Forever His

TITLE: Forever His ~ Amends (8/13)
RATING: PG-13.

Amends


The next afternoon, the group was filming one of the Fellowship scenes and, as such, Orlando was faced with the Hobbits a little sooner than he would have liked. He was relieved to note that they were marginally warmer to him – they weren’t friendly, but they weren’t as hostile as they had been either.

Dom sighed as he watched Orlando talk to Viggo. “Are you sure you did the right thing, Elijah?”

Billy shook his head. “We’ve had this conversation five times already. Stop dwelling on it, Dom.”

Elijah bit his lip. “I don’t want us to keep fighting. For the sake of the film, I’m willing to be friendly.”

“That’s very big of you, Elijah.” Sean Bean had come over to join the conversation. “Everyone’s impressed with how gracious you’ve been.”

“I haven’t forgiven him,” Elijah was quick to point out. “I just know how much easier things are when the cast gets on.”

Sean nodded. “Of course. No-one’s expecting you to forget what happened.”

Elijah smiled. “Thanks, Sean. It means a lot to me that you would come over and tell me this.”

“You’re welcome.” Sean smiled. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve been instructed to take Dom and Billy and practise our swordfight.”

Billy grinned at this. “Prepare to be mightily beaten,” he teased.

“You might be bigger than us, but there’s only one of you,” Dom joined in as he and Billy followed Sean away.

Elijah smiled as he turned to Sean Astin. “What is it about those two that can stop you being miserable?”

Sean shrugged. “Could be the fact that they wouldn’t know sanity if it came up to them carrying a big neon sign.”

Elijah giggled at this. “Much as I agree with your point, you have just left me with an incredibly strange mental image.”

“If it’s keeping you cheerful, I’ll gladly conjure up more.” Sean smiled affectionately at his young co-star. “Though you may have to explain youddendden giddiness to Clea when we get back.”

“Well, I doubt she’ll mind,” Elijah teased, before turning serious. “Thank you for persuading her to come back here.”

“You’re welcome,” Sean replied. “Though she didn’t take much persuading, truth be told.”

As he said this, Peter arrived at the set. “Alright guys, let’s get going. We’ve still got quite a bit of stuff to get through today.”

The actors all gathered round, eager to get the afternoon’s filming out of the way as quickly as possible. The director’s eyes fell on Elijah. “I hope you keep the concentration you had this morning. That’s the sort of speed I’m going to be running at from now on.”

Elijah smiled at this. “Don’t worry, I will.”


~EW~*~JH~


That night, as they reached the hotel, Sean turned to his weary-looking companion. “Anyone would think that Peter was trying to kill us.”

Elijah smiled at this. “He’s just trying to catch up,” he reasoned. “Though what amazes me is how the others could even think of going out after today.”

Sean was about to reply when he spotted Clea standing by the reception desk. He was about to call to her, but Elijah got there first.

“Hey, Clea. Is everything alright?”

Clea nodded. “Everything’s fine. You look tired.”

“It’s been a heavy shoot,” Sean explained. “Peter’s keen to make up for lost time.”

“I see.” Clea sounded almost a little distracted. “Listen, Sean, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Sean nodded. “Of course.” He turned to Elijah. “Do you want to go on up ahead?”

Elijah nodded, yawning as he did so. “If you knock and there’s no answer, it’ll be because I’ve collapsed from exhaustion.”

As the young American walked away, Sean turned to Clea. “You think we’re doing the right thing?”

Clea shrugged. “It’s the only way I can think of getting them to talk again. Otherwise I’d be all for waiting until Lij was less tired.”

Sean nodded. “I see your point. I just hope they manage to work things out.


~EW~*~JH~


Elijah let out a sigh of relief as he slid his key into the room door. His bed was calling to him, and he was all too eager to answer.

In his tired state, it took him a while to figure out that the key didn’t seem to want to turn. Glancing down, he soon spotted the reason for this – something was wedging the door open, probably the complimentary bible by the looks of it.

Suddenly cautious, Elijah slowly pushed the door open. His eyes immediately fell on the lone figure sat on the bed, fidgeting with his hands. Speaking as though he was afraid of it being some sort of trick, Elijah quietly uttered, “Josh.”

Josh stood up at the soft, familiar voice. “Sorry I didn’t warn you. I wanted to, but Clea seemed to think it’d be better like this.”

Elijah nodded, now understanding what he had been too tired to question before. “Maybe she was right. It depends on what you’ve come here to say.”

Josh sighed. “I’ve come to apologise. I know it doesn’t even come close to making up for what I’ve done…” He trailed off, his voice catching a little. “I swear, I never meant to hurt you, Lij.”

Elijah moved a little further into the room. “Well, you did. Even if you hadn’t actually…done what you did, the fact that you couldn’t even trust me was enough.”

Josh nodded. “I know. And…I’ve been thinking, about how Orlando managed to convince me…Are you willing to hear me out?”

Elijah hesitantly moved even closer to Josh. “Since you’ve come all this way, I suppose I should.”

Josh forced himself to meet his lover’s gaze, no matter how much he wanted not to. “I’ve never deserved you, Lij. You’ve always been so trusting and open, and there’s no way I could even begin to compete with that. You’ve always been my better half, and I’ve accepted that. But then I met Orlando, and suddenly there was someone who saw me as better than you. I know it’s no excuse, but I guess I got caught up in the attention.”

Elijah bit his lip, forcing back tears. “That still doesn’t explain why you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“But it does.” Josh seemed to be struggling to keep composure. “It was easier for me to believe Orlando’s side of the story, because then…then it wouldn’t be as bad when something did happen between us.”

Elijah looked down. “So this is all my fault? I should have guessed.”

“No, Elijah, it’s not.” Josh reached to lift the smaller man’s head. “It’s my fault for wanting to throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Elijah allowed his love to tilt his face upwards, though he was fully conscious of the tears streaming down his face. “If you felt I wasn’t paying you enough attention, you should have just said something.”

“I know that, now.” Josh felt tears roll down his own cheeks, mostly as a reaction to seeing Elijah so upset. “Can you forgive me?”

Elijah bit his lip, torn between his anger and his love for the other. He meant for his next words to come out as a statement, but it ended up more as a question. “Orlando said…he said that when you were…together…you cried out to me?”

Josh nodded. Pacing away a little, he replied, “He always picked me up on it. That’s what made me begin to realise what he really is. He seemed to delight in making me feel guilty for wanting you.”

Elijah moved to sit oe ede edge of the bed, suddenly feeling a little shaky. Looking up at the older American, he offered, “I never wanted you to get hurt because of me.”

“I didn’t get hurt because of you.” Josh moved to sit beside his companion, aware of the sudden change that had come over his lover. “Even when Orlando and I…betrayed you…it didn’t mean anything. I thought he could replace you, but every moment we shared just made me miss you more. I love you, Lij.”

Elijah finally yielded to the overwhelming urge to cry properly. “I love you too, Josh,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

Josh gently stroked the younger man’s cheek. “Stop apologising, Lij. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Elijah instinctively leant into the touch. “I’ve missed you so badly. I should have made more of an effort to contact you.”

“What, because you’re the only one of us who knows how to work a phone? We both could have made more of an effort, only we didn’t. I should have come to see you sooner.” Josh was finding it nearly impossible to remain unaffected by the state of his boyfriend. “But we can’t change the past now. The only thing we can do is decide where we go from here.”

Elijah sniffled a little at this. “Part of me wants to walk away,” he confessed. “But I can’t. Not after all we’ve shared. Most of me believes we can work through this.”

The relief on Josh’s face was all too apparent. “I was so afraid you’d tell me where to go,” he admitted. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had, of course…but I’m glad you haven’t.”

Elijah cautiously shifted closer to his lover. “Just promise me…next time I tell you something…anything…promise me you won’t doubt me.”

“After all that’s happened, I’d have to be even stupider than I already am to do that.” Josh finally risked pulling Elijah to him, loving the feeling of having his beloved back in his arms.

Elijah allowed his head to rest on Josh’s chest. “Thank you for coming out here. I’m glad you did.”

“So am I.” Josh gently kissed the top of his companion’s head. “And since I’m partly to blame for your current state, I’m going to stay until I’m sure you’re back to normal. If you’ll let me, of course.”

Elijah glanced up. “If you can stay, I would love you to. The others have been great at looking after me, but…they’re not you.”

Josh was about to reply when there was a tap at the door. Two heads poked around, checking to see if they were welcome.

Elijah smiled when he saw them. “Come in, you guys. It’s safe.”

Sean held open the door for Clea to go in first. She couldn’t help but smile as she saw Elijah lying in Josh’s arms. “It’s about fucking time,” she commented.

Josh grinned. “I guess we should thank you. I know I appreciate everything you’ve done for us…for Lij.”

Elijah nodded. “Thanks, Clea. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“It’s not just me you should be thanking.” Clea was obviously touched by their comments.

“I was getting to that.” Elijah turned to Sean. “You’ve been so great to me, Sean. I owe you so much – the three of you, really. You’ve kept me almost sane.”

Sean smiled. “Seeing you happy again is thanks enough for me.”

Josh glanced down at his lover, who seemed to be fighting to stay awake. “It’s not that I want to chuck you guys out,” he said, turning back to the others, “but I think Lij needs his sleep.”

Clea shook her head amusedly. “You’ve gone back to that so naturally, Josh. That’s definitely a good sign.”

Sean moved to the door. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he offered.

Elijah nodded, barely lifting his head. “See you tomorrow,” he echoed.

Once they were alone again, Josh moved back a little. “Do you want me to leave you?” he asked, still a little apprehensive.

Elijah shook his head. “Please don’t?”

“Alright.” Josh brushed some stray hairs from Elijah’s face. “I was kinda hoping you would say that.”

Elijah smiled. “Are you sure I’m the better half?”

“I’m surer now than I was before. As such, I’m going to make sure I appreciate you more this time.”

Elijah nodded as he shifted into a lying position on top of the bed. “Only if you’re prepared to accept that to me, you are perfect. I promise I won’t make you feel as though you need to look elsewhere to be told.”

Josh smiled a little at this. “Then we’re agreed. Tonight is a fresh start?”

Elijah returned the smile. “We’re agreed.”

Josh moved to lie next to his lover. “You’re not botng wng with changing and getting under the covers, then?”

Elijah shook his head. “It’s enough of an effort to keep my eyes open, never mind all of that.”

Josh wrapped his arms around the smaller man, pulling him closer. “Then I’ll just have to take it upon myself to make sure you don’t get cold.”

Elijah snuggled closer, sighing contentedly. “Suits me.”