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Underneath alien skies	By : Nuredhel Category: +Third Age > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1617 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: II do not own Lord of the Rings, it belongs to Tolkien, and i do not earn any money from this work of fiction, it is solely written for entertainment and not for profit at all. do not own Lord of the Rings, it belongs to Tolkien,

Chapter List
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Oh boy is Thranduil in trouble, but it is not without reasons. He’s got quite a lot of skeletons stuffed away in his closet and he needs to get rid of them. Oh it is funny to torture the characters a bit. But do not worry, it is all for the best. So, Frostbird sensed guilt within him, let’s see what that was all about.
Chapter Three: Old truths, old lies.

When the truth is hidden
Lies and deceit may take its place
Don’t dwell within the life once lived
Dare to stare your past in the eye
And cleanse your own soul

It hurt, in fact it hurt like hell. It felt like his body was on fire and he tried to squirm and escape but he could not. He could not move. Panic rushed through him, it was that terrible moment once more, fire was consuming him and he opened his eyes screaming. He gasped for air, tried to move his head but he had some sort of collar around his neck and it stopped any movements. He was terrified and confused and then he remembered. He was still alive, but why?
Then he remembered a dream, a terrible dream and he knew that there was something he had to do, unless his son would perish, become a ghost of his own self. He shivered, tried to see his surroundings. It was a rather small room, the walls were made from stone and there was a fireplace with a good fire going. It had some nice tapestries on the walls, there were no windows and only a door and he felt claustrophobic right away. A thick blanket covered him, it was warm and soft and comfortable, but he felt trapped. He felt tears streaming down his face, the pain, it was terrible. But he could endure it if he only knew how he could save Legolas.
The door opened and an elderly man clad in long white robes entered, he had long gray hair and a gentle but somewhat stern face. Thranduil understood that this was Naragh, the healer. He tried to control himself, tried to maintain his royal superiority but somehow he failed. He had never regarded humans as anything but a nuisance or perhaps useful pawns, he could not think of this man in such a manner. He had saved his life, well at least for now.
Naragh placed his hand on his forehead. “Good, no fever! You are strong my friend, but you could have been even stronger.”
He swallowed and the old man lifted his head a bit, very gently and held a cup of something to his lips. He took a sip, it was water, fresh cold water and it felt wonderful. He was so thirsty he felt like he could have drunk an entire barrel of the stuff. He finished the cup and was desperate for more, gasped for air and wanted to reach for it but his one good arm was tied down for some reason. “Easy there now, you cannot have too much yet, your body can’t handle it. A little at a time yes, and often.”
He looked at the man who lifted the blanket, then he saw his own body and he felt like he would vomit right there and then. He was black and blue all over, there were bandages and splinters and he realized why he was in so much pain. “What have you done to me old man?! And what in the name of the Valar did you mean by what you said, could have been even stronger?!”
Naragh checked the wounds, his face was relaxed and friendly, he looked almost like some sort of gentle old granddad. “I have opened you up and stitched you back together, a rather marvelous job if I may brag about my own work. And as for the things I said, yes you would have been a lot stronger if you hadn’t tried to replace your own blood with wine or whatever it is elven royalty is drinking back where you’re from. “
He stared at the old man with shock, how did this old human dare to speak to him like that? He was just gasping and Naragh gave him a crooked smile. “Ah, of course, you are a king. You have the right to do whatever you want, even ruin your own body and drink yourself into an early grave. And that is quite a feat for an elf, I’d tell you that. If you had died here and we’ve had to cremate you I’d guess you would have burned for days!”
He was boiling, if he could have moved he would have killed that insolent old man with his bare hands and then slowly, the true meaning of what he said sank in. “What…what do you mean?”
Naragh sat down, grabbed his hand very gently. “What I am saying is that you were ill even before you fell, heck, you must have felt it somehow. Too much wine over time will harm even one of your race. So no more wine until you are fully recovered!”
He swallowed again, recalled the strange sensation he had had within his upper abdomen, the weird pain that came and went. The old man was right, but he felt how he craved a glass of wine, and craved it intensely. “I… I did hurt, sometimes. “
Naragh just nodded. “As I guessed, but do not worry, it is not too late. If you manage to stay away from the booze you should be ok again.”
He tried to nod but it hurt too bad. Naragh picked up a small bottle and uncorked it, let a couple of drops fall into a spoon and held it to his lips. “This will take the edge of the worst pain, I am giving you four times the normal dose of this stuff. To your race it won’t do any harm but it would kill a human being.”
It had a taste that was just vile and he tried to spit it out but had to swallow. It left a strange comfortable warmth within him and he felt a bit better right away. There was still pain but somehow it did not matter. He sighed with relief and Naragh smiled at him, the smile was very warm and friendly and Thranduil felt a sensation of gratitude. He had never heard of anyone, not even an elven healer, who had been able to do what this old man had done. “I…I thank you, from the bottom of my soul. You have saved my life!”
Naragh grinned and stroked his head, it felt unusual to be touched like that, so gently. He was not used to being touched by anyone, but it felt good. “Well, you are not out of the woods just yet my friend but I say you have great chances. The Gods must have let you survive for some reason.”
He nodded, felt his head spin like crazy. He was hungry and still thirsty and he knew he was weak like a toddler and would be for a long time. “I have to save him, my son”
Naragh raised an eyebrow, he looked very inquisitive. “So you have a son, I bet he is a lovely person”
Thranduil felt how desperation threatened to overwhelm him completely. “He is, the best, my light and joy. I can’t let the shadows consume his soul”
Naragh sighed. “Of course you won’t let that happen, there is nothing one won’t do for one’s children.”
Thranduil tried to smile, tried to be polite and show some good behavior. “Do you have children?”
Naragh shook his head. “Alas, that opportunity was stolen from me a long time ago. I was a slave and my owner had me castrated to increase my value. That’s how I ended up in this business. I was working within a harem for some years and learned a lot. I had to take care of the women and make sure they remained beautiful and I liked the job, I mean, who would not?”
There was a glimpse of humor within the old man’s eyes but Thranduil found nothing funny about it. He was utterly shocked and disgusted. “Castrated?! By the Gods, you humans are vile! That is horrible!”
Naragh just shrugged. “Yes, we are at times. But I survived and for that I am grateful, I have lived a good life in spite of it. And speaking of women, your son’s mother?”
Thranduil went stiff like a board, he was barely breathing. “She… she is dead, a long time ago!”
Naraghs eyes were gentle but there was something within them which told the elven king that this man could see more than the obvious.
Thranduil was shivering, he did not want those memories to return to him but they did, relentless and unstoppable. Naragh took his hand again, he wanted to avoid the contact but he could not. The old man gave him a somewhat sad smile “I can sense your anguish, your pain. We often lose those close to us, those we love. It doesn’t make things any easier but I guess it is even worse for your kin to lose a loved one. After all, you are immortal.”
He felt it push its way, breaking his barriers down like a battering ram. He could not stop it, it burst through like a flood. “She died, and I did not love her!”
He stared at the old man with huge eyes, where did that come from? Why had he just revealed something he never had told anyone? Something he had guarded deep within like some shameful wicked secret.
Naragh sighed, then he pulled his chair closer to the bed and those old eyes were filled with such wisdom and such gentleness. He suddenly realized that this mere mortal never would judge him, never regard him as a bad person until he was proven otherwise. “I think you’d better explain my friend. I think this is something that has been festering within you for quite a while. There is a reason behind your habit of drinking, there always is. “
Thranduil started to shiver again, he felt trapped and scared and ashamed, so ashamed. This was his worst fear, to be vulnerable and without his normal royal demeanor and arrogance. He was utterly helpless now, like a newborn and he closed his eyes and gasped. Tears were flowing and he suddenly relived everything once more. Naragh held his hand while he was telling the story of the woman he had wed but never truly opened his heart to.
He had been a very popular young ellon and he was rather popular among the ellith, so popular it became a problem. As a prince he could get whoever he wanted and he soon developed a habit of bedding different females each night. He never bothered to sleep with an elleth twice and even though he tried his best to give them pleasure in return for his own he never really cared. It was sort of a duty to prove that he was a good lover, but his heart wasn’t involved. He even got caught with married women a few times and his father had to clean up the mess he made and cover up the scandals. He knew that Oropher had paid some of the husbands rather well for their silence and discretion. He had been so careless back then, so free. He had the world in front of him and perhaps he had been both naïve and spoiled in some ways. He saw it as his right to do whatever he pleased to do and did not understand that his actions could have serious effects on others. He soon realized that many females tried to get into bed with him just because he was a prince, they hoped that he would fall for them and one day make them queen and he played with their plans and schemes while he was secretly disgusted by their advances. Oh he did desire them, he had strong urges like most young men and perhaps he was even a bit more hot blooded than most but it was all for the physical pleasure. He never shared his thoughts or his heart with anyone. Soon he no longer cared that much if they really agreed to bed him, he tried to have his way with a few ellith who didn’t want him and that was when his father had to intervene and stop him before he did something really stupid that would cost him both his honor and his life. He had started to despise women and at the same time covet them and that mixture was very dangerous.
He had been in utter shock when Oropher told him that he was going to be married, to the daughter of a rather prominent member of the elvish nobility. He had been furious, so enraged he had called his father terrible things but Oropher had never lost his temper, not even once. He had calmly told his son that this was something he could not talk or charm his way out of. And he also gave Thranduil a long and very serious lesson in what it meant to behave like a gentleman and what honor really was. He had opened his son’s eyes and made him realize what he really had been doing, and what he had become. Others were laughing behind his back, claiming that not even the stallions within the royal stable did as much mounting as him. He felt ashamed of himself, he saw how deeply he had hurt others and all just for the pleasure, and for the right to brag about his sexual conquests among the other ellon. He had become superficial, indifferent to the emotions of others.
His father did comfort him, and he was forgiven due to his young age but the wedding plans were not changed. He swore to himself that he would act like a prince should from that day on, he would not even look at another woman once he was married. And then the day came and he met his bride for the first time, arranged marriages weren’t really that usual among their kin but everybody knew that this alliance was needed and useful. He had been a bit confused by his own emotions by the sight of her, or rather, the lack thereof. She wasn’t plain, far from it, but he couldn’t see her as anything different than the other women he had been with. She on the other hand was in love with him, head over heels. He tried to be nice to her, tried to make her feel cared for and safe but he did not love her. Not even a bit.
Over time he got used to her presence, she was very quiet and yet she was a rather efficient person who made sure that everything within the household was perfect. She was really the perfect wife, hard-working, honest, humble and modest too. He should have been happy, everybody told him she was such a gem but he never saw her that way. At times he thought that he hated her, and that thought filled him with dread and shame.
Years passed by, he visited her bed on a regular basis and did his best to please her but he just wasn’t involved emotionally. She was just there, easily available and she always let him have it his way. She was hopelessly boring in bed and he started to regret his own promises. He had no respect for her, whatsoever.
And then many years after the wedding it happened, she came to him filled with joy and told him she was with child and the world changed forever within that second. He had not even thought about the possibility of a pregnancy since it never had happened before and he had bedded hundreds of ellith. He had been in utter shock and slowly and very reluctantly he had realized that it was time for him to grow up and act like an adult. He had started to like the idea of becoming a father, and slowly he forgot about his selfish ways and started to care more about the people around him. She went into labor early one morning in spring. And for the first time he saw her, really saw her for who she was and what she had been to him. He had been so unjust, so terrible towards her. She had dedicated her entire being and life to becoming a perfect spouse to him and he had never even cared, not even once. He had taken her for granted.
And when he held his son in his arms for the first time he knew that he had been a poor man until that moment, nothing could compare to this. He was happy for the first time in a long time and he know knew what it meant to truly love somebody more than yourself. He proved to be an extremely dedicated father and his own father was deeply relieved by the change in his son. Thranduil loved Legolas more than life itself and there wasn’t anything he would not do for his infant son. He was the most wonderful thing in the world and the entire kingdom saw his joy and shared it. And she did too, she was gleaming with joy and he tried to be more involving towards her. He tried to like her and at times he knew she was a friend, perhaps his very best friend even but he never saw her as more than that. And then it all changed and he was left a widower with a young son.
Naragh was watching the beautiful face, contorted by feelings long hidden and suppressed. “What happened?”
Thranduil was sobbing, he was left with his emotions open and raw like a wound and he could not control them. “I should have kept away from her, I should never have touched her again. I had an heir! It should have been enough!”
Naragh sighed. “But you could not right? Even with an heir you still had your urges?”
Thranduil closed his eyes and Naragh gently wiped away the tears that were flowing down into his long silky hair. This elf was incredibly beautiful on the outside but an emotional wreck!
“Yes, oh Gods I am so sorry!”
He gasped and wanted to hide, to sink into a deep black hole or something but something outside of himself compelled him to continue. “She did welcome me back into her bedchamber, but I don’t think she would have said no even if she was unwilling. And then she became pregnant again, we could hardly believe it. It was unheard of among our kin. Our son was less than a year old and she was already on her way with number two. “
Naragh had a strange almost melancholic look within his eyes, he already saw where this was heading. The elf gasped and his lower jaw shivered, he looked incredibly young where he lay but Naragh knew he probably had seen several millennia. Immortality had to be both a blessing and a curse. The old healer felt how his compassion made his heart swell, maybe this elven king had done stupid things in the past, maybe even things that were wicked or downright evil but right now he was wounded, hurting and vulnerable. He deserved respect and care, not condemnation. Thranduil felt his heart thundering within his chest, his body hurt like crazy but it felt right, he was rightfully being punished for his sins. He deserved it, every broken bone. He gasped for air and Naraghs hand was there again, stroking his brow with a wet cloth.
“When Legolas was born it went very well, she did not have to struggle a lot, it was an easy birth. We were both so excited, so happy! I guess I was too proud, too sure of the future. We had it all planned. “
Naragh had a strange grin upon his face, it looked bittersweet. “Fate will sometimes trick you, turn against you when you least of all expect it.”
Thranduil made a strange noise. “By the Valar it did, she was in such agony Naragh, she suffered! And it lasted for days, I could not believe it! And then she died a most horrible death and the last thing she told me was that she loved me, and I could not say those same words back to her, not without lying. She died unloved Naragh, with our unborn child. What fate could possibly be more cruel? It was my fault! I killed her!”
He was sobbing like a child now, shivering and completely out of control. Gone was his usual arrogance and cool personality.
Naragh sighed once more and petted him on his shoulder. “Thranduil, listen to me and listen to me well. Women do die in childbirths all the time, it is the most common death among females, it is sad but a fact. It is dangerous business bringing new life into the world, and I have seen it happen dozens of times.”
Thranduil looked at the old healer with a sad expression within his eyes, they were a bit bloodshot now. “Really?”
Naragh nodded. “Hell yes, it is always a tragedy and never anything else than terrible but I can tell you one thing for sure. Not one of those women I have tried to help and save has blamed their husbands for their sad end. Not one! They were all happy they carried a new life, and they accepted their fate.”
Thranduil could not look the old healer in the face, he felt so ashamed. “But, if we hadn’t…!”
Naragh was rolling his eyes. “You are a stubborn one aren’t you? When she found out she was pregnant, was she unhappy? Did she weep, blame you, curse you? Did she in any way indicate that she didn’t want that baby?”
Thranduil looked shocked. “No, she was overjoyed, we both were! She wept with joy”
Naragh nodded. “Of course she did, and I am sure she never even once felt regret, not even when she died. Women are so much stronger than men, we are just too arrogant and stupid to see it.”
The elf looked a bit confused but then he nodded. “You are right, they are. But if I only had loved her back the way she loved me…”
Naragh shook his head, he looked as if he really didn’t know whether he should scold the elf or cry with him. “My friend, I am sure she was aware of your feelings or lack thereof, women always are. Compared with females we males are emotionally crippled. But I am also bloody sure that she was happy just to be with you, to be your wife and the mother of your son. She loved you goddamn it. To a woman like her that would have been enough, she doesn’t seem to me like the kind of woman who demands anything from her spouse except from the privilege of being near him. You gave her a child Thranduil, and I am sure she was never so happy in her life as she was when she was with you. How can you blame yourself for that?”
The elf was staring at the old man with a strange expression upon his face. “I…I have never seen it like that before.”
Naragh grinned and wiped away more tears. “See? You have been punishing yourself for something which never was your fault. I think you acted very honorably, some men in your situation would have sought their pleasure elsewhere but you stayed true to her.”
Thranduil scoffed. “Of course, I would never dishonor her in such a manner!”
Naragh petted his shoulder gently. “Know what? I think you are a good man at the bottom, it just takes some digging to bring him out. Rest now, and contemplate what we just have discussed. I think you will see things from a new perspective from now on.”
He filled the cup with water again and the elf drank greedily. Naragh grinned to himself, the snowball had started rolling, only time would tell if they could unveil all of this poor man’s problems and rid him of them. There was yet much more hidden behind that perfect beauty, much much more. Thranduil felt tired to the very bone, it was uncomfortable to just lay there immovable but he fell asleep and Naragh tucked him inn. It would take weeks before he could move even a bit, he would be weak as a child for a long time. There would be time enough to unravel this mystery, more than enough time.
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Underneath alien skies