The Lesson of Dangle and Dance

Haldir sat beside Thranduil at the banquet table worrying the intricate lace on the sleeve of his gown. He had done his best to avoid the King of Mirkwood up until now, but it was obvious that he was going to have to make an effort. Celeborn had taken him aside and cautioned him to be a bit more cordial. This was an important visit for all of Lorien and just because "she didn't feel like it" was not an appropriate queenly excuse.
Thranduil had been tame enough upon his official audience, gentlemanly even, but the March Warden knew only too well that beneath that courtly and elegantly upholstered veneer beat the heart a very forward, oversexed hedonist. Haldir tried to repress a shudder recalling the Kings exotic tastes. Looking down at the low bodice of the garment he had chosen for the evening, the March Warden yanked at the gauzy fabric that barely covered his chest. In the flickering candlelight of the dining table Haldir's eyes caught the swell of pale creamy flesh as it peeked out from beneath a beaded canopy of iridescent fabric. Hypnotized by the soft glow, the March Wardens finger traced the ornate neckline as it dipped and crested, quite lost in his own newfound beauty.

"Intoxicating........."

Heated, wine sweetened breath blew against Haldir's ear, startling him from his reverie with a squeaking gasp. The goblet that had been occupying his free hand dropped to the table toppling its crimson contents across the surface. Bounding to his feet to escape the spreading claret, Haldir managed to trip over the excessive length of his gown losing his balance in the process.

In an instant, strong arms encircled his waist and pulled him hard against a solid muscular frame holding him firmly captive. A flush of color heated the Galadrhim's cheeks, for all eyes seemed to be upon him as he lay wantonly within a cocoon of emerald hued fabric.

"It seems milady is lucky I happened by, perhaps the wine has gone to her head?" The King of Mirkwood's voice purred in his ear causing him to shudder with disgust.

"Unhand me, you drunken sod" mumbled Haldir under his breath as Thranduils hand caressed his now bared arm.

Celeborn, having been alerted to his wife's tumble by a concerned dinner guest, hurried to her rescue.

"I beg your pardon..." breathed the Mirkwood King with a leering smirk, taking the opportunity to nuzzle a delicately pointed ear that rested close to his lips.

Haldir bristled. It was one thing to be groped, but he definitely drew the line at ear nibbling. He was just about to show Thranduil a bit of Mirkwood fancy footwork, and perhaps an elbow to the breadbasket, when Celeborn released him from the Kings embrace into his own. Celeborn pulled him close and smoothed down his hitched attire resting a protective hand on his back. Earlier the poor Lord might have received a snarl for such possessive move, but Haldir merely cleared his throat and flashed a dazzling smile in Thanduil's direction, thankful for Celeborn's timely assistance.

"I said..." continued Haldir raising his eyebrows at the smirking royal... " How clumsy of me, quite the clod..."

Haldir looked down at the shimmering dress now besmirched with pink splashes. Galadriel was going to kill him.

"Are you well?" Celeborn held his wife at arms length and gave her a stern appraisal.

"Yes, Meleth, my heart of hearts" replied Haldir batting his eyelashes in what he thought was a mysteriously feminine move.

"I just stumbled upon rising," he continued, quite aware that Thranduil still watched his every move. The Elf's eyes followed him as he relaxed in Celeborns embrace. Despite the fact that the Queen of Light was very much taken....the King of Mirkwood seemed not in the least threatened. In fact by look of lust that reflected back in Thanduil's eyes as he stared, Haldir had no doubt that the royal quite enjoyed it. In a moment of panic Haldir leaned forward and planted a firm kiss upon Celeborn's lips, his hands slipping to give the Lorien Lords arse a sharp squeeze in full view of all who had gathered at the commotion.

Now it was Celeborn's turn to gasp, in fact the move left the usually chatty Lord speechless and wide-eyed.


Galadriel had barely eaten a bite all night and it was no wonder. Between trying to keep an eye on Haldir and fending off the March Warden's fanclub members she had both her hands full. Rumil and Orophin haden ien it upon themselves to seat him with the most persistantly irritating of Elf maids and more than once this evening Galadriel felt the urge to stuff a roll in the little chits mouth just for a moments peace and quiet.

"And then he spotted the ghastly creature out of the corner of his eye and before I could even get an arrow notched, he had it skewered against the nearest tree." Rumil's voice carried above the din of the others diners followed by a cackling giggle fHaldHaldir's illustrious dinner companion.

"Ohhhh Haldir......" she prattled , wrapping her arm about his almost pulling him over oon the process. " You are so daring and valiant. I could listen to these stories all evening....."

Bits of the girl' s flower garland fluttered to cover Galadriel's lap and float about in her wine goblet. Annoyed, she shot Rumil a daggerous look, but the youngster just grinned and saluted his wine, quite enjoying seeing his brother so helplessly ensnared.

A commotion across the courtyard drew Galadriel away from plotting Rumil's sudden retirement to Mordor ,and jumping to her feet to get a better look, she practically dumped the clinging Elfmaid to the ground without even a second thought. Rumil rescued the sputtering maiden from her demise and brushed her off before sending her off with kiss and empty pitcher to find more wine.

" What do you see brother.." replied the young archer playfully picking bits oowerower petals from Haldir's tunic and sprinkling them in his hair.

" Did you just see that....." snapped Galadriel, looking towards the head table.

" See what?" Rumil laid his chin on the his brother's shoulder to get a better look see.

" That!! " Galadriel stammered pointing towards a begowned Haldir practically laying in Thanduil's lap.

" Oh yes." Replied Rumil with a drunken smirk." It seems our Lady has quite fallen for dear Randy Thrandy...." Rumil snorted with laughter only to be cut short by a large hand suddenly covering his mouth.

" Thats enough Rumil...." warned Galadriel narrowing her eyes at the now silent and quite tipsy Galadrhim.

Rumil relaxed and removed his brothers hand with an indignant huff.

"By the Valar Haldir.....what has gotten into you......?" Rumil brushed the petals from his hair and straightened his tunic. " You are no fun anymore........"

Galadriel sighed heavild sqd squeezed her eyes shut. This situation was wearing her thin. She so wanted to just pretend that this was nightmare and when she next opened her eyes she would be safe in her husbands embrace.

"I'm sorry Rumil," she apologized when she finally pulled herself together enough to address the youngster.

"I really am not myself," she continued shaking her head at the utter ridiculous truth of the statement.


"I think that would be a wonderful idea " agreed Celeborn as he motioned towards the Galadrhim seated at the far table. Thranduil sat back in his chair and searched the crowd for his son Legolas whom had accompanied him to Lothlorien. Spying the handsome Elf amid a throng of giggling admirers, he bid the youngster attend him and with a few quiet spoken words, nodded to Celeborn with a wide grin.

Coming to his feet ,Celeborn raised his hand commanding silence from the assembled dinner guests.

"I would like to officially welcome King Thranduil and his son Prince Legolas to our Wood. As is custom for such a regal visit I have left the choice of entertainment for the evening to be decided by our guest. "

Much applause sounded throughout the glade prompting Thranduil to rise and take a bow.

"Thank-you Lord Celeborn" replied the King, nodding as the Lord retook his seat.

"I must admit that this fair realm has much to be prized. The beauty of both the inhabitants and the land are beyoompaompare. " The King motioned for Legolas to come stand at his side. " Though Mirkwood has not the light of this realm it does hold a brilliant jewel of it's own. My son Legolas is a fine Archer, bested by none. I propose that a small contest of skill between he and the best Lorien has to offer be our entertainment this evening."

A hush fell over the guests as Thanduil's competition was announced. There was no doubt who was the best archer in Lorien. With an almost single minded acknowledgment the chant started low and grew louder as the champion was called upon.

" Haldir...........Haldir... Haldir .... Haldir!!!!!!!!!"

Rumil squealed and slapped his brother on the back with excitement. Galadriel felt all the blood run to her feet.

TBC