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All About Us (Series)	By : NessaT Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General > Lord of the Ring Stars Views: 2134 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
- 1-Wax
- 2-Blades
- 3-Plastic
- 4-Clueless
- 5-High Notes
- 3
- 4
- 5
Pairing: Orli/Elijah, Sean/Viggo

Rating: PG-13

Series: Part 4 of the �All about Us� series

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This did NOT happen. This is NOT real.

Summary: Orli and Lijah are clueless

Warnings: Swear words. Some attempts at gay sex.

Notes: This is just to de-stress myself during my exam period. I�m sorry if it�s not up to the usual standard. But I had fun while I was at it anyway� ha ha!
Clueless

Orlando knew that Elijah was hopping mad. He could tell by the way his friend stomped his feet with every step he took. It hadn�t made matters any better when the bouncer at the entrance had at first disallowed Lij from entering the pub without his identity card.

Angry words were exchanged and there was a tense moment where Orli could have sworn that blows would be exchanged� and if it *did*, Orli wasn�t too sure he would want to get involved because � face it � Legolas wouldn�t look very good with two black eyes and a fat nose. But all in all, they managed to preserve their good looks (Orli and Lij�s, not the bouncer�s) and got into the pub unscathed, but fifty quid poorer.

�Bloody bastard,� Lij murmured under his breath, watching unhappily as the huge ape of a man carefully folded the note into his pocket. Orli shook his head in disgust.

�Yeah� and that�s the money Sean gave us too. Talk about rotten luck,� he groaned as he made his way towards a table in a secluded corner of the darkened room, Elijah stomping away as he followed behind.

They had started out the day in relatively good spirits. Elijah had been looking forward to a night of hard drinking using the money that Sean had so generously given them. It was hard earned too, goddammit! Sneaking into Liv�sileriler hadn�t been an easy task in view of the fact that it was always surrounded by people � mostly men, who no doubt thought that the longer they lingered outside her trailer, the higher the chance of getting �invited� inside � if you get the drift.

But that hadn�t been the source of Elijah�s irritation. The facs, ts, they weren�t careful enough in the process of stealing Liv�s �toys�. Someone had seen them leaving the trailer (one of Liv�s hopeful admirers no doubt) and had �accidentally� let slip today, at lunch, that he remembered seeing two suspicious-looking figures snooping around in her trailer the day before.

�You�d better check if there�s anything missing, Livvy,� he had said, his eyes wide and round, looking like a puppy who wants a pet on the head for a job well done and perhaps some doggy treat to go along with that look.

Judging from the quick glace she cast in their direction, Liv had probably suspected that Orli and Lij were the culprit. So it was fortunate that the guy, (who wasn�t merely a tattle-tale, but a short-sighted one to boot, with eyes hidden behind a pair of monstrous glasses) said that he wasn�t able to catch a good look at the two intruders but one seemed to be midget-like while the other was as skinny as a stick.

�Well that narrows it down then,� Elijah muttered under his breath, glaring daggers at Tattle-tale. Orli hadn�t answered because he was secretly trying to flick some peas in Tattle-tale�s direction. The bastard hadn�t even noticed and so, he wore the evidence of Orli�s wrath throughout dinner � a total of five peas lodging themselves neatly into the nest on his head that he tried to pass off as hair.

But all in all, they had decided to return the dildos to Liv to avoid future embarrassments. Which bring them here tonight� in the bar, and making their way towards Viggo and Sean who sat in a booth in a far corner of the room, probably holding hands under the table. Orli didn�t think he could bear thinking of other things they might be doing under the cover of the tablecloth.

Sean didn�t look surprise to see them, flashing a welcoming grin in their direction but raised an eyebrow when Elijah marched up towards him and settled huffily onto the space next to him.

�Bean, you�ve got to hand over the toy. I think Liv knows that we htaketaken it,� he said while Orli took his seat next to Viggo.

Viggo choked into his drink.

�I thought you said she didn�t suspect a thing?� he cried after recovering from a coughing fit during which Orli regarded his reddening face with some concern.

�Someone told her. Hinted that we were the ones he saw leaving the trailer yesterday,� Orli said sullenly, taking the drink from Viggo�s hand and downing its remaining content in one gulp.

�Hey, get your own drink,� Viggo growled, smacking him lightly at the back of his head, earning a wounded look from Orli.

�Can�t,� Elijah sighed, burying his face in his hand. �Fucking bouncer took our money,� he continued before he too filched Sean�s drink.

Sean rolled his eyes.

�Kids these days. They think that money grow on trees,� he grumbled, digging into his pocket for some notes while Elijah looked at him hopefully. He pressed some cash into Elijah�s waiting hand and rolled his eyes again when the young man kissed the crumpled notes adoringly while Orli scrambled over Viggo in an attempt to grab some from Lij.

A short tussle ensued, whereby Viggo got an eyeful of Orli�s elbow in the process before Sean physically grabbed them by the scruf of their necks, shook them till their brains rattled in their empty noggins, told them to �do something fucking useful for a change� as well as to �go to my room, take the dildo and return it to Liv before he (Sean) does something drastic like ram those empty glasses up their tight, virgin arses.�

So away they went with Bean�s room keys jingling in Orli�s pockets while the two older men look upon their hastily retreating backs with some amusement.

Viggo would swear, even years later that they left skid marks when they left.

**********

**In Bean�s room�**

�Christ. Will you look at this?!�

�Quitkingking around with their stuff Lij! We�ve got the toy, now let�s go.�

�Strawberry lube. Handcuffs. Baby oil. Wax strips��

�What�s that last one again?�

�Wax strips��

�No shit! (ha ha ha) Those kinky bastards!�

�Orli��

�What?�

�Have you ever wanted��

�No.�

�Not even to experiment?�

�No, Lij. Stuff comes out of my arse. Not go in. Period. And stop sulking. You are not getting anywhere near my arsehole.�

�Awww� just for once? I won�t tell anyone and all that.�

�NO!�

*Whine�. Pout�.. Sulk�.*

�Why me? Why mine? Why *my* arse? Do I have �whore� written all over my face or something?�

�Do you really want me to answer that question Orli?�

�Fuck you. Okay. Just once. But only because you won�t tell.�

Rasp of a zipper coming undone. Whisper of cloth sliding against flesh.

��

�Well?! What the fuck are you waiting for?�

�Do I come right in or do I have to stretch you with my fingers?�

�Fingers I think. I don�t know. Should we call Bean and ask for tips?�

�Sacarsm doesn�t become you, Orli. Anthinthink Viggo is the one you should ask about this.�

�That�s because you�re fucking clueless. And besides, Viggo bottoms. Sean told me so.�

�Baby oil or strawberry lube?�

�And don�t change the fucking topic (baby oil is fine) cause if you tell on me, I�m going to skewer you with a baseball bat.�

Silence as Elijah prods at Orli�s arsehole with a finger.

The older boy shivers as the slick digit breaches the tight ring of his hole, becoming still as Elijah slowly moves his finger in and out�

**Five minutes later, still in Bean�s room*

�How does it feel?�

�Like I have a finger up my arse. How is it supposed to feel?�

�Well� it�s supposed to feel good!�

�Maybe if you go deeper��

��.�

�OW!�

�What?!�

�Fucking hell Lij, you�ve gotta stop biting your nails! It scratches!�

�This is no fun. (sulks) I don�t know why people do it.�

�Don�t know don�t care. Don�t expect I�ll ever turn gay meself. Too painful.� WussWuss. You�re only gay for five minutes and you�re whining.�

�Wanker. If you weren�t so fucking clueless I wouldn�t have minded so much.�

�Let�s just fuck off. Return the dildo to Liv. I need to go to the bathroom.�

�Whatever for?�

�I don�t know� Sterilize my finger with some rubbing alcohol? Poor thing� mucking around in your arsehole and everything. It mustn�t have liked it one bit.�

�Asshole.�

�Takes one to know one.�

**********

**Meanwhile at the bar**

�Don�t look now ,Viggo. But I think Miss Tyler is coming this way.�

�Fuck! No! She�s still mad at me because I persuaded Pete to have our scenes done in Elvish!�

�Even worse. Her toys are gone and I think she knows who took it. Man, she doesn�t look too happy.�

�This is all your fault. Hide me, Sean!�

�Where do you propose I do that? Hide you in my arsehole?�

�Yeah, bet you�d like it don�t you. Bastard.�

�Bastard. I�m kinky, but not THAT kinky. Even I know when to draw the line.�

�She�s coming!�

*Viggo scrambles under the table as Liv sashayes towards them, her face solemn*

�Sean, I need your help�

To be continued in �High Notes��
- 3
- 4
- 5
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All About Us (Series)