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Journey Of A Butterfly	By : Mel99Moe Category: -Fourth Age to Modern times and beyond > Het - Male/Female Views: 5714 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or places of Lord of the Rings/Tolkien. No money is being made. This is for personal enjoyment only.

Chapter List
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Chapter 56 - Familiar Places

There was dampness in the air as clouds gathered above. The sun had gone down and rain threatened the skies of Rohan. Terrwyn hurried along the streets of Edoras, hidden beneath her cloak. She never should have left King Eomer’s quarters this soon. People still roamed the streets and alleys, visitors and residents alike who felt cheated out of their macabre entertainment from the morning. How would it look to see the accused murderess now newly vindicated citizen walking freely through the town’s dirt roads? It was either this or remain with Feredir and listen to him go on about how perfect their lives could be now. It didn’t feel perfect to Terrwyn. She felt as if she had lost her identity. Half elven? It could not possibly be. And if it was, who fathered her? Was he Sylvan or Noldor, Mirkwood or Lorien, Rivendell perhaps? What half race was she? She would probably never know.

Terrwyn stepped out of an alleyway and walked past the open door to a tavern. She glanced inside as she passed, scanning the patrons, mostly men, strong brave Rohirrim men. Any one of them should have been enough for her, but she never held an interest in them. Her mind always wondered about the elves. Since she was a child, it had been this way. Even Taldred, who would have given her the moon if it made her happy, did not make her heart flutter. Could this have been the reason why, because of her half heritage?

She peered out from beneath the dark shadow of the hooded cloak, observing the men in the pub, happy to be amongst each other, when a familiar face caught her eye. It was Bregmund’s father and he sat with a few other men. They all huddled together, as if telling secrets. The father’s face was stone cold, but anger festered behind his dark eyes. A shiver ran up Terrwyn’s spine. Just another reason to leave the city, she thought to herself. She wrapped the cloak tightly about her shoulders and hurried away from the tavern. There were those that she wished never to see again if it could be helped.

Finally, Terrwyn came to a familiar looking home, still just as cozy as it was when she lived there with Alric. Now, pretty lavender curtains decorated the windows and flowerbeds lined either side of the door. She eased her hand out from beneath the cloak and knocked softly.

The door opened a crack and a familiar pair of eyes peered out. “Terrwyn?” said a small voice from within. Immediately, the door opened wide and Terrwyn’s dear friend Lindiel stood with her hands covering her mouth.

“Hello, Lindiel,” Terrwyn said nervously, not sure what to expect after all that had happened. Lindiel reached out and touched her friend’s arm, as if she needed to feel her flesh to know this was real.

“Terrwyn, oh my dear friend, I was so worried for you,” the woman cried as she brought the red haired woman into her embrace. Terrwyn hugged Lindiel in return and noticed something very different about her friend. She pushed back and looked down to her swollen belly.

“Lindiel, you are with child,” Terrwyn exclaimed.

“Five months along now,” Lindiel said as she swirled her hand over the protruding abdomen. “But never mind me.” She grabbed Terrwyn’s hand and pulled her into the house, closing the door behind them. Then she looked Terrwyn over from head to toe, shocked to see her friend. “I cannot even begin to explain how fearful I was for you. Taldred told me everything that was happening as soon as you were brought to the city. I so desperately wanted to come see you, but he forbade me and said that the guards would not permit it anyhow. And then I heard of the trial and all the people filling the streets and . . . it was too much to bear knowing you were here as a prisoner.” Lindiel seemed as if she would burst into tears.

Terrwyn took a quick look around the small house. Many memories came flooding back to her. She had lived in this very house with Alric, taking care of him and his home in exchange for shelter. Those had been good days then and the feeling was still here. She brought her attention back to Lindiel. “It is over now. I was exonerated by King Eomer, who has been more than gracious. He advised me not to wander Edoras, but after being locked away for so long, I could not stand to remain behind closed doors another moment. I’m sorry if I came unexpected, but I just couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.”

Lindiel lifted her arm and gestured around the room. “It is because of you that Taldred and I have this place. You are always welcomed here. Oh Terrwyn, I have missed you so much since our time in Minas Tirith. I have often wondered--.”

The mention of Taldred’s name made Terrwyn pull away from Lindiel, concerned for what happened to him. “Have you heard from Taldred?” she interrupted.

Confused by the suddenness of Terrwyn’s inquiry Lindiel answered. “He came home briefly after a night on patrol, freshened up and changed into his civilian clothes. Then he went to join the others at your hearing. He has not returned since then and I think I know what keeps him. He has been detained hasn’t he?”

“What do you mean?” Terrwyn asked.

“Taldred and I have no secrets. When he asked to court me, we made this agreement between us. I told him everything, my secret longing for him as children and my jealousy when I learned that he pined for someone else. And he told me all of his secrets even the one about . . .” Lindiel stopped briefly. “About his involvement with your escape.”

“What? You knew about this?” Terrwyn asked shocked.

She took Terrwyn’s hands and searched her friends face. “I was glad he told me and I was proud that he did what he did. Taldred is a good man and a good judge of character. He explained everything he saw in the stables that night and after befriending you in Minas Tirith and having heard all the charges against you, I could not believe it either. If it were I instead of Taldred, I would have done the same thing. We talked about this many times and we both agreed that if the time came that he needed to tell the truth, then he should do so. Now, here you are and Taldred has not come home yet so I guess that means--.” Lindiel waved her hand in the air, shooing away a few tears threatening the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry, I seem to cry a lot anymore.”

Terrwyn was sure that if the King allowed her freedom, he would also understand Taldred’s reasons for doing what he did. Still, it made her nervous knowing Lindiel hadn’t seen or heard from him since the morning. Her friend was on the verge of a breakdown that only a pregnant woman could conjure and Terrwyn was still confused by all the day’s events. She knew they needed a distraction. “It has been a long and tiring day. I don’t suppose you have anything relaxing to drink.” She exaggerated the word and gave Lindiel a wink.

“I think Taldred has something hidden away in one of the cupboards. Come with me and I’ll see what I can find.” She took Terrwyn’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen. Lindiel searched for a bottle of Taldred’s secret stock, a nasty liquor that could make a blind man see, as Alric used to call it. Terrwyn knew a thing or two about Rohirric soldiers. They all kept a bottle of the stuff somewhere. While Lindiel explored parts of her kitchen that had obviously been forgotten about, Terrwyn had a seat at the small table in the corner of the room. Not much had changed since she lived here. The curtains were different colors and the personal items had changed with the new owners, but the ambiance of the home was still the same. It was quite satisfying to be back in her old home.

Suddenly Lindiel stopped what she was doing and smiled as she heard the front door creak open. “Taldred is home,” she sang as she rushed from the kitchen to greet him. Terrwyn stood and walked to the threshold, peeking around the corner. She watched as Taldred greeted his wife with open arms, wrapping them around her. Terrwyn had seen him once while she was jailed and at the tribunal, but she hadn’t had the time to really observe him with everything that was happening. Now she secretly took a better look at him from the kitchen. His hair just touched his collar, still sun streaked golden. He seemed a bit more muscled and his facial features had matured. That was good to see. It meant he had been working very hard to provide for his new wife and unborn child. But what she noticed most was the gleam in his eyes as he looked at Lindiel. This was something Terrwyn had never seen before and it gladdened her heart to see it now.

Taldred kissed Lindiel lovingly and then knelt down on one knee, resting his cheek on her swelled abdomen. He whispered a Rohirric blessing to the new babe. “It is good to be home.”

“I was so worried, Taldred. When you did not come back after--.”

Taldred stood up and took her into his arms. “I must admit, I wasn’t quite sure myself after today. I was afraid I would not get to do any of this again.” His hand went to her stomach. “But all is well. We are blessed to have a King that is so fair and just.”

Terrwyn felt as if she were intruding upon a private moment and moved away from the doorway. Lindiel heard the rustling of her skirts as they brushed against the rough sawn wood. “Taldred,” Lindiel smiled as he stood back up. “There is someone here to see us.”

Terrwyn heard Lindiel’s words and knew it was her cue to enter the scene. She went back to the kitchen doorway and stepped into the dim glow of the living room lights. “Hello Taldred,” she greeted him.

“Terrwyn.” His voice sounded relieved. “Oh dear Terrwyn.” He rushed over to her and grasped her hands, looking her over as if examining her. The young man glanced over his shoulder to his wife who nodded and Taldred pulled Terrwyn into his arms. “By the gods, you are safe. I was so worried.”

“I am fine,” she said as he crushed her against his chest. “But Taldred,” she wheezed.

“Yes?” he asked releasing his hold on her.

Quite suddenly and without explanation, Terrwyn shoved him hard, making him stumble backwards. “What were you thinking?” she reprimanded, turning on him at once. “You should never have told them about the night I ran away and your involvement. You could have been arrested, or worse . . . and you with a wife and a child on the way,” she yelled. “What were you thinking, man?” She punched his arm.

Taldred laughed as he rubbed his arm. “I see you still have that same fiery spirit. I had to. I could not stand the way they were treating you at the tribunal. It was unjust. I knew you were only protecting yourself that night. I believed you then and I believe you now. I was the closest thing to a witness that you had.”

“Well, you should not have done it.” Terrwyn shook her finger at him and then smiled. “But I’m glad you did. Just promise me you will mind your own business from now on and only worry about your wife and child.”

“I promise,” Taldred laughed.

The three friends sat in the living room and Taldred proceeded to tell the women what happened after the King sent Terrwyn from the room. “I was detained just as you thought and sent to a private waiting room. I was told there was someone standing guard outside the door and not to attempt anything foolish. It was torture not knowing what was happening. I could hear the muffled shouts outside and prayed that my testimony had done some good. It was hours before someone came to me and when they did, it was King Eomer, come to question me about my involvement. I told him all that I knew and I that I was guilty of. Then he proceeded to tell me what happened after I was confined.” Taldred took Terrwyn’s hand. “I found it difficult to believe at first, when he told me that your brother had been found. Not only that, but he was responsible for your release as well.”

“I am still quite in shock myself,” Terrwyn responded.

“And is it also true what he said about you . . . about being . . . part elf?” His words were said softly, as if he was almost afraid to ask.

“What?” Lindiel gasped.

Terrwyn nodded. “It is true. Hathmund told me the story, all that he knows. I’m just not sure I completely understand it. That’s why I came here. I needed some time alone to think.”

“Why did you not stay with the elves that helped you? Surely they would know how to guide you and answer any questions,” Lindiel added.

“It’s not that easy,” Terrwyn muttered under her breath. “You see, I have fallen in love with one of them. He is half elven too and even though he knows I am human . . .” She paused. “Well, was human, or only half . . .” She stopped as her mind jumbled again. “Well, he was willing to give up his choice and be with me. I’m afraid that with this new information, he will want me to choose with him now . . . to sail with him as he originally planned before we met. I don’t even know what that means. As much as he sees himself as an elf, I see myself as human.”

“Have you spoken to him about this yet?” Lindiel asked.

“We only talked a moment before I felt the walls closing in on me and I ran away, here.”

Taldred leaned forward on the couch opposite of where Terrwyn sat and captured her with is bold eyes. “You gave me a gift when you left Rohan. You told me to never stop searching for the one who would make my life complete. And then Lindiel came back to Rohan and I understood exactly what you meant. I will offer you the same advice you gave me. Go to him, Terrwyn. If you love him and if he loves you as much as you say, it will work for both of you. Do not hide from him. Tell him your true feelings so that he will know what worries you.

Even as a child when you came to Edoras, you talked of nothing but the elves. I can understand why now. You belong with them. You always have even before you learned of your true heritage.”

“I am beginning to realize that too,” Terrwyn answered. “But there is so much more to contemplate than just this. It means my mother strayed from her marriage. It means my father that I loved deeply, was not my father, and I will never know who this elf was that sired me. What traits of his do I exemplify? What part of him do I carry except for my half heritage?”

Lindiel left Taldred’s side to join Terrwyn where she sat. She put an arm around her friend and cradled her head upon her breast. “Now, now Terrwyn, there are many things for you to sort out, but you do not need to do it all in one night. You are welcomed to stay here tonight or for as long as you like. So much has happened to you today. You need to rest now.”

Tears traced down Terrwyn’s cheek. “Are you sure I am not being a burden to either of you?”

“Of course not, dearest,” Lindiel answered. “You just take your time. We will take care of you for now.”

After Terrwyn regained her composure, Lindiel walked her to the guest room. This was where Terrwyn slept when she lived here. Never had she felt so at home, yet completely alone.

Lindiel heated some herbal tea to help Terrwyn rest easily. She gave her a nightgown from the closet and turned down the bed. Once Terrwyn was beneath the covers, Lindiel leaned over her, brushing her stray red curls from her face. Terrwyn smiled. “You will make a wonderful mother, my friend.”

“Yes, I suppose you are good practice for me. Sleep now and everything will look much brighter in the morning.” Lindiel kissed her friend’s forehead and then left the small bedroom.

* * *

“I must go to her,” Feredir said determinedly as he reached for the door handle.

Orthorien braced his hand against Feredir’s shoulder, stopping him. “Let her be, brother. She needs this time to herself.”

“You did not see the look in her eyes. She is confused and angry. She may even loath me, but none of that matters. I need to find her and talk to her,” Feredir insisted. When Orthorien blocked the door, keeping his brother from leaving, the dark elf began pacing the room. Orthorien’s heart went out to him. He could feel Feredir’s concern for Terrwyn. He couldn’t blame him. Love could make the sternest of men turn into a crazed fool.

“She has a lot to consider, Feredir. You have known your whole life that you were half elven. This must be a strain on her right now. Think of how she feels to know her life has just changed. Her family, her heritage, nothing is what she thought it once was.”

“That is why I must go to her,” Feredir argued. “While everything else is in a jumble, I am still the same. I have not changed and my feelings for her have not either.”

“And she knows that, brother, but you may only make matters worse right now. Just give her time and then go find her. And when you do, be gentle with her. Let her speak first. Do not talk of choices and sailing. All of that will be dealt with eventually. Right now she needs you to listen.”

Feredir calmed at the sound of Orthorien’s voice. Again, his brother was right. Terrwyn’s safety and well-being was all Feredir could think about recently. This was something he could not protect her from. She needed to deal with this in her own way and only she knew what was best. He stopped pacing the floor and stood in front of his older brother, eyes turned to the floor as if in defeat. Orthorien put his arm around Feredir’s shoulder and smiled. “Mother raised you right. You are more than a soldier. I could never have changed that about you no matter how hard I tried. I would never try to change you again. You are strong, Feredir, strong in heart as well as brawn and I love you, brother.”

These small admissions were still new to Orthorien and made him feel uncomfortable once the words left his lips, but he meant everything he said. Feeling as if the moment lasted longer than he had hoped, he released Feredir and gave him a good hard brotherly slap on the back. “Now,” he said in a cheery tone to wipe the air clean of his recent affirmation. “Horphen has told me of a tavern where we can go and not worry about any of these visitors from today’s events. It is naught more than a dirty hole of a place, but the ale is the best one can find in Rohan. I say we go and unwind. What say you, Feredir? Care to join me in a round or two?”

Feredir sighed deep then raised his head, meeting his brother’s grin. “Aye, sounds like a fine idea.”

* * *

Terrwyn lay in her bed, her mind still rushing through everything. She thought of her visions of the lush fern covered forest and the presence she always felt. That had always been Feredir. There was no doubt about that now. How many other things had happened to her that she could not explain? Oh yes, there was the tree hut in Firien woods. Standing upon the wooden floor, looking out over the forest had given her such a sense of peace and belonging. She couldn’t explain it then, but now she knew what that longing had meant. Growing up in the Westfold had left her little chance of playing in the forest so she hadn’t known what it felt like to be amongst the trees until Taldred took her to meet Rosloch. Terrwyn understood the connection all too clearly as being her elvishness calling out, wanting to stay within the safety of the trees.

Another thought crossed her mind. There had been several times that someone whispered something not meant for her to hear, but she heard nonetheless. It surprised her sometimes, especially when she answered the person whispering. Terrwyn remembered her brother teasing her as a child. “You have the hearing of an elf,” he would say and they would laugh. Now she knew just how true that was.

There were other little mishaps, as she would call them, but she never paid them any mind. Things were starting to fall into place and she understood more and more why she was like this. It all lead back to her elvish heritage. Admitting that still seemed strange to her. Terrwyn shook her head and drifted off to sleep. There was too much to think about and the overlapping thoughts were becoming too much. Her eyes closed and soon she was in her secret forest. The smells of a home were slowly replaced by fresh leaves and young ferns. The crackle of the fire in the hearth turned to the lite chirping of crickets and Terrwyn drifted into her vision, wishing Feredir were with her now.

* * *

The elf brothers met Horphen at the small tavern and joined in conversation. Orthorien and Horphen laughed and told battle stories, but Feredir remained distant. His only thought was of Terrwyn and what she was feeling right now. When the others tried to get him to join in their jesting, he adorned a false smile and nodded. He was fooling no one.

Orthorien and Horphen looked at each other with a silent agreement. They would test Feredir to see just how much he was listening.

“And did I ever tell you about Feredir’s first kiss?” Orthorien said to Horphen.

“Why no, do tell,” Horphen answered with exaggeration.

“Well, he was still slight and scrawny then. No elleth would have anything to do with him, and so he practiced on a goat,” Orthorien answered. The two elves waited for Feredir’s reply, but none came.

“Isn’t that right, Feredir?” Orthorien asked, nudging his brother.

Feredir’s attention came back to the present and he smiled. “Yes, yes that’s right,” he admitted though he had not heard the conversation leading up to the question.

Both elves broke into a fit of laughter and Feredir creased his brows. “What is so funny?” he said irritated.

Horphen slapped his friend on the back. “Really now, your first kiss was with a goat? Did the furry lip not tickle you nose?” he joked. “Or maybe you like that kind of thing.”

“First kiss with a goat?” His sight fell upon his brother. “What nonsense have you been filling his head with?”

“We only wanted to see if you were listening ,” Orthorien answered with a smile. “And this proves that you are not even in this tavern with us tonight.”

“I’m afraid I am not good company.” Feredir looked into his half-filled mug. It was obvious to the others where his mind was. “If you don’t mind, I think I will take my leave.”

“Go on then, brother,” Orthorien replied. “You will find no answers in the bottom of that mug you are holding.”

Feredir glanced at Orthorien and saw the wink in his eye. The dark elf smiled a true half grin before pushing his chair back and standing. He said goodnight to both elves and left the pub, exiting into the brisk night air. The wind had picked up and there was the smell of rain. He tightened his cloak around his body and turned to head back to Meduseld, where King Eomer had graciously given him a room to stay.

Feredir took only a few steps and stopped. What was he doing? Why was he letting himself feel such despair? He loved Terrwyn and should not let her be alone during this confusing time. Orthorien’s words rang true. He should not expect her to know what direction she would choose. It was too soon. And he should not expect her to make the same choice as he. The decision to stay or sail was no longer his own. It belonged to both of them now and he suddenly needed her to know this, but where was she?

The dark haired elf entered the tavern once more and went to Horphen. “You know where she went don’t you?” he asked desperately.

“Feredir, I think Orthorien is correct. You should give her some time to--.”

“Please, just tell me where she is,” he pleaded. “Don’t make me tell Orthorien about your first kiss,” he threatened. Horphen went pale and felt Orthorien’s eyes upon him.

“Oh, please do not tell my brother anything. I would love to know about this kiss,” Orthorien teased as he leaned towards Horphen, making the younger elf feel rather embarrassed.

“She went to Taldred and Lindiel’s home. It is not far from here. Just stay on the road. It is the last house on the corner . . . opposite side, mind you.” Horphen could not get the words out fast enough.

Feredir smiled fiendishly. “Thank you my dear friend.” He turned to leave, but stopped. “And I’m sure the ellon you kissed would thank you too, for not having to share that story,” he added just before leaving the tavern.

Orthorien turned a curious eye towards Horphen, who had turned redder than one of King Thranduil’s rubies. “Would you care to enlighten me?” he teased.

“No, I would not,” Horphen said with absolute denial. When Orthorien did not turn his attention away from him, he added. “It was a childish prank.” He paused. “I was a first year trainee.” Another pause, but Orthorien waited for more. “They blindfolded me,” Horphen finally admitted with defeat.

Orthorien laughed. “See, now that was not so painful. And I promise . . . not a word to anyone.”

Horphen breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” He picked up his mug and took a long drink.

“So, what was it like? Were his lips soft or strong and demanding?” Orthorien went on. Horphen choked on his ale and the older elf laughed until his sides hurt.

“I’m going to strip every precious black hair from Feredir’s head when I see him next,” Horphen seethed while Orthorien chortled.

“Relax my friend. I think it has happened to all of us at one time or another, especially during our youthful training years.” Orthorien patted Horphen on the shoulder while he spoke.

“So you were tortured as a first year too?”

“Oh of course,” Orthorien answered. Then a wicked grin spread across his face and Horphen knew he made a mistake by asking the last question. “That’s when I discovered I liked the strong demanding type.”

Horphen picked up his full mug and drank the contents without stopping. He slammed the mug down onto the table, searched the tavern until he caught the eye of servant and gestured for another round. Why, of all the elves in Arda, did Feredir have to slip that secret out to Orthorien? It was not a mystery, the older elf’s ability to choose either male or female companionship. In fact, he wore it quite proudly. But once he set his sights on his prey, he was a ruthless pursuer. He avoided Orthorien as long as he could, but felt his gaze from across the table as he waited for Horphen to respond. The last thing he wanted was to give Orthorien any false hopes. “Well, I discovered that I like the soft, supple, sweet lips of an elleth.” Horphen got up from his chair. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go take care of some business. This ale goes out as quickly as it goes in.”

Orthorien nodded and watched Horphen walk away. Whether he really needed to relieve himself or if he was just trying to get out of where the conversation was going, he could not be sure, but he laughed to himself and filed away another bit of information to tease Horphen with later.
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Journey Of A Butterfly