A Promise of Forever | By : redkiwi Category: +Second Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1566 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Tolkien's world (Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings/Hobbit), nor the characters from it. No money is made from the writing of this story. |
The early morning that broke was void of any of the wayward winds that had battered these western lands for weeks. It was a needed reprieve, for the skeleton trees of this early winter were finally silent, and were freed from their relentless bending and rattling within the forceful winds. The reticent dawn brought a stillness that seemed content to linger, for it seemed that it stubbornly refused to turn day. And now, in this dawn, the whole earth stood calm, and was as if wrapped within a content and serene sleep. The sky was awash with the vibrancy of a spectacular sunrise, which painted the sky with sweeping hues of such intensity, that it seemed as if the sky could not be real.
The hours of this new day crept slowly it seemed, as if the awakening of day was being delayed for that of dreams and of somnolence. Even the frost covered landscape seemed not to care to cast off the ice that had blanketed the lands in the night, but was instead content to rest behind their sheets of frost, which glistened like diamonds under the strengthening sun. Indeed there was a hush over these southern lands, and the only sounds that could be heard were the distant calling of the gulls, and the gentle crashing of the waves from the Gulf of Lhun to the north. It seemed as if the settlement of Harlond had not yet woken, and would not at all this day, content instead to slumber under the slowly fading dawn.
Despite the weariness that gripped these seaward lands, Elrond had woken long before the sunrise, and he sat before a large window in his room that opened up to a courtyard garden. With weary eyes he gazed out at the frost covered trees and to the plants that were dead in this late time of the year. Rays of sunlight caused the ice that clung on the plants to glisten, and the colors of the early morning reflected on everything within the garden. It was starkly beautiful, enchanting even, but Elrond’s jaded heart could little let it penetrate to his perception. Instead the familiar longing and his uncertainties crashed within his mind, and Elrond could only close his eyes, as he cared not to watch the awakening landscape outside his window.
His mind, which should have been captivated by the awakening day, was instead engrossed with his misgivings about Gil-galad. Elrond could only conclude that he simply did not know what was in Gil-galad’s heart and mind. Soon he would be heading back to his home, and back to the arms of the one that caused him such trepidation. Elrond didn’t know if those arms that he longed for would even reach for him again. And he sighed aloud, but his doubt was lost to the silence of his empty room, and would never be heard by the one who brought him such disquiet.
Before he could get further swept away with his troubling thoughts, a reprieve came to him, for a rapping sounded on his bedchamber door. Roused from the uncertainties of his mind, Elrond turned to the sound, as if he debated within his mind that the sound he heard was even real. Again another knocking came upon his door, and as if summoned by the cadence, Elrond stood. But before he moved to open the door, he straightened his robes and he smoothed down his long brown hair. Once he was satisfied in his mind about his appearance, he went to see who it was who came to him now.
On opening the door, Elrond smiled when he saw that it was Erestor who stood before him. In this early morning, Erestor looked refreshed and he seemed imbued with a vibrant excitement. No doubt for the meeting, Elrond concluded, but his mind lingered on his assessment, and other speculations entertained themselves within his mind, if but only briefly. For Elrond quickly cast them away from his focus. This day, Erestor was dressed in deep robes of blue, and his black hair was long and straight, and held not a single braid. He looked stunning, formidable even, and Elrond knew that Erestor would hold his own in their meeting today with Galadriel and Celeborn.
“Elrond, good morning.” Erestor greeted him, and his eyes regarded him with the kindness of his salutation. “I apologize for intruding on you at such an early hour, but my mind gives me no rest, and I feel that no reprieve will come to me unless your company I do have.”
Elrond smiled to his friend, as he was truly glad that Erestor had came to him to free him from his own woeful obsessions. “There is no such intrusion, Erestor, for I am always glad to have your company.”
Elrond saw that Erestor smiled at his words, and his face freely showed his emotions. This was not lost on Elrond, and the more that he studied Erestor the more that he noticed the subtle changes in his usually reserved and solemn friend. Erestor’s eyes shone with a certain spark that Elrond had never seen within their depths before. He was quick to smile this day, and a certain energy hummed from his fae. Elrond gradually came to know what it was that caused Erestor unrest now. It had nothing to do with the meeting with Galadriel and Celeborn, for it was now very clear to Elrond. Erestor had been taken in by the attraction to another.
Elrond internally smiled, and he was very curious to learn more from Erestor. He motioned for him to sit with him on a divan within his room, and the two sat before the warm fireplace. Elrond could see that Erestor’s eye reflected from deep within. The swirling thoughts within his mind crashed within his eyes, for they seemed stormy, and electric with his great secret. But Erestor’s words about the matter did not come, and ever respectful of his friend’s private nature, Elrond did not intrude upon his secrets.
For awhile the only sounds that passed between the two were the shifting of the burning logs within the fireplace, but neither felt the urge to rush into conversation, for like the languid morning, they too were content to delay the words of their concern. The warmth of the fireplace made a comfortable space within Elrond’s chambers, and the presence of his friend caused Elrond to find a stillness that settled on his soul. Now it truly was a gentle morning, and like the lands around them, the stirrings of the emotions that had once blew within Elrond’s heart were now serene and subdued.
“Here we find ourselves just before the time of this meeting.” Erestor said, finally breaking the silence in the room. “Now that the hour is almost upon us, I have to admit that the intrigue of this whole situation has stifled out any annoyance that I once had with Gil-galad for sending me here on this business.”
Elrond laughed at Erestor’s words, as he remembered just how perturbed Erestor had been when Gil-galad had assigned this task to him. “Well, I am glad to hear that you enjoy diplomatic work Erestor, for something tells me that your path will not be that of a simple librarian, or even one of a lore-master for much longer.”
“Indeed it will!” Erestor quickly retorted back to Elrond. “I have no interest in politics or diplomacy, and would much rather leave that to other more meddling minds. I am best suited for lore, and I know that will be my path in life. I made it quite clear to Gil-galad what my intentions in his service will be.”
“We shall see.” Elrond continued laughing, and he very much enjoyed this light-hearted banter with his friend, for it had chased away his woeful obsessions completely.
“Tell me, Elrond.” Erestor said, changing the topic back on their meeting. “Do you think we will uncover what would like to remain hidden, and discover more than just Gil-galad’s simple questions? I can not still my thoughts from forming the conclusion that Galadriel will keep hidden what it is that we really need to know.”
Elrond wasn’t sure if they would, for like Erestor, he also knew that Galadriel was a force of her own. He too believed that she would guard her secrets and true intentions behind an inscrutable facade. Only what she wanted them to know would open up to them, and Elrond wasn’t sure if she was willing to be so discreet, even if it was the High-King, who through his emissaries, posed these questions to her.
“We will discover what we can, and will report back to Gil-galad everything that was revealed to us. The only task that we were given was to learn if they go, and to uncover any details that we are able to learn. I have no doubt that we will be able to deliver to Gil-galad what it is that he seeks.”
Erestor’s deep grey eyes regarded him, and they seemed to hold a contemplation about what they may come to learn this day. But Erestor said nothing more about the meeting and instead only leaned back into the cushions of the divan. His eyes seemed to drift to another thought altogether, for his face became awash with different emotions. Elrond could see that they were good thoughts, for Erestor cared not to mask his emotions, and a light shone through his eyes.
“I find it a little sad.” Erestor said, as he broke the silence that had settled in the room once more, and as he spoke, his eyes turned from the elation of his emotions to a different and new concern.
“About the departures, that is. For we have worked so hard to build up Lindon, and we have peace here. But now the people go forth and sever themselves from us, and it is like the prelude of an ambiguity that is reaching for us.”
Elrond listened to Erestor’s words, and he had to agree with what was said. But in his mind he knew that it was for something other that caused Erestor to fret about the exodus of their people from these lands. Elrond couldn’t help but ask what came into his mind. “Is there someone that goes forth that would cause your mind this disquiet?”
Erestor’s eyes went wide and his mouth slightly opened as he assessed Elrond’s words. But then his faced relaxed, and he regarded Elrond with a certain confirmation, for he knew that Elrond was very astute and could discern secrets that wished to remain hidden. That is why Gil-galad had sent him here. A long smile spread across Erestor’s face, and his eyes gleamed with the admission that Elrond’s assumptions were indeed correct. But he did not speak of any acknowledgment of Elrond’s question, and once again the room was filled with silence.
By now, the winter sun had risen more, and the lands were bright under the frost and ice that had blanketed the country during the past night. The hour was growing late, and the morning meeting would soon be on them, although neither Elrond nor Erestor made any haste to greet it.
“Shall we take breakfast?” Elrond asked, as once again the silence was broken. He didn’t really have much hunger, but he wasn’t sure if Erestor had eaten this morning.
“You can go, but I will decline.” Erestor answered. “The impatience that I have for the hour of our meeting drives any hunger from me.”
Elrond nodded back at Erestor in agreement. “I think I too will forgo breakfast today. I also can feel an anticipation that has consumed my entire perception. There simply is little room for anything else, breakfast included.”
Erestor raised an eyebrow and his lips slightly curved into a smile, but he said nothing in response to Elrond’s words. Instead they both sat again in silence, and took in the new day that was unfolding from the window. Time passed quickly, for even though the morning had been slow to manifest, the meeting with Galadriel and Celeborn could not be delayed.
“Well, let us not delay the hour of our meeting, for the appointed time is now on us.” Erestor said as he rose from the divan.
Elrond, on hearing Erestor’s words, nodded in agreement, and he too stood, as his mind was swept with the questions that worried him regarding the departure of so many people. Soon, he hoped, they would come to understand and learn a little more of just what really troubled Gil-galad.
Now that the time for the meeting had arrived, Elrond and Erestor made their way to Galadriel’s and Celeborn’s office, and they did so with hast. With help from the guards who were posted within the halls, they wound their way through the vast building that housed the Lord and Lady. Their walk was long, and they passed beneath carved arches of stone, and walls painted with beautiful murals of the sea and of the night sky. But they did not have time to take in the stunning architecture or the art of the citadel, for they had tarried far too long this morning in their conversation and their leisure, and they now were pushing against time to reach the office before the named hour of their meeting.
When they had finally found their way to the Lord and Lady’s office, a great wooden door carved to depict the stars and a great and mighty sea stood before them. Although they were expected for the meeting, the door itself was closed to them. The door was large and impressive, and it strangely gave the impression of invitation with the rolling waves that seemed to beckon to them, even though the door itself was closed. They waited while a guard announced their presence to Celeborn and Galadriel, and then the wooden door was opened to them.
Once within Celeborn and Galadriel’s office, Elrond’s eyes took the room in. He noticed that this office contrasted greatly to the rooms that were found within Gil-galad’s dwellings, and specifically with that of his office. To Elrond’s eyes, this room seemed impersonal and unwelcoming, which was strange to him because Galadriel and Celeborn were anything but unkind.
The room was awash with the light of numerous lanterns that were placed around the room, and a grand candelabra hung from the ceiling. Candles radiated in a circle from the candelabra, and their light was cast down into the room. A large window took up most of the eastern wall, and it allowed the morning sun to spill its rays from the cold outside. Opposite the window, stone carvings of Laurelin and Telperion were mounted to the wall, and silver stars seemed to shine from the stone on the floor beneath their feet. The office was beautiful indeed, but Elrond strangely found that he did not like this space.
Despite all the light that was found within the room, to Elrond’s surprise, there was no fireplace within, and this struck him as a little odd. Despite the lack of fire, the room wasn’t chilly however, for a certain warmth radiated from within, even as the Lady’s eyes regarded them beneath a cautious facade. Elrond moved his eyes from her, and he saw that four chairs had been place within a circle. He quickly deduced that this is where they would sit for the meeting, but he made no move for the chairs until the instructions to do so had been made.
Instead, he let his eyes continue taking in the room. The furniture here was just as ornate and luxurious as Elrond was use to, but the carvings and materials used in this space seemed cold and hard to him. The colors were in whites and blues, and had a pristine appearance that reminded Elrond of the blue reflection of ice cycles against the hard and crusted snow. And the robes that Galadriel and Celeborn wore were congruent with the colors of the room, which in turn made the two of them seem cold and distant, as if they too were part of the furnishings within the room. And within Elrond’s mind they seemed as if they were already lost and sundered from them. The serious expression that the Lady continued to wear made the atmosphere all the more sombre.
Erestor and Elrond finally took the seats that Celeborn pointed for them to sit on, and they offered their greetings to them now. Elrond delivered all the greetings that Gil-galad and Cirdan had asked that he give to them, and he saw that this pleased them both. After the pleasantries of their greetings, Galadriel’s deep blue eyes then pulled everyone’s attention to her, for it was evident that she was ready to begin this meeting.
“Let us not delay in relaying now what information you seek for Gil-galad, for I know that a great worry has now impressed within his mind and causes him uncertainty.” Galadriel said, and her face relaxed with kindness and with an unexpected warmth.
“It is true what Gil-galad suspects, for Celeborn and I indeed will leave these lands for Eregion, for in my heart, I am called to the east. I can not dwell in these lands anymore.” Galadriel wasted no time with revealing her intentions.
Even though he knew that these were the words that he would hear from Galadriel this day, Elrond still felt a singe of sadness pierce his heart, nonetheless. For it was very true that the loss of Galadriel in these lands was dear indeed, and he instantly understood that Lindon would never be the same.
“Would it be too bold for me to ask why it is that you leave our lands?” Elrond asked, even as he saw that Galadriel’s eyes grew more reserved and distant, as if she minded now to not disclose all that was within her mind.
And when she answered, her eyes grew with intensity, and hinted on future times to come that were sinister and wrought in strife. “It is a distant call that stirs me, and forces me to lands unknown. It is a call of regret and of uncertainty, for it haunts me day and night. I can do no else but heed what pulls at me, else peace I will not find.”
Both Elrond and Erestor studied Galadriel, and they pondered what her words truly meant. Her face was now shaded with the uncertainty that she faced, and her eyes shone with a great anticipation but also with a wonderment. Celeborn as well was awash in mystery, and he remained silent on the matter, content it seemed to allow Galadriel to explain their course of action.
Elrond could not still his worry that had risen within his mind, and Galdriel’s words reminded him of what Cirdan had spoken of. And when his eyes were pulled to her, he saw that her eyes bore into him, for her thoughts as well were focused on what was in his mind. He could fell her mind within his own, and an understanding came to him that she could read everything thought that came to him in this moment.
“You are thinking of Cirdan.” She said to Elrond, and her eyes seemed to demand that he disclose to Celeborn what Cirdan had said to him.
“Yes.” Elrond answered. “For the words that you spoke of echo what he said to us when we stayed in Mithlond, just before we journeyed here. He too spoke of a distant future that is forming, which also causes within him a great disquiet and an unrest of spirit.”
“He fears that our watchful peace may soon be ending.” Galadriel responded, and her eyes seemed to reflect the woes of ages long ago.
“Does what whisper on far horizons come to you as well?” Elrond asked her, curious if the Valar had granted Galadriel any visions of what this all really meant.
Galadriel’s eyes closed on hearing Elrond’s question, and for a moment the room was silent while she seemed lost within her thoughts. And when her eyes finally opened once more, Elrond could see the long years of her strife and all of her sorrows, as she seemed to be reliving every grief that she had come to know in her long life. And when she finally spoke again, her voice was deep and laden with her ambiguity.
“Shadows grow on the horizon, but to where and when these visions belong to, I have not been shown. It is critical that we remain vigilant, and look to friends and to strangers for any wayward signs that might be telling. For the time being, I only feel uncertainty. I know that something profound is coming for us, although I know not what it is. The one thing that I am certain of however, is that I must go. I am pulled to the east, and so now far across the mountains will I dwell.”
“So you go not because of any growing enmity? I must have clarity about this worry, for I can not dispel it from my mind. It tells me that there is much more to this, and that something terrible stirs within the shadows.” Erestor said, for he little believed Galadriel’s words. He believed that there was more to their decision to leave than what Galadriel was willing to disclose to them.
“Why ever would you think that?” Celeborn responded with a voice that was emphatic, and his deep eyes darkened, as if he took a great insult by the question. “Does Gil-galad hold us in the same regard as those who openly grumble against him now?”
“Gil-galad did wonder if Oropher’s words had reached you.” Erestor responded, for he would not back down without asking what he truly sought to know. “For he knows that he has a power over others, and has convinced a host to join him in his departure to the east.”
“Oropher is of a different matter all together.” Galadriel responded before Celeborn could offer a retort in his annoyance. “I fear that he will never reconcile with us, and my mind will not dispel that his spite will yet be his doom. He has not taken council with us for many years now, and has sundered himself even from his kinsman Celeborn. It is not him that we heed, however, although many have followed him into the east, and many more will go.”
Galadriel paused in her speech and she smiled, kindly, genuinely, for she held no malcontent for anyone here. “We go not because of discontent or of any growing discord, for our alliance to Gil-galad will never falter. We will always look to him and Cirdan as confidants, for I know that our fates will ever be tied to one another. And in those distant tomorrows, we will answer what is called of us from him.”
“And now you know without a doubt that it is not because of Oropher that we leave. But this is not the case with the others, for they have heard and believe his words.” Celeborn added, and the anger in his voice was absent once more.
Elrond looked to Erestor, whose deep grey eyes seemed to ponder what had been said, but Elrond could not discern if Erestor was satisfied with what he heard from Galadriel and Celeborn. And for his part Erestor kept his silence, and questioned Galadriel and Celeborn no further on that topic.
“I am glad to hear that our ties will not be severed.” Elrond said with relief in his voice. “And some of what you told me, I have come to learn myself, for I spoke with Thranduil, and he has told me that he will leave with another group. And into the east, they will dwell with Oropher.”
“Yes, Thranduil does leave as well.” Celeborn responded. “And I could not convince him to join with us and abandon the spite that has formed with those who cleave to Oropher.” His voice held a hint of lingering sadness as he spoke his words.
“Gil-galad fears that we are breaking beyond recourse, and would seek to know what is causing this discord.” Elrond said with sadness in his voice, for he little understood this exodus from Lindon, even though he had heard Galadriel’s words.
“Some wounds will never heal, and the illusion of our desired mending and reconciliation is over now. There was never unity here in these lands, but only the deception of one. Gil-galad understands this.” It was Celeborn who answered now, and his voice was transparent with his weariness.
“I have spoken with my kin who head to the east, and it is true that they seek a life away from these lands and away from Gil-galad’s keep. There are vast settlements beyond these lands, and their aim is to merge with those whose lands we have never touched. It is us they reject. And they will no longer have us tied with their affairs, for their aim is to sunder themselves forever from us.”
“But why?” Erestor asked, and his voice was transparent with his confusion on this matter. “These years of healing I thought had brought us together, for the blood from years ago has seemed to been washed away.”
“Even though the lands have ceased to cry out with the blood that was spilt from yesteryear, those memories still haunt those who survived it. Pain has a way of turning to incurable wounds upon the soul, and such wounds will turn to bitterness and rancor. This is something that Gil-galad could not stop from happening, for the seeds of this discontent were planted long ago. What has been festering below the surface has finally boiled into rage untamed. There is nothing that Gil-galad can do to mend this rift between our people. Only by leaving and sundering themselves from us can they ever truly begin to heal and to live in happiness again.”
“I fear that these divisions will cause us only more grief in the years to come.” Elrond said. Even though he understood why they left, he knew that by doing so, their security had been greatly diminished.
Galadriel only nodded in response to his comment, for they all knew that what had been set in motion could not be stopped.
“Do you know if Celebrimbor will return? Or will he remain in Eregion?” Erestor asked.
“He will not return, for I feel his fate is bound to those lands now.” Galadriel responded, and she spoke no more on the topic of Celebrimbor.
A silence then filled the room, for everyone knew that there was little more to say in regards to Galadriel’s and Celeborn’s decision. What had been decided was already cast, and the change of their society was fixed now. There was no point to further question anyone’s actions and decisions.
“I believe that a question I have now needs to be asked.” Celeborn interjected, changing the subject to something other. “Would you both consider leaving with us, for I would like to have you both within our service. I feel that your talents are needed in the east, and I truly covet what you both could offer.”
Erestor seemed to consider the question, while Elrond instantly shook his head no to what Celeborn offered to him.
“As great of an honor as your proposition is, I will have to decline it, for I have pledged my service to Gil-galad, and him alone. Even though a stream of people go to the east, I will remain in Lindon. I do not believe that I ever pass over the mountains to dwell.”
Elrond then looked to Erestor, who only remained silent on the matter, but it seemed to him that a great wrestling occurred within his mind.
“I am sorry to hear your words.” Celeborn replied, and Elrond could see that he meant what he said. “For we could certainly have used your skills in Eregion. Now we will both go our own ways, and we will simply remain as distant allies.”
“Will you go to Gil-galad before you depart Lindon?” Elrond asked, curious if he would see them again before they left into the east.
“Our path will not led us to his halls, but I can not say if our paths will never cross again.” Galadriel answered, and her voice was low with a sort of melancholy. “The decisions that Gil-galad makes for Harlond are now his alone, for we will not impose our thoughts on these lands any longer.”
A silence now filled the room, as the answers that Gil-galad had sought were transparent now. Just as Gil-galad suspected, Galadriel and Celeborn would leave, and would seek out lands of their own. Elrond could only be grateful that their ties were not yet broken, for that was the only reassuring news that he had come to learn this day. It gave him a sort of hope, even as somber and ephemeral as it was.
“Do you depart back to Gil-galad tomorrow?” Celeborn asked them, curious as to when they would depart his halls.
“Yes, for we were not given leave for tarrying here. Soon the road will open back up to us, and we will pass through Mithlond, and then with Cirdan, back to Gil-galad’s halls.”
“Bring with you our goodwill and our blessings to both Cirdan and to Gil-galad. And if we see them not before we leave, please let them know that we will ever be their true and loyal allies, wherever we may dwell.” Celeborn asked of them.
The meeting was now over and they stood to exchange their words of goodbye. Before they left, Erestor and Elrond listened to Celeborn’s final words.
“Tonight, please join both Galadriel and me for dinner, for I do not know when we will dine again in such peaceful times as we have now.”
- - - -
Caring not to dine at the lunch that was now preceding in the dinning hall, Elrond headed out to a garden that overlooked the cliffs of the Gulf of Lhun. He sought the solitude of this specific garden as a way to pass the time before dinner, for the garden was isolated and was far from the halls of Galadriel and Celeborn. Elrond’s heart now beat with the anticipation of returning home, but his thoughts remained conflicted. Elrond needed the distraction of nature now, even if it was veiled beneath the heavy frost of early winter.
He entered into the garden and although the spirits of the plants and trees spoke to him only in soft whispers of weariness, Elrond still could feel his own soul soar with their communion, and his heart unexpectedly burst with his excitement of returning back to Gil-galad. He wasn’t sure why his emotions turned as they did, for it was as if the winds had reversed them. There was simply no other explanation that came to him now.
Where once the day had been gentle, now the persistent winds had returned, and they blew with a ferocity that was almost overwhelming. However, tall and giant evergreens guarded this garden, and a sort of calm enveloped this space here. Even though Anor still hung high in the sky as she was making her descent to the maritime horizon, the air remained very cold, and Elrond’s breath danced before him when he exhaled. He watched in almost amusement as it hung in the air like the shards of a broken promise, before it dissipated within the streams of the wind.
Elrond thought that in summer, this garden must have been beautiful, lush and alive with the greens of the trees and the beauty and scents of the plants. But in the beginnings of winter, the plants here were brown and seemed as if dead, and they were encased within ice, which masked their essence. But despite what he saw, Elrond found that he liked the garden in this state, for it was like an empty promise, stripped bare and poignantly beautiful, trapped beneath a thin and transparent layer of deceit. It spoke deeply to his soul, for it paralleled his own life, for he too was trapped in a deceitful game.
And Elrond’s emotions once again changed, as if they were indeed bound with the winds that blew so aimlessly over these lands. He couldn’t help but wonder about those words that Gil-galad would not say to him, and he longed to know if what he had been given from Gil-galad was fleeting or if it was everlasting. For it too was like a broken promise, and one which tormented him greatly. And his heart felt sadness since he feared that he would never come to learn what really was within Gil-galad’s heart. Not even the return home might not bring the answers to his questions.
“So your words were spoken with Galadriel and Celeborn this day. Tell me, did you come to learn all of what you sought?” Thranduil asked Elrond, as he suddenly came to step beside him in his walk through the garden.
Elrond looked to Thranduil with surprise in his eyes. He hadn’t heard or seen him approach, for the frozen earth had not given his footsteps away. But yet here he was beside him, as if he had materialized suddenly from thin air alone.
This day Thranduil’s silver hair hung loose, and it blew freely within the wind, untamed like mithril streams of silk. He wore a cloak of forest green that was clasped with a silver brooch fashioned in the shape of the moon, and within his hand, he carried a book that appeared old and worn. Elrond could not make out what the book was about. He wondered about it only briefly before he answered Thranduil’s question.
“My words were spoken, yes, but instead of uncovering the truth of the matter, I have only came to find more questions than which I had before.” Elrond answered Thranduil’s question, and he let a smile cover his face.
“Riddles upon riddles. Is that not ever how it goes?” Thranduil too returned Elrond’s smile, and his eyes shone with a jovial mirth that had been absent just a day before.
Elrond wondered at the change of his mood, but he didn’t press Thranduil further about it. Instead he let his mind only entertain the topic that Thranduil spoke of, for it was also of great interest to him.
“Indeed it does, and I should be use to this by now. But I wished to learn more, for I thought that I would have been able to uncover more than what I had during the meeting.”
Elrond stopped walking, and his eyes peered deep into Thranduil’s eyes when he too stopped and looked directly at him. And Elrond held Thranduil’s gaze long, as if he might discern some of the secrets that he wished to know. But nothing was revealed from within Thranduil’s eyes, for they held his secrets well.
“Perhaps the reason that you could not decipher more is because someone prevented you from doing so.” Thranduil said, and he became even more unreadable, and over his face an indifference came.
“Yes, I think that this is true. But even so, I saw a light within Galadriel’s eyes that caused my soul to shudder. This she did not mask to me, although I know not what it means.”
Elrond saw that Thranduil raised a single eyebrow at his words, and he seemed to ponder what it was that he had said. But instead of pressing Elrond further for any details, his eyes only closed, as if he too thought of their unknown future.
They then continued their walk, and the path that they took in the garden led them to an alcove which was built into the trees. Elrond motioned for Thranduil to sit beside him, and he did, for both were glad to find reprieve from the cold wind. Elrond watched as Thranduil smoothed down his hair, and he also brushed his own hair out, mirroring Thranduil’s actions, for the wind had tousled his as well.
“Are you ready to depart tomorrow? For we leave before the sunrise.” Elrond asked as he now broke the silence that had fallen between them.
“As ready as ever.” Thranduil said, and he moved his gaze back to Elrond. “For ever does it seem that our dawn is breaking, and change is forever set in motion for us. Some things seem never to endure, except for uncertainty.”
Elrond raised an eyebrow at Thranduil’s words, for what he said little reflected the shine of mirth that had reflected from within his deep green eyes. His face was no longer masked, but now looked calm and content, and his step had carried a light tread when they had walked through the garden. Indeed Thranduil’s whole presence today had contrasted so strongly with his own mood. And Elrond wished that he too could walk this day with a step that was light of heart, and he wished that his eyes shone with a light that relayed his own true happiness.
“Who has caused your heart to mourn so, Elrond?” Thranduil asked, rousing Elrond from his thoughts. “For I can feel that it is broken, and your mind leaves you weary with your unsettling thoughts.”
Elrond’s eyes narrowed, as he was a little unsure how Thranduil could discern this information so easily from him. Had he been so transparent as to have revealed all the emotions that had crashed within his heart? At any rate, the concern that Thranduil had for him was painted across his face, and to Elrond, Thranduil felt like he was a close friend to him now.
“Remember when you told me the story of that forlorn maiden who pinned so much over the one who would never return her love?” Elrond asked, as he chose to respond to Thranduil’s words with a memory that often came to him.
Thranduil closed his eyes, and a smile crossed his face as he recalled what Elrond spoke of. “Why yes, if my memory is right, I told you that story one day when we were both caught in some rather tedious task of watching batches of hemlock boil for hours on end. We were so bored just watching it boil, that I had to tell you a story, just to help the time pass. Elrond, do tell me, what now brings your mind to remember it?”
“There was this line from that story that will not leave my mind.” Elrond responded and those words that Thranduil had told him long ago welled within his mind. He saw that Thranduil gave him his entire attention, for he very much seemed intrigued, so Elrond continued to speak of what was on his mind.
“A dream that can be, for you were a dream that never was, and my love for you will always be…” Elrond started to say that line from the story that always tore at his soul, but then he stopped, and his voice trailed off.
“Why that line, Elrond?” Thranduil asked when he knew that Elrond would not continue speaking.
Elrond sighed, and his eyes closed for a moment before he responded to Thranduil.
“It reminds me of the ending, when the maiden only found peace when she faded into the folds of the forest, and she was seen again no more. But what if those embers of love never truly died for her, and she just lingered ever in the shadows of her melancholy? What then, Thranduil? What if she is forever lost within her pinning? Can one really be forced to remain caught within an endless loop of cravings and of regret?”
Elrond found himself asking his fears aloud, as he now wished that he had never come to taste the love that he had for Gil-galad. Regret pounded through his mind, and his heart again beat cold with the bitterness of his foolishness for falling to his King’s whims. He had allowed himself to be led by his own weakness, and all he could fell was regret.
Thranduil regarded Elrond’s words and he took in the discord that echoed from him, for he understood that this conversation was very serious and dear to Elrond. It was personal even, and Thranduil couldn’t help but feel sadness for him. He pondered before he chose the words for his response, for he understood that Elrond needed a friend in this hour.
“I would caution to say that more regret would be had for never knowing what has been offered. Remember, Elrond, that this story is one of not surrendering to the unknown, and of never taking chances in life. It is about accepting defeat and not realizing that other paths in life might open up to you, even when you think that what you want will never come to be. It is a cautionary tale, Elrond, and it reminds us to take risks in life. To me, the fate of the maiden is a far worse fate than that of taking risks, and then coming to find regrets and heartache in the process. It is the only way that we can truly experience, and it is the only way that we can truly live.”
“I here what you say, and although I understand, I am not so certain.” Elrond responded to Thranduil’s words. “For I was nothing but a fool to let myself be lured by a false promise. In fact, I caused myself to believe that a promise would be made to me, when clearly none was ever there in the first place.” Elrond said, surprised that he opened up so much to Thranduil. He lowered his gaze before he closed his eyes, as the pouring of all his uncertainties crashed within his heart once more.
Thranduil seemed to take in all of Elrond’s words, and he studied him with curious but kind eyes. And when he spoke to Elrond again, his voice grew softer, and gentler, and held the hints of his friendship and of his concern.
“I do not believe the words that you say, for I have never known you to be foolish in anything that you have done.” Thranduil pulled Elrond’s eyes back on him, and he commanded that his gaze remain on him alone.
“You are like a force of great wonder, and your brilliance compares with none. Whoever holds the affections of your heart is very fortunate indeed, and should count themselves as blessed. I am not sure who has cast such sorrow into your heart, but it is most cruel that someone has left you in such a state.”
Thranduil’s voice was like a lull, and Elrond could do no other but listen and believe what it was that he said to him. He hadn’t known that Thranduil thought so highly of him, but here during this visit, more and more Thranduil revealed just how highly he regarded him. Elrond’s heart uplifted when he heard the words that were spoken to him, and despite his troubles, he smiled back at Thranduil.
“Thank you Thranduil, for your words are what I needed to hear the most in this hour. And now I can journey back to my home with a lighter heart, and can do so with gladness in knowing that you will be by my side.”
“That is right.” Thranduil said, and Elrond could see that his eyes seemed to grow cloudy with his thoughts.
“Even though we have already spoken about our travel tomorrow, it is only now that those words have resonated so profoundly to me.” Thranduil said, and his mind seemed to spin on something entirely different. He suddenly stood, and his eyes looked off into the distance, as if he suddenly remembered that he had been expected somewhere, and was late to that matter.
“Tomorrow is our day of travel, and long will the road ever be for me in these days to come.” Thranduil said, and then his voice trailed off, and he looked at the book in his hand. He held his silence, and he seemed to forget that Elrond was before him. But soon enough, his attention was back on Elrond, and his eyes were pensive, but ever warm and affable.
“Excuse me Elrond, for I must take my leave now. I am glad that your heart is lighter now, for no longer can I tarry here. Now the time has come in which I must prepare myself for my last journey to Farlond.”
And Elrond bid Thranduil goodbye and he watched as he disappeared beyond the keep of the garden, and away from his line of sight. He wondered a little of the task that had called to Thranduil, but the fact that they were not close had kept Elrond from asking him many questions this day that had risen within his mind.
By now, Anor had shifted her position as she made her way ever closer to the horizon where the sea met the sky. The day was growing colder, and even in the enclosed garden the wind surged in with a force that blew Elrond’s dark hair all around him. The cold was growing stronger, but yet Elrond lingered.
But as the sun waned in its strength, and the eventide crept ever closer, Elrond grew tired of the garden. The garden was now cast in long shadows, and a dreariness had settled over this place. Elrond mused on the reflection of the garden, and it seemed to him to be a reflection of his own state of mind. Since the setting was little helping his mood, and was only making him grow more dour and exhausted, Elrond decided to head back to his rooms.
The walk back was long, and once again Elrond was faced with the punishing winds that battered the southern shores of the gulf. Elrond pulled his cloak tighter around his frame, and he wondered over this harsh start of winter on their lands. It would be a long one, he reckoned, but he knew that they were ready for anything that nature might throw their way. If only they would be ready for everything that would come to them, Elrond thought.
Elrond continued his walk, and Thranduil’s words began to resound within his mind, and they grew louder with each step that he took. Thranduil was right, he was not a fool. It was not with himself that he should have been chiding all of these days. It was Gil-galad who was acting absurd. For who would be foolish enough to reject what Elrond so freely offered? As he allowed himself to change his mindset, Elrond’s mood began to lift and he began to feel better, and his mind was far less troubled at this day’s ends than what it had been when the day had started.
With the garden long behind him, Elrond turned down the street that would lead him straight to Galadriel’s and Celeborn’s halls. In this area it seemed almost empty, for most everyone had already made their way home for the day. Elrond continued on his way, and soon the familiar site of the citadel came into his vision. He hurried his step, eager to take shelter from the powerful winds that battered anything within their path.
Just before he entered into the halls, Elrond stopped, for he caught sight of Erestor and the Lady from last’s night dinner. He saw that she and Erestor were deep in conversation, and they both looked content and lost within each other’s company, oblivious to everything else around them. It seemed to Elrond, that not even the cold and harsh wind, or the dimming of the land penetrated to their perception, for they were so entranced with each other. And Elrond instantly realized that the look that they gazed upon each other with was indeed affection. It seemed to be the kind of affection that could easily turn to love. And perhaps, it already was.
Elrond stopped in his walk, and instantly feelings of regret and doubt flooded through his mind once more. His confidence was again shattered, and his heart felt pained, for he had never seen Gil-galad gaze at him with eyes as sincere as Erestor’s were. Nor had Gil-galad ever blocked out the power of nature to behold just him alone. And Elrond instantly knew that the eyes that Gil-galad had gazed on him with was only lust. Indeed, it had never been with love.
Quickly, he turned away from the scene that caused his heart to bleed, and he walked with a quicker pace back to his rooms. While part of his mind was nothing but glad for Erestor, his heart just couldn’t dull the emotions that Gil-galad had put him through. Soon he was back in his rooms, and Elrond non too gently shut the door behind him and he flung himself onto his bed. It was all pretty dramatic, but Elrond cared not that he acted in such a manner. There wasn’t anyone within, so what was the point of acting so prim at this time?
With his head buried in a pillow, Elrond’s mind turned to Erestor, and he sat up, as he suddenly felt another sort of sadness fill his heart. This time it was for Erestor, because Elrond knew that the Lady counsellor would be leaving these lands with Galadriel and Celeborn. Erestor too would come to know a yearning that simply could not come to be.
Despite the sadness that he felt for him, Elrond almost smiled, and he let his mind ponder more over Erestor. His friend was simply stunning, with long raven hair and lips that were sensuous. And he had a mind that was quick with wit and was astute with insight beyond his years. Elrond felt a little perturbed that it wasn’t Erestor that he pinned after, for he knew that he would make a more caring lover than Gil-galad ever could be.
Gil-galad.
Elrond let that beautiful name run through his mind again, and he gripped his hands into fists, as he felt a surge of both lust and hate pore through his heart. In this moment, he both loved and hated Gil-galad, and those emotions burned like a fire deep within his heart. Deep his affections for Gil-galad imprinted within, and he doubted that anyone else would ever capture his heart like he had done. And in this moment, Elrond knew that he would forever be a prisoner of his love for Gil-galad.
It was a fate that Elrond hated to accept, but he knew that he could not force his feelings to change. It would only be Gil-galad that he loved. This was something that he simply could not fight.
- - -
The time for dinner came, for Anor had long been chased from the sky by Ithil who now shone bright. Dotted within the night sky were thousands of stars, whose lights pierced through the clear mantle of black. Not a cloud hung in the sky, for the evening’s brutal winds had blown them away.
Elrond paused in this early night, and he took in the stars. They reminded him of the night that he had gone to Gil-galad and had confronted him. The distant and cold light of the stars were just as harsh to his eyes as they had been that night. And the memory of Gil-galad and the star light seemed to materialize as a phantom before him. Elrond had to close his eyes and look away, for he little wanted his mind to entertain such obsessions this night.
He knew that soon the dinner that he had been invited to would be commencing, and he debated about going to join with Celeborn and Galadriel. He little felt like attending, but he understood that his duty as an emissary to Gil-galad required that his presence be made. It would be a slight for him to refuse the invitation, so in reluctance, he dressed himself and made his way to the dinning hall.
Within the hall, Galadriel and Celeborn were already present, and so was Erestor. It was evident that they had been waiting on him and Elrond felt a rush of embarrassment for making his hosts wait. A quick scan of the room revealed that no-one else was present. Elrond wondered slightly about this, surprised that Thranduil was not present, or any of their counsellors for this dinner. And he wondered of their absence, but he did not ask of it.
Elrond politely inclined his head as he acknowledged Galadriel’s and Celeborn’s greetings, and he took the seat at the table that Celeborn pointed that he take. The table was already set with food and the wine had already been poured, and once again, Elrond was reminded of just how late he was. With an apologetic look, he smiled to both Celeborn and Galadriel before he looked at the food that was already placed on his place. Elrond could feel a great hunger well from within his stomach, for he was very hungry, due to the fact that he had missed both breakfast and lunch this day.
A symphony of flavor burst onto his tongue when he took the first bite of food, and despite wanting to devour what was on his plate, Elrond remained refined, and he constrained his hunger, as he matched the slow dining pace that Celeborn and Galadriel maintained. The wine that was paired with the food was very good, and mirrored the excellence of the wine that had been served the night before. Elrond was grateful for the excellence of this meal, and he was now very glad that he had not skipped out on the dinner, like he had debated to do earlier. Soon he would be back on the road, and his meals would be light.
The idle chatter that commenced was not obtuse this night, nor was it entirely oblivious, but was instead spoken out of politeness to help pass their last night here in Harlond. The chatter was meant to be something that was pleasant and more lighthearted than what they had spoken of in the morning, for Celeborn cared to send them off with lighter hearts and not with the worry of future and distant times that may never come to pass. Elrond was grateful for the abatement of worry that was not to be had in this hour, for the days that he had spent here had been wrapped within such troubles.
Even as lighthearted as the conversation was that commenced this evening, Elrond could just not lighten his heart, and he felt a melancholy tug at him. Where Erestor was perceptive to the charming meal, Elrond could only focus instead on a distant sadness that held his heart bound. There was nothing that he could do to break free from these feelings, but he feigned a smile nonetheless, for he little wanted Galadriel to pry further into his thoughts.
And for her part, although Elrond knew that Galadriel could sense his discord, she was astute enough to understand that he little felt like discussing what lay heavy on his mind. Instead, she regarded him with kind and gentle eyes, and she expressed her great esteem for the work that he was doing in Gil-galad’s service as a counsellor. Indeed her words meant much to Elrond, and he truly understood just how noble she really was. She was a force like no other here on Arda, and her departure from Lindon would leave a void that could never be filled.
The dinner continued to commence, and servants brought in bowls of apples and honey, and a different wine was now poured. Elrond delighted at the wine, and he savored the sweet honey and the tartness of the apples. The meal continued to delight his senses, and he found himself feeling at ease and contented, but within the back of his mind, a sadness lingered, for he knew that Galadriel and Celeborn would no longer be a part of Lindon.
When finally the night had grown late in the hour, and Ithil hung high within the night sky, the dinner ended. Goodbyes were exchanged, and Elrond parted ways with Celeborn and Galadriel. Although he had expressed a sadness for their parting, deep within his heart, he held onto the knowing that this goodbye was not forever. He knew that the Lady’s words would be true. They would meet again, for the winds of strife would be sure to find them again, and he realized that this was in fact not a goodbye, but was just an interlude until such times would come to find them once more.
Elrond then bade Erestor goodnight, and he saw that he quickly departed as if he was expected by someone. Elrond suspected what Erestor might be up to and he could only smile, although it was laden with the knowing that this would be a bitter night for him. With nothing else to do, Elrond began the walk back to his rooms. But before he went to retire for the night, he decided to walk the long and winding halls, for he now wanted to explore this citadel one last time as it was under the rule of Celeborn and Galadriel.
Instead of turning down the familiar hall that would lead him to his bedchambers, Elrond took another passage way, and he moved slowly and he took in what he could under the soft lantern glow that illuminated the building at this late hour. No one was around, except himself and the silent guards. And the solitude of the empty halls seemed fitting to him. Throughout his walk, Elrond could see that the walls were all carved from stone, and they were light gray and white, although they were cast dark under the shadows of night.
Statues shrouded beneath the shadows of night peered at him as he passed them, and had it not been for their lifelessness, Elrond would have thought them to be the guards who were stationed throughout Celeborn and Galadriel’s halls. The guards that he passed stood just as silent and stoic as the statues were, and they cared not to engage him with any words as he passed them. And as Elrond walked by the guards, he wondered just how many of them would stay, and how many might make the journey east with Celeborn and Galadriel. He simply didn’t know the answer to this question, because he had not obtained any numbers from the Lord and Lady. All that he knew was that those details would be revealed to them once the time for their departure had arrived.
Intense unease flooded his mind once more, for the sight of the guards brought his mind to return to Galadriel’s secrets. Not wanting to obsess on such thoughts this night, Elrond decided that his walk had now ended, and he made his way back to his rooms. The road would be long, and with his travels soon on him, he knew that he needed a peaceful rest, and one that was free of worry.
Back in his rooms, Elrond packed his belongings for the trip back home, and this task did not take him long, for he had packed lightly. By now, Ithil guarded the night, and the frozen landscape was awash with the light of the stars and of the moon. With all that needed to be done this night, the pulls of sleep soon manifested themselves to him, and the whispers of sleep called out to him. He saw no reason to fight what his body wanted to do, so Elrond let himself sink into his soft bed. Soon the whispers of dreams danced within his mind, and he allowed himself to succumb to the lulls of sleep.
- - - - -
To be continued.
Not beta read and I apologize for the erros.
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