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Soulbound	By : rotschopf Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General Views: 2867 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Final Decision

As I sit along the shore of my wishes and my dream
My pride lies scattered on the floor with the fading sunlight beams
(L'Âme Immortelle - Another Day)

It was near midnight. Legolas had snuggled into the coat Aragorn had offered him earlier when he realised that the Elf was shivering with cold. It had worried Aragorn to no end. Elves didn't feel cold, and the ranger was sure that it was the cold grip of Mandos that chilled Legolas' body.

It was almost time to wake Gimli for the next watch, but neither Elf nor Human intended to disturb the sleeping Dwarf.

"Has Haldir ever told you why he nearly bedded your brother?"

"Yes, he has. He had went upstairs, almost crying. He had lay on the bed, not hearing my brother coming in. Lindor wanted to ease his pain and Haldir gave in, though he knew it was wrong."

"What happened to your brother?"

"You know that, Aragorn," Legolas replied playfully. "You met him in Imladris. Together with Glorfindel."

"Glorfindel's lover is your brother Lindor?" Aragorn thought he heard Legolas wrong. "You don't look like brothers."

"We don't do now. When we were younger Lindor was the spitting image of me. That was another reason why Haldir had allowed him to do what he did."

"Were Glorfindel and Lindor bound, too?"

"No!" Legolas laughed. "They don't even have a steady relationship. They both enjoy the physical pleasures too much to bind themselves to just one Elf."

"Igoodgood to hear you laugh again, dear friend."

Legolas sig "I "I never would have thought that talking about the pain makes it easier to bear it."

"Then go on." Aragorn smirked. "You still have more than two millennia to tell me about."

~o0o~

Legolas stood outside his chambers on the balcony. He had closed his eyes, breathing the aliveness of the forest, sensing its scents, hearing the gentle hum of the wild animals in the brush wood.

It was one of those nights when sorrow took over the young son of Thranduil, and he ordered a jug of the old wine his father kept in his vaults. He wanted to fall into everlasting oblivion and that was all he wished for in those moments. After a couple of goblets, sometimes the sapphire-blue pools of a certain March Warden disappeared from Legolas' inner gaze.

But not tonight. Tonight the picture of Haldir that was burnt into Legolas' memory forever was even more prominent than most of the other nights. Thus, the young Elf started his favorite game: self-accusation. The most present thought in those times was the one of giving in to the grief and the pain. Especially now that Haldir has returned to Lothlórien, Legolas knew more than ever how much he loved the March Warden. He also felt more than love when he thought about the cunning Elf. Pure desire, craving, lust. All rolled into one. Usually, this was the point he would have stopped drinking. He would have locked his door, laid down on his bed and stroked him himself to a mindblowing orgasm.

Not tonight. Tonight, he sensed another Elf near. Thranduil, Legolas presumed. He expected him to step out of Legolas' dark chambers, reprimanding Legolas for his foolish behaviour, reminding him of his obligations and duties as a Prince of Greenwood the Great. But not this time.

A very gentle touch on hisuldeulder urged Legolas to look up. It was not his father, but Linaewen who stood next to him, looking at him with loving and knowing eyes.

"You are troubled, Legolas." It was simple statement. But it broughe tee tears to Legolas eyes again. "You miss him, don't you?"

He reached for her hand and pressed his face into her palm. "Yes, I do, Linni," he whispered. "More than ever." He tried to stop the tears from falling again. But the gentle touch of his former lover and now best friend was too much for Legolas to bear. "I cannot live without him."

She knelt before him, resting her head against his knee. He tangled his fingers into her raven hair, slowly unbraiding it. "I am so sorry, Legolas. How's Lindor taking it?"

"Father tries to keep him sane. He is thinking about giving him away so that some grass can grow over the incident."

"He's taking it pretty hard, then? I thought as much. He was always very sensitive in matters of the heart."

"He thinks I hate him."

"Do you?"

"Of course not!" Legolas looked shocked. "He is my brother, and he couldn't have known what feelings I hold for Haldir. Besides, it is my own fault that Haldir turned to Lindor after I have rejected him."

"And what are you going to do about the whole thing?"

"Nothing. There is nothing I could do."

"You could always go after him."

"I can't."

"And why is that?"

"Orophin said I should let matters rest for a while."

"And what does your heart say about this?"

Legolas smiled because he knew what Linaewen was driving at. "That I should go after him. The sooner the better."

"Well, what are you waiting for, then?"

"Father will be more than displeased with me."

"So what? If you are not here he cannot punish you, can he?"

"May be. But when I come back..." Legolas shook his head. "It does not matter. Will you help me, Linni?"

"Of course I will."

"I will need lembas for three weeks. Some clean clothes that are not as eye-catching as the royal garment."

"Will you take your black beauty?"

"Yes. She is faster than any other horse in the stable. And I trust her."

"They will notice her absence. And she is an eye-opener."

"I trust our equerry. And with me gone, they will not question were my love has gone to. Everything else... She may be an eye-opener. But there is nothing unusual about having a beautiful horse."

"You still call her your love?" Linaewen was amused.

"Of course. She is the only female creature that holds my heart", he smiled. "I am sorry, Linni."

"About what?"

"That I couldn't love you the way you deserve it."

"Don't, Legolas. There is nothing to be sorry about. And you know that. You can't change neither your heart nor your mind."

"I love you, Linni, I really do. But not as much..."

She silenced him with her fingers to his lips. "Hush, Legolas. Let us better get started."

~o0o~

It barely took them an hour to gather all the things together which Legolas would need on his journey to Lothlórien. Linaewen helped him to carry down the packs and pieces to the stable. As expected, the equerry quirked an eye-brow at Legolas, but didn't question his intentions. In silence, they saddled and packed Legolas' black beauty. Before he mounted, Linaewen kissed him on the cheek. "Take care, Legolas. There are fouler beasts in the world than love-sick Elves."

He smiled heartily at her, and mounted his mare. "If I don't return within two moons I am either dead or happy among the Galadhrim."

"Send word shall you stay in the Golden Wood," the equerry spoke the first time this night. "Not for your father. But for all of us who care, my Prince."

"I will. Don't worry. Haldir taught me well in that short time we had. I shall return safely and in one piece."

"Farewell, Legolas. May Elbereth watch over you," Linaewen said before Legolas spurred his mare to speed.

At the gates, the guards called out to him. "Alas, who art thou, disturbing the peace of the night?"

"It is me, Prince Legolas. I request passage and a sealed mouth."

"Where art thou going?"

"Into the wild. None of this is to be spoken to my father. You have never seen me."

The guards creased their heads in question, but remained silent and opened the gate. Legolas thanked them with a quick nod and was gone into the darkness.

~o0o~

Legolas took the Old Forest Road through Greenwood before he turned southward to Lothlórien. At nights, he let his mare roam freely through the woods while he was sleeping in the high safety of the trees, and travelled at day. At this speed, he would reach the borders of Lothlorien in less than ten days.

He had met no one out in the wild. Even the foul creatures seemed to be more friendly than usual for they let him pass without pursuit.

~o0o~

He brought his black beauty to a halt about 6o yards outside of Lothlórien. He knew that he wouldn't go unnoticed by the Lórien guards for they constantly controlled the borders at any time. In fact, he had not to wait long before Rúmil and four other guards walked towards Legolas.

"You shouldn't have come here, Legolas," Rúmil sighed.

"I know. How is he?"

"Alive, but not himself anymore. He is dying a most painful death."

Legolas nodded sadly knowing he was the reason for the slow and self-chosen h ofh of the March Warden. "I am sorry."

"Your pity is not wanted here," Rúmil growled through gritted teeth. "He does not need you to pity him for you have turned him away." Rumil breathed deeply to control his temper. "You should go home, Legolas. My brother is none of your concern anymore. Go and leave him to the mercy of the Valar."

Legolas' mare danced nervously, but he managed to keep her collected. "I haven't come to pity him, Rúmil!" Legolas snapped back. "I want to talk to him!"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Go home, Legolas, and never come back."

"Please, Rumil! I have to see him! I have to tell him!"

"And what good would do that? To ease your mind and conscience by telling Haldir?"

"Telling me what?" The dark and velvet voice of Haldir rang clearly above the angry conversation of Rúmil and Legolas. "What is it that you want to keep from me, dear brother?"

"Haldir..." Legolas couldn't manage more than whispering the name of the March Warden. He watched the beautiful Elf walking over to the group with the fleline grace that Legolas had fallen for at first sight. He carried his bow in one hand, letting it swing by his side. He looked beautiful in the garb of his own people. Legolas felt his heart growing heavy with love for the ancient creature that stopped to stand before him and gaze up at him with those incredible blue eyes.

"Don't do this to yourself, brother," Rúmil nearly begged.

But Haldir just smiled at him. "You do not need to protect me, brother. Not from my own apprentice. Not from one of my dearest friends."

"You still consider me a friend?" Legolas asked with a low voice, holding his breath. Afraid of the answer.

"Of course I do," Haldir responded hoarsely. "Orophin had sent me your love, Legolas. Now, what is it that you want to speak to me about?"

The Prince shivered at the sweet and caressing way Haldir spoke his name. And Haldir knew. Orophin had kept his word and sent Haldir his love. He smiled at the March Warden, drowing again in the grieving depths of Haldir's eyes.

No longer, Haldir. No longer.

"I would have chosen a more private neighborhood to tell you this, but since your brother refused my request to speak to you..." He glared at Rúmil. The Lórien Elf averted his gaze from the burning anger in Legolas eyes. "I have come to bind myself to you, Haldir of Lórien." The other Elves gasped at that vow, but Legolas decided to ignore them. "I am more than willing to give myself away to you. But you will have to come and claim me. Claim me, Haldir. Claim my life and my soul for you already hold my heart."

A cry escaped Rúmil at Legolas' last statement. Legolas dared to drop a soft kiss onto Haldir's lips before he spurred his horse to speed. Though he was tired of running and Haldir's taste still burned on his lips, he thought it was Haldir's time to come after him.

Still, he half hoped that Haldir would come after him before he reached Greenwood. His heart desperately hoped for the Lórien Elf to come and claim him, though he knew better. He knew that if Haldir was to claim him, there were still preperations that had to be made. Decisions. And Haldir would take his time to make those.

Thus, he arrived alone at his father's palace. He handed his black beauty to the equerry, gaving her a fond pat on the neck and thanking her for her loyalty. Then, he went to his rooms. He just wanted to be alone. Alone with all his fear and pride that costed him Haldir. And if Rúmil proved to be right Legolas' pride would also claim Haldir's life.

He slammed the door shut behind him, wakening the sleeping figure on the bed.

"Legolas..."

"I am sorry, Linni. I didn't want to wake you."

"It is all right. You couldn't have known I was here, now, could you?" She rubbed her eyes before she looked at the Prince. "Has he returned with you?"

Legolas shook his head. "No, he hasn't." Though he had wanted to be alone before, he found Linaewen's presence more than comfortable. "And I am not sure that he will ever return to Greenwood again."

"Have you told him?"

"Yes and no."

Linaewen grew impatient. "Have you talked to him at all?"

"Yes... yes. Briefly."

"And? What have you told him?"

Legolas didn't answer her at first. I have come to bind myself to you. Finally, the severity of these words hit Legolas. He had spoken them in hurry, just to convince Haldir about the honesty of his intentions. But the more he thought about them, the more he knew he meant them. With all his heart. That was what he wanted. To bind himself to Haldir. To join his soul and receive his soul in return. He wouldn't feel complete again without Haldir by his side.

"Legolas?"

He looked up and met her amber eyes. She looked worried. He clasped her hand in reassurance. "I am fine, Linni. I only realised what I actually did. That I spoke but the truth to Haldir."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I will bind myself to him."

Linaewen cried out in surprise. "Legolas... Are you out of your mind?"

Legolas dropped her hand and wandered to the double glass doors that led out to the balcony. "Why?" he asked. "Why keeps everyone asking me that question? The only one that hasn't asked me that question is the one I want to bind myself to. What is so wrong about that bond?"

"Well... There is nothing wrong about the two of you being lovers for a decade or more. But binding... for eternity... that is an all together different thing."

"And why is it so different? Because he is male?"

"Because you are a Prince! You are not supposed to marry out of love but to bind other kingdoms to that of your father's!"

"I do not care about kingdoms and titles, Linni. Out of all, you should know that!" Legolas shouted. "It is neither Haldir's fault nor mine that I was born a Prince of Greenwood the Great! If it takes me to deny my royal blood and lay every title down I ever wore, then be it!" He pushed the doors open and let the cool breeze that came from woods flood the room. He sighed. "I have promised myself to him, Linni. Nothing can change that anymore. If he only would come and claim me..."

"Does anyone else know about this little vow of yours?"

"Yes. Rúmil and his watch witnessed what I had to say for Rúmil wouldn't let me talk to Haldir until his brother showed up at the scene. And by now, all of Lothlórien should know."

"Are you aware of the situation you have maneuvered yourself and Haldir into? He has to answer to your vow. No matter what his answer will be. He must answer it. Honor bids it of him."

Legolas sauntered onto the balcony, sitting down on a low bench on the wall. Linaewen followed him and sat beside him. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he finally spoke. "Indeed. I am young and naive."
She smiled at him. "Maybe, you are. If you were but a bit older they might say it was a most clever move. Or has he answered you already?"

"No. I didn't give him the chance to answer me. I ran away. Again." He laughed wryly. "This whole thing turns out to be a big runaway. You can wager on who is going to run from whom next time." He sighed. "And maybe, I should go and tell my father. He will find out sooner or later anyway and I'd rather tell him myself."

Linaewen looked at Legolas, thunderstruck. "No!" she pleaded. "No, Legolas! I beg of you! He will do it again!"

"I don't care if he whips me to death, Linni!" he exclaimed. "I do not care. Haldir is dying because of my foolishness. If I cannot have him in this life I want to join him at least in the Halls of Mandos!"

Linaewen looked frightened and stunned. "Haldir? Dying? I do not understand..."

"He hurts, Linni. His heart has been broken long ago. During the War of Wrath. He had to be strong. He never tended his heart. He never let it heal and mend properly. He only survived by not talking to his heart anymore. Then, he promised me something. And that something will be his death now." He tenderly stroked her tear-stained face. "I have to follow my heart, Linni."

She nodded. "Yes. Yes, I know. The heart does as the heart does. I only wished I could do something for you. Protect you."

"You are lovely, Linni. But I always complained about my father not treating me like a grown-up. I have to face this alone."

"Is there nothing I can do?"

"No." He kissed her softly on the cheek. "Haldir and I will be fine once our féar are united." Then, he reconsidered. "Actually... There is something you can do for me. Something traditional."

She dried her face with the sleeve of her dress. Then, she smiled. "I'd loved to. What are the colors of his family?"

"Red and silver. I trust you with the pattern of the embroidery."

"So... You have still hope?"

"There is always hope."

He cupped her cheek with his hand. She leaned into the touch, covering his fingers with her hand. "Then go, Legolas. Follow your heart."

"I will, Linni."

~o0o~

When Legolas reached the official chambers of his father he only found the seneschal. "Is my father not here?"

"I am sorry, my Prince. Your father is in deep conversation with Lord Elrond and is not to be disturbed."

"What are they discussing?"

"If Lindor is to be sent to Rivendell. Thranduil fears for Lindor's sanity. Your brother still couldn't forgive himself."

"Who is to be his mentor?"

"Most likely Lord Glorfindel."

Legolas cocked his head in thought. "Perhaps it would do Lindor better if he was raised equally to Elrond's sons."

The seneschal smiled. "Lord Elrond shares your opinion." He gave Legolas another look, and Legolas knew he was dismissed. "I will tell your father that you wish to speak with him."

"I thank you."

Legolas turned to walk back to his chambers to await his father. When he walked past the library, he spotted his youngest brother on one of the desks. The young Elf looked as heartbroken as Legolas felt. Legolas sighed. He had to talk to him about the matters. He couldn't bear the thought of breaking another one being dear to him.

Legolas walked into the library. "Lindor?" Legolas spoke gently to gain Lindor's attention.

Lindor looked up from his book. Grief and sadness lined his beautiful features, his eyes empty. "What is it, Legolas?" he said trying, to hide his tension.

Legolas walked to him. Seeing his brother grief-worn like this, was just too much for him to cope with. He swooped his brother into his arms and sat down in the chair Lindor had been sitting in, cradling him to his chest. "I love you, my brother. You know that, don't you?"

"How can you still love me? What I have done is not to be forgiven."

"That is not true. You couldn't have known. I am the fool, not you. It hurt, yes. It still does. But not because of what you have done."

"Father is thinking differently about the matter. He is going to send me away."

"Don't you want to go to Rivendell?"

"Yes and no. Of course I want to learn about the world outside of Greenwood. But I do not wish to stay forever away from home."

"No one has ever said you have to. Father is worried, that's all."

"Do you want me to go away to Rivendell, too?"

Legolas cradled his brother's head with one hand against the hollow of his shoulder. "No, I don't. I will terribly miss you. Indeed, I would very much like to come with you."

"Will you come with me, then?"

Legolas smiled fondly at Lindor. "I am afraid not. There are matters I must see to. But I will visit you as often as I can." He kissed Lindor's forehead. "Be at ease, my brother. You are still dear to me."

"And you to me."

Legolas released the lithe body of Lindor. He tucked one strand of flaxen hair behind his brother's ear before he left him again to his studies.

~o0o~

As Legolas had expected, his father already waited for him in Legolas' chambers. The King looked weary, as always after long distant conversation that fatigue the mind.

"I am sorry, father," he spoke in a low voice. "I should have known you would be tired."

"It is all right, Legolas. I could have well gone to bed and spoken with you in the morning." The King massaged his temples to ease the pain he was experiencing. "You look troubled, son."

"I am, father." He helped himself to a goblet of apple-wine before he continued. "Lindor feels unwanted here."

"I know." Thranduil sighed. "But there is nothing I can do about that. If I don't send him away he will still feel unwanted."

There was something in Thranduil's voice that made Legolas look closer at his father. This was not the stern King he had learned to accept as a cruel parent. This was not the Elf that had whipped him for being disobedient. This was not the same Elf that had raised him to fear his own heart. Something had changed his father. If for good or ill Legolas could not tell. Yet.

"Has Haldir returned with you?"

It was a simple question. But it made Legolas choke on hise. "e. "What do you mean?"

Thranduil smiled. But it was not his usual cold smile. It reached his eyes and made them light up with affection. "Legolas, there is little that goes unnoticed within my realm. Especially when one of my sons sneaks out at night to ride Lórien-ward." He patted beside him on the divan he was sitting on, and Legolas sat, still afraid of what might come. "The only thing I might not know is the full extend of your affection for the March Warden." Legolas did not dare to look at his father though he felt his eyes upon his face. He started at the hand that tilted his head to face the K "Yo "You love him, don't you?"

"Yes," Legolas whispered. "With all my heart."

"But there is more, isn't there? More that you are afraid of to tell me."

Legolas nodded. He knew he had no choice but to confess what he had done. "Haldir will return, sooner or later. I left him with but one choice." He couldn't go on. He didn't dare. But his father tilted his head in acknowledgement.
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Soulbound

Final Decision