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Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Feud
www.feud.shadowess.com
by erobey, robey61@yahoo.com
beta'd by Sarah AK

Disclaimer: The recognised characters and settings used in this fiction were created by JRR Tolkien. The words, other characters, and ideas here surrounding them belong to erobey alone. No infringement is intended or monies earned through this work.

Chapter 72: Thranduil ar Meril [Thranduil and Meril]

Meril went to her daughter's rooms and found Thranduil finishing up one of his famous fables featuring dragons, dwarves and brave Sindarin knights of Doriath. As usual, some great treasure was involved. The tale ended with death for the dragons, outsmarting of the dwarves, and the recovery of a priceless heirloom of the elf king's house. With a magnificent flourish and fitting dramatic effect Thranduil presented this worthy item to his elleth dithen [little girl], seeming to magically produce it from the very ether. It was a tremendous blood red ruby in a silver box lined in pure white velvet. Gwilith squealed delightedly, clapping, and accepted the token with appropriate awe as she exhibited the jewel for her naneth's inspection.

The royal consort smiled as she approached and kissed Thranduil's forehead before leaning down to secure the covers round her princess and press adoring lips against both cherubic cheeks. She made the obligatory compliments regarding the rarity of so fine an artefact and bade her elfling sleep. To her husband Meril gave instructions not to remain over long, keeping their child from her rest, and then retreated to their chambers to await the chance to unleash her bitter opposition.

Her patience was not tested, however, for Thranduil followed less than an hour later.

"Tell me about Erebor," he demanded peremptorily and settled in his armchair by the fireside.

Meril started in surprise, for she had not heard this tone from her husband before. This was not the churlish irritation reserved for remarks directed at the woodland populace at large, reminiscent of a long-suffering superior dismayed by his underlings' lack of mental acuity. Neither was this the bored timbre he often adopted for brief replies to her long-winded retelling of day to day events within the Realm. Yet, it was also not the distrustful reserve fringing the syllables of state Thranduil used when treating with foreigners or elves of Noldo descent.

{At least,} she reflected, {the words were not spoken in the searing acrimonious contempt that coats even his faintest reference to the former Queen.} Meril's heart thudded irregularly for a second, for while his mood matched none of the negative sort to which he was by habit inclined, the short sentence also held nothing of the indulgent and adoring devotion he professed to feel for her. This was an order; abrupt and to the point, stated with cold confidence of immediate obedience. She approached cautiously and sat in the corresponding seat on the opposite side of the grate.

"What do you mean, tell you of Erebor? I am no warrior; I was never there," she stalled, hoping to draw him out and discover if he had facts or only suspicions.

"Very well." How he despised this vocal two-step. A talk between bond-mates aught not to proceed after the fashion of opponents circling and feinting, attempting to uncover each other's weaknesses. "Do you mean that you have no knowledge of what transpired?" he leaned forward and watched her eyes keenly, for though he was loath to admit it he suspected his wife of being a rather gifted liar.

"Nay, that is not what I said. I learned from others what happened; my husband was killed at the feet of the Lonely Mountain defending Andamaitë, his comrade in arms."

"From others, such as Lindalcon? Are your own dreams not affected by the visions to which he attested today?"

"He said this?" she almost wailed out the query and wrung her hands. "Ai! He did not mention that to me! What did he say?"

Thranduil assessed her manner and her vocal signals and found both fear in them and truth; she had not been aware of her son's dreams and was genuinely fearful over the impact on the youth rather than what these images forebode. {Or so she appears.} He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes with his hands, rising to pace around the room.

"Lindalcon stated quite earnestly that his father will never rest until the truth of Er isr is revealed. Whenever he sleeps, your son relives the battle as his adar experienced it." {Complete with the horrific moment of death, no doubt!}

"Niena's Tears! When will this nightmare release us? Lindalcon does not deserve to suffer thus!" she cried and clenched her hands together in her lap, one tremendous fist of helpless rage.

"Indeed he does not. Meril, you will need to explain this fully. You must see that the past will not simply fade away because you wish it."

"Explain? What am I to divulge? I am not the one enduring these apparitions and I was not on the battlefield. You ought to know more than I for you led the soldiers hence!"

"Do not bring that up!" he spun in his steps and faced her, features framed in restrained reproach. Too familiar was this scene for his liking and a part of his soul recoiled, seeking shelter behind an icy wall of contemptuous self-righteousness he thought their love had melted away forever. "We are not discussing why Valtamar was there but why he died there! I find it strange that you are not perturbed by memories of your first husband, almost as if you wish to purge him from your thoughts."

"How can you take me to task for giving over my grief and indulging the love we have discovered? You speak as if I had something to do with Valtamar's end! That is what the Tawarwaith said to me! You believe that outcast over the words of your wife, the mother of your children?"

"Is that what he said to you, Meril, that you were the cause of Valtamar's demise?" Two steps brought him to the side of her chair. He gazed down upon his wife with fearful intensity as a sudden phantom of Ningloriel rose within his mind. "Yesterday you indicated he threatened you and our children for naming him as the culprit. Yet, in court he insisted fervently that he is the only one to blame.t hat hardly seems consistent with your claims."

"Ai! You are turning all my words around! I cannot conceive why you have abandoned me, Enedh o Guren [Centre of my Heart]!" Meril presented her spouse with an expression emergent from soul-betrayed outrage. Tears began to spill down the Woodland inu's cheeks in silent testimony to her distraught mind.

"I am not deserting you, Iaunen [My Sanctuary], I am right here," the King knelt beside her chair and clasped her rigid hands between his gently. Truly did he love her and so desperately desired to trust. He looked resolutely into the overbrimming orbs of rich walnut brown and felt his conviction waver a mite.

How could he doubt her? Meril had shown him only the fullnef hef her love and devotion in every way. With joyous delight she had gifted him with two perfect offspring, the fruition of all his early hopes for founding a dynastic kingdom in the tradition of Elwë. With Taurant this golden illusion was finally on the cusp of actuality.

Then the memory of his tiny son's unfettered lament throughout the day returned to his thoughts and he squelched his instinct to protect her from this unpleasantness. "And because you are my beloved I am asking you these questions in private. Fearfaron, for one, would not mind asking them in the Council Chambers with the entire population in attendance."

"You menace me with charges?" Meril gasped out, cringing back against the cushiony leather and pulling her hands out of his.

"I am doing no such thing; however, I am not stupid." Thranduil rose and turned away, leaning against the mantle, poking at the glowing coals in the grate with a booted toe. "There is no consistency between what you allege and what the Tawarwaith demonstrates. I do not care about whatever you are hiding except for preventing harm to our children. This, I believe, is also Tirno's motive.

"You deliberately mislead me regarding his intentions here, and that, if I may point out, discredited me before our people and my troops!" He was careful to keep his voice calm and his back to her for he could hear her sobs building and would not permit himself to be overwhelmed by empathy for her distress.

"Mislead you? You call me untruthful? How can you say these things; what have I done to deserve the name liar? How could you think I would want your authority compromised, the father of my children?" Her words were wet with teary resentment.

"Then what are you keeping secret? I cannot do what is best for our little ones if I am in the dark over what is at staCan Can you not understand this?"

"I understand that you have decided to pardon the outcast and welcome this unfortunate elf back into the stronghold! I understand that you will make him your ally even after his accusations against me! Will you also name him your heir, this bastard child? This product of, of a criminal so vile there are no punishments designed for the crime he committed?"

"Nay, Taurant is my heir! Be calm, for you are not making sense. Elrond of Rivendell has ever been the suspected sire although some recent evidence points to…"

"Aye, there are those that love you and would have spared you further hurt. Yet you do not care to shelter me in the same regard. You ask for truth; let me tell you a fact long hidden by your former queen. I am one of many who have known for centuries that Ningloriel kept another lover all those many years. Maltahondo is that outcast's father!"

Whatever distraction from her own part in events she had hoped to create with her words was far exceeded by the depth of the reaction she induced in her husband. Upon hearing this startling pronouncement, Thranduil turned with ashen face and eyes aghast and somehow managed to find his way to the chair, dropping down in it with such a look of dread that his wife quailed and pressed deeper into the luxurious leather covered seat.

"Meril, what you speak cannot be."

"I assure you it is! Ask the guardsman; see if he can deny his longstanding devotion to your chosen mate. Speak to Ben'waeth; she is the one who told me. Perhaps her words are more reliable than mine!" Meril attempted to retain the haughty tone of a wronged wife even as her own soul began to writhe in fear for whatever brought on this alteration of Thranduil's demeanour.

"Stop this! You are not omniscient, Meril, and this is not about your wounded feelings over being disbelieved. I ask you once more; is what you say true? Was Ningloriel the corpsman's mistress early enough for him to have begot the child?"

And Meril peered at her husband's handsome face fraught with dire distress and cast with a haunted pallor. He looked as if he had just envisioned a judgement of terrible harshness about to befall him. He had not appeared so haggard and depleted since his return from the gates of Mordor. She could not find words to answer and could only stare in consternation at this unexpected result.

Her silence was sufficient. Thranduil had no doubt of the veracity of her claims regarding the former Queen's behaviour. As to the rest of it, he could not stand to think of this possibility. He covered his face in his hands, shaking his head. {Let that not be so! What manner of elf would bed his child? Does Tirno comprehend his repulsive plight?} The words of Fearfaron once again answered him: {'Legolas believes what your constant accusations of his mother taught him! For now, that is an easier lie for him to bear than the truth!'}.

Thranduil shuddered; this was all too foul; how could any elf bear living in the fullness of this shame revealed? And if Legolas found out and his spirit departed for Mandos' domain, would Thranduil be responsible for that also? {Aye, you turned away from the child; everyone understood he held no worth, including the corpsman.} He took a deep breath and lowered his hands, staring through fiery eyes at his mate.

"The import of what you say I am certain you fail to discern, yet this must not be repeated, for though you claim many were aware I believe for the most part it was not suspected. Especially given the volume of attention her other lover's identity received. I will have your word of assurance; no further talk of this!"

"Why, what is it you fear?"

"Do not bargain with me! I need you to make this solemn promise!"

"I cannot fathom why you are suddenly so concerned over that outcast elf! He seems more important to you than your own children!"

"You try my resolve, Meril! If you cannot see that my failure to properly safeguard that elf's childhood, regardless of his parentage, has led us all to this very moment then I have not the means to explain. He was right to warn of doom falling on my children; he had every reason to apprehend exactly how horrendous that could be."

"Now you are not being logical! How are you responsible for the errors of his mother? What control had you over the source of her impregnation? Thranduil, you sound as though you would claim Tirno for your own!"

"As a wiser soul than I has repeated several times over recent years: Who fathered the child is irrelevant, and being a Wood Elf you were born to accept this. And if I had no control over his siring, then he certainly could not bear the responsibility for it.

"This being true, why was he the one burdened with my hatred and derision? Just therthers could have the satisfaction of observing the abhorrence with which I treated the elfling, so that someone cruel and cold could laugh over the destruction of an unsuspecting soul. Now that vindictive resentment spreads to encompass Gwilwileth and Taurant. Is that preferable to you over giving a simple vow of silence?

"And I was so easy to manipulate!" Thranduil got up and stalked to the fire again, an expression hard as iron and cold as stone upon his face as the flickering firelight lent those pallorous plains the false glow of red warmth. "Every bit of it I accepted without question, for if Ningloriel would dishonour her bonds of marriage what is a lie to such a one? I did not believe the child could be mine. Not until these latter days, when the damage has been accomplished, do I see the possibility is just as likely for my seed to have grown the child as another's.

"Someone must pay for these sins, and if what you have just told me regarding Maltahondo is so, then the damages have just increased a thousand-fold. I have much to amend if I would spare my children a cursed destiny! I tell you, I will not have them suffer for deeds in which they could neither participate nor even imagine. I pray Elbereth they will never attain that ability.

"You must decide whether you will stand beside me in righting as many of these wrongs as can be undone. Holding your tongue on this obscene gossip is not a great task, yet that is what I require of you as your part. That, and a truthful account of what you understand about Erebor!"

Meril was stunned into silence by this long tirade, much of it contradictory and incomprehensible to her. Thranduil had an air of desperation about him that frightened her and his portentous reference to curses and debts owed that their children must remit was a hideous concept. She began to weep bitter tears of genuine confusion and despair and threw herself on her knees at his feet, burying her head on his lap, shoulders shaking with her body's efforts to expel the overwhelming emotions.

Thranduil gently stroked her glossy hair and waited, for he felt that this night he would learn more than he had sought regarding the weight of the fate Ningloriel's child had borne, alone and without hope for anything other than a violent death, since the Judgement of Erebor. His instinct already told him the fault would not belong to the wild elf, but to someone with a motive entirely removed from anything to do with him or with political intrigue and conspiracies designed to usurp power. It was going to be something deeply rooted in personal spite and hatred. So it must, for thus had been the pattern revealed to him thus far.

"I loved Valtamar, this you must accept," she at last began to whisper and raised her eyes, strained and alight with a frantic gleam, to his.

Thranduil gripped her arm and lifted Meril up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as her head nestled in the crook of his neck. This was difficult to hear, for if love was so quick to come and go within her heart, what did that foretell of the bond they shared?

"Aye, it is nothing unexpected for an elleth to love. Go on."

"He wanted many elflings; I would not consent. He was a warrior, and I suffered the death of my father at a young age. The Last Alliance claimed him and his remains lie in the stagnant waters of the Dead Marshes. My mother faded quickly thereafter, leaving me to rear my three younger siblings. I did my best, but in the end I lost the littlest; she died of grief. Then I sent the other two over sea at once."

"You did not join them, why?"

"Valtamar. He served with my father; was there when he met his end. He did try to make me do so, even though he loved me dearly even then. I was comforted by his love, and came to return it. I could not go and leave him alone. He would not abandon the Greenwood, for seasoned warriors were fewer in number after the Last Alliance and needed here.

"Those early years were wondrous and we lived in joy despite the growing dangers from the Necromancer. During the Watchful Peace Valtamar was seldom far from my side and he once more renewed his request for offspring. I resisted long, for I did not trust to the Weaver's [Vairë, Vala of Destiny] compassion and felt my fate was always to be marked by loss, as it has ever been for a spearman's daughter and a warrior's wife.

"Nearly six hundred years did I make him wait, perpetually begging this gift of me on every Edinor Dû'wîthiel [Binding-Night Anniversary]. I do not recall what swayed me after such steadfast refusal. Yet I have never regretted relenting to Valtamar's unceasing pleas; Lindalcon was our delight and my only consolation upon his death, prior to my union with you.

"Once our son was in his twenties, however, my husband began to demand more babes. We argued much and the strain grew between us. Valtamar saw my refusal as insecurity and deemed he had failed as my spouse and as a soldier. I could not make him see I was guarding Lindalcon against the pain I endured on losing my parents and my siblings.

"By then we were often apart due to the increased activity of Orcs and the need for longer and longer tours of patrol. Then one morn he was brought home badly wounded and I nearly went berserk, shouting at him that I would leave and take Lindalcon with me to Aman if he not not resign his commission and seek a less dangerous life.

"He called me a coward and faithless! He accused me of caring nothing for Greenwood and our child's future, of forgetting Tawar and the bounty of the trees. We resolved the conflict but things were not the same there after. And though we did share a bond, I ceased to lay with him. Of course we did not reveal any of this to Lindalcon and he never discovered our discord.

"Valtamar knew his rights under the Law yet did not invoke them openly as he should. This was for Lindalcon's sake, but far better would that upheaval have been than the truth he was attempting to conceal from us!" Meril burst into fresh tears, but these were of anger and abused pride, not sorrow and despair. Thranduil caressed her hair and closed his eyes as he pressed her head against his shoulder.

"Valtamar took a consort," he said and felt her nod avowal.

"Oh far worse! He got her with child, a warrior in his company. She was wedded and the scandal would have destroyed any happiness we had left. How could I let him break Lindalcon's heart that way? I would not suffer it or have my child shamed thus!" Her weeping increased intensity for several minutes as Thranduil sought to comfort her, but already he had a sick feeling in his stomach regarding the completion of this tale.

"What did you do about it?" he prompted when the tears subsided yet she did not resume speaking. He felt her take a long shuddering breath and release it slowly, so slowly, as if she was at last purging all the pain and anger she had harboured hidden in her heart for centuries.

"The mate of this inu warrior came to me. He was outraged. He wanted to have them answer for their deeds before the Council, but I pleaded for him to consider the children, Lindalcon and the growing life in her womb, blameless of any wrongs. He relented, but said he would not have a bastard foisted upon him to raise. He said he would deal with them and that the child would never breathe air.

"Again I begged mercy for this unborn elfling! I urged him to confront his mate and demand she remove to Aman or at least to Mithlond. This would solve our dilemma without jeopardising innocent life. He said he would consider it.
"Th>"The next day, the call came up for the march to Erebor. The rest you know. I fear this elf made good his threats and was the cause for the deaths of at least two of the Lost Warriors, Valtamar and Andamaitë." She stopped speaking and snuggled against her husband as if ready for repose, heaving another great lungful to cleanse her soul.

Thranduil frowned; if the warrior inu involved with Valtamar was Andamaitë then Rochendil was the irate mate. This was the real name of Ailinyéro, the elf banished by the Council for molesting the outcast under the veil of seeking retribution by chastisement. A link had been established, but most tenuous was this thread connecting the parties. Something was not quite right.

"What of the archer? How is Legolas involved in all this? How did Rochendil manage it?" He felt Meril shrug listlessly.

"He was not, at least not in the scandal. I have no idea how Rochendil made all this come about. I assumed he merely saw a chance to create a scapegoat for his crimes."

"What of Maltahondo? Where does he fit into this? Was he part of the plot to blame Legolas?"

"Nay, I do not believe so. I think he was as unaware of what was taking place as was his charge."

"But you condemned Legolas, too! You demanded the fullness of the sentence, a punishment he did not deserve."

"I went along with everyone else! How could I reveal all when that would only add to Lindalcon's grief? I would not risk my child's life! He was so devastated by the loss of his father, to tarnish his happy memories would have been brutally cruel.

"As for the mandates I made that day, perhaps they were not fair. Would you hold me to account now? Are the love we have found and the family we have produced insufficient justification for that small infraction? Legolas did not really belong to anyone; he was just another archer, and his death would not even be remarked in Greenwood. No one thought him able to survive a year on his own, much less seventeen. It was never to come to this sort of conclusion."

Thranduil did not reply, for he was sorely grieved. Of course she did not think Legolas would last. No doubt she fully expected Ailinyéro's treatment would make a quick end of him and then the entire mess would just be forgotten.

{I thought as much myself, even hoped for it.} A foul taste of ashes burned his throat and the stench of carrion filled his nostrils as if he was standing again upon the plain of Dagorlad, watching his father sacrifice himself for the beliefs of the Wood Elves.

He understood the derangement that could overcome the mind and subjugate the soul during mourning. He had done things he was not proud of during the earliest years of his struggle to defeat his sorrow and rebuild the Realm Oropher had abandoned. No one had called him to answer for any of it nor would they. Those cognisant of these actions were three in number. Talagan he trusted not to speak and the other two resided in Aman.

{Even as Meril's would-be accusers are unreachable; Rochendil in Eldamar and the two warriors Wandering.} It was with a rather sardonic twist of conscience that Thranduil recognised the degree of similarity between their two characters, his wind hnd him.

He could not condemn Meril if he could not condemn himself.

With a heavy sigh he shifted, for Meril had gone lax as she dropped into an exhausted slumber in his arms. He rose and carried her to their bed and laid her down upon it, pressing a sombre kiss upon her brow and draping a light blanket over her.

Quietly he returned to the nursery and stood gazing down upon his infant son. He smiled and softly touched the shock of wispy hair covering the perfect rounded head. But his smile died away as he stared at Taurant and the uneasy nagging sensation returned to his thoughts resolving into a clear and unsettling doubt within his mind.

If Andamaitë and Valtamar were expecting a child, would either one have volunteered for the duty of distracting those Goblin bodyguards? Indeed, would they not seek the healer's dispensation and forestall Andamaitë from marching out of the stronghold at all?

Tbc
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