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Constant Billy	By : islandwight Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > General > Lord of the Ring Stars Views: 1890 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
Part Nine

Constant Billy

He had bought a bench, one of those nice ornate ones with all the
classic iron bits, and had it placed near the apple tree. It faced the tree, and Sean wanted some
plants around the tree as well. He wanted
it to look nice, and he wanted Billy to see that Sean had taken Billy�s request
seriously. He�d got the flowerbed, one
of many in his roomy, high-walled garden, staked out, and after finishing with
turning the soil, he called to Katie to join him for a rest. She rose from her seat on the ground, where
she had been placing edging around a rose bed planted in memory of Rachel, and,
flipping her hair away from her face, she came and appraised her father�s work. �Not too shabby, Dad, not too shabby at
all,� she smiled.

�You�re doing a great job with that,� Sean said, brushing a smudge of
earth from her cheek. He took a seat on
the bench, patting the spot next to him.
�You picked the perfect place for your project, and your mother would be
so pleased. The way she was mad about
birds, the feeder is a great touch.
Have you picked out a birdbath yet?�

She smiled, brushing brown dirt from her bottom before sitting beside
her father. �I�d like to get one of
those with two tiers and the little fountain on top. And I�d like to have one of those little ponds, and some koi to
go in it, and some benches all around.
It would be a lovely place to sit around with my mates. Mum would have loved the rose bed, don�t you
think? Did you decide what to plant
yet?� she asked.

�Not really,� he said. �He
should be here soon. I wanted him to
help me decide. I can�t imagine what
would be keeping him, his appointment in London was early yesterday.�

He didn�t have to qualify the �he�.
Katie knew. Her friendship with
Penny had made things easier for her, which meant things were easier for Sean
and Billy, too, and for that, Sean was grateful. �Don�t worry, Dad,� she said, patting the back of his hand with
her smaller and very grubby one. �He�ll
get here as soon as he can, I�m sure.�

Sean frowned. �Sorry, you know
your old dad. Always a worrier.�

�He�s fine, Dad,� Katie said, smiling.
�It could be that he just had obligations; you know how busy he is. It isn�t like him to keep someone waiting
without a good reason. He was always on
time for football matches with Granddad, and when he took me skating. And he isn�t all that late.�

�I know,� Sean said, and caught himself (to his utter humiliation)
sighing like a moonstruck teenager.

Katie laughed. �Now, that�s
just sad,� she teased. �Stop
worrying! And stop pining.�

�Pining?�

�Yes, pining,� she replied saucily.
�Be right back, I�m getting us some water.� She kissed his cheek. �I
don�t know what I would do without you to fuss over, Dad. Want an apple? I�m having one. Or a
sandwich, maybe. Want a sandwich?�

�That would be lovely,� Sean said.
Katie flipped open her mobile, probably to call Penny, Sean imagined, as
she vanished into the house. She�s
growing up on me, he thought as his mind wandered back to the time when
he�d had another sandwich, after he and Billy had made the proverbial earth
move the first night they had slept in that special bedroom�

Sean had got the sandwiches��the last of the cold lamb��and another
bottle of good wine along with a basket of strawberries and, placing these on a
tray, had gone back upstairs. As he
approached the bedroom with its crackling, fragrant fire, he could hear Billy
talking to himself again. Sean stood in
the doorway and listened. Billy was
standing in front of the balcony doors, looking up at the moon yet again.

�Hello, moon,� Billy said. He
sighed deeply before continuing.
�You�ve always been there for me.
But I have such news to tell you.
How do I start? Like a Dear John
letter? Dear Moon, I hope you�ll
understand and try to remember that what we had was wonderful once, but I�m
afraid there is someone else� Because there really is someone else, someone
I can share all my secrets with, and he loves me. He loves me. He
loves me! He�ll always be there
for me, and unlike you, he�s constant.
Really, you must know, sometimes you aren�t half there.�

Sean grinned to himself. Such
an endearingly quirky thing it was, when Billy seemingly had conversations with
himself, speaking his innermost thoughts.
But Sean knew he was in this all the way, and that meant honesty. He couldn�t go on eavesdropping. It wasn�t right. He cleared his throat to let Billy know he was back. �Having a chat with yourself, pudding?�

Billy turned, a wide grin on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. �No, I�m telling my secrets to the moon,� he
replied. �I�ve always done it, since I
was just a wee blighter.�

Sean brought the food into the room and sat on the floor before the
fire. �And what does the moon say?�

Billy looked at Sean as if he had just turned purple. �It doesn�t say anything,� he said
dryly. �That�s why I tell it my
secrets, it won�t tell anyone.� He went
to Sean and sat on the floor across from him.
He took his sandwich and bit a sizable half-moon out of it, and Sean
reflected that he loved the way sex made Billy ravenous.

�Well, I won�t eavesdrop on you and your moon,� Sean said. �If I walk in on you two again, I�ll let you
know I�m there, or let you have your privacy.�

�Not necessary,� Billy said around a mouthful of sandwich. �I don�t mind at all. Just don�t think I�ve lost my sanity, okay?�

�You don�t mind? Really? Don�t just say that if you don�t mean it,�
Sean said. �Because I like listening to
you, to be honest. Oh, and while we�re
on the subject, I should tell you I was listening last night. I was afraid you�d think badly of me for not
letting you know I was awake, so I just pretended I was still sleeping. Sorry.�

Billy swallowed the bite of sandwich and smiled gently. He leaned forward and gave Sean a peck on
the corner of his mouth. �That�s for
taking this seriously,� he said. �You
wouldn�t have told me that if you weren�t serious. You really are a good, old-fashioned English lover-boy, aren�t
you?�

Sean grinned, then placed his fingers under Billy�s chin and guided him
closer. He placed a strawberry in
Billy�s mouth, then, leaning in, bit half of it off. Leaning back, he watched Billy to see how he would react.

Swallowing his half, Billy grinned.
�Say it,� he said, eyes glittering with good humour.

�Say what?� Sean said
innocently, struggling to suppress a grin of his own.

�You know!�

�What?�

Billy took a berry and bit into it, leaning close and tipping his head
back seductively. Again, Sean took half
of the strawberry. �Come on, you
know! Say it,� Billy grinned.

�All right! All right!� Sean laughed. �Tastes like strawberries.�

Billy laughed and scooted closer.
�I love how you say that!�
He popped the last of his sandwich into his mouth and chewed, snuggling
closer. They sat contentedly together
as Sean picked up each strawberry and they shared each one, taking turns biting
the berries in half from each other�s mouths.
Amazing, the amount of time one could spend eating strawberries like
that. Then, stretching out in front of
the fire, they lay on their sides with Billy�s back to Sean�s chest. Billy squirmed his bum back against Sean as
Sean draped an arm loosely across Billy�s middle. They lay there quietly, just staring into the fire for quite a
stretch of time. Sean could feel Billy
relaxing more and more, his muscles loosening as he grew sleepy from his sexual
satiation and a full belly. Add that to
the warmth of the fire and the knowledge that he was lying cradled against
Sean, the man he had wanted so desperately to love him, the man who now did
love him, and you got a very contented Billy.
Sean recalled Billy saying he could purr like a cat. Like a cat curled up in the warmth of a
fire, Billy became drowsy, and Sean mused that Billy was catlike in many
ways. Sean curled himself around Billy,
kissing his shoulder. Billy�s breathing
became deeper and steadier. He yawned
hugely, and Sean rose on one elbow to kiss his cheek from behind.

�Come on, pudding,� Sean said, smiling against Billy�s cheek. �You�re so tired. Just look at you, my sleepy boy.
Your eyelids are drooping. Let�s
go to bed, yeah?�

Billy nodded. Sean stood and
offered a hand to help Billy up.
Crawling into the big bed, Sean pulled Billy close, and Billy pillowed
his head in the hollow of Sean�s shoulder with yet another huge yawn, his
brilliant eyes at half-mast. �Sing for
me,� he mumbled sleepily. �I like to hear
you singing. I like the way your chest
rumbles in my ear.�

�You want spoiling,� Sean said.
�And, you cheeky little monkey, you know I like doing it, don�t you?�

�Aye,� Billy replied saucily.
He snuggled even closer and yawned again. �Come on, sing for me!�

�All right, all right, brat!�
Smiling, Sean obliged. How
not? ��When the fish fly over the
trees, then will I see my Billy again��

He
continued to sing until he heard Billy�s soft snore. His arm tingled from the weight of Billy�s head on his shoulder,
so he eased Billy�s pillow under his head, turning on his side so as to drape
one long arm around Billy�s middle.
Kissing Billy�s forehead softly, Sean whispered, �Love you.� In mere seconds, Sean was sleeping like the
dead.

As
usual, he woke first. After having a
pee, he put more wood on the fire, and then slipped back beneath the covers,
pulling Billy close, almost like a child holds his favourite teddy, smiling at
the mental image. Billy was a warm and
entirely huggable cuddly toy. Sean
draped a leg across Billy�s body and nuzzled his neck, eliciting a sleepy moan.

�Sean,�
Billy said, or rather whined. �I was
sleeping.�

�I
know,� Sean said. �Yesterday you asked
if I was a morning man. I said yes,
remember?� He pulled Billy back against
him, kissing the crook of his neck and poking his buttock with a semi-hard
prick.

�Sean,
stop,� Billy said, then completely contradicted himself by pressing his bum
back against Sean. So, thought
Sean, he wants pursuing, he wants persuading. That way he knows he�s not being taken for granted. Well,
then, if persistence is what he wants, persistence is what he�ll get.

He
pulled Billy back against him more tightly, his embrace firm and inescapable,
yet gentle. �Want some British beef for
breakfast?� Sean murmured against
Billy�s shoulder. He was rewarded with
something between a growl and a groan, accompanied by a wriggle of Billy�s warm
little bum. Sean was always careful to
make sure Billy was ready, and morning or no, he was careful now. Once inside, he moved slowly and gently,
enjoying the way Billy pressed his bum back against Sean�s thrusts. After Billy came, Sean allowed himself to
take his own pleasure. They lay
together like that and drifted off to sleep for another two hours.

Sean
woke to Billy nudging him. �Sean,�
Billy said sleepily. �Sean, get up and
fill up the tub. I�ve got a sticky
bum.�

Sean
moaned. �Can�t you do it?� He closed his eyes again, hoping for a few
more winks.

�I
want you to do it,� Billy insisted.

Sean
wanted to ask why Billy couldn�t do it himself. Instead, he found himself crawling out of bed to do Billy�s
bidding. He got the water just right,
then went to the bed and dragged Billy up by one wrist and guided him to the
tub. Sean slipped into the hot water
with Billy, leaning back in the roomy tub with a pleasurable moan. Billy leaned back against Sean with a yawn,
stretching out his legs.

�This
is lovely,� he said contentedly.
�Thanks, Sean.�

�Like
I said, you want spoiling, don�t you?
You�re a brat.�

�I�m
your brat, and don�t you forget it,� Billy said. �Wash my back?�

Sean
chuckled, soaping up a flannel. He gave
Billy�s back a gentle scrubbing, then turned so that Billy could return the
favour.

Billy
laughed. �You�re groaning like a big
dog getting his ears scratched.�

�Feels
good. Forgot how nice it is having my
back washed.�

�You
could do with a bit of spoiling, yourself,� Billy said, his voice like melted
toffee.

�And
you�re just the one to do it, yeah?�

�Damned
straight I am. I�m going to see to it
you�re well and truly spoiled rotten.�

They
lolled in the tub, talking and laughing until their hands were wrinkly and the
water was almost cold. After bathing,
Sean scrounged a robe for Billy. He did
Billy�s laundry while Billy took a turn making breakfast. The breakfast was good, Billy being a fair
cook. They chatted idly as they ate,
finding more nourishment in their companionship than in the meal itself. Billy pushed their dishes aside when they
were done and sipped his tea, looking at Sean over the rim of his cup.

�What
about Katie?� he said. It wasn�t
necessary for him to elaborate.

�She�s
not stupid, Billy,� Sean said. �And
just remember, her best mate is Penny, with two dads. She�ll suss it out on her own, if she hasn�t already done.�

�She
won�t resent me?�

�This
is Katie you�re talking about, Billy.
Don�t be daft.�

�Just
checking,� Billy smiled over his cup.
�If it�s good with you, it�s good with me.�

Sean
reached across the table to brush Billy�s cheek with the back of his
fingers. �No worries, lad. If she has anything to say or any questions,
we�ll know about it soon enough.�

�Sean?�

�Yeah?�

�Am
I going to be her dad, too?�

�If
that�s what she wants, and if that�s what you want, I don�t see why not.�

�I
want to take her skating or something,� Billy said. �You know, just to give her a chance to talk privately with me,
if she wants. Is that all right?�

�I
think it�s a great idea. I knew all
along, you know.�

�What?�

�That
you�d make a great father.�

Billy
looked at Sean for long moments, then grinned ear to ear. Saying it was one thing, but Sean was
putting it into action. This meant
something to Billy, apparently. Sean
began to understand that his words were an act of faith and trust in
Billy. Sean wasn�t the kind of father
who would blindly share his parenting duties with just anyone, and Billy knew
that.

�That�s
the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,� Billy smiled, his voice soft and
filled with emotion.

After
doing the washing up and finishing Billy�s laundry they took a long walk
together, each saying little, but constantly aware of the presence of the
other. They found themselves smiling
often for no good reason, and to Sean, this was one of the best things
yet. Later they went to market and
re-supplied the kitchen. Sean made sure
to stock up on porridge oats and fresh fruit.
After that, they settled in and watched old movies, curled together on
the sofa, drinking beer and chatting like an old established couple. There were moments when it seemed the both
of them could see how it would be for them, as though looking at future
snapshots of their lives, and from where Sean sat, those snapshots looked
good. The evening was filled with small
talk and snacking, a few lessons in G�idhlig and lots of long, comfortable
silences, when everything that was worth saying could be read in each other�s
eyes. It wasn�t the most event-filled
day or the most exciting evening in their lives, but it was certainly one of
the most blessed and blissful days in either man�s memory.

The
night, however, was another matter altogether.
The deepening of their relationship made their lovemaking more intense,
more important, and certainly more full of need and fulfilment in so many ways. At any rate, it passed all so swiftly and
before they knew it, they lay sated and satisfied in every way, tangled
together, all warmth and whispers. Rain
began to patter on the glass doors of the balcony, lulling them to sleep.

The
morning found Sean waking to Billy�s sunny disposition, infecting him with a
deep happiness at the prospect of a life of morning sun in Billy�s smiles. Instead of sex straight away, this morning
Sean wanted to simply loll in bed a bit, wanted to simply lie there, able to
hold Billy and kiss him as many times as he fancied. Which turned out to be quite a lot before Billy wanted more. And Billy certainly wanted more. Billy would always want more. Sean loved the need in Billy, the need for
more than physical satisfaction. The
curious vitality in his lover that Sean found so nourishing always gave him the
will and desire to give Billy what he both wanted and needed, and it was a
heady and powerful drug. Without fail Billy�s need of him filled Sean with a
vigour and strength that was undeniable.
The more he gave to Billy, the stronger Sean felt, the more alive he
felt, his body thrumming with vitality, his heart so full it nearly ached. Once Billy�s needs were met, he happily
lolled in Sean�s embraces, drinking in the warmth he found in Sean�s eyes and
arms and heart. The lad had a talent
for making Sean feel like a god.
Impossible to get enough of that.

Later
on, they went to pick up Katie. After
that, they spent the afternoon at Sean�s parents house. Sean�s grandmother was there, and he watched
as dear old Gran wrapped Billy around her finger. Billy had a soft spot for the older folks, Sean knew, and Gran
could be such a lovely woman. Sean
adored his grandmother and didn�t mind in the least her adding another young
one to her list of friends. Besides,
you had to love a man who loved old ladies the way Billy did. Seemed there was no end to the ways Billy
continued to capture Sean�s heart, the little blighter�

Instead
of London broil, the meal consisted of a monstrous rib roast and Yorkshire
pudding. Sean had to kick Billy under
the table to stop him laughing. After
eating, there was football in the garden.
At one point Billy hopped up on Brian�s back, and the older man
collapsed with laughter. It seemed
Billy�s endless vitality infused more than Sean with life. Grimy and grass-stained and grinning, they
had tea with Sean�s family before it was time to go.

Once
they left, there was one more thing to do, the hardest thing: time to take
Katie to visit Rachel�s grave. With
flowers purchased on the way, the three stood at the foot of the grave. There was a moment of awkwardness, and Sean
saw a worried look on Billy�s face. He
draped an arm around Billy�s shoulders and felt him relax just a little. Katie removed the old blooms and placed the
fresh flowers in the brass urn. She
caressed the headstone, as though Rachel might feel her daughter�s touch on her
cheek. Then Katie got up, turned to
Sean and Billy. She put her arms around
each man�s neck and hugged them tightly.

�It�s
going to be all right,� she choked. �I
told her not to worry, everything will be all right now. I think she understands somehow. She knows we miss her, but I know she wants
us to be all right.�

The
three of them stood there clinging to each other. �I know,� Billy murmured to Katie. �I know, Katie, m'eudail, I know it�s hard, lass, I do��

Katie began to sob. Her slight form trembled.
�She has to understand, she has to!
I have to let her go, and somehow keep her in my heart without it
breaking. Please, please let her
understand.�

�She will, Katie, I know she will, I know she
does,� Sean said, stroking her hair.
�She loved you so, I know she doesn�t want you miserable on her
account.�

Disentangling himself, Sean picked her up just as
he had when she was only just a tiny thing weeping from a skinned knee. �Take me to the car, Dad,� she said. �I want to go home.�

Billy nodded to Sean. Sean, nodding back, turned to carry his daughter back to the
car. �Goodbye, Mum,� Katie said, her
voice small and weak. �I love you,
Mum! We�ll be together again some day.�

Sean put Katie down by the car and opened the door
for her. As he closed it, he turned to
see Billy kneeling by Rachel�s grave.
He appeared to be saying something.
Sean didn�t catch all of his words, but he did hear when Billy said
�I�ll take care of them for you. I
promise.�

Sean swallowed hard, but smiled gently.

They went home.

That evening the three spent together. Sean could never remember how it happened, but
somehow they wound up in the garden together, slowly strolling down the
path. Just between the back door and
the apple tree, Katie knelt, plucking at some unidentifiable brown thing that
had the audacity to call itself a weed.
Billy knelt beside her and placed an arm around her slim waist. �This would be a nice place for some roses,
don�t you think, Katie,
m'eudail?�

Katie looked at him. �Yes, I think it would.�
She smiled. The sadness could
still be seen there in her face, but now it was tempered with a new strength
and a kind of acceptance. �She loved
roses. I think I�d like some roses
here. For her, you know.�

�That�s lovely, Katie, m'eudail,
I know she would be pleased.�

�Could you help?
Next spring, I mean.�

�It would be a privilege, m'eudail.�

�Then�you�re going to be here?�

�Would you like that?�

Katie hugged him so fiercely they nearly fell over
into the weeds. �You�ll be here. Won�t you?
Won�t you?�

�Aye, m'eudail,� Billy
said. �I will. I promise.
For you, too.�

Inexplicably, Katie began to
giggle. Billy held her at arm�s length,
studying her owlishly. �Penny said you
would,� she grinned.

�Penny,� Billy smiled, �is a most perceptive and
intelligent lass. If a wee bit cheeky.�

Sean smiled, watching them plan the new garden
layout: the rose beds here, a birdbath there, violets along the path. Sean made his own plans privately. Looked like that dream Billy had just might
come to reality.

Katie went to bed early, so Sean and Billy strolled
to the pub for a couple of beers, then went home and to bed. Their lovemaking may have been more subdued,
but it was no less passionate and was made in their bedroom, not Sean�s old
room.

Monday morning Billy took Katie skating. Sean never asked what they talked about, but
when they returned, he knew everything was going to be fine with the three of
them. He knew this because when Katie
said Billy�s name it sounded almost as if she were saying Dad. After
lunch, the three of them took in a film: the turning of a corner to take a new
path in life, and they did it together��as a family.

This was to be their last day together for a
while. Billy had to be off to his next
project, and Sean to his own soon after.
Sean wanted so badly to extend the day, to grasp it in his fist and just
refuse to let go. The hours, however,
would suffer no denial. In the space of
a few short breaths, it was over.
Standing in the entryway with his battered rucksack on one shoulder,
Billy looked at them with eyes that bespoke his inner turmoil.

�I don�t want
to go,� he said. This was no ploy to
gain sympathy. Billy couldn�t bear
sympathy. This was the little boy
still locked away, crying first for his parents, and then desperately pleading
for someone��anyone! to come for him, to take him away from all
this, take him from the lonely well the little boy had been dropped into. Sean had found that lost little thing, had
pulled him up from the darkness to find not an urchin, not a pitiful little
wretch. What Sean saw was a lonely,
frightened child and subconsciously adopted him. Only he hadn�t. It only
seemed that way at first when Sean met the little urchin. What he had really found was some fabled
creature, perhaps from the realm of Fey itself, neither young nor old, but
ageless and immortal, its magic nearly eaten away by the past. What a crime, to
let something that beautiful, that wonderful, live his life out never knowing
it did not have to be that way.

Sean had seen it, the promise of what it once had
been, the promise of what it could be if only someone would just� Just�
love him. The thought had tormented Sean for months,
unable to act on his impulses; yet knowing he could help this beautiful
creature. Could not any of Billy�s
friends see? And if they did, why did
none of them do
something? Then there was that drunken
outing with Sean just enough buzzed so as to let the possibility in, the
possibility that maybe only Sean could see��see, and do something about it. So he did it, or tried to do it, right there
in Wellington. And it started as no
more than a kiss. The kiss acted as a
key in a door locked far too long. Like
a frozen man, Sean let the key just sit in the lock until surely the lock came
near to freezing itself, never to be unlocked, that door forever shut. The door kept out all light, all music, all
hope. Not only for Billy, oh, no, that
door worked to block that light, that life from
Sean, too.

But then there was Billy, there was constant
Billy. Constant because he had shut
away his heart for too long. Constant
now because he had forced the lock and opened the door. Constant because he must be��for himself,
for Sean and even for Katie. Constant
as the changing of the seasons, the turning of the tide, constant as the flow
and ebb and pull of the sea, constant as the waxing and waning of the moon,
constant as life itself. Now Sean was
constant, too��constant in his need for Billy and constant in his heart, too.

The down side of that was that Sean would feel
constant want of him when they parted.
The up side was that Sean would feel constant in the knowledge that
Billy would return. After all, he was
Constant Billy.

�I don�t want to go,� Billy said again.

Now Sean, understanding what the word constant meant for them, only smiled
reassuringly. �We don�t want you to
go,� he said.

�But I have to,� Billy said, studying his
disreputable red and white trainers.

�But you�ll be back, Billy,� Katie said in that way
that made Billy come out sounding like Dad.

�Of course he will,� Sean said. �He�s our Constant Billy.� It was only eight little words, eight little
words� but they said so much, those words.
Billy dropped his rucksack and threw his arms around them. He kissed their cheeks until the three of
them were laughing.

�Tha
gaol agam ort,� Billy said. I love you�

"Tha
gaol agam ort-fh�in,� Sean said. I love you, too.

Billy,
standing as still as a statue, looked at Sean and his daughter. �Well, I suppose I should go now,� he
said. Instead, he just stood there,
unable to move.

Katie
picked up his rucksack and handed it to him, then gently kissed his cheek. �Don�t forget, you promised to go to some
matches with Granddad and me. And to
take me skating, too.�

�How
could I ever forget a promise to you, my Katie? And don�t you forget you have a wonderful family who loves you
very much.�

�And
so do you, Billy,� Katie said. �So do
you.� Katie�s face shone with a gentle
smile at the way Billy�s eyes lit up.

Katie�s
words soothed away whatever froze Billy.
He looked from Sean to Katie, and back to Sean. Then, seemingly having sorted out some
internal conflict, he stepped forward quickly, as if to act before he changed
his mind. He placed a hand behind
Sean�s neck, stood on his toes and gave him a brief kiss. With only a slight blush, he glanced at
Katie worriedly to see how this had affected her, but Katie seemed suddenly
completely absorbed in clearing her throat and twiddling her thumbs. Sean grinned. Worried about a display of affection in front of her, yeah? Yep, the lad would make a splendid parent
for Katie, all right. He took Billy�s
chin between finger and thumb, tipping his head back to return a kiss for a
kiss: just enough of a kiss to show Billy how he felt, but not so much as to
make Katie or Billy uncomfortable. The
kiss was an almost innocent, even a chaste little kiss, done to give them a
measure of comfort at parting and a promise to reunite. After all, this was a relationship, and Sean
took it seriously. It made things
easier for Billy to go now, Sean could just tell without having to ask.

�You two take care,� Billy said. �You both belong to me, now, you know.� Sean saw Katie hide a stifled giggle behind
her hand while Billy beamed, once again the cheeky little monkey Sean had grown
to adore. �I�ll be back home before you
know it,� he said. �G�bye.�

And then he was gone.

They
missed him. They didn�t say much to
each other about it. Really, there
seemed to be no need, but they did miss him.
Their relationship seemingly re-nourished by recent changes, father and
daughter grew closer than ever, after that.
Katie stopped isolating herself and Sean stopped brooding. They communicated more easily now. To Sean�s delight, Katie began seeing her
friends again. She fussed over him
more, nagging him to eat right, to take care of himself. He never asked her, but didn�t doubt she had
taken it on herself to keep an eye on dear old Dad��and if dear old Dad didn�t take care of himself, Sean
suspected that she�d go straight to Billy with that bit of news. Probably Billy had put her up to it when they
went skating, not that he minded.

After
a few weeks, (and a few hundred conversations with Billy via mobile) the time
came for Sean to leave: time to do location work. Katie seemed to take his leaving better than expected. Again, he never asked her about it, but his
instincts told him that knowing Billy was out there for her to phone and to
spend what little free time he had with her eased her having to be parted from
her father. He had taken the part in North Country. It was a quality
role, though not a big one, thankfully.
That meant he wouldn�t be there more than a few months, from late autumn
to late spring. He wasn�t quite ready
for an extended stay away from home just yet.
He hadn�t needed to commit to a long stay on location; that was part of
the appeal of this role. He had no
desire for an extended stay, though Northern Minnesota had a kind of stark
beauty. He flew home for Christmas with
his family, but Billy was in Africa doing pick-ups. A shame their first Christmas together had to be spent, well, not
together�but at least they talked long hours on the phone and sent gifts by
post. The holiday was brief, though,
and in less than a week, Sean was back in Minnesota to finish up.

True
to his word, Sean called often, wrote often, and made sure he took every
opportunity to insure this relationship didn�t fall apart due to carelessness,
as he hadn�t done with Rachel. No way was he ever going to make that mistake
again. Able now to concentrate on his
work, revitalized by the promise of a new life, Sean had done some of his best
work to date on this film. His
craftsmanship honed to a fine point, he missed an Oscar nomination by a hair,
and in an American film, no less. His
part in North Country may not have been huge, but it was well done
enough that it put him on the Oscar map.
He had been vetted for an Oscar in Variety magazine. His photo bore the caption "Sean Bean gives a
quietly impressive performance.� Katie and
Billy kept him current on goings on in their lives. What little free time Billy had he used to keep his word to Brian
and Katie. Sean discovered knowing this
kept him more able to work his hardest and best, and he never lost a night�s
sleep worrying about his family. Not
since there was Billy.

The
project went almost too well to believe.
With the film wrapped up in record time, Sean found himself back home
almost before he knew what was happening.
Billy had left for another two weeks of pick-ups on Save Angel Hope, and
had another ten days to go before he could come home. Katie and Sean used this
time to work in the garden together.
This, too, improved their relationship, brought them closer
together. The change in Katie surprised
Sean, and not unpleasantly. She still
missed her mum, always would do, and they still went to the cemetery every
Sunday, but Katie had found a sense of balance now, and seemed to be maturing
so quickly. She became closer still to
Penny. After all, the two girls had so
much in common, even more than before.
They became less like friends and more like sisters.

The
day finally came when Billy was free to come home. Sean could think of it in no other terms. He wanted Billy to come home, home, home,
right now and thank you very much.
Today was the day, and Billy was late, and Sean couldn�t bear it much
longer. There was a hole in his life
where Billy was supposed to be. He felt
like an amputee having phantom itch in a missing limb. Which was why he sat here worrying and
woolgathering. And worrying and
woolgathering was why he jumped as if shot when something seemingly fell from
the branches of the apple tree and landed at his feet. He gaped at the item in puzzlement. What the bloody hell? A fish?
What�s got into Katie?

He
squatted to examine the fish: a fairly large salmon still wrapped in its clear
plastic shroud. And then he heard it:
laughter in a high and sweetly masculine voice. Sean looked up. There he
was, there was Billy, standing on the balcony, laughing and bouncing on the
heels of his (yet more) disreputable red and white trainers. You would think the lad couldn�t afford a
new pair of trainers, for God�s sake.

�There
you are!� Sean found himself laughing,
too. �So what�s with the fish, you daft
little blighter?�

�When
the fish fly over the trees, then will you see your Billy again,� Billy sang.

Sean
fairly ran into the house and up the stairs, laughing joyously every step of
the way, his feet light as feathers, his stride as springy as a cheetah�s. Down the hall, into their bedroom, across
the room to the opened balcony doors, he could not get there quickly
enough. Reaching through the balcony
doors, he grabbed Billy by the wrist and almost yanked him off his feet, into
the bedroom and into Sean�s arms. He
knew he hugged Billy much too hard because Billy grunted as Sean took his mouth
in a near bruising kiss. He picked
Billy up and spun around with him in his arms, recalling the swirling leaves
beneath the apple tree when they had kissed, when it began to truly happen for
them.

�Billy,
Billy, Billy, my Billy,� Sean laughed.
�God, I missed you, lad. But
you�re late. What kept you?�

�Well,
I picked up the fish, and then I shopped for a new skateboard and a better
helmet for Katie, and then I rang her and had her unlock the door so I could
surprise you.�

Sean
let Billy�s body slide down until his feet were safely deposited on the
floor. He laced his fingers between
Billy�s and led him downstairs. �Come
and see what we�ve done in the garden.�

Katie
stood smiling on the path, then rushed to give Billy a bruising hug. Billy grunted. �Between the pair of you I�m pretty sure I have a fractured rib,�
he said with a teasing tone. Billy
looked around the garden as Sean stepped closer. They strolled down the path.

�Look
at what you two have done with this,� Billy beamed. Sean and Katie pointed out their projects. Here there would be lilies, there a clump of
mallow.

�I
chose these,� Katie said, pointing out the last of the blooming snowdrops. �Right next to them will be forget-me-nots,
and see these? Bells of Ireland. Dad wants you to help pick out what we plant
around the apple tree. Are you
hungry? I told Dad I was making
sandwiches when I was talking to you on the mobile. Want a tuna wrap?�

�I�d
love one, m�eudail.�

Katie grinned at the pet name Billy had for
her. Somehow, when he said it, it made
her feel like she really was Billy�s m�eudail,
Billy�s dear. She skipped up the path
to make their meal.

�She�s going to drive you a little mad with that,�
Sean said. �She likes looking after me
and I can tell when she�s doing it by that look. Now she�s doing it to you.�

�Then let her,� Billy said. �Makes her feel all grown up, I�m sure. She�s a wonderful daughter, Sean. But I�m sure you know that since you�re her
dad.�

�Not a doubt in the world,� Sean said. �And I�m sure you know that, too.� He watched Billy smile, pleased by the
unspoken acknowledgement that Katie was his daughter, too. The smile was Sean�s favourite smile, the
one that spread over Billy�s entire face, crinkling his nose and lighting up
his eyes. �So, what would you like to
plant beneath our apple tree?�

�How about a kiss?
I�d like to plant lots of those.�

Sean led him to the bench beneath the tree. As soon as Billy sat beside him, Sean pulled
him close. Now, with Katie safely in
the house, he could give Billy the kiss he wanted to give him. It started out as a barely perceptible brush
of the lips, and then eased slowly into something deeper. Sean refused to break it until he felt it
from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. He felt Billy�s shoe moving against his ankle and knew Billy�s
toes were curling inside those God awful battered trainers. Finally, feeling that drug-like rush that
came with their special kiss and certain Billy was lost in the rush as well, he
drew away.

He loved looking at Billy when he had been kissed
right and proper. Billy seemed to be
drifting, anchored to the earth only by Sean�s arms. His upturned face awash with emotion, his lips swollen and wet,
Billy glowed in Sean�s arms like coals banked in their fireplace. An errant breeze stirred. The apple blossoms filled the air with sweetness,
and a line of Shakespeare sprang to mind: Of the
chameleon�s dish I eat; the air, promise crammed. Petals fell gently from the apple tree,
brushing their faces and collecting on their shoulders and at their feet. There must have been something about the
construction of the garden wall and nearness of the house beneath the apple
tree, because when the breeze grew stronger, the petals swirled about them like
the autumnal leaves had done. They
stood; spread their arms to feel the petals brush their hands, faces upturned. Sean looked at Billy, standing there in that
vortex of tiny petals, and again thought of him as some beautiful, ageless and
immortal creature straight out of Scottish myth.

Pulling Billy close once more, he claimed that
wonderfully kissable mouth again, feeling Billy heat up in his arms, filled
with passion, with love and with fierce vitality. Billy was the pulse of Sean�s lifeblood, somehow able to renew
and revitalize Sean, to fill him with life again and again, ever his own. And wasn�t that just as it should be? After all, he had an angel in his arms, in
his life, somehow present even when he went away, ever the fountain of life
from which Sean must drink or surely die: Ever giving, ever hungry for Sean,
ever adoring, ever his own, ever renewing, and most of all, ever his Constant
Billy.
finis
- 8
- 9
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Constant Billy