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Secrets	By : Khylea Category: Lord of the Rings Movies > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1800 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Secrets
- 1
Title: Secrets
Author: Khylea
Rating: NC-17 for incest and rape
Pairing: Twincest (Elrond's sons, for those not familiar with the term.)
Warning: Rape and incest. If you don't like this, go away. If you read it in spite of the
warnings, and flame me because you hated it, I will send Glorfindel after you with his
good friend the Balrog....and you KNOW what happened to him when he got on the bad
side of a Balrog!
Timeline: Sometime late in the third age. Exact date is not critical, except it is between
the time Celebrian sailed and Aragorn came to live in Imladris.
Archive: Feel free, just drop me a URL where I can visit it please
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, J.R.R. Tolkien does, and I'm sure he would
be horrified if he read this. I am making no profit, and am probably setting myself up for
flames galore, but I don't care. When the plot bunny speaks, I listen. :-)
Feedback: Please. First time writing Darkfic! Don't know how I did. :-)
Beta: Manon. Thanks, hon!
Summary: When Elrohir begins having nightmares of being violated by his brother, he
wants to believe they are nothing more than an overactive imagination. But are they? Or
are there some things his father has kept hidden about Elladan for years? Please
continue reading, the ending is not quite what you would expect.
Dedication: For Anais, who keeps me writing. :)
Author's Notes: Okay, as stated in the warnings, this fic covers some fairly dark territory,
including rape. (Elrohir is raped, FYI.) As I usually write silly, fluffy stories like "Icicle
Cream", I have NO idea what possessed me to write this. Thanks to Orchyd for help
with names, Anais for encouragement, and Vesta for help with the title. Last chance to
turn back. As stated above, this covers rape and incest. Anyone who proceeds beyond
this point and then flames me will have their flames used to power the Balrog I will send
after you. Words enclosed in asterisks, *like this* are a character's thoughts. Words
enclosed in slashes //like this// are farspeaking thoughts.

Elrohir shivered as heated lips moved over his body, kissing, sucking, licking his most
tender areas. His eyes closed of their own accord, but then opened, wanting to see his
lover. The stormy grey eyes of his twin met his as he stared down at the raven-haired
elf licking his stomach. "Mine," his twin said, gently nipping on his stomach. "Mine
forever." Elrohir shivered again at the intensity in Elladan's eyes, arching up into the
gentle touch when a hand closed around his throbbing arousal.
"Yes....." he whispered, spreading his legs wantonly, begging for his brother's touch.
"....yours...." He gasped when he was suddenly tossed onto his stomach, the gentle,
loving touches becoming hard, demanding, and painful. "....hurts...." he gasped, trying to
push his suddenly demanding twin off.
"Quiet!" his brother hissed into his ear, spreading his legs and shoving a finger inside
his tight opening. "Mine, remember!"
Elrohir squirmed at the intrusion, automatically clenching against the pain. "El...." He
tried to fight, but was securely pinned to the ground. Another finger entered him and he
moaned softly at the hot burning as his tender passage was torn. "Please....no....."
"Mine! Mine forever, brother!" his twin hissed, and Elrohir suddenly screamed in pain
when he was roughly yanked to his knees and slammed into hard. He bucked against
the intrusion, trying to throw his brother off, but his hands were securely held against his
hips. He arched his back, trying to squirm away, spitting out dirt and leaves as the new
position caused his face to be shoved into the ground.
"El! You are hurting me! Stop! Please!!! Stop!!" He hated the hot tears that coursed
down his cheeks at every brutal thrust inside of him, but could do nothing to stop them.
He managed to free one hand and blindly flung it behind him, hearing a soft "oof" as his
flailing hand contacted his brother's stomach. He gasped, his head reeling, as a hard
blow knocked him nearly unconscious. His head again dropped against the ground as
he fought to remain coherent. The thrusts were coming harder and faster and he could
tell his twin had nearly reached his climax. With a last hard stroke, he was filled with his
brother's seed, hearing the loud moans of ecstasy above him as his twin found his
release.
A sudden weight against his back as his brother collapsed on him shoved him to the
ground and he curled up within himself, sobbing. His own unresolved need sent hard
shudders of agony through his body, competing with the burning pain from his bruised
opening. His brother gathered him into his arms, gently kissing his neck, his shoulders,
wiping away his tears. "Why do you cry, brother? Have I not told you this is how it will
be? Mine, remember? Mine forever. Mine....."
"No! No! No more!" He writhed, trying to get away from the suffocating grip, screaming
in agony when three fingers were shoved into his already bleeding passage, a hand
gripping his throbbing arousal. "No!!!"
************************
"NO!! STOP!! NO!!!" Elrohir thrashed on the bed, trying to shove off his twin, who was
nestled against his back, gently caressing his buttocks.
"Shhhh. Relax, Elrohir....just me, love...." Elladan whispered into his twin's ear, licking
and gently nipping on the flesh.
"NO!!!!" Elrohir's arms flailed, his eyes open and unseeing and Elladan realized he was
having another nightmare. He had been having them almost every night for the past
week and they were always the same, being assaulted by the person he most thought
he could trust. It tore at Elladan's heart to think of his lover experiencing such pain night
after night after night.
"Elrohir! Wake up!" He gently shook his brother, ducking a blow when Elrohir attempted
to hit him once again. "Wake up!" Suddenly Elrohir's eyes focused, staring at his
brother. Elladan nearly cried at the pain, the confusion in those clear grey orbs and
gently kissed his brother's forehead. "Easy, love....it is over now. Easy...."
He gasped when Elrohir suddenly shoved him to the other side of the bed. "Get away
from me!" he snapped with sudden violence, then curled up into himself, sobbing, and
Elladan was at a loss as to what to do. After a moment, he moved closer and laid a
gentle hand on Elrohir's back. His twin flinched but did not push him away again.
"Was it the same?" Elladan asked softly, feeling a rush of sadness when his brother
nodded. He started making slow, soothing circles on Elrohir's back, and when his
brother did not push him away again, pulled him into his arms, holding him gently,
stroking his sweat-damp hair. "You know I would never hurt you in such a way, brother."
"Do I?" Elrohir snapped, causing his brother to flinch. "How do I?"
"Have I ever?" Elladan said soothingly. "Have I ever done anything that was not what
you desired as well?" Elrohir said nothing. "Have I ever hurt you? Humiliated you? Made
you feel as if you were not the most important thing in my life? Have I?"
"No." Elrohir said softly.
"No. And I never will, love. I could no more hurt you than cut off my own arm. It would
pain me no less."
"But then why do I keep having these dreams?"
Elladan pulled him closer, the sadness growing in him at feeling the shivers of fear
wracking his brother's body. "Who can understand dreams? Even father would tell you
that sometimes a dream is just a dream." He paused for a moment, then smiled.
"Remember when I had that dream about wearing Arwen's dress on patrol?" Elrohir
nodded, snickering slightly. "Did that mean that I wanted to wear Arwen's clothing? Or
that it would ever happen? No. It was just a silly image that my mind conjured up. And
you dreaming of me hurting you does not mean I want to, or that it will ever happen.
Your mind very easily could have combined us loving each other with unrelated
violence, say from an Orc attack." He gently kissed the top of Elrohir's head. "I would
never hurt you, love. Never."
Elrohir nodded and Elladan smiled, seeing his brother's obvious arousal and hoping this
time Elrohir would allow him to take care of it. Running his hand down his brother's
chest, gently caressing his nipples, he frowned when his hand was pushed away. "Not
right now, please." Elladan pulled away with a frown.
"Alright." He sighed softly, unhappy that Elrohir had not allowed himself to be soothed,
but understanding the reason for it.
They dressed side by side in silence, and though nothing further was said, it was clear
the dream was still affecting them. Though he had tried to reassure his twin, Elladan
knew he was not entirely convinced it could never happen. And if he was totally honest
with himself, he was not completely sure either. If it had happened once, or even twice,
he may have been able to shrug it off as coincidence, but some part of him wondered if
there was some grain of truth to it. Would he hurt Elrohir in some way? Possibly through
some type of mind control or drug? He decided he had to talk with his father. Elrond
would know. Elrond knew everything.
**************************
Elrond was sitting in his office, going through the stack of scrolls on his desk when his
oldest son entered. He was surprised; normally Elladan spent every free minute outside
with Glorfindel and had to practically be dragged inside for his lessons.

Elladan stopped just inside the door and waited until he was acknowledged. Elrond set
down the scroll he was working on and motioned his son to a chair next to his desk,
waiting for him to speak.
"Elladan?" he finally prompted when the younger elf made no move to speak.
"Father?" He hesitated, not sure how to bring it up. "Dreams....do they always have
meaning?"
Elrond frowned. Elrohir was the thoughtful one, always talking about thoughts and
feelings and dreams. Why was Elladan coming to him now? "No, not always.
Sometimes the mind combines unrelated events together."
"But what if it is a recurrent dream? Would the mind combine the same things together
the same ways to give someone the same dream over and over?"
Elrond frowned, contemplating. "Unlikely. But I suppose it could be possible. Why do
you ask?"
Elladan played with a loose thread on his tunic, not meeting his father's eyes. "Elrohir...."
he said softly. "....he has been having dreams of....of me assaulting him, violating
him...." He stopped and looked up at Elrond when the older elf gasped, his eyes
widening. "I would never hurt him in such a way, Ada. He must know that." Elrond barely
seemed to hear him, his eyes wide in fear, his face pale as all the blood drained from it.
"Ada?"
"Tell me about these dreams, Elladan. What happens in them?" he demanded.
Elladan shrugged. "He says I am holding him, that I am gentle at first, giving him
pleasure, but then I grow rough and demanding, I take him before he is ready....I...." He
swallowed hard. "I....I hurt him, I make him bleed."
"What do you say to him in the dream?"
"I say he is mine. That he will always be mine; that I will not allow anyone else to ever
have him. But Ada, I would never say that to him. I have told him he is mine, but I am
his as well. We belong to each other. I do not, nor do I care to, possess him in such a
way. And were he to find another he loved more than me, I would not stand in the way
of his happiness. But these dreams....they are causing problems for us. He will not even
let me touch him. We have not made love in over a week."
Elrond nodded, but his eyes were still wide and he looked almost frightened. He stared
at his son for a long time, seemingly in a trance. "Ada?" Elladan prompted, causing
Elrond to shake his head. "What does this mean?"
"I am not sure, Elladan. But I do not think it indicates a wish to harm him. And in time, I
believe he will remember that as well. Go now, go get your breakfast. I will talk with him
later."
Elladan was unhappy with his father's answer but could see the discussion was closed.
He nodded, rising from the chair and leaning forward to kiss Elrond's forehead. "Thank
you, Ada." Elrond nodded and smiled, and Elladan turned and strode from the room. As
soon as his son had left the room, Elrond's smile dropped, and the worried, frightened
look returned.
Erestor appeared from the library where he had been finding a book for Elrond. "What
was that all about?" he asked, setting the book on the desk.

"Elrohir is beginning to remember, mellonen." Elrond said softly. "He is beginning to
remember...."
Part 2
Elladan moved through the rest of the day in a haze, haunted by the look of anger and
utter terror on his twin's face as he woke from the nightmare, and troubled by his
father's reaction. Elrond was seldom so evasive, so dismissive. Elladan would have
liked to attribute it to having caught Elrond at a bad time. Perhaps his thoughts were
elsewhere. But a part of him refused to believe it. Even when his thoughts were
otherwise occupied, he always had time for his children. Elladan could not shake the
feeling his father was hiding something, that he knew more than he was letting on. He
completed his exercises with Glorfindel clearly distracted but, to his surprise, the warrior
made no recriminations toward his lack of effort and was strangely subdued. His usual
boisterous personality and bawdy jokes were conspicuously absent, and several times
Elladan caught him staring. The elder twin decided he did not want to eat with the others
and took some meat and cheese to a quiet spot near one of the many waterfalls in
Imladris.
For a long time he sat there, staring into the water long after his meal was consumed.
After how he had reacted that morning, Elladan was afraid to face his twin, but finally
could put it off no longer and returned to their room, walking slowly.
He opened the door carefully, not wanting to disturb Elrohir if he was resting or busy
with something. But the sight that greeted him was the last thing he would have
expected. All of the drawers in the room were open, and Elrohir was busily removing his
clothing from them, laying his tunics and leggings in a neat pile on the bed.
Elladan watched his twin for a moment before speaking. "Elrohir? What are you doing?"
He looked up, staring at his brother for a moment before looking away again.
"Moving to one of the guest rooms, Elladan." He refused to look at his twin, continuing
to pile his clothes on the bed. Elladan moved closer, grasping his wrist and stopping his
actions.
"But Elrohir....we....we have never been apart. Why?"
"I just....I need some space, brother. Please....I need some time away from you right
now."
Elladan felt as if a sword had been plunged into his heart. Even as infants, they had felt
their connection to each other and had cried if one had to be taken away. They had
seldom been apart for more than a few hours growing up, and had continued sleeping in
the same bed even when they had outgrown their childhood fears. When they reached
majority, they had begun exploring each other's bodies, and no one had thought it
strange when they had declared their love, their bond to each other.
"But Elro...."
"No...." his twin interrupted. "Please....just....just let me be," he said quietly, barely
holding back a sob.
"Do you not love me any longer?" Elladan asked in desperation.
"I do love you, brother. I will always love you, you must know that. I just need some time
away, some time to clear my thoughts, to think on this." He looked at Elladan for a
moment before continuing. "I feel as if there is something else going on besides a simple
nightmare. And you cannot tell me you feel no different. I know how you think."
Elladan nodded mutely. "I talked to father today, explained what was going on, asked for
his advice. He was strangely evasive and dismissive. It was not like him at all."
Elrohir frowned. "No, that is not like him. You feel as if he knows something he is not
telling us?"
"Yes. But you know father; if he is not ready to talk, he will not."
Elrohir nodded, gathering up his clothing. Both brothers fidgeted, not wanting to leave it
like this, but neither knowing what to say. "Well, I better go," Elrohir finally said, walking
slowly toward the door. "I want to get everything arranged before bed."
Elladan nodded, fighting back tears. He still could barely believe his brother was doing
this. "You know where to find me," he said softly, and Elrohir nodded.
"I know." He did not meet his brother's eyes. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." With a quick nod, Elrohir strode quickly from the room and his twin finally
allowed the tears of helplessness and anger to fall. He sat down heavily on the edge of
the bed and dropped his head into his hands, sobbing.
Part 3
"Do you really think it is a good idea to send them to Lórien right now, Elrond?" Erestor
asked, looking over the lip of his wine glass at the half-elf. "They have not shared a
room in close to a week, and have barely spoken in that time."
Elrond gazed at the deep red wine in his glass, running his fingertips along the rim. "Is
Elrohir still having the nightmares?"
"Yes. I heard him last night, screaming."
Elrond flinched, wondering for the hundredth time if he had done the right thing. Erestor
was staring at him closely, clearly able to see what his lord was thinking.
"You did make the right choice, Elrond. You know as well as I do Elrohir would have
faded. You saw how close he was to already doing that when we found them together.
He wanted to die. He had such hatred for his brother, such loathing for himself for being
caught off guard that he was already letting go of life. You did what was required to save
his life."
"But Elladan...."
"Elladan had to forget as well, Elrond. His anger would have consumed him." He moved
closer, laying a hand on Elrond's shoulder, waiting until the half-elf met his eyes. "You
did what you had to, Elrond. To save both their lives and, no less important, to save
their relationship. No one would fault you for that, least of all your sons." He took
another sip of his wine. "But you never answered my question. Do you think this is the
right time to send them to Lórien?"
Elrond nodded. "Arwen has expressed a desire to return to Imladris for a visit. And I am
hopeful Galadriel may be able to help Elrohir. I thought my skills would be enough, but
the fact he is remembering indicates they are not. Clearly he needs the strengthening
power of Nenya."
"Will they go? The few times I see them together they do not even speak."
Elrond took a deep breath. "To ensure Arwen's safety on the return trip, I believe I can
convince them." He stood and, setting the glass on the table, graced Erestor with a
small smile. "As always, your advice is treasured, counselor."
Erestor bowed slightly from the neck. "Always a pleasure, my lord." Elrond nodded and,
with a swish of robes, was gone.
*********************
Elrohir sat on his horse, fidgeting, while his brother readied the last of the supplies in his
saddlebags. He had managed to avoid Elladan for the last week and found, surprisingly,
that the distance, rather than being painful like he had thought it would be, was actually
very comforting. His loathing for his brother had grown more and more with each
nightmare, and he was at the point where he could not even stand to be in the same
room with him. He was not looking forward at all to spending the entire trip to Lórien
alone with Elladan, but his father knew just which of his heartstrings to pull to convince
him. Though she was long since past her majority, Arwen was still looked upon as the
baby of the family, and Elrond knew he would never refuse a request to escort her
safely home.
He looked at his brother and sighed. That did not mean he had to like it.
Shortly they were off, heading down the long road toward Lórien. In spite of his initial
reluctance to leave, Elrohir found he was looking forward to the trip, to seeing his
grandparents again. Spring had come early that year, and the day was warm, the birds
singing, the air filled with the sweet scents of blooming flowers. He closed his eyes and
tilted his head up toward the sky, feeling the sun's warm rays on his face. Elladan tried
to speak to him several times, but when he refused to answer, finally gave up, riding
instead in a brooding silence. *Good riddance.* Elrohir thought to himself. *It seems the
more I hear his voice, the more I loathe it.* Each nightmare he had convinced him more
and more that there was something going on, or that something had gone on that Elrond
and Elladan were desperately trying to hide from him. He was not stupid; he had heard
the quickly broken off conversations when he entered a room, the way Glorfindel's and
Erestor's eyes carefully followed him when they thought he was not watching.
Something was most definitely going on, but he had not yet determined what.
They rode till dusk, then made a quick camp, laying their bedrolls out beside the fire.
They had a quick meal of lembas and water, then sat by the fire, staring at the flames
for hours. Finally, Elladan stood and, announcing he would take the first watch, strode
into the trees. Elrohir shrugged and lay down beside the fire, but sleep did not come. He
relieved his brother halfway through the night, and if the rustling he heard from beside
the fire was any indication, his twin did not sleep either.
They continued on in the same manner for several days, riding several horse lengths
away from each other, speaking as little as possible. Several times Elladan tried to start
a conversation, but when his efforts were rebuffed again and again and again, finally
stopped, determined to reach Lórien as quickly as possible so he would at least have
someone to talk to. Or more correctly, someone to listen to. He wondered if he would
even remember what his brother's voice sounded like, if it was not exactly like his own.

By the fifth day, Elladan had grown tired of lembas, and when they stopped an hour
before dusk, wanting to wait for better light to cross a large stream in their path,
announced he was going to do some hunting. Elrohir had shrugged, breaking off a piece
of lembas and sitting down close to the fire, staring into the flames. With an exasperated
sigh, Elladan grabbed his bow and stomped off into the forest.
As soon as he was sure his brother was gone, Elrohir let fall the tears he had held back
for the last couple days. It was clear to him his relationship with Elladan had soured,
possibly beyond the point of repair. And though he no longer took any pleasure in his
brother's presence, neither had he forgotten how much he once had ached to hear his
name whispered softly in lust, had longed to feel his brother's strong arms around him,
his hot arousal pressing into him, driving him insane with pleasure. But he supposed he
would never have that again.
Though initially he had quickly dismissed the possibility his brother ever could have
taken him against his will, now he could barely believe otherwise. The nightmares were
coming with increasing frequency, and oftentimes even during the day he would catch
glimpses of something, nearly forgotten, but not. He now felt the only reasonable
explanation was that the nightmares were not nightmares at all, but were resurfacing
memories. That at some point in the past, Elladan had violated him, and to keep him
from fading, his father had sealed his memories of the incident. But had Elladan's
memories also been sealed? Or was he just that good at hiding them? Elrohir supposed
it did not matter. Whether Elladan remembered or not, the fact remained that he had
taken his twin, had violated and hurt him. Elrohir could forgive many wrongs, but that,
that was unforgivable. He cared not what the situation was. That was inexcusable.
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he did not hear the barely audible rustling in the
bushes, nor sense a presence behind him until, quicker than he could react, a knife was
pressed to his neck, just under his chin. He stiffened, holding perfectly still, knowing
from what he had been taught by his father that the blade was pressing on the skin just
above his carotid artery. A quick slice into his neck and he would bleed to death in a few
minutes. "Move and I kill you, understand?" a voice hissed into his ear and he nodded
as much as he was able. "Hands behind your back." He quickly moved to comply,
feeling his hands quickly and securely tied. "On your stomach, face into the ground; look
up and I kill you." Elrohir swallowed hard, but obeyed. His feet were bound loosely
together and he felt a rope being tied between his hands and feet, suddenly realizing his
assailant must want him to walk. His feet were not tied tightly enough to prevent him
from walking, but would restrict him to short, mincing steps, not allowing him to run, or
even walk quickly. He shivered in fear as a hand stroked down his back, caressing and
gently squeezing his buttocks. "Now, on your feet."
Elrohir scrambled to his feet as quickly as his bonds would allow and turned to face his
assailant. His heart dropped into his feet as he saw who held him prisoner. "El?"
His twin grinned, the coldest, cruelest grin Elrohir had ever seen on his face. "Greetings,
brother. Now that we are alone, we can have some fun." Elrohir flinched as Elladan slid
a hand down his chest, coming to rest on his groin. He closed his eyes, trying to fight
down the rising panic. He had been right! He knew he should have trusted his instincts.
It had been a memory all along, a memory that for whatever reason, his father had
suppressed.
With a deep sigh, his twin pulled away. "But not here. I know a much better place."
"El, please...."
"Please what, dear brother?"
"Let me go. Please, do not do this again."
"And why should I not? This is what I desire. What I deserve, as payment for all those
times you refused me."
Elrohir wanted to protest that until recently, he had never refused his brother, but the
evil glint in Elladan's eyes, the way he turned the blade around and around in his hands,
as if itching to use it, convinced him it was better to keep his mouth shut. His brother
walked in a slow circle around him, admiring him from all angles, before stepping up
behind him and roughly shoving him in the back. Elrohir stumbled, nearly falling, before
getting used to the short steps he had to take.
They walked all through the night and half of the next day before reaching a large cave.
Elrohir had long since stopped contemplating trying to escape as his brother was never
more than a few steps away and watched him like a hawk. He could only hope Elladan's
guard would be let down for a bit once they reached their destination. He was roughly
shoved into the cave and lost his balance, falling hard to the floor, not able to catch
himself and hitting his head hard on the dirt floor. His head swam as he quickly blinked,
trying to remain conscious, petrified of being unconscious or asleep around his suddenly
mad brother.
Elladan sat down a few steps away and quickly had a fire going. He watched his brother
with hungry eyes, but made no move to come any closer. Elrohir's shivering was
continuous now as he wondered how long it would be until his twin would take him
again, violate him, tear him and make him bleed. He only hoped Mandos would take pity
on him and call his feä sooner rather than later. He wondered vaguely what had
happened to the loving, gentle Elladan he knew so well. Though they had their share of
ups and downs, as any relationship did, he had always felt the bond he had with his
brother was strong, their relationship deep and caring. Or was that only a facade? Was
that the reason his father had blocked his memories and it now appeared Elladan's as
well? Had he never truly known his brother? Was the sadistic monster who had violated
him the true Elladan and the gentle, loving elf he had known since then only a mask? A
mask that was now beginning to crack as his memories returned? It seemed that way,
and Elrohir could not decide who he was angrier with, his brother for treating him that
way, or his father for wanting to keep them together so desperately that he would do
anything to prevent a rift in their relationship. Even hide the sadistic nature of his elder
twin.
The day wore on, the cave darkening with night, but though he was exhausted, Elrohir
was too terrified to sleep. Part of him told him that even were he to remain awake, tied
up like he was, he would have little defense if his brother attacked anyway, but he
wanted to at least remain aware of his surroundings. The only thing worse than being
violated was being violated unaware.
Finally halfway through the night, his brother stood from his side of the fire and
approached Elrohir. The younger twin closed his eyes and shuddered in fear as he was
pushed onto his back, a long dagger slicing through his tunic, cutting it off his body. His
leggings were next, and he shivered uncontrollably as the deadly sharp knife cut them
away from his shaft, fearful that at any moment the cut might go deeper. But the cuts
were careful to not injure him and shortly he lay, naked and shivering, at the feet of his
twin. Hands began to roam his body, gentle at first, then more demanding, touching,
caressing, pinching, then grabbing and slapping. He closed his eyes, refusing to let the
tears fall, refusing to let his brother see his weakness.
The hands were touching him intimately now, grasping his member, stroking it and, to
his great embarrassment and shame, bringing him to hardness. "Beautiful.....so so
beautiful." He heard a whisper above him and vaguely wondered why his twin would be
saying such things about him. They were identical after all, and Elladan had always
expressed dissatisfaction with his own body.
Elrohir was suddenly tossed onto his stomach, his tied hands wrenched behind his
back, and fought down the urge to scream. Again! It was happening again!! *Oh
father....why did you let this happen? Why? Why did you not tell me the truth?* He bit
his lip to keep from crying out as he felt himself penetrated, hard and fast and without
any lubrication or preparation. He gasped, feeling warm blood run down the insides of
his thighs, the hot, burning pain from inside his torn opening. Each thrust seemed to
push farther inside, tearing him more and more, and his mouth opened in a silent
scream. He determined he would not make a noise. Elladan may be able to violate him,
hurt him, perhaps even kill him, but he decided he would not give his brother the
satisfaction of hearing a single word uttered from his lips. Not a scream, not a moan, not
a plea for mercy.
He felt a hand reach around his waist, stroking his erection in time to the hard thrusts
into his body and clenched his eyes shut, trying to keep from climaxing. But his brother
knew just how to touch him, how to give him pleasure, and he could feel his release
quickly approaching. A few strokes later, Elladan reached his and slammed into his
brother hard one last time, groaning loudly in ecstasy, the warm liquid stinging the
already abused passage. A moment later, the hand on his shaft brought Elrohir to his
climax and he shot his release out onto the ground of the cave. He collapsed, sobbing,
to the cave floor, feeling the deep throbbing from within, the tears of shame and
humiliation hot on his cheeks, feeling his brother's weight on him as he too collapsed,
breathing hard.
For many minutes they lay like that, the only sound Elrohir's soft sobs and his brother's
harsh breathing. Finally the elder twin moved off his brother and lifted him up, setting
him against the cave wall, gently pushing his hair off his tear-streaked face. His
expression seemed almost gentle as he softly kissed Elrohir's lips. "You see, brother?"
he said, stroking Elrohir's flushed face ever so gently, carefully wiping his tears away.
"Did I not tell you that you were mine? Mine forever?" His hand moved higher, gently
combing through the dark brown hair, softly smoothing out Elrohir's tangles. "No one will
keep us apart. No one, do you hear me?"
Elrohir continued softly sobbing, hoping his pleas to Mandos were not going unheeded.
*Soon...soon I will be there.* He stared into his brother's eyes, barely able to see the
grey orbs, so like his own, through the haze of his tears. "Why? Why did you do this to
me again? Why?"
"Why? Because I could. Because you are mine. You will always be mine, Elrohir.
Always. Even in death you will be mine. Even Mandos would not separate us. We were
meant to be."
"But El...there is no need to force me. You know I would have given myself to you
willingly. All you would have had to do is ask." He tried to keep his brother talking,
hoping that if he was talking, at least he wasn't hurting him again.
His twin sneered at him. "Ask? Oh, dear brother, I did ask. Many times. I asked, I
pleaded, I begged. But always you turned me down. Always."
Elrohir shook his head in confusion. He could not remember a time when he had
refused his brother. Not once. But then, perhaps those memories had been suppressed
as well. "Perhaps we can learn from our mistakes, El," he said softly, trying another
tactic. "If you release me, I promise you can have me. I will be yours, you can have me
anytime you would like. Just please do not hurt me again."
His brother sneered again, his eyes growing even colder. "And what does a promise
from you mean? About as much as one from father. He said he would not stand in the
way of our relationship. But that changed, dear brother. He began forbidding me to be
with you, forbidding me to even come near you or touch you. What right did he have to
dictate who I love? Who died and made him a Vala?" He was shouting by now and
Elrohir cringed, desperately searching his memory for any remembrance of what his twin
was talking about, but coming up empty. If he was speaking the truth, the memories
were still securely suppressed. But his brother's ranting was making him more and more
frightened. Is this how he had always looked at their father? Had he always hidden this
loathing for him? Or had the memories of his hatred for his father been suppressed as
well? "What gives him the right to dictate what his children can do? He has no right! No
right to deny me the love of the one my heart has chosen. NO RIGHT!!!" He screamed,
bringing his hand back and viciously slapping Elrohir upside the head. The younger
twin's head swam in a haze of pain and fear, and when his brother brought his hand
back again, spoke in desperation.
"El, please, no! ELLADAN!!!"
The older twin's hand suddenly stopped, frozen in mid air as his eyes went wide, staring
at his brother. "Elladan?" he questioned, clearly confused. Elrohir thought his tone may
have reached his brother and took the opportunity to try again.
"Elladan, please. There is no need for further violence. Let us go back to Rivendell.
Father can help us both. Please."
"Elladan?" he questioned again, his confused stare quickly changing into a cold sneer.
"Elladan....ah, I see." Elrohir shook his head, more confused than his brother had just
looked. What was he doing? Why was he questioning his name like this? Had he
completely lost his mind?
"El? What is it? What is wrong?"
The elder twin grinned, lowering his hand. "You thought I was Elladan. That explains it.
That explains everything."
Elrohir shook his head again. "What do you mean, I thought you were Elladan. What are
you talking about? You ARE Elladan."
The other shook his head, baring his teeth. "You truly do not remember, do you? I
suspected father might try to erase your memory, but I had no idea he would be able to
do such a good job of it."
"El? What are you talking about? What is going on?" He shivered as his brother moved
closer, laying a hand on his forehead.
"You will see. Just relax. You will see." Elrohir gasped as images suddenly filled his
mind, laughing as he ran in a shallow stream, riding his horse, suckling on his mother's
breast, his father's proud smile as he took his first step. The images were all out of
order and he struggled to make sense of them. But suddenly he saw something that
made him feel as if he had been kicked in the stomach. He was running across a field,
racing someone, and was clearly winning. He looked behind him and saw not one, but
two Elladan's. But not two, he realized. Though they physically looked identical, their
expressions were as different as night and day. One was laughing and encouraging him,
clearly happy to see him pull ahead, the other was scowling, his grey eyes dark and
stormy with hatred. Other images began to make their way into his mind, sparring with
Glorfindel, in the library with Erestor, in the healing rooms with his father. And in every
memory, he saw two identical elves, one smiling and happy, the one he always went to,
the other angrily watching from the sidelines, his grey eyes flashing in anger. A name
suddenly came into his mind. A name he had not heard in centuries. Elfaron. His
brother. The third of three identical brothers. The third of triplets.
Part 4
Elrohir looked up into his brother's eyes. Now that Elfaron had released the memory
block his father had put in place, the memories came rushing back to him faster than he
could deal with. But he did not need to make sense of every image to know what had
happened. He remembered now. He and Elladan were not twins. He, Elladan and
Elfaron were triplets. He remembered now hearing his father and mother talking when
he was just an elfling, when they thought he was asleep. His parents had wanted twin
boys, but through some evil craft, Sauron had been able to pervert his mother's body
and push his evil essence into her. Instead of his mother conceiving the twins they had
wished for, Sauron had poisoned her body, forced it to produce triplets instead, knowing
Elrond would only be able to protect two sons from the evil. Though Elfaron was of the
same flesh and blood as Elrohir and Elladan, his feä was tainted with Sauron's evil.
He remembered now. Remembered a gentle, thoughtful elfling who had turned more
and more violent and hateful as he grew, who had become more and more resentful of
the developing relationship between the two younger triplets. Remembered Elfaron
secretly tormenting him when there was no one around to see, then blaming it on
Elladan. Remembered his brother luring him to the river one day and taking him,
violating him as he had just done. Elrond coming upon the scene and pulling him off his
youngest, cradling Elrohir against his chest and gently holding his sobbing son while
Glorfindel took the eldest triplet away to await judgement. And yes, he remembered
beginning to fade, even Elladan's love not being enough to make him want to stay.
Hearing his father and mother talk long into the night, his mother arguing against
suppressing his memories, his father warning her that it was the only way to save his
life.
Elfaron had been sent to Lórien, he remembered. Elrond had hoped the Lady Galadriel
might be able to drive out the darkness in his feä. But Elrohir realized now it had clearly
not worked. He must have escaped and waited on the road between Lórien and
Imladris, knowing it was only a matter of time until Elladan and Elrohir would make the
journey to visit their grandparents and sister. And it would only be a matter of time until
he would catch Elrohir alone and would be able to do what he had just done.
Elrohir suddenly realized the meaning behind his nightmares. He had been right in that
they were memories, but memories of Elfaron violating him, not Elladan like he had
thought. His heart broke at how cruel he had been to his brother, automatically
assuming he had been the cause of his pain, never stopping to think how his father
would never hide a violent side from him if Elladan did indeed have one. Now that his
memory had completely returned, he searched for any hint of violence in his relationship
with Elladan, but came up empty. He found only love and respect and gentleness.
Elladan had never hurt him, and never would hurt him. Elladan loved him.
His heart, which already felt as if it had broken from being violated, now felt as if it was
being torn to shreds. Even were he to escape from his sadistic oldest brother, his
relationship with Elladan was over. He could never repair the damage he had done by
assuming it had been Elladan who hurt him. Never. He felt his feä begin to fade as he
thought back to what he had done.
Elfaron was watching him with a smirk as his memories resurfaced. "Remember me
now, Elrohir? Remember how you denied me? All I wanted was to love you, to be with
you, but you rejected me. Both of you. You rejected me, excluded me, talked about me
behind my back. Everyone rejected me, father, mother, Glorfindel, Erestor, even
grandmother and grandfather hated me."
Elrohir nodded, deciding it was probably best to avoid pointing out that the reason
Elfaron had been rejected was because of his hateful, jealous, violent nature. It was not
known at the time but was discovered after he had been sent to Lórien that he had killed
Elladan's horse with his bare hands; the mare still bore the marks on her neck where he
had strangled her to death. Why she had not kicked him off no one knew, but the clasp
from his cloak had been found near her feet when her body was discovered in the far
meadow several days after he was sent away. *And now I am alone with him.* Elrohir
fought down a shiver, deciding it was probably best to stay as calm as possible, hoping
it would encourage Elfaron to stay the same way. He knew Elladan would be tracking
them and doubted if it would be more than a few more hours until his twin....his brother,
he corrected himself....would arrive. And he would know Elrohir would not just wander
off without letting him know. Elladan would suspect foul play and would approach the
cave cautiously, ready for a trap.
"Yes." Elrohir finally spoke. "I remember now....Elfaron...." Elfaron grinned, the coldest
grin Elrohir had ever seen on an elven face, hatred dancing in his eyes.
"If you remember me, then you remember that I do not easily give up when I have what I
want." He stepped closer, kneeling down and running a hand down Elrohir's naked
chest. "And what I want is you." His smile dropped. "And I know what you are thinking. I
may not have the connection that you have with him, but I know how you think. You are
thinking Elladan is coming. That he will rescue you and take you back to Imladris." He
nodded slowly. "I know he is coming. In fact, I am counting on it. Why do you think I
brought you here? I have been waiting for this day for a long time. Since the day I was
banished from my rightful home, from my family." He pointed at the entrance of the
cave, where there were several branches lying across the narrow opening. "Did you not
wonder why I made sure you walked around those branches when we entered here?
They are not just branches lying on the ground, as they appear to be." He slowly stroked
Elrohir's hair, causing the youngest triplet to shiver in fear. "I have dug an elf sized hole
and placed a spear in the bottom, point up. When your dear brother steps on the
branches, he will fall into the hole, spearing himself, and suddenly....no more Elladan."
His hand again traveled lower, caressing Elrohir's chest, pinching his nipple. "And then
we will go away, just the two of us. To someplace we can be alone and I can have you
as often as I wish." He stood and went to his bag, pulling out a long strip of cloth and
wadding it up, stuffed it into Elrohir's mouth, tying it in place with another strip. "And
since I suspect he will be here soon, I cannot risk you warning him about the trap." He
produced another long length of rope and jerked Elrohir's legs up until they were
touching his bound hands, wrapping it around several times until Elrohir could not move
at all. He squirmed against the bonds, but they were tight. Finally Elfaron moved away,
sitting down on the other side of the fire and staring into the flames, ignoring his
prisoner's pleading looks.
Several hours passed while Elrohir squirmed in his bonds, trying to loosen them at least
enough to allow some relief to his aching limbs. Surprisingly Elfaron ignored him, his
gaze wandering between the fire, which he kept low, barely more than coals, and the
entrance to the cave. Elrohir could see the trap he had spoken of, and though the
natural entrance to the cave was nearly twenty feet wide, rocks and trees had been
cleverly placed across the edges, making it appear much narrower. The existing
opening was only a few feet wide, and the trap covered most of that. Only by pressing
against the large rocks in the entrance could a person avoid falling into the trap, and
Elrohir knew his brother would have no reason to do that. The branches lay flat across
the top of the hole, and even knowing it was a trap, Elrohir could not see anything that
looked like any more than just a couple branches that had fallen onto the ground. There
would be no reason to sidestep them, and his heart ached at thinking about seeing
Elladan dead in the pit, his body pierced by a spear. Now that he had finally
remembered his brother's undying love for him, he was going to lose him. Lose him
forever. Elrohir closed his eyes and relaxed, no longer fighting the darkness he could
feel pressing on his feä. If living meant living without Elladan, his heart and soul, the one
he wanted to bond with, he would as soon die.
He sighed in contentment as he felt his feä leaving his body. The violation had been
almost enough to send him to Mandos; the thought of losing his beloved
twin....triplet....brother....had done the rest. He barely registered the sound of a loud
crash, a shriek of pain, and closed his eyes, knowing his brother was dead. The trap
had been sprung. He was vaguely aware of Elfaron getting to his feet and moving to the
entrance of the trap, to gloat over his kill, but when he heard the sound of sword hitting
sword, his eyes suddenly snapped open. He lifted his head, seeing two identical shapes
desperately fighting just inside the entrance to the cave. His fuzzy mind suddenly
registered what was going on. Elladan had not fallen into the trap after all. He had
thrown something else in and had screamed in pain as if injured, drawing Elfaron out of
the cave. He was not dead after all. Elrohir's eyes widened in shock and fought for all he
was worth against his bonds, feeling the ropes cut into his wrists and make them bleed,
but not caring.
The two brothers fought madly at the entrance to the cave, their skills equal, neither
able to gain the upper hand on the other. Elrohir's desperate struggles to free himself
were not working, and he did the only thing he could think to do. Rolling to his other
side, the only motion he was capable of, he shoved his bound hands into the fire,
praying the rope would burn away quicker than his flesh. It was all he could do to keep
his hands in the fire, feeling the excruciating pain as his hands blistered and burned.
With a sudden snap, the rope broke and he pulled it off his hands before reaching down
to untie his feet, his adrenaline causing the pain from the burns to be pushed into a back
corner of his mind, where he could deal with it later.
Elfaron had left his bow and arrows next to the fire, assuming his prisoner would not
have a chance to use them, and Elrohir picked them up, notching an arrow to the bow
and sighting in on the two brothers. But he did not fire. Elfaron was wearing the same
colors as Elladan, and in the dim light of the cave, Elrohir could not tell them apart. He
stared into their eyes, hoping to see the cold hatred in Elfaron, but both brothers had the
same intense, cold battle stare. Whichever brother was Elladan, his expression, cold
and full of hatred, was the same as Elfaron's.
With a quick motion, one of them was disarmed and taken to the ground, the victor
kneeling on his arms, pinning him down. Elrohir's hands shook as he tried to decide who
was who. Would Elladan have won the fight? But Elfaron was the elder, and had been
on his own for who knows how long. Would his skills have been more tested? But
Elladan had always been stronger. Would he be able to defeat even a more skilled
opponent? Elrohir stared into the victor's eyes so hard his head began to swim, hoping
to see some hint of Elladan's gentle spirit. But all he saw was cold hatred, and he could
not know if it was Elfaron's hatred he saw, or Elladan's anger turned to hatred at how his
brother, his lover, had been treated. The victor had his sword raised high over his head,
ready to plunge it into the loser's chest, to finish him off once and for all, and still Elrohir
hesitated. How could he decide? Elfaron would no doubt kill Elladan, but neither would
Elladan hesitate to end his brother's life. If Elrohir decided wrong, not only would he kill
his soulmate, he would be the prisoner of his sadistic elder brother.
Suddenly he shook his head, feeling a strange tickle in his mind. //Elrohir! Help me,
brother! Please!// He shook his head again, recognizing the touch of his brother's mind.
He had only farspoken with Elladan once, and with their father's help, but Elladan's mind
feel was unmistakable. Realizing he had no time to question the silent plea, he released
the arrow into the chest of the victor, killing him instantly, praying to the Valar that
Elladan would have only asked for help if he was the one pinned.
Elrohir grabbed another arrow and aimed it at the now released half-elf, ready to shoot
him as well if he had guessed wrong. If he had mistakenly killed Elladan, he would at
least kill Elfaron as well and then allow himself to fade. If Mandos took pity on them,
perhaps he would allow them to be together again in death.
His brother pushed the body off him and stood slowly, clearly exhausted from the long
fight. He saw his brother aiming the arrow at him and instantly knew what Elrohir was
thinking. "It is me, Elrohir," he said gently and soothingly. He saw the blood on his
brother's thighs, the defeated, fearful look in his eyes and instantly knew what had
happened. Though Elfaron had not intended it, when he released Elrohir's memory,
Elladan's mind was so locked in on his brother, using his fear as a beacon to find him,
that the action had released his own mental block as well. He suddenly understood that
Elrohir's nightmares had indeed been memories and that he was not to blame for
causing his brother any pain. Now he only had to convince Elrohir of that.
Elrohir's back was stiff, but he was shaking in fear. "How do I know that?" he snapped.
//Because Elfaron cannot do this, love. Please....put the bow down, brother. You are
safe now.//
Elrohir suddenly sagged, dropping the bow to the ground, his legs weakening. He
dropped to his knees, his body shaking in relief and fear and exhaustion, his hands
throbbing in agony. Elladan moved closer, wrapping a gentle arm around his brother's
shoulders. Elrohir stiffened in fear, but Elladan refused to move away. He was still linked
with his brother and could feel his spirit leaving his body. *NO! I will not lose him now,
not after all this.*
//Elrohir....stay with me love....please....do not go where I cannot follow.// Elrohir looked
up, staring into his brother's eyes, tears filling his eyes and running down his cheeks.
//I cannot stay brother. I was violated....you know as well as I do that an elf cannot stay
if they are violated. Mother could not stay, I cannot either.//
//You can choose to stay, love. Please....do not leave me. I will follow you to the next
world if you do. I cannot bear to live without you.//
Elrohir shook his head sadly. //Please forgive me, brother. I know it was not you that
hurt me before. I do love you. I never stopped. Goodbye, dear brother. My
love....goodbye....//
Part 5
//NO!!!!!// Elladan screamed in his mind as he felt his brother's feä fleeing his body. He
tried to grasp it, tried to pull it back into his body, but it was like trying to hold sand, the
tighter he tried the hold on, the more it slipped through his fingers. Suddenly he felt
another presence, far more powerful than his own, gently grasping onto Elrohir's feä,
holding and supporting it, preventing him from leaving.
//Elladan! Elladan, hear me!//
Elladan gasped, suddenly realizing why the other presence felt familiar. It was his
father's. //Father! He was violated, he wants to die, please, save him! Block his memory
again, make him forget so he will want to stay.//
//I cannot, Elladan. His feä is too far gone for that. He would flee instantly if I tried.
Listen to me and do exactly as I say. I will hold onto him, I will prevent him from traveling
to Mandos.//
//Let me help, father, please!!//
//ELLADAN!!!!// Elladan flinched at the mental shout. //There is little time. Do not argue
with me. I will hold him, you must concentrate on loving him. Remind him of your love.
Think of every good time you have had together, all the love, the joy you have shared.
Do not think on the sad times, only the happy ones. I cannot block his memory again, it
would do too much damage to his feä. You must instead remind him of why he loves
you, of why he would choose to live. An elf can choose to live after they are violated if
they feel they have enough to live for.//
Elladan nodded, though he knew his father could not see him. //I will do as you ask,
father.// He closed his eyes and felt out with his mind for the unique feel of Elrohir's
mind. Once he had it, he thought on all the happy times they had shared, swimming in
the Bruinen, riding their horses, making love in the meadow, stealing pastries from the
kitchen, playing practical jokes on Erestor and Glorfindel. Over and over he pressed
those thoughts into Elrohir's mind, feeling the pull toward Mandos gradually relax, until
he could feel Elrond slowly pulling Elrohir back into his own body. With a start, Elladan
felt his brother jerk, as if suddenly falling, and his eyes suddenly opened. Though he still
was clearly in pain, the hopeless, agonized look was gone and he even managed to
smile at his brother.
"El?" Elladan asked softly. "Is that you?"
Elrohir nodded, reaching up a hand to caress his brother's cheek, ignoring the red,
blistered skin. "I....I wanted to go, brother. He....he hurt me so much, I wanted to go. I
heard Mandos calling me. His voice was so warm and soothing, so intoxicating. I
wanted so much to go to him. But then I felt father, and you. I....I could not leave, could
not leave you behind."
Elladan nodded through his tears. "I am glad. Because if you had gone, I would have
followed you. I cannot live without you ever again. Please....let me be with you again."
He removed his cloak and wrapped it around Elrohir's naked body, then pulled his twin
against his chest, holding him tightly, but then releasing him when he felt the tension in
his body.
"Brother, I....forgive me....I cannot...."
Elladan shook his head and quickly released him. "Of course not. You were hurt.
Terribly. It will take time to recover." As he spoke, he pulled off his tunic and ripped it
into long strips, gently bandaging his brother's hands.
"I....I do not know that I ever will, Elladan." He said softly, flinching at the pain. "After
what he did....again....I...." his voice trailed off and he suddenly slumped in his brother's
arms.

"You will, Elrohir. You are too strong to give up. It will take time, but you will. If you just
keep fighting. Will you do that? For me?" Elrohir looked frightened. "Just promise me
you will fight it. Fight the darkness in your feä. Drive it out, do not let it overcome you.
You will have anything you need from me, do you hear me? Anything."
"But El....I do not know if I will ever be able to make love again. I heard father's
thoughts, how he cannot block my memory again. How can I want that again after the
way I was used?"
Elladan shook his head. "I do not know, love. But I do know I will never desert you,
never. If you are ready to make love tomorrow, or if you never are ready again, makes
no difference to me. I love you for you. Not for your body, love. Not for your body." He
whispered, gently stroking Elrohir's cheek. "Will you stay? Stay for me?"
Elrohir stared at him for a long time, thinking back on all the images his brother had sent
him; all the good times they had together, all the love they had shared. He wanted that
back, he wanted it back so much he could taste it. He felt his father's presence in the
back of his mind, still gently supporting him, giving him strength, and reached out,
feeling a return wave of love so strong he thought his heart might burst. He thought on
Arwen and his grandparents and Erestor and Glorfindel. All his friends, his comrades. It
would be difficult to leave them, he knew. But his thoughts kept coming back to his
brother and he knew it would be impossible to leave him. After a long moment, he
nodded. "I will stay, brother. For you. My beloved twin.....triplet...." he stumbled, not
used to saying the unfamiliar word.
Elladan looked at the body of Elfaron, his gaze darkening, before looking back at the elf
cradled in his lap. "No, Elrohir. Not triplet. Twin. As far as the world knows, Elfaron
never existed. As far as the world knows, we are twins. The twin sons of Elrond. No one
need ever know."
Elrohir nodded, flinching only a little when Elladan leaned forward and ever so gently
kissed his lips. "Do not worry, brother. I will wait as long as it takes. I will be here
forever."
"Forever," Elrohir repeated. "Forever."
***********************
Epilogue: And that is how history remembers them. Not as two thirds of a triplet, but as
brothers, as twins, as lovers, as soulmates. In time, Elfaron's corrupting influence on his
youngest brother faded, and when the brothers finally decided to sail to the west, after
their sister and human foster brother had passed from the world, they did it together. For
the promises they made that day they kept. And they were together.
Forever.
END
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