Because of You, I Am Afraid
folder
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
11
Views:
2,961
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
11
Views:
2,961
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 8
Chapter 8
At the banging upon his door, Haldir forced himself from his chair, making his way over to the door of his talan. Opening it, and seeing who it was, he nearly closed it again.
“What is it brother?” he asked, massaging his forehead, not wanting to face the one who was lucky enough to receive the affections of Imrhienna, the one who was wanted whilst he was left wanting.
“I know you spoke to her last night.”
Haldir looked up sharply. “Where are you leading this Rumil?”
“Haldir, do I need to lay everything out for you?”
He did not answer, instead turning from Rumil, to walk out to his balcony. This was a mistake, he realised, as due to his splendid view, he quickly spied her wandering the gardens of the city, her attention on her own thoughts, oblivious to the two Lords so high above her.
“She is divine, isn’t she?” he commented absently, before he could stop himself.
Rumil smiled a small, sad smile. “I saw your embrace last night Haldir.”
Haldir did to say anything once more, torn between telling his brother of the shameful nature of their ‘embrace’ the night before, and leaving the past to rest.
“She was never meant for me Haldir. She has always been yours. You have just been too stupid to see it.” It seemed that it was as hard for Rumil to admit it as it was for Haldir to hear it.
Haldir looked as thought he might retaliate sharply to that comment, but found he could not.
“I’m not saying that she will make things easy for you brother, but then, you have a tendency to complicate things yourself. Just go to her. Tell her of your affections for her”
It was then that Haldir had finally collected enough of his wits to form a reply. “She does not want me brother! She has said so herself. Rest assured that she is well aware of my affection-” He near spat the word. “- for her. It was my affection for her that had her pinned against a talan wall last night, and my hand up her skirts whilst she tried to pull away!”
Rumil was silent, Haldir’s words slowly sinking in, and his willingness to help his brother, slowly began to dissipate.
“What have you done brother?” he asked softly.
“Nothing, thank the Valar. She brought me to my senses. But I feel I may be correct in assuming that she has no desire to see me.”
“Then you are a fool twice over Haldir.” Rumil said, before leaving Haldir alone on his balcony, with only his own thoughts for company.
Rumils only wished to see Imrhienna happy, and whilst he knew that he was not the elf to make her so, he was beginning to doubt if Haldir was either.
Haldir looked out over the slumbering city. He felt some of his old anger return. Anger that he could not be what she so wanted. Anger that she had left him for, of all things, men. Anger because he knew that in truth he had no right to be angry, whereas she should be furious, and never want to see him again. And anger because in his heart, he knew that she had every right to be.
&(&(
All wisps of a dream where instantly cleared from her head at the knock to her door.
“Yes?” she called a little reluctantly, half dreading, half praying, that it was Haldir.
“It is Rumil, Imrhienna please let me in.”
She crossed the talan to open the door, and stood aside to let Rumil in. Half relieved, half disappointed.
Rumil turned to face her, before pulling her swiftly into his arms, and kissing her with a strange finality.
She kissed him back, half heartedly.
Rumil took his lips from hers, and turned and led her to the couch.
“Are you alright Rumil?” she asked, a little curiously, he was acting so strangely.
He turned to look at her then, as he sat down.
“We cannot be together anymore, Imrhienna” he said with that same strange, sad half smile.
“Rumil?” she asked, more than a little confused at his sudden change in heart. He had been pursuing her most enthusiastically until this night.
“I have spoken with Haldir, and he has told me of what occurred between the two of you this night.”
“Rumil, I did not want that, I-” Rumil held up his hand, not letting her finish.
“I know, Imrhienna, I know. But as much as my brother does not deserve you, I cannot help but feel that a part of you wanted him. That he is the only one you will ever want.”
“If you honestly feel you can live without Haldir, live with seeing him everyday, live with calling him brother, than you know you are welcome in my arms, Imrhienna. For my affection for you could well grow into something more. But I think we both know that that is never going to happen, is it?”
She tried not to let the tears gather as she slowly shook her head. He knew her better than she knew herself.
“No Rumil. I do not think I will ever be able to love another the way I loved him.”
“And still love him.”
Imrhienna hesitated, before she looked up at him apologetically. “Rumil I-”
She was cut off abruptly, as a warden came swiftly into the room.
“My lady, there is a human on the fences, calling for you. She refuses to leave.” The warden looked from her to Rumil aware that he had interrupted something.
“I must go,” she whispered to Rumil, trying not to betray her own pain at Rumils words this night.
Her pain that stemmed from the one truth through it all. That she still loved Haldir. And could not bring herself to stop.
She rose from her chair, and followed the warden swiftly, Rumil following close behind her. She looked at him questioningly.
“Surely you do not think that I would abandon you just because you do not want to be my lover?” he asked, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
Imrhienna smiled at him, before mounting the waiting horse.
6&&&
“Branna?” Imrhienna was more than a little surprised to see the woman alone at the fences. So soon after the birth of her child, she should not have made such a journey on her own.
“Fire!” Branna gasped, clutching Imrhienna’s gown. “Last night, wild fire…destroyed the crops, our whole village…gone!”
Imrhienna stood in shock for a second, before pulling herself straighter, no longer uncomfortable with the woman’s begging hands upon her.
“I will come immediately. Go with Orophin, Branna, and he will see you rested and then returned to the village.” Imrhienna pinned Orophin with a look that would have commanded the obedience of a greater elf.
The warden led the exhausted, shaking woman to a flet to allow her to recover. Imrhienna however, turned to Rumil, who had followed her to the fences.
“Rumil, I must-”
“Go,” Rumil said with a gentle smile, knowing that she was never his. “You have work to do. The people need you.”
She nodded stiffly, before impulsively leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. She then turned, and made her way swiftly back to the village of Craigey. Or what was left of it.
A/N:Enjoy, and merry christmas to all!! Let me know what you think!
At the banging upon his door, Haldir forced himself from his chair, making his way over to the door of his talan. Opening it, and seeing who it was, he nearly closed it again.
“What is it brother?” he asked, massaging his forehead, not wanting to face the one who was lucky enough to receive the affections of Imrhienna, the one who was wanted whilst he was left wanting.
“I know you spoke to her last night.”
Haldir looked up sharply. “Where are you leading this Rumil?”
“Haldir, do I need to lay everything out for you?”
He did not answer, instead turning from Rumil, to walk out to his balcony. This was a mistake, he realised, as due to his splendid view, he quickly spied her wandering the gardens of the city, her attention on her own thoughts, oblivious to the two Lords so high above her.
“She is divine, isn’t she?” he commented absently, before he could stop himself.
Rumil smiled a small, sad smile. “I saw your embrace last night Haldir.”
Haldir did to say anything once more, torn between telling his brother of the shameful nature of their ‘embrace’ the night before, and leaving the past to rest.
“She was never meant for me Haldir. She has always been yours. You have just been too stupid to see it.” It seemed that it was as hard for Rumil to admit it as it was for Haldir to hear it.
Haldir looked as thought he might retaliate sharply to that comment, but found he could not.
“I’m not saying that she will make things easy for you brother, but then, you have a tendency to complicate things yourself. Just go to her. Tell her of your affections for her”
It was then that Haldir had finally collected enough of his wits to form a reply. “She does not want me brother! She has said so herself. Rest assured that she is well aware of my affection-” He near spat the word. “- for her. It was my affection for her that had her pinned against a talan wall last night, and my hand up her skirts whilst she tried to pull away!”
Rumil was silent, Haldir’s words slowly sinking in, and his willingness to help his brother, slowly began to dissipate.
“What have you done brother?” he asked softly.
“Nothing, thank the Valar. She brought me to my senses. But I feel I may be correct in assuming that she has no desire to see me.”
“Then you are a fool twice over Haldir.” Rumil said, before leaving Haldir alone on his balcony, with only his own thoughts for company.
Rumils only wished to see Imrhienna happy, and whilst he knew that he was not the elf to make her so, he was beginning to doubt if Haldir was either.
Haldir looked out over the slumbering city. He felt some of his old anger return. Anger that he could not be what she so wanted. Anger that she had left him for, of all things, men. Anger because he knew that in truth he had no right to be angry, whereas she should be furious, and never want to see him again. And anger because in his heart, he knew that she had every right to be.
&(&(
All wisps of a dream where instantly cleared from her head at the knock to her door.
“Yes?” she called a little reluctantly, half dreading, half praying, that it was Haldir.
“It is Rumil, Imrhienna please let me in.”
She crossed the talan to open the door, and stood aside to let Rumil in. Half relieved, half disappointed.
Rumil turned to face her, before pulling her swiftly into his arms, and kissing her with a strange finality.
She kissed him back, half heartedly.
Rumil took his lips from hers, and turned and led her to the couch.
“Are you alright Rumil?” she asked, a little curiously, he was acting so strangely.
He turned to look at her then, as he sat down.
“We cannot be together anymore, Imrhienna” he said with that same strange, sad half smile.
“Rumil?” she asked, more than a little confused at his sudden change in heart. He had been pursuing her most enthusiastically until this night.
“I have spoken with Haldir, and he has told me of what occurred between the two of you this night.”
“Rumil, I did not want that, I-” Rumil held up his hand, not letting her finish.
“I know, Imrhienna, I know. But as much as my brother does not deserve you, I cannot help but feel that a part of you wanted him. That he is the only one you will ever want.”
“If you honestly feel you can live without Haldir, live with seeing him everyday, live with calling him brother, than you know you are welcome in my arms, Imrhienna. For my affection for you could well grow into something more. But I think we both know that that is never going to happen, is it?”
She tried not to let the tears gather as she slowly shook her head. He knew her better than she knew herself.
“No Rumil. I do not think I will ever be able to love another the way I loved him.”
“And still love him.”
Imrhienna hesitated, before she looked up at him apologetically. “Rumil I-”
She was cut off abruptly, as a warden came swiftly into the room.
“My lady, there is a human on the fences, calling for you. She refuses to leave.” The warden looked from her to Rumil aware that he had interrupted something.
“I must go,” she whispered to Rumil, trying not to betray her own pain at Rumils words this night.
Her pain that stemmed from the one truth through it all. That she still loved Haldir. And could not bring herself to stop.
She rose from her chair, and followed the warden swiftly, Rumil following close behind her. She looked at him questioningly.
“Surely you do not think that I would abandon you just because you do not want to be my lover?” he asked, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
Imrhienna smiled at him, before mounting the waiting horse.
6&&&
“Branna?” Imrhienna was more than a little surprised to see the woman alone at the fences. So soon after the birth of her child, she should not have made such a journey on her own.
“Fire!” Branna gasped, clutching Imrhienna’s gown. “Last night, wild fire…destroyed the crops, our whole village…gone!”
Imrhienna stood in shock for a second, before pulling herself straighter, no longer uncomfortable with the woman’s begging hands upon her.
“I will come immediately. Go with Orophin, Branna, and he will see you rested and then returned to the village.” Imrhienna pinned Orophin with a look that would have commanded the obedience of a greater elf.
The warden led the exhausted, shaking woman to a flet to allow her to recover. Imrhienna however, turned to Rumil, who had followed her to the fences.
“Rumil, I must-”
“Go,” Rumil said with a gentle smile, knowing that she was never his. “You have work to do. The people need you.”
She nodded stiffly, before impulsively leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. She then turned, and made her way swiftly back to the village of Craigey. Or what was left of it.
A/N:Enjoy, and merry christmas to all!! Let me know what you think!