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Scarred Fate	By : Massanie Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2051 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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- 41
CHAPTER 40: Like The Dove Against The Falcon

CHAPTER NOTES

WARNING: dub-con.

When I wrote this I had to think of a German poem I read a long time ago. "Des Pfarrer's Tochter von Taubenhain" or "the pastor's daughter of 'Dovegrove'". It is about the daughter of a pastor who is seduced by a lord, which in the end leads to her death. The lines which kept replaying in my mind throughout this were (roughly translated):

"…

There it whispers and moans so fearfully;

There it clatters and flutters and balks

Like the dove against the falcon

So much for the chapter title, now to the chapter…

SCRIPTS:

'Thoughts'; ~visions~; **mind speech**; -l-Letters-l-

Standing from the dinner table, Fiondil extended his hand in invitation; hesitantly Erestor took a steadying breath before laying his own into that of his captor, cousin and husband, being rewarded with a soft smile.

With his other hand Fiondil took the bowl of fruits and then he guided his husband behind the partition again where steam ascended from the hot water. Never letting go of Erestor's clammy fingers, he put down their desert on a side table and turned towards the younger elf.

Erestor felt his stomach flutter as his cousin begged him closer with a gentle tug on his wrist and he watched apprehensively as Fiondil sat down on the rim of the bathtub, slowly loosening the cord at the collar of his shirt with his free hand. As if his feet were not his own, as if they moved of their own volition, Erestor inched closer to his husband, his breathing quickening and his heart hammering madly in his chest.

"We are only going to bath my dear."

But the voice was already husky with what Erestor refused to acknowledge as desire.

He felt the sun-kissed hand tighten around his white wrist, leaving him no escape, pulling him closer. Warm lips once again claimed his, but more forcefully than before, while the hands sneaked around his waist, travelling downwards along his spine, groping and teasing on their way. Erestor tried hard not to shiver at the gentle ministrations, tried not to feel lightheaded at the undeniably and disturbingly good sensations that flooded his body, but failed. He had no choice but to gasp as those hands cupped his behind, squeezing, kneading.

Immediately a brisk tongue used the opportunity to gain entrance and plunder the luscious cavern, trying to entice his counterpart into a more active role. Closing his eyes and fighting back the tears of equal shame and fear Erestor allowed the intrusion. He would submit, he had sworn to do this. But it was not of his own volition, these things done to him.

'But they feel good' a persistent part of his mind spoke up nastily and would not be silenced.

With a shiver Erestor felt one of the warrior hands sliding up his back again, lifting his linen shirt in the process. 'A Elbereth, saes…'

Only when the blond pulled the garment over his husband's head did the kiss end, leaving his lips swollen and red and his chest heaving.

Nervously Erestor watched as Fiondil drew back a little bit to admire openly his well-muscled form. The bruises had faded and even the stomach wound and the injury from the arrow head that had been embedded in his shoulder were closed. Still the fresh scar tissue reminded the blond at how close he had been on losing Erestor.

And then there was the thin red line on his hervenn's throat, but Fiondil was trying to ignore that painful incident as he let his fingers ghost over the older scars the Orcs had left on the pale body before him.

"It was the first time that I was injured thusly." Erestor murmured, maybe to distract Fiondil a little bit, maybe to distract himself from his body's traitorous reactions.

'It's not only your body! *you* want…' he dared not finish the thought and bowed his head.

"And the last, for my beautiful husband, I will not allow anyone to hurt you ever again!"

Fiondil smiled and began to pull down Erestor's trousers. 'Please, no' The dark elf schooled his features and took a steadying breath as the blond started to kiss every inch of newly exposed skin, fascinating himself with the small shivers his actions elicited from the younger man. Yet he did not draw it out too much, as much for his own sake as for Erestor's. If Fiondil continued now he would not be able to stop and Erestor needed to be gently drawn out of his shell, needed time to realise the attraction that Fiondil knew to be there. And then all would fall into place.

He indicated Erestor with a gentle nudge to step out of his trousers and smiled as the dark beauty complied readily.

With a startled yelp Erestor wrapped his arms around Fiondil's neck as the blond scooped him up in his arms with a chuckle. Then he was eased down into the hot water gazing at his husband with large eyes, trying to ignore the affection looking back so intently. Those unrelenting unpredictable changes in his husband's behaviour made him feel so helpless, so vulnerable.

Fiondil shed his clothes slowly, teasingly, very much aware that his cousin tried hard not to look at him, and very much aware that he was failing, sending him flickering, apprehensive glances out of the corner of his eye. Grinning the blond went to join his hervenn. Lazily he sat down at one side, pulling the darker ellon to sit between his legs.

He was determined to make Erestor relax under his loving touches and so he ignored how the other tensed up against him. Instead he took a sponge from a side table and started to run it over Erestor's shoulders with firm but equally gentle strokes. Massaging the tense muscles he began to speak softly, trying to ease his husband's nerves.

"You have surpassed every expectation, Erestor. Over centuries I have planned, schemed but you brilliantly encountered my plans. And your strength; I never thought you could fight like that. Who taught you?"

Erestor glanced over his shoulder. "Glorfindel did."

Affectionately Fiondil tucked a black strand behind his husband's ear. "The famous balrog slayer? That explains your prowess with the sword. But how came he to be your teacher?"

"I asked him. When after I started to dream again my visions showed me violence and death I wished to learn how to fight, hoping that this would come in handy.

After six or seven decades I finally mustered the courage to approach lord Glorfindel. I told him that I had been threatened and asked him if he would teach me how to defend myself.

Naturally he wanted to tell Elrond and find the culprits but I answered that I wished to deal with this problem myself as I could not prove anything and that I would deny everything if he was to tell someone. Finally he agreed."

Behind him Fiondil started to attend to his hair, massaging in the scented soap. "Always so manipulative" the blond grinned.

"I did not want to be like that. My family made me be that way." He nearly had blurted out 'you made me be that way' but it was surely unwise to anger his captor like that.

"Do you regret it?"

Erestor did not answer at first, honestly contemplating over the question. "Regret is the wrong word, I guess. I don't know what I would have become if it were not for you all, so I cannot regret this. I cannot even regret my childhood, not having known something else, although I wish it had been different.

But I regret not having been able to save those soldiers whom have been killed by those humans. And I regret not having saved Dírhael. I even regret that the soldiers under Magron's command died."

"I love you. My intelligent, true, brave and compassionate mate. My hervenn."

Fiondil bowed forward and embraced his husband. Showering his shoulder and neck with kisses. Erestor found himself leaning against the strong body behind him and hated himself for seeking the comfort of someone who would have accepted the deaths of Elrond, Glorfindel and their small family to capture him.

But Fiondil was monitoring him closely and sensing that Erestor was about to fall into self-deprecation once again, he broke loose from the embrace and began to pour water over the black tresses, washing away the soap and disrupting Erestor's train of thought with a polite and clinical "Would you do my hair as well?"

His ploy seemed to work out splendidly and Erestor turned surprised just as his hervenn repositioned himself so that he sat with his back to Erestor.

Hesitant, gentle touches made Fiondil smile. Erestor washed his cousin's hair with careful fingers, massaging the soap in slowly and then drenching the sponge in the hot water and wringing it out over the blond scalp. He did not know what came over him but when he had finished his task he started to run the sponge over the blond's broad shoulders and then downwards over his back, hesitating at the thin red line that stood out harshly on the otherwise unblemished skin – a reminder of their fight.

"Forgive me." He whispered.

"I already did, even before you inflicted the wound, worry not."

Fiondil took the nearly forgotten bowl of fruits. Pleased with the development he took out a slice of peach and held it out for Erestor. His hand lingered a hand length in front of the other's lips, so Erestor could decide if he wanted to use his hands to take the soft fruit.

Erestor looked at his hervenn. He knew the choice that he was given: to solely fulfil his promise or to accept his husband's loving and caring gestures, embrace what the blond was offering and return something in kind.

The advisor knew he would die here, it was only a matter of time until the elven sickness took hold over him again as he had never been able to really cope with the rather violent visions. He didn't love Fiondil, but the blond would be able to ease his suffering and maybe even be good for him in his loneliness. The question was: was it betrayal to play along?

Erestor almost smiled grimly. No, whom would he betray by grasping at a final chance of a little bit happiness? There was no one waiting for him. Was it morally reprehensible? Very likely.

Long seconds passed by like hours. Fiondil swallowed disappointedly and began to pull back his hand. But then pale fingers laid themselves around his wrist, keeping his hand in place. Fascinated Fiondil stared at the black tresses as Erestor's head bowed and his lips closed around the sweet fruit and the fingers that held it.

The blond gasped as the agile tongue wrapped around his thumb licking off the sweet peach's juice. Black eyes met blue ones as Erestor silently begged his cousin to understand. This was not about love but about comfort, about easing pain and loneliness. But Fiondil only knew that Erestor had made the first step towards acceptance and love.

Nearly euphoric he eagerly took the next piece of fruit to see it vanishing between the soft rose petal lips.

Hesitantly Erestor drew closer to his cousin, sitting down between the blond's strong legs. His eyes never leaving the blue orbs in front of him, Erestor suppressed a shudder, seeing the lust and desire staring back at him so completely unveiled.

His pale hands reached for the bowl and he singled out a grape, bringing it to Fiondil's lips. Obligingly the blond took the fruit, kissing the retreating fingers as he did so.

They continued to feed each other until the bowl was nearly empty and the fire in the metal basket of the bathtub extinguished. Soon the water would cool down and then the relaxing effect would vanish with the warmth. Fiondil stood up, grasped a towel and opened it for Erestor. The smaller Elf stood with only a short moment of hesitation, immediately being enveloped in the linen.

The blond Mirkwood warrior secured the cloth around his own hips and started to dry his husband's hair with gentle movements, taking his time with that simple gesture of affection and smiling at the darkling as he felt him lean into the touch.

Afterwards he turned to his own blonde tresses and Erestor's nervousness returned as the distracting touches had ceased and he knew that it was finally time to fulfil his marital duties.

"Go to bed, melethen."

Inclining his head, Erestor rounded the other partition and came to stand in front of a large bed of light wood and light blue bed linen. Erestor was glad that it was not silk or satin; he often felt cold these days and the smooth textures often worsened this feeling.

So this would be where he would lose his virginity. He had hoped to be dead before ever coming to this point, fearing the unpredictable traits of his cousin and not wishing for his first to be someone he did not love. But now he was even encouraging the tall blond ellon.

But he was so nice, gentle and considerate. Love and affection radiated from the blue eyes, blue like Glorfindel's.

Valar what was the matter with him? That creature was despicable, detestable. He had sent elves into certain death. He had blackmailed him into bonding with him.

And his eyes were so much paler than Glorfindel's and more calculating, an ice cold hue of blue.

Somehow he felt cursed: every elf he loved was happily married and the one – and only - elf that loved or even desired him, was a lunatic. He just did not know if he should be glad that his cousin was so ... considerate and even sweet towards him or if he should not be, as it was harder to hate him this way.

Slowly he climbed onto the bed. The sheets moving against his skin made him feel so very conscious of his naked state and he hurried under the blue blanket.

Lying back and curling up on the mattress he closed his eyes and waited for his husband to join him, drawing the blanket up to his chin. That was how Fiondil found him shortly after. He could not contain a quiet laugh at the childish gesture. Climbing on to the bed he crawled below the blanket next to Erestor.

"Look at me."

He waited for the black eyes to settle on his face. "I will make this good for you. I will be gentle and we will go slowly. I love you and I will never hurt you."

Erestor only stared back. "You said you would punish me ... or Thalion."

"I trust you to not give me reason, and then it will always be like this."

A slow sensual kiss followed, at least from Fiondil. Erestor only hesitantly participated.

This was oh so wrong; his cousin was fair but calculating and cold, only not towards him. He had forced him into this bond by threatening the twin's life. Erestor couldn't just go along because it was easier not to resist.

Kissing and flirting was one thing, allowing him to bed him totally another. Despite his earlier determination to try and make this work and spare him pain and humiliation he could not, would not continue like this, could not participate as if he wanted this.

"Touch me!" The blond demanded huskily, taking hold of one of the white hands and gently guiding it towards his chest.

Erestor's breathing quickened. No, he would not do this; even if this would make the whole situation unbearably worse, he needed to save something of himself, needed to save the last shred of a proud ellon. He would never be able to face his reflection in the mirror if he complied now.

"I promised to submit to you, not to participate or even find pleasure in it!" he hissed in a final attempt of defiance while he pulled back his hand.

CHAPTER END NOTES

ellon ~ male elf

a Elbereth ~ o Elbereth

saes ~ please

hervenn ~ husband

melethen ~ my love
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Scarred Fate