Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Unreal	By : Ibonekoen Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General > Lord of the Ring Stars Views: 2326 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: Nope, we don�t own them. Wish we did. This never happened (well, to the best of our knowledge), it�s just a figment of our twisted little imaginations. And we do hope that you enjoy it. :-D

Orlando was in a panic. He�d slept most of the afternoon and a better part of the evening, hoping his color would return. Now, standing in his hotel room, staring at his reflection in the mirror, he saw he looked even worse than before.

�Fuck,� he hissed. What was he gonna do?!

Lij. . .Lij would know what to do.

He raced to the elevator, rode it to the top floor and then banged desperately on Elijah�s door.

�Go away Billy, I�m not falling for that a third time,� Elijah called out from inside.

Orlando looked confused. Uh oh, what practical joke had Billy been playing now?

�Lij, it�s Orli,� he called.

The room beyond the door fell quiet for a moment, then the peep hole went dark.

�Oh. . .shit. . .just a minute! I gotta get dressed!� Elijah exclaimed.

Orlando perked up at that. Oooh, Elijah was naked? He tried to peer in through the peep hole, then shook his head.

What was he DOING?! He was supposed to be worrying about the fact that he looked half-dead, not trying to get a peek of his friend naked! Not to mention, his very definitely MALE friend.

Because, ya know, he wasn�t gay. He joked around, flirting with Billy and Dom, but that was just playing.

Elijah opened the door a minute later, still tucking his shirt into his pants. His hair was still wet.

�Sorry, I just got out of the shower,� he explained. �What�s up?�

�I still look like shit,� Orlando whined. �I�ve been sleeping all day practically. Help!�

Elijah exhaled loudly, then backed into his room.

�Come on in,� he said. �I�ve got some stuff that can cover up those circles.�

In fact, he�d bought it that afternoon.

�Thanks, Lij,� Orlando said gratefully as he followed Elijah into the room. �You�re a lifesaver.�

Maybe he could find out what was bothering Elijah. . .

�How was the art exhibit?� he asked casually.

�Um. . .okay,� Elijah said with a shrug as he closed the door. �I didn�t understand a lot of it. The stuff I did understand, Viggo explained. Man, I�d love to be as smart as that guy.�

�Why�d you leave, Lij?� Orlando asked softly. �Dom said you were fine until I showed up. Are you mad at me or something?�

�I�m not mad,� Elijah insisted. �I just. . . you seemed to want to spend time with Liv.�

Orlando cleared his throat, chuckling nervously. Oops, so his crush was more visible than he thought. �I wanted to spend time with you too,� he protested. �You didn�t have to go.�

He shrugged. �Well, you didn�t miss much. We all crashed not too long after you left.�

�Yeah, I took a nap when I got back myself,� Elijah said. �Didn�t sleep much though. I�m really nervous about this. All the records and stuff.�

Orlando smiled, reaching out to pat Elijah�s back comfortingly. �Just relax, mate. It�ll be a breeze.�

Elijah smiled a little.

�How do you do it, Orli?� he asked. �You�re always so positive.�

Orlando shrugged, blushing a little. �You didn�t know me when I broke my back,� he said quietly. �I wasn�t too positive then.�

He shook his head, not even wanting to think about that dark period. �So, let�s see you work your magic and give me some color for tonight.�

�Oh. Right,� Elijah said, then went to get the make-up.

�What were you planning on wearing tonight?� he called from the bathroom, then smirked privately: Orli�s fashion sense was. . .interesting.

�Um, clothes,� Orlando said, grinning. �No, I�ve got this orange shirt that says �I love NZ� and I�m gonna pair it with black slacks and a black jacket.�

See? He could match!

Elijah chuckled in spite of himself.

�An orange t-shirt?� he asked, grinning. �That�s class.�

Orlando smirked. �It�s a lovely shade too,� he said. �Hey, mate, gotta show my love for New Zealand.�

�Viggo�s wearing a UN shirt. You�re off the hook,� Elijah admitted with a smirk. �I tried to talk him out of it, but he�s still pissed about the �Saruman�s Osama Bin Laden� stuff. Just don�t try the same stuff anywhere else, okay?�

Orlando smiled. �I promise I�ll dress snazzier for the other premieres.�

�No tablecloths,� Elijah teased playfully. �You should get dressed first or you�ll get make-up on your shirt.�

Orlando stuck his tongue out. �I do not wear tablecloths,� he protested as he set the bag he�d thrown his clothes in on the couch, then pulled his shirt over his head. He didn�t even think twice about stripping in front of Elijah.

�You�ve been working out,� Elijah said before he could stop himself. Argh! He was so staring!

Orlando grinned, pausing to flex. �Whoo, glad to know somebody noticed.�

Was Elijah checking him out?

He blinked. Oh no. Oh noooooooooooooo. Was that what the problem was? Elijah had a crush on him and knew he had a crush on Liv?

Fuck! When had his life gotten so damned dramatic?!

This was all Legolas� fault. Damn elves and their drama.

�Yeah,� Elijah said, then looked away quickly again. If he took off his pants, he was pretty sure he�d faint.

Orlando watched Elijah curiously as he undid the fly of his jeans, then pushed them down his hips. He stepped out of them, nearly tripping over one of the legs as it refused to let go of his foot.

�So what�re you wearing to the premiere?� he asked as he unzipped his bag and reached in, pulling out his pants.

No response. Elijah was doing his best not to drool. He�d been expecting cute skinny white boy, not cute period piece stud. Damn it.

Orlando raised an eyebrow, watching Elijah. Oh yeah, he had it bad. . .

He gazed at Elijah for a few moments, noticing for the first time how cute his friend really was.

�Lij?� he muttered, reaching out to wave his hand in front of Elijah�s face.

Elijah blinked suddenly and started back into reality.

�Sorry, I um, spaced,� he stammered, his cheeks going red. �Jet lag.�

�Ah,� Orlando said, nodding. �You didn�t answer my question.�

He unfolded his pants and then pulled them on, his eyes on Elijah. One corner of his mouth curled upward in a half-smile. �You�re cute when you blush.�

He blinked. Had he just said that aloud? He�d meant to think that quietly to himself.

Elijah dug his nails into the palm of his hand. It hurt. Okay, he wasn�t dreaming.

�Um, thanks?� he responded, not at all sure what to think.

Orlando cleared his throat, his own cheeks turning pink. �You�re welcome.�

He quickly did up his pants, then pulled his orange shirt over his head. He then nervously ran his fingers through his curls, mussing them up. �Okay, so I�m ready for the make-up.�

�Okay,� Elijah said, then got started. They were just going to pretend like that whole exchange hadn�t happened. Right.

A half-hour later, he stood back from Orlando critically, trying to determine what they�d accomplished.

�Huh,� he said critically. �I don�t think Return of the King was referring to Elvis.�

�Thank you, thank you very much,� Orlando said in his best Elvis voice as he smirked.

Elijah laughed loudly.

�A British Elvis impersonator,� he remarked. �Um, okay, sure.�

�Sure, why not?� Orlando said, grinning. �I think I could pull it off.�

Wow, look at that. Elijah�s eyes sparkled when he laughed. . . And the skin around his eyes got kind of crinkly. . .it was cute.

Why did he suddenly have the urge to kiss him?

�Oh come on, like you�re not a big enough hunk on your own,� Elijah countered, relaxing a little, then he checked the clock. �Shit! I�d better get dressed! It�s almost four!�

Orlando blinked, snapping out of his semi-trance. He wondered if Elijah noticed he�d been staring at his lips. . .

�Yeah, might be a good idea,� he said. �Though I�m sure the fans would get a kick if you showed up naked.�

�Yeah right. I�m not you, Orli,� Elijah said as he got his clothes from the closet. �It�s nowhere near as impressive.�

�You don�t have to be me, mate,� Orlando said. �I�m sure it�s just as hot, in its own special way.�

�Ahhhhhhhhhhh. . .no,� Elijah insisted, then headed into the bathroom and closed the door.

�Awwww, no fair!� Orlando called out. �I showed you mine!�

�I didn�t ask you to!� Elijah insisted from inside the bathroom as he pulled his shirt off. �Besides, you get to see my half-naked ass on a BIG SCREEN tonight!�

God he hated that scene.

�That�s not true,� Orlando said. �We don�t get to see no bare hobbit ass. I�m very disappointed about that too!�

�Alright Orli, quit it,� Elijah urged.

Orlando sucked at the inside of his cheek. �Alright, alright,� he said.

Wow. . .how long had Elijah had a crush on him? And how had he been oblivious to it?

Elijah opened the door after he�d gotten just his pants on, his face red.

�There. You happy?� he asked angrily, obviously self-conscious.

Orlando let out a low whistle. �Very nice,� he said, nodding as he stared at Elijah. He wasn�t buff, but there was something appealing about him.

He licked his lips, the urge to kiss Elijah having returned in full force.

�I�m no Liv Tyler,� Elijah grumbled as he pulled his shirt on. There. He�d said it. Everyone could shut up now, thanks.

Orlando winced. Ouch. He deserved that, he supposed.

God damn! He had to talk to Viggo. Had I> kI> known that Elijah liked him and didn�t feel he should tell him?

�You�re beautiful, in your own way,� he insisted. Oy. . .would Elijah get offended at being called beautiful? Didn�t that usually apply to females?

�Yup, got big ol� doe eyes that makes every girl just want to be my bestest friend!� Elijah exclaimed sarcastically as he did up his shirt.

Orlando frowned. �Elijah, mate, you shouldn�t put yourself down. You�re a very attractive guy. There�s a girl out there for you. When the time is right, you�ll meet her.�

�Let�s just go. I don�t want to talk about it,� Elijah muttered as he fought with his tie. �Stupid thing. Who ever thought these were good ideas?!�

Orlando chuckled, stepping closer to Elijah. �Here, let me.� He swatted Elijah�s hands aside and began repairing the mess Elijah had made of the tie.

Elijah looked to the side as Orlando fussed, trying not to like the attention too much.

�Thanks,� he mumbled. �I would have gotten it eventually.�

�It�s okay,� Orlando insisted. He licked his suddenly dry lips, then frowned slightly, leaning forward to sniff at Elijah. �Is that a new cologne?�

�Aftershave,� Elijah responded tentatively, peeking back at the other man. �Since when did you notice stuff like that?�

Orlando cleared his throat, blushing slightly. �Um, ya know,� he said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. �Nice goatee, by the way.�

Honestly, he didn�t really think it suited Elijah. . .but he didn�t want to hurt his feelings or anything.

�Thanks. Got tired of looking like a kid,� Elijah responded half-heartedly. He was starting to get the feeling he was being patronized: what was with the sudatteattention?

Orlando nodded, then finished tying Elijah�s tie, smoothing it down. �There you go,� he said. �Now you�re ready to make the girls swoon.�

Argh, he was backing away now. Those blue eyes were proving to be too much. Not to mention the lovely smell of Elijah�s aftershave.

Since when did he think Elijah smelled nice? And why did he have the urge to kiss him again? It was all so confusing.

�You�re in the head car. They�ll be passed out by the time I get there,� Elijah responded, then smiled weakly. He was trying, see?

Why was he looking at him like that?

�They�re not all my fans,� Orlando insisted, retreating back another step. �We should, um, probably getting going. Thanks for the make-up.�

�Yeah. Right,� Elijah agreed, looking away quickly. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

******

As the afternoon wore on, a convoy of vehicles cruised slowly down the Wellington parade route, en route to the premiere. Hordes of fans lined the streets, waiting to catch a glimpse of their favorite star. Girls were screaming, waving homemade signs and magazine pictures, and some were snapping pictures.

Orlando squinted against the afternoon sun as he waved to the fans. The sunglasses helped a little, but he had a bit of a headache starting.

He glanced at Liv, who sat beside him on the back of the convertible in which they were riding. God, she was so beautiful.

�Roy is so lucky,� he muttered softly.

�What was that?� Liv asked loudly above the overwhelming noise. �My God, I�ve never SEEN anything like this! This is crazy!�

�Uh, I just said we�re so lucky!� Orlando said as he leaned closer to Liv so she could hear him above the noise. �It�s madness, is what it is!�

He breathed deeply of her perfume, somehow resisting the urge to brush his lips across her bared shoulder. He didn�t think her husband would appreciate that very much and besides, the media was probably snapping pictures of them at that very moment.

Liv leaned closer so that the side of her face was almost touching his.

�Wow, I�ll say!� she exclaimed, then giggled a little. �I think a part of me�s going to miss this.�

He shivered. She was so close. . .and yet totally untouchable. Unrequited love sucked. . .

But then. . .if he�d spoken up and not been so bloody shy, maybe she�d be HIS wife.

Whoa. . .had he just thought that? See? He wasn�t afraid of commitment. Not really.

�Yeah,� he agreed. �I�m gonna miss this too.�

She turned to look at him, then smiled, blinking a few times.

�Don�t get too famous for the rest of us, okay?� she said, her voice barely audible over the crowd.

Orlando smiled shyly. �I won�t,� he promised.

Were those tears in her eyes?

She smiled in her singular way again, color rising in her cheeks.

�Liar,� she said, half-playfully, half-seriously, then turned back to waving at the crowd.

Orlando licked his lips and whispered, �I love you, Liv.� He doubted she heard him over the crowd, but that was just fine.

He went back to waving at the crowd, then glanced behind him at the rest of convoy.

The other cast members were looking equally in awe of the frenzied crowd. After a moment, he felt Liv�s hand touch his leg.

�Face forward, silly. You�re going to fall out of the car,� she said. She obviously hadn�t heard him.

He jumped a bit as he glanced at her hand, blinking. Duh. . .he�d suddenly lost the ability to string together two coherent thoughts.

�Yeah, that would be bad,� he agreed, nodding. He flashed her a brilliant smile and then looked away, trying not to think about her hand anymore.

She laughed, then spontaneously kissed him on the cheek.

�You�re sweet, Orli,� she said, then licked her lips, making a face. Wow, he was wearing a lot of make-up.

Orlando blushed. She�d just kissed his cheek. He felt most giddy.

Egad, she hadn�t smudged the make-up, had she?

She rubbed at his cheek a little, trying to get off the lipstick she�d left.

Orlando licked his lips, gulping. He wondered if she noticed the amount of make-up he was wearing. Well, duh, she was a girl. She had to notice. But would she comment?

Liv evidently decided not to comment, but was a little quiet for the rest of the ride: guys that wore make-up when they didn�t have to were a little weird.

Orlando watched Liv out of the corner of his eye. Great, he�d weirded her out. Should he tell her why he was wearing make-up?

�Um. . .� he said, wetting his lips as he debated.

Liv smiled at him nervously, then glanced back at a sudden commotion behind her. Billy was trying to stop Dom from mooning the crowd. Elijah was trying oh so hard not to notice.

Orlando rolled his eyes, shaking his head. �Okay, maybe I won�t miss Dom so much,� he joked.

He rubbed his neck nervously, feeling that he should explain the make-up thing. �Liv. . .about the make-up. . .um. . .it�s not what you think.�

�I�m not thinking anything,� she insisted, fiddling with the flower on the front of her dress.

�I still looked like shit, even after sleeping most of the day,� he said. �I went to Lij for help. Solution: make-up.�

�Oh,� Liv said, visibly relaxing. Then her face spread in a huge grin. �Couldn�t he help you with your clothes? He and I are the only ones dressed up for this thing.�

She pinched his sleeve playfully.

�You don�t like my shirt?� he said, pouting a little. �At least it�s not a tablecloth, right?�

He grinned, winking. �You look lovely, as usual.�

�Thanks,� Liv , lo, looking a bit shy. �Yes, it�s an improvement to the tablecloth.�

Orlando chuckled. �I�m never gonna live that one down, am I?� he asked.

�No, but we all love you anyway,� Liv insisted with a grin. Then she saw a �FRODO LIVES� sign and frowned.

�I don�t even understand those,� she admitted, shaking her head a little.

Meanwhile, Elijah was chuckling at the sign himself. Yeah, Frodo lived, and Elvis was alive and well in the head car.

Orlando glanced at the sign and shook his head. �Don�t feel bad, love. I don�t either.�

�Oh, there�s a �Marry Me Orli� sign,� Liv said, pointing it out to him. Elijah, meanwhile, managed to dodge a flying pair of underwear. . . hey! Those were GUYS underwear! WRONG! SO WRONG!

. . .

Was it that obvious?

�Wow,� Orlando said, grinning. �t itt it a sign you�re a sex symbol when your fans propose to you?�

He waved to the girl holding the sign and blew her a kiss. There, that should make her day.

�Oh, now you want ME to contribute to your ego?� Liv teased, nudging him.

By this point, Billy and Dom had noticed the underwear projectile, and were shouting taunts at Elijah.

�But of course!� Orlando said, nudging her back as he winked.

He glanced over his shoulder, hearing the commotion Billy and Dom were making. �Hey, no fair. Ls ges getting undies thrown at him.�

�He doesn�t look too happy about it,� Liv observed as she looked back.

Oh God, what were Dom and Billy doing? She blew Elijah a kiss. See! Girls liked him too!

�MARRY ME, FRODO!� Billy hollered, grinning stupidly. Elijah surreptitiously gave him the finger behind his back. Heh, this was kind of fun.

Orlando couldn�t help but feel envious and wrinkled his nose. Hey, Liv wasn�t supposed to be blowing kisses to Lij. . .he wasn�t the one that was in love with her.

He rolled his eyes, chuckling at Billy. �What a dork,� he said, grinning.

�Was that what that face was about?� Liv asked.

�Come on Lij! You know you want me! Ah�m dead sexay!� Billy hollered. Dom cracked up, and almost fell out of the car. Even Elijah laughed at that one: Pippin doing Fat Bastard. That was new.

�What face?� Orlando said. Uh oh, busted.
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Unreal