Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

An End and a Beginning	By : Evanscent Category: +Third Age > Het - Male/Female Views: 3733 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the realm of the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of Tolkien's works. I do not own the characters within this story. I do not make a profit from this posting.

Chapter List
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Tauriel’s nose wrinkled. The depths of the mountain reeked of dragon. It was an ashy, filthy smell, reminding her of the acid of death and the rotten decay of life.

Balin seemed unaffected. He had been staying within the walls of Erebor for weeks, though. Mayhaps he was used to it? The dwarf muttered to himself as he walked this way and that, weaving through tunnels and rooms. Occasionally they would back track or turn around as Balin seemed to have either changed his mind, or remembered something else.

“Thorin always complained about where the books were kept. Too close to the forges, he says. Damage the pages, aye! Moved them, we did! But I can’t seem to recall as to where… Ridiculous. Forgotten days. No one would ever attempt it again.”

The elf took it in stride, knowing she could not embark on her journey until she had a destination. Balin could give her that destination. She remained quiet, patient, and walked far enough behind him that she did not bump him or disrupt him while he made up his mind. She would make the very same journey as the dwarves of old and she would return Kili to his body. She needed Balin to tell her where.

Finally they made it to a series of room shared by one larger ceiling. The walls were full of shelves bursting with books and papers. Great piles of paper were precariously left at the ends of tables, shoved into corners and rested on benches. Everything looked incredibly unorganized. He began to shuffle papers and books, quickly assessing what was of import and what wasn’t.

“Wait, lass. Wait. Patience is a virtue,” he rumbled into his texts.

A pain expression fluttered over her countenance. Each day hurt more than the last, it felt. But she could wait. She could wait a life time if it meant she could try again. She stood stiffly, holding her elbows in her palms. She felt like she could feel herself age.

“Now what was it you were wanting? Where Durin the Deathless was risen from?” Balin’s pipe had found its way between his teeth, though no flame was lit.

She nodded impatiently, “Yes. They brought him back from somewhere. Where?”

Balin grumbled and remained fixed on his books. He moved from one table to the next. “And you’re thinking what, lass? That you can find Kili and bring him back? From the dead? You want to yank him from the next world?”

Tauriel closed her eyes. What was death to a dwarf? Are they in Heaven? In Hell? Do they feel pain? Longing? Does he still ache for her as she does for him? Or is he in bliss? Forgotten are his wounds, forgotten are his deeds undone. Would taking him away be cursing him all over again?

“I have to believe, Balin. I have to believe that he would want to be alive more than he would want to be dead. I believe he would want to be here. With you. With his king.” She paused and looked up, making certain her eyes were filled with the steel that shot through her, “With me. He was taken, he did not leave. He was stolen.”

“Dwarves are mortal. We do die.”

Tears trickled down her cheeks. “You think I do not know that, Balin? You think that I do not care that I will watch him grow old and weak? That I will care for him while he is infirm? I will bury him. I will watch him die. But he will die after we have lived. I will have given him all that I am and I will live knowing I shared something with him that I will never share again. I will live on and I will never forget.”

Balin nodded, his teeth working on his pipe before he moved to yet another piled table. “And you love him?”

Her tears dried as she smiled and laughed softly. “I do not know the name of the music that gives my heart life. I do not know if it is love that I felt each time I saw him, each time we were near, that made my skin feel as though I had swallowed the very moon.” She wiped at her eyes, her mouth turning down as she continued, “But I know that it is pain that I feel with his loss. That it is agony to think of living in this world without him. I know I feel as though I have my own daggers thrust into my breast. I know I long for what could never be. And I know now, that I am willing to give everything to feel like I felt before. If that is love, dwarf, yes, yes, I loved him.”

The grey bearded dwarf paused. He set the papers down and he moved before her. He reached out and pulled her hands into his. “I don’t know if you can bring him back, Tauriel. I don’t know if you’ll ever find what you’re looking for. But I believe you.”

She smiled, a bittersweet half-smile. “Thank you,” she sniffled.

“Now, lass, you must be off. You’re headed to that land beyond the sea after all.”

“Valinor?”

“Aye. Valinor is where the Valar dwell. There, you can find Alue southwest of the Pelori mountains. It is not known where the dwarves go… The Hall of Mandos is for men and elves. So you must ask Aule himself. Find him and find Kili.”

She nodded. She would leave Middle Earth. But she would return. She would return with Kili and bring him breath again.

“Go, lass! Not a moment to spare! He may be dead, but I’m sure he’s waiting for you!”

Tauriel galloped away from Erebor, her heart thudding in her chest. She beckoned her horse to pause over the three graves, three statues of the Sons of Durin gazed out at her. “I’m coming, Kili. I swear it.”
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An End and a Beginning