A Promise of Forever | By : redkiwi Category: +Second Age > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1565 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Tolkien's world (Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings/Hobbit), nor the characters from it. No money is made from the writing of this story. |
Second Age, year 749
Morning was just breaking over the land of Forlindon. The edge of the orange sun was peaking over the trees, just enough to cast its golden glow onto the dark rippling waves that crashed onto the shore. The cries of the gulls had not yet begun. Still quiet where they, not yet ready to acknowledge that a new day had come. The city built by the harbor too was quiet, as if not yet ready to greet the quickly rising sun that pushed the stars to fade. The stillness of this early morning was only an illusion however, for the inhabitants of this city stirred behind closed doors. It was as if the chilly air had chased away those who would want to greet the sunrise this early morning, for the harbor was almost void of any souls this early morning.
There was one, however, who braved the early morning chill to watch the sun rise. Elrond sat alone under the fading dark of the awakening sky. He really should have been looking for Erestor, but the dark water of the crashing waves held him entranced, and he gladly meditated on the harbor's sounds and the salty mist that rose from the rolling sea. He had been asked to remind Erestor of this morning's meeting, for they had both been summoned by Gil-galad, and the High-King was not one to leave in waiting. Even though he was expected, Elrond could not force himself to move. At least not just yet. He was not yet ready to face Gil-galad once more, even though he craved with all of his heart the High-King of the Noldor.
His thoughts seemed interwoven with the awakening sky and the rolling waves onto the rocky shore. Steady and desperate, his musings rolled within his mind, over and over, mirroring the constant crashing of the waves before him. What had exactly transpired but just a day ago? There had been no answers to the actions, no words to define the deed. And yet his heart told him that it was indeed love, but his mind just could not accept that conclusion. He frowned as ever more of the rising sun began to shine upon the water, its long reflection rippling, distorting in the crashing waves.
Even though he was expected soon, Elrond was not ready to see about his tasks just yet. There was still just enough time for him to reflect, even though he did his best to push those thoughts aside. Perhaps he did not want to know the answer to his questions, but perhaps he already did. Perhaps he simply was just like those others, who filtered from Gil-galad's bed, never to be requested again in the King's company. What would make his fate differ from those others who yearned to have Gil-galad call their names again, only to be forgotten? Perhaps this was not to be his fate. Perhaps he was different.
Elrond had no answers to his questions, and he had no reassurances that could ease his mind. All that he had was his constant doubt that followed his unanswerable questions.
The sun had risen higher, and Elrond knew that he could no longer delay the meeting with Gil-galad. Time was a constant marker, and it was ticking ever closer to the hour of the meeting. Early they had been called, and late this hour had grown. He was expected, and Gil-galad's will was never to be denied. Not even a few minutes of tardiness could hold the ire that could come so easily from Gil-galad. The time to see him again had come.
He moved as if one on a mission, quickly ascending the steps that cut into the cliffs as he climbed towards Gil-galad's citadel. The air was less chilly now, although the wind forcibly cut through the buildings, howling within its crests. The sting of the cold wind was tinged with the scents of the sea. There was no gentleness to its bite, but this new day would not be delayed.
The city of Forlond had finally woken. The inhabitants passed Elrond with their smiles of greetings. They were like him, all on their way to what ever destination called to them. The inhabitants of Forlond moved as if in a coordinated dance, filling the bustling city with marvelous activity and sound. Elrond politely returned each and every greeting that came his way, while he pressed ever forward to the city's famed library.
Not surprisingly empty in this early morning hour, Elrond could hear his footsteps echo through the long halls of the library. In all the areas of the city of Forlond, and even Lindon in its entirety, the library was Elrond's most favorite place. He simply loved the rich earth tones that were used throughout the library; in furniture and in color, and he loved the strong smell of the old parchments and books that filled the building. He knew the halls and rooms better than most, his scholarly nature luring him here where he would lose himself within the countless volumes on lore. Sometimes he wouldn’t emerge from the library until days had gone by, his intense desire for knowledge making him lose all sense of time. Time was so easy for him to forget some days, but not this day. Today time was the constant marker that dictated his every action.
Even as much as he loved this place, there was one who loved the library more, and Elrond had a notion that this is were he would find Erestor this early morning. He continued to move past room after room, until he was far back in the structure in a scarcely used room. Just as he had thought, he spied Erestor who was surrounded by large volumes and numerous scrolls. It was evident that Erestor had been reading for hours, despite the early hour, and he was scratching his head, intently pouring over a rather tedious looking volume. So absorbed in his task was Erestor, that he didn’t hear when Elrond came to stand next to him.
“Erestor.” Elrond called out to him, rousing him from the book.
Erestor showed no surprise, his response was only that of just sighing at hearing his name. He reluctantly closed the book that he had been reading, and he turned his gaze to Elrond. On seeing who it was who had called his name, his lips turned to a slight frown before he spoke.
“Is is that time already?” Erestor did little to mask his irritation, his lament of the quickly passing time plainly evident.
“And here I thought that you would be excited to have finally been invited to one of these meetings with our King. Surely you are now the envy of all of Gil-galad's researchers and lore-masters.”
Erestor's mouth curved briefly to a smile before he donned his usual expressionless facade. “I am not sure why a researcher such as myself would be called to any meeting with Gil-galad at all. And why me? Why not a more experienced researcher? What would he care about my opinion anyway? I am not a counsellor like you, and nor have I ever professed to be.”
Elrond did not respond, for he was caught on Erestor's question. What was it exactly that Gil-galad wanted, and more importantly, what was it that Gil-galad wanted with him? Elrond certainly didn't know. And that in itself was the problem that had been bothering him all night and into this early morning. His self-doubts were once again crashing within his mind. Perhaps whatever Gil-galad would throw at him this day would ease his worried and spinning mind. Elrond certainly hoped it would, for he couldn't continue on this way.
Life as a counsellor for Gil-galad was exciting, but it was also taxing. Everyone seemed to bring their problems and grievances to the High King, and it was his counsellors who had to solve the problems for him. Gil-galad kept seven counsellors of which one served as the chief advisor, and eight lore-masters whom he constantly kept busy with research and seeking answers to what ever problems they had been presented with. It was usual for Elrond to be busy, his time immersed with the King's problems, but this request did seem odd. Erestor was right to have his misgivings, for Elrond certainly did.
Erestor stood languidly, finally accepting his fate that the time for the meeting had come. He exhaled deeply, as if he was forcing himself into wakefulness. “Come, let us get going then. Gil-galad does not take kindly to tardiness, and we are already pushing our luck against time as it is.”
They both moved in silence through the library, but conversation found them once they had stepped onto the busy streets of the city.
“Have you taken rest at all last night?” Elrond asked, genuinely wondering about his friend. He knew that Erestor had been reading all night. His grey eyes looked weary and held the hints of unrest.
“Rest would not find me.” Erestor responded, but he did not elaborate on the subject. Elrond didn't have the energy to pry anything further from him, and the two fell into silence once more.
Their walk continued on in silence, but after a few moments, Erestor's gazed turned to Elrond. He studied him, suddenly wondering over the shadow that seemed to hang over Elrond's eyes. It was unusual for Elrond's gaze to be so stormy, and Erestor wondered over the tension that radiated from him.
“And tell me, my friend, what has kept you entranced in worry? I can tell that you also took no rest last night. What is wrong?”
“It is nothing.” Elrond lied, and he cursed himself silently for being so transparent. He noted to subdue his feelings and emotions, least Gil-galad would pick him apart. To Erestor's credit, he didn't push the subject, and for that Elrond was grateful.
Too soon, however, they were walking down the hall that would lead them to Gil-galad's office. Elrond slowed his steps, hoping to prevent the inevitable. He fell behind, each step seemed heavier than the last. He wasn't sure why, for he longed to be by Gil-galad's side, and yet, his mind gave pause and he fell into unease and hesitation. Perhaps he was not yet ready to receive the answers to his questions.
Erestor turned his gaze back to Elrond, and his eyes conveyed that they needed to make haste, for they were late. Elrond could do no other but comply with Erestor's silent command, understanding that even this delay could not stop what soon would be happening. He did not need to stir the ire of his King.
He was at Gil-galad's door, and his mind had not settled. In fact, his heart only seemed to beat faster when he approached the door, which was ajar, as if to invite them in.
While Elrond paused, Erestor opened the door further without hesitation, and he quickly stepped inside. Knowing that he could no longer delay the inevitable, Elrond also entered into Gil-galad's office, and his eyes were once again upon the one he loved, and the one who was causing him such misgivings.
“I was beginning to think that perhaps my request had been forgotten.” Gil-galad's greeting hinted on his annoyance for the wait that they had made him endure. Despite his annoyance with their tardiness, he remained cordial enough, and he pointed to two chairs near the fireplace for them to have a seat on.
Despite the icy tone that he had used to greet them, the room itself was very comfortable. Gil-galad had planned it to be so. He wanted others to be at complete ease when they had to speak with him. A large fireplace that was currently lit encompassed one of the walls. Gil-galad always had a fire burning when the weather turned damp and chilly, if not for function but for pure aesthetic reasons. The wood that made up the walls of the room were a deep mahogany that richly reflected the glow of the fireplace, and also from the candelabras that were placed around the room. The walls held many tapestries that depicted various scenes from the first age of Arda. The furniture was also made of the same mahogany wood, and was covered in red velvet and linen cushions.
Elrond and Erestor had seated themselves on the chairs near the welcoming heat from the hearth, and waited for Gil-galad to speak further, both eager and curious to know why they had been summoned. Elrond curiously noted that no one else was present in the room, and his curiosity spun within his mind.
“I will not tarry the matter at hand for that of pleasantries.” Gil-galad began, delving straight into what he needed to discuss with them. “I have called you both here because I want you to journey to Harlond. There you will meet with Galadriel and Celeborn. There are rumors of unrest that have filtered to me from our southern lands. Some of the rumors concern my regents, and some of the rumors concern that of the continuing flow of our people from these lands. Learn from Galadriel and Celeborn if such rumors are true. I want to know if they are truly going to depart my lands.”
“And what if they confirm that the rumors are true? What then? Do we try to dissuade them? If their minds are already made, there is nothing that we can truly achieve, except what is that of simply knowing.” Erestor said in response to his King's request.
“I only care to learn what course of action they will make.” Gil-galad responded. “The objective is not of one to change their minds. If that were the goal, I would journey there myself to hold such dialogue.”
“If it is true that they do intend to leave our lands, this is ill news indeed. Even though someone else can see to the rule of Harlindon, their presence will sorely be missed.” Elrond said, understanding fully just how much it mattered to their stability if Galadriel and Celeborn did indeed leave their posts as regents. They had served as regents of Harlindon for years, and their rule was ever sound.
“Still if this is to be their decision, we must learn all that we can about it.” Erestor stated.
“I agree wholeheartedly, which is why I want you two to meet with them. Learn what you can, and tell me all that you discover from them.”
“Interloping is not a skill that I possess.” Erestor responded. He moved his eyes to Elrond, before he continued. “I will follow Elrond's lead on this, for this is a skill that few hold his equal in.”
Gil-galad's stern gaze went first to Erestor, but then it rested solely on Elrond. Despite the look of seriousness that had hardened within Gil-galad's eyes, his voice was calm and held the accolades he had for Elrond.
“Elrond is most skilled with learning the truth when it would wish to stay hidden. Yes, Erestor, let Elrond take the lead on this. I will need for you to really listen, for that is your skill. Together, I trust fully that you both will discover what it is that I seek to learn.”
Gil-galad paused a moment, and he sighed as if the gravity of what could come to pass had settled in his mind. Dark his eyes became, and his mouth turned to frown. “It is always imperative to know where our allies are located, even if they go forth beyond our keep. I must know what caused them to go forth, and what indeed is causing this rift amongst our people. Stronger it is growing, and it weighs heavy upon my mind. Do we scatter because our divisions are so irremediable? Or do they go forth because they have heard the grumblings of those who live in spiteful hatred? Celebrimbor has gone, and I do not know if he will ever return, and so goeth Oropher. Whatever the case may be that drives them away, it is imperative that I come to fully understand exactly what it is.”
“Surely the people have not listened to the grumblings of Oropher.” Erestor said, his voice hinged with his annoyance that he felt towards him. “His words are filled with the poison of his hate, and would spread like an illness, twisting the weak-minded, causing within them an unrest.”
“They do hear his words, for Oropher leads a host to the east, and the rumors are that even more will go. And thus we only splinter further. Our divides are many, and grows greater by the day.” Gil-galad sighed, as he expressed his misgivings aloud. “If it is true that Galadriel and Celeborn do go as well, our situation becomes more dire.”
“And yet we will endure.” Elrond said.
“Yes we will. Our ties have not been broken with Celebrimbor, for I believe that he will return to us when his spirit has settled.”
“But what of Oropher?” Erestor asked.
“Oropher is now lost to us.” Gil-galad sighed. “Far will his memory diminish in the east, for that is his wish. There is nothing that can stop what is already set in motion. I only hope that with Galadriel and Celeborn, the same will not come to pass.”
A silence filled the room briefly, until it was Gil-galad who spoke once more. “The matter of governing the fiefdom will need to be addressed at a later time.”
“We will find the answers to your questions.” Elrond stated, his own mind was now engrossed with the topics at hand, and his heart had forgotten the worry about what had held him captive throughout the night.
“Perhaps….” Gil-galad began to speak, but his mind had drifted into his thoughts, as if he was not yet ready to speak about what had not yet been carefully formulated.
His gaze remained steady on Elrond, as if he was scrutinizing him and tearing his mind open with his eyes alone.
“Anyways,” He spoke again, finally deciding that the time to end the meeting was now. There was nothing more that he wished to discuss with them just yet. “I have already sent word that you two will be arriving shortly.”
Gil-galad stood, and he let his gaze look out to the sea that was stretched before them. He tarried for just a moment, allowing the beautiful scene to entrance him before he resumed speaking to them.
“You will leave before the dawn, for I see no reason to tarry. Your escort will be ready at the southern gate. Meet with Galadriel and Celeborn and find the truth behind their intentions. Perhaps there is more that they seek than just a new home or realm to establish. Whatever the case truly is, perhaps there is something more to be learned. Return to me within a fortnight and let me know what it is that you have learned. I wish you both a good journey, and I will speak with you again on your return.”
Gil-galad’s face remained expressionless as he dismissed them, and he turned his eyes on the rolling sea before him.
Elrond lingered however, the need to have his questions answered caused him to remain. He waited for Erestor to leave, and his eyes shifted from Gil-galad to watch Erestor go. Once he was alone with Gil-galad, Elrond finally spoke.
“Gil-galad, a word please.” Elrond watched as Gil-galad's eyes moved from the sea and focused solely on him. “Can we talk about what happened last night, for I have many questions, and would seek answers so my heart can settle.”
Gil-galad's lips curved to a beautiful smile. It was seductive as it was wicked, and Elrond felt his heart beat faster with a hunger that roared to life within him.
Gil-galad's deep eyes expressed that he was mulling over the request, but beyond that, they revealed nothing to Elrond.
“We will talk later, when I have more time, and on your return. But it can not be this day. My time is promised to another matter for the rest of the day. Our sentries reports are in and I am needed. I promise that I will call for you later, once you return back to me.”
Elrond opened his mouth to protest, but Gil-galad's stern eyes dismissed him, and conveyed that there would be no time for any dialogue this day. He could do no other but leave, and his heart's beats shifted from excitement to that of the heavy weight of his doubt. He walked through the halls while his mind began to process what Gil-galad had said to him.
But he didn't have long to mull over Gil-galad's words, because Erestor approached him.
“Do you not think its odd that Gil-galad would send us and not his chief-advisor, or even his ambassador to see to this task? Elrond, this is beyond my skill. Dare I question the Lady Galadriel's wants and plans? I like this not, and wish this task had not come to me.”
Elrond had to agree with Erestor's words. It made little sense for Erestor and himself to have been chosen, but yet, this task was theirs to handle. While he did have skill in obtaining information, Erestor had never been given a task like this before, and was untested. It seemed to Elrond that perhaps something else had caused Gil-galad to pick them for this task, and his mind turned with even more questions.
“Worry not, because if Gil-galad believes that it is we who can deliver what he seeks, then your doubt is misplaced. We do not force an issue, we only seek information.”
Elrond could see that Erestor's apprehension had settled, and he even seemed to be devising how the meeting would go.
Indeed his thoughts were on the meeting, because Erestor asked Elrond. “Will you join me this day to discuss our plan of action? We can pack a lunch, and have our discussions beside the sea.”
Elrond smiled to his friend, but he shook his head. “Let us save this discussion for our travels. For the road is long, and I will look forward to such engagement then. There are a few things that I must see to before we leave, and I do not have much time to complete them.”
As much as Elrond wanted to take Erestor up on his offer, he simply didn't feel like working any more this day. Elrond felt dejected, his heart felt beaten down, and all he wanted to do was simply reflect and try to make sense of what had happened. He needed a definition for his relationship with Gil-galad, and the lack of answers weighed heavily upon him. Erestor's plan would only throw him into work, and he wasn't yet ready to engage himself with the worries of Galadriel and Celeborn, at least, not just yet.
He bid Erestor goodbye, and he made his way to his own chambers. Here behind closed door, he could finally retreat in thought. He needed desperately to sort his thoughts out, and he could only do this alone within his sanctuary, away from all others.
Bewilderment had fallen into Elrond’s mind, and the emotions from the last couple of days whirled within his entire consciousness. Why was Gil-galad now sending him away? Was he trying to tell him something? Was he trying to send him some sort of message that was hidden within this task?
“No, Elrond.” He thought aloud. “He just wants to know what actions Celeborn and Galadriel will take and he is merely sending you there to obtain this knowledge for him. He trusts you, and that is all. It is just coincidental that he is sending you away now. There is nothing more to it.”
But even though he rationalized Gil-galad's actions, he simply could not dispel his doubt. Would Gil-galad even call for him this night once his tasks had ended, or would he be left alone?
Elrond seated himself at his desk and he pondered over the events that had occurred between him and the High King.
Today, Gil-galad's face had told him nothing. All emotion had been void from his face, and only the business at hand had concerned him. His eyes had the serious quality that the High King always adopted when issues concerned him. Gil-galad hadn't offered a single word to him, as to hint at what had occurred just the night before. And what made Elrond's heart beat colder was the fact that Gil-galad had not offered him any time this day for a few words of explanation. The time they had shared still remained undefined, and this bothered Elrond more than it should have.
It seemed to Elrond, that he had already been cast aside, and his mind could do no other but arrive to this conclusion. Doubt and uncertainty continued to creep into Elrond's mind after he once again contemplated on why he was being sent to Harlindon now.
The timing was jus so curious.
Before yesterday, Gil-galad had never looked to him before with that gleam in his eye that spoke of any affection or want. In fact, while Elrond knew his King well, their interactions had simply been that of a professional acquaintance. There was respect between them, but nothing more. Friends they were, and attraction and lust did not factor into their relationship. And yet, he had breached what was defined, twisting his friendship with Gil-galad with the lust that coerced through his mind. He wanted Gil-galad, desiring him above all others, and his want for this King never left his mind.
It had been far better for Elrond, when Gil-galad had not looked at him with that eye of want. Love seemed to be nothing to Gil-galad, or at least, as to what Elrond could gather. Not one person that Gil-galad had taken to love had held his heart for long. He had seen the King's flirtations come and go, just as quickly as the wind would change. Gil-galad remained alone, free to live his days in the throws of flirtations and unbound affection. His interest in others faded quickly like the stars within the late dawn sky.
But then Gil-galad had taken him, and he had given himself freely in love to his beloved. Had those winds of disfavor already sweep over him and had blown to yet another?
Gil-galad's actions confused and worried Elrond. Gil-galad had never sent him away before, and the timing bothered him. He was not an emissary, nor did he enjoy the thought of leaving Gil-galad's side. Perhaps if he had not made love to Gil-galad but just a night ago, he would have even enjoyed this assignment.
But not now.
Now this task that he had been given only added uncertainties within his mind. New dimensions and layers would be added to his questions. Their relationship was still undefined, and Gil-galad was not giving him any answers to his questions. His mind screamed within, and he could feel the tears of his anguish well within.
Elrond closed his eyes to quell the unshed tears, for he was too strong to cry, and he drifted back into his memories. This was a dangerous game to play, but he wanted to remember, as he allowed the sensuous and amorous feelings of yesterday wash over him once more. All of the emotions and sensations from last night flooded back into his mind, and his body flushed with the sweet memories that Gil-galad had given to him.
Gil-galad had been a skilled lover, and had set his body and soul ablaze. But that had been yesterday, and today had not brought a single word from Gil-galad, or even a simple acknowledgment of their time together.
Even as his mind resounded with his doubts, Elrond surrendered to his memories, as if he were right back in that moment of time:
Yesterday had started as any usual day. There had been no hints that morning when he had risen that he would end the night in the arms of his King, but yet, that is what had happened.
Elrond had gone about his duties with his usual diligence that day. Together with Erestor, he was sorting some old scrolls when Gil-galad had entered the office. Gil-galad had been stunning that day, Elrond had remembered, and his arousal for his King had immediately manifested, burning deep within his heart. If Gil-galad had noticed, Elrond would never know, but he had done his best to still his heart, least he would give his secret away.
But then Gil-galad had requested his assistance, and he had shivered so violently within, excited, and pleased that it had been him that Gil-galad had chosen for help. He had responded as calmly as he could, despite the excitement that pulsated through his entire body. The secret admiration that he had for Gil-galad burned deep within, but he tried his hardest to hide it. He had told his deepest desires to no one, guarding his secret as if it could never see the light of day.
He had followed Gil-galad to his study, where he had accepted the task of translating the King's private collection of poetry. Gil-galad had explained that he had wanted to translate the verses himself, but he simply hadn't the time, and that he trusted that he would be able to complete this task to his satisfaction.
Elrond had listened to Gil-galad speak, his eyes fixated on those sensual lips and the luring qualities of his deep, seductive voice. And then his eyes had looked into Gil-galad's eyes, noting how they shone like the twinkling stars on the darkest of nights. Elrond's whole body had become inflamed with arousal, his cock had twitched, aching for the King's touch. This proximity to Gil-galad had un-nerved him, fueling his desire to swell and grow beyond what he could control.
But just when his arousal had grown to a dizzying need, Gil-galad had left him. A void had filled his heart, but at the same time, Elrond was relieved that Gil-galad had not noticed his want for him. He had then eased his mind with the task at hand, reminding himself that this was for the better. Gil-galad did not want him, and he did not love him. Gil-galad did not love anyone. How often had he seen hearts break on account of his King?
He had then began translating the scrolls to the best of his ability. He paid special attention to be as accurate as he could, and he made sure that his script was his utmost best. His quill slowly glided across the fresh parchment, the beautifully curving calligraphy began to fill the page. He greatly wanted to impress Gil-galad with the finished product. The thought of his King smiling at his work drove him on.
So absorbed in his task was Elrond, that he was able to forget the desire that burned so deep within. He had been working for awhile, his mind was finally in peace, when suddenly that had all shattered. Gil-galad had returned, and without saying a word, had looked from over his shoulder so that he could see the work that was being done. Elrond's heart had pounded within his chest once more, now that the object of his desire was so close at hand.
Gil-galad had seated himself at the desk just across from him, and Elrond could feel the intense gaze of the King on him. He glanced up to see that Gil-galad was watching him; a strange expression gleamed within his eyes. Elrond had seen that look before, but it had never been directed at him. It had been in that moment that Elrond swore his heart had stopped.
“My king…” he had said, but Gil-galad had spoken before he could continue.
“You look stunning today, Elrond.” Gil-galad had moved towards him, and he ran his fingers through Elrond's long dark hair, breaching the barriers of what had been their relationship.
Elrond had shivered through the gentle touch that reverberated throughout his entire core, surprised that just the simple act of touching his hair could almost bring him to ruin. His heart was about to burst from his chest, his breathing had quickened. A heat so intense had pooled within his groin, causing his cock to swell with arousal. Elrond stirred on his chair, trying to stop his awakening erection.
This was happening, although he simply couldn’t believe that it could. What game was Gil-galad playing at, or was it that Gil-galad did want him? Elrond, for sure, wanted Gil-galad so bad.
He was in such a state of shock, that he didn’t utter a single word, nor did he move as the High King’s finger brushed across his lips. Without even thinking, Elrond had parted his lips, and he closed his eyes, completely losing himself within the wonderful sensations of the touch. Gil-galad's other hand had begun to trace the outline of his ear, which had caused him to shiver even more.
Gil-galad's touch was like a spell, enchanting Elrond to surrender. And Elrond gladly did, although his mind still struggled to accept that Gil-galad did indeed have feelings for him.
How many nights had he yearned for this, dreamt of this, only to conclude that nothing would ever happen between Gil-galad and himself? He had all but given up on his futile feelings, tormented beyond words when he was near Gil-galad, or when he saw others retreat with Gil-galad to the privacy of the king's rooms. Gil-galad radiated like a star to him; a star that shone brightly both day and night. Gil-galad was the star that constantly lit his world and heart. He didn’t know what to think as that finger continued to caress the very sensitive tip of his ear, igniting further his growing arousal.
Surely this couldn't be happening.
But it was.
There was a moment of hesitation on his part. A moment in which he had retreated within his mind, wondering, doubting. He knew that Gil-galad could easily read him, his uncertainty this day was like an open book, transparent and certain. His assumptions were confirmed when Gil-galad spoke to him; those words still echoed within his mind.
“Perhaps I have read you wrong then. Is it not this that you want, which I offer to you?”
“I do. Yes, this is what I want. I want you.” He had been quick to respond to Gil-galad's question, shaking inside with the mounting arousal that burned within. Even though he had heard Gil-galad's words and he could understand his actions, still his mind just couldn’t accept the implications. How could what he had yearned after for so long finally be happening?
This truth was something that he would have to accept, for this was happening. The truth was that Gil-galad was smiling at him, touching his lips, and gazing at him longingly even. Certainly such truths were only just truths and could be nothing more. But Elrond was not so sure anymore. He had witnessed Gil-galad's actions before, and had pitied those who had fallen for the king, only to be swept away like the rolling waves, never breaching the rocky shore. He doubted the gentle kiss that had been placed to his lips, and his mind shattered, his heart ached to have Gil-galad's love.
“I hear your words and yet, I am not so certain.” Gil-galad had said, eyes scrutinizing him. “I do not take what is not freely offered. Tell me, do I leave?”
“You do not.” He had answered, voice transparent with his want, as he had finally cast his fears aside. Elrond had finally accepted Gil-galad's advances, and had accepted that this was love.
Gil-galad had smiled at his words. “Then do come. Join me.” And he offered for him to follow.
He had followed alongside Gil-galad through the halls, until they had reached the King's rooms. He had never been in the private rooms of the King before and he nervously followed him into his bedchamber.
The rooms were large and luxurious. Countless tapestries and weapons adorned the walls, and the room was lushly furnished with extraordinarily carved furniture. The wood of the furniture had been diligently polished, and it reflected the multicolored light that poured in from a large window that was pained as stained-glass. The scene of the window was that of a forest, with many mighty trees underneath a deep azure starlight night.
Gil-galad had then motioned for him to seat himself on the sizable bed that was located in the center of the room. The bed was covered in a richly colored comforter with dark blue borders. Many pillows of various sizes were placed near the leaf-carved wooden headboard of the bed. Four-posts shot upwards from the ends of the bed-frame with a silvery opaque canopy attached to each of the posts. Closer inspection of the canopy showed that the fabric had tiny golden stars embroidered delicately into the material. Elrond had never seen such finery before, but the riches within the room could not keep his attention. Only Gil-galad burned within his mind. Despite the finery of the room, it was Gil-galad who shone the brightest, and how Elrond had yearned for him that day.
He had leaned back onto the bed as Gil-galad began kissing him. He moaned at the wonderful sensation of the kiss, and he opened his mouth so Gil-galad could deepen it. He wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but he let Gil-galad take the lead, willingly yielding control to the High-King.
“Do you want this?” Gil-galad’s soft voice had been pure temptation, and Elrond doubted that he could ever say no to Gil-galad. No matter the reason, he wanted this. It was with his heart and not with his mind that he had answered the King's question.
“More then you would ever know.” Elrond had said, finally confessing the truths that were buried deep within his heart. It had felt good to confess his truest of desires, and he couldn't help but smile, elated that Gil-galad too shared his feelings.
The smile that lit Gil-galad's face resonated within his heart when he looked up to behold it.
“Your beauty touches me Elrond, but it is your intellect that draws me to you. There is none like you, and you bring me such comfort with your presence.”
Gil-galad had paused to take in his reaction. His intense eyes had studied Elrond, and his fingers had once again brushed against the plains of Elrond's face. Gil-galad had obviously been pleased with what he saw, because he had smiled when he sat up on the bed. “Now let me see you. Free yourself from what would cover you.”
Elrond had never trembled as much as he had done when he disrobed before his king. His fingers had fumbled when he unlatched the buttons that held his tunic on. Soon enough, he was naked before Gil-galad, who gazed at him long. Elrond had tried to stop the blush that crept across his body, but it only grew stronger, like his erection that throbbed with his arousal.
And then it was Gil-galad who undressed, and it was Elrond's turn to marvel over the magnificent body before him. He couldn’t help but touch the finely muscled torso, and strong broad shoulders of his King. Gil-galad was similarly exploring his body, and Elrond had never known that he had craved the touch of another so much. His skin flamed alive under Gil-galad's touch, and all of his misgivings slowly melted away.
Gil-galad held him close, and continued kissing him. His mouth moved down the length of his body, until he finally took hold of Elrond's erection. Elrond had never felt anything so wonderful before and he instantly wanted that warm heat to entirely capture him. He arched his hips forward, trying to encourage Gil-galad on. Gil-galad had complied, and soon a sharp cry had left Elrond’s throat. He couldn’t help but thrust into that wonderful heat, and it didn't take him long before he had violently erupted down Gil-galad’s throat.
He was quivering as he rode the aftermath of his orgasm. Elrond's mind was so filled with emotion, and his eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to surface, but he held them back. But Gil-galad had not been finished with him. There was simply no time yet for him to process what was happening, for Gil-galad’s face was above him once more. Elrond had reached his arms out to encircle the one that he loved so much.
Gil-galad kissed him again, and then gently turned him over. “Trust me now.” Gil-galad had whispered into his ear, and Elrond had shivered at that deep and seductive voice. He then felt a slick finger brush against his opening, before it slowly began to message his entrance.
Elrond had flinched at the initial pain as the sole digit drove into his opening. The soft comforting words of the one he loved helped him relax however, and soon what once had been painful turned into something that had felt so good. Gil-galad's dulcet voice had been like a spell, luring him into a calm and relaxing dream, and Elrond could do nothing else but melt under the King's touch, surrendering fully to his will.
Suddenly Gil-galad had brushed across a hidden knob and Elrond had found himself arching in pleasure. Another digit was pushed in, and again intense pleasure rushed throughout his entire body. He could feel another orgasm build within him, rising from deep within his core.
Once he had been prepared, Elrond could fell Gil-galad's erection slowly press against his opening. Elrond wanted this, he had yearned for this, and now that it was happening, he surrendered to the glorious sensations that pulsated throughout his body. A strong pain shot through his body when Gil-galad had finally entered him. But soon that pain had turned to sheer ecstasy when Gil-galad had hit that sweet spot over and over again. Elrond lost his ability of coherent thoughts, and was no longer able to process what was happening. All he could do was feel the amazing sensations that rolled through his body, in wave after wave it crashed within. Elrond felt as if he was soaring past the clouds and into the field of stars.
Gil-galad had set a steady pace that then turned quicker, rougher. And Elrond had met his King's thrusts with wanton abandon. Glorious waves of pleasure built strongly within him, threatening to burst at any second. It pulled Elrond to a place where he had never been before. It was a place where he had never thought he would go with Gil-galad.
Soon, however, Gil-galad had erupted into his body, and almost in unison, Elrond had orgasmed again. Elrond had cried out Gil-galad's name, and he had nuzzled close to Gil-galad.
“So good.” Gil-galad had whispered into Elrond’s ear, but he said nothing else to Elrond.
Elrond had sighed in his bliss, and he had longed to say those three words that he had been wanting to say to Gil-galad for so very long. Elrond's heart pounded within his chest, and he had taken a deep breath.
“I love you.” His confession had finally been stated.
But no response had came from Gil-galad, not then, and not even today….
~
Back from his memories, Elrond could feel a cold void fill his heart, painfully rolling up to his mind. His eyes forced back bitter tears, and he stood, trying his hardest to dull the poignant and raging emotions that battled within his heart and mind. He turned his eyes to the window, and he noticed that the sun had chased the clouds away and had climbed to its noon position, crowning the sky.
The mid-day meal would be commencing, but Elrond had no hunger. His mind simply would not move from the silence that had followed after he had said those words to Gil-galad. He had meant with all of the emotion within his heart those words. For him to have said I love you, was not done as a careless declaration. It was the true reflection of what burned within him, compelling him, moving him to the sweet understanding of what life itself meant. But Gil-galad had said nothing, not in response, nor in a simple revelation of his own feelings. Not even his body or his eyes disclosed what he had been thinking after Elrond had said those words to him.
The only response that Gil-galad had given to him had come to him today. Gil-galad would not speak with him. Gil-galad was sending him away.
He meditated on the sharp contrast that can come so quickly within the span of a day. He had felt happiness but just a few hours ago, and today, he was not so sure. He was being sent away, the motives behind the request were unknown to him. Sure Gil-galad needed answers to his questions, but why him? Elrond never carried out such tasks for Gil-galad. Erestor was right to doubt, for he certainly did.
In his uncertainty, Elrond concluded that his time with Gil-galad was over, and he was just like the others, already cast off to make room for the next. Elrond was certain now that Gil-galad wanted nothing more from him, and that he was nothing in the eyes of the High King. How else was he to interpret Gil-galad's actions? He felt defeated and empty as he threw himself upon his bed. Tears began surface once more, but he held them back, chiding himself for his weak emotions.
He was stronger than this. He could have the heart of another so very easily. But Elrond knew deep within that it was not anyone else's affections that he yearned for. No, it was only Gil-galad that he craved.
His heart had known what true bliss had felt like, but just a night ago when he had a taste of his truest desire. But now he was no longer positive if a love between him and Gil-galad could exist any longer.
–-----
Once evening had settled on Forlindon, Elrond finally emerged from his room. He had passed the hours in silence, mind empty but heavy. Somehow, he had managed to let his mind entertain other fancies. His thoughts of mindless matters gave him some reprieve. He had even managed to pack for the journey ahead, and he had accepted the task that had been given to him. Elrond even could say that he was looking forward to seeing Harlond, and seeing the new and familiar faces that lived there.
At any rate, Elrond had little thought of Gil-galad, but he had not found a way to find peace for his still heavy heart.
The city of Forlond was just starting to settle in for the night, and the absence of the day's bustle and sounds allowed the howling wind to echo around the buildings. The desperate and wailing sounds pushed throughout the entire city. Loud the winds blew, rushing past Elrond's open window in streams of cries that seemed to grow louder and louder, crescendoing with each stream. Elrond usually would have stopped to admire the glorious sounds that the wind could make, perhaps even allowing it to lure him back out to the sea where he would star-gaze with the mist of the sea-water washing over him. But not this evening. His heart just wouldn't allow him such a sweet reprieve.
But Elrond had a very strong mind, and his pragmatic ways forced him to see to his needs. He was traveling tomorrow, and he needed his strength. He made his way to the dinning hall, hunger pulling him from his worrisome thoughts. He had far to travel, and the road was not without perils.
He knew that the evening meal would have already concluded, and he entered the empty room grateful that any prying eye had already left. Elrond was not in the mood for idle chatter, least he might give away his transparent worry, and then be forced to deny that anything was amiss. The kitchens were just adjacent to the room, and it was here that he made himself a plate.
The food, although good, did little to satisfy him. Nor did the walk through the citadel's gardens after he had finished eating. He sat there alone in an oft used spot, trying his best not to let his mind return back to Gil-galad, even though it was trying to. Elrond knew that this was a battle that he just could not win. He was so unnerved by just how strong the contrast between satisfaction and disheartenment actually were, and by just how quickly one emotion could swing from one extreme to the other. It was so cruel just how quickly emotions could flame and turn, changing like the unpredictable winds that blew in from the harbor and swirled around him. The winds seemed to dance, careless and unfettered to the land's woes and worries. And Elrond wished with all his heart that he could be carried away on the cusps of the wind, where he too could be free.
Perhaps his mind would have handled Gil-galad's indifference this day better, if only those words that he had been yearning to hear had just been said, or if any half-assed attempt of a promise had been made. But Gil-galad has said nothing. All he had given him were actions that had little been defined. Maybe Gil-galad had not intended his actions to be a promise of forever, but Elrond doubted that he could settle for anything less. He cursed himself for giving into heart's want. His logic had warned him to walk away. Why did he have to be so weak?
Was it true then? Did Gil-galad indeed lack the need or want for a love that was everlasting? It very well could be the case, and Elrond was not so sure.
Elrond's heart simply would not let this disquiet go.
He needed answers to his looping questions, and there was only one in all of Arda who could provide them to him. He would have to confront Gil-galad. There was no other way to truly find the answers to what spun around and tormented his mind this night.
Elrond had made his way to Gil-galad's room, sneaking through the halls as if he was a thief in the night. He frowned, doubt creeping into his mind once more, and he paused, hesitant to continue, wondering if he should just turn back and not force the King into an answer.
But with this very long day that had passed in which Elrond had been stuck within his doubts, he knew that retreat was not an option. He knew that he could not wait two more weeks to see him again, and hope to learn exactly what he was to Gil-galad. His mind would keep on turning with his questions, and the weeks of long torment was something that he little wanted to bear. He doubted that he could, so he pressed on further down the hall.
That familiar door was before him, and Elrond wasted no time, knocking gently on the door. He paused, hoping to hear a tender voice call out to him, inviting him in. But no sounds came to him, and no luring voice called out his name, beckoning him to enter.
Elrond wasn't at all surprised, but he knocked again, and he pressed his ear to the door, wondering if Gil-galad was even within the rooms. If he was within, was he even alone? Elrond fumed at the thought, and he listened, trying to make out any sound at all. The room, for what he could tell, was still, and only silence greeted him. But Elrond could not be deterred.
To hell with protocol! He thought. Matters would have to be taken into his own hands.
Elrond pushed open the door, and he stormed into the room. Of course Gil-galad was within, causally lounging across his bed, draped only in a simple sleeping robe. The almost sheer fabric did little to hide his beautiful body beneath it. Gil-galad was reading the poetry that Elrond had translated but just a day ago for him. Elrond was relieved to see that the King was alone.
Gil-galad looked up from the poetry, his face remained passive, his eyes inquisitive, but they were not overly inviting. Elrond would have even called Gil-galad's eyes cold this night.
“I find your choice of verbiage interesting, Elrond. Where most would have translated the first lines to reflect the passive voice, you did not. Such a novel approach, but very effective, nonetheless. I would even venture to call it clever. I like this take on the poem, although it is very strange indeed.”
Gil-galad sat up, and put the parchment aside. “Overall, I am very pleased with your work, Elrond. I shall have you translate more of this poetry once you return from Harlindon.”
Gil-galad of course spoke before Elrond could address the topic that he wanted so desperately to discuss. But this was typically Gil-galad, and Elrond listened respectfully, as was befitting to the King. Despite himself, he couldn't help but smile, enjoying the compliment even though his anxiety pulsated through his mind.
“Gil-galad….” Elrond's voice came out timidly, and he paused, hesitant to continue despite the boldness that had driven him to barge within his King's rooms.
“What has left you to such worry this night?” Gil-galad spoke for him, interupting him once more, and he stood and walked to where Elrond was standing. “I know that you do not travel often. Please know that the road is not so perilous and an escort will accompany you. I care very much for your safety, and would have you return safely back to me.”
“It is not the travel that would impress worry upon my mind.” Elrond sighed, and he decided to move the topic to that of what he wanted to discuss.
“Gil-galad, please tell me, what am I to you? What was it that we did last night?” Elrond finally stated the question that had been bothering him all day.
He saw Gil-galad's eyes turn with a certain curiosity, before they softened, reflecting the tenderness that he had shown to him but just a night ago. A reassuring smile spread across Gil-galad's face, and his body opened up, tender and gentle, inviting even. Elrond couldn't help but trust Gil-galad, as he was receptive to his body language, even though his mind screamed out its warning.
“You mean more to me than you could ever know.” Gil-galad said, embracing Elrond. His strong arms enveloped Elrond, pulling him close. “Do not let uncertainties drive you to despair. Settle your mind and know that it is for you that I care.”
Elrond allowed himself to melt into the embrace, although his mind still doubted the sweet-nothings that he was hearing. While actions were very meaningful, words were just as powerful, and Elrond had not heard those words that he so desperately wanted to hear from Gil-galad. Despite Gil-galad's actions and words, Elrond's trepidations just would not dissipate from his mind, and he tensed in the embrace.
Gil-galad could sense his doubts, and he took Elrond into a tender kiss as he tried to ease his mind and heart. And when the kissed had ended, Gil-glad asked. “What has driven you to such unease this night? You leave me to worry for you Elrond. I assured you that we would speak again on your return, and yet here you are with your worries. Speak what is on your mind.”
“You did not respond.” Elrond said, voice shaking under the weight of his emotions. His boldness once more had manifested and he continued to speak what was on his mind. “I told you how I felt yesterday. I pulled so deep from within my heart a secret that I had been hiding for so very long. But what I said, I meant, and your silence was all that you gave to me in return.”
Gil-galad sighed, but his eyes remained gentle, reflecting just how much he cared for Elrond. “I will be here for you when you return.” He said. “Remember, it is only a fortnight that will keep us apart. Do not entertain notions that would lead you to doubt me. I look to no one, like I do to you. Hear my words and take heart with what I say to you.”
The words that Gil-galad spoke were not quite what Elrond had wanted to hear, but they were all that Gil-galad gave to him in response to his worries. The words brought him little comfort, and only seemed to bring more questions that he knew would later stir within his mind.
“The stars shine so bright this night, as if to warm the cold winds that blow in from the sea. Their light brings me such comfort, and I would revel in their light this night.” Gil-galad said, changing the subject as he had turned his gaze from Elrond to that of the star-filled sky. And Gil-galad motioned for Elrond to join him as he walked out onto his balcony.
Elrond followed, and he could see that Gil-galad could take comfort in the stars this night, but to him, their light could not resonate to his own soul. Even though he too turned his gaze up to the star-fields, and his eyes looked out to the same stars that held Gil-galad in trance, serenity just did not find him. Instead the light of the stars shone cold to him, hallow and so distant. All he could see was a far away light that was transient and would fade from his memory even before he would take the southern road to Harlond. He wondered if the stars were like the cold wind, and that they too were already passing him over as if in the blink of an eye.
No longer caring to look at the stars, Elrond turned his gaze to Gil-galad who still held his eyes steadfast on the stars. Their beauty had fully mesmerized him.
Time moved slowly, and even as the hour grew late, not a word passed between them. Only the blazing stars and the howling wind entertained Gil-galad's perception. It was as if Elrond was not beside him. And Elrond too, tried to let the stars and wind sweep his mind away from his doubts. But he could not quiet his roaring emotions.
“Gil-galad….” He had started to say, needing to engage Gil-galad in dialogue once more, but he was interrupted once more.
“Take your rest Elrond. Dawn will soon be upon us, and for you, the hour of your departure to Harlond. While the road is not too treacherous with peril, still you will need to be alert and aware. May my blessing guide you on the road to Harlond, and may the stars keep you safe and bring you back to me.”
Elrond listened to Gil-galad's words, and he knew that he couldn't stay any longer by Gil-galad's side this night. All he could do was leave the one he loved alone, and he retreated to his rooms.
–
Back in his rooms, Elrond threw himself across his bed, closing his eyes to the beautiful moon and stars that hung within the night sky. He simply did not want to see their empty lights any longer, least his mind would form the image of his King, who had shone with radiance under the light of the stars. What entranced Gil-galad only brought coldness to Elrond's heart now.
The stars were empty just like Gil-galad's words had been. There was no hint of love, beyond his familiar affection. Elrond sighed as he came to accept his final conclusion. He would need to forget what he had shared with Gil-galad, just like he would need to forget the love that burned so poignantly for him. He would hide his love away.
---
Author Notes:
I am respoting old stories that had once been here.
This story is not beta read, and I apologize for all the mistakes.
The title for this story is inspired from the Jamala song Обещание (Promise)
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