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All Along	By : Cheysuli Category: -Multi-Age > Het - Male/Female Views: 1894 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-All Along
- 1
Title: All Along

Author: Cheysuli

E-mail: cheysuli@gvtc.com

Pairing: Legolas/Aragorn, Aragorn/female

Rating: R

Summary: After years of being with Aragorn, Legolas finally realizes something.

Series/Sequel: None

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Het content. I swore I�d never write het, but a friend said I couldn�t write het to save my life. I just had to prove her wrong. Although I couldn�t stomach it without slash.

Author notes: First time I ever wrote in first person. Just had to mention that.

___________________________
I watch as Aragorn enters our darkened room, hours late as usual. He tries to be quiet as he strips out of his rumpled clothing, fumbling with the many buttons. Usually I would sit up and help, trying not to ask why the buttons are in the wrong holes, but tonight I just feign sleep. I can�t deal with this right now.
He finally removes the last of his clothing and slides into bed, taking me into his arms and pulling me against him. My attempt to pretend to be asleep fails as I cough from the smell of cheap perfume that clings to him.
�Are you awake, my love?�
I sigh and turn over, forcing a smile on my face. �I am now, love,� I say. �Why are you so late, Aragorn?�
�I had to go over some paperwork, Legolas,� he answers, stroking my hair. He smiles and kisses me lightly on the lips. �It�s not easy being king, you know.�
I know. Oh, how I know. Everything was so much better when he was still a ranger. Our life, our relationship; it was all perfect. But now�
I curse the day he was crowned, the day our perfect life shattered. He doesn�t realize that I know what he�s been doing all these years, what he started doing within his first month of being king. And I let him think I don�t know. I let him think that I believe everything is as perfect as it once was, so long ago.
I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder, trying to ignore the perfume and the faint scent of sex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up alone in a cold bed, just as I do every morning. I lay there, running my hand over the place where Aragorn slept every night. He never stayed for more than a few hours, always leaving before I wake up. I don�t know why he bothers coming to this bed anymore.
I sit up and reach for a robe, pulling it on as I step from the bed. I nearly trip over Aragorn�s discarded clothes, remembering that he just dropped them on the floor last night. I reach down and pick them up, a pale pink cloth falling out of one of the pockets.
I stare at the lacy underwear, not really wanting to touch it but knowing I couldn�t just leave it there. I sigh and pick it up, adding it to the pile of clothes in my arms. I walk to the bathroom and drop Aragorn�s clothes in the hamper before throwing the underwear in the trash. I stare into the trash bin, studying the underwear, silk scarves, and garters that I�ve found over the past week.
I really need to get someone to empty the trash.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I slowly made my way down the hall towards Aragorn�s office, a room I rarely visit but when Aragorn left this morning, he forgot his appointment book. I don�t know why he insists on carrying it everywhere when he could just leave it in his office.
I raise my hand to push open the door, but quiet voices stop me. I listen for a moment, trying to convince myself that that wasn�t moaning I heard, before knocking sharply on the door.
The moans stop and I can hear as Aragorn and his guest scramble around before Aragorn answers. �Enter!�
I swallow and push open the door, afraid of what I would see, and just stand there for a moment. I look quickly around the office before my eyes find Aragorn sitting at his desk. He seems to be alone in the room. �What do you need, Legolas?� he asks, grinning innocently.
I smile and hold up the book. �You forgot your book, my love,� I answer, stressing the word love. He seems not to notice that my smile is forced and he stands, walking over to me. I study his appearance, noting the loose ties on his leggings and his flushed face. �Are you all right, Aragorn,� I ask, feigning concern. �You look overheated.�
Aragorn frowns and runs his hand down his face. �The servants must have forgotten to open the windows this morning.�
I nod; glancing over at his desk and seeing a slight breeze from the very open windows push around some papers. I must admit that I�m surprised that he actually has paperwork in here. I thought his steward took care of it, despite what Aragorn would have me believe.
I frown as I hear a slight thump coming from underneath the desk. So that�s where his guest went.
I return my attention to Aragorn and hand him the book before turning to leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat alone in the gardens, lovingly tending the flowers that grew there. This was the only place I could find peace in this city of stone. I don�t know how the Men could stand being cut off from the outside world like this. I don�t know how I endured it all theses years, but I know why. I endured it for him, for Aragorn. I would do anything for the love of my life.
Even turn a blind eye from his activities.
I sigh and finger the petals of a white rose, my favorite. To me, white roses symbolize innoe, pe, purity. Every time I thought of my relationship with Aragorn, I used to picture a white rose.
I prick my finger on the rose�s thorns, my b sta staining the pure flower. I fight back tears. Everything in my life has become stained; even my roses are no longer pure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I return quickly to my room, not wanting to run into Aragorn or any of the servants. I wouldn�t be able to handle their concern at my distress. Not that I expect Aragorn to notice.
I strip off my clothes and enter the bathroom. I gather soap and towels, setting them next to the large tub before beginning to fill the tub with water from the many buckets nearby. Satisfied with the depth, I lower myself into the cool water.
I soak for long moments before I unbraid my hair and wet it. I grab the soap and work up lather, running my hands through my long, soft hair. Aragorn used to do this for me. He used to love touching my hair, telling me it was like sunshine and silk.
I smile sadly as I remember how he always insisted that I let him fix my hair every morning. He was always so gentle when he brushed my hair. I really miss that.
I sigh and finish my bath, stepping out of the tub and picking up a thick towel. I wrap it tightly around me, trying to imagine it was Aragorn around me, keeping me warm.
I shake my head, angry with myself, before walking to my bedroom. I drop the towel on the floor by the bed, suddenly feelioo too tired to be tidy, and crawl under the blankets. I was asleep within moments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke to a strange noise coming from the bathroom. I sat up, startled, and reached for my robe. I quickly pulled it on and left the bed, noticing a trail of clothing leading from the door to the bathroom.
I stare at the clothes in dismay, seeing Aragorn�s leggings and shirt lying next to a blue dress. He wouldn�t. Not here, not in my room. I kneel down next to the clothing and reach out a shaking hand to touch them.
The clothes are soaking wet, reeking of strong wine, and I pull my hand back, disgusted. I turn my attention to the bathroom, listening to the sounds that woke me up. Drunken giggles and moans reach my ears and I stand, walking over to the open doorway.
I stare, shocked at what I see. I knew this is what hd, ed, everyday for years now, but he had never, ever shoved that fact in my face like this. Tears flow down my face as I realize that he truly didn�t care about me anymore. �No,� I tell mys loo looking away from the scene. �He still cares, he�s just drunk, that�s all.�

I try so hard to believe that. But I can�t.
I turn my gaze reluctantly back to the doorway, watching as the love of my life kissed the young servant girl. He held the girl tightly, her legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into her. She moaned and threw head ead back as he released her mouth and started sucking on her breasts.
I watch, feeling my heart break, as he thrust hard one last before slipping his cock from her. He gently sets her on her feet, and whispers to her. They slowly slide to the floor, exhausted from their activities, and fall asleep.
They never even knew I was there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I quietly close the door and stumble towards the bed, falling onto thickhick blankets and burying my face in my pillow. I couldn�t believe he had done this, in my own room with me asleep just a few feet away.
I start cry, the pillow muffling my sobs. Until now I could pretend that everything was just fine, when the only evidence I had of Aragorn�s infidelity was just a few pieces of clothing. But now, when he had just so cruelly shoved that fact in my face, showing me that he truly didn�t love me anymore�
I stop crying and sit up, wiping the tears from my face. I had the sudden need to do something, anything to get my mind off of what I had just witnessed. I stood and made my way numbly around the room, not paying attention to what I was doing just as long as I was doing something.
After a few moments of blind activity I blink. Somehow I had gotten myself dressed during the last few moments and was now tossing clothes into a bag. I shook my head, realizes I was wearing my traveling clothes. Somehow my body had decided to do what I was so afraid to accept.
I sigh and close the bag, trying hard not to cry. I have done enough of that.
I take a long look around the room, remembering the few happy moments Aragorn and I had in here during the first few days after he was crowned. I don�t know why I hadn�t left back when all this heartache first started. I should have, despite the love I still held for him, even to this day. I think hard for a moment as I walk towards the door.
Fear. That was it. I stayed because I was afraid of being lonely.
I choke back a sob as I take one last look towards the room where my love was holding someone else. The moment I saw them together, loving each other, I realized something.
I have been alone all along.

~The End~
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All Along