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The Dance On Water	By : redkiwi Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2174 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Tolkien's world (Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings/Hobbit), nor the characters from it. No money is made from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Glorfindel had strolled around Imladris without any preconceived route, and it was now by chance that he found himself by the mightiest and largest of the many waterfalls that flowed around Imladris. The mist and sound from the ever-falling water presented an ideal spot for the disenchanted or for the romantic to reflect by. It was nature at its best, inspiring and enchanting in its simplistic yet dramatic manifestation.
The sound of the falling water was a natural symphony to Glorfindel's ears, and he lowered himself on the cool and new grass of the spring. Beyond the sounds of the water, Glorfindel could make out gentle laughter from the inhabitants of Imladris ringing as bells, and the melodies of song. There was the singing of minstrels, and there was the singing of the birds. Their voices mixed together, blending with the sounds of the falling water, causing Glorfindel to become lost within the rich symphony. Troubled, and weary with his burdened mind, and from practice, he allowed himself to fall into reverie.
~~~~~~~~~
He was in a dream now:
This world was frightfully real. In it the forms of figures merged with the forms of walls, and he was the lone three-dimensional figure amidst the flat planes and angles of the others. His figure moved around the frozen dreadful images of familiar faces, posed with unfamiliar and strange expressions. The contorted bodies and faces pushed him ever forward in his dream. He glanced around only to see that the walls of people had been closing in on him, and he felt that he must run, or else he too would become a flat extension of the wall, as were the others.
So run he did; through room after room, the doors slammed behind him. Past frozen and dreadful bodies, he ran. Effortlessly his dash continued until a voice called out to him. It was a high soprano of a female singing the beloved song of the High Elves to their beloved Varda.
"A Elbereth!"
The song was puzzling to him as the voice repeated the verse over and over again.
Ah Varda, yes!
The flattened forms retreated away, leaving him alone. The Star-Queen had driven them away. The soprano had morphed into the sounds of flowing water, as new figures began to approach him within his dream. They were drained, grey and silent. Their sunken eyes were empty, as they didn't focus on him or anything. Their flowing dark garments draped about their bodies, and their sparse hair clung to their scalp down the sides of their heads. Despite the horrific picture they presented, Glorfindel didn't find them freighting. They were rather soothing to him in their slight quasi-flight past him.
A strong wind blew, and then they were gone. Their charred ashes and the now faint moans of their wails had been blown away with the wind.
He blinked, and Erestor was now before him. His face was grey with the ashes of those figures; his eyes were wild and haunted. In his dream, Glorfindel reached out to him, but before he could, a strong grip had captured his wrist. He looked down to see that it was Erestor who held him. His sharp fingernails dug into his skin, but he felt no pain. Glorfindel could fell the blood that poured down his wrist, and he wanted to scream when he looked back into Erestor' face.
That face was covered in his red blood that had been flowing down his wrist. Erestor was speaking to him, but his words were unknown to Glorfindel. They were high, and piercing, climbing ever higher until they hit a deafening crescendo.
~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel was shaking when he woke. Anor had changed her position in the sky, and the shadows fell at different angles, telling him that he had been asleep for quite some time. Slowly he rose, while he let the lingering feelings and images of his dream leave his mind. He knew that all dreams held messages and meanings, and that it would be wise for him to seek out a lore-master to help with the interpretation of his dream. Since within the dream Erestor was present, Glorfindel felt that it would be for the better to have the dream analyzed. For several nights he had been plagued with nightmares that he knew he couldn't keep ignoring.
Useful to Glorfindel was the fact that within Imladris, Elrond had several of the best lore-masters here. Elrond and Erestor were amongst the best of the lore-masters, but Glorfindel thought it better not to seek them out to interpret his dream. There was only one in all of Imladris that Glorfindel trusted with his dreams, and he headed there now.
In a few shot moments Glorfindel was knocking on the door to the house of the ancient lore-master Curumil. Glorfindel felt completely comfortable seeking Curumil's aid since this ancient elf had lived in Aman, and had accompanied the exiles back to Arda. Glorfindel had known Curumil since their days in Gondolin where he had lived before its ruin and fall.
Curumil's apprentice Celdulin answered the door, and he smiled when he saw him. "Lord Glorfindel, welcome. How may I help you?"
"Good day Celdulin. I wish to speak with Master Curumil, if that is possible."
"Do come in." Celdulin led Glorfindel into the small reception room that Curumil had for entertaining guests.
"If you would wait right here. Please have a seat, and I will announce your presence to Master Curumil." Celdulin left Glorfindel alone in the sparsely decorated, yet comfortable room.
Moments later, Celdulin returned. "Please follow me."
He led Glorfindel into the study, whose air hung and felt just as ancient as the elf that inhabited it. The study was filled with several large bookshelves, a large desk, and a cozy fireplace with two rather worn looking armchairs placed near it. The heavy smell of old parchment hung in the room that was rather scantily lit.
Curumil rose from behind his desk and greeted Glorfindel. He was rather tall, with a wiry body that was clad in a grey trimmed blue robe that reached and draped behind him on the floor. On his sleeves, Glorfindel noticed dark ink stains where the sleeves had brushed across the fresh ink when he wrote. His long black hair was tied back with a single mithril clasp, which caused his thick hair to fall down his back in a single braid.
His clear grey eyes sparkled in a friendly fashion when Curumil saw Glorfindel approach.
"Lord Glorfindel, how are you? It is a pleasant surprise to have your company today."
His soft but rich voice welcomed Glorfindel before he dismissed Celdulin, sensing that Glorfindel sought his aid. He then offered Glorfindel a seat.
"Master Curumil, I thank you for sparing your time to speak with me. I need your help with interpreting a dream that I had just this afternoon. I have been plagued with nightmares this last week, and I feel it is time for me to examine a dream."
"Of course, Lord Glorfindel. You know I have a deep interest in dreams, and that I am honored to help you. Dreams and visions they say, are the true mirror of our deepest desires, our strongest fears, and the underlying forces of our lives that remain subliminal to our comprehension."
He walked, chatting all the while, to the bookshelf that was nearest his desk where he selected a rather large and ancient volume from the middle shelf. He returned to his desk, and dipped his quill in a bottle of black ink, ready to write the words that Glorfindel would soon be speaking.
"You may begin. Tell me your dream, down to even the smallest detail."
Glorfindel meticulously recounted the disturbing dream that he had dreamt by the waterfall that afternoon. Curumil took down all the main elements of the dream, and then he slowly began to analyze the hidden meanings and messages. After several long moments, he finally began to speak his interpretation.
"Well, Lord Glorfindel, it is plain to see from this dream that you are greatly disturbed by your fears. The figures that you have described are of the dead. The dead are in conjunction with areas that are hidden and feared deep within us. That the figures were morphed with the walls suggests that they have become trapped by the fears that you ran from in your dream. They seemed freighting to you, since you fear those feelings.”
“The song and singing drove away those terrors, because singing represents expressing your feelings, and not being trapped by them. The ashes are those experiences, and knowledge from your past. That they had blown into the face of Erestor suggests that you fear that your past will carry over in your dealings with him, or that he will become exposed to your past actions.”
“The color red and the blood are connected with your attraction, and the actions within your dream convey your reluctance to act on your feelings towards Erestor. Does this interpretation surprise you?"
Curumil asked as he studied Glorfindel's reactions. Curumil knew both Glorfindel and Erestor well, and he knew that Erestor was distant and was most likely not interested in Glorfindel at all. He was fairly surprised himself to learn that Glorfindel had such deep-rooted feelings for the remote Erestor.
"No, I had suspected that meaning myself. If only the dream or you could have told me what to do to solve this riddle. I do thank you for the interpretation that you have given me. Good day, Master Curumil."
"It was my pleasure to help. I wish you the best, and I offer my support. If I were more versed in the ways of affection, I could be of more aid to you. But alas, I am simply one who has always preferred the solitude of study then that of being around others. It is a scholar's trait, I think."
He cleared his throat a little before he continued. "Though, might I add my input."
Curumil leaned forward as he capped the ink bottle on his desk. "I know Erestor well. I was an old friend of his family's, a colleague of his mother who was a lore-master in Lindon where I went to live after the fall of Gondolin. Oh, the stories I could tell you of Lindon back in those days under the rule of the High-King, but alas, you are not here to listen to such tales."
His grey eyes twinkled in nostalgic recollection before they snapped back to the present issue at hand.
"Now, I do not know Erestor's heart well enough to know if he shares the same feelings for you that you do for him. But believe me when I say that he is reachable, just as you yourself can be changed. Your dream is a message that is telling you that change will come, and you will either have to accept it, or you both will be the prisoners of your own fears and dead emotions."
Glorfindel had once again seated himself onto the slightly threadbare armchair situated near Curumil's desk. "You give sound advice for claiming not to know the ways of affection.”
Curumil laughed a little before he spoke again. His voice was grave with the serious topic that he now addressed. “Lord Glorfindel, I know that you once loved another with all of your heart, for those embers of your love are still charred upon your soul and heart. Do not let what happened with that other cloud over your interactions with Erestor.”
Glorfindel's eyes narrowed a little, and he wondered how Curumil could know of such affairs. His love for Thranduil had imprinted upon his heart a scar that time could never seem to heal. That indeed was true. But he hadn't realized that the love that he once had for Thranduil could still impact his current desires and fears.
“Thank you. I will try to go about my actions without the past dictating how I do so.”
Deciding to change the subject, Glorfindel said. “If I may ask, Master Curumil since you know Erestor well, could you give me some insight about his life? I know nothing about his history, and such information may be of use to me."
Curumil leaned back into his chair, and closed his clear grey eyes as if in deep deliberation. After several silent still moments he finally opened his eyes.
"I have always believed that if people do not speak themselves of the events in their life, then onlookers should never recount those events to inquisitive ears. Now, I know that you desire this information to help you with your dealings with Erestor, as you yourself just said that this information would be of great use to you. I too believe that it would. If I were to only just know that Erestor too has feelings for you, then I would give you some insight. I am sorry Lord Glorfindel, I simply can not tell you what it is you wish to know."
"It is alright, Master Curumil. There are others perhaps who will inform me. Again, I thank your for your help and insight. Good day to you." Glorfindel rose from the threadbare chair and waited for Curumil to speak.
"Yes, good day to you, Lord Glorfindel. If you do require my aid again with dream interpretation or for any reason at all, please do not hesitate to ask."
Glorfindel inclined his head respectively before he left Curumil's house, and retired to his rooms where his mind and body spun heavy with troubled thoughts. Within his dream, his hidden feelings of love for Erestor had finally been unearthed, but so had his long lost desires for Thranduil. Sighing, he threw himself onto his bed.
He hadn't any idea on how he would act on this newfound, yet incomplete knowledge though.
-------------------
The night sky was shrouded with dark clouds that obscured the stars this night. Erestor mused that nature reverberated exactly how his heart felt. His emotions and feelings for Glorfindel burned so brightly within his heart, yet his reluctance and fear veiled those feelings, keeping them from ever surfacing. Erestor could only turn his eyes away from the sky while he turned back to the task that had kept him occupied for hours now.
After he had finished his visit with his counsellor-friend, as he had promised to do earlier in the day, Erestor had returned to his own chambers to pass the night away in solitude, as he usually did. He had found his visit with his friend to be rather enjoyable, and his friend was able to help him pass the evening away in a rather cheerful fashion. They had played two games of chess with Erestor winning both, but more importantly to Erestor, his friend had not tried to bring up what was bothering him. Erestor suspected and knew that his friend was indeed mindful to his troubles.
Erestor dipped the end of his quill in a dark green bottle of ink before he dragged the tip across a smooth but fibrous page, perfect for capturing and absorbing placement of ink when one was illuminating. Across his desk were several bottles of colored-ink that he was using as he carefully illustrated a book on flora. Normally his quill would dance as he drew, but tonight the subtle shifts of greens and blues that formed the shadows of a well-modeled leaf held not his attention or interest to him like it usually did. Erestor let his quill fall, as the escape just wasn't working.
Moments later, his head turned as a gentle rapping sounded on his closed door. He wondered what on Arda Elrond would want at this hour of the night, and he went to open the door. He paused briefly, listening through the door to the faint breathing on the other side. The breath was softer then Elrond's was and bafflement crossed Erestor's mind.
In his curiosity, he hastily opened his chamber door.
"Glorfindel!?"
His voice sounded dumb to him at his surprised recognition of who it was who stood at his door.
"What brings you here at this hour?"
Erestor moved aside to let Glorfindel enter his chambers. Glorfindel had never been in his rooms before, and Erestor stared in disbelief while the one that he had never wanted to be in his rooms before invaded his sanctuary. But, at the same time, the sight of Glorfindel within his rooms seemed so right to him, since this was what he had secretly yearned for. He waited in silence and shock for Glorfindel to give an explanation for his presence.
Glorfindel looked around Erestor's sitting rooms. The cozy room was just as large as his own sitting room, but instead of being filled with weapons and armory as his were, Erestor's study was filled with books and manuscripts, just as he had expected. A large desk filled one side of the room, opposite the wall that contained the unlit fireplace. In front of the fireplace was a low-backed linen divan that was a brownish-grey color with two matching armchairs placed nearby. A tapestry that depicted a large, central tree with blazing golden stars in the dark midnight blue sky hung near the desk. Glorfindel noticed several bottles of colored-ink atop the desk, when his eyes had traveled from the tapestry. He must have caught Erestor in the middle of illustrating, he thought. On the wall opposite the fireplace, Glorfindel noticed a door that was slightly ajar. Through the dim moonlight that poured into the dark room, he could make out the outlines of a bed.
An annoyed cough from Erestor brought Glorfindel from his observations.
"How are you tonight?" Glorfindel asked as he seated himself on the divan.
Glorfindel had spoken with Elrond shortly after he had left Curumil's house. Glorfindel had confessed his attraction for Erestor to Elrond. He wanted Erestor's friendship, but he was also hoping that something more would develop between the two. He had been a little surprised when Elrond had smiled and had told him to seek out Erestor tonight. Glorfindel had stalled while he had deliberated on what he should do. In the end, he had decided that Elrond was right; he needed to let Erestor know how he felt this very night.
Erestor was fuming inside, but hope had arisen within his heart. Perhaps his yearning was true, and Glorfindel was interested in him? Suddenly though, Erestor's usual cynical rationale flashed into his mind, causing him to doubt Glorfindel's intentions. Glorfindel was just amusing himself. Why else would he just parade into his rooms at this Valer forsaken hour, and seat himself on his divan without invitation, as if the two of them were dear old friends? And all he could ask was how he was doing tonight, with no explanation for his actions first?
Erestor stubbornly refused to answer Glorfindel's question.
Glorfindel could easily sense the annoyance and bewilderment that ran through Erestor's mind. He decided that Erestor had the right idea; there was no need for words, as his actions could speak just as well and even better then any words could in this situation. Glorfindel rose from the divan, and approached Erestor.
Erestor's grey eyes slowly lost the fury and coldness that had been held within them. Now a sort of confusion and panic shone from their depths out to Glorfindel. As Glorfindel came ever closer him, Erestor retreated away. Before he could completely flee from the room, Glorfindel reached out and grabbed his arm.
Cold eyes shot back at him, but Erestor didn't speak while Glorfindel stared boldly into his face. They held each other's gaze for several moments before Glorfindel placed a kiss to Erestor's lips. That kiss was to signify to Erestor that he was interested in him, and that perhaps something could arise between the two.
Glorfindel articulated the kiss slowly, and was surprised when Erestor accepted it. Glorfindel was also amazed at just how sweet and desirable the kiss was to him. It held the tones of all of their frustrations and their undisclosed desires that they had been hiding from each other for so long. It was delicious and it burned with the want and the desperate need that they both had for each other. In short, the kiss had been magnificent, and had caused both of their hearts to pound.
After the kiss had ended, Glorfindel stepped back and looked at Erestor. In that moment, Erestor had never looked so beautiful to Glorfindel before. Those expressive eyes conveyed to Glorfindel the emotions that Erestor had been stubbornly hiding from him. Glorfindel had never suspected that Erestor had any feelings or interest in him, but now within those expressive eyes Glorfindel could see those emotions and feelings. However, mixed within the love that he saw within those deep grey eyes was the strong element of fear and ambiguity. It saddened Glorfindel to see that combination of emotions relayed back to him.
"What is it that you want Glorfindel?" Erestor was shaking inside.
So, Glorfindel had sensed his attraction to him, and now he was probably just teasing him for his own enjoyment. He probably just wanted to see how weak he was. That kiss was testament to that! He would be defiant.
Glorfindel studied the battling emotions that ran through Erestor's eyes and across his face. Soon those grey eyes had once again glared coldly at him. Now words would have to explain what his actions hadn't been able do for Erestor.
"Erestor, what else would I want? Why else would I be here at this hour, if it were not you that I wanted? Is this not what you want?"
"No Glorfindel! I am not like those others! I will not lay with you for one night, only to have you in the arms of another the next. You would not be able to satisfy me. It is best to forget this, for me to walk away from this before I completely lose my heart to you. Please leave Glorfindel and find someone else to toy with!"
Salty, stinging tears stained the porcelain skin of Erestor's face. It was more than he could bear now that Glorfindel was offering himself to him. How he wanted to rush into those strong, welcoming arms of Glorfindel. He knew though, the folly that would surely ensue if he were to give into his heart's desire. The pain of longing would be more bearable to him then the pain of knowing Glorfindel's love for one instance, only to have it gone the next. His heart would surely cease to beat should he give into his temptations only to find unrequited love. In addition, his own fears and memories of the past flashed through his heart and his mind, reminding Erestor the doubt he felt about ever being part of a meaningful and serious relationship again.
Glorfindel couldn't blame Erestor for his misgivings. It was true that Glorfindel was known for his lose antics when love was involved. How often did he find himself in the arms of someone new, night after night?
He had had so many relationships, and it had all steamed from having lost the one who had captured his heart long ago with the Greenwood. Now, no one could make his heart beat with the want that he had lost so long ago when he had said goodbye to Thranduil.
Despite the intrigue and attraction he felt towards Erestor, he could not help but think of all the difficulties that they had had within their problematic history together. The rational of Erestor should be followed then, as he would most likely only cause unintentional pain to him.
Glorfindel stared at Erestor, who was trembling with anger and with anguish. His complexion had paled considerably, and his eyes; those cold eyes were piercing and they looked haunted. They tore right into his very soul. Memories and images from that dream flashed within his mind as he stared into those eyes. He couldn't stand to see Erestor this way, nor did Glorfindel like the way in which he had begun to feel.
His heart felt as if it were being torn apart with raw emotion, and all of the memories of his love with Thranduil flashed back into his mind. Back then, he had told himself not to surrender to that maddening love, but yet he had. That love had ended in anguish. He didn't want to repeat what had burned so much in anguish for so long for him yet again.
He stepped away from Erestor, and he moved closer to the door.
"If that is how you truly feel, then I will not bother you again."
Glorfindel knew he did not really mean the words that he spoke, but the words came out just the same.
"This night is late, so it would be wise to let it just end now."
Glorfindel said and he retreated, leaving Erestor standing alone in his bedroom, despite the strong desire that they both had for each other.
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The Dance On Water