True Bow (Cuthenin) | By : fremmet Category: -Multi-Age > General Views: 9634 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
"We stayed a good while in my mother's country, nearly the whole year. When we returned, Calarlim put it forth that I was betrothed to a warrior maiden from that region and marked me thus. Hiren Adar was pleased and professed the desire to meet my intended and her kin. Tirn'wathel had to delay the event three times, using excuses of all sorts. Another year later, word reached the fortress that the elleth had perished in a skirmish with spiders. In truth, this maiden never existed at all."
"Why would your Tirn'wathel do this? Would your father have attempted to force a match for you to someone you could not abide, beyond your country's borders, for political reasons perhaps?"
"Nay, Hiren Adar said I might bond with any elleth in Greenwood that my heart would wish, whatever her House or rank. I am not of high enough station to provide a strategic alliance, even if Hiren Adar wished for an external allegiance of that nature, which he does not. My two brothers fulfil the duty of cementing internal coalitions of strength and are bonded to ellyth from two of the most powerful among the Greenwood's noble Houses, ones that trace back to Neldoreth and Doriath in Beleriand."
"Then what is it?"
"I would never knowingly shame my family in any way. Yet if I seek a mate such that my heart truly desires, then I could not help but do so, for I long for that which is anathema among our culture."
"Ah, this is regrettable," Galdor sighed, for he realised what Legolas was trying to tell him. "Your interest does not include females, and customs scorn a bond between same-sex mates?"
"More than scorn, such is forbidden in my country. If anyone finds out, my father's House will be held up to ridicule. Thranduil's efficacy as a ruler will be questioned because he would present as weak for producing such an aberration within our people. Indeed, the fact of my existence, even lacking any immoral tendency, is enough reason for some detractors' aims. He would lose the respect of the most loyal among the leaders of the other Houses in the realm.
"Some would say it is a perversion introduced by the Sindarin bloodlines, a weakness to be purged. My brothers and their offspring would be scrutinised for any example of the detested behaviour. I have three great nephews who have not reached Coll o Gweth and they would come under the taint of my
preference. Finally, I would be judged and banished from my home, never to see my family again this side of the Sundering Sea."
All of this poured out from Legolas in a bitter stream of hurt and anguish, for while he dreaded anyone learning the truth, he felt wronged. Why must he be forced to display a false front for the rest of his life, ever denied a true bond-mate and the fulfilment such a union would bring?
"Ai, can it become more complicated, young one?" Galdor wrapped an arm around the bare shoulders and pulled the youth close, sickened in his soul to hear this tale.
In Gondolin, and now in Imladris and Mithlond, tolerance was a given and the choice for one's bonding-mate was not a cause for being ostracised from the community, much less banished from the country entirely. Lorien was more conservative, with same-sex pairings frowned upon but not prohibited by law or custom. The Greenwood's mores seemed too unforgiving and he wondered why this should be so, for the Pād-en-Tawar did not list any restrictions regarding courting and bonding one way or the other.
"The little farce prevented all of these things. Additionally, I have been exempted from further attempts at seeking a mate on the pretext that my heart is broken and I am barely fighting off fading," Legolas continued morosely.
"So you preserve the family honour at the sacrifice of your own well-being. I deem it accurate to say that grief has been your companion even before the recent loss of your dear friends, though your intended never died. It is the same, to be sundered by death and to be held apart by rigourous laws too strict to endure. The soul cannot abide alone if it longs for union with another, and to force such a division is severely detrimental. We must remedy this, Legolas, or you will indeed be in danger of fading."
"There is nothing to be done; the laws will not be changed to accommodate me."
"We shall see. For now, let me proceed with the marking and then we will continue the discussion. I need time to think. We will begin." So saying Galdor took up the piercing stylus and Legolas' left arm.
Into the red ink the brush dipped and drank deeply, emerging full and swollen with the blood coloured die. Galdor swept the needles through the bristles and stabed the points down into the sign for Calarlim's name.
"Boe Leitho hene in dangen uin gwist pain." (It is necessary to release she who is slain from all oaths.) Sadron intoned.
"Sin endaith śhźb Calarlim sķ." (These marks will not keep Calarlim here.) Legolas responded steadily, determined to be strong throughout the procedure in honour of his Naneth Edwen. "Eru, edra Mandos na Tirn'wathelen vell." (Eru, open Mandos to my dear Guardian.)
Thus, the Noldo Lord set to work and with skill and precision made the changes necessary on the Wood Elf's body. Each time the needle was dipped into the ink and pushed beneath the silvan's skin, the two stated the same simple sentences. When each mark of her name was overprinted in the red dye, Galdor began to ink the oath of his guardianship.
Because the artistic script was delicate and detailed, this required several hours and annūn was approaching before the application was completed. He had thus been provided ample time to consider what action might be taken to circumvent the Greenwood's taboo, yet no reasonable option had as yet revealed itself. Galdor gave a final inspection to the heart-spiral and sighed lightly.
"It is done. You are under my care until the day you are bound in soul-union to your life-mate," he declared.
"I shall heed your counsel in all matters, Tirn'wador," Legolas gave the proper response with a heavy heart.
Sadron had spoken truly, at the first puncture he had felt Calarlim's presence departing and it hurt more than he had expected, for this pain of the soul had taken root in his spirit upon her death and he had thought it terrible enough before. Listlessly he reached for his shirt but Galdor stayed his hand.
"Will you not even look upon my handiwork?" he queried gently and stood, pulling Legolas to his feet as well. A hand on either shoulder, Galdor half-pushed, half-led the archer to the bedroom where a long silvered glass was fixed within a carved wooden stand braced upon the floor.
"Oh!" Legolas could not help the exclamation of surprise for he had never seen a mirror so large, nor viewed his full body thus from an exterior perspective. Tentatively he lifted his hand to trace out the new additions on the heart-spiral, where the bright red outline forever highlighted that which he had lost.
"See, Calarlim will always remain close to your heart, no matter the distance death has forced upon you," said Galdor and met the tear bright eyes in the mirror with an encouraging smile.
Legolas tried to smile back and gave a brief nod, but dropped his eyes as he fought to contain another surge of sorrow.
"Go and dress while I put away the tools and straighten up the room," instructed Galdor and with another quick nod Legolas hurried back to the hearth.
The flames were nothing more than shimmering spots of incandescent orange among the white fluff of ashes and broken chunks of black charcoal, but the last bits of the tree continued to give off heat. Legolas gratefully sat upon the fire-warmed stone and lifted his shirt, dressing quickly as Galdor put everything away. A soft chime repeated three times and drifted through the house, making Legolas look up in curiosity to see if Tirn'wador would explain.
"Tea time is thus announced," chuckled Galdor.
"Ah, I have promised to take tea with Sam and Frodo and their kinsmen. How shall I find them? I never thought to ask where they would like to meet," Legolas felt a bit foolish upon realising this.
"We shall go together, for I will not release you from my side until we have discussed your troubles further. Also, I promised a strengthening ritual for the council tomorrow and we must plan for Ścaul Annaur," answered the elder elf.
"As you say, Tirn'wador," Legolas rose and followed him from the room.
They found the Hobbits in their private chambers, a huge apartment meant to accommodate a family with children along and thus had an extra bedroom and a larger sitting room. If the small folk were surprised or disgruntled to have an uninvited guest they did not show it, warmly welcoming Galdor, whom Legolas introduced as his Guardian. Meeting Merry and Pippin was a joy and the two soon had Legolas' thoughts diverted from his sorrows as they told a series of rather embarrassing stories concerning Frodo's antics while growing up. That prompted Sam and Frodo to retaliate in kind, and before the end of the simple repast the Wood Elf was close to tears again but this time from laughter rather than woe.
For his part, Galdor was glad to see his new ward lighter in spirit and partaking, albeit sparingly, of sustenance again. They stayed with the Hobbits for two hours and then returned to the noble Lord's suite.
At once Legolas moved to the sofa and took up the warm cloak still draped over the seat, wrapping it tight about him as he curled up against the ample cushions.
"Still cold?" Galdor asked and did not wait for the answering nod before going to the fireplace and stirring up the embers. In minutes he had the blaze renewed and added sufficient fuel to maintain the fire for some time. That done he prepared another of the miruvor mixtures and presented it to Legolas. "Drink and we shall speak of Glorfindel."
Legolas physically jumped at the abrupt introduction of this topic and nearly spilled the glass as he took it, feeling his ears grow warm with Tirn'wador's eyes upon him. He simultaneously yearned and dreaded to explore the subject of the Balrog Slayer. He took a deep draught and steeled himself to meet Galdor's kindly, expectant gaze.
"As you say, Tirn'wador." Legolas had never been so grateful for the set and proper phrases before this night. And for this tonic. This being the third portion of it in a relatively short time, the woodland messenger felt its effects begin almost immediately.
"He is a worthy suitor." Galdor began as he sat beside the archer.
"He cannot be my suitor nor can I become his; he is male."
"A technicality only applicable in Greenwood. Here in Imladris, and my home in Mithlond, that is an irrelevant factor."
"Yet I live in Greenwood."
"Glorfindel lives here."
"There, even without the law's strictures against it the match is doomed."
"I do not see why. You have already said you are not expected to provide any sort of official duty of state in Greenwood. Could you not spend much of your time away from the trees?"
"Nay! I am needed; every archer is vitally important. I could never abandon my trees, my people. You cannot know what it is like; the Shadow tries to rob Greenwood of its very soul while the Orcs from Dol Guldur seek to eliminate every elf in the forest. Shall I go away when such trials accost my country?"
"Then the match itself is not undesirable to you, only the estrangement from your home holds you back?"
"I
that is
he is worthy, I am sure. Yet I do not know him well, nor even if he desires such a thing."
"It is better not to withhold your thoughts, for I do know Glorfindel well and can best determine if he would make a fitting mate for you. Over both his life-times I have observed him, Legolas, and I perceive that he hungers for you. The question disturbing me is whether there is anything more than that, and yet in your current dilemma that may be all we have to build upon. You do find him appealing, yes?"
A long silence followed, broken by a nervous gulp of the restorative liquid and then, "Aye," the assent, barely audible, was given.
"What underlies this attraction?"
"I do not know, he is just
superb," Legolas felt his cheeks must be on fire so difficult was this to say and yet somehow the word had simply just escaped. He took another swallow and did not object when Galdor pulled him closer and began to gently rub his back and shoulders.
"Define that." These words were clearly spoken through a large grin. "What about him is so exemplary in comparison to any other elf you have met?" Galdor pushed, increasing the rhythmic massage down the silvan's back and arms. A light sigh and a sudden easing of tension informed him the elf was fully under the influence of the drug and he smiled again.
"He stood up for me," Legolas answered, feeling more at ease with the ancient Lord, grateful for the physical contact as much as for the non-judgemental acceptance of his desire for a male elf. He shivered and sighed again; it was so good to let go of all the worry and allow his Guardian to manage things for a time. Legolas' head dropped back to rest upon the Noldo's shoulder.
"At the borders?"
"Aye, and at the pools. He intervened in Erestor's plans to defame me."
"This is a quality you admire then, his proclivity to defend you even against his fellows and friends."
Another brief nod confirmed this statement. "Even more, he respects me. He did not laugh or scorn my words, nor allow the other warriors to do so uncontested."
"And at the baths, what happened there?"
"Erestor said some rather indecent things about me and boldly stated that Glorfindel had chosen me as his next lover."
"He said this in your presence?" Galdor's tone was shocked.
"In Quenya. He does not know, no one does, except Glorfindel, that I speak it well." In a less-fuzzy section of his brain Legolas regarded himself in amazed dismay, for he had just revealed something he most certainly should not. He vaguely wondered why he did not feel alarmed at this sudden loosening of his tongue, attributed it correctly to the drugged wine, and blithely let the idea vanish from his thoughts.
"That is interesting!" announced Galdor with a short laugh as he watched the silvan slip deeper into a state of mellow inebriation courtesy of the potent drug, his inhibitions falling away one by one. "Remember, all that you share with me remains between us. Fear not, for I will not betray your confidence. You told Glorfindel of this talent?" It was this that the noble elf found truly intriguing. "What made you trust him so?"
"Was it a mistake?" Legolas tried to focus on his Guardian but found his head too heavy to lift from its present placement upon the elder's shoulder. He had a clear view of Galdor's strong chin and jaw and smiled, for he could tell Sadron was also still grinning widely.
"Nay, not at all. Never has he betrayed a secret to my knowledge. He seems disposed to take your part. If he had divulged anything to Elrond, I would have been told at once, for I represent Mithlond, a strong ally to Imladris. I assure you I found this information quite unexpected. You decided quickly to encourage Glorfindel's interest. You had ample opportunity to observe him closely at the baths, is that why? What is it about him that stirs your blood?"
"It is as I have said. He is
superb." this last word emerged more as a throaty purr of pure desire than a simple word of descriptive praise and Legolas sighed again after uttering it. Behind him Galdor's low chuckle rumbled through him and incited a light giggle from the archer.
"So you would have him for your lover." The only response to this was a lazy lolling nod of the golden head. "And how shall it be between you, then. What would you have for your first encounter?"
That brought the colour back to the Wood Elf's face instantly and chased the smile away, replacing it with a wide-eyed look of stricken embarrassment. The elder noted this and started rubbing the archer's arms soothingly as the silence stretched into minutes.
"I do not know anything about
joining
between males," Legolas managed at last and hastily drank the remainder of the tonic, wishing there was more. He did not even feel it when Galdor removed the glass from his hand and set it aside. "I understand about male and female and the making of children. None of that applies; does it?"
"Some of it does, for your body will respond as any male's. The question I believe you are asking me is how to accommodate that state of arousal. None of this was discussed between you and Calarlim?"
"Nay, for there was no notion of fulfilling such a desire. Her counsel was on how to deal with such urges privately."
"You are completely untouched by any but your own hands." Galdor's tone grew gentler then and he smiled at the short nod of acknowledgement this provoked. "What do you imagine when you handle this specific problem?"
"That it is another touching me," Legolas began awkwardly, "another's hands and lips caressing my ears and neck, my chest and my
arousal." He was silent for several heartbeats but Galdor gave no reaction to this scandalous statement at all other than an encouraging nod of his head.
"Tirn'wador, I have never even been kissed, not with desire and need. I wish to be kissed and to kiss back, to know the taste of my lover's skin, his mouth, his essence," Cuthenin announced quietly, his words dissipating in a breathy whisper as he found the need to breath in deeply. And I would have Glorfindel be the one. "I want to touch; I want to give pleasure and see that this is so. Glorfindel would welcome this?"
"Aye, but he is not a fantasy under your control, Legolas. He is a real being, not merely a mythical hero from a child's story book. He is a vital and viral male and would make a most demanding lover," Galdor cautioned and felt Legolas tremble under his hands. The Wood Elf shifted uncomfortably and the Noldo Lord had not doubts as to the cause.
"Not a dream, real," Legolas whispered, and shivered again. He sought to reorient his body, hoping to ease the discomfort in his groin as this talk stimulated his libido. "I would have that be so, Tirn'wador. You can arrange this? He will become my Faer Hebron."
"Perhaps. Yet what of your fears of banishment from Greenwood? Your desire has quickly overwhelmed your dread of censure."
"They do not need to know about it. You will not tell them; Glorfindel need never go there. I can remain Athedrainyn between Greenwood and Imladris, spend time in both places."
"What of your duty as a warrior? Do not cast off your just concerns for one experience of passion's fulfilment."
"Then I will go home afterwards and Glorfindel will stay here. I suppose we shall not meet again very often until we cross to Eldamar."
"That hardly seems fair to either of you. Is that all you wish for, then? To experience this joining and then depart?"
"Nay. I would have him love me. I want to be loved and to love in return. I want a life-mate, Tirn'wador. Why can I not have this be Glorfindel? He is perfect."
Galdor could not suppress a light laugh at this naive demand and bold assessment of Glorfindel's qualities. "He is not flawless for no elf is. Everyone has faults and Glorfindel is no exception. Remember what I said: he is flesh and blood, more than a legend in a book. And he has had some rather bad experiences regarding pairing up with other elves. As in all cases, the problems were not entirely due to his partner's failings alone.
"You find him appealing and he has already made his interest in you plain. But these are often not the same thing, Legolas: desire and love. You crave his touch, he longs to claim you. That is a purely physical attraction. You have only met him this morn; whether there can be more between you is a serious consideration." The ancient elder's lecture ceased as the silvan warrior emitted a groan of discontented irritation.
"Why can I not have both these things? I would love him and please him also."
"Would you now? Are you so ready to commit your soul to this one elf? If that is true, could you leave him so easily?"
"Nay, you are right. I could not bear to be parted, if he loves me and I him. Yet I could never bring him to my home. Thus I am to be banished after all." Legolas nearly sobbed to utter this, his greatest fear, aloud.
"Hold, Cuthenin, for you have leaped far ahead of the present! You cannot declare love to one you do not yet know. Nor do we have any notions of Glorfindel's thoughts on seeking a life-mate. Thus, it is premature to sentence yourself to exile." Yet in his heart Galdor felt that Legolas' prediction would prove accurate, for there was in the Wood Elf's voice a note of acceptance, as if his heart had recognised to whom it belonged and felt both at peace and torn in two.
"You will see to it then. He must complete Faras-Uin-Ind first. (Hunting of the Heart - formal courtship) Then we can think of some means to conceal the bond from my people."
Galdor considered silently for several minutes, worried now that he had raised the youth's hopes beyond reasonable expectation, for Glorfindel had not seemed overly eager about assuming any role that brought him into contact with Legolas' soul. His body, yes, Glorfindel will gladly lay claim to that. As for the Wood Elf's heart, the Vanya is unlikely to be open to such a gift. I must make discreet inquiries and seek another. Legolas will be bound to agree to his Tirn'wador's choice. He sighed and squeezed the archer's shoulders consolingly.
"I shall speak with him; no more can I promise. If I decide this union would do greater harm to your spirit then you must accept my evaluation. Yet I will seek for you a Faer Hebron, for Ścaul Annaur must be achieved as soon as may be possible. For now, I will escort you back to the talan, for you are restless over a problem you must work out on your own." So saying, Galdor got up and offered a hand to Legolas, who was very red of face over this allusion to his state of arousal, which had not subsided but rather grown more frustratingly intractable.
TBC
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