Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

What Cannot Be Had	By : squirrelchaser Category: -Multi-Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2876 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
Third Age
*~Glorfindel~*
I
always had a weakness for dark hair, for it was so unlike my own. Deep as night
and glossy, it seemed to hold the darkness of the night and the light of the
stars all at the same time. Darkness, I discovered, could vary from the deepest
black to a rich brown, light reflected off in a red or blue sheen; so different
from one dimensional golden hair.
In
Gondolin, I had always longed to run my fingers through the deep black tresses
of my co-captain, Ecthelion, but dared not to for fear of the implications that
such touch might carry.
Now
I was in Imladris, and it was the Peredhils that captured my attentions now.
Long had I admired Lord Elrond with his pale, smooth skin and deep, dark hair
that seemed to carry so many secrets. I did not care for the dark haired
maidens, nor the light ones. It was the dark haired males that became my
undoing.
For
the entirety of my first life I had remained good. I had quelled my urges for
the affections of my fellow male elves, keeping my hands and mind to myself and
instead offering only the most loyal of friendships. It was impossible, I knew,
to seek anything more. I had been able to remain mostly happy for I carefully
guarded my heart and did not allow myself to over analyze a touch from
Ecthelion or a glance from Legolas of the Tree. I did not mind being alone.
In
Imladris however, malcontent began to stir. I watched jealously as Elrond
courted Celebrian, though I knew from his own lips that he married her for what
he called a �conquest.� Conquest or not, they had each other and I had no one.
Erestor
too was alone, but he seemed content. He was not content when I sought out comfort
in the silkiness of his dark hair, or of his lips, for that matter. His, �What
are you doing?� followed by a �Get off of me!� could not have any clearer
meaning, but I was merely curious and so his rejection did not have any lasting
emotional ramifications. As I was also the superior warrior, with two lifetimes
of training and experience to his one, his rejection carried no lasting
physical ramifications either.<
<
It
was Elladan who captured my attention and held it, though it was many years
after his birth did I come to feel for him as such.
The
night Celebr�an gave birth I had been away in Lorien. My return, accompanied by
the Lady of the Wood, saw not one but two squirming bundles of elf, already
capped by a dusting of dark baby hair. Children were something nearly foreign
to me, and in all honesty my first thought was, �Two of them?� followed closely
by, �Which one is which?�
For
the first seventy five years of their lives I gave little thought to these twin
brothers for I saw little of them.

*~Elladan~*
My
first memory of Glorfindel was more like a memory of a feeling.
I
had been five, sitting in the softness of my Amar�s [mother�s] lap, and I think
she was braiding my hair.
Glorfindel
had strode into the room, looking for Adar [father], with a great broad sword
in one hand and his hair was loose and unbound about his shoulders.
I
don�t remember what the question was, or what the answer Amar gave him was; all
I remember was feeling awe.
The
sunlight gleamed off the gold of his hair and skin and flashed off the silver
of the sword; he was taller and broader than many of the elves in Imladris but
carried himself with unmatched grace. Even as he stood nonchalantly in the
room, posing a benign question, I knew even from first glance that he was a legend.
Seventy
years later I told Glorfindel of this memory, and he had laughed.
�No,
Elladan,� he had shook his head. �My feats are dwarfed by those of the First
Age, who now rest in the Halls of Mandos. I was but a pawn in the game of life,
easily done away with and just as well forgotten.�
Adar
had rolled his eyes but said nothing, and I knew better than to believe
Glorfindel�s humble words for without Glorfindel of Gondolin, Elrond of
Imladris would never have come to be.
I
studied Glorfindel for a moment: golden hair and skin that glowed as the sun,
the golden flower for which is house in Gondolin had been named for. His eyes
were the deepest blue, like the blue stone that was set in Vilya, but they held
a life and warmth that a gemstone never could. He was very attractive, that
much is true, but in his story and his humility I sensed there was something
more to him, a secret or two that I longed to discover.
I
think that night was the first I ever began to become attracted to Glorfindel.

*~Glorfindel~*
He
was the son of an elf lord who was my good friend, not to mention some
thousands of years my junior. He was so young, so untouched by both the sorrows
and the joys of life that instinct told me to think of as a mere child. Yet he
carried himself with such grace and an elegant demeanor he rivaled his father
in terms of stateliness, and his untroubled heart appealed in juxtaposition to
my own, for I bore the memory and sorrow of not one but two lives. And he had
dark hair.
My
affections for Elladan began to show themselves when Celebr�an became pregnant
for a second time. She said she felt round and content when she was with child,
and Elrond loved children. Though I know for a fact that Elrond and Celebr�an
were not soul mates, it could not be denied that they would forever be joined
in the faces of their sons and daughter. They had a union that was unique,
specific, and precious, and I longed for a union as such.
It
was frustrating for me to finally find one whom I would dare bestow my heart onl only to have him be both male and one who who�s life was devoted to serve
Imladris from the moment of his conception. It was impossible, I knew, for me
to have any of the Peredhils. Elrond would have been the most logical as he was
nearer to my age and status, but Elladan, being very young, was most certainly
out of my grasp.
Not
that that stopped me and as my Lady swelled, so did my want for Elladan.
I
had never been subtle in anything, and it would turn out that romantic love was
no exception.
In
a moment of what must have been utter insanity, Elladan and I were alone in a
room, and I decided to quit caring and thinking logically. I backed him up
against a wall, and kissed him. It was brief kiss, but a kiss nonetheless, and
its meaning could not be taken for anything other than what it was.
Unlike
my encounter with Erestor, Elladan returned my kiss and he even allowed me to
touch his hair. I was pleased.

*~Elladan~*
Was
I willing to have an illicit relationship with Glorfindel? Yes. Would Adar slaughter
me in rightful rage should he find out? Probably, but he was so occupied with
his new daughter/my sister/Arwen bundle of gurgling baby rapture that I doubt
he would notice if Glorfindel and I danced naked around the room.
And
besides, Glorfindel and I had had an innocent relationship�at first.
One
afternoon things changed. I had somehow managed to bring an entire row of dusty
scrolls down on my head, and Glorfindel was helping me return them to their
rightful place. I was perched high on the ladder, blinking againse die dirt as
I shoved ridiculous amounts of scrolls into various nooks and crannies.
Glorfindel
was below me, handing things up from the floor.
I
felt a lingering warmth on my back side and turned to see the back of Glorfindel�s
hand resting there, still clenched around a scroll, and his face was turned to
the window so I assume he did not see where he touched. I reached down and took
the scroll, and he turned and saw where his hand rested.
�Oh!
My apologies, Elladan,� he apologized, and from the flush of his cheeks I could
tell he was sincere.
�It
is of no consequence,� I had replied, and turned my face away to hide my smile.
I did not mind him touching me. While reaching down for the next scroll I
trailed my hands across his hair. After that while handing up the next load he
turned his face to look at me and I brushed his cheek.
He
smiled, and at the next transition his hand glanced across the back of my
thigh.
The
game was on!

*~Glorfindel~*
I
can say with all confidence that it was Elladan who was at fault. Well, not
really, but I could imagine the look on Elrond�s face if, while confronting us,
I pointed to Elladan in the chair next to me and whined with the maturity of a
child, �Well, he started it!�
Elrond
would surely not hold it above his decorum to butcher me on the spot.
Once
we had replaced the scrolls that Elladan had managed to knock down, I was
walking out of the library ahead of Elladan. I should have remembered how impetuous
Elladan was, and therefore counted on what happened next.
I
stopped and let out a cry when two long, strong hands gripped my backside and
lingered, examining and fondling at their owner�s leisure for what seemed like
forever to my pounding heart.
Letting
go and stepping around me Elladan whispered hotly in one ear, �Oh, my
apologies, Glorfindel,� and from his tone I knew that he was indeed not sorry
at all.
Sense
coming back to me (or, judging by the events to follow, left me) I let out a
playful snarl, and he took off, with me in hot pursuit.
Poor
Elladan. I woo soo swift for him, catching up to him as he reached his chamber,
his shelter, and overcame him just as he made it through the doorway.
�Safe!�
He gasped as I pinned him to the floor.
�Hardly,
you wretch,�
He
writhed under me, kicking the door shut, and then with a glint in his eye he
lifted his head and kissed me as his hands started to roam, alighting me as
none other had before.
That
devious, cunning little sneak!
�This
was pre-meditated!� I panted when his lips left mine and meandered down my
neck.
�Mmhm,�
his reply was muffled against my skin.
I
let out a whine as blood pooled in my groin, leaving little in my brain for
rational thought. It was not fair�not right! The sons of elf lords were not
supposed to be this wanton and sly, not to mention so treacherously attractive�why
could they not all be composed and pensive like their sires? I wonder if
Thranduil and Celeborn ever had such dilemmas, and was slightly anxious to hear
how they rid themselves of them.
�Elladan,�
He
nipped a very sensitive spot on my neck, around my collar bone before going
lower...who knew that bit could be so susceptible to pleasure? Ai!
�what
was I going to ask? I think I might have moaned too, but managed to grind out,
�We
should not be...�
Sweet
stars.
�We
should not be doing��
After
an especially hard nip Elladan slid his lips up to mine again and whispered,
tickling terribly, �But it was you, dear Glorfindel, that initiated this entire
happening.� He kissed me. �Remember, that first kiss that you so eagerly
bestowed? You not I; it was you who began this entire ordeal.�
�Then
I suppose that I must be the one that puts an end to it,�
�Hmm.�
Elladan rose up off of me, with a look in his eye that made sure that there was
some mistake, and that he was really the one who was older, wiser, and always
got what he wanted. �It is late. Come to bed with me, Glorfindel.�

*~Elladan~*
I
was not stupid. I could not mistake the hot evidence that I deliberately rocked
against, turning strong, mighty Glorfindel into a mass of elf puddle underneath
me. �Then simply sleep beside me. That is not so wrong is it?� I lower my lips
to his ear. �Males sleep beside one another all the time, in times of war, in
the darkness of the forest while on the prowl.� I felt his resolve begin to
melt. �Come with me, Glorfindel.�
�Very
well.�
In
triumph I rose, guiding him by the wrist to my bed, and watched his eyes grow
round as saucers when I peeled off my tunic. His conscious, I could tell, was
telling him to turn and flee that moment but he did not. I think he expected me
to continue to strip but I left my leggings on and slid under the covers, lay
down, and watched with pleasure as he undid the clasps of his own tunic with
trembling fingers.
Who
would have thought the legendary warrior and captain and hero of Gondolin could
be shy?
I
was very amused at this thought, and I think my amusement prompted my next
move. Glorfindel lay beside me in the darkness, and ever predatory I moved
closer and began to touch, to stroke, and he came closer willingly. I could
smell his desire, the newness for both of us, and feel the trepidation in both
our souls that was quickly dissipating to untroubled need.
I
could not help myself. My hands slid lower, into his leggings, working him to
heights that neither of us knew were possible as he reached behind him and
grabbed me, pulling me closer. After Glorfindel was finished we slept, knowing
that everything had changed and that there was no going back.

*~Glorfindel~*
I
woke slowly, ing ing gloriously languid and warm from the long, beautiful body
that lay beside me.
Elladan
was already awake, and hearing me stir, opened his eyes. �Morning,� he
murmured.
I
smiled, and he touched my face. I forgot and did not care that this was wrong,
for it didn�t feel wrong. It felt better and I felt more at home than anything
ever before had; I knew with Elladan my heart was at rest. I was at peace. I
was ready for anything that was to come, or so I thought.
In
the beginning, Elladan was very patient as we explored and tried to decipher
the mystery of making love between two males. Eventually carnal instinct and
need drove us to figure out what was supposed to go where, but even then we had
trouble.
I
hurt so bad the first time to I made every effort to conceal it. I did not fool
Elladan, who saw the blood and stopped though I begged him to continue.
In
the beginning, it was very, very difficult for me. I could not understand how I
could have fought and died in the ancient battles of Gondolin in the First Age,
lived the lore of Middle Earth, and yet I could not do the simple act of
completion with my lover. I wondered if perhaps there was simply no way to
accomplish what we intended, but every night we tried with the same result:
extreme discomfort on my part and blood smeared bed sheets.
�Shh,�
Elladan had whispered, kissing my face. �There are other ways to enjoy one
another.�
Our
answer came on an early summer afternoon.
I
was out in the gardens when the sound of Elrond�s laughter and a thumping
caught my attention. Curiosity getting the better of me I followed the sound to
find the elf lord holding a small kitten his lap. The foolish kitten had
managed to lodge its head into a jar and was unable to extricate himself, much
to the amusement of myself and Elrond.
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

What Cannot Be Had