Adult-FanFiction.org : Lord of the Rings

Path of Honor	By : IdrilsSecret Category: +Third Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1994 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor the characters from it. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Chapter One

Our father used to like to brag about my brothers and me, that we were born with a bow in our hands. Since close to birth, it seems, we have been trained as warriors. Each one of us started out with a child’s bow, a toy really, and arrows with blunt tips. Our targets consisted of anything from tree trunks, to clay bowls lined upon a wall, to the nanny’s cat. Well, that had been my choice of target, since she had a cat when I was an elfling. I believe she had one when Haldir, my oldest brother, was young, but decided against any more pets while helping my father raise three rambunctious boys who liked to shoot at moving targets. I’m not sure why she decided to adopt another feline when I came into the family. I was just like my brothers, and the new cat was thoroughly tortured by blunt arrows. I asked her about it once, when I was older. She said she always saw a gentle quality to my personality, and that I behaved as I did because I was only following my two older brothers’ examples. That always stuck in my head for some reason. I never saw myself as gentle nor as a follower. I was as rough and strong as Haldir and Orophin.
My brothers and I looked very much alike. We were Silvan elves, born in Lothlórien not but a handful of years between each of us. Our parents wanted to grow our family quickly. We all had long golden hair, straight and fine. We had the classic high cheekbones and sharp jaw. And we loved competition, especially with each other. I can remember each of us trying to outdo the other. It was good for our training. It shaped us, made us better soldiers. And our father could not have been more proud of his three sons. The Lórien brothers, they called us. Haldir was the bold one. Orophin was the clever one. And I, Rúmil, was considered the gentleman. But when it came to battle, make no mistake; we were a deadly combination.
As I said, we started our training early. Father would see it no other way. No son of his was going to be left behind. It was expected of us, since he was a high ranking officer in Lothlórien’s military. He was a Commander, and he controlled all of the troops for the Northern Border of our realm. When someone told us that we’d grow to be just like our father, we would laugh and say it would take the three of us combined to match his notoriety. But deep down, Orophin and I always knew that one day it would be Haldir who would fill our father’s boots. He was the oldest, and he had a kind of fire that sparked his soul. Haldir would make it first, and Orophin and I, if we were lucky, would benefit from his glory.
Haldir was the only one of us to study different languages, and he excelled at it. Though our primary language was Sindarin, he also spoke Quenya, as well as some of the ancient elvish languages long forgotten. He could speak Westron—the common tongue of Men—fluently, and could even speak Khuzdul, the secret language of the Dwarves. Haldir knew the Black Speech, too, but never used it. That was more for understanding the enemy, not to use as a way of communication. As for Orophin and I, we had no interest in other languages, for we never left our golden home of Lothlórien, and rarely did anyone from outside the borders come here.
You might wonder why I haven’t spoken of our mother yet. That’s because she sailed very early on, when I was only five. You see, we should have been the brother’s four of Lórien, but a most unfortunate thing happened. Our fourth brother was stillborn. It was a rare occurrence amongst elves, but it happened from time to time, nonetheless. The death of her child proved to be too much for Mother, and her grief was overwhelming. There was no other option for her, and she sailed to Valinor, the Blessed Realm of the elves. I’m told we will meet her again someday, but I fear I will not know her by then. I hardly remember what she looked like; I was so young when she left. Haldir and Orophin remember her better than I do, so I put my trust in them that they’ll recognize her when we finally hear the calling and make the last journey of the elves. Honestly, I never understood why she left. It was tragic, to say the least, but could she not let her love for us help heal the suffering of her loss?
And so, it had been our father who raised us, with the help of a nanny when we were still elflings. It was a military upbringing, one we were expected to do well at. And we did. But as the time grew closer to my majority, when an elf was considered an adult, I began to question things, many things, and my life as a soldier was one of them.
Don’t misunderstand me, I loved being a soldier. There’s no better sensation than nocking an arrow, bending the string, feeling the softness of the fletching against my cheek, and the muscles tense in my arm as I released death upon my enemy. I was a warrior, and a very seasoned one at that. I had made my way up the ranks and commandeered my own regiment. My men trusted me to lead them into battle, and to be successful. We always were. A military life was the only one I knew. Nothing else mattered, or at least, nothing else was supposed to matter. And I’d never break any oath or any rule of the Lothlórien army. I never would. I loved it too much to risk it. So imagine my dilemma when I discovered something about myself as I reached my majority.
Let me start by saying that there are many rules that must be followed, some minor and some important. Most are easy to abide by. And then there are the laws of the military, these being so significant that to break one would mean instant dismissal and deactivation of ranking as well as participation anywhere within the Lórien military. That means the person accused and proved guilty of breaking such laws shall be cast out of the elven army to become an ordinary citizen with no hope of reenlistment. It is the most disgraceful way to be discharged, and there are no excuses for any one, no matter their ranking or blood ties. And though it only affects the person accused, any other family members shall inadvertently suffer the dishonor of having the family name smeared with scandal. So what are these laws? Well, murder and treason, of course, are obvious, but the one I speak of is the one that I struggle with, even though I have chosen the path of the military. It is a sacrifice that I am willing to take because I love being a soldier. It also means that I may never pursue the satisfaction of knowing love or a relationship. The rule states that no elf may fraternize with another elf of the same sexual orientation. In other words, male soldiers may not be intimately connected with other male soldiers. It is not tolerated, and since only males serve in the army, well … you must see my point.
So, when did I know and why do I stay on my chosen path? I reckon I knew early on, but I did not really acknowledge my desires until I reached that difficult age when a youth begins to come into his own and seek adolescent independence. I believe the human equivalent is referred to as puberty. The elf in question was my best friend, Fandir, and the query of my preference came to light one day as we were enjoying a quiet soak in one of the hot springs. We had done so on numerous occasions, but this time was different. As he climbed into the water, my eyes caught sight of his nakedness, and I felt a jolt of excitement run down my spine where it settled to someplace lower. A throbbing but pleasurable ache followed this unexpected reaction, leading me to blush quite prominently. Later, I learned that I hadn’t been alone in this self-discovery. My best friend had had a similar reaction to seeing me, at an earlier time. He had actually meant for me to see him that day, and when I thought more about that moment, I do recall him pausing more than necessary as he slowly lowered his body into the warm healing waters. He had been aware of my reaction, though I did not know it since my thoughts and eyes had traveled elsewhere. Fandir had been my first in a lot of things, and we learned much from each other. It had been more of an experimental relationship at first, but it turned into something much more. I loved Fandir, and I think he loved me, but when I told him that I did not mean to abandon my path as a soldier, it soon ended. It hurt to lose Fandir, but it hurt even more to lose that close friendship we had. Unfortunately, there is no going back once two people have shared such intimacy. I don’t regret what we shared. It was wonderful, magical even. We learned a lot about each other and about ourselves. I still see him every now and then, in passing, and there is always a brief acknowledgement as our eyes meet, but it is just a shadow of our past, nothing more. It was a shame really. He was my first lover, and my first time falling in love. But … well … time cannot be rewound, now can it?
After that, and before I was sworn into the Lórien army, I’d had a few relationships, private matters that I shared with no one but my partner. They were always good for a while, but they never advanced much beyond those first stages of attraction, the newness of coupling. Once they knew they could not sway me from my projected future, it would fall apart. What else was I to do? I was my father’s son, one of the Lórien brothers. My path would not be altered … my father saw to that.
He never knew about my tastes, my father. He sailed once Haldir was well established in the army. Our older brother would look after us from then on. He would see that we continued our training, and that we entered the army and advanced. None of my family ever knew about my secret life. I didn’t want to burden them with it. And besides, I was putting it aside, devoting myself, like my brothers and my father before me, to a life of soldiering. I was depending on that to satisfy me. And it did for a while.
I was now the Captain of my own regiment within the Northern Border Guard. Orophin, too, was a Captain, though he controlled a larger number of troops than I did. Haldir had recently been promoted to March Warden of the Northern Guard. Like our father, he was responsible for all troops in this region. It was the largest in our realm. Most attacks came from the north. The men who marched under Haldir’s orders were the best and strongest of Lothlórien. There had not been a breach beyond the protected walls of the Golden Wood in many centuries. Our father had seen to that for many of those years. Now, Haldir had fallen into step and taken over his position without as much as a single snag. My brother, Orophin, and I were so very proud of him, and honored to serve under his command. He knew he could count on us when we were needed.
* * * * *
We were starting a new season of trainees. This year, I would oversee a small group of elves being considered for the Northern Guard. I’d never done this before. It had always fallen to the previous captain of this regiment, but he had been promoted to a new position within the Eastern Guard. There had been some controversy over my own promotion. Some of those who had been with the regiment longer thought they should have been next in line for the newly open position of Captain. I knew Haldir had everything to do with this decision. As I said, he’d taken it upon himself to see that his younger brothers moved up the ranks. My father would have done it if he was still here with us. I suffered the talk of favoritism and the green-eyed stares from those who disagreed, and decided to make the best of it. The influx of new recruits would be my focus now.
The day of the Choosing would soon be upon us, the day when the trainees were picked by the Captains and assigned to their regiments. But first, there was a feast and celebration for everyone. It marked the beginning of the planting season, when everything was bursting with new life. All of Lothlórien would be there, and the Lórien brothers, as always, were expected to show. I had been to the feast every year that I could remember. When I was younger, it was fun. Now that I was well into my majority, it started to feel a little awkward. You see, celebrating new life, new growth, and new beginnings was an opportunity for any unwed elf maidens to seek out any available elf men. It was a dangerous thing to show up alone and unattached, and … not to brag, but … my brother’s and I were well sought after. Haldir and Orophin, even though they weren’t seeking a mate, enjoyed the attention and the flirting. Me, on the other hand, well, you can understand my lack of interest for the opposite sex. Still, I didn’t want to raise suspicions, since my brother’s didn’t know about my choice, and the fact that I was now a Captain in the Northern Border Guard. Any of my involvements were done discretely and outside of military circles. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my soldiering career. Neither did I want lead a bunch of love starved maidens into thinking that they might be the one to capture the most eligible and newly recruited Captain, third and youngest Lórien brother. However, I couldn’t arrive at the affair alone. In fact, I had to skillfully choose who I would invite to accompany me for the evening. It had to be someone not too outspoken, or too enthusiastic as to where the evening would lead to. I usually chose a pretty young maiden, shy enough not to draw attention to us, yet confident enough to accept defeat when I declined any further engagements together. The last thing I needed was someone who clung too tightly to something that could never be. It was a difficult process choosing the perfect acquaintance for the evening’s dance, but one I had become quite accustomed to. Tonight would be no different. She was past her majority, delighted that I had asked her to attend the dance with me, and accepted the fact that, with my recent promotion, I had next to no time for anything more than this one night. We showed exactly when we were expected, and made the long walk from the main entrance, where numerous onlookers liked to congregate and observe who was with who. Heads turned and smiles reassured me that I’d made a wise choice yet again, though my finely tuned ears perceived multiple comments as to whether this would finally be the one who captured my heart. My father had been right about that. Once given title of Captain, people would expect a marriage soon to follow. They would have to wait a very long time, I laughed to myself.
It smelled delicious in the dance hall, and my stomach spoke loudly as I made my way to the food. Tables lined one side of the hall, covered with white linen cloth. Platters of fruit and bread, trays piled high with sliced meat, and pans of steaming vegetable covered each table. My eyes turned to the wild boar, and I filled my plate. The scent of wood smoke and spices wafted up to my nose. This was one of my favorite meals, and I felt no guilt as I took more than my fair share of the succulent meat. My date circled the table that held fruit and cheese, picked carefully and modestly filled her own plate. When we were both satisfied with our choices, we looked around the hall and found Haldir and Orophin at one of the dining tables, accompanied by their lovely dates. The women sat at one end of the table, and my brothers and I sat opposite, where we could discuss military strategy while the women talked about us. It was all rather monotonous, I thought as I recalled last year’s dance.
“Are you ready to start a new season?” Haldir asked Orophin and me.
“I’ve already been to the training grounds, and I’ve got my eye on a few of the new recruits,” said Orophin in challenge to me.
“I have not stalked the trainees,” I accused him with a raise of my brow. “But I’ve heard a thing or two, and received word in good faith from Tarlis as to who the stronger of the newcomers are,” I replied. Tarlis was one of the trainers, and a longtime friend of mine.
“Word of mouth is not as accurate as actually watching the men in action,” responded Orophin, as he filled his mouth with a large hunk of roast pig.
I smiled and knitted my brow at him. “Oh? And you had enough time on your hands that you could spare a few moments of observation?” I accused. “Your troops must be in such excellent condition that they don’t need their Captain every moment of the day.”
“And yours do?” he returned. He had me there. Sometimes I managed to walk right into a corner when we bartered with words. Orophin was very clever at that, and I usually ended up feeling defeated.
“At least I know they will be well prepared for the next campaign.” I turned to Haldir. “Which will be when, dear brother?”
“In the early fall. You still have plenty of time to prepare your men, both of you, and the new recruits too,” said Haldir dryly, not wanting to get into the middle of our bantering. He seemed distracted this evening, more than usual.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
Any evidence of worry dissipated quickly from his countenance, and he smiled with closed lips. “Excellent,” he answered tersely. Yet another trait of our older brother. Haldir was always the serious one, never letting down his guard for long. But he was the leader of the entire Northern Border Guard, and was expected to keep things under control at all times. Eru’s blessings, but if anything ever happened to Haldir, I prayed I would not have to take over his position. I did not want that responsibility.
We were discussing the new campaigns for the fall when the music changed, and our women approached us, obviously tired of waiting for us to make a move. We knew they wished to dance, and we would not refuse them.
“We will finish this discussion tomorrow morning, bright and early,” Haldir said. Then he smiled at the beautiful elleth he’d invited to attend the festival with him, bowed deep and extended his hand to her. He was such an elegant elf when with a lady. It was difficult to think of him as a ruthless warrior.
Orophin did the same, deep bow and extended hand, but when his lady reached for him, he snatched up her hand and drew her against him. She let out a gasp of surprise, and seemed to melt as his sultry eyes rested upon her. It was obvious that their evening would end enjoyably beneath the sheets.
My lady waited, unsure what to expect from me after watching my brothers. I was a simple elf, though. I bowed, took her hand, and easily led her to the dance floor. I placed my hand at her waist, the other joining with her hand, held my body at a respectable distance from hers, and we danced. I twirled her and she smiled, liking the pace I’d chosen for this particular song. It was light and fun, the flute playing a clever rhythm while the other musicians backed him with solid chords. We moved across the floor as though we wore clouds on our feet, and my date laughed and smiled. So did some of the elf women who kept an eye on us. I could see them whispering to each other, probably thinking that we made a perfect couple. Well, it looked that way from where they were sitting, and I made sure to keep up appearances.
The music ended and we took the moment to separate. She went off with her friends to do whatever it was that women did, and I went back to our table, abandoned for the time. I was truly enjoying myself. My acquaintance was, too. We actually made a nice pairing, and if things were different, perhaps my interest would have been genuine. But she was only an acquaintance, and would be nothing more. A tendril of sadness struck me suddenly, not for the elleth, but for my own precarious situation. My life as a soldier meant everything to me, so much so that I was willing to sacrifice the chance at a real relationship. I could not bind myself to an elleth because that went against every fiber of my being. And I could not bind myself to an ellon, because that would mean an end to my occupation. It seemed that I was doomed in love, except for my love of soldiering. But as satisfying as it was, it could not, of course, satisfy other aspects of my life. And so I had reduced my love life, if one could call it such, to solicitously mindful liaisons with an understanding that it must be kept between us, and that nothing more could ever come of it. Most were willing to concur, and there had never been any incidents that put me in jeopardy. As I’ve mentioned before, I was very careful and thorough in my choosing. As a result, I kept a particular lover, with whom I would visit when the need arose. Beldor was his name, blond hair, green eyes, lithe, and always accommodating. He knew the rules and accepted them. Thinking about him, as I was at the moment, I figured that I would leave the dance in a bit, and seek him out for another night of passion. My mental plans were well underway when a servant approached the table. As I leaned over to take a wine goblet from the offered tray, I looked up to find the most beautiful pair of topaz eyes watching me. I was instantly captivated.
“Good evening, my lord, Rúmil. I do hope you are enjoying the wine,” he said. He couldn’t be much past his majority, this young servant, but he was most handsome indeed. His red lips curled into an appetizing smile, making me want to taste their ruby fullness. Blue eyes sparkled by the lantern light, and a tail of dark brown hair cascaded over one shoulder as he leaned slightly forward, holding the tray in front of me.
I returned my own sultry smile, hoping not to be too obvious, but I couldn’t help the warmth purling deep within my loins. “The wine is excellent, as is the service.”
He bowed, eyes closing, and smile never fading. “Thank you, my lord. Or shall I call you, Captain?”
“Rúmil would be fine.” I placed my empty goblet on the tray, and his hand brushed mine as he reached to pull it away from the filled cups. “And what shall I call you, in case I am in need of further refreshment?”
“Túron, my lord, and do not be hesitant to call upon me,” he said with such assuredness that I couldn’t help to want to know him better. His name meant mastery, and something about the way he carried himself made me think he was named justly. He was a servant, too, which meant no fear of military connections. Túron looked too lithe to be a soldier. No, it seemed to be a servant’s life for this beautiful youth. That suited me just fine. Still, there was something about him that peaked my curiosity. He was very sure of himself, and confidence was something that I looked for in a lover. With my unpredictable schedule as a soldier, I didn’t have time for someone timid. That sort of personality was dangerous, for they seemed to cling to whoever paid them such close attention. My personal life consisted of a night here or there, and then I was off on another campaign for what could be months at a time. But this one before me, with his eyes now scanning over me, he would only take what I could afford to give him in a single night, and I wondered what he might give in return.
Túron nodded and hurried off to the next table, doing his duty as wine servant for the gallant affair that evening. I watched him go about his business, and caught him several times glancing in my direction. That was all I could afford for the moment, as I suddenly found myself in the company of my brothers.
Orophin nudged my arm and leaned into my ear. “So, how does your evening progress, dear brother? Will you not be going home alone tonight?”
I thought of those full lips, though I knew my brother spoke of the elleth, and smiled arrogantly. “You are one to talk. When was the last time you went home alone?”
Haldir laughed. “He knows you too well, Orophin. You are never alone after an event such as this. And judging by the looks your lady gives you this evening, I’d say tonight will be no different.” Then Haldir turned to me with narrowed eyes. “I am curious though. What about your lady, Rúmil?”
“She is lovely, and we have had a wonderful time tonight, but it is too soon to tell where any of this might lead. It is not my first priority,” I answered.
“Father would beg to differ,” Haldir said in a reprimanding tone.
“Father would have seen all three of us married and well-anchored if he had not gone. He was such a prominent family man,” Orophin added.
“He was also Captain during a less active time in our history,” said Haldir. “It is easier to fall in love and marry in times of peace. Our customs deter us from starting families during wartime.”
It was true. There were no weddings set anytime soon. And most who were already bound chose to remain childless until the future seemed more unfluctuating. The last thing anyone wanted to do was die in battle, leaving their wives and elflings behind to suffer the sorrow of a lost loved one. Elves were prone to grieve deeply and passionately, to the point of our own demise.
I, on the other hand, was glad in a way for this time of war. It justified my reasons for not marrying. I already knew that I would never marry an elleth, no matter what the older elf women wished. Perhaps someday, when I retired from the Lórien army, if I was lucky enough, I would live the life I could not have now.
The women came back just in time to dance to a lively tune featuring the quick and nimble fingers of the harpist. Most of the women filled the dance floor and began their dance. They started in a circle and went round and round, breaking every so often to join hands and spin the elleth to their right before connecting in a huge ring once more. The dance of the elf maidens, it was called, but I knew for a fact that a few of the women could not be considered such any longer. Orophin had seen to that small detail, I laughed secretly to myself. I wondered for a moment, why was I different in that way? Out of the three of us, why had I ended up being the brother who longed for the company of a male? It would have been much easier if I hadn’t, or if I’d never become a soldier. The kind of lifestyle I preferred was not forbidden among civilian elves, and they lived normal lives as scribes, cooks, council members, or any of the numerous occupations available in the city. It was only the army that had this strict rule. But I figured that when I was on reprieve, I did not have to stick to their rules. I was on my own personal time, and spent it as I deemed fit, although in secrecy, and right now, I wanted to spend it getting to know about Túron.
Haldir and Orophin were in a heavy discussion about something military, and I took the lull in conversation to search for the dark haired ellon. I’d spotted him across the hall, handing the last of his goblets to a table of elves. He retrieved the empty ones and started for the kitchens to replenish his tray, but as he was about to step through the door, he stopped and looked straight at me. My insides quivered as our eyes connected. Then he cocked his head twice in a quick movement, indicating that he wished me to come to him.
“If you’ll excuse me, brothers. I believe I’ll step out for a moment of fresh air before the women join us again,” I said as I stood from the table.
Haldir and Orophin barely looked up from their discussion, but they nodded with acknowledgment, and I took my leave. Once outside, I went around the corner of the hall, to a discreet area poorly lit by the hanging lanterns of the main pathway. I anchored my hands on the railing and breathed deeply, inhaling the sweet scent of roses mixed with the smoky overtures of the roasted boar. A new scent wafted past my senses, one with a green and earthy base note, and a shadow joined me at the railing. I glanced sideways to find Túron there, the fair glow of his flawless skin muted by the darkness. There was something about unlit places that made my heart race, and my imagination run wild. Oh, the things that ran rampant in my mind now.
“I only have a few moments before I am missed,” Túron said. “But I just had to meet you.”
“I am glad for the disruption. Celebrations such as these can become rather trying,” I admitted.
Túron huffed a quiet laugh. “So the elleth that accompanies you tonight, she is not your formal lady?”
“She is an acquaintance, lovely elleth, but neither she nor I have swooned in each other’s company.” He laughed again, and I found that I rather liked the sound, as well as the fact that it was an easy thing to make him do. “So tell me, Túron, exactly why have you pulled me away from the celebration?”
“As I stated, I just wanted to meet you. I’ve known of you and your brothers for some time, and I’ve heard some impressive stories involving the three of you,” Túron said evenly.
“Then why not speak with all three of us if that is the case?” I wanted to find out exactly what he was about, calling me away by myself to speak with me.
He took a step closer to me, so close that I felt the heat emanating through his servants attire. His hand lightly grazed mine, where I’d kept it on the railing. “It is merely that I find you the more interesting brother.” There was a sultriness to his voice that sent a shiver down my spine. However, I stayed cautious.
“I am a servant of the Lord and Lady’s army, and with that comes great responsibility as well as strict rules.” Let’s see how much he knew.
“I understand that quite well, Captain Rúmil, but are you not on your own time now? The army does not dictate what kinds of activities you can indulge in during a reprieve, can they? Or am I mistaken?”
This ellon was very confident, something that set my blood on fire. Although I had a few … companions … who I associated with from time to time, none of them had been the one to initiate our rapport. I found that I rather liked being the hunted for a change, but … how did he know about me? I was always very careful of how I carried myself, especially around military circles. What was it that gave me away? I wondered.
“Men of our … association … are more susceptible to each other, or at least that’s what I’ve found to be true over the years,” he said, as though he’d heard my thoughts. “Do you not agree, Captain?”
He was more aggressive than what I was used to. Half of me was wary of his straightforwardness. The other half wanted to bend him over the rail and—
“Will you meet with me … perhaps in the gardens … to talk … get to know each other before you become so busy that you must be reminded of your own name?” Túron asked, and his hand covered mine, giving it the slightest squeeze. When I did not answer right away, he laughed. “We will be … respectable … in a public venue.”
“I am sure you are quite respectable, but I–”
He interrupted me before I could finish my refusal. Then, he looked up at me through long elegant lashes, blue eyes flickering in the pale light. “I apologize if I’ve been too forward. It’s just, well, I’ve never done anything like this before, and I know your time is limited before you are gone off to the borders again. And I have wanted to meet you for a while now. I felt confident that you would … meet … with me.” I must have looked uneasy at this, for he smiled reassuringly and fluttered those long lashes most becomingly. “I assure you, Captain, none of your comrades would suspect a thing. You hide it very well.”
That might have been a relief, except that there was still the fact that Túron had singled me out. So I wasn’t one hundred percent undetectable. Neither was I immune to his flirting. “Tomorrow then,” I agreed. “The gardens, and then perhaps tea afterward.”
He fidgeted, which I thought was an irresistible trait. “Would you mind if we met in the evening? I have duties that keep me occupied during the day.”
“Oh … well, of course. I hadn’t taken into consideration that you must work for a family.”
“A family?” he asked, confused.
“I assume, since you are a server here tonight, that you are an assistant to some fortunate family.”
He laughed again, light and airy, a joy to my ears, and turned so that his back leaned against the railing. “Not every servant assists a family, Captain. My job is within this hall. But now I shall say no more so that we’ll have something to talk about tomorrow night. Anyways, I must get back to my duties before I am missed.”
I wondered at his secrecy, just another part of his personality that I found intriguing. “Tomorrow then, Túron,” I said with a bow. I let his name roll from my tongue, and wondered what else it might touch.
“I look forward to peeling back your layers.” At this I gave a smile.
As I watched him disappear through the kitchen door, a spark of excitement traveling through my body. It had been a very long time since I’d felt that sensation. I was so used to one night liaisons, nothing more than need and satisfaction to sustain me until the next meeting. Túron was stirring something that had not surfaced in many years. The feel was intoxicating, but dangerous. I barely knew him, wasn’t sure he understood my situation, and was curious as to why he singled me out. I wished suddenly that things could be different, that I was free to traverse my prospects outwardly, but the rules of the army kept me from doing so. When others could look forward to exploring a new relationship, I had to rein in my need for such a thing. It was difficult, and within the short time I’d spent with Túron, I found it to be quite torturous. I’d felt the need to know him better, and for me that meant doing it quickly before I had to depart for my next mission. But to do so also meant secret meetings, closed doors, and unspoken words. There was just never enough time. Besides, no one that I’d met so far wanted to invest in a relationship in which they must keep under lock and key. I’d tried in the past and had always failed miserably. No one wanted someone that they could not be with completely. And for me, the military was my first love.
As I made my way back into the hall, my thoughts were of Túron. I liked the exchange we shared at the table, that sense of being on common ground. He intrigued me, and that was something I rarely experienced. He approached me with such strong self-assurance that I’d been taken off guard. I was usually the one making the preemptive strike. I don’t think I could say that I’d ever been the one to be chased. Well, why would I be? As a military man, it was up to me to make first moves. The consequences could be dangerous otherwise. And with that thought, I questioned Túron’s interest in me. I decided it was best to stay cautious, and to stay within the public eye while we were together. A stroll through the gardens would be the perfect opportunity to get to know him better. Besides, I was also glad for the distraction. With the Choosing fast approaching, and then our march to the borders, I thought I was due for a reprieve. Though I’d always longed to command my own regiment, I was nervous. Would the men accept me as their new Captain? Would I be strong enough to lead them? Would I make strong decisions at the Choosing? These questions were a constant reminder of my new office within the army. But I was confident that it would all be well. Autumn was several months away, still plenty of time to become familiar with my troops and train the new recruits. If my intuition was correct about Túron, he might possibly be that bright spot during what I expected to be one of my most trying times.
I stood with my hand on the handle of the main doors, and paused before I entered, taking a deep breath, falling back into my other personality. I pushed Túron from the forefront of my mind. I had to keep up appearances, and finish out the evening with the elleth I’d brought to the festival. Only when the evening was through, and I was alone, would I be able to truly give all my thoughts and attention to the anticipation of seeing Túron again. And that night, my dreams were salaciously abundant.
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Path of Honor