Never Offend the Lady

Title: Never Offend the Lady (6/9) R Elrond/Legolas mpreg
Author/Email: sandyg writearts2@e...
Pairing: Elrond/Legolas, Elladan/Elrohir

Rg: Rg: R mpreg

Summary: Elrond 1st person POV. Elrond can’t stand not knowing what has happened to Celeborn, which foolishly draws him back to our favorite White Lady’s realm.

Feedback: Sure

Content: Sorry, no real juicy sex but we do get Galadriel back into insulting action.

Disclaimer: All words and deeds are complete fiction from my sick little old mind. Names borrowed simply for wacky entertainment. I love them all and merely let them play under the lovely, ancient trees.

******************************************

I had made up my mind.

Gazing out over the singing river I sighed in grim determination. I couldn’t stand not knowing how my fair Celeborn was fairing. Had spiteful Galadriel done worse to him? Was my gentle spineless lover truly in retreat because of an even more insidious spell?

I needed to know so tomorrow I would leave to visit Lorien.

Trouble was I knew my trip would hurt someone I had grown surprisingly fond of during these past two months. Yes, sweet serious Legolas would never understand my need.

I gazed down at the dozing gentle being, he curled with his golden head resting against my heavy hard belly. While we spent relaxing afternoons resting Legolas would slide up between my legs and kiss my eager flesh, he exciting me until I responded with my pleased cries. Afterward the beauty rested his smooth warm cheek against my belly and dozed off, a satisfied smile on his structured face. Legolas playfully claimed he communicated with my child.

I felt like an utter cad; here I was thinking about the betraying lover who caused all this trouble with me, while the innocent victim of my folly adoringly rested against me.

The problem was I wasn’t sure if Legolas was truly mine or not. After we delivered these children would the sweet young Prince simply return to my passionate twins? Although after how cruelly Elladan had treated Legolas it seemed kelykely. But what if Elladan’s warped personality faded away and he returned to the being lively, merry Elf that Legolas once loved? Would Legolas be seduced away from me?

I wasn’t prone to granting my important love to just anyone. I mean I thought I loved Celeborn but after how he acted... that gentle emotion was on strict probation. But I still needed answers about him.

Yes, of course Legolas had complicated matters by claiming he loved me. He called me his savior, yes, I was also his beautiful Elf lord, his Star, his gray-eyed glory. During our wild mergings when his mouth wasn’t busy Legolas became very vocal in his sweet praises.

I confess his adoring words did no harm to my ancient ego.

Still, remember that Legolas also thought that he once loved my sons so again, what to make of this passionate, beautiful Elf?

All right, now that my determination had set in I wanted to talk to Mithrandir. Actually I wanted him to travel with me; powerful Elven lord or not, in my advanced condition I was a little leery of traveling alone. Ha, I wondered if could stay seated on my steed. If I moved wrong this huge belly might roll me right off.

Although lately I found it more comfortable to sit with my legs slightly spread so sitting on the horse might prove easier.

Ha. I doubted it.

Shifting I gently tried moving my heavy body away from Legolas. A sleepy little squeak sounded, those glorious blue eyes opening. "My love? What is it..."

I smiled down at him. "Shh, young one. Remain at rest. I need to speak to Mithrandir."

Sitting slowly Legolas raked his thick golden hair back, he then stretching lazily, rolling his head as he shivered. Gods, even with his pregnant belly he was still gloriously lovely. His belly rolled out right from directly under his pectorals and swooped down toward his crotch. Still, Legolas never complained; no, after he became my lover he had calmed down and become content with his ever-expanding condition. He amazed me.

Sometimes I even caught Legolas gazing out over the murmuring water while he caressed his large belly and sang. That’s when he claimed he communicated with his own children. Yes, I noticed after Elladan hurt him the children had become Legolas’ children alone. Interesting.

His wide curious eyes trained on me, a hit of worry shadowing their flawless blue depths. "Why must you see him? Oh, Elrond, is something wrong? Do you feel unwell?"

My beauty was so sweet. I gave myself credit; at least I felt sad about hurting Legolas. Well, I might as well thrust the dagger in right now. "Well, you could say that. I am extremely troubled about Celeborn so I need to travel to Lothlorien."

Legolas’ instant response surprised me. "Then I shall travel with you."

I know I looked startled. "Now tell me, my beauty, why would you want to do that?"

"Because I will feel miserable without you. I will feel miserable not knowing what is happening. I’m also... not comfortable remaining behind without you here to protect me. Will you ask Mithrandir to go with us?"

"Did I say you were going with me?"

Legolas straightened his slender shoulders, he looking extremely serious. "No, but I am."

A slow smile curved my thin lips. Wonderful, now that I needed sweet Legolas to be placid and docile he decided to show me his regal determined side. He also had a point about fearing Elladan. "Legolas, you are eight months pregnant with twins. Your beautiful belly is so big! Can you really tolerate jostling those babies about? Don’t you think you’ll feel more miserable riding on horseback for a few days?"

"I suppose I will but I truly know I’ll feel more miserable without you." Now Legolas examined me closely, his wide blue eyes serious. "Elrond, perhaps someday you’ll understand that I am still an Elven warrior. Unlike others I find no need to be stern and tough all the time. I know I can endure the journey." His long fingers seductively teased my heavy belly. "Hmm, someone else I know is also eight months pregnant. Are you crafted from much more indestructible flesh than I am? Don’t you think you’ll be uncomfortable bouncing up and down on a horse?"

This time Legolas made me laugh. "All right, stop it. But I warn you, if you come along I don’t want to hear a word about how your adorable ass hurts from riding too long. I plan on only stopping when physically necessary."

Legolas pressed his fingers to his lips. "Not a single word will cross my lips."

All right. But this felt very wrong.

***************************************

"Elrond, you have gone completely mad!" Mithrandir’s thick gray beard almost curled in his simmering fury. "What are you going to do, storm Lothlorien and snatch Celeborn away? You are insane for even thinking about going near Galadriel. Do you think she’ll even let you past the outer barriers?"

Please don’t push me. "Yes I do and no, I don’t plan on taking rash action. I simply must know why I have heard no news. I also want to see Arwen. I find it odd that she’s not contacted me since this whole news broke. I mean eight entire months without any contact? That’s simply not like her."

Elladan shot me a teasing smirk from where he lazed with lovely Elothir, their long fingers seductively caressing each other’s round bellies. Although we hardly spoke anymore I had thought it polite to inform them on my decision, even though their opinion made no difference to me. "Father, how many times must I tell you, my dear prudish Sister is probably so beside herself with embarrassment that she doesn’t want to see us."

I shrugged, talking more to the wall than to him. "Even if that’s the case I still want to see her, to reassure myself that she’s all right."

Mithrandir looked intensely sour. "And I suppose the punchline here is I need to go with you."

I offered Mithrandir a sharp smile. "Indeed yes, especially since our Legolas is coming along."

Now my twins looked amazed. Elladan frowned in confusion. "Why do you want Legolas to come along? Ha, why not just haul along a fat useless anchor?"

As he spoke Legolas’ slender fingers touched my cheek. "For your information, not that I care if you know this, Elladan, but my dear savior Elrond doesn’t want me along. I insist on coming since I don’t want to be away from him. And I hardly want to remain here with you!" Hmm, Legolas was becoming more adept at snapping back at Elladan.

Elladan snorted in sneering amusement. "Well isn’t that just too sweet, yes..." Seeing my cold sharp glare he went no further. Yes, my son had wisely discovered the fine art of self censorship.

My gentle Elrohir sat straighter, his wide gray gaze intensely concerned. "But Legolas, aren’t you worried about the danger to your children?"

Legolas lovingly caressed his own belly. "Nothing will happen. Galadriel won’t let anything happen to them."

Ha, the lad had an interesting point. Maybe I wouldn’t fall off my horse. Or if I did my "smash my head into a rock" theory might hold true.

Perhaps I was insane. But I must have answers!

************************************

Four grueling days later Mithrandir gazed about the silent ancient forest soaring toward the heavens. "Well, if they’re going to stop us now would be the perfect time." "The"They won’t dare stop us." Or so I hoped. We rode forward, I sensing alert eyes on us, feeling the spell wards slowly part for us. Deeper, deeper we traveled into the thick Golden Wood. Suddenly the hair at the nape of my neck prickled in a familiar, almost painful sensation. Yes, hello, my dear Galadriel.

Legolas uttered a strangled little cry. I halted, wheeling back toward him. "Legolas?"

Shaking his head Legolas offered me his radiant smile. "No, please, I’m fine, it’s just... I felt the babies moving very hard in me."

Mithrandir nodded. "Yes, they’re probably reacting to Galadriel. I know you both felt her, well, I’m not sure if it was a greeting but..."

My upper lip curled in contempt. "It was her vicious little "ha, I know you’re here" tweak. So excellent, let’s see how hard we must fight to see her."

Coming to the edge of the inner complex we dismounted; well, Mithrandir and I dismounted. Only through sheer force of will did I dismount without falling flat on my face. After shaking off my dizziness I helped poor, off-balance Legolas roll down from his steed. Once he rested his heavy belly against mine Legolas kissed me in swift thanks. When I steadied him on the ground Legolas almost huddled against me, his wide eyes intensely watchful. Oh no, I saw his slender hands quickly flutter up toward his back.

"Legolas, do not grab your bow."

His concerned blue eyes darted up to mine. "My Elrond, having it at hand would make me feel a touch safer."

"No. Absolutely not. Don’t give anyone an excuse to react negatively to us." Ha, I should talk; my strong right hand hovered near my thin sword’s well-worn hilt.

Mithrandir’s sharp eyes cautioned me. Yes, I know but standing here with my belly pressing grandly into the air made me brutally apprehensive. What a hilarious round target I made! Poor Legolas’ pregnant belly looked even more exposed. I also thought if any of these arrogant Elves laughed or even snickered I’d draw my sword and run them through without a second thought.

Stately Lorien warriors came to take our mounts, they eyeing us with a mix of respect, suspicion and, worst of all, quick amusement. When I cast my cold gray glare over them their amusement vanished like river mist. Don’t try me, you wretched minions!

Not to my surprise Haldir stood watching us, he offering me a brief bow. "Why, Lord Elrond, what a complete surprise. To what do we owe this charming unexpected pleasure?" His light sneer told me exactly what he thought of me.

My limited patience rode back to Rivendell. Standing tall I proudly thrust my big belly into the air. "This is no pleasure for me, you sniveling little cretin, especially when I must deal with smirking Elves like you. Now leave me be."

Haldir’s sneer faded, he quietly examining my enraged face. "I suppose, Lord Elrond, you want to see Galadriel."

Thinning my lips I shook my head in denial. "Actually I’d rather see Celeborn or my daughter."

"Too bad. First you shall see me." Right on cue Galadriel gracefully moved through the trees toward us, she looking as lovely as ever. As I stared at the Lady’s shining glory I imagined a large black lumpy wart distorting her elegant nose. Although childish the little vision made me feel slightly better.

Galadriel’s sweet voice curled around us, her false tone sticking to us like poisoned syrup. "Mithrandir, how fine; it’s been a long time. So are you playing babysitter these days?"

Mithrandir inclined his head in cautious greeting. I knew his ego hated feeling threatened. "Well, I thought I should come along."

"Really. How terribly sweet of you." Galadriel raked her perfect wide eyes over me, a cutting smile gracing her thin lips. "Elrond, my, my, you’re looking lush and voluptuous these days, yes, what an impressively round belly you’ve developed. Quite an interesting change, eh, from the sleek slim body you’ve always been so eager to share with your cheating lovers? And why look who else came to visit? Yes, dear Legolas, do remember to say hello to your Father for me... oh that’s right, tsk, tsk, you’ve been disinherited for being a foul little slut. You finally lived down to all of Thranduil’s expectations." Galadriel’s wide eyes narrowed before she laughed in mocking delight. "Now why does such a fat, swollen creature still carry his bow? Ha, boy, I’d like to see you try and use it!"

Legolas instantly tensed. I quickly glanced at him in warning before I actually laughed. "Yes, and hello to you, my dear mother-in-law. Now that you’ve enjoyed the sight of me swollen heavy with Celeborn’s baby and insulted us all can we talk like mature immortals?"

Galadriel cocked her head at me. "Why? Do we have something to say to each other?"

Mithrandir squinted at us. "Erm, quite frankly I think it may be more auspicious for us to go sit and relax. I confess my tired old rump is a little saddle sore."

"Very well. Come." Galadriel swiftly turned and stalked away.

Mithrandir winked at me. We followed the bitch’s stiff elegant back. As usual I felt Galadriel gave in too easily. I would make sure I watched every step I made.

I heard a choked little sniff. Oh no. As he slowly waddled forward sparkling tears stained Legolas’ flushed cheeks. How sad; he had been so good these past months!

Well, Galadriel in full insult mode was enough to make anyone cry. Sighing I concentrated on examining the ground for subtle traps.

Swift rustling sounded. I whirled around, gasping in complete alarm. Legolas has his bow out and cocked, an arrow winging free to slam into a far off tree just beyond Galadriel’s golden head.

Oh Gods no!

Galadriel’s mocking voice airily floated back to us. She never even turned around. "Nice shot, swollen one. Haldir, take the silly boy’s weapons from him."

Haldir walked up, he arrogantly holding out his powerful hands. Looking defensive Legolas clutched his precious bow against his curved belly. I frowned at him. "Legolas."

Biting his lip Legolas gave up his bow, he stiffly letting Haldir remove his arrow-filled quiver. Haldir offered him a cutting leer. "We don’t want any accidents now, do we, fat bow boy?"

Legolas hissed in fury. "Why don’t you enjoy a fatal holiday in Mordor?"

I laughed at Legolas’ childish defiance. "Yes, what a grand idea."

Haldir shot me a deep frown before he mockingly bowed, gesturing us forward. I walked on, sensing a swift grab at my sword. Snarling I grasped Haldir’s strong wrist in my fingers. I glared at his startled face. "Don’t ever, ever try to take my sword away from me." I dug my ruthless long fingers directly into Haldir’s tendons, squeezing as hard as I could. Oh, I enjoyed the grimace of sick pain marring his handsome face.

Trying not to drop to his knees Haldir gasped in surprised agony. "Very well, Lord Elrond. Forgive me."

Releasing Haldir’s wrist I took Legolas’ right arm in mine.

Galadriel stood waiting on the lowest level of stairs. Her bright eyes snapped down at me. "Are you quite done being unpleasant?"

I merely graciously inclined my head. Bah, I had the feeling I was just warming up.

After our drama we walked in silence, clig thg the many stairs to Galadriel’s study. Oh, my back ached and my stretched skin itched. I could only imagine how uncomfortable poor Legolas felt; during the hellish ride just as he promised he never complained, even though I could tell he was in agony.

Legolas’ strained panting made me want to lift him up, but I wasn’t sure if I could balance us both properly. Instead I clutched Legolas’ slim arm, helping him valiantly struggle up the last three steps, his beautiful face flushed with effort. Before we entered I paused, the poor beauty gratefully bringing his breathing back to a normal level.

I simply couldn’t believe how Legolas boldly shot his arrow past Galadriel. This young one constantly surprised me.

Once inside Legolas instantly collapsed on a low couch, he biting his lower lip as he gazed up at me, a ghost of his usual bright smile fighting through his tears. I settled next to him, my strong arm offering his slight shoulders a comforting squeeze. Mithrandir perched on a chair by the door, he carefully watching us all. Ha, my old friend looked more than ready to escape back to Rivendell.

Galadriel gracefully settled into her carved chair before the window, she making sure a soft sunny glow enveloped her scrawny body. Nice trick, you dramatic old bitch. Her wide eyes coldly watched Legolas until they shifted to me. Her upper lip curled in practiced disgust. "Does this swollen ex-prince always snivel so basely? Don’t you find that tiresome habit annoying?"

To my shock Legolas spoke up. "My Lady, I am not sniveling."

Galadriel barely glanced at Legolas. Her hard voice almost ripped his pale skin. "Oh? And who asked you? If I say you’re sniveling so be it, you insignificant spec. Oh, wait, I can’t call you that; you’re quite a massive fat spec."

I almost winced. Galadriel really detested poor Legolas and that nasty bow incident certainly hadn’t won him any ground with her. Before my unstable young lover caused more trouble I quickly spoke up. "Come now, enough pleasant banter. We’re already off topic here. Now, dear Galadriel, I’d like to see Celeborn."

"Why?"

"Because I am curious to see if he’s still alive."

Silence.

Galadriel released merry loud laughter, her blue eyes actually sparkling. "Why sweet Elrond, how gallant of you! You rode all the way here to check on your ex-lover? Trust me, Celeborn is fine yet I think he holds no desire to see you."

"And why would that be?"

Galadriel’s stinging little smile could have stopped a horde of charging rabid Orcs. "Why do you think he’d want to see the annoying Elf who got him into all this trouble?"

Now what was this arch nonsense? Tapping one long finger against my firm chin I cocked my head. "Hmm, let’s see, Galadriel, I do believe you have this all wrong. If my memory doesn’t fail me you were the one to cast that special little spell on us."

Galadriel raised one thin brow at me. "Ahh, but I wasn’t the one who made you all rut with each other." One thin hand gestured at her oh so proper stiff posture. "I drank the mead; do you see me growing hilariously round with a brat? No. If you all hadn’t given into your animal male lusts there would have been no problems for any of you."

Ha, dear wicked Galadriel was an immortal treat. I almost wished I didn’t detest her so much since her logic was deliciously twisted. Smiling I flapped my fingers at her. "Fine, so be it. Be that as it may I still want to see Celeborn."

"Well, I’ll tell Celeborn you’re here. I’ll leave the decision to see you up to him." Rising Galadriel glided to her door. She paused, casting her extra-damaged smile over all of us. "Oh, how rude of me. Can I offer you refreshments? Care for some mead?"

I merely smiled and shook my head no.

Poor Legolas sniffed again.

Once she left Mithrandir released a low long whistle. "Whew, now there’s a regal witch with a stinging bee in her robe. Legolas, my lad, why does she hate you so much?"

Legolas bravely swallowed a fresh sniff. "Oh, I... well you know at first Galadriel groomed m be be a sorcerer but then she determined I’d make a better warrior. I had the potential to be the best bowman in Middle Earth but I grew... so bored. So I returned home then when Elrond invited me to Rivendell I... discovered I had more fun being adored. Of course Galadriel hates her failures."

Trying to comfort Legolas I held him close again. "Dear Legolas, you are not a failure; you’re just not what she wanted."

"Thank you, my dear lord." Legolas rested his shimmering head on my shoulder. As we waited I stroked his long hair. Mithrandir’s fingers twiddled with his long gray robe.

Long minutes passed.

The door abruptly swung open, Celeborn waddling slowly into the room. I blinked in stunned amazement. Here I thought Legolas and myself had grown large; Celeborn was brutally immense. His ponderous belly swayed before him in a shockingly colossal curve. By the Gods even his once swift body now dripped with puffy weight. Urgh, Galadriel had definitely saved her ultimate wrath for him. I controlled a shudder, thanking the Gods I wasn’t her main target.

My ex-lover’s wide angry eyes cruelly swept across us. "You foul bastard, why did you come here? To laugh at me with your new lover?"

Hold on here. "No, Celeborn, I came here because I felt extremely worried about you."

Celeborn reld a d a cruel laugh. "Worried? Ha! What a farce! Listen, it’s your evil fault I am like this! Your consuming lust has ruined my life. Because of your lust look what Galadriel has done to me! I am grotesque! You have ruined me, you old trickster!"

Blinking once I made no comment. Ha, there was nothing I could say. So Galadriel was right; Celeborn had worked himself up into thinking I was to blame. The gentle love I kept on probation was tossed right into my mental rubbish heap. Well, that was quick.

Sighing deeply I shook my head. "Well, Celeborn, I feel sorry that you believe Galadriel’s warped logic. Fine." Rising I smoothed my thin leather jerkin over my large belly. Hold on, I wasn’t going to be noble and merely walk away. "Unfortunately, Celeborn, I think I have been cheated here. I carry your child, and if he or she turns out like you I will feel vastly disappointed. But I certainly hope the child your are carrying turns out nothing like me, no, I hope the child is all you, Celeborn: spineless, cowardly and weak!"

Celeborn’s intense eyes glared at me. "Oh, you dare to..."

I regally held up my right hand. "I dare because it’s the simple truth. Now I do believe we’ll be going." I tried ignoring Legolas’ pained little whimper. Turning I helped him up, sweetly kissing his smooth cheek. Mithrandir remained silent, a deep frown on his watchful old face.

To my dismay Legolas desperately gripped my hands. "Elrond, please, I need to lie down for just a little while. I..." Legolas frowned in complete distress. "Oh my dear lord, I know I promised not to complain but if we are riding directly back...I will never make it. I need rest."

Damn, Legolas was right; turning right around and leaving would also tax my immortal endurance. "Look, my dear one, stretch out here. I want to look for Arwen. Rest here, all right? No one will bother you."

Celeborn’s cruel voice sliced at me. "So now you call the little Prince dear? How fickle you are with your affections."

By the Old Gods’ Blood was everyone in Lorien determined to infuriate me into a murderous rage? Turning I pointed a stiff finger directly at Celeborn. My enraged voice captured vast summertime thunder. "Tell me, you weak, simpering, spineless Sindarian fool, why should I call you dear? You rejected me. After I believed you about Galadriel not caring what you did you rejected me and clung to a female who went and turned you into the bloated wreck I see before me! Celeborn, you have no right to act the jilted lover with me, you swollen Elf." I shook my thick black mane. "You gave up all rights to my precious emotions when you lied to me. Yes, I was a great fool to come here out of fear for your welfare, but ah, I was a greater fool to dream that Galadriel truly didn’t care about you. Just you telling me so didn’t make it true."

"What?" One cold sharp word echoed in the doorway followed by an even colder looking Galadriel. Yes, she almost made ice look hot.

I hissed in continued fury. "Don’t you dare what me, you vindictive creature. Your dear spineless mate told me that you no longer cared what he did so that’s why I fell into your clever trap. How you must be laughing at me. What exquisite fun this all must be for you."

After examining me Galadriel’s wide shimmering eyes lashed at Celeborn. "So, Celeborn, you told Elrond that?"

Celeborn’s bloated face looked bitter. "Well, my so-called wife, it’s the damned truth!"

Galadriel crossed her slender arms, she glowering in jealous fury. "Husband, I take exception to your faulty old memory. It was you who lost interest in me. You left my bed!"

They glared at each other. Ha, nice to see Celeborn had a little spine left.

Poor Mithrandir looked like a huge burst of laughter threatened his composure. I angrily waved my hands into the air. "Hold on, am I hearing this correctly? I am standing here eight months pregnant with child because you two can’t talk to each other about who left who?"

Galadriel tried to freeze me with three cold words. "Be quiet, Elrond."

Don’t you tell me what to do! "By Sauron’s One Ring you two are utterly pathetic! I... oh I wish you all the pleasures of figuring out who decided to ignore who! You’re both so pathetic you deserve each other until Middle Earth completely falls into the grasping sea."

Mithrandir angrily shook his head at me, he bugging his bright eyes in furious mute warning.

Now Galadriel shot icy sparks at me, her brilliant blue eyes shimmering in lethal rage. "Elrond, my dear lord, the only reason I don’t sent you directly into Mt. Doom is your dear daughter."

Crossing my arms over my huge belly I snorted in mocking disgust. "Ha, you couldn’t conquer me even if you wanted to, you pathetic old witch." My word, I sounded like Elladan.

"Ahem!!! Look, erm, let’s please stop this unwise conversation right here. Ahh, my dear Lady, can we have a place to rest tonight? Come tomw’s w’s dawn I assure you we’ll be out of the way. Can I, as your old friend, ask that of you, dear Galadriel?" Mithrandir smiled encouragingly. Oh go ahead, act cute.

Silence.

Galadriel finally offered me a frigid smile. "Very well. Never let it be said that Lorien can’t be generous to those who actively insult its mistress."

Before I could open my mouth again Mithrandir physically grabbed my right arm. "Come on, Elrond, yes, Legolas, that’s my lad, let’s go find you a soft bed to rest in. Up, up!"

Bah, what was the? I ? I was sounding as immature as Galadriel. Still, releasing all your vocal inhibitions was deliciously amusing. Deciding to let the angry witch have the last word I let Mithrandir haul me from her study. Retainers swiftly showed us to a single crammed room crowded with three beds. Moaning softly in pain Legolas instantly collapsed onto the closest bed.

Mithrandir fiercely shook his head at me. "Well, Elrond, you were really pushing things a bit."

I scoffed off his anger. "I had a right to. Those two... I swear they are becoming senile."

My old friend choked in alarm. "Well, do me a huge favor and don’t tell Galadriel that, all right? Keep that breaking news to yourself. I’d like to leave tomorrow under my own power, not because Galadriel decides to send us into another realm."

I could only frown in irritated annoyance. What did any of it matter? Perching on another bed I undid my leather travel jerkin then I vigorously scratched my stretched hard flesh. Ahh, that blessed relief lightened my foul mood a degree or two.

Now to find my Arwen.