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Faded Light: Book II	By : Laurin Category: -Multi-Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 11944 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Characters and places belong to JRR Tolkien and to his estate. I own only my OC's and twisted storylines.

Chapter List
- 36
- 37
- 38
(For additional notes and disclaimers, please see top of Chapter 1.)

= This one started life as a short transition scene from an earlier chapter, (just like Tadion started out in my head as a very minor character who was only Leralonde’s new lover)...but sometimes the voices in one’s head just decide they want more screen time, so here's a bit more of Tadion's dark past, of which there will be more in future chapters...

(I’m pretty sure this is Tadion’s longest scene so far, besides “Affair,” the chapter he was introduced in, though there is a tiny bit of Legolas in this one too)...

This is the last one I have finished at the moment; the next one “Morea Emel” is about half way done, but I’m trying to figure out the right order of the next few chapters, of which there are only about ten or twelve left in Book II...
I will try to post again within a few weeks, and I will get back to Legolas in a couple more chapters.

Enjoy this one, and please, review...reviews make me happy and keep the chapters coming...(and thank you, Sarah and Elftart for your comments on the last few chapters...) =

Chapter 37

Night Shadows

“...do you want to tell me again why this can’t be done at a decent time of day...?” complained the younger Elf for the third time, peering into the dark woods and keeping one hand on the hilt of his sword, as he held up their lamp with the other.

“This root is most effective if gathered at this hour...” explained Tadion and couldn’t help smiling at his youngest brother’s grumbling.

“...is that the reason we’re standing out here instead of celebrating Prince Ethiel’s wedding with the rest of Mirkwood...?”

“You can go back to the house if you want; I told you I’d be fine by myself...this is hardly my first time gathering herbs at midnight and it’s only a five minute walk...you even still have time to get to the wedding feast if you like...”

He took out his knife and cut into a small sample he wasn’t sure about. “It’s been a long time since Mirkwood had much cause to celebrate anything,” he said, taking a taste of the root he’d just cut. He spit it out, making a face.

“And there hasn’t been a Royal wedding in over two-thousand years; I’m sure the celebration will go on for quite a while...”

“...Glaerwen’s more your friend and I barely know Ethiel,” said the younger shaking his head.

“I was surprised you didn’t go really...”

“I gave my gift and my best wishes to Glaerwen earlier,” said the young Healer.

“Actually it was Glaerwen’s Nana and ours who were good friends,” he added after a pause. “Glaerwen used to visit often when we were Elflings...”

“I don’t remember that...”

“It was before Nana went West...” said Tadion, feeling a little of the old sadness seeping in at mentioning their mother. But then he smiled a little, ”As I recall, back then you were still quite preoccupied with figuring out what your toes were for.”

“What is that for anyway?” asked Nourinif after another minute. “That root...it smells terrible; it reminds me of those awful stews Rilia used to make us eat when we were children...”

“I’m working on a medicine to help Leralonde and Saelbeth’s daughter,” he said, examining a particularly good specimen and placing it in his sack.

“...it might also help other victims of the kind of Orc poison Saelbeth was subjected to,” he added.

“How is Rilia?” he asked, thinking of the kindly Elf maiden who had been nanny to all the Elflings of their family for centuries.

“I don’t know.” Nourinif shrugged, “She finally married about a year or so ago and moved to Lorien...I guess she finally got tired of working for our dearest Toron...” The last words were said in such a biting tone that it made Tadion frown.

“I really don’t need a nurse maid, Brother,” he protested again. “I really am fine...I just had a little case of nerves the other day and Vaurna is being overzealous...”

“And I promised Vaurna I’d keep an eye on you,” retorted the younger Elf...

“Anyway what if you-know-who comes back...”

The Healer stopped in the middle of placing another of his acquisitions in the sack and didn’t say anything...

Nourinif hesitated for a long moment before coming closer and kneeling beside his brother. He lowered the lamp to the ground, “I know it must have been Fuinion,” he said quietly.

“...you would not become so overwrought for any other reason...not if you had to face spiders, and Wargs and a pack of mad Orcs all at once...”

“What do you know about Fuinion?” said Tadion in a low voice, not meeting his brother’s eyes as he continued with his work.

“I know I was still only in my hundred’s when it all happened,” said the younger, “when you left home...or rather when our brother caused you to leave...but I know some of it...

“It wasn’t Vaurna who talked to me about it,” he assured his brother. “You know he wouldn’t do that...

“It was Colfind, before he Sailed...”

“...Colfind should have minded his business...” said the young Healer, trying to keep the pain out of his voice...

Even if I do owe him my life, he thought sullenly...his hands still busy with his task...

“I’m not a child,” complained the younger.

“Compared to me at your age, you’re an Elfling,” he reached out and gently touched his brother’s face before Nourinif could argue the point. “Would that I had been allowed to be...

“What did Colfind tell you...?” he asked.

“Just enough...and some I do remember from back then.” The younger Elf shook his head, “People are apt to forget that children are about when serious things are happening, but that doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention...

“He told me about Fuinion hurting you,” he said sadly, “and how Hirgon blamed you...”

The younger’s brow furrowed deeply, “...he also said Fuinion had Talhsalion killed...”

“Aye, that’s the essence of it...”

Tadion looked away and was quiet for a long time, “I’m sorry brother...” he said. “I’ve never really been able to talk about it...”

Well, only on two occasions, in all these centuries, he thought to himself. And then, with as few details as possible...

The first time had been about two-hundred years ago, after Legolas was raped by that Man, Delos, and Ruthlagor had sought Tadion’s help to tend to the distraught Prince...

The young Healer had tried later to get Legolas to speak with his father and had told his friend of his own abuse; though he could not bring himself even then to reveal that it had been at the hands of Fuinion, his own cousin...

“I know you don’t think I can possibly understand what you’re going through except as a Healer,” he had said, “but I do, better than I’d like to...

“It happened to me too...a long time ago...” he admitted, barely able to get the words out; his throat had suddenly gone very dry...

“Except it wasn’t something that happened once...it went on for decades...

“Vaurna knows; he treated my injuries after the last time...but I’ve never really talked about it...even Vaurna knows only some of it...”

“Who was it...?” the Prince’s eyes were wide with surprise and shock, his tone so low it was almost a whisper...

“Saes, Highness, don’t ask me that...I can’t…

"It doesn’t matter now anyway...”

Legolas reached out and took his friend’s hand, “I’m sorry Melon Nin...

“...how did you manage to not fade...?”

Tadion looked away, not able to bring himself to reveal the other part of the secret he had been carrying for so many years...

His green eyes met the Prince’s again, “I know what it is to feel ashamed in this way,” he said earnestly instead, “to doubt your own worth because someone stole a part of you that you alone had the right to decide over and can never get back...

“...for a long time, even after it was over, I could barely stand being in my own skin...but I had no one I could go to; my parents were gone and Hirgon did not care...

“...but you have your Adar who loves you more than anything...you know he would not blame you...”

“I can’t tell him...”

“You can’t bear this burden by yourself, Melon...”

“...I can’t...”

“Legolas...”

“I did try to talk to him,” said the Prince. “The night he came home, I went to his room. We talked the way we always have, and I tried to find the courage...I couldn’t, and I am sure now that I won’t...

“And how could I bear causing him such grief...I can’t...

“This is something that I must learn to live with on my own...”

========================

“I’m sorry you had to endure such things...” said his brother, breaking the painful silence.

“...it was a very long time ago...” said Tadion.

“...I’ve tried very hard all these years not to dwell on it...even if I know I can’t ever forgive them...”

“How can anyone do such terrible things,” said the younger thoughtfully, looking at Tadion, suddenly with a new understanding of the shadows that were always just behind his bother’s eyes though he usually hid them so well...

“...do you mean Hirgon or Fuinion...?” asked the Healer, running his fingers idly through the soft, damp dirt beneath his hand.

“Fuinion has something wrong up here,” he touched two fingers lightly to his own head. “It’s nothing that makes sense...he’s not normal...

“As for Hirgon, and our uncles, they will do anything to uphold their version of our family’s ancient honor and reputation at any cost...in their eyes I disgraced our family...”

“Because Tahlsalion was your lover...what about what Fuinion did to you?” the younger protested, dismayed at such absurd thinking from anyone. “Isn’t that a far worse disgrace according to their version of morality...?”

Tadion shrugged again, still looking away, “...at least Hirgon and our uncles did use their influences to send Fuinion away to the other side of Mirkwood all these centuries...even if it wasn’t exactly to punish him...they just didn’t want to risk a scandal...”

“But now, he’s back...”

“Aye, he’s back, and I can’t be near him...or I’ll have worse than one nervous breakdown…” said the young Healer.

“I’ve asked to be assigned somewhere away from the Palace for a while...” he told his brother. “As you say, I can better handle a pack of Orcs and Spiders than that twisted Elf...”

“You don’t know how much I hate them,” Tadion admitted. “Hirgon as much as Fuinion...

“I’ve never really hated anyone else, and I know it’s wrong to hate your own kin...for a long time though it was myself I hated...and I did a lot of foolish things when I was younger because of it...” he finished bitterly.

And if I hadn’t maybe Tahlsalion would not have died... he thought silently.

A terrible fear suddenly gripped Tadion’s insides as he met the younger Elf’s eyes again, and he looked earnestly at his youngest brother, who, of his siblings, had always been the one he loved best. They were the two who most looked alike, they both had inherited their mother, Hiril Silifwen’s fairness, white blonde hair and green eyes, while Hirgon and Alagion were as dark as most of their late father’s side of the family...

“When you and Alagion were younger,” he asked dreading the answer, “did Fuinion ever...?”

"...nay,” Nourinif waved away the implication, “not with us.

“We hardly ever saw him when we were young...in four centuries he only ever came back home a few times...

“Besides,” he went on, “it’s you Hirgon has always hated...I doubt he would have let Fuinion get away with something like that again with anyone else...Hirgon is not the most lovable Elf, but even at his worst I’ve never known him to be as malicious as he’s always been to you...though I’ve never really understood that...”

“He has his own misguided reasons for that too,” said the young Healer going back to his root collecting and ignoring what his brother was so tactfully trying to ask. “That’s another reason it was easier to blame me back then than punish Fuinion...”

“Is that another family secret I’m not supposed to know?” asked his brother.

“Not tonight anyway.

“Besides,” said the Healer, “that one is not really my secret to talk about...and unlike Colfind, I know how to hold my tongue...”

“...I guess Healers must get pretty good at that...keeping secrets I mean...” smiled the younger.

“...being born into this family helps with that too...” Tadion mumbled darkly.

Nourinif seemed about to say something more but stopped, looking down at the shadows cast by their lamp...

“What is it?”

“...if I tell you something, Brother, will you promise not to overreact?”

Tadion could think only of what he had asked Nourinif a few moments ago, and he felt his insides again tighten a little. “I think that depends entirely on what you have to say...”

“...it’s nothing awful...I don’t think it is, anyway, but I’d rather not have Hirgon know yet...

“There’s someone I’ve been seeing a lot of lately...”

Tadion had a sudden feeling he knew now where this confession was going. “Seeing? In an amorous way you mean...?”

“Aye,” said the youth, meeting his brother’s eyes again, “his name’s Baisel...”

“I see...

“How long have you known?”

“Awhile...” he admitted. “At least a hundred years...maybe I had some sense of it before, but after everything that happened to you, I think maybe it took me a while to accept it…but it’s not something I can make go away...

“I haven’t done anything about it yet though...” he added. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.

“And anyway, I want to know whether what is between Baisel and I is likely to last more than a season...and if he’s worth letting him be my first...” he licked his lips nervously at the last words, an uncharacteristically nervous reaction for the youth...

But Tadion decided it would not be a good moment for any of his usual older brother teasing, even if it was well meant. “I’m glad to hear such sound thinking...” he said instead.

The younger couldn’t help smiling at that, “Is that the Healer or the elder brother speaking...?”

“Both, I think...”

“I don’t want Hirgon to know...” the youth looked serious again. “I’ll be of age in less than two decades and then he won’t have any say any more in what I do...

“But I haven’t yet braced myself for the fit he’ll probably throw whenever he does find out...”

“He’ll probably find some way to blame me for that too...” the young Healer huffed. A fit was probably an understatement of how their narrow eldest sibling would react to learning not only one of his brothers was this way, but two of them...

“Aye, he already gets annoyed enough whenever Alagion or I come to see you...

“So are you going to overreact now...?”

“Nay, I’m not going to overreact...

“Just...don’t rush into something if you’re not ready,” he said. “Sharing yourself in that way is a lot nicer when it’s out of love...”

He saw something briefly cross Tadion’s eyes and he thought it was probably some memory of Thalsalion that came to his mind...

“...why don’t you go back to the house now,” he suggested after another moment. “I just need a few more minutes here...put some hot tea on for us...we’ll talk some more if you want...”

“Brother...”

“Really, I’m fine...and I’m sure Fuinion is at the wedding tonight with everyone else...go on...”

“All right,” the younger Elf finally relented, “but if you haven’t caught up with me by the time I get to the house, I’m coming right back...”

Tadion nodded silently and watched his brother start to walk away for a minute before getting back to his work...he was just finishing and picking up the lamp Nouriif had left in the ground beside him when he looked up into the darkness beyond the light...

It was not the first time he had sensed the presence lurking in the woods surrounding his house...but whatever it was had never come any closer than the tree line, and he had learned not to be fearful of it...

He knew if it had been some stray Orc, an Orc would have attacked almost every time...and if he had ever worried it was Fuinion stalking him, that theory could be discarded by the knowledge that his hated kinsman really was in some other place until very recently. And, like an Orc, Fuinion would have usually attacked, not been content to stay hidden behind the trees...

He dug in his bag and brought out something wrapped in an old cloth and left it on the ground - - just some leftover meats from the dinner he and Nourinif had shared earlier - - before taking his sack and the lamp and following his brother.

Maybe someday he’d be able to solve that particular mystery.

================

TBC...

Elvish Translations:

Toron / Brother

Melon nin / my friend

Adar, Ada / Father, dad, daddy

Hiril / Lady

Elvish names (Listed Alphabetically):

Alagion / (Rushing, impetuous) – One of Tadion’s two younger brothers.

Colfind / (Gold-haired) – A cousin of Tadion’s, who sailed to Valinor many years ago.

Fuinion / (Night, gloom, darkness) – Evil cousin of Tadion’s.

Hirgon / (Rock Lord) – Tadion’s older brother.

Nourinif / (Sunny Face) – Tadion’s youngest brother.

Rilia / (I don’t have a meaning for this name; I saw it on a list of Elf names and liked it.) A former servant in Hirgon’s house, now living in Lorien.

Silefwen / (Shining White) - Mother of Hirgon, Tadion, Alagion and Nourinif.

Tahlsalion / (Sweet Honey Blade) – A former lover of Tadion’s who Fuinion had killed about four centuries ago.
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Faded Light: Book II