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The Pentanath: Adventures in the Avathar	By : Sienna Category: -Multi-Age > Het - Male/Female Views: 3288 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Pentanath: Adventures in the Avathar
A Posthumous Writing of The Watcher of Tol Eressea
Book 2: Broniennin Guren
Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Visit

The Difficult Years.....

In the days that followed, Haldir kept himself as busy as he could so as not to give his mind rest. He found that if he did, it would bring to him memories of Lisse.

He had grown furious with himself, because he recognized these feelings: desire, lust, attraction.

He did not want to have these feelings, and not especially for Lisse, even if she had saved his life. Aside from this, there was the question of Min. While his body refused control, his mind and heart knew more than friendship was wrong. And further, he would not press his advantage with Lisse.

Had she been another maiden, one perhaps older, more experienced, maybe then he would have sought relief within soft elven arms.

But not Lisse, he kept telling himself.

And try as he did, his mind betrayed him every night, for his memories and dreams were full of the blonde maid.

Lisse laughing...... Lisse running....... Lisse stroking his forehead with cool, delicate fingers...... Lisse arguing with him.....Lisse's small figure beneath the tight-fitting doublet and leggings she always wore.

He especially remembered the night he had nearly drowned. She had found him half-nude, sitting on the narrow cot inside the fisherfolk's tent, while he flexed the muscles of his arms, testing the degree of damage. He remembered how she had looked at him, from head to foot, her cool blue eyes surveying every part of him, especially the triangle at the center of his thighs, approval in her glance. He had seen her flush then, at the realization of what she had done. And he, what had he done? He had melted in the fires of her rosy blush, knowing from experience what she was feeling at the moment, and he had felt a warmth and desire engulf him in the sweetness of an emotion he had not felt for long ages.

Yet, he had not treated her with gentleness or even gratitude. Instead, he had been abrupt and gruff in his demeanor and he had known then he had wounded her. Wounded not only her pride, but her womanly instinct and desire. He knew that was to be a wound Lisse would carry with her for a long time to come, for her inexperience had not taught her how to forget him, and he knew she would dwell on the incident until the wound bled raw. And he, what had he done to soothe her wounded spirit? He had left her at the hands of Eadendir, whose sardonic jabs and taunts had so darkened Min's spirit that he nearly failed to see her goodness when he had first met her. What would that same cynicism do to Lisse Nyere?

Haldir sighed.

If he gave his mind leave to follow these memories to their logical conclusion, then it would be worse for him, and he would dream of her mouth pressed beneath his, her breasts crushed under his chest, and her legs wrapped around his thighs in sweet delirium. Sometimes he fancied he would teach her what passion was, show her what it was like to be taken slowly, fully, without care or worry. He wondered if she would be impetuous in love-making or slow, as he preferred, and what was the taste of her mouth, of her breasts. At these thoughts he would groan in misery, asking forgiveness for the thought of Min's lifd ded death pressed heavily into his spirit and in his heart and mind there was a great confusion.

One day, as Haldir sat beneath the glittering waterfalls of the river near his talan, he saw a golden eagle soar above the trees. He smiled, "Carefree, my friend, are you." His voice sad. "That I too could soar with thee and leave behind these coils of flesh."

For once his heart felt pain, and he could not will it back behind the impenetrable fortress of ice he had long ago built. His loneliness came suddenly upon him in a great wave of longing and misery, one which almost made him weep aloud.

Standing, he dove fully dressed into the cool waters and there he swam for hours untold.

Later that night, he he was in full control of his emotions, he began a careful consideration of his feelings.

He asked himself honestly what he felt for Lisse. When the answer came, he grew annoyed and stomped toward his talan, throwing a large log into the fire below him not caring how high the flames licked. He sat at the edge of the flet, gloomily looking out before him. He decided that night that he would shut out any other feeling for the chit and remain only a friend. Friendship is all he would offer her and when they next met, if ever, he would make certain to explain this. Maybe then, he thought with a grumpy look, she would cease staring longingly into his eyes.

Yes, he thought that night, sitting on his talan, long legs dangling from the edge. This is how the problem of Lisse Nyere would be handled.

Weeks later Haldir discovered that while he had decided on a specific course of action toward Lisse Nyere, his heart was not altogether in agreement. He found that Lisse had settled into his soul and that as hard as he tried, he could not dislodge her.

At such times, Haldir would growl in irritation and head for the glittering waterfalls of the Gliding River. There he would swim and lose himself beneath the sweet and clear water, hoping his body would cease wanting what it could not have.

How had this happened, he asked himself time without number. How had she slipped past his carefully wrought defenses? She was Min's daughter. And even though he and Min had never joined physically, and his mind argued against his own faulty logic, still his heart clamored to be heard.

How had that spoilt and meddlesome chit entwined herself inside his heart? How had he not seen it? Was Lisse attracted to him simply because he happened to be available or was there more depth to her?

And what of Min? Was he betraying his memory of her? Would the Valar accept this situation?

And why was he ceaselessly thinking of Lisse? He knew he was not in love with her. He knew himself well enough for that. That he desired her was beyond doubt. That he wished to bed her, make her his, yes, the hae had thought about many times. But he also knew he would not touch her. Was this, then, he pondered, the fascination Lisse held? That she was unreace?
e?

Endless questions that brought no respite assailed Haldir. But his iron will saved him, for he resisted the call to go to her. Yet, many a time when he used the alternate route to his traps did he still look for her. But she no more came and in his heart Haldir grew sad.

One day, after Haldir's Guild contact had gone and Haldir was left to decide where next he would lay his traps so as to avoid the sea creature that attacked him, he was surprised to feel a presence enter his wood.

From high atop his flet, Haldir heard his name called and looked east. There, close to the edge of the grove, he saw Eadendir approaching. He wondered what the old elf wanted.

Dropping before the elf, Haldir bowed low in respect for the elf's age.

"Greetings, Eadendir o Eressea."

The old elf smiled and extended his forearm to Haldir, "Greetings, Haldir o Lorien."

Haldir accepted the extended gesture of friendship and waited.

Eadendir observed Haldir for a moment and studied the younger elf's eyes. So, he thought, it is as I suspected.

The old elf heaved a deep sigh. Haldir arched an eyebrow and observed the elf. "What is amiss my old friend?" Haldir asked, concern in his rich voice.

Eadendir smiled sadly, "I wonder that you can still call me friend, after all I have done to hurt you, Haldir."

Haldir looked away, and fell into an easy walk beside the old elf. "No," replied Haldir carefully, turning his eyes to Eadendir, "you acted as you believed was true. I hold no ill will toward you."

Eadendir stopped and turned to Haldir, "Invite me to some of your fine wine, Haldir, for I have much to ask of you again."

Haldir sighed, suspecting what was coming, but having the discipline and good manners to wait. Reaching his flet, both elves climbed quietly, Eadendir remarking on Haldir's continued resistance to dwelling in a typical elven lodge. Grinning, Haldir said nothing and served the old elf a cup of his best wine. After a while, Eadendir turned to Haldir.

"My friend, long have the s bes been since we last spoke, is it not?" He saw Haldir nod. "Yet, I come to you again to ask something ou tou that you may not wish to grant."

Haldir knew then what the old elf wanted and he stood and walked to the edge of the flet, his back turned to Eadendir.

Behind Haldir, the old elf continued, "I have little left of Min, Haldir. Allave ave of her is Lisse Nyere."

Haldir closed his eyes and breathed deeply, a burning pain beginning to scorch his heart. He let the old elf continue. Was he ready for what was coming next?

"All I ask is that her life be a happy one, Haldir. She is innocent of the ways of males and their courtships. Living in this remote place does not bring her too many opportunities to compare or develop preferences. I wish only for her happiness and peace of mind. Is that too much?"

Ha tur turned and studied the elf sitting before him. He could feel cold anger grow inside him. But, with the skill of one used to confronting opponents, Haldir controlled his reaction and said quietly instead, " No, it is not an unreasonable thing to desire. However, my friend, I would have you know I have not courted Lisse Nyere." Haldir frowned, "Has she alluded to this?" Haldir's eyes locked carefully onto the old elf's face, watching for the tiniest flicker of reaction. None came.

"No," sighed Eadendir, "she has not, but as I have said, she is innocent of these ways and has no knowledg a g a great many things." Eadendir's gaze fell meaningfully onto Haldir's face.

Haldir nodded slowly and replied carefully, "Perhaps if you let her experience life, as Min did not..." But he fell silent when Eadendir's countenance darkened.

Haldir then changed his approach and instead asked softly, "Am I not good enough for your kin, Eadendir?" His gray eyes sought Eadendir's green gaze, so like Min's he thought. Haldir felt his heart throb with an unfamiliar pain.

Eadendir sighed and rose. "Nay, 'tis not a question of being good enough. You are an elf different from us, Haldir." He saw Haldir frown, but continued, "your kindred is different. You are ariorrior born, trained in arts we know nothing of here."

The elf's green gaze covered the wood before him. "We have lived here for countless ages, in peace, in tranquility. Lisse knows naught of the ways of your kin, nor of loss and shadow, or of death and sorrow."

Eadendir turned his full gaze onto Haldir. "You and your kindred have brought memories of war and sadness. s a s a thing best forgotten. We have no need for warriors on Eressea."

Haldir watched the elf, understanding beginning to dawn on him. "But I am no longer a warrior, Eadendir." Haldir reminded the old elf softly. "And loss and death are part of living, even unto the Quendi, for we too sometimes are called to sorrow and pain." He watched the old elf carefully.

Eadendir smiled and turned to Haldir, walking back to his wine. "I know, my friend. But..." he turned and gazed at Haldir.

Haldir knew what the old elf wanted. He should have felt fury, anger, at what was being insinuated. Yes, he was different, perceived differently by these elves.......but he and his kindred had spent long ages battling a shadow these elves knew nothing of. Resentment was a thing Haldir had long before learned to master and instead he looked upon the old elf with compassion. Would he be so forgiving before one who had cost his daughter's happiness and now threatened to wreck what was left of that memory?

Haldir smiled sadly. "Say no mored frd friend. We understand each other."

Eadendir studied Haldir's face and relaxed. What manner of elves exile on Middle Earth had wrought! Eadendir remembered the stories told of this elf and his adventures. He could see how his fire would draw Min, but he also despaired that it would destroy Lisse, all that he now had left of his daughter. He realized here is where Haldir threatened him.

"Perhaps, if you could place a greater distance between your realm and the House of the Elms?" Eadendir asked carefully, watching Haldir's jaw tense.

Haldir contemplated the grove and drank deeply of his wine, serving himself and Eadendir more of the rich, amber liquid. "I have been contemplating moving my traps further south." His voice was even although his heart was torn. Was there honor in what they were discussing?

"I am unhindered and unfettered and can move at will." Haldir's eyes glittered strangely, a deep emotion surfacing within the silver flecks of his eyes. "I can make a living here or elsewhere, of that I have no concern."

Haldir turned toward Eadendir. "Would that solve the difficulties, old friend?" He placed a dry emphasis on the word "friend", one that Eadendir did not miss.

Eadendir, knowing he was on the verge of a great victory over the warrior-elf, watched Haldir and frowned, "What, moving toward the interior?"

Haldir shook his head, "No, away from it."

Eadendir understood Haldir's meaning now. " 'Tis most remote, all paths leading from Kortirion."

Haldir finished his wine and served himself more, although Eadendir declined. "Precisely." He drank the wine in two gulps and reached for more.

Eadendir sighed, "Will you tell her you are leaving?"

Haldir thought for a moment and then turned to look at the older elf. He saw the anxiety creasing the elf's forehead. "No, not unless you wish it." Haldir's reply was terse.

Eadendir shook his head, "I do not, unless..." His voice trailed off and he studied Haldir's face carefully.

Haldir looked calmly at Eadendir, wiping all traces of emotion from his silver gaze. "Nothing has passed between us." He set the now-empty cup on the table before him and not too gently.

Eadendir let out his breath and arched his eyebrows slightly and rose, "For that you have my gratitude."

Reaching toward Haldir, Eadendir squeezed the younger elf's shoulder.

Inside, Haldir felt his spirit break. Once again, as it had been long ago with Min, a strange aura settled about him and he found he was unable to voice his deepest feelings. He should have objected to Eadendir's suggestions. He should have refused to be so easily manipulated. He, Haldir of Lorien, the very same who decided the fates of his enemies in seconds! How had his heart failed him once again!! He loathed himself in that moment, knowing that Lisse was right.

He was a coward.

Shortly after Eadendir terminated his visit to Haldir's talan, Haldir commenced the tedious task of packing his belongings. By sundown he was finished and early the next morning he had set off, as he said he would.

He ded ded the House of the Elms, but as he passed within league of it, his thoughts flew toward Lisse and he wondered what she would make of his sudden disappearance. He did not think she would grieve overmuch, save for a sundered friendship. Yet, he knew that friendship of their sort was not easily come by, and his heart was heavy within his chest, sad in the knowledge he would hurt her. Yet, did he have another choice? He had asked himself this question over and over. Was it not best to avoid the ire of the old elf? Not because he personally feared Eadendir, but what he suspected the old elf was capable of. Haldir had learned long ago, in the erst-while Middle Earth of his youth that sometimes one gained through losing. It was a lesson Celeborn had instilled into all the Lothlorien warriors, and Varda be-thanked, for it was this philosophy had saved them countless times! Now, old customs die hard and Haldir had carried this bit of wisdom into his personal relationships with the elves of Valinor....who were so different from the Galadhrim. Still, his thoughts returned to Eadendir. Haldir had already seen how Eadendir had manipulated and cajoled the weak-minded Odomil into a marriage that should never have taken place. And what had been the consequence of it? Min's death and Odomil's descent into madness.

"And Lisse Nyere's birth...." came a soft voice.

Haldir abruptly stopped and looked around. He was growing accustomed to the voice in his head, as it came with greater frequency these days. But this time he answered it not and plodded stubbornly on, convinced that he was doing what was correct and honorable.

~*~*~*~*~

Key:

Quendi - The name the elves give to their race. Translated means, "those who speak".

Kortirion - City in Tol Eressea

The Pentanath:
Adventures in the Avathar
by Sienna Dawn

Rating: NC17
Pairing: Haldir/OFC

Legal disclaimer:
Characters, places, events from JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion used without permission, no attempt has been made, nor will be made, to copyright these characters and no profit is being made from this work. All other non-Tolkien characters are of my own invention.

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The Pentanath: Adventures in the Avathar