you getting caught up in my own troubles. But as you said, Orophin, I remembered how much our father changed after Raenor and Gúdir’s father perished. I knew the weight of my own guilt would drive me to do as our father did, and I realized that I didn’t want that hanging over me. I also realized that–” Here I was at the threshold of my new future, and the first step was telling my brothers the truth. I took a deep breath and continued. “I … I’ve realized that as much as I love what I do, my soldiering career and being March warden, perhaps it is time for me to follow a different path.”

“What are you talking about?” Orophin asked. He looked worried. Haldir, on the other hand seemed relieved by what I was about to say.

“He’s quitting the army,” Haldir said with a glimmer in his eye. He knew exactly what I was saying. I simply nodded.

“Why?” Orophin said, ire in his voice. “What would make you come to such a rash decision?”

I shrugged and smiled innocently. “Love.”

“What of Raenor?” Haldir asked. “Won’t he be getting his way?”

“He was already getting his way, and making my life miserable.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. “I … can’t do this anymore.”

“What’s he done?” Orophin asked, and I forgot that he didn’t know about the blackmailing. I turned to my middle brother to explain.

“A while back, Legolas wrote me a letter, a very personal and intimate letter. I was careless. Raenor found it and threatened me. He tried to ruin the things that mattered the most in my life, and held me in a position of subservience. In the process, I discovered that what Legolas and I have reaches far beyond anything I could have imagined, and that’s something I cannot treat lightly.”

“So, you’re giving in to his threats,” Orophin said. “You’re quitting just as he wants you to do.”

“No, I’m leaving because I want to. I came to an agreement with Raenor. I will leave the army, and he will forget all about that letter. He will let me leave in peace, and he won’t bother you or Haldir anymore either.”

“You … came to an agreement?” Orophin questioned.

“Well,” I started, wrapping my hand around the back of my neck as I looked to the ground. “I … saw an opportunity to negotiate so I took it.”

Haldir gave a slight chuckle, but Orophin was not finding any humor at the moment. I could see his genuine concern. Actually, I saw a glimpse of my father within his eyes, the sternness that had kept me and my brothers in line as we grew and matured. I was the youngest of us, and the last to come into my own, but what I wanted for my future was far from anything my father would have wanted. The same could be said about Orophin as his eyes narrowed on me.

“This is ridiculous, Rú,” he said, using my nickname as a means to soften his tone. The anger and confusion was still there. “You are willing to throw centuries of practice and hard work away, all for a … a … another elf?”

“Legolas is not just another elf,” I said with ire. “He is my one true chance at happiness.”

“I thought being a soldier made you happy.”

“It did. It does,” I corrected myself. “But it doesn’t fill my soul.” I calmed so that I could explain. “Imagine finding someone you want to spend the rest of your days with, someone you love so deeply that it fills your heart to the brim. You’d want to spend as much time with them as you could, of course. Now, imagine having to cap those feelings, having to hold back and hide that part of yourself from everyone. This has been my life since I discovered who I was. The difference now is that I’ve found the one person with whom I can’t hide away. I don’t want to. I want live this out to its fullest because that’s how he lives his life. I’ve felt the fulfillment when he’s there, and I know the empty void when he’s not. This is my time, Oro, my one chance. I have to take it.”

“You’ll be throwing it all away,” Orophin argued.

“I’ll be starting something new,” I countered.

“And what happens if this turns out to be a disappointment? What will you do then? You won’t be able to come back to the army.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I said with confidence. “I know a passing fancy from true emotions.”

“Rúmil, if you just take a moment to–”

“Let him go,” Haldir interrupted.

“I can’t do that,” Orophin said. “And you shouldn’t either. We made a promise to our father to watch after him, and make sure he–”

“Let him go,” Haldir said again, this time soft and slow.

“But Hal,” Orophin said to try and sway Haldir one more time.

“I haven’t forgotten the promise we made. I think it has burdened me more than it has you. And as Rúmil grew and matured, I was always there pushing him in the same direction as the rest of us. Sometimes I interfered when I shouldn’t have, and for that I am sorry. But Rúmil has made his choice, and it is not for father that he does this now. He’s lived that part of his life long enough. I should know.” Haldir paused. He looked at me and tapped his hand to his tunic. “I’ve had missed opportunities along the way, one in which I regret even to this day. I don’t want him making the same mistake. He should be allowed to follow his heart.”

I realized that the place he touched with his hand was where he’d put the message I’d brought him from Cúnon’s home. So, there had been someone in his past, someone he must have loved, but turned from in order to carry out his life and career as March warden, one final message that never arrived. “It’s never too late,” I said, not knowing what else to say to him.

Haldir smiled solemnly. “For some it is, but not for you.”

Orophin sighed, giving up on trying to convince me not to do what I was about to do. “What happens now?”

“I’ll take a few days to get my troops in order, make sure the Northern Guard is organized. And then I’ll go to Lord Celeborn. After that, I’m not sure what will happen. In the meantime, I’ll wait to hear word from Legolas. He’s on his way to Gondor at the moment, but he said he’d let me know when he returned to Mirkwood.”

“Is that where you’ll live from now on?” Orophin asked. Haldir looked curious too.

“I … I guess so. I haven’t thought it through yet.” I looked at Haldir. “Of course, if you need me, I’ll not go.”

“I thought that was the whole point of this,” Haldir said.

“I’ll have the freedom to come and go as I please without having to keep it secret. And Legolas could come here too. I’ll not abandon my brothers if I’m still needed here. Mirkwood is not all that far.”

“You shouldn’t have to do that,” Haldir said. “Besides, I’ve got Orophin, and don’t forget about my nurses. There are plenty here who will watch out for me.”

I felt terrible. If I was going to leave the army, it would mean having a lot more time on my hands, time that I could have spent helping my paralyzed brother. “For now, I’ll be here. I’ll give this more thought while I wait for Legolas to return.” I would leave it at that, but if Haldir needed me, then I would stay and commute between here and Mirkwood. Legolas would understand, and the fact that I would have my freedom was most important.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Haldir said. “As for now, let’s just enjoy the time while we are still the Lórien Three.”

Orophin and I went to Haldir, and we hugged, knowing these were the final days as we were now. Things would be changing very soon, and things hadn’t changed in a very long time.
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Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home