Return Of The King Parody

once i jumpped upon the rafters a storming Pippin came over to where his pipe dropped, i was quite frightened.

Pippin: *looking around all crazed with his back bent hobbleing like a mad man* "Legolas where are you, i don't want to kill you, just hurt you really really bad" looks doen and sees his pipe "MY PRESSIOUS!!! YESSSS YOUS COME BACK TO ME!!" picking up his pipe all happy like danceing around like gollum would

Legolas: was taking notes "note to self...never take a hobbits pipe, and if you do make sure they are asleep" *finishes writeing his note and looks over as Aragorn walks in the area where Pippin is "oh crap..Aragorn!!" throws a peice of wood at his head*

Aragorn gets blopped on the head with a huge chunk of wood and stumbles forward into pippin causeing him to throw his pipe and it smashed into a wall shattering into a million pecies

Pippin "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY PIPE" *goes running over to his broken pipeand starts to cry*

Aragorn:*getting up holding his head* "has anyone ever heard of fixing these celings!!" *kicking the peice of the rafter at Pippin by accident, cuz he wasn't paying attention*

Pippin gets blopped in the back of the head by the chunck of wood as i sat there watching the whole thing, but i knew what was going to happen next so once Pippin got hit I snuck out, and made my escape and snickered because Aragorn is gonna get it good.

Aragorn: "oh Pancakes with tarter salse on a sunday afternoon" *runs over to Pippin looking down at him* "you alright kid?"

Pippin: *gets up and looks at Aragorn his eyes all bazed like they were on fire, grabbing Aragorn by his shirt color * "I am not a Kid you bubleing IDIOT!!!, I am A HOBBIT!!!" *grabbing the chunk of wood smashing it upon his head* "Thats for breaaking my PIPE!!"* then kicks him in the knee cap "and thats for kicking this chunk of wood at me!!"

Aragon:*runs and starts crying* "I WANT MY MOMMY!!"

Pippin:*chasing after him holding the peice of wood* "YOU GET BACK HERE!!!"

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meanwhile back in mordor

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Sam and Frodo where finishing up on Gandald and the Mud sclupture that Gollum had destroyed

Sam:"well what do you think Mr. Frodo?"

Frodo: "I think we did a good job Sam" Smileing as he waled around the statues of thier finished work, but notices a gflaw in one of them, knocking it over causeing it to shatter in a bunch of peaces

Sam: looking at Frodo oddly "whats wrong now?"

Frodo: "Sam you idiot you made it all wrong now i want it re done" saying with his arms crossed

Sam:"but Mr.Frodo we spent alot of time and..."

Frodo: "I don't care re do it!!"

Sam:"Mr.Frodo i think you need a nap" walking up to him holding his frying pan behind his back

Frodo: "Fine if you won't do it I will do it myself" starts getting some water and starts to make the statue over agian

Sam: walked up behind Frodo and wacked him in the back of the head with Frying pan "MR.Frodo your taking a nap, and if you don't want to waste time for us to destroy the ring then I will take you up the moutian myself" pickes up Frodo and starts carrying him like a backpack up the hills towards Mt.Doom

Frodo: thanks Sam i wanted a lift to begin with" smileing at him and passes out

Sam: talk about you late reactions, and hey if you wanted a piggyback ride all you had to do was ask SHEESH!!

Gollum started following from behind, but not before he destoryed the figures after seeing the one of him looking like a clown with floppy shoes , but back at Gondor Gandalf, Gimli, and myself were all standing around wondering where Aragorn is, since he was wanting a group mettin at 3:00

Gimli: I suppose he forgot about the metting

Gandalf: Maybe the time of man shouldn't come for another lifetime if they are going to be ruled by a dimwit like him. I would be better off listening to Pippin for a ruler.

Legolas: Now the both of you calm down and why do you talk about Aragorn like that

Gimli & Gandalf: *gives Legolas a werid look* "Because its the truth!!"

Legolas: waves his hand infront of his face* you know you two can use a breath mint *pulls out some tic tacs and hands them each a pack* and how do you know it won't be till tommrow?

Gimli and Gandalf both took my offer of Tic Tacs, and then there breath was minty clean, but we sat there and waited on Aragorn untill night fall, Gandalf and Gimli were quite adgitated

Gimli: Thats it i'm going to bed we have been waiting on this idiot for 12 hours now!

Gandalf: Agreed Metting dissmissed

Legolas: Looks at a wall, then turns and looks at the both of them* "guys how do you know that the metting wasn't scelduled till tommrow"

Gandlaf:"because Legolas i'm gandalf and i know all"

Legolas: ummm thats not what this sign says *points to a sign behind Gimli and Gandalf and legolas was looking at it the whole intire time there were there*

Gandalf: starts reading the sign* to Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, hello this is Aragorn, I was writeing this note to tell you all that the metting that Mr. All knowing wisard man...umm Gandalf thats you thought was today is actually tommrow at noon, i hope someone seen this but if not i guess i will say this, i like pink bunnies and pancakes with all the fixins and green is green oh yea writein all fancy stuff smotchionko higgga backka translation....i don't know, but anyways i'm being chased by Pippin at the moment and if you want to know where i am at if you have any questions i'm in the closet with the big black ball thingy and its glowing quite weirly and i see this eye ball in it i've been trying to free the eye ball for quite sometime because he looks lonley oh yea i gotta go not

love

Aragon

p.s. I'm hungry could you bring me some pancakes or a cheeseburger from mcdonalds thats why there is a 5 sitting on this note.

Gandalf: looks at Legolas with somewhat anger in his face "how long have you been stareing at this note"

Legolas: the entire time we were here why?

Gandalf: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!!??

Legolas: well you didn't ask, and i was reading it over and over for sometime now, it was quite boreing standing for 12 hrs

Gimli: laughing a bit to himself " i see the irony"

Gandlaf: WHAT DID YOU SAY SHORTY??

Gimli: nothing and hey who are you calling shorty unibrow wannabe??

Legolas: got inbetween before a fight broke out "ok ok calm down i know we all can solve this bickerting"

Gandalf and Gimli "SHUT UP BLONDIE!!"

Legolas:"BLONDIE!!"

all three of them started getting in a heated arguement and Aragorn was peeking out of the colset seeing all of them

Aragorn: I hope they didn't pocket that 5 and i wonder whos going to get my cheeseburger....*looking at the eyball in the plathier* you know something eyeball i don't think they are going to get my food

Sauron: AHHHH MAKE IT STOP PLEASE LET ME GO IN PEACE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR AMY MORE ABOUT A HOBBIT CHASEING YOU, HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE OR ANYTHING JUST SHOOT ME SOMEONE!!*saying out of the plaintir*

Aragorn: I tryed to free you Mr. eyeball but no luck

Sauron: you bubleing IDIOT do you even know who i am?

Aragorn: now now Mr. eyeball thats no way to treat a king

Sauron:KING?? KING!! you such an Idiot that you mother was wereing Combat boots when she had you!!

Aragorn: Don't talk about Mommy like that or we will go to war

Sauron: *Sighs* WE BEEN AT WAR YOU DOPE!!

Pippin: found Aragorn talking to Sauron's eye threw the plainter holding the chunk of wood "THATS IT I'M KILLING THAT EYE BALL HOW CAN AN EYEBALL SIGH!!!" he smashes the plathir in aragorns hands making it go into millions of peices

Aragorn: starts tremble lookingf at a angry pippin who was going to bash him "umm sorry about the pipe pip you can have mine" hands him his own pipe

Pippin: oh well thanks" takes the pipe "so what you doin"

Aragorn: starving thats about it and watchin those three argure with my money

Pippin: well how about you and me get your money and go to Wendy's

Aragorn: alright i'm hungry lets go

Aragorn and pippin both walk out seeing the three argueing, Aragorn walks by Gandalf and the others who were not paying attention to him or Pippin. Aragorn grabs his 5 and him and pippin head out for Wendy's we all eventually stopped argueing

Gandalf: Looks at his hand and notices the 5 he was holding was gone"ok who took Aragorn's money??"

Legolas: not me

Gimli: not me

Legolas: what about you Gandalf?

Gandalf: why are you calling me a theif?? huh i was holding it and i noticed it gone

then about 5 secounds later we all started argueing agian this went on till about 2 and we all passed out from yelling, by about noon when Aragorn arrived in the mettin area where we were argued

Aragorn: looking down at the sleepin heads and throws a bucket of water on them "METTING TIME!! YIPPY, KEY THE CHEESY MUSIC!!" some how cheese music started

J.R.R Tolkien: walked infront of Aragorn and snaped his fingers to kill the cheese music slappin him upside the head "its not 4 no cheesey music till 4 got it??"

Aragorn: "yes Tolkien" has his head down

by the time we woke up we saw Aragorn with his head down

Legolas: looking up at Aragorn first"Tolkien killed the cheesey music agian i see"

Aragorn: nods

Gimli: gets up ans shakes him self dry like a dog would

Gandalf: gets up as well "my HAIR ITS WET, WHO IS RESPONCIABLE FOR THIS!!"

Aragorn: the sprinklers must have been n during the night, but anyways we all have to make a field trip

Legolas, Gimli, Gandlaf: FIELD TRIP YAY!!!!!!!" hopping up and down like little children

Aragorn: does everyone have their permission slips?

we all showed are permission slips and then we all, with merry, pippin, and the etire army of gondor went to Mordor and then we all appered at the black gates and we looked at Aragorn like he got lost or something

Pippin: umm Aragorn ask those people at the gate where the beach is?

Aragorn: Nods and starts heading up by himself to the gates on his horse "trot trot trot on my horse horse horse la la la la " reaches the gates and clears his throught" Let the Lord of the Black gates Come forth, Let justtice be done on him!"

Legolas: stunned with his eyes open"oh my GOSH HE ACCTIALLY SAID SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE!!"

The gates open and then the mouth of Sauron comes out trotting on his black horse

Mouth of Sauron: what is it i got a 4 metting with some chicken*looks and see Aragorn* oh no not you, ummm we umm don't want any vacumcleaners at this time thank you" smile real werid like

Aragorn: why don't you want any vacum cleaners, it looks quite dirty in there

Mouth of Sauron: well lets see here because the last time you tryed to sell me a leaf blower you put my eye on that tower!! *pointing at his eye*

Aragorn: i told you not to aim it at your face and besides wheres the other eye at?

Mouth of Sauron: a certain hobbit smashed it remember?

Aragorn: oh yea, so does that mean we are at war?

Mouth of Sauron: you are a dope!! yea we are at war.*throws Frodo's chain shirt at him* Frodo lost this at my back yard give it to him sometime

Aragorn:ok i will afterhe destroys the ring, oh well then i decalre me winner at our game of war so there nun nun nun *slices off the mouth of Sauron's head off (which i didn't know that was possiable) and then sucked it in his vacum cleaner and rode back to us holding Frodo's chain shirt

Pippin: where did that vacum cleaner come from?

Aragorn: in my pocket

Gandlaf: is that Frodo's Chain shirt

Aragorn: yea he must have lost it or something, i will give it back to him once he returned