Path of Honor-Part II: Far From Home | By : IdrilsSecret Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 4869 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of its characters. I make no money in the writing of this story. |
Chapter 30 My Sanctuary
As promised, Tarchon returned to Lothlórien after making arrangements for the move, and settling any unfinished business in Mirkwood. I wasn’t sure what his plans were for living arrangements, but Haldir informed me that Tarchon was moving into his flet. I might have thought it a little fast moving for a new relationship, but I reminded myself that this was something that had started many years ago, and was on hold until now. Once Tarchon moved in, Haldir kept to himself to avoid judgmental stares or comments. I had heard the buzz around the city, mainly between military people. Some thought it strange that Haldir’s new caretaker moved into his house. A few made correct assumptions that Tarchon was his lover, but their claims were quickly objected; reason being that Haldir was paralyzed, most likely from the waist down. That was something I hadn’t thought of, nor would I ever discuss with my brother. It made me consider how much Tarchon must care about Haldir, if people’s whispers were true about his physical status. As I did whenever I questioned something about relationships, I put me and Legolas and myself in the same situation and compared. If something were to happen to Legolas and he couldn’t ‘perform’ it wouldn’t change how I felt about him, and it wouldn’t keep me from being a part of his life.
I had more time on my hands now. Sometimes I spent the day with Orophin, making his rounds with the troops. I helped him in his office every now and again. I even helped train a couple new recruits who had asked me to show them how to make the most out of bent arrows. I always told them that I wasn’t the best at that trick shot, and that I was taught by the best archer in Middle-earth. Of course, I would have to tell them the story of how Legolas challenged me to a competition, thinking I wouldn’t be able to duplicate the shot. It was always fun to tell the youth my stories, and even better to reminisce about days gone by. But as much fun as it was to remember, it was also disheartening. I missed Legolas terribly, and it was tearing me up inside. I began to question how we were going to make it work. Legolas was always so confident that it would right itself in the end, but this time was different. Gondor was so far away. Years could pass before we saw each other. It already felt like years, mainly because I still hadn’t heard from him.
It had been a few months since I wrote to him, telling him I couldn’t leave Lothlórien. I’d never heard anything in return, and wondered what had happened. I was afraid to write again. If I did and still didn’t receive correspondence from him I don’t think I could live with that.
“Rúmil, can we have a word with you?” Haldir said. I had been at my home, and my brother and Tarchon came for dinner. It was my turn to entertain. Orophin couldn’t come. He said something important had come up, and he couldn’t leave his office.
“Of course,” I answered, just having cleared the last dish from the table. I saw them go to the living room, so I poured all of us a glass of wine and brought them in. I smiled as I handed each their glass. “What is it?” I said as I sat down.
Haldir seemed hesitant, and he looked at Tarchon for courage to continue. Tarchon smiled sweetly and Haldir continued. “As you know, Tarchon and I are officially back together.”
“And I think it’s wonderful,” I said, my heart swelling with joy for my brother.
“I’d say we’re all in agreement there,” Tarchon said, at which point he and my brother gazed lovingly at one another. Tarchon gently touched Haldir’s face with the back of his fingers, and Haldir placed a hand on Tarchon’s knee before turning his attention back to me.
“I’ve never been one for long speeches, so I’ll just say it,” Haldir said and paused before continuing. “Rúmil … I have decided … Tarchon and I have decided … we are leaving Lothlórien to take up residence in Mithlond.”
My jaw fell open on its own. “Wh-what? You’re sailing? Already?”
“Well, no, not just yet, but we want to be close to the port when our time comes,” Haldir said.
“Both of you?” I said with shock. I looked at Tarchon. “You’ve heard the longing too?”
“No, but I go wherever your brother goes, and when he is ready, I’ll be by his side.” Tarchon looked at Haldir, leaning toward him slightly, smiling, and his eyes crinkling at the outer edges. “We’ll never be apart again.”
I was speechless, and I sat there silently while the news sunk in. “You haven’t been here that long. I thought you were beginning a new life with each other and taking it slow.”
“We are,” Haldir said. “But we are not new to this. What we share started a long time ago. It was put on hold for many years until we met again in Mirkwood. Even though it was a short time, we renewed our feelings for each other. And then I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. But you saw that, and it is because of you that we are here now.”
“But why can’t you renew your feelings in Lothlórien?” I asked. I felt like a small elfling needing an explanation from a parent.
“I think you know why,” Haldir said to me. “I know I am no longer a soldier, but there are those who still view me as such. I don’t really care what they think of me, and most are fine with it, but it is you and Orophin that I worry about. As long as I am here, I’m afraid my decisions will affect people’s outlooks on the two of you. You and Oro shouldn’t have to live with that kind of judgement.”
“You know we don’t care what others think. It’s none of their business anyway,” I argued.
“That isn’t the only reason,” Haldir went on. He glanced at Tarchon again. “I have learned that there is a very good chance that I will regain the use of my legs once I reach the distant shores.”
“How? Who told you this?” I asked curiously. I had never heard anything about such a thing before.
“I spoke with Lady Galadriel. She knows better than anyone the ways of the Valar,” Haldir said.
“Just so you know,” Tarchon added. “It makes no difference to me. I love your brother unconditionally, whether he walks again or not. But I know this is something he wants so very desperately, to be whole again.”
It was sinking in, and my heart was already weeping. “Hal,” I said in a desperate whisper. “Whatever will I do without my big brother around to keep me in check?”
“That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Haldir said with a smile. “I think … I think it is time you lived your own life. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but you shouldn’t have to be my keeper. There is someone out there who wants you with him as much as Tarchon and I need each other. It is time, little brother, to live the life that was always meant for you. Go to Legolas. Be with him. Don’t wait as long as Tarchon and I did. Don’t waste the years away wondering what might have been.”
“Move to Ithilien? I don’t know. Lothlórien is my home. I’m not sure I could leave it all behind,” I said. I had never lived anywhere else, and I so loved it here. The giant mallorns were such a comfort to me. And Orophin was still here. I wasn’t sure I could live away from him, especially if Haldir was gone. Oro was all the family I had left.
“What is there to stay here for? You won’t have to care for me anymore. And Orophin … he’s practically courting his lady. Remember, he told us when the war was over, he was going to settle down with her. That day is finally here. Lady Galadriel will leave soon, and if there was still a threat from the enemy, she would not abandon us. It is what the elves were meant to do. We are here only long enough to see the rule of man. With the rightful king on the throne in Gondor, the time of the elves draws to a close. Eventually we will all be sailing. You shouldn’t have to wait until that time to be with Legolas.”
He was right, of course, but I wouldn’t admit it. “I don’t know, Hal. Even if I left today, I’m afraid of what will happen when I meet Legolas again. I turned down his offer, and I still haven’t heard from him. I think he hates me now.” This was my biggest fear, and it was something that haunted me every day.
“There is only one way to know for sure. Go to him,” said Haldir. “If it wasn’t meant to be, you still have a home to return to.”
Go to Legolas. Go to Gondor. How? It was so far away. It would take a while to get there. I couldn’t take anyone with me. I wouldn’t want to, and that meant having to make the journey alone. It was a long way to travel alone. These were the things that raced through my mind as I considered my options. I glanced toward Tarchon, and he must have read my thoughts.
“You are right to be concerned about traveling so far on your own, but you don’t have to be. I happened to hear that there is a group of Mirkwood elves who will be making the journey, moving to Ithilien on a permanent basis. You could go with them. You just have to get to Mirkwood within the week before they head out.”
“Elves are leaving Mirkwood?” I asked.
“They aren’t ready to sail, and they long to explore their world. Most have never left the Rhovanion, yet they go for their Prince. He’s called upon his kinsmen to help with the rebuilding of Ithilien,” Tarchon informed.
I was actually contemplating this. There wasn’t much time for me to get my affairs in order and say my goodbyes. What would Orophin think … and my friends … and my troops. But they weren’t my troops anymore. They hadn’t been for a while. Could I do this? Could I actually leave Lothlórien, leave Orophin, and leave Haldir before he parted for Mithlond? I felt like I was being selfish and not thinking of others. I knew that wasn’t true, but I couldn’t help it. So much time had passed since I did anything for myself without fear of repercussions.
That was it! That’s what was making me hesitate. I had nothing to fear except for one thing, and that was my biggest fear of all. Legolas’ rejection. Hal was right, though. There was only one way to know for sure.
I nodded slowly as my mind was made before I could actually speak the words. “All right. I’ll go, but on one condition.”
“What is that?” Haldir asked.
“You will not move to the seaside until you hear from me. If I must make the return journey, I want to go with you to Mithlond.” I made this ultimatum as I spoke it aloud. I knew that if Legolas no longer wanted me, I couldn’t bear to live on these shores another day. I would rather sail and start a new life where nothing would remind me of him.
“Rúmil, there is still so much for you here to–”
“These are my conditions. Agree and I will go,” I demanded.
Haldir looked at Tarchon, who shrugged slightly. He knew he had no say in the matter. This was between me and my brother. He slowly turned his gaze, regarding me a moment, and then he agreed. “All right. We have an accord.”
I waited to see if he had anything to add, but when he didn’t, I nodded. “Good. Well, I should probably start a list of things I need to do before I go … not that there much to take care of.” I started pacing the room as my mind worked overtime. “There’s my flet, but I’ll leave that for Orophin to do with as he sees fit. Oh … Orophin. He’ll not be overjoyed by this. And my uniform, I’ll need to turn that in. I should have done so already, but I was finding it difficult to part with it. What else is there? Yes, yes, so much to do. I’ll be lucky to leave before the week is up. I have all this stuff to do something with. Should I pack all my belongings and have Orophin send them to Gondor? But what if it doesn’t work out and I come back? Perhaps I should just–”
“Orophin!” Haldir yelled, and I realized he’d been trying to get my attention since I mentioned making a list. “I think the best thing is for you to go to Mirkwood first. There is nothing here that Orophin and I cannot manage. Just take your most personal affects, and leave the rest. If you forget something, we’ll send it. The important thing is for you to get to Mirkwood before the elves leave for Ithilien. The rest we’ll figure out later.”
It calmed me instantly to hear my brother talk. He was always so confident. “Alright. I was only trying to make things easier for you and Oro.”
“Don’t worry about us, and don’t worry about your home. Do this for you and Legolas, and no one else. Find your destiny. Your past can be dealt with later,” he smiled. “But before you go, one final valedictory evening for the Lórien Three. Tomorrow, my home, you bring the wine … extra if you can spare.”
“I can do that,” I smiled back.
>>------->
I was almost there. The Rhovanion lay beneath my booted feet, and the palace was not much further. I had left my horse in the village of Arstad, just outside the forest, under the assumption that I would be passing that way with the group of elves leaving for Gondor. Then I would get her back and ride her to Ithilien. This time I made sure the inn keeper, who also owned the stables, would not try to sell her. I learned my lesson the first time I came here.
Once I broke the borders of Mirkwood, I was met by two sentries, who escorted me the rest of the way to the palace. They told me about the happenings in Mirkwood since I’d last been here. Apparently, Galadriel made an appearance here while on her way back from the Royal wedding. She met in private with King Thranduil and blessed the old forest with soil from Caras Galadhon. It was a special kind of soil that the mallorns were fond of, giving other plant life the ability to grow at a faster rate, and to keep them hearty and healthy. It was a cleansing of the sickness that spread throughout the Rhovanion. It would take time to heal, but the process would be much faster than normal. When I was told about this, I started to take notice of all the new growth around me. There was more green color than there had been last time I was here, though most of the trees were still bent and twisted from years of living in sickness.
The spiders were gone, for the most part. Any that were still roaming around did so in fear of the elves. Their extinction was inevitable. The last of the spiders were smaller than their cousins from the war, and their poison, though deadly to small forest creatures were not so with elves. I was relieved to hear this, and remembered Corweth and Messel showing me how to distract them using the orcs that would wander into the forest searching for elves to kill.
Before I knew it, I was standing before the palace doors. They opened for me as though I was an old friend. I guess in a way I was. It felt different being here this time. Legolas wasn’t here. He was a long way off, too far to think about. It was sad to think about it. I always did like coming here, but without Legolas, it was just another palace, a cave under a hill ruled by another arrogant king. I already counted the minutes until we departed for Gondor.
“Sweet Eru, they’ll let anyone in here now,” she called from across the way. I knew the voice as well as my own.
Slowly turning to face her, I gave her my most smug look. “Corweth, my love. Always a pleasant surprise to see you.”
She approached and circled me where I stood, looking me over from head to toe. “I see you made it in one piece. Guess there’s a first time for everything.”
“Placing you here as a greeter was very smart on their part. No one could ever sneak past you, and if they tried, they’d die from fright … or boredom.”
Her eyes turned to slits as she regarded me. “Rúmil,” she said, drawing my name out long as she judged me.
“Corweth,” I answered in a similar tone, and glared back at her. We tried to keep it up, but we were both hit with a fit of giggles at the same time. We went toward each other and grasped forearms like old friends.
“You still got it,” I complimented.
“And you still don’t,” she returned. We laughed. And then we hugged. “It’s been much too long. How have you been?”
“I’m good. And you, how are you getting along?”
“Oh, one day at a time,” she answered with only the slightest of grief lacing her words. I could tell she still missed her twin sister. That was something that would never go away, but at least she seemed to be dealing with it normally. “So, I heard you were coming, but I don’t know why. Business or pleasure?”
“Neither,” I said. “I … I’m going to Gondor with a group of your people.”
“Visiting the Prince?” she hinted with a sly smile.
“Yes … and no. I’m … uh … I’m … going to live there … hopefully.”
She looked shocked. “You’re leaving Lothlórien?”
I nodded my answer and looked to the side. “I don’t know how Legolas will receive me or if he will at all. He wrote me asking me to join him there, but I turned him down. I haven’t heard from him since. He might possibly want nothing to do with me, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take.”
“An enormous chance,” she said.
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” In a more serious tone, I whispered to her ear. “Have you … heard something?” I swallowed hard, but my mouth was dry.
Corweth shook her head. “Nothing,” she said tersely. No news was good news.
“Well, I could try to navigate the palace on my own, but I haven’t been here in a long time. So . . .”
It was her turn to roll her eyes and look irritated. “You’ll remember once you get walking.”
“In case you didn’t notice, I was asking for help from you,” I said. My arms were crossed, and my index finger started tapping on my forearm with impatience.
“Must you be escorted everywhere you go? Is this something all Lórien elves do or just you?” She walked past me leading the way. I stood a moment and looked around me, admiring my surroundings and the craftsmanship of this underground palace. Corweth called to me over her shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Before long we arrived at the guest quarters. I remembered this place very well. From here I knew where the healing hall was, and the throne room. “Will Thranduil want to see me?” I wondered. I wasn’t here on official business, but I was a guest.
“The king is not here at the moment. He off on a hunting trip,” Corweth informed me. “You know, spearing another boar to add to his collection of trophies.”
I forgot that the elves here not only hunted for food, but they liked to keep a souvenir of their more memorable kills. There were several furs and mounted heads around the palace. I never much cared for that, feeling it was, in a way, disrespecting the animal. However, it wasn’t my place to say anything.
“My apologies. I forget how sensitive you are to such matters,” Corweth said with brashness. She always did like to get beneath my skin. It was a normal exchange between us, one I had gotten used to. She went ahead of me into my room and retrieved a fur throw from the bed. “Wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” she said snidely. She left the room, but paused in the doorway. “I’ll have your meal sent to your room. I’m sure you are tired after your travels.”
“That would be much appreciated, as long as you’ll be the one serving me,” I said, keeping up the bander.
Corweth gave a haughty laugh, and pulled my door closed. But just before she pulled it all the way, she stopped and gave a genuine smile. “All kidding aside, it is good to have you back, Rúmil.”
“It’s good to be back,” I answered without jest. And then I remembered something I wanted to ask. “Corweth,” I said to keep her from leaving. “Are you going to Ithilien also?”
She gave a sigh, and her eyes turned to the ground. I could tell this was something she had given long hard thought to. “I think my place is here … for now anyway. I … I’m not ready to be far from my sister. I still visit her every day and place flowers on her tomb. If I wasn’t here to do that . . .” Her words trailed off and she glanced up at me. “It’s a twin thing.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Had I lost a brother, I think I might do the same thing,” I said with a smile. She smiled in return and left, and I said a quick and silent prayer for Messel.
I went to the bed and sat on the edge, looking around the room. The mention of Messel made me think of my own brothers. Was I doing the right thing by leaving them behind? I knew they would be find without me, but I would miss them terribly. We’d never been separated. Of course, things were changing. If and when Haldir sailed, we would be separated then too. I just chose to make the first move. At least I was still in Middle-earth. But then, one day we would all be together again in Valinor. That’s what we had to look forward to.
Here I was once more in Mirkwood, maybe for the last time for a long time, maybe for the last time ever. Lothlórien was behind me, and Gondor was ahead … very far ahead. Legolas was a mystery to me. I kept thinking about the absence of his correspondence to my last letter, and I feared for the worst. I know he told me multiple times that he would never let me go, but being away from each other for so long made it difficult to believe that. So I would go to Ithilien and let things play out. Either he would be happy to see me or he wouldn’t. I would stay in Gondor or I’d come back to Lothlórien. Not knowing was what was killing me. My head started hurting from overthinking it all, so I laid down and fell to my slumber. I’d wash up after the evening meal. For now, I just wanted to sleep.
>>------->
A knock at my door woke me up. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep. Damn this cave without windows to see where the sun was. As I silently complained to myself, I got up and went to the door. My meal had arrived, and the servant brought it in and set it on a table. He bowed with hand over heart.
“Anything else I can get you?” he asked.
“I’m sure this is fine. Thank you,” I said, and the young ellon left my room.
I was quite ravished by now, and I looked forward to what the evening meal was. I hoped for venison, my favorite, but any kind of meat would do. Roasted potatoes and carrots, and a bowl of hot stew would be just the thing to sate my appetite. I lifted the cover from the tray and found myself staring into a bowl of broth, vegetable from the looks of it. There was nothing else but a roll on the side, no venison, no roasted potatoes and carrots.
“There must be some mistake,” I said to myself. Now I wished I had made the servant stay until I looked at my tray. “Why would the kitchen send me simple broth when . . .” And then I realized who had ordered the meal sent to my room. “Damn you Corweth,” I said. “Always having the last word, or the last laugh in this situation.” This was due to my disagreement about their hunting traditions, I was sure. To teach me a lesson, Legolas had done something similar the first time I visited Mirkwood. He must have told Corweth the story, and now she was getting even for all of our little arguments.
I could have sent it back or sent for a real meal to be delivered. I could have just gone to the dining hall and joined the others, but I didn’t feel like interacting at the moment. Instead, I sat down and ate my broth, which was more like vegetable water. At least the roll was good, and it helped to put something solid in my stomach. When I was finished, I went to the bathing room and thought about a way to get even with Corweth.
After my bath, I went back to my room. Even though I slept earlier, it must not have been for very long. I was exhausted, so I turned in for the evening. It felt strange having nothing to do, and that added to my boredom. While in the bathing room, I overheard someone mention a poetry reading tonight. I probably should have gone, made myself be social, but I just wasn’t in the mood. Instead, I crawled into bed and settled in for the night. Tomorrow I would need to meet with the elf responsible for the group traveling to Gondor. Corweth told me where to go, but she forgot to give me a name. Oh well, I would figure it out in the morning.
Thirty minutes must have gone by, and I still couldn’t sleep. At first I thought it was because I was too tired. Then, I thought it was because I couldn’t shut my mind down. But when a loud grumble came from my stomach, I knew what the problem was. I was starving. “Great,” I complained and shook my head. Corweth was going to pay for this prank. I sat up and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. My stomach complained once more. There was no way possible I was going to get to sleep on an empty stomach. Lucky for me, I knew where to find a secret stash of food. I smiled deviously as I threw on my leggings beneath my sleep shirt, and slid my feet into my slippers. “Thought you got me, didn’t you,” I laughed to myself at Corweth’s expense.
The halls were fairly empty. Everyone must have been at the poetry reading. And with King Thranduil gone, there weren’t many rushing here and there to do his bidding. I snuck down to the kitchen, which was empty, and had a look around. Everything was still the same. Herbs were drying where they hung from the ceiling. Pots and pans were neatly stacked, ready for the morning crew to come in and make breakfast. The fire pit was cold, and a pile of wood sat next to it, ready to be lit tomorrow. I didn’t bother looking in any of the baskets on the work table. I knew they would be empty. Then I turned my attention to the shelves and looked up. It was still there, the basket that Legolas had told me about, where the cook would hide goodies for him when he was an elfling. I had always loved that story. It was the first time I saw Legolas for who he really was. As he explained how he would climb up and take fruit or rolls from the basket, I could just imagine it. He must have been a handful as a small elf child. Even now, the cook would leave something for him, but I wondered if she still did that. After all, Legolas was in Ithilien. There was no need to keep up this tradition. I was about to abandon my mission, but my stomach felt as though it was eating itself. I had to look, and hoped there would be something … anything in the basket.
The shelf seemed taller than I remembered. Either that or I was shrinking. My fingertips barely made contact with the basket. I was even standing on the overturned bucket that Legolas said he used to get up there. Perhaps the basket was pushed back further than normal. I stretched a little more, and felt the coolness of the air swirl around my midsection where my shirt had lifted above the waistband of my leggings. I almost had it, as my middle finger hooked the edge of the basket, but I was startled by a voice that came from the door way.
“Did you not find your meal enjoyable?”
My heart stopped at the familiar voice, but … it couldn’t be. I must have been dreaming. “It was lacking in sustenance,” I answered without turning around. I was sure I was hearing things. If I didn’t get an answer, I would know I’d been starved to the point of hallucination. My heart kick started, which made my breathing speed up as I waited for the words to be spoken. It might have been a long time since we found ourselves like this, but I remembered every word we said to each other that night so long ago. “Some venison or boar might have sufficed.” There was nothing but silence as I waited to hear him speak. Maybe I was still asleep and dreaming of finding food, reliving my past. But then, he spoke.
“Which do you prefer?” he asked.
I smiled and shook my head, trying very hard to contain my excitement. “I would take either, as long as it was served by the Prince.”
“Then you are in luck,” he said seductively.
Finally, I turned and there he was. “Legolas,” I said as I jumped down. I wanted to run to him, take him in my arms, and never let go, but I was uncertain of how things were between us. Instead I just stood there, breathing heavily, heart uncontrollably beating out of my chest. “Is it you?” I asked, afraid I was dreaming. “Are you really here?”
“I am,” he said, and he rushed toward me. I moved toward him too, and we crashed against one another, taking each other within our arms. He came to me, I thought. Things were not as I speculated.
“By the gods, Rúmil, I’ve missed you so much,” he said, and he started kissing the side of my neck.
“So, you’re not upset with me?” I asked, just to make sure.
Legolas pulled away and gazed into my eyes. “Upset? Why would you think that?”
“You never wrote back after I turned down your offer. I thought you were mad at me … or worse.”
Legolas cupped my face in his hands. “Is that what you thought? Oh Rúmil, no.” He bent to me, captured my lips and gently kissed me with sweet surrender.
I still wanted an answer and pulled away, but I smiled at him as I did. “Why did you not write back? It’s been weeks.”
“I received your letter just before I left Ithilien to travel back here. I’ve come to recruit more elves to come back with me so that I can grow our colony,” he explained. His hands rested upon my waist. Their warmth bled through my shirt, sending a reverberatory heat up and down my spine. “I didn’t write back because I wanted to … surprise you. I was going to come to Lothlórien and spend some time with you before I had to leave again. But here you are in Mirkwood. Why have you come? You did not know I would be here.”
“No, I didn’t. This is a complete surprise. I came here because I’ve decided to join you in Ithilien. I was coming to Gondor to surprise you.” As I thought about the turmoil I’d been in, and how silly it all seemed now, I started to laugh.
“But how did you know about the recruitment?” Legolas wondered.
“Tarchon,” I answered.
“Who is that?”
“He lived here for a long time, but now he’s back in Lothlórien. He is the mystery elf who Haldir would visit when he came to Mirkwood. It is a long story, and I’ll tell you another time, but he and my brother are together again. They are leaving Lothlórien to live in Mithlond until it is time to sail. My brother will answer the calling soon, and Tarchon will be with him.”
Legolas pulled me against him, and kissed my forehead. “Your commitment to your brother has ended.”
“Tarchon will take care of him now. Orophin stays. He will probably marry within the year. He is also the new March warden of the Northern Guard and commands my old troops. I left the army to devote myself to caring for Haldir. And the biggest surprise of all … Raenor made amends and swore to never meddle in my business or my personal life ever again.”
“You could have rejoined the army,” Legolas pointed out. “Why didn’t you? I thought that meant more to you than anything else.”
I brushed my finger down the side of his cheek, ending with a brush across his sumptuous lips. “You are the most important thing to me. I was stubborn, and it took me a while to figure it out, but I know it now. Legolas … ion nín, will you take me with you to Ithilien?”
He moved so our lips were only a hair’s width away from each other. “A million times yes. I’m never letting you go. You belong at my side until the end of time’s existence. I love you, Rúmil.” He kissed me, his tongue searching for entry. I accepted and melted within his arms.
We practically ran back to his room. We couldn’t wait to be together again. Before the door closed, we were stripping one another of our clothes. A few buttons popped, clinking on a table or the wall. The stitching in my leggings made a ripping sound when Legolas, desperate to get me free of them, pulled a little too hard. I didn’t care. All I wanted was to be ruled by my prince.
A trail of clothes led from the door to the bed, and we were falling into the sheets. Legolas hovered above me smiling deviously. Before he prepared us, he kissed every inch of me, starting at my neck and moving lower until he devoured me. I cried out as the heat of his mouth surrounded me. His tongue performed its magic, and I’d never known how much I missed this.
“Legolas,” I called out to him. “It’s been so long, it won’t take much, and I want you within me.” I had dreamt of the day we lay together again, and I didn’t want it to be over so quickly.
“And you shall have me, but let’s get rid of this built up tension first.” He continued his ministrations, and moments later he released me just in time to watch me spill onto my chest and stomach.
As I laid there, still reeling from my pleasure, he took himself in his hand and watched me recover. “That’s my job,” I said, and he moved to where I could reach him. We switched positions and I returned the favor he just paid to me. His fingers twisted in my hair, locking me in place while I sucked him into my mouth. I knew how he liked it, and when I felt his balls draw up and his cock become stiff and pulsing, I did not pull away. I took in every drop, moaning as he came. He cried out, a beautiful sound I hadn’t heard in such a long time. When I released him, I came up and laid at his side. I watched his body, still shivering with pleasure, his chest heaving for air, eyes closed and a smile upon his lips. He was gorgeous, masculine beauty, and he was all mine.
We laid next to each other as we let our bodies recharge, arms and legs entwined. Legolas was stroking my hair, and I traced the muscles of his arms and stomach with my finger. “I want to be like this every day in Ithilien,” he said to me.
“And so we shall,” I said. “To be as we were meant to be, nothing to hide, no holding back.”
“I cannot wait for you to see it,” he said excitedly. “There is a lot of work to do, but so much to work with. Already, the healing of the land has begun. Did you know that Lady Galadriel left a gift for the new elven colony?”
“No, I didn’t. What is it?” After Galadriel returned to Lothlórien, she was hardly seen or heard from. I figured she was preparing for her journey to the sea.
“Soil from your home, the same that the mallorns thrive in. Just a pinch, and the rate of new growth is extraordinary. We have been using it to grow new trees mainly. Some of it goes to heal the salvageable trees and plants. Some we were not able to save. Most of the structures were obliterated, although there are a few that we might be able to rebuild. The foundations are still intact. Unfortunately, any statues were destroyed beyond recognition. They are being taken down as we speak.”
“I cannot wait to see this place for myself, and help with the rebuilding,” I said, my imagination working hard to see it the way Legolas explained it. “Where will we live? Please don’t tell me you’re making Ithilien into an underground palace like your home in Mirkwood.” If that was the case, I would have to convince him to live in Minas Tirith. I couldn’t take living below ground.
He laughed. “You complain about this place?” he said, gesturing to his room.
“The whole point of ending the war and vanquishing evil was so that everyone could live open and free from confinement,” I reminded him.
“I don’t know,” he challenged. “I rather find these caves to be quite close and cozy, very private.” He draped his leg over mine and ground his hips against me. I could feel him becoming stiff.
“I would rather live in a flimsy tree hut made of paper than beneath the land like a mole,” I complained. “Come on, Legolas, please tell me we’ll be above ground.”
“A paper tree hut, hmm? Interesting, but what would the neighbors think having to listen to us calling out in passion every night, moaning, wailing, screaming each other’s names as we–”
I stopped him with a kiss that lasted until he forgot about his teasing. By now he was rock hard against my thigh. I released him and gazed into those beautiful blue depths. “I would rather the whole community know our most private and primal moments with each other than to live in a cave. And I can say that to mean the truth now, since there is no reason for me to hide my love for you any longer.”
Legolas moved, kneeling between my legs. His cock was hard, his eyes ablaze with need. He once again picked up the small bottle from where it lay hidden amongst the sheets, and prepared us. Then he lifted my legs and moved into position above me. “To hear you say that excites me to no end. We will walk hand in hand, and kiss beneath an arbor of roses. I will tell you how much I love you as I gaze into your eyes. Passerby will be jealous of our passion for one another, for ours will burn brighter than any star in the sky. You are no longer restrained.” He paused to let the thought sink further into the truth. “It is all I’ve ever wanted, and I cannot wait to share this new life with you.”
I pulled him down to me, and he entered slowly, experiencing each glorious moment as it came to us. He filled me and I moaned into his ear. “It will be a beautiful life. It has been since you came into it.”
As Legolas made love to me, he whispered in my ear. His honeyed words excited me, and had my body singing. I matched every one of his thrusts. His words turned to moans. The moans became louder, turning to wanton cries. We sang this ancient song together, calling out to each other without a care for anyone who might have heard us. And for the first time in my long life, I held nothing back. Even the times before when I thought I gave everything over, it hadn’t felt like this. No more hushed voices or looking over my shoulder. I was finally going to live out my life the way I always should have.
Legolas’ back curved with his last deep thrust and he held himself there, spilling within, filling me, touching me where I, too, screamed his name and spilled between us. I looked up to see the complete joy and satisfaction on his face. He smiled and laughed, then he looked down at me. His hair hung down like a curtain of honey. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He was flush from our exercise, and I’m sure I matched him in the same manner. “Ithilien might not want us if we are like this every night in our paper hut. No one will get any sleep.”
“Either that or there will be a population explosion,” I laughed.
He stayed inside me, and laid upon my chest. This was the time I loved most, and I was glad he was not a hurried lover. He buried his face in my neck and kissed me sweetly. “I have a surprise for you when we get there. Our real home will not be underground. That is all I will say for now.”
“Thank Eru,” I said relieved, and he laughed.
“You didn’t actually think I would stick us in a cave, did you?”
“Well–” I started to say, and my stomach complained loudly.
“You must be starving,” he said, and reluctantly got up. “I’ll go and bring us back something to eat.”
“I am quite hungry. I haven’t had a proper meal since I . . .” I stopped mid-sentence when something he said struck me funny. “How would you know I was hungry?”
He didn’t answer right away, as though searching for a believable answer. “You’re stomach growled. A-And you were in the kitchen looking for food.”
“Mm hmm, and how did you know to find me in the kitchen?” I asked accusingly. His mouth flopped open and closed like a fish, but he hadn’t an answer to my question. “You knew because you were the one who sent broth to my room. Legolas, did you know I was in Mirkwood?”
Never had I seen such a guilt ridden face in all my life. Of course I wasn’t mad, but I’d pretend to be just to see him squirm. This was a rare treat for me. Legolas was always in control, but not this time. “All right. I confess. I knew, but not for very long. I came home only two days ago. My father invited me hunting today, to celebrate my new accomplishment, and to spend some time together before I leave. When I came back, Corweth told me that you had arrived during my absence. It was my idea to … starve you so that you’d remember my hidden stash and go to the kitchen. I wanted to surprise you by going to Lothlórien, but instead I surprised you here.”
“Well,” I paused before saying anything more. He looked like a scolded child, and I couldn’t take much more. I smiled and tried to contain a laugh without success. “It was the best surprise ever.”
Legolas’ confidence returned as he took credit for his prank. “It was rather smart of me, wasn’t it?”
“Now go and bring me some real food. I’ll need energy if we are to break a record tonight.” That had him curious. I quirked a brow at him, and crinkled an eye. “Our record of … you know,” and I glanced down the length of my body then up at him. He got the message.
“Oh, then we will need lots of food,” he answered me continuing the jest. “What is our record, four times before sunrise?”
“Five if you count that one time when we . . .” I wiggled my eyebrows at him and pursed my lips.
“You are a fiend, Rúmil, but I’ll see your challenge and raise you one.” He didn’t bother dressing, just threw on his dark green robe with the gold embroidery and flew from the room.
I collapsed back into the pillows and threw my hands behind my head. This was pure and simple bliss, and it was just the beginning. We fell back into our routine as though we’d never been apart. I could hardly wait to start our lives in Ithilien. I didn’t care what was waiting for me there, as long as I had Legolas. That’s all that mattered to me.
While I was waiting for Legolas to return, I decided to write a quick note to Haldir, as I said I would. Legolas had a desk with a quill, ink and parchment. It wouldn’t take me long to write it. I got out of bed, reluctantly, and threw on my nightshirt. Then I had a seat and started the letter. I told him that all was well, and how Legolas was here in Mirkwood. We’d be leaving for Ithilien in a few days with a group of elves moving to the new colony. I told him I would miss him terribly, but that we would reunite in Valinor one day. I wondered how long he and Tarchon would reside in Mithlond. Knowing Haldir, he just might decide to stay there until me and Orophin were ready to part Middle-earth. One way or another we would be the Lórien Three again, and it would be a glorious day.
As I finished up the letter, folded it and got it ready to be sealed, I couldn’t help thinking about our early days as soldiers in Lothlórien’s army. My soldiering days were some of the best and some of the worst times in my life. I would not change a thing, even with all the turmoil it might have caused. There was more good than bad. It shaped me into the elf I was today. I might never have met Legolas had I not pursued a life with the army. But I paid my dues, and this was my reward, to live the rest of my days with the love of my life, to not hide from myself and just be. I had taken my soldiering career as far as I could. I’d walked the path of honor and proved to be a respected warrior. I gained the trust of my troops, and never led them astray. My successes made me proud of my past. Now, my future laid before me, and it was time to get to know myself as a civilian with a home, with someone to love, and a new country to call my own. The possibilities seemed endless. I was ready to take on each and every one of them, and with Legolas by my side I knew I could achieve anything.
Epilogue
“It is absolutely stunning,” I said as I gazed out over the vast land called Ithilien.
We were standing in the tower of an ancient castle that once belonged to the race of men. It was dilapidated, walls falling down and overgrown with plant life, but there were still parts that could be salvaged. Legolas mentioned before that he was rebuilding some of the ruins, and I figured this castle would be one of them.
The tower we stood in was in fairly decent shape. It was a brick, enclosed structure with tall slits for windows. This design allowed guards to keep watch over the land, and protected them from the sights of their enemies. The stone around one of the slim windows had crumbled away after years with no maintenance. Now there was a gaping hole, the bottom three feet of the wall all that was left of this section. Legolas and I agreed that we would have the tower, and any others like it, redesigned so that people could come up here and observe the beautiful grounds that surrounded this place. With the wider window, I could see for miles in any direction. I spotted several other places where buildings once stood, their foundations making empty spots within the thick forest. To the east were cliffs covered in spring green, and a waterfall that I couldn’t wait to explore. Legolas told me there was a crystal clear pool that it emptied into, where the water was rich with healing minerals.
To the west was another area of forest with tall trees big enough to support a tree colony. It was close to the river, and would make an excellent location for a new elvish settlement. I pointed in that direction. “Is that where we will live?” I asked.
“If that is what you wish,” Legolas answered. He stood behind me, the weight of him leaning against my back. I felt his hand move my long hair from my shoulder, exposing my neck where he laid delicate kisses.
“Is it considered regal enough for a Prince to dwell within the trees?” I asked, jesting. Only a few days ago, Legolas had been honored with the title of Prince of Ithilien. This was his land now, a gift from the King of Gondor, and his longtime friend, Aragorn.
“I would live under a rock if that was where you chose to live. It makes no difference to me. Prince is merely a title, and one I wish not to be known for.” Since the first day I met Legolas, he had refused to be call by his proper title.
After the coronation and before Legolas went back to Mirkwood one last time, Aragorn offered him all of Ithilien to rule. He would have been Lord of Ithilien. His friend thought it only right since Legolas was going to be living here and reconstructing the place. To my surprise, Legolas turned down the offer, choosing to remain known as a Prince. Prince of Ithilien, they started to call him, but he didn’t like the thought. The title of lord went to Faramir. Legolas said Ithilien belonged to the race of men, and should be ruled by one. He was still given a fairly large amount of land to the north, and was responsible for the rejuvenation of the gardens and forests, as well as some of the ruins that we now looked down upon.
“Are you ever sorry you turned down Aragorn’s offer?” I asked with curiosity.
“Absolutely not. I’m fine with what I’ve been given. I don’t need a title to go along with it. Besides, even if I took the title as lord, it would only have been temporary. Ithilien belongs to everyone.”
I leaned my head back, resting upon his shoulder. “I like that,” I said as an idea suddenly struck me. ‘You know, there is plenty of room to build a multitude of settlements here, ones that can accommodate elves, dwarves, and men. You could devote certain areas to each race, and build a commonplace where all could meet, shop, trade, and do whatever other kind of business there is. It could be a melting pot of people.” I spoke excitedly, imagining what it would look like.
“Interesting concept,” he said. I could tell he was actually contemplating my idea. “But do you really think they would live here in one place … together?”
“If there is anyone who can make that happen it is you. Look what you accomplished so far. And your friends could help recruit new residents. Gimli, Aragorn … all it would take was for them to spread the word about Ithilien’s diversity, and people would flock here.”
“You seem very sure of yourself,” he said, kissing my neck again.
I smiled to myself. “I am. I just think there shouldn’t be any more separatism. We all fought together for this earth. Together, we vanquished evil. We have proven that with our minds and hearts in the right place, we can all get along and live within the new peace that has washed over all the lands. Why not have a common ground? That’s how I see Ithilien. A meeting place and a home for all.”
Legolas turned me around so that we were facing each other. He gazed longingly into my eyes. “You never cease to amaze me. I think it is a wonderful idea. I’ll go over it with Aragorn, Gimli, and Lord Faramir. If they approve, we’ll start on it right away. You know, I’ve had scouts out mapping the land, marking the new landscape to help us determine what will go where. They came across a cave system over that way.” He pointed in the direction of Minas Tirith. “I believe it might have been used as a way for people to leave the city if there had been an unforeseen attack. The way has been closed off, but we could reopen it. Gimli could recruit the dwarves to make it into their home. There are no better masons than the dwarves.”
“That sounds like a good start.” I thought of the endless possibilities I had dreamt of before coming here. This was the first of many, and it was such a thrill to know it could become a reality. “So, before we left Mirkwood, you said you had a surprise for me. We’ve been here a few days and you have yet to tell me what it is.”
“Oh, you remember that, huh?” he said, trying to throw me off. It didn’t work.
“Come on, where’s my surprise,” I insisted.
“Well,” he said taking a step back and spreading his arms out to his sides. “You’re standing on it.”
I looked around me. “The tower?” I said with confusion.
“Not just the tower … this whole castle.” He looked so proud, but I still wasn’t sure what he was talking about.
“This place is deteriorating brick by brick,” I pointed out.
“It just needs some love and attention.”
I could see he was serious about this, so I stopped teasing and took a better look around. “You’re right. It has potential. So, what ideas do you have for this place?”
“Do you remember the old ruins in Mirkwood? I took you there once,” he said.
“I mostly remember how you took me. Why? Do you want to recreate that moment?” I was only partly joking. I would gladly let him take me if that’s where this was heading.
“And I thought I was the fiend,” he commented. “The old ruins, my grandfather’s throne room before the forest became sick,” he went on.
“Yes, I remember it well. You said people came from faraway lands to seek counsel with King Oropher.”
“They did,” he smiled as he remembered. “And they will here too. I am going to rebuild this castle, and with your idea of a common meeting place, this shall be it. I want it to be reminiscent of my grandfather’s halls. Just think, lavish celebrations with tables full of food. Grand masquerade balls where the guests must come in disguise. We’ll hold important council meetings here, and all the realm leaders will come and be a part of the decision making for whatever concerns are being addressed. And there will be living quarters and guest rooms, a large kitchen and dining hall, and most importantly, the best, most luxurious room with a breathtaking view of the valley. That will be ours. This place will be our home.”
“Our home,” I repeated aloud. “Ours. Yours and mine. A place to call our own. I never thought . . .” I was beginning to get choked up. It was a dream come true.
“Do you not like it? Would you rather live in a flet in the trees? I don’t mind if you do,” he said worriedly.
“No, oh … no. That’s not what I was … this is perfect,” I concluded. “Absolutely perfect. I love it. It’s not even built yet, and I love it.” I threw my arms around him and kissed him. “So that’s what you brought me up here for.”
His brow quirked deviously. “Well, if you still want to recreate–”
“You are incorrigible,” I said.
“It was your idea,” he reminded me. Slowly he drew me to him, our bodies crushing against one another. He pressed his lips against mine, and kissed me sweetly at first, then with more demand, sending blood rushing to the southern regions of my body. My hands found their way around his back, traveling lower until my palms were securely planted on his firm arse. I could tell he was as excited as I was. We would break ground in our own way, starting with the tower. And just when I didn’t think I could hold out any longer, he broke away. “Oh, there is another surprise.”
“Yes, you … me … naked … writhing against these tower walls. I get the surprise,” I said breathlessly, nipping at his neck between words.
Legolas held me back to gain my attention. “No, not that.”
I felt like the wind died from my sails, leaving me adrift upon an unsatisfying sea. “Oh,” I said with disappointment.
He smiled at me, enjoying this cruel game that I was not in the mood to play. “You’re cute when you are frustrated.”
“I’m more than frustrated, and in another moment you will find me anything but cute,” I scowled.
Legolas ignored my threat and looked out over the landscape. “If it to become a bustling city once more, it will need an army. There are still those who do not agree with the change of leadership, and they are not satisfied with peace. Gondor has an army, the largest in all the lands, and they would fight for Ithilien without a doubt. However, there has never been so great an army than that of the elves, especially the wood elves. We should have our own protection so that we aren’t so dependent on Minas Tirith. And, as you know, every army needs its March warden.” He put a firm hand upon my shoulder and smiled at me. “Rúmil, March warden of the Northern Ithilien guard. How does that sound?”
My jaw went slack and hung open. “Y-you want me to lead the entire army of Ithilien?”
Legolas looked left and then right, before his eyes settled on me again. “I see no one else here named Rúmil.”
“But I thought I was done with army life. I thought I had hung up my sword and stashed my bow. Isn’t that why we came here, so that we could live our lives without complication?” I countered.
Legolas bowed his head, a look of seriousness upon his handsome face. “I know how difficult it was for you to retire from Lothlórien’s army. Despite everything you have been through, and what we have seen and done, I know that deep down you are a soldier and you always will be. After I wrote, asking you to leave your home to come be with me, I felt guilty. I feared I was forcing you to make a decision, and that you would resent me for it. I don’t just want you to be happy here with me. I want you happy to be in Ithilien, and I know you are never happier than when you are soldiering. And this will be your army. You are in charge. You have the last say.” He was encouraging me with promises of free range over my troops, something I’d never experienced before.
“I … I don’t know what to say.” I turned to look out over the forests and gardens, the ruins and temporary housing. My head was spinning with all the things I would need to do to build an army, but there was one thing I knew for sure, something I’d always wished for, but knew it could never be in Lothlórien. “We won’t just be an army of elves. Humans, Dwarves, and any other races willing to fight for Ithilien will be allowed to join. And not just the males of their races. It will be open to women, too. Some of the toughest fighters in Mirkwood are women. But my main rule, first and foremost will be no restrictions with sexual preferences. Who one loves has nothing to do with how well they fight.” I paused and winked at Legolas before continuing with the ideas just bursting from my brain. “Oh! … and we’ll have to design uniforms, but not the armor like Lothlórien uses. I want it free flowing like the wood elves, though I think I will require thick leather in more vulnerable areas of the body. The training grounds could go over there,” I pointed. “And barracks … come to think of it, perhaps we won’t need barracks. No barracks. Soldiers will go home to their families and loved ones at the end of the day.” I rambled on, wishing I had someone jotting down notes so that I would remember for later. I was so distracted by my thoughts, I didn’t notice that Legolas had taken me in his arms and was grinding against my backside.
“Rúmil, you must slow down. We are nowhere near that stage of development yet. First we must have homes and communities for the people who come here. And the palace reconstruction must be underway because–”
I turned in his arms and captured his mouth with a very sultry kiss. “As my first order of business, and as the newly recruited March warden of Northern Ithilien, I order you. . .” I paused and reached for the laces of his leggings, untying them. “. . . naked at this very moment.”
We wasted no time, and like two youths fumbling with ties and buttons, we quickly undressed one another. Legolas walked me backwards until my back was against the part of the tower where the stone wall still stood. He ravaged my neck while his hands roamed over my body. Our cocks pressed together, and we were flesh to flesh. I brought one leg up and anchored it around his hip. Legolas proceeded to fondle me after seductively licking not one, but two fingers, and prepared me for what was to happen in the next few moments.
“I want you now,” I breathed with hot breath into his ear.
“I’ve a blanket and oil in my bag,” he said into my neck. I could feel his mouth curved into a smile. “I had a feeling I knew where this would lead.”
“Then you better hurry,” I said, and he abandoned me to prepare the ground with the blanket. He tossed the small bottle of oil to me. Luckily, I was paying attention and caught it before it fell on the ground and shattered.
In the next moment, he was pulling me to the blanket, lowering me to the ground, and hovering above me. I wiggled the little bottle between my forefinger and thumb. He snatched it, pulled the cork and poured a small amount into his palm. It smelled of herbs and spices, a masculine musky scent that heightened my need.
“This is a very special blend, made to entice the senses,” he said.
“Well, it’s working,” I said as he prepared us.
As we made love all I could think of was how lucky I was to have all of this, but the only thing that really mattered to me was Legolas. None of this was important except having him by my side. I was so madly in love with him, and I would follow him anywhere. I realized that now. I’d been fooling myself to think I could have stayed in Lothlórien while he was here building a future.
“Feels so good,” I whispered breathlessly as I was about to spend myself. He was pumping fast and hard, our bodies becoming one.
“Yes … Rumil,” he cried as he spilled. When he was spent, he collapsed on top of me, heavily out of breath, sweat glistening on his body from the exertion of our love making.
I wrapped my arms around his back, caressed him, and urged him not to move just yet. It was the most wonderful feeling to have him inside me, pulsating with the last vestiges of his orgasm. This time we’d been needy and came quickly, but there would be another session when we were recovered, when we would take it slow, and it would last excruciatingly long. When we couldn’t take another moment, we would come together, and it would feel like a never ending wave of ecstasy rippling from my loins outwards to my fingers and toes. Thinking about it, I almost couldn’t wait, but I somehow managed to drift into a light sleep. I must have spent more energy this first time than I realized. But with one final thought, I knew it was because I was carefree, relaxed, and hadn’t a worry in the world. I was going to like this new life here in Ithilien.
>>------->
I wasn’t sure how long I was out, but when I awoke, Legolas was standing at the open section of the tower. He wore only his leggings, and was bare chested and barefooted. I admired his archer’s body from where I laid. He still held that air of royalty about him, born with it so that it would never falter. He looked so serene, so peaceful. I propped myself up on my elbow and just watched him, hoping he would not sense my obvious gawking.
There was something familiar about look settled upon his face. He wasn’t looking at the landscape. He was gazing much, much further than Ithilien, past the Sphere of the earth to the Undying Lands. I’d seen Haldir in the same state before. It was the sea longing, something I often wondered about. The breeze lifted a few tendrils of his golden hair, and he gave a slight smile, as though the wind caressed his face like a lover. An odd jolt of jealousy made my face heat with anger. It felt strange to be jealous of a place, but I knew this was the only thing that could take Legolas from me. Sometimes I worried his need to sail would take him away before I even felt the first stirrings of it. I didn’t know much about it, but I’d heard rumors of an elf who sailed with her lover before she had been ready to leave Middle-earth. It’s said that she constantly felt torn in two, as though she still had a link to this land. She never rested comfortably, never experienced the longing, and therefore never completely left Middle-earth. She was a restless soul. I didn’t know how much truth there was to that tale, but I didn’t want to find out.
I had asked Haldir about his longing, but he didn’t explain it very well. Of course, his urge was greater than Legolas’, and for a much different reason. I hadn’t had the opportunity to interrogate Legolas about it. Now seemed as good a time as any. Reluctantly, I broke the silence and drew him back to me.
“Is it a difficult thing, the sea longing?” I asked curiously.
Without taking his eyes off the distance, he answered me. “It’s very peaceful.”
“There is no pain?”
“Not at all. It’s not like that. It is calming and soothing, and much more pleasurable here where I’m near the river. Sometimes I want to sink in the sounds of the waves, or drift up into the air like the gulls. When I allow my mind the freedom, I can accomplish that. It does not rule me. It’s just … something I need to experience from time to time to know that it’s still there.”
“Will it … take you one day? I mean, will it eventually become too difficult not to heed its calling?”
He finally turned around and looked at me. “There is nothing to worry about. I’m not going anywhere, not without you. It’s just that … every so often I like to be absorbed into it. It is a difficult feeling to explain.” He walked back to where I laid on the stone ground, a blanket beneath me, which Legolas so thoughtfully brought in his pack. He sat down next to me and wrapped a strand of my hair around his finger. “But your love is the only place that I drown within. I don’t want you to be concerned about this. You know I would never sail without you, right?”
“I didn’t think you would, but it’s nice to hear you say it,” I admitted.
He kissed my cheek. “I would not go before you were ready, so there’s no need to fret. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. I hope you don’t mind being around me all the time.”
I thought that was an odd thing to say. “Certainly not. We’ve spent far too much time apart as it is.”
“Good, because not only will the castle be our home, but also your office … if you really don’t mind,” he added as an afterthought. His mood changed from the distance between us to a lighthearted conversation. But then, Legolas was always able to switch moods with a snap of the fingers.
“My office,” I repeated. I hadn’t thought of it yet. “That will be in the palace too?” I said excitedly.
“Of course. You did say that the soldiers would go home to their families every night. You didn’t think I’d let you work far from home, did you?” He smiled and took my hand. “I don’t want you any further from me than I must allow.” He turned his head from me and became silent. I wasn’t sure what he was about just then, behaving differently from moment to moment. Perhaps he thought he was being too pushing, dominating the plans for our future. I didn’t mind one bit. I was glad he already had ideas in place. It meant we could get to work sooner.
“I love the idea of my office being in the castle,” I said so he wouldn’t fret. “I want to be close to you as often as possible too.”
“I’m glad to hear you say this since … well … you know … you know how . . .” His words trailed off as he became increasingly distracted. I felt a nervous vibe come from him, and I didn’t know what was wrong.
“Legolas?” I started to ask him what was happening, but he stopped me by putting his hand up in front of me.
He took a deep breath and faced me again. “I was trying to be witty, but the moment has escaped me. For the first time in my life, words have failed me.”
“Are you feeling all right?” I asked out of concern. He was definitely not being himself.
“I’m fine. More than that, I am ecstatic, and … maybe a little nervous.” As he spoke, he moved from my side and took a knee at the foot of our makeshift bed. “I want you with me not for selfish reasons, but … because the burden of estrangement can be quite painful.” He stopped and reached out, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Especially for a newly bound couple.”
My heart skipped every third beat. My mouth went dry. But the lump in my throat was making tears begin to well up in my eyes. “Bound?” I said to make sure he used the right term.
He put a hand over his heart, and bowed his head, moving slow and deliberately. “You know you already have my heart. And my soul is yours as well. But now I wish to give you my life.” He lifted his head, batting his eyelashes, and captured me with his bright blue eyes. I was paralyzed by his gaze. I didn’t move or speak, and I think I forgot to breath. “Rúmil,” he continued. “Beneath the eyes of the Valar, and of all that is good on this earth, I would be honored to officially call you my bond mate. Will you marry me, and share eternity together?”
“I … I . . .” Words would not form on my lips. I’d dreamt of this day, but never thought it could become reality. I wasn’t even sure we could ‘officially’ do this. But one thing was for sure. Legolas was the only one I wanted to spend my life with.
“It’s not often I catch you at a loss for words,” he said with a smile. I could tell he was still nervous to know my answer.
“It’s not often I am proposed to. Can we do this? Can we … really … do this?” The moment was surreal, and I needed to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t asleep.
“We can do whatever we like. Here, we make the rules. No more hiding. No more looking over your shoulder. There is nothing and no one to hold us back. I love you, and I want you, completely. I want everyone to know how much I love you. I want everyone to know you are mine and I am yours. Nothing can ever come between us again. Please, say yes, Rúmil.”
I didn’t need any more convincing. I didn’t need to think about it any longer. I had dreamt it so many times, and though the circumstances were difficult, the answer had always been an easy one. I’d made my mind up a long time ago that if I was ever presented with this moment I would not hesitate.
“Yes,” I answered. “Yes, yes, yes.”
He laughed. “Are you sure?” he jested. “Because you seem slightly indecisive.”
He took my hands, and I pulled him to me, catching him off guard. He fell on top of me where I laid beneath the blanket. I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and holding on for dear life. “Does that satisfy your uncertainty?”
Legolas gazed into my eyes and all the way to my soul. “I love you so much.”
“And I love you too, iaun nín … my sanctuary.”
***The End***
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