Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Mary Goes to Mirkwood	By : aseltym Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > Het - Male/Female Views: 3181 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 33
- 34
- 35
Mary Goes to Mirkwood

Chapter 35

By: Mary A, Malinorne, and Sheraiah

Warning: Naughty desk behavior, nudity, juvenile pranks, and sassy back talk.

Summary: Mary, Mal, and Sheraiah continue to make merry in the halls of Mirkwood with all the pretty elves and a dwarf. Thaladir returns.

(see previous chapters for disclaimer. Thaladir and Helca are our own creations. Please do not borrow them without asking for permission.)

Our story has been nominated for an MPA: Best Mary Sue Category
if you like it, please do consider voting for us at:
w w w.elvenlords.net/MPA/mpa.htm
(you will have to remove spaces between the Ws/copy and paste into browser)
~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

I felt calm and refreshed after my very satisfying walk among the beech-trees, and also more than a little drowsy. It was tempting to go straight to bed and try to re-live the naughty encounter with Thranduil, but I decided to do that in his bath-chamber instead.

The room was empty and the soft clucking noise of running water was a perfect background to my day-dreaming. I soaked in the warmest of the pools, floating, letting the water gently lap at my skin, and hoped that maybe His Majesty would feel the need for a bath. After all, state affairs could be dirty business.

But alas, no elf-king with skin coppery in the torchlight appeared, and I realised I had to accept the fact that he would not join me here today, at least not before the skin on my fingers would look like raisins. I guess that could be exotic for an elf, but had no wish to find out, so I took a few strokes in the larger pool and then made myself ready to go.

Lost again in my pleasant thoughts, I barely noticed the silent sentinels I passed in the winding corridors, but a mysterious hobbling and panting sound caught my attention. The noise came from some stairs I had not explored before, and soon Gimli came into my view. The dwarf seemed happy to see me, but it took quite some huffing and puffing before he could talk.

"Lass," he finally said between pants, "those laddies down there could need some help, if yer willing to bang some wits into their fairy heads."

"Who is where?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

"The twins," the dwarf explained. He breathed more easily now, but the thought of the half-elves seemed to upset him again and he sputtered, red in the face. "Drunk. Wouldn't have stood a chance against the ale back in Khazad-Dum." That thought made him laugh, and then he grew serious. "Your friend, Mary, said... well, ahem..." He looked away for a moment as if mentioning her made him uneasy, and then stared me right in the face. "Methinks the lass wasn't telling the truth!" he blurted out.

Poor Gimli! He seemed so embarrassed for telling me something that was hardly news. He looked so ashamed I had to control my impulse to pat his cheek. Somehow I doubted that would fall within the frames of courteous conversation with a dwarf. "May your beard grow long," I said instead. "I don't doub. Wh. Where is she now?"

Gimli related to me the story about how the search for the dungeons had led to the wine cellar, and a rescue attempt, and very drunk half-elves, and, at last, to Mary and Sheraiah leaving in search of a key that I was fairly convinced did not exist. That was all well, but I felt sorry for Elladan and Elrohir. Someone needed to take care of them, speak to them and make them come back to the upper levels before an accident happened.

"Will you lead the way?" I asked the dwarf, who did not look at all happy at the thought of climbing all those stairs again. While he hesitated, a tall shape glided from the shadows around the corner.

"I will," a smooth voice said. Haldir. I don't know who of us was the happiest to see him. I had no doubt the twins would behave reasonably gentlemanly even in their inebriated state, but it felt good to have an elf around in case they would object to finding their senses. I had already decided not to make Gimli follow me, and he looked relieved at not having to make a decision.

The March Warden took a torch and passed me with a haughty glance that made my knees weak. I said good-bye to the dwarf and then followed the elf carrying the torch. I could not keep my eyes on Haldir no matter how much I wanted to, because the stairs were winding steadily down, turning this way and that, and not all steps were even.

Because I concentrated so much on my feet, I didn't notice when he stopped, and bumped into his back. Not an unpleasant experience, but rather embarrassing. He didn't make it easier either, with his carefully articulated moan as our bodies met. I backed off in an instant and was rewarded with a mischievously sultry look from his grey eyes that made me blush and forget for an instant what we were supposed to do.

I was rescued by the sound of a silly, wordless song and peeling laughter as Haldir opened the door. He stood aside and I cautiously entered king Thranduil's famous wine cellar. The chamber would have been impressive if it had not been for the happily singing elves sitting on the floor. They appeared so carefree it was almost a pity to disturb them; all thoughts of keys and rescuing must long ago have left their minds.

Two pairs of grey eyes did their best to zoom in at me as soon as I crossed the threshold, but only one of the Peredhil seemed to succeed. He scrambled to his feet on wobbly legs and made a futile attempt to drag his brother with him by lifting him by the hair. "You'll excush Elladan," he said with a bow that nearly made him tip over, "he sheems to've forgotten his manners."

I had to laugh at them. I seldom drink, and drunk people tend to only make me sad or disgusted, but the inebriated twins were endearing in their attempts of polite conversation. Elrohir had sat back on the floor, which was probably the safest, and Elladan had remembered his manners again, as he was now kissing my hand with a fervour. I turned my head to look at Haldir, who was standing calmly at the far wall, seeming to gain immense pleasure from watching his friends' silly behaviour. I managed to free my hands from Elladan's eager lips, and heard the sound of something being poured from a casket

"Would my lady care for a sip?" Haldir held out one of the wine bowls in an elegant manner that made the twins poke each other's sides, giggling. When I didn't reply immediately, he lifted the bowl to his lips, drank with obvious pleasure and stretched it to me again. I was very tempted to accept, but then I thought of the possible outcome of touching a drink that strong.

I imagined an official looking herald reading from a scroll: "Royal squirrel-raised concubine neglects duties for drinking-orgy in cave". No thanks. The silly song we heard in Esgaroth was more publicity that I have ever wanted, and news like that would make Thaladir's hair grey. That would be a pity on such a handsome and noble elf. I politely declined the drink and Haldir drained the bowl himself.

However, I never even got to suggesting to the twins that they should come with us, as they soon passed out, after waving 'goodbye' and looking at me again through half-closed eyelids. I patted Elladan's hair and sighed. These pretty elf-boys seemed a hopeless case at the moment.

We left the sleeping twins, and Haldir promised me he would go there later with Legolas and some other elves to fetch them. After all, his friends would be sorry enough in the morning without having to wake up on a cold stone floor with wine barrels everywhere they looked. That was true, but perhaps it would have been an educating experience. It was good for them that Thaladir wasn't around, even though he was bound to be familiar with their behaviour from his exchange of information on court affairs with Erestor. Their communication probably held at least as much gossip as reports on orcs.

When we came up from the lower levels, the March Warden continued to lead the way and I followed him without much thought of where we were going. I thought about the twins, and Mary, and Sheraiah, and wondered why they had ended up he whe wine-cellar in the first place. It's not like you can get lost in a place full with sentinels to ask. Haldir's hand on my arm broke the line of thoughts and I looked questioningly at him. Why had he stopped now?

Smiling, he put the torch in a holder and turned to me. "Our ways part here, for the moment," he declared, "as it would ill serve my errand otherwise. I hope the old king will be suitably grateful for my delivering you at his door." I looked around and realised that we were standing outside Thranduil's private rooms. Haldir for sure wasn't shy!

He proved it by backing me up against the wall and catching my lips in a kiss that seemed to never end. Our tongues played and warred with each other, and I was lost in the elf's embrace until I sensed another presence nearby. The king! I opened my eyes in shock, but Haldir took his time to finish the kiss before he acknowledged Thranduil.

"Ah," he said to the king, seemingly not at all disturbed by the interruption. "Allow me to hand over your concubine, Majesty. I trust that you will find her suitably warmed up."

~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah~

I met Mary in the hall and after she finished chuckling at my plot bunny t-shirt, we made our way to the largest of the kitchens to carry out our anti-revenge plans for the twins, conversing all the way.

Mary and I shared laughs at the twins' expense remembering what we had done to them as she began grinding coffee, which smelled wonderful, and I began putting together the ingredients for my 'Killer Pancakes' as the twins called them. A helpful elf had already gotten the wood burning stove ready for me, so I started preparing the batter. I measured a small amount of vinegar and poured it into the pitcher of milk that I suspected had not come from a cow, to curdle it before sifting my dry ingredients together. Rather than grossing me out, that intrigued me. I was adventuresome in my culinary tastes and after trying cow tongue and armadillo, milk from animals other than cows didn't faze me.

Gimli had been a partner to our crime, albeit in a more minor role, and while we recalled his part Mary made mention of the dwarves at the wedding in Dale. It reminded me of her story about Lord Bard's 'examination' from the night before. I told her at the time that, no matter what he had thought, it didn't excuse his octopus imitation, and that I believed he was a dirty dog because of it.

Returning my thoughts to the pranks, I could not help but picture Haldir guarding the door in my mind's eye. I fondly remembered his part in the incident.

"You need not be concerned about any further rescue attempts this night, Mary. Elladan and Elrohir are...indisposed, likely until sometime tomorrow," Haldir had said, after he came to Mary's room the night before, amusement dripping off his every word. Gimli, who had beat him there, and had told us about the twin sots, guffawed.

"That's one way to put it. Lass, in other words, they're passed out cold on the cellar floor," the dwarf said plainly, chuckling. A sudden and very evil idea began to form in my twisted brain at that point and I turned to Mary with a wicked grin.

"You know, Mary, I packed my eyeliner and my lip pencil," I said, my tone all false innocence. Her eyes lit up and I knew she and I were on the same wavelength.

"Let's go," she said. We started off, Haldir and Gimli trailing behind us. Gimli knew the way my mind worked well enough by that point that I was sure he had a pretty good idea what I was up to. I'm not sure what Haldir thought, but he stuck with us.

I ducked into my room and rummaged in my bag until I found the pencils. I could hear Legolas moving something in his sitting room, which was rather odd since he usually didn't make any noise to speak of, but I was on a mission and ducked back out again before he could cross through the bathing room into my room. I rejoined my co-conspirators and held up the items with another evil grin. tur turned to Haldir and told him to show us where the twins were.

Haldir went first, bearing the torch. Mary and I followed, giggling as we whispered back and forth, plotting. Gimli brought up the rear. When we reached the cellar, we saw the twins sprawled out on the floor of the wine-cellar. Mary and I grinned at each other like juvenile delinquents and I handed her the lip pencil. Haldir, by unspoken agreement, moved to guard the door. None of us wanted to get caught by Legolas.

"Which one do you want first?" I asked Mary.

"Elladan," she replied firmly and started toward him. I knelt by Elrohir, contemplating his face for a moment.

"I have an idea," I said, laying a hand on Mary's wrist. Leaning over, I uncapped the eyeliner and carefully wrote across Elrohir's forehead. I then reached over and scrawled on Elladan's.

"Orc 1 and Orc 2?" Mary broke into a fit of giggles. "Thank goodness! Now we can finally tell them apart, good thinking!" she cried.

"Your turn." I said with a grin. She held out her hand for the eyeliner and I handed it over silently. In a few seconds, Elladan sported a mustache and goatee. It was my turn to giggle and I moved back to allow her room to work on Elrohir. I watched her complete the matching work on the younger twin and commented.

"You know, it's just a pity that no one else is going to see this. As soon as they see each other, they'll go wash it off. I wish I had a camera!" I grinned at Mary again and behind us Gimli cleared his throat.

"Well, I could help with that," he said, moving forward. He rolled the snoring twins onto their sides, facing away from each other, and knelt between them, hands moving. His body obscured our view of his actions. As soon as he stood back up, Mary and I howled with laughter.

"Priceless! Absolutely priceless, Gimli! Hey, I have one more idea." I grabbed the eyeliner and used it one more time on each twin. "Okay, let's go before we get busted."

We left the cellar and went back up, parting company in the hall outside Mary's room. I went back to my room, but had barely gotten inside when Legolas walked in from the bathing room.

"What have you been up to, lovely lady?" he asked with an arched brow.

"Legolas, trust me when I tell you that you really don't want to know," I said solemnly, as innocent an expression on my face as I could muster.

"Very well, I shall remain blissfully ignorant of your misdeeds." He held out his hand to me. "Come, I have something to show you." I took his hand and allowed him to lead me through the bathing chamber into his sitting room.

In the kitchen, now that it was day and the distractions of the night before had been removed, I remembered that Legolas had mentioned that his father wanted to talk to me in private. I was very nervous about it, and said as much to Mary. She reassured me that Thranduil wasn't an ogre, but that really wasn't what I was worried about. I knew he wasn't an ogre. I was just afraid of acting like a complete dork in front of the elf that I had admired longer than I had even Legolas, albeit in a different way. I just knew that I was going to make a fool of myself.

Mirime arrived to inform us that the rest of the royal party had returned from Esgaroth. Mary hurried off to change into a gown and, after setting the milk aside in a cool spot and covering both it and the sifted dry ingredients, I left to wash the flour off and change clothing. Legolas appeared and sweet talked me into wearing a gown, and then helped me into it since Mirime was helping Mary. I got the impression that impressing his father's seneschal was almost as important to the prince as impressing his father had been.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary~

Both Sheraiah and I had asked Mirime to wake us up early the next day. Not stupefying early, like when the king usually arose to go out hunting, but at least before breakfast was formally served. The elleth presented me with what she undoubtedly thought was a suitable gown, but I waved it off. Until Thaladir came within view of the gate, I was keeping my leggings on. I had a lot of running around to do that day, and those long skirts slow me down.

After Sheraiah met me in the hallway, we went over our plans to fix a special breakfast just for Elladan and Elrohir. We felt it was the least we could do to make amends, and the price we gladly paid for the amusement we had at their expense the night before.

Sheraiah and I had just finished saying goodnight to one another when there was a knock at my door. Gimli had shown up to let me know that I was out of danger from any further rescue attempts; the twins were unable to rise up off of the floor in the wine cellar. After he told us about Mal and her Galadhrim companion going off to see to them, Haldir himself came strolling along and told us what he and the king's concubine had witnessed.

"Let's go! Show the way!" I ordered them both. And, after a stop at Sheraiah's room for some necessary items, we had the tall March Warden going before us with a torch, while a grumbling Gimli brought up the rear with another one. Elladan and Elrohir were completely unconscious, and had not felt a thing we had done to them. We had Haldir keep an eye out for Legolas, who would have had to report us if he found out what we were doing, and dwarf gave us some valuable assistance with our treatment of the drunken would-be rescuers.

"It's a good thing Gimli came along," I said. "I always knew elves could braid hair, but I never thought about dwarves."

"It's their beards they care about," Sheraiah drew her hand down her chin as if she was petting a luxurious growth of facial hair. "They can get quite creative, I hear."

"You know, come to think of it," I remembered out loud, "I saw some pretty fancy braided dwarf-beards at that wedding at Lord Bard's estate." We had talked all about the trip to Esgaroth the night before, and I had told her how beautiful the ceremony was, how fascinating the entertainers were, and how spectacular the fireworks had been. And I mentioned the nosy Lord and his naughty examination, and his attempt to keep Mal and me for himself, for a little while at least.

"Seems like everyone is trying to take you and Mal away from Thranduil," said Sheraiah.

"Tell me about it," I groaned, and then added, "I am thinking about wearing a sign around my neck that says, 'Please don't rescue me -- I like it here!', but I doubt anyone would pay attention to it."

These wood-elves loved their merry-making, and seemed to use the least little excuse for it. Around us, the royal kitchen was in a flurry of preparations for yet another feast planned for welcoming back the royal traveling party. Thaladir and the rest were supposed to arrive at some point that day. I had asked Mirime to make sure that Sheraiah and I were given advance warning as soon as they were spotted on the road.

We had found a little corner to work in, out of the way of the busy staff, and I set up my little hand-cranked coffee bean grinder and set about brewing a pot for the twins, and myself. Sheraiah found enough ingredients to make her famous 'killer' pancakes as I was sure she would. The elfking's pantry was always well stocked.

While I had been sipping on my coffee and watching Sheraiah, I was amazed when she rummaged through the pantries and produced a bucket of milk. I had not seen any since the day I arrived and subsequently learned that the delivery of fresh dairy products was not possible, although butter and cheese were transported regularly from the Long Lake town. As she poured some into a small jug and added vinegar, I sidled over to one of the cooking elves and asked where the milk had come from...but he only spoke Elvish.

After I pantomimed the jug, and the fluid inside, and pointed over to where Sheraiah was busy with her pancake making, the elf I was questioning rattled off something mostly incomprehensible. Then he held his hands up to his forehead and spread his fingers in such a way that at first I thought he was imitating a bush or a tree. I gave up.

"I'm still not sure about those little devil horns you drew on the twin's foreheads," I told Sheraiah when I returned to her side. "I don't know that anyone else besides me even knows what they mean." Maybe that was what the elf was trying to indicate, but it still did not make sense.

"Well, if anyone asks," she replied with a shrug, "we can say they are balrog horns." We had both thought that the dark-haired Imladris elves looked especially dashing with mustaches and goatees, but we were worried that if they saw each other's faces they would know the joke and clean their faces before any one else saw them. We had taken steps to prevent that from happening, and now I wondered if that was such a good idea. If we had stayed with drawn-on facial hair, they may actually have looked normal.

An elleth glided across the floor behind Sheraiah, carrying a baby fawn in her arms. She paused for a moment, with a puzzled look on her face, when she saw the milk bucket sitting out on a counter. But she picked it up, after transferring the tiny creature over to one arm, and carried it away silently. I assumed the baby deer was an orphan and was dying to run over to pet it and coo over it, but I restrained myself. I decided to pass on the pancakes, though, not fancying the idea of deer milk flavoring. Obviously the cooking elf that had been using sign language with me had been making antlers with his hands on his forehead.

The pancake maker was oblivious to the whole situation going on behind her back as she told me how her night ended, when we were through with the twins. I kept my mouth shut about the suspicious origins of the milk she had found; the wine-besotted elves deserved what they were getting.

After she had finally said goodnight to me the night before, and returned to her room, she was met by Legolas who took her directly to his chambers. With a happy sigh, she described the private late night supper he had prepared for the two of them, with candles and flowers and a romantic fire in the fireplace. But then he had dropped a bombshell on her. The king wanted to have a private audience with her today, and she was scared spitless about talking to him by herself.

"Oh, don't be silly!" I told her. "He really isn't an ogre, most of the time." It did not seem to comfort her. But there was no time for further dssiossion. Mirime came to tell us that the royal party was spotted a few miles away and would be there soon. There was no time to carry our breakfast to the twins now. I grabbed a mug of coffee, flew to my room to put on a gown, and wondered if Sheraiah would do the same. I hoped so, for the sake of peace in the halls.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

I had expected the Elvenking to be furious at Haldir's 'delivery', but he was not, at least not enough to show it to me. Instead he was gentle and careful, making sure that I would forget everything else while I was in his bed. He succeeded, of course.

Afterwards, in the morning, when I was enjoying the last blessed minutes of my night with the king, sprawled on top of him with my nose under his ear, he surprised me. I was in a drowsy state of half-sleep, and he caressed my back in long even strokes, murmuring something I could not hear. It was just a peaceful, purring sound with no obvious meaning.

And then I felt his lips on my shoulder, and woke with a giggle as his breath tickled the sensitive skin over my collarbone. I instinctively lifted my shoulder to protect the area, but he continued kissing and nibbling until I was fully awake. And then he talked about things I had given no thought to since the day before. He asked about Sheraiah, and 'the dwarf' and my impression of them, but said nothing about Haldir. I still don't know if it was because he really disliked the L�rief, of, or only because it was no news to him what my feelings for the March Warden were.

But, he dwelt the longest on the Imladris twins, and that is what surprised me. After their failed attempts at rescuing Mary last autumn, and now this recent one, I would have thought he preferred to think as little as possible about Elladan and Elrohir, rather than continuing to ask me about them until I had to say out loud that, yes, I found them adorable, and intriguing, and very activctive.

That made him smile, and as he stroked my cheek with his large thumb I understood that I was blushing. "Very well," he whispered in a low voice, "if that is so, then perchance you should use the opportunity to make their acquaintance".

I could hardly believe my ears. Did he not find the sons of Elrond annoying beyond description?

"They are skilled warriors in their own right and have inherited a good measure of their sire's wisdom, even if theytheitheir best to conceal it most of the time. Do as it pleases you to do, but know that I see no hindrance to the satisfaction of your curiosity. The experience could prove very interesting." The Elvenking looked, if possible, even more expectant than I felt at the thought of getting to know the dark-haired twins better.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary~

Without the hindrance of a gown to slow me, I was able to getk tok to my room at record speed. Even with her long, long elleth legs, Mirime lagged a few steps behind because of her own skirt getting in her way. I really wished I did not have to change out of my leggings, but there was no reason to greet Thaladir in such a way as to sour his whole mood for the happy homecoming occasion.

There was barely time for me to dress and have my hair brushed and braided. Unfortunately, there was just not enough time left to find the twins, feed them, clean them, and have them pumped full of coffee before the seneschal got a look at them. I needed an assistant.

"Mirime," I started out, asking innocently, "have you seen the Imladris elves around anywhere this morning, by chance?" Sheraiah and I had managed to avoid both Legolas and the overworked elleth the night before, when we had gone back down to the wine cellar, so as not to implicate them in our pranks. Although I was certain that the prince was probably as aware, as his father always is, of the goings-on amongst the subjects of the realm, and his girlfriend, I was also sure he had probably done his best to avoid seeing anything that he would have to report.

Sadly, Mirime reported that she had no idea where Elladan and Elrohir had spent the night, and I also detected a note of irritation in her voice as she spoke. But that meant she could not be held responsible, if someone else found them first. I relaxed atle.tle.

"Were they supposed to come by to see you last night?" I asked, feeling a little guilty about it. "For...some...um...language instructions?" She turned a bit pink around her ear-tips as she nodded her head shyly. My heart ached from taking part in depriving the elleth of her visit with Elladan and Elrohir. They were clearly smitten with her, too, and captivated by her sweet nature. Their rescue attempt notwithstanding, I could tell that they were not completely focused on resuming intimacies with me when she was nearby, and that was a relief.

After I was dressed enough, with my hair put back in a seemly single braid, I hugged the helpful elleth and told her that I was going to miss her. Now that her sister Miriel was going to be back soon to take over the reins in my chambers, she would only have one of us mortal maids to care for. I apologized for all the worry I had caused her, and promised to accept full blame if a few of my improper clothing choices were blamed on her.

Then I told her that, when I was in the kitchen with Sheraiah, I had overheard someone discussing how there were two strange elves sleeping on the floor in Thranduil's private wine cellar. I suggested that maybe she should find someone to check and see if it was her missing twin tutors. Her sudden smile, and the look of relief in her eyes, helped ease some of the guilt I had been feeling. As I rushed off to find the king, I hoped that Mirime would find someone to locate the twins before the seneschal did.

I pressed myself to Thranduil's side as we stood waiting for the arrival of the royal traveling party. On the road ahead, we could see them coming, at Thaladir's usual snail's pace, up the road toward the halls. It was my first opportunity to be near the king since the day before, and I had wanted to jump on him, while kissing him all over his somesome face, as soon as I saw him. But, instead, I stayed as close to him as I could, while keeping my hands and lips to myself.

As we waited, his hand moved slowly down my back over to my hip where it settled itself before pulling me even tighter to him. He spoke quietly to me so no one could overhear him.

"Do I detect the lack of proper undergarments, my lady?" He did not sound displeased. His fingers moved over my bottom for a moment before returning to my hip, the thin fabric of the summery gown had revealed my secret too well.

"Don't tell on me," I replied. "I heard about that record book your seneschal keeps."

As the carriage came over the bridge, I could see Miriel and Ithilwen's happy faces in the windows, but I could not see Helca. I wondered if she and her kitty had decided to stay on at Dale in that fancy, luxurious mansion of Lord Bard II's. But no such luck, she emerged behind the other two ellith, wicker basket in hand, and with her normal sneering face pasted firmly on. And then she saw Haldir.

Ha! She actually took a step back, whether in alarm at seeing a Galadhrim at her front doorstep, or just in awe of his undeniable arrogant beauty, it was hard to say. Not even she could ever pull off his elegantly haughty attitude and look that gorgeous at the same time. If anyone could put that icy elleth in her place, it was he. I wished I could lock the two of them together in the king's study for an hour or so. She would come out humbled, or smiling, and either way would be a vast improvement.

Immediately after thinking that, I mentally told Thranduil he did not have to arrange a get-together with those two, adding that I was just amusing myself with the idea. The thought of possible claw marks, either from the spoiled cat or its vicious owner, marring the March Warden's lovely face had come to mind and given me pause. I was learning to be careful with my frivolous, but not very well thought out, fancies.

It occurred to me that the very last time I had seen Haldir, at the masquerade party, was also the very first time that Thranduil had warned me to be careful about what I wished for. He was not kidding. I should never even have thought about Elladan and Elrohir being located until the coast was completely clear. After they made their grand entrance, I reluctantly unglued myself from Thranduil in order to make sure they got unstuck from each other, cleaned off, and fed.

Luckily, Mirime was so happy to see the bedraggled pair alive and well, if a bit messy and oddly attached at the head, that she stayed with me to get their hair undone, and their faces cleaned off, before we took them to the kitchen. They first had to vow never to attempt rescuing me again, before I consented to releasing them from one another. After muttered agreements, they warned of not being held responsible if an opportunity arose and they reflexively jumped at it. Ranger instincts may take over. I allowed them that, but asked them to practice self-restraint, and to keep Thranduil's sword in mind.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

After finally getting out of the king's bed, I had a quick and simple breakfast alone and then went for a walk outside, hoping that I might finally see the flower of a special kind of herb that grew near the bridge. Its large yellow petals only open for a short while after sunrise, and so far I had been too late. And still I didn't want to ask anyone to take the trouble of getting me at the right time. Coming there at the precise moment on my own would just be more exciting, and I enjoyed starting my day outside the underground dwelling.

But, I was not lucky this morning either. Even before I reached the bridge, I could hear the clatter of horse hoofs, and when I looked back at the main gates, I saw a few elves gathered there. It was not hard to guess that they were the greeting committee for Thaladir and the others. As I went to join them, Haldir came out of the gate, and then Sheraiah, Legolas and Gimli. The king arrived a few moments later, with Mary closely attached to his side, and Mirime just after them. Only Elladan and Elrohir were nowhere to be seen.

As could be expected of the king's seneschal, Thaladir's arrival was worthy of a royal emissary. Anarion and he rode before the carriage where the ladies were sitting, and the rest of the honour guard followed, in even pairs, except for the last rider. They moved forward at a modest speed, in a majestic, controlled trot with exact movements that made it look like the horses were dancing. It dawned on me that our arrival at Lord Bard's estate must have been equally grand; I just didn't get to see it as I had been inside the carriage.

Miriel and Ithilwen seemed very happy to be back; they were smiling and stood still for a while, looking around, before they followed behind Thaladir to the waiting king. Anarion and all the other handsome guards in their green uniforms remained on horseback.

Thaladir had his head turned to the king the whole time, staring straight in front of him, as if making a point of not even noticing the rest of us. It must be a protocol thing.

"M�l l�n t�l ad," [Your servant returns] he said, standing stiff at attention, and then bowing his head. Thranduil shook his head, but grinned.

"Mae govannen, mellon n�n arod," [Well met, my noble friend] he replied, and took both Thaladir's hand in his, grinning even wider at his seneschal's slightly shocked expression. So, that was obviously not a protocol thing.

"I ngynd themais h�n linnar na 'lass," [The stones of these halls sing with joy] the king continued, and I eagerly studied the other elf's face to see how he would react. A smile, perhaps? Slight embarrassment at such praise delivered in public? Nothing. It made me happy. Obviously his errands in the mortal lands hadn't changed him a bit, and it was confirmed by the brief glance he sent in my direction, before proceeding to greet Legolas, who proudly introduced Sheraiah to him.

Helca, whom I only now noticed, seemed very different, on the other hand. She was for sure as haughty as always, but she appeared stunned too, and if I had seen that facial expression on anybody else I would have said she was besotted. I tried to follow her glance, and before long had identified the focus of her attention. A certain March Warden, if possible even more arrogant than she. He was smirking of course, proud as a peacock, and I wondered how this would end, until the belated arrival of the Imladris twins made me forget everything else, as I couldn't help giggling at their odd facial adornments.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah~

My impression of Thaladir was initially favorable, although I thought that he really needed to learn to let his hair down, figuratively speaking. He had bowed over my hand solemnly, his eyes not once going lower than my face. Okay, he got points for that. Even Thranduil and Elrond had had wandering eyes where my cleavage was concerned.

The seneschal made a point of complimenting me on the appropriateness of my attire and I had a difficult time keeping a straight face as I imagined what he might be told about the outfits I'd worn previous to his arrival. I curtseyed to him, not as deeply as I had to Thranduil, and then he passed on to greet the others.

I stood beside Legolas and looked over my shoulder back into the caverns, wanting to change into appropriate cooking attire and get back to my pancake making. As we waited outside the enormous doorway for the greetings to finish, the twins came stumbling out, blinking in the sunlight, still braided together and adorned with Mary's and my artistic efforts. I suppressed laughter with an effort, especially when I got a look at Legolas' face.

"You are thoroughly evil. Remind me never to overindulge in wine in your presence," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"'I can't take full credit for that one," I replied, grinning. I snuggled into his arms for a moment and then extracted myself. "I have an anti-revenge breakfast to make."

"What are you cooking?" he asked, his expression one of great interest.

"Come and find out," I returned, taking his hand and pulling him along with me.

We went to my room and, over his protests; I changed into a t-shirt with modest sleeves that covered my elbows, and my jeans.

"Legolas, there is no way am I going to attempt to cook in this dress! One, I'll ruin it, and two, the sleeves are too long! I'll set myself on fire. Don't worry so much. I'd think it would be more unseemly to cook in unsafe attire and burn down the kitchens than it would to be seen in what I normally wear. I've certainly got more skin covered right now than I did a few minutes ago."urriurried back to the kitchen with him close behind me, his head turning this way and that while on the lookout for the seneschal, or so I assumed.

"Sour milk is the key ingredient," I told the twins, the prince, Mirime and Mary, as they sat at the table behind me while I beat the eggs before adding them to the dry ingredients. I stirred the milk, which had curdled perfectly and added it, mixing the batter until I judged it to be ready. I had quadrupled my usual recipe, figuring that the twins might not be the only ones interested in eating some breakfast, which, judging by the eager expression on Legolas' face, had been a good decision.

Soon I had a stack of golden pancakes sitting on a platter on the edge of the stove keeping warm as I cooked the rest. The toppings I had found were a kind of molasses that would do for syrup, as well as a selection of fruits syrups.

I was about two thirds of the way done when Gimli put in an appearance, his nose practically twitching in appreciation of the wonderful smells my efforts were producing. The twins were still looking a bit worse for wear but perking up after repeated applications of Mary's coffee, and soon the three of them and the prince were seated behind me tucking into stacks of pancakes. It was easily the most I had ever seen Legolas eat at one sitting, which amused me to no end. Mary just had more coffee. Chicken, I thought affectionately, looking at her sideways.

I was finishing up the last of the pancakes, when I heard a commanding voice behind me.

"No, I will not require my usual breakfast." I turned to see Thranduil striding toward me. The cook he had been speaking to simply packed up what he had been working with and began to put it away. Legolas looked up from his plate to grin at his father, who arched a brow at him. Picking up a napkin, Thranduil reached out and wiped a drop of raspberry syrup from his son's chin. It struck me as funny, especially when Legolas turned a nice shade of pink, and I started to laugh. The king turned an amused look on me before surveying the worktable that his son and the now snickering dwarf and twins were seated at.

"Interesting. You are a lady of many talents," he said, giving me a half smile. It was my turn to blush then.

"You should try some, Ada," Legolas chimed in, quickly recovering from his embarrassment. "Elladan and Elrohir call these 'Killer Pancakes'."

"With a recommendation like that, how could I refuse," the king said wryly. I quickly slid a stack of pancakes onto a plate and handed it to him, managing not to drop the plate. Mary stifled a choking cough, and excused herself from the kitchen to attend to some vague errand, pausing only to plant a swift kiss on Thranduil's cheek.

As the king ate, my guys finished up their breakfast and, at Legolas' suggestion, left to walk off their meal in the gardens. I dished up a stack of the pancakes for myself and sat down opposite His Majesty to enjoy my breakfast.

"My son speaks very highly of you," Thranduil said, startling me.

"He's generous," I replied, a bit embarrassed. "I'm a pretty average nuisance." His mouth formed an ironic smirk at that.

"I would not say nuisance. Rather, I would say creator of benevolent chaos. He is content when you are with him, and Legolas is seldom content." He caught my gaze and I could not look away. "It pleases me when my son is content." He released my gaze and I looked down at my plate, discomfited until he spoke again. "Sheraiah, I know that you cannot remain here as Mary and Malinorne do, but know that you are welcome whenever you choose to gift us with your presence."

Thranduil's words were like a gift and I looked up at him again. He was smiling a gentle smile at me and I felt like I had been given the most valuable treasure in the world. It was easy then to see why his subjects loved him so, and why Mary and Mal adored him.

"Thank you," I replied softly, returning his smile. A thought entered my mind then and I tilted my head, giving him a mischievous look. "I'll just bet that you know dozens of embarrassing stories about your son, don't you?" He gave me a smugly evil grin.

"Of course I do. I also happen to know several about Elrond and Celeborn that I could perhaps be persuaded to tell." He looked at me expectantly.

"More pancakes, Your Majesty?" I asked with an innocent expression. To my delight, he laughed and held out his pla

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary ~

When the king came out from the kitchen, I was waiting for him by the door. He seemed none the worse for having eaten deer-milk flavored pancakes, but I am sure that his digestive system can handle anything life throws at it, his being an elf and all. However, I doubt he was prepared to see me curtsey and address him meekly, with no pouncing and smooching first, as I asked, in Sindarin, for a formal audience with him in the throne room. Where he had to listen to my request, and do his best to grant it.

"Are you sure you would not rather retire somewhere with more comfortable... seating arrangements?" He approached me but I stepped back. It was getting easier to cloak my thoughts from him, but I could never do so for long when he was near me, and not busy with some kingly task. But, this time I was managing to actually keep my plans to myself, and by the puzzled look in his eyes, could tell he did not know what I was going to ask him for.

"Please humor me," I asked. "I am really trying to get the hang of all of the required protocol that the rest of your subjects have to follow. I don't mind being spoiled, but sometimes you make things too easy."
you you wish," replied the king and he escorted me with a properly extended elbow into his throne room. Instead of sitting, he placed me th and and then stood before me with an attentive, amused expression. Beating around the bush was not a wise tactic.

"I want to see Thaladir's record book." My curiosity had gotten the better of me. I wanted to know exactly what crimes I had committed since I had arrived in Thranduil's halls that had turned the old grouch so firmly against me. How could I change to make him more accepting of me if I had no clue as to what I was doing that so repulsed him?

"So, I need you to keep him busy tomorrow," I explained to the king. "I want to get into his room and take a look at it." Thranduil pondered my request with his hand at his chin, and his gaze nailed on me.

"I see," he said. "Not only do you expect me to overlook your plan to break in to my seneschal's private chambers, and to rifle through his personal possessions, but you also believe that I should aid and abet you in this crime."

"How else am I going to get a peek at it?" It seemed obvious to me. But the king had to look away for a moment; he sighed, and then turned back to me.

"Why is it so important to you?" Under his steady stare, there was no option but to be completely truthful.

"I just want to figure out why he hates me so much." It was personal. I admit it.

"He does not hate you at all." When the king tries to reassure me, his soft tone of voice feels likearesaress on my soul, and sometimes I am convinced to stop doubting and accept. But, not this time.

"Is that why he never said a word to me today at the front gate?" I asked him. "Or even look at me? Because he, what, really likes me and wants to make me feel good about myself?" I sounded whiney even to myself, but I was peeved.

"Mary," the king reminded me gently, "you were hiding behind me when he looked over in your direction. I do not think he even saw you."

"Don't make excuses for him." He was right; a notion had entered my head of Thaladir's keen eyesight actually being capable of detecting my missing undergarments, through my flimsy gown. Although his eyes rarely traveled below my forehead, I did not want to take any chances. But, I knew what I usually felt around him, and it was disregarded. "You and Mal are always trying to talk me out of what I can see with my own eyes, he hates me."

"Do you want me to talk to Thaladir?"

"Don't you dare. I don't want him to think he has to be nice to me because you ordered him to be. I want him to be nice to me because he should be nice to me." I did not think that was unreasonable, even if I did realize that breaking into the seneschal's quarters was possibly not going to happen, at least not with Thranduil's blessing, let alone his needed cooperation. He surprised me. He always surprises me.

"Very well," he said. "I will assist you in your caper." I leapt up to embrace him, but he stopped me and sat me back down with his hands at my shoulders. "However," he continued, "before you celebrate, I must give you one warning one one condition."

Mentally, I unlaced his leggings and imagined, for his benefit, giving him a proper thank you, right from where I was sitting. But, that was not what he had in mind, yet.

"You may have a very different opinion about my seneschal if you pursue this course of action." Although I knew that was suppoto bto be the warning, I nodded in agreement, not understanding at all. Then he said, "And, you must not come to me for any further assistance if what you learn causes you even more aggravation." He lifted his eyebrow to punctuate his sentence, but it was an easy challenge.

"Like, what I don't know can't hurt me?" I asked him, just to clarify. "Do you mean ignorance is bliss? And curiosity killed the cat?"

"Precisely." He stood there before me, sober and serious, as he let me absorb his warning, and condition. There had to be a reason he was trying to make me reconsider. Now I knew I had to see that book.

"Okay, here's my plan...," I began, only to be interrupted by the subject of our conversation storming into the throne room, and slamming the door behind him. The look on Thaladir's face was one I had only seen on the faces of warring elves in tapestries depicting great battles of the past, it was truly murderous. The seneschal's full blown fury was icy, like a blizzard, and terrifying to behold, unlike the king's, which is always fiery hot and fascinating.

Convinced that he was coming to ask Thranduil permission to toss me into a dungeon and behead me at sunrise, for some crime he had discovered that I had unwittingly, or deliberately, committed, I shrank into a ball on the throne's seat and tried to look invisible. As the king calmly listened, Thaladir rattled off in Sindarin something that actually vaguely made sense, at least a few words of it. I got it that he was mad at someone else, for a change, and started breathing again. And I had one more reason to want a look at that book.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah~

"Come with me," Legolas said, taking my hand and pulling me along the corridor. He had been in an odd mood every since the twins had made their inopportune appearance.

"Where are we going?" I asked, feeling a bit apprehensive.

"You will see," he replied, shooting me a smoky-eyed look.

We approached an ornate door, a familiar ornate door. I dug my heels in and refused to enter Thranduil's study.

"Absolutely not, Legolas. No way."

"Rai," he said hoiceoice smooth and seductive, "you cannot tell me that you are not intrigued by the idea. I know you too well. Come." He drew me into the room and closed the door behind us.

"What if your father walks in," I countered, esolesolve wavering.

"He is busy right now, trust me," he returned, beginning to slide his hands over my body. "Have you never loved in a place that was forbidden? Where you might have been discovered?" His lips sought my neck, nibbling and sucking. "Have you never felt the thrill of risk?"

"What's gotten into you?" I gasped as his thumbs grazed my nipples through my shirt and bra.

"Only the desire to see a rowdy human wench beneath me on my father's desk," he replied, his eyes smoky with desire and twinkling with mischief.

"Horny elf, you kill me," I said, pushing ineffectually at his chest. "If I had known that pranking your friends and cooking you breakfast put you in such a mood, I'd have done it a good while back. But, could we please go somewhere besides your father's study?"

"We are here now, and I cannot wait," he replied, pulling my shirt up and unfastening my bra. His lips on my breasts killed my objections and I surrendered, my hands opening his tunic and shirt and unlacing his breeches.

My clothes went flying across the room, followed by my panties and I was lifted up onto the desk. Legolas knelt in front of me, using his lips and tongue to drive me into a frenzy. He brought me to the brink of climax, ignoring my protests when he ceased his attentions. He stood again and impaled me, locking his mouth on my shoulder and sucking hard as he thrust into me. I came apart then, writhing under him. His breath hitched and distantly through my own flood of pleasure, I knew he was close as well.

Legolas buried his face in my neck with a moan as he reached his peak. For a moment, all either of us could do was cling to each other. As our breathing returned to normal, we both became conscious of a third presence in the room. Legolas' head snapped up and he looked over his shoulder, his body tensing against me as he saw who stood just inside the room. He had shifted just enough that I could also see who had entered the room at the pivotal moment.
Thaladir stood frowning at both of us.

"Oh, fuck!" It slipped out before I could stop it and I winced, knowing that it was yet another black mark against me. Thaladir's eyebrows drew even closer together, if that was possible.

"My lady, although I appreciate the absence of tardiness in your confession and correct classification of your current activities, I would highly recommend a more seemly fashion of expression. Furthermore, I shall insist on such activities being performed solely in the seclusion of the prince's private chambers. You will cease the unseemliness immediately." The seneschal wore the most disapproving expression I had ever seen on an elf. Had he been addressing an elf, his words would have produced a cowed expression and a mumbled apology. However, he was not addressing an elf and his words had exactly the opposite effect that he intended.

"A decent elf would have withdrawn from the room and waited until we were covered again. Don't preach to me about seemliness, Your Excellency, until you display a bit more of it yourself." He stiffened even more, but I didn't stop there. "Now, if you would be courteous enough to leave the room so that I can dress, we will offend your king's desk no longer." Legolas gaped at me and Thaladir whirled and left without another word.

I knew that I was probably in for it as soon as Legolas recovered enough to really think about what I had done and especially once Thranduil found out about it, but I was angry at the high-handed manner that Thaladir had taken with me and even if I got booted out of Mirkwood for mouthing off to him, it would be worth it to me. Besides, Legolas had started it and had no room to talk.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

The seneschal was not frowning. He was furious. His face was white, his mouth a thin line and he clasped and unclasped his fists like he was having difficulty controlling his movements. His cold white fury was worse than what I had ever seen the king display, and he scared me. I could not imagine what would make Thaladir so enraged. I curtseyed when he came closer, deeply, greeting him with a hesitant "Your Excellency?" but he did not condescend to reply, just passed me in a quick stride.

I was scared, but also curious. I couldn't keep up with him, but the loud bang of a door being shut could only come from the throne room. Luckily for me, the violent shutting had made the door jump and it was slightly ajar. I could see the Elvenking surprisingly calmly receiving his outraged seneschal.

"My dear Thaladir," he said briskly, grasping the other elf's shoulders and making him stand still. That seemed to work, for the moment at least, but then the tall elf shook himself loose and burst out in a rapid string of words I barely caught. It was something about indecently improper insolence and debaucherous defiling of desks and a lot more to that extent.

It seemed to have something to do with Sheraiah, and it surprised me. They had been decent enough to each other when they had first met, and he had even complimented her on her dress. But perhaps she had already turned out to be even less compatible with the proper elf than Mary had been in the beginning.

The king listened to his distressed seneschal, nodding calmly, and finally Thaladir lifted his chin and declared loudly: "With all due respect, Sire, I resign my position!"

I was shocked as much by the unthinkable words as by the Elvenking's indifference. Did he not care that he was losing his most trusted warrior and long-time friend? Would he say nothing?

"I have tolerated the mortals you brought in," continued Thaladir, "doing my uttermost to accept their odd habits. They are charming at times," - here he interrupted himself, drew a deep breath and gestured towards the throne, where I only now noticed Mary. She had curled up in a corner of the heavy chair, with her feet on the seat and her chin on her knees, and was staring with big eyes at the fuming seneschal. I did not envy her the view of his face. Just the sight of him from behind was sufficiently intimidating.

"Your mortals are charming at times," he repeated, "and I have not doubted your son would eventually want his own. I do not deny his right. But this goes far beyond my vows. I am leaving!"

"Malinorne," the king said silently, and I came forth from my hiding place. "Would you demonstrate to my seneschal that mortals can be most agreeable when treated properly?"

I was less than sure of my ability to calm an enraged seneschal, but more than willing to give it a try. Mirkwood was not the same when he was gone even for a short time, and having him leave forever would be disastrous. If that what was he intended. I suddenly remembered what Legolas had said long ago; that Thaladir regularly threatened to resign, and though it was to be taken as a serious sign of distress, he would never leave the king's service.

That was certainly a soothing thought, but it didn't help me decide how to calm him. Massage seemed to be out of the question, as he would probably be oversensitive to touching, even if performed innocently, but he used to love to listen to poetry.

"Most Excellent Excellency," I said submissively, "allow me to read to you from the collection of poems in the study." He stared at me, and the slight smile that had tugged at his mouth at my exaggerated polite address disappeared momentarily. "Not. The. Study," he said between grinding teeth.

"Will you accompany me to my room then?" I asked, bracing myself for a harsh reaction to the possibly unseemly suggestion. It did not come. Thaladir just nodded, and when I took his hand and started walking, he followed me meekly. Poor elf! I just hoped I would have more success in helping him than I had had with the twins in the wine cellar.

t b c

Our story has beominominated for an MPA: Best Mary Sue Category
if you like it, please do consider voting for us at:
w w w.elvenlords.net/MPA/mpa.htm
(you will have to remove spaces between the Ws/copy and paste into browser)
- 33
- 34
- 35
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Mary Goes to Mirkwood