Everything that we ever had

Beta: Ashlyn K. Toliver
Author's Notes: Aragorn and Éomer together are so hot that I just had to write these two little stories of them. And thank you so much for your excellent betaing, Ashlyn! Without you I was lost.

Summary: Aragorn and Èomer are very close friends. Do they have feelings beyond mere friendship? This one is Éomer’s side of their story.

EVERYTHING THAT WE EVER HAD

Éomer POV:


I watched helplessly as you directed your horse towards the pass where no one has ever returned. Forcing my face into a mask of calm stoicism, I assured the few men who muttered beneath their breath that Gondor once again deserts Rohan that yours is a different path and that we shall all meet again at Pelennor Fields.

Yes, on the outside speaks the Third Marshall of Rohan – supremely confident, ready to face the might of Sauron’s marauding hoards – but inside my soul is weeping, torn asunder with longing.

Because of you…because of me, of us.

It seemed only moments ago when we lay naked in each other’s arms, languidly loving as only men can; but when morning was nothing more than pale presentiment on the horizon, your thoughts already were far away from me, in a place I could not follow. Your body was still warm, still a solid comfort against mine, but your gaze wandered somewhere far away, and I felt that it would have been wrong of me to intrude. I was certain in my heart that I would never again see you alive; though you assured me with a robust kiss that should have dispelled all doubt that we would indeed meet again.

The only thing which led you to that road was the call which you would hear only once in your lifetime, and I couldn’t stop you from going towards your destiny. No, even if I was to tear my heart from my chest, to keep you safe and still mine. Yet I also knew that safety was an illusion while the fires in the East slowly consumed the whole of Middle Earth, and that my need of you, no matter how strong, was also a selfish one.

Only little while longer I wanted to be with you, to have hope on your love.

Your love gave me hope, when my own had disappeared long time ago.

*****************************************************************************************************

When you suddenly appeared from before me, when our gazes met the first time, I knew. Forever would be my fate bonded upon you, in good and bad, in light and shadow. Everything around you radiated power and greatness, but somewhere in dark corner of your gaze, was also grief, exhaustion and fear. For a long time those same feelings had been inside me too, tearing me.

We both knew that a great shadow threatened not only ourselves, but the world of men and that every moment was precious. The few moments of happiness we may have experienced were borrowed, but with you those moments were sweet and they would be enough to last the rest of my life. They had to be enough, because I knew that should we never meet each other in this world again, my beloved Aragorn, the memories would serve as my shelter.

Only few moments I could spend with you, and every single of them are burned with fiery letters in deepest corner of my soul, forever. Even now, when you are away, I could feel warmth of your body, your kisses, your voice, whispering words of love and desire in my ear.

Slowly I walked back to my tent, needing to be alone for a while. Soon, very soon I shall rise and ride towards my own destiny, whatever it shall be. But one last time, with fond reverie I’m reliving my every memory of you, to then bury them deep inside of me, until they are less painful to carry.

Once more I allow myself to remember, and to mourn.

*****************************************************************************************************

“We’ll go to Helm’s Deep. Would you ride with me on the morrow,” I quietly asked of you, silently cursing my shaky voice. How was it possible that I melted in front of you, even though I command the might of the Rohirrim and that my sword and shield can best the most powerful of enemies? No foul orc or those evil spawn of Isengard, the Uruk-hai could stand against me in battle.

But in front of you I’m trembling like an innocent young boy caught in the throes of his first taste of desire. From the moment I laid eyes upon you, so long ago on the craggy hills of Rohan, as you stood defiantly in the midst of a hostile circle comprised of pikes and lances, stoutly defending an elven prince and a dwarf, something within me resonated, made me want to know more.

Even then I knew you were a leader of men.

You smiled at me wearily but warmly. That smile causes my heart to pound and my soul to awaken, and I felt more alive than I ever believed possible.

It is not that I have never known the kindness of male companions, especially on long and lonely patrols where every bit of solace was welcome, being surrounded by so much death and destruction which was why I didn’t quite understand why it was you who made me feel as if I could never get enough of your presence.

“Of course,” you answered in a low tone, looking at me intently.

“Wherever you go, I will follow.”

Suddenly I felt a tremendous need to escape. You made me totally confused, and if I didn’t leave now, I would most certainly embarrass myself.

You placed your hand on my arm, interrupting my bid for good night. Your touch burns like fire and I cannot hide my flinch.

“Am I really so repulsive, Éomer”, you asked gently, and for a moment I was embarrassed and speechless. Embarrassed because you read the desire in my eyes and speechless because you shared it, something I hadn’t dared to hope.

I shook my head slowly. No matter what happened, I couldn’t let you believe that I find you disgusting. Every single moment could be our last, and I don’t want to be so worthless that I lied to you, even to save face.

“I want to be with you, alone”, you said to me softly, “but only if that is what you wish as well.”

I did not trust my voice, merely nodded.

We walked through the empty corridors, neither speaking, both of us it seemed lost in thought.

I opened the door to my chambers, almost ready to apologize for their lack of opulence. You had told me that much of your youth had been spent with the elves in Rivendell, so I could only imagine the luxury you’d been surrounded by. Here there are no silken sheets, no ornamental tapestries, and no gurgling fountains to lull one to sleep.

Once the door was locked behind us, you turned to me, and I felt the outside world disappearing far away.

And still we did not speak.

My own longing was mirrored deep within your grey eyes, and it was so powerful that it nearly made me to drop to my knees in worship. You stepped closer and white-hot heat flashed through me when our lips finally met.

I have kissed before, and I have been kissed before, seldom by a man. I didn’t have an aversion to it, but more often than not hunger took the place of tenderness and need was far greater in seeking completion.

We drowned in that first kiss, so long needed and we feasted upon each other like starving men, and perhaps we were. And how sweet your kisses tasted as our tongues danced inside each other’s mouths. Rough mouths, roughened beards scraped and abraded our skin as we dueled, not for dominance, but for desire.

I leaned closer and heard a loud groan escaping from your throat (or was it mine) when our erections crushed together. My whole being was on fire and my breath gasped harshly like a bellows in the silence of the room as we struggled to be even closer than this.

I didn’t have time to wonder or care how it happened when you succeeded opening my tunic and your sword-calloused hand grazed my bare chest and still it was not enough. Your touch burned, though there was gentleness in the caress. I needed to feel your strong, hard body against my own, and I began to undress you with shaking hands.

How you stood so still before me as I revealed the lean musculature of your tanned flesh, so perfect; not even half-healed cuts and other injuries of the warrior’s life could mar the stark ragged beauty that each carelessly tossed aside garment exposed.

When I finally removed the last piece of your clothing, intending to pull you closer, you raised your hand, stopping me. My groan of disappointment suddenly changed to a low growl your hands encircle my erection. And in that next moment you knelt slowly in front of me and take me into your hot, wet mouth.

Madness…sweet seductive madness as I force myself to stand, to entwine my fingers in the dark thick cloak that is your hair, my body trembling violently as I try to keep my balance. Never has this act felt so sublime, so powerful, so right. Never has a mouth claimed me so utterly, never had I felt that I was soaring higher than the heavens.

I was completely at your mercy as your other hand brushed against the sensitive flesh behind my testicles. My hips swayed as I thrust myself even deeper into your hot mouth, wrapped so tightly around me, until stars flashed behind my tightly closed eyelids.

It was too much too soon and I felt myself nearing the abyss. Your fingers dug into my flesh almost painfully hard, holding me prisoner, but from your hand I welcomed that pain as well as the pleasure. Your mouth, your tongue, your lips reading every quiver of my body, tasting and teasing, almost whispering for me to let go and I heeded your passionate entreaty. I came hard, moaning your name over and over again like a talisman. Never before had I experienced so soul shaking a power of sensations and without your support I would most certainly sink to the floor.

Somehow we managed to make it over to my bed and I collapsed on it, shaken and exhausted and deliriously happy.

We became entangled in each other once more, so tightly that it seemed I didn’t know where my body ended and yours began. And it didn’t matter. All my thoughts and senses were full of you, your naked body pressed hotly against my own. We kissed hungrily and I tasted my seed from your lips and it inflamed me like some forbidden drug. The power of our embrace increased with breathtaking speed. I threaded my hand between our hips and I took firm grip of your erection, hot, hard and pulsing with your life blood. I began to move my hand, stroking from base to crown as your back arched and a wild moan escaped your lips. Above me is your pleasure-clouded face, your body in surrender to me and I knew that I wanted to be yours completely.

Again, the madness that bears your name consumed me, for I had never been taken by a man, though I had always been curious as to how it felt when I had possessed others in that way. Perhaps it was simply a matter of my soul knowing that you were the one.

I paused in mid-stroke upon you and hungrily whispered my wish in your ear. Gazing down at me, your eyes blazed, searing me with a stare of almost terrifying intensity.

“Éomer…are you sure,” you asked hesitantly, though I could see in your eyes how much you want me. “There are other ways I can pleasure you as a man.”

Another time, your concern would have touched me, but for now all I felt was the inexplicable need to have to inside of me, to have you touch my soul as you seem to have touched mine.

“I don’t want your caution, Aragorn,” I snarled, my body shaking with the force of my need. “I want your lust.”

With that I pulled you above me and began to beg with my body what I wanted for you to do. With a nod to the side table where a small vial of oil lay patiently for your use, I parted my legs and bid you welcome.

“Ah gods…Éomer…” and you pressed an oil-slickened finger carefully inside of me, lightly stretching. Unused to such invasion, my first instinct was to try and force your finger out, but once there you were insistent and within a heartbeat my resistance was no more. Another thick digit joined the first and I found myself riding them, urging them deeper inside. A third finger breached me and lightly swept over that hidden place I’d heard could drive a man past sanity and now I knew why.

“Aragorn…please…” I squirmed impatiently, wanting much more than your fingers. Mindless in passion, I ached to be filled by you and haven’t long to wait though it seemed an eternity as you prepared yourself.

You obviously shared my urgency for you leaned over and thrust deep inside me. First there was a pain such as I’d never experienced, as if I could not take all of you, but quickly it faded as my muscle clenched around you, holding you tight inside, replacing the pain with rapture.

We moved together as one, our bodies rising and falling as we allowed the outside world and its wars and destruction to disappear. Grunts and groans pierced the silence of the room as you pierced me over and again, the heady scent of our desire thick in my nostrils. You sought my pleasure as I sought yours, as I wrapped my legs around your waist, pulling you still ever deeper within me.

Our rhythm increased with same speed and frenetic intensity as our heartbeat. Our eyes met and bridged forever and we both knew this moment would remain with us until death, and even beyond.

The waves of my impending orgasm took me once more with them, and you led me there, pounding away, imprinting yourself within my consciousness. Faster and faster we moved, sweat-soaked bodies slapping against each other, your hips grinding against my own as I clung to your shoulders. I wanted you to come first, to feel the force of your release.

A mighty surge and then a cry from you as your soul poured into me and I was soon to follow you into that sweet, white-hot realm of the senses and we tumbled together down…down…and never wanting to leave this place where nothing mattered save need.

You collapsed atop me, panting heavily and I held you tightly as we slowly came back to ourselves.

I resolved to remember this moment forever, so that when we had to separate, we would still be one. When you finally pulled out of me, I felt myself empty and longing for you to be inside me again.

Resting in your arms, I brushed your sweat covered forehead, feeling your kiss on my cheek. Right before I drifted off to sleep, I heard your whisper:

“I love you, Éomer. No matter what the future may bring, always remember this and let it comfort you in the darkest of times. ”

And before I could stop myself I replied, “I am not the most eloquent of men, but when I speak truth none ever doubt me. And doubt not that I love you as well, Aragorn.”

We both fell into deep slumber, still entwined, more peaceful than any time before or since.

**********************************************************************************************************

Only few days, few stolen moments with you – That was everything what we ever had. The rest of my life spread out in front of me like an endless desert, lonely and cold.

I looked towards the future, seeing nothing.

The sound of the battle horn pierced my numbness, and without thought I prepared myself to depart. I knew my own journey seemed hopeless – Rohan against the might of Barad-dur – and the merest chance of victory.

Silently I took my place beside Théoden, and we turned our horses south – to Gondor and perhaps a glorious death in battle.

************************************************************************************************************

The battle raged all around us, the battlements of the White City shattered yet unbowed. My blade was stained with the thick, black blood and entrails of foul orcs and other creatures of nightmare. Many of my fellow Rohirrim have fallen, their brave mounts cruelly slashed from beneath them and yet they fight as if possessed. From somewhere I thought I heard Eowyn’s voice, but she would never be in the midst of this horror, shieldmaiden or no.

From the harbor I saw ships slowly sailing towards us and I recognized them, my heart sinking fast.

Pirates of Umbar – traitors to men who believed Sauron’s grand promises, only they’d find themselves betrayed soon if Gondor fell.

Though it seemed hopeless, I continued to fight with desperate frenzy. If my time had come, so be it, but I would make such an end as to be worthy of legend should there be any men left to sing of my last moments.

My sword rose and fell, raining death, mowing down my enemies like a scythe, Hessira bearing me through the hoard, trampling those who dared not let us pass.

Light suddenly flashed from first ship’s deck. I saw a flag being raised up on the mast – a banner that has not been seen since the time of Isildur.

In that one moment, a glimmer of hope was restored within me and not even the rage of Mordor’s hosts could stop me from coming to you.

The men of Gondor and Rohan rally once more, fighting with renewed vigor, giving notice to Sauron that the men of the West would not submit to defeat so easily.

During a slight lull in the battle, we finally met on the field of our glory. A smile gleamed on your lips as I saluted you with a sword still wet with orc blood. Bruised, battered and bloody, you still took my breath away.

“Thus we meet again, Éomer, though all the hosts of Mordor stood between us.” I nodded once in acknowledgement, then turned our attentions back to the battle at hand.

With the help of those once cursed by Isildur for their cowardice, who now redeem themselves, the tide began to turn in our favor. Yet even supernatural aid is no replacement for good men and now those of Mordor are fighting for their very souls, for they knew that Sauron would not accept failure lightly.

It took the whole day to finally beat the hosts of darkness, when the sun at last set behind Mindolluin,

Not even our unexpected victory could get my soul to sing knowledge of you still living and walking on Arda. We have been one, since the very first moment we met, but our pains and trials, together endured, bonded us eternally. And there is no Man, no Elf, no creature who could ever drive us apart.


~FIN~